Tag Archives: struggle

Tough Workouts (or Having Challenges Every Day)

Posted on October 27, 2014 | Comments Off on Tough Workouts (or Having Challenges Every Day)

This past week was not my best week of workouts. I still went 3 times during the week, but I was not able to really put out a full effort each time.

It’s probably a good thing that I had a bad week. It proved to me that even when I can’t do my best, I can still do something. And I did burn at least 450 calories in each class (that’s a lot in 60 minutes!).

Monday wasn’t that bad of a day. The workout went really great and I was pushing myself like crazy. I’m trying to move up in what weights I use during the strength portion. I used to always start at 10 pounds and go from there, but now I’m starting at 12 pounds. And I’m finding that for most things (except lateral arm moves) that is a good weight for me. I’d like to eventually move up to the 15 pounds weights, but I don’t have a timeline for that yet.

The Monday Challenge was a running challenge. I hate those. There isn’t always a modification for the challenge for walkers so I’m not able to fully participate in them. This challenge was running at 10.5 MPH for as long as you can. I didn’t attempt it because I was terrified that I would fall off the treadmill. So instead, I did 4 MPH at 15% incline (the highest incline the treadmill can do). I managed a little over 30 seconds at that. I wasn’t timed because it wouldn’t count, but even if I was timed, everyone was over the 1 minute mark so I wouldn’t have made it on the wall. But I tried. And when this challenge comes around again, maybe I can do 45 seconds.

Wednesday was tough because it was the day after my bad food day. Eating like that really affected my workout. I felt sluggish and had trouble focusing. I was having dizzy spells similar to what I had when I had my ear issues. I was totally thrown off and the trainer, JZ, noticed. But the important thing is that I showed up and tried.

And Friday, my hip decided that it had enough of me. My bones kept grinding against each other all day. And while I was carefully timing my 2 types of painkillers and making sure to take them every 8 hours (for one pill) and every 4 hours (for the other pill), my hip kept catching and walking was extremely difficult for me. It didn’t help either that my heart rate monitor is class was glitchy. I usually look at it to see if I’m hitting the heart rate zones I need to. And if I’m too low or too high I adjust things. But my heart rate was going from 60% to 105% and all over the place. So I have no idea if my effort was what was needed. And I didn’t want to leave class to get a new one so I just sucked it up.

After my Friday workout, my hip started to get much worse. Every time this happens I freak out a little bit. Now it’s a bigger freak out. I’ve now realized that when I have my next surgery (no matter which hip surgery ends up being my next one), I’ll be out of commission as far as workouts go for at least a month or so. If my next surgery is making my left hip like my right one (not getting a hip replacement), there is a chance that I could at least do the strength section (I just wouldn’t be able to stand without crutches and therefore couldn’t go on the treadmill).

I can’t think like that right now, but I can’t help it. Now that I’m getting in a groove, anything that alters that makes me worry that I will have trouble returning to it. I’m debating making an appointment with my surgeon again, but I don’t think that anything he says will be different from last time (I have the option to do the surgery whenever I want).

In the meanwhile, I’m looking forward to another week of workouts this week and hopefully I’ll have some more positive days!

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Default ThumbnailChecking Things Off The List (or 4 Workouts In 1 Week) Default ThumbnailWeird Workout Times (or My Final Workouts Before My 5K) Default ThumbnailDoing Some Challenges (or Mondays Are Going To Be Tough) Default ThumbnailTough Workout Week (or I Made It Through My 4 Workouts) Default ThumbnailWorking Through Physical Challenges (or Not Letting Feeling Bad Ruin My Workouts) Default ThumbnailIt’s Mayhem Time (or Working My Way Through Some Tough Workouts)

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Posted in Fitness, Fun Stuff, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

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Honesty Time (or Going Backwards)

Posted on June 3, 2014 | 1 comment

I haven’t talked about weight loss on here for a while. And it’s because things are going so great for me right now.

In fact, I’ve gained a decent amount of weight. I haven’t gained everything that I lost, but I gained back a good chunk of it.

And I haven’t wanted to share that on here because I don’t want to disappoint you all. But then I realized that everyone who is going through weight struggles has this moment. I’ve had it before and I’m sure I’ll have it again.

What makes this different is I stopped it (or at least realized it) before all the progress I had made disappeared. And I’m trying to take steps to go back in the right direction.

Why the weight gain? Well, lately both my food choices haven’t been great and I’ve been skipping workouts. So of course I should expect weight gain.

The thing is, I didn’t realize how long it had been since I last worked out. When I finally looked at my history at SoulCycle, I realized that I haven’t been there in a month. And my last workout was the blogger event at FlyWheel. But that was several weeks ago.

Since realizing this over the weekend, I have had a big workout (but that will come in another post). But missing workouts was only part of the picture. Food is always going to be a battle for me and I don’t want it to beat me. So I downloaded several books onto my kindle about eating disorders (mostly on binge eating but some on eating disorders in general).

I starting with a book that I saw recommended on another blog that I read. I’m about a third of the way done with it and it is eye-opening to see that other people have the exact same struggles that I do. Somehow it feels like eating disorders are a very lonely thing and nobody understands how you feel. But when you are really open and honest about it you find that there are other people who get exactly what you go through.

I’m hoping to get myself back on the right track quickly. I have another 5K coming up in less than 2 weeks and I don’t want to be unprepared for it.

But if nothing else, at least I recognized that I was slipping before I got back to the start line.

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Posted in Fitness, Food, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

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Realizing My Reach (or Geeking Out Over A Tweet)

Posted on December 6, 2013 | Comments Off on Realizing My Reach (or Geeking Out Over A Tweet)

I know that people read this blog. I check my site stats (sometimes a bit obsessively), I have friends and family comment to me in real life about something I said on here, and I have people comment on the blog itself. I know that some people think that I’m brave for what I’m writing on here, but I’m just trying to be honest with myself. I’m not trying to prove anything to anyone.

But even though I’m doing this more for myself than anyone else, sometimes knowing that somebody read your blog can just change your day.

Yesterday, I had an @ reply come through on twitter. Not an uncommon occurrence, and I didn’t check it right away. But once I did check my replies, I had a little freakout.

This is what I saw:

Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 11.19.23 AM

Jennifer Weiner is one of my all time favorite writers (I mentioned her in this post a while back). I can’t believe that she reads my blog! I’m still kind of geeking out over the fact that she follows me on twitter!

And even though I know that a bunch of you read this (obviously, otherwise you wouldn’t be seeing this post), knowing that one person who I truly look up to reads this (and without me personally sending her the posts to read) just freaks me out a little bit.

I am careful with what I say on here without trying to censor myself. I know that for any future jobs when potential employers google my name that this blog will come up. I try to be honest but not hurtful.

I know that anybody in the world can read this. And for some posts, I hope that lots of people read it and get inspired, hope, or knowledge from it. That’s why I’m being so open about things. For so long, I was quiet about all my struggles. And I thought that I was the only one going through them. But as I open up other people come forward and share their struggles as well. It’s so refreshing to live a more honest life and have more honest people surrounding me.

Quick note I wanted to add on here after I wrote this post on Thursday morning. I went out to lunch with my parents Thursday afternoon (I’ll share that story next week). I mentioned to my mom about Jennifer Weiner tweeting at me, and my mom mentioned how she was just starting one of her books, “The Next Best Thing”. I love when my life comes full circle like that!

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Posted in Fun Stuff, Tough Stuff

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I’m Tired (or The Day to Day Struggles)

Posted on August 21, 2012 | 1 comment

I’m really tired. Physically tired, emotionally tired, and mentally tired.

I’m physically tired for a few reasons. One is that I haven’t slept well in a few weeks. I had previously posted this picture of my alarm clock in my bedroom:

Little did I know that that would be one of the cooler nights in my room. Since the 10th, it has not been below 86 degrees in my bedroom when I have gone to bed. Most days, it’s in the low 90s. I know that by being heavier I get warm easier, but I don’t know too many people who can sleep soundly in a room that is 90 degrees. I don’t have a good solution for this problem. My house is locked up all day when I’m at work and I don’t want to stay up too long trying to cool it down. I’m just hoping the heat wave is over soon.

I’m emotionally tired because I’ve had a few ups and downs over the past few weeks. I was so excited for my birthday, and then I get into the car accident. I was happy to get my car back, and now I’m stressed out more than I should be about going to the dentist and dealing with my new dental insurance (if anyone uses the standalone SAG-AFTRA Guardian dental insurance and has advice, please let me know). I have a horrible fear of the dentist. I make myself so nervous that he’s going to tell me that all my teeth are in horrible condition and they all have to have crowns or be replaced. I’m normally ok when I just go to see the dental hygienist (she’s very nice and understands my fear), but on Thursday, I have the double whammy appointment: see both the dentist and the hygienist. I’m getting x-rays, an exam, and a cleaning. And then I have to calm down somehow after that to go to work.

And my work is another thing that is making me tired. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so incredibly grateful for my job. It got me out of a job situation that wasn’t working for me anymore and I’m making 2 to 3 times what I made at my old job. But working 6 days a week is starting to get to me a bit. At first, I didn’t really notice it. Fridays and Saturdays are half days, so I have all afternoon to get stuff done. But only having one full day off is starting to be tough. I pretty much always have to do laundry and grocery shopping that day. And I try to work out that day too. And after all the cleaning, shopping, and working out; it seems like my Sunday is over. I’ll have some 2 day weekends soon. I believe we get Labor Day off and in late September my dad is coming to visit me so I’m taking a Monday off of work. There is an off season for this job, but it’s unknown when it will start. Originally, the job took a hiatus in November and then again after the new year, but now we might go straight until January or February.

I know I sound like I’m complaining, and I am. But sometimes you have to just put this stuff out there in order for it to be out of your head. I’m really trying to focus on all the positives in the tired situations. Even though it’s hot in my room now, the heat wave in LA is ending soon. Even though I’ve had a bunch of emotional ups and downs, I have my car back now and by about this time on Thursday the dentist visit will be over. And even though working 6 days a week is tough, I have an awesome job that is allowing me to pay down my debt much faster than I previously had.

Hopefully these ideas will keep me feeling energized and not tired soon.

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Posted in Tough Stuff

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