Posted onJune 24, 2020|Comments Off on I Guess This Makes Me Feel A Bit Better (or A Physical Explanation For My Emotional Symptoms)
The past week, I’ve been struggling more than normal. I haven’t been sleeping well. I have been feeling off. I had some body aches and pains that I couldn’t explain. And I just had a general feeling of uneasiness. I assumed that this was due to isolation and my mental health. I know a lot of people are dealing with a bit of depression right now and it made sense to me that I might be dealing with the same. I would almost be worried if I didn’t have a bit of depression right now. I don’t want the current state of the world to be normal to me.
So I had been trying to do things to make me feel better. I’ve been especially focusing on my sleep because I know when I’m tired it makes everything harder for me. I just couldn’t seem to sleep well even if I was going to bed early. I was tossing and turning a lot, and some of that was due to hip pain. I also couldn’t reach deep sleep and when I did I had some really weird dreams that made me wake up feeling very unsettled. Again, I assumed this was all due to the circumstances with the world and didn’t think too much about it.
And then, I ended up getting my period almost 2 weeks early. Sorry if this is TMI, but I write about this plenty. I write about how much pain and nausea I deal with and how much it affects my life. And usually, I deal with a lot of symptoms for 5-7 days before my period starts and I am pretty miserable. For some reason, because I wasn’t dealing with nausea, I didn’t even consider that everything I was dealing with could be this. Also, since I’m usually pretty regular I never would think that I would get my period 2 weeks early.
There are so many reasons why this happened. I am guessing a lot of it is stress and nothing more than that. I know there can be medical reasons for this, but that’s usually when you have irregularity happening more consistently and this was just random for me. Or at least I hope it’s random. I track things so I will know if it’s happening a lot before my next doctor’s appointment.
And now, I’m dealing with the pain and nausea that I usually have. That’s really annoying because I just got over nausea about a week and a half ago. I thought I would have more freedom from it. I’m used to having more time without it. But I can’t do much now except try to take care of myself with my usual remedies and medications. It’s not as bad as it has been before, so that is a good sign. Of course, it could get worse as this week goes on. But I’m going to be grateful that it’s not bad now and I didn’t have the week of nausea before this that I was expecting.
As frustrating as it is to have my period be 2 weeks early, in some ways, it’s also a relief. I never thought all these issues I was dealing with could be related to my period since I wasn’t expecting it. But now that I know my cycle was thrown off, almost everything makes sense. The weird pains I was experiencing can almost all be explained by this (except my hip pain, but that might be a weather thing). Moodiness and fatigue make sense. The issues sleeping make more sense, even though that’s not something I normally have it’s something I occasionally have. The general feeling of uneasiness makes perfect sense now. And while I can’t feel certain that everything I’ve been experiencing will end when my period does, I do have a bit of hope that it will. I don’t have to worry as much that this is just how I’m mentally doing because these issues did come on suddenly. I hope they will go away just as suddenly.
I know that if I googled irregular cycles that there can be a lot of reasons to worry (especially when you consider my age). But since this is a one-off thing for now, I’m not going to think too much about it. Hopefully, things regulate in my body for the next cycle. And if they don’t, then I can discuss it with my doctor when I go in for my next appointment. But for now, I’m just grateful that I have a better idea about why I have been feeling so off for the past few days.
Posted onMay 13, 2020|Comments Off on I Guess This Made My Life A Bit Interesting (or An Outing To Urgent Care)
Of course, right after a post where I said I have a lot of repeating days, I have something that changes things up for me. This wasn’t necessarily a good thing, but I guess any variety helps me from boredom.
I’ve had a few different autoimmune diseases for the majority of my life. I’ve been very lucky because I have never had really severe cases. One of my autoimmune diseases is about hair loss. And while I have lost a lot of hair from time to time, and even had significant bald spots, it has never been as bad as I know it could get. And while hair loss is upsetting, it’s not the worse thing I could deal with and I’m lucky that there are ways to cover it up if I did lose more of my hair.
My other autoimmune disease isn’t as simple. It causes flares and bumps on my skin (for me, it’s mainly on my upper legs). Most of the time these flares are just annoying, but sometimes they can get painful. But they tend to be pretty small so even if they hurt, they aren’t affecting too much of my body. There are a few treatment options I can try to reduce the frequency or size of these flares, but I have never been so severe that I considered doing them. Although I will say that I am considering it more now.
I had a flare appear over the weekend. I’m assuming that a lot of the flares I’m getting are due to stress right now. I’ve noticed that I’m also losing more hair than normal, so I just figured that all my autoimmune issues are reacting to the stress. But this new flare wasn’t like the ones that I’m used to. It was very deep in my skin (compared to being closer to the skin) and it was super painful. I assumed that it would get better as that is what normally happens. But on Monday, it was much worse. I felt a lump under my skin that was the size of a softball and I had a lot of redness and swelling. I have always known that my flares could cause cellulitis because I had experienced a minor case of that, but this was much worse than anything I had ever dealt with.
I really don’t want to go to the hospital for any reason right now, but after trying some of the remedies I know to try at home I knew that I had to. The size of the painful area on my leg was just increasing without stopping and I didn’t want it to turn into something much worse. I did try to do telemedicine first because I thought maybe they could just prescribe me antibiotics, but I had to be seen by a doctor. So I went off to urgent care since I couldn’t get an actual doctor’s appointment any time soon.
Fortunately, it seems like most people feel the same that I do and were avoiding the hospital. There were only 3 other people at urgent care (all suspected COVID cases go to a special section of the ER and were not near urgent care). There was still a bit of a wait because they were limiting how many people were inside urgent care and they wanted everything to be ready and clean before a new patient went in. But there was a waiting area outside in the shade so I waited out there.
Once I got inside, things were really quick for me. I was very lucky that the doctor that saw me was familiar with my autoimmune disease (I’ve encountered a lot who didn’t know anything about it) and she was able to confirm that I did have cellulitis immediately after seeing me. And as expected, she wanted me on a course of antibiotics to resolve it. She said that coming in was the right choice because this wasn’t likely to resolve on its own. It was pretty large, and if left untreated, could need IV antibiotics. I’m glad that I just have to take some pills for a week to hopefully make it go away.
I did giggle a bit when she was saying that this was very large as she measured the site being 8cm by 7cm. All that made me think is that while this did look big on my skin, the tumor in my liver was bigger! I know it’s not a perfect comparison, but it still was what my mind went to.
I was able to get my antibiotics at the hospital and started taking them on Monday evening. The doctor said I should notice a difference in a few days and I’m optimistic that it will start getting better by then. I have already noticed a small reduction in the swelling, but the pain is just as bad as it was before. But I feel better even with the same pain knowing that I got checked out and didn’t just try to wait it out and see.
Even though I was worried about going to urgent care, I will say that everyone at the hospital worked hard to make me feel safe about being there. And they were working hard to make sure all the patients were getting seen as quickly as possible. I was grateful for that because I was nervous about having to go in. But they made it as easy as possible for me. And while it wasn’t a fun adventure to my week, at least it changed things up a bit for me.
Posted onDecember 24, 2019|Comments Off on I Guess It’s Good I Have Time Off (or My Body Never Goes Easy On Me)
I’m sorry in advance that this is going to be a shorter post. But hopefully you all understand.
Because of the timing of the holidays this year, I have several days off from work. It’s the longest break I’ve had in a while and I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with my time. I knew I wanted to relax a bit and catch up on some fun things, but it looks like my body had a different idea with how to start things off.
I don’t know exactly what caused this, but it looks like something I ate on Sunday gave me food poisoning. I woke up on Monday, I had very intense stomach cramps. These were similar to the cramps I usually get from my period, but they were much higher up in my body. I’m grateful that they didn’t cause nausea, but they were extremely painful. My body was almost going numb when the pain was the most intense. I tried my best to have a normal Monday (since that’s normally my day off), but it was impossible. I spent almost the entire day sleeping and trying to get through the pain.
I think whatever caused the food poisoning has worked its way out of my system or isn’t affecting me anymore, but I’m still feeling a bit weak. I’m going to spend today continuing to try to recover and I’m hoping that by tomorrow I’ll feel fine. But I know based on how I usually have to deal with pain that I just have to be gentle with myself and do what I need to do. But I’m optimistic that I got over this food poisoning and I’ll be myself by the end of today.
I guess I just need to be grateful that I have today off work as well and have tomorrow free in case I need that time to recover. And I’m glad I didn’t make any big plans for having so many days off because I would hate it if I had to cancel plans or feel like this on a trip. So I guess sometimes these extra days off come right when I need them.
Posted onOctober 4, 2019|Comments Off on Figuring Out My Pain (or Staying Calm While Stressing Out)
I wrote about how I didn’t sleep much before I did the Dri-Tri and how much that affected my finish time. Not sleeping before the workout was a bad decision, but I was hoping it would just screw up my workout. I didn’t think about if it could cause any other issues. And while I don’t know if this story is really connected, I have a feeling that it is.
I know that as you get older, you deal with more random pain. I feel like I am pretty familiar with pain since I deal with it almost every day. But whenever I have new pain, I worry a lot about what happened. Especially when the pain happens to be with my back. Back pain concerns me a lot because I know that it can be connected to my hip issues. And when I was showering after the Dri-Tri, I had something happen in my back that was really concerning.
The pain started as I reached for a towel after my shower, but I know that it wasn’t due to that movement. I really do believe that it is connected to not sleeping and then doing a tough workout. I’m sure that because I was tired, I wasn’t using the best form and I probably was slouching while biking. Bad posture can cause a lot of back pain which is why I try to be very conscious of my posture, especially since I work at a computer for so many hours a day.
Once my back started hurting, it was excruciating. I was supposed to have fun that night at a party to celebrate my friends adopting their daughter. I made it to the party, said hi to my friends, and then had to leave because I was in so much pain just standing up. I hated that I couldn’t be there to celebrate with them, but I knew that I had to take care of myself and make sure I didn’t make whatever happened to my back worse.
I spent the next few days taking some painkillers, using heat and ice, and putting different topical treatments to help with the pain. And then my pain started to shift from my back to my hip. And then I started to panic.
I know that both my hips will need surgeries in the future, but I don’t want to do them anytime soon. Recovering from hip surgery wouldn’t be an easy process and I know that it can take a year or so before I could get back to where I am now. I don’t want anything that prevents me from working out, so I have been careful with my hips. But I also know that I can’t avoid all activities that are potentially bad for my hips so I do take some risks. But I was starting to think that the lack of sleep/crazy workout combination was the thing that finally did the damage to my hip that would require surgery.
Every day that went by, the pain was less in my back and more in my hip. I started to struggle with sleep because I wasn’t able to find a position that I could sleep in and wasn’t painful. I was trying to not panic too much about the pain because I know that not every hip-related pain is about my hip issues. People without the issues I have can get hip pain. It’s not easy to remember that when I’m in pain, but I tried. And it did help that the pain overall was getting better, even if it was more hip-related each day.
Right now, I’m still in pain. It’s a weird, dull pain that doesn’t feel like how I remembered my hip feeling before surgery (that pain was sharper and more like little shocks). I’m trying to remain optimistic that this pain really is just about lack of sleep and the Dri-Tri (or some other innocent reason) and not a sign that I need to have hip surgery. I’m hoping that because the pain has been getting a bit better every day, that even if I did do something to my hip, that it is just temporary. It’s hard to remember sometimes that I am allowed to have normal hip pain and not worry that it’s something serious. And this past week has really tested me in working on not panicking about that.
Posted onAugust 19, 2019|Comments Off on I Hate Having A Hard Workout Week (or Not My Usual Workout Recap)
I normally have a pretty set format for doing these Monday workout recap posts. I do each day as its own recap and I keep things organized. I like having them that way. I only have written these posts a different way once or twice, and this is going to be one of those rare occasions.
I knew going into this workout week that it was going to be the start of my nausea. While the beginning of the week wasn’t that bad for me, I didn’t have the time to do my usual notes on my workout because of how crazy my schedule was. I can look back at some forums that have what the workouts were so I can tell you the basics of what I did, but I don’t remember how I felt or much more than the bare minimum of what I did for the workout. Monday was my usual class with the 2 group class and it was fine. It was nothing extraordinary for me, but it went well.
But Wednesday was when my nausea started and from that point on my workouts suffered. They all had the same issues and it really came down to me just doing what I was able to do. I hate when my nausea gets so bad that it gets to this point, but I am grateful that it’s not this bad every month. This has been one of the rare extreme ones, but when they happen they are pretty brutal.
For my Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday workouts, I had the same plan for the bike. I kept it at my base resistance level and just tried to pedal as much as I could. When the nausea got too much, I stopped and tried to just keep breathing through the nausea until it passed. I’m so lucky that for some reason I don’t throw up when I’m in class. I know that the nausea will pass as long as I wait it out. When the cramps and pain hit, I have to do the same. I take a break and breathe through it. It’s not fun, but it’s the only option I have.
I have a similar plan for rowing. The nausea hits me a different way on the rower. It’s hard to explain the nausea I get on the rower. It’s not worse than what I feel on the bike, just different. It’s almost like a mix of nausea and feeling hungry. But it’s the same plan with having to stop what I’m doing and just having to wait until it passes before I can continue. When the nausea and pain are mild, I can work through it. I only have to stop when it is really bad, but I also think that I have built up my tolerance a bit so maybe I’ll continue to get better at this and I won’t need to take breaks as often.
And on the floor for those 3 days, I tried my best to work hard to make up for what I wasn’t able to do on the bike and rower. If there was something we were supposed to do face down like plank work, I do have to modify it. Typically, that modification is just to use the bench for my hands instead of the floor. Sometimes I have to do something different, but since we do a lot of the same exercises (or the same type of exercises), I’m pretty good and knowing what to do to modify things to make them work for me. But with things that involve weights, I try to go hard when I can. I see that time as something that isn’t affected by my nausea and the moment I can feel like I really am getting my workout in and that I don’t feel so upset about not working hard.
I’ll admit, this past week of workouts was hard to keep my confidence up. There were a lot of things going on (more on that later this week) and I really wanted my workouts to be the escape that they usually feel like to me. But they just were such a struggle for me and I really hated that they felt like a challenge in the wrong way for me. But even with how hard they felt, I never questioned if I should go. Even if I was doing 1% of what I normally do, that’s still 1% more than I would have done if I was sitting on my couch or if I was sleeping in. And I love my routine of going to my workouts and having my days have the same pattern. I am glad that I have found a way to still do something even if it’s not what I am used to.
I’m not sure how this week will go for me. Sometimes when the nausea is really bad in the beginning it can be a bit easier for the rest of the time I usually deal with it. I’m hoping that’s how it goes. But I’m also prepared for it to be just as bad this entire week as well. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.
Posted onJune 7, 2019|Comments Off on Another Downside To My Bad Week (or Just Doing Nothing)
I’m having a bit of writer’s block trying to figure out this post. To be totally honest, I wasn’t sure what I would write at all this week and I’m worried a bit about next week. It’s not that I don’t want to write. I really do. But I hate when I have nothing to write about. And that’s the problem I’m having right now.
Often, the posts I write are about things that happened the week prior. It’s not always like that, but I love when that happens so I can plan. And last week, besides working hard doing the various jobs I have I didn’t do much. I spent the week in pain and nauseous and I did not have motivation to do anything else. I hate when I feel like that, but it’s my reality and sometimes I just can’t deal with it. I try my best not to let that time go by without doing much, but I know that every so often I do need to escape from the world a bit and just want to sit on my couch and do nothing.
Sometimes when my friends and family don’t hear from me for a week they think I’m super busy. That’s what my parents thought when we finally had a phone call. It sucks to have to say that I wasn’t doing something fun and awesome but instead just didn’t feel comfortable enough to be on the phone and spent that time being miserable. I don’t usually share on the phone to people that I’m not feeling good because I’m not looking for pity. Sometimes I do share it when I’m hanging out in person with someone because I know that when nausea hits I don’t look ok. I just want to warn them what’s going on. And while I appreciate when people say they are sorry for me, I don’t want that feeling so I don’t share it when it’s not something I feel is needed.
Even if my friends did reach out to me last week, I don’t think I would have gone out to do anything with them. There are some months when I do feel a bit more up for trying to do something to distract myself. Sometimes I feel like there is a bit more of a pattern to my nausea so I work around it. Or for whatever reason I have extra motivation to just overcome how I’m feeling and I don’t want to let it bring me down. And unfortunately, this time it wasn’t that way and I did a lot of nothing at home.
My doing nothing (besides working like crazy) was mainly catching up on my DVR and Netflix/Hulu and doing some reading. Nothing interesting to really share with you all. And I know I should be grateful that I had the opportunity to do nothing and I have the luxury of not having to work in an office and commute when I feel so horribly. But at the same time, when I reflect back on a week and realize that it was lost to pain and nausea I can’t help but be a little upset.
I know that I could change this blog to not be every day so I don’t stress when this happens, but I still like having it as my motivation to make sure that I try to stay as active in my life as possible. And most of the time, I feel like I do have interesting and fun things to share. But every so often there is the time in my life that ends up being not interesting and filled with non-productive things that leads to posts like this one. But hopefully next week will be more interesting to make up for it.
Posted onMay 16, 2019|Comments Off on Too Many Complaints (or Trying To Get Back To Being Positive)
Lately I’ve been feeling like I have so many negative things in my life. Whenever someone asks me how I’m doing, I have a list of reasons why things aren’t easy. Sometimes it’s being nauseous, sometimes it’s random pain, and sometimes it the aftermath of things I do to stay healthy. I’m not trying to complain just to complain, I’m being honest. I’ve seen how many people just say that they are fine because they don’t want to seem like they aren’t ok. But for me, I take pride in not hiding when I’m struggling or going through a tough time.
But now, it feels like I’m struggling because I’m struggling and it’s becoming a cycle. I don’t go out of my way to complain or find negative things in my life, but they seem to become the focus without me trying. Even when I’m coming up with things to write about on here, when something in wrong in my life that seems to inspire more than when good things happen.
I know I’ve had this issue before and it usually takes me becoming aware to get out of it. Sometimes I forget that being honest doesn’t have to mean sharing everything or that it can’t include good things. And I do have lots of good things in my life that I know are just as important as any of these bad things. But just knowing it doesn’t necessarily help with getting out of this funk or feeling of negativity. It does help to have something else I can try to focus on, but it doesn’t guarantee that it will happen.
And it doesn’t help with the negative things that I’m struggling with are things that I can’t avoid. If I’m in a bad mood because of something I can change, then I can work toward a better mood by changing it. But I can’t control the pain that I’m in. I am finally almost done with dealing with my back issues and the pain is only happening at random and rare moments. But I’m still worried about doing something that will bring it back so I am still being careful. And the pain I have from the temporary crown isn’t going to necessarily go away until I get the permanent one. I tried to get the appointment for that as soon as possible, but it is dependent on when the lab can complete it so I can’t make it sooner. Neither types of pain are something that I have control over or can change just because I want to. I either have to just be in this struggle or find a new way to look at it to get through it.
I don’t have any answers to that right now. I have figured out ways to work through my hip pain or nausea with a better mindset, but that’s because those things don’t go away. I have to deal with them over and over and there is really no other choice for me but to work through. I’m not always in the best mood when dealing with it, but the constant need to do it has helped. Hopefully my back won’t become a recurring issue and I won’t need a lot of dental work coming up. So I’m not sure if I don’t know how to work through these or if I’m not motivated to do the work because I shouldn’t need it again.
I am focusing on my happiness checklist and making sure that I prioritize doing those activities. I am making sure that any plans I make don’t prevent me from doing things that I know will help my mood and put me into a more positive place. And I know doing those do help, but I’m hoping that they will be helping more and sooner since I want to get out of this funk. I am also trying to do more of those things on my checklist each day even though I know I don’t have to do them all every day. But the more good I can put into my life the better.
Hopefully putting all this in writing will help turn things around for me. Sometimes you do just need to get it out to move on. But if it isn’t enough, at least I know it’s something to work on and eventually I’ll be back to my positive self.
Posted onMay 13, 2019|Comments Off on Still Working Through The Pain (or I’m Going To Stay Positive About This)
This past week of workouts ended up being another struggle. As I mentioned last week, I did something to my back and that really threw things off for me. But at least the nausea was gone and I was ready to feel like myself again. That’s not how this past week went, but I think I did end up finding the best in the situation.
Monday’s workout was a strength day and I was ready to be back to normal with my bike work. I was feeling good (this workout was right before my back pain started) and I was excited to see what I was going to be able to do.
The cardio work did include hills, but they weren’t super high inclines. So I was keeping my bike resistance levels close to what I’m used to. We had rounds of hill work and flat road work and each round the incline/resistance level went down by 1. I started 1 level higher than my new all out level and didn’t worry about pedaling too fast. And it felt great when the resistance level was getting back down toward where I’m used to being after having such a high level earlier. When we had our all outs, since I had so much work using resistance levels I decided to have the level at my base level but I pedaled much faster. It was an interesting difference from what I’m used to doing. I don’t know if I’ll do that all the time for my all outs, but it could be something good to have as an option when I have strength days in the future.
On the rower, we had rounds of stroke count work. We started with doing 20 strokes on the rower slowly to get as many meters as possible. Then we had lunges using the medicine ball. Each time we got to the rower we went down 2 stokes. Because I was going so slow, I didn’t get that low with the stroke count. I tried to keep the stroke rate below 16 strokes a minute when with normal rowing I’m usually between 25-30. It is so hard to go that slowly, but I know that was the purpose of that workout and I’m glad I really tried to do it that way.
And on the floor we had 2 blocks and it was a lot of upper body work. The first block had bicep curls but we were balancing on one leg while doing them. That was definitely an added challenge, but I took my time and put my foot down to regain my balance when necessary. We also had tricep extensions on the straps and goblet lunges. And the second block had regular bicep curls, regular lunge, and tricep extensions using the weights. It was interesting to see how I felt between the two blocks since they were essentially the same exercises but different ways of doing them.
Wednesday’s workout was a mix of endurance, strength, and power and because of my back I had to be careful with what I did. I knew that working out wasn’t going to make things worse unless I was careless in what I did in class. Every time I worked on stretching things felt better so I was hoping a workout would do the same. There wasn’t too much I had to modify which was nice, I just had to take things a bit slower.
For cardio, we had 2 blocks with a similar pattern. We started with hill work, then we had a flat road push pace, and we ended with rounds of 30 second all outs with recoveries between. For the hill work, I kept it where my push pace resistance level usually is. I didn’t want to strain too much because I was worried I would put that strain into my back. I did work hard, just not as hard as I would have done if I was feeling ok.
On the rower, we had sprint rows and we were supposed to do power jacks with a medicine ball between each row. I knew that I shouldn’t lift a weight over my head and I didn’t want to have to bend over to grab the medicine ball each time I was going to use it. So I did regular squats instead and that worked just fine for me. We also had all out rows to match with the cardio side when they had them. I was able to do a bit better with those rows because they were so short.
And on the floor, we had one long block. We had front squats with dumbbells, upright rows with dumbbells, double crunches, goblet squats, lateral raises, and swimmers. I had to modify the front squats because I couldn’t hold the weights up that high so I did them as regular squats with weights. I also had to go much lower with the weights for all the exercises. Some of the exercises did use my back so obviously I needed lighter weight for those. But even the goblet squats had to be done with a lighter weight because I just couldn’t pick up the heavier one. Considering what the workout could have been and the modifications I could have needed, I was very happy with the limited modifications I had to do.
Friday’s workout was a mix of strength and endurance work. My back was doing much better than it was on Wednesday, but I still had twinges of pain when I moved certain ways so I had to be careful with what I did and how I moved. Unfortunately, one of the ways I felt pain was when I hunched over to adjust the resistance levels on the bike so I had to be very careful with that.
The cardio work was a mix of push paces at a flat incline and push paces with hills. But because I struggled to adjust the resistance level, I just used my new base pace for the base pace moments and my old push pace for the push paces no matter if there was incline work or not as well as the all out. Limiting it to those 2 levels helped a lot because I didn’t have to adjust things that often. I know that it didn’t make the workout as hard as it should have been, but it did allow me to have very little pain while on the bike.
The rower had 2 blocks with similar patterns. We had 2 rounds of a 200 meter row, 2 rounds of a 150 meter row, and rounds of a 100 meter row. Between each row we had medicine ball exercises. For the first block we had medicine ball ground to presses and for the second block we had medicine ball front raises. But I couldn’t lift a medicine ball that way without having pain. So for both blocks I did squats with the medicine ball. It wasn’t working the same muscles we were supposed to, but the muscles we were supposed to be using were the ones that hurt. And for the rowing, I tried to keep my rows as close to my normal times as possible. I had to be very cautious doing them because I discovered doing the proper form hurt more than doing a sloppy form. So I had to be aware of my body position so I didn’t injure myself a different way by having bad form.
And the floor had a lot of upper body and core work which was a bit tough for me. We also had drop sets which ended up giving me a good chance to test out different weights to see what my body could do while hurting. The first block had drop sets with chest presses and regular sets with bear steps and arm raises. The second block had drop sets with tricep extensions with weights and then regular sets with shoulder presses and sit-ups. I did have to go lighter with my weights for the weighted work, but I was doing better than I had done on Wednesday. And the core work wasn’t as tough as I thought it would be, it was just getting into position that was hard. Getting up and down from the ground was harder than the actual exercises.
Saturday’s workout was an endurance day and fortunately my back was almost totally normal. I’m lucky that I only had to deal with the bad pain for a couple of days, but I’m also aware that if I go too hard that I could injure myself again or the little pains I have could last much longer. So I took that knowledge into my workout to make sure I didn’t do anything too crazy.
For cardio we had lots of push paces to base paces. The base pace always matched the time of the push pace before it, but the block had a lot of variety. We had 2 minute, 90 second, 1 minute, and 30 second intervals throughout the time we were doing the cardio block. We ended with a 1 minute push pace followed by a 1 minute all out. And just like on Friday, the only time I had a bit of pain on the bike was when I had to lean over to change the resistance levels. So I kept it simple like I did the day before. So all the base paces were my new base pace and all the push paces were the old push pace even if they were the shorter ones. Usually I would do the old push pace for the longer ones and the new push pace for the short ones, but it wasn’t worth it for me to worry about the adjustments as much. I did use my new all out pace at the end which helped to end on a good note.
The rowing work was 1 long block. We started with a 2 minute row and then we had medicine ball work. Then we were supposed to reduce the row by 100 meters from what we did in 2 minutes and repeat the pattern. Usually I would use an even number no matter how far I went in 2 minutes, but I decided to do the math in my head each time and do what I actually did. The medicine ball work were squats to overhead raises and calf raises. I didn’t do the overhead raise with the squats and I kept the medicine ball at my chest for the calf raises to protect my back. But I felt like I was doing work much closer to what we were supposed to do.
And the floor block ended up being one of the highlights of the workout for me. The first block was almost all work that involved stepping on the bench. Until last week, I wasn’t able to do any exercises like that and would have to do squats or lunges instead. I still had to modify the actual exercises because I can’t do stepping up and down, but I was still able to use the bench. We were supposed to do step overs with crossing the back leg, step down toe taps, and power step ups. What I did was balancing on one leg while holding the straps for all the exercises. Instead of the step overs I basically did single leg squats with crossing the back leg behind me. For the toe taps and step ups I did single leg squats with keeping the leg I wasn’t using to the side. It’s much closer to the work than what I used to do even with all the modifications. The second block was lunges with bicep curls or uppercuts and side planks, all exercises I could do. I had to be careful with the side planks while I was going from standing to the floor and back, but the actual exercise was not painful or difficult.
There was no way for me to know that this past week was going to be thrown off by my back issues. But I am so grateful that it really didn’t hurt my workouts too much. I did have new modifications to do, but I also was getting a lot of stuff done that I hadn’t been able to do until recently. I think there were more positive things about this workout than negative and that’s awesome! My back is still a little tender and I have a few moments of little pains, but I’m doing so much better and I’m optimistic the trend will continue that way.
One thing I didn’t mention in my post about going to the dentist was about how much pain I was in that day. I’m used to being in pain. It’s a reality of my life. But whenever I have pain that isn’t my normal pain, I swear it throws everything off.
This time, I was having horrible back pain. Somehow, I threw out my back. I know exactly when it happened and that couldn’t be the cause of it. I was pulling back my shower curtain after a shower when I had an intense pain on one side of my back. I could almost picture the spasms my muscle was having and it really shocked me. I have had random back pain from time to time, but I knew this was different.
I was trying to go about my day before going to the dentist, but everything was taking so much longer because I couldn’t move normally. By the time I went to the dentist, the pain wasn’t as sharp but it was still there. I was dealing with a weird dull pain that still felt like my muscles were twitching. Putting any weight on my back made it hurt worse so it was very painful to be laying in the dentist chair. I warned the staff there what was happening so they were allowing me to take breaks when I needed them so I could stretch or make the pain a bit less. But it was annoying and I’ve been trying to deal with this pain for the past few days.
With other pain I have, I know a general timeline of how long it will take to be better or what I need to do to make it stop. This time, I have no clue what to do for either. I also can’t easily use pain cream or KT tape since I can’t reach the area of my back that hurts without making it hurt worse. I’m just trying to do what I can with what I already use for pain. Stretching, using my foam roller and roller balls, and the acupressure mat are helping. I know that this injury is probably just going to take time to go away and I’m working on being gentle with myself.
I was almost laughing at myself when this happened. Throwing your back out seems like something that only happens to older people. But then again, I’m not that young and I already have issues that can potentially make my back worse. I know that with all my hip issues, I have to focus on keeping my core strong or my pelvis can get out of alignment and I know that affects my back. So maybe this injury is a result of hip issues and not old age, but I’m going to assume that it at least has a little to do with age.
From the people who I know have hurt their back this way, there’s nothing I can really do at this point besides be gentle and patient. That’s not the easiest thing for me to do, but I am noticing that things do get better each day. I can lay on my back again which is nice. So I’m trying to do that while reading instead of sitting up or laying on my stomach so that I’m not hunching over or straining my back. I’m trying to just be more aware of how different movement or positions make me feel and try not to push it too much when something is causing me pain. I know I need to push a little each day to stretch and get better, but I’m more aware now about what is good pain versus bad pain with my back. It’s so much easier for me to tell with my hips, but I have to remember that I’ve been dealing with that pain for over 13 years now so I don’t remember what it was like when it started.
And of course, this back issue had to start just after all my nausea ended so I don’t get to enjoy my non-nauseous time the way I’d like to. I’m not going to let it bring me down completely, but it does change up what I am going to do this week and next. I have to make sure that I find the balance of stretching and pushing myself and allowing myself to rest so I can get through this as quickly as possible. And doing that probably won’t involve going out too much since I want to have as much control of my environment as possible.
I already have had so many other signs that I’m getting old like having gray hair. I guess this is just another one and hopefully the last reminder of my age for a while.
Prior to discovering my liver tumors, gallbladder attacks weren’t that unusual for me. In fact, the hospital visit where I randomly discovered the tumors was because I thought I was having the worst gallbladder attack of my life. Once I learned about the tumors and they started to shrink, my gallbladder attacks stopped. I discussed this with my liver surgeon and we think that since my tumors were so big they might have been pressing on my gallbladder and making my attacks worse. I still have gallstones and gallbladder issues, but it’s not anything like it used to be.
My liver surgeon was going to remove my gallbladder when I was supposed to have my tumor surgery. Since that didn’t happen, he said that he would still do both surgeries if I need one or the other. So if I need my gallbladder out, he can take out whatever tumors are still seen. I do feel better that I have a good surgeon because there is a very high chance my gallbladder will come out eventually. But I am in no rush to do it and since I haven’t been having attacks I don’t think about it too much.
But last week, I had my first attack in a long time. I don’t know what food triggered it because I didn’t eat anything weird. And it wasn’t like most of the attacks that I have had in the past. I usually can tell that an attack will be coming a few hours before it hits. I hate knowing that it’s coming, but I guess it’s also nice to have a warning. My attacks usually last a few hours and there are a few tricks I’ve done over the years to help the pain feel a bit less severe and I have some breathing techniques that I’ve used too.
This attack came on very quickly. I had no warning symptoms leading up to it. It just hit me and I was in the middle of an attack before I knew it. I was having the stomach pain, the rib pain, crushing sensation in my body, and overall body sweats within a minute or two of the attack starting. It was the weirdest thing because I am not used to it happening so fast. And I haven’t had an attack in so long that it did take a bit of time for me to realize what was happening. I was scared I was having a heart attack or panic attack and couldn’t calm down. After about 10 minutes, I realized it had to be a gallbladder attack and went to lay down on my bed to try to let it pass.
Since it’s been a while since I have had an attack, I guess I forgot how horrible they are. I was in so much pain and I couldn’t believe that it was so awful. The entire attack was over in under an hour which is much faster than normal for me. So maybe the attack was a condensed attack which made everything worse. Or maybe I just forgot about them since it’s been a while. Either way, I was so grateful when it was over and I was so upset that it happened.
I have no clue if this is the start of all my issues happening again or if this was a random attack. I’m really hoping it was random because I do not want to have to worry about this again. But if they happen as often as they used to, I probably will consider surgery more seriously because there is no reason for me to be in this much pain on a regular basis if it’s easy enough to prevent. I have an MRI in October to check my tumors and they usually check my gallstones too. I’m hoping that I can at least wait until then so I can have an idea if my gallstones are worse than they used to be.
I had been so optimistic about my gallbladder for so long now because the attacks stopped. Maybe I needed the reminder that I still need to be careful and aware of my gallbladder issues and that’s what this was. I really hope that’s what it was and I heard that reminder loud and clear. I do not want to go through another attack again. I know that that’s not necessarily possible, but I at least want a very long break again before I have another one.
Back To Back Medical Issues (or I Guess My Body Gave Me A Sign)
