Tag Archives: hip

I Guess Not All Doctor Appointments Can Be Good Ones (or I Don’t Think I’ll See This Doctor Again)

Posted on November 10, 2022 | Comments Off on I Guess Not All Doctor Appointments Can Be Good Ones (or I Don’t Think I’ll See This Doctor Again)

After having a lot of pain in my back and hips that seemed to not end, I knew it would be smart to see an orthopedic surgeon. I’m still sad that my original orthopedic surgeon isn’t with my insurance anymore because I did appreciate how he never talked down to me and really worked with me to make a plan. I’ve had a few appointments with other orthopedic surgeons since then, but I’ve never really worked consistently with another doctor. So I had to get a new referral, which fortunately was a very simple process. And I got everything all set to see this new doctor.

It turned out that this wasn’t a new doctor to me. I had forgotten that I had an appointment with them a few years ago. If I had remembered that, I might not have gone since I now know I didn’t have the best impression of him. But since I didn’t know that until I was in my appointment, I went into this appointment hoping that I would like this surgeon and that maybe they would be the newest member of my medical team. But instead, I left that appointment feeling pretty certain that I will never see this doctor again and knowing I need to submit a complaint about them.

I know that going in for a random check for an ongoing medical condition isn’t the most normal thing, but when I set up this appointment I was still in a lot of pain. I’m glad the pain is gone now, but I would like to know what was causing it since you really can’t get diagnosed post-pain. Because of how it happened and ended, I feel like it must have been a back issue and not a hip issue. And it might have been something as simple as pulling a muscle. I know there isn’t anything wrong with my spine (based on information I got in this appointment) and there’s nothing else that is obvious. So while I started this appointment explaining that’s why I made the appointment, it was really only for a few moments before we moved on.

This doctor asked me what else was going on and I tried to explain my history with my hips. That’s when the doctor said that they had seen me a few years prior. I then moved on to explain that the pain I had worried me and I knew that I still needed a few surgeries for my hips and that I’ve gone longer than my original surgeon expected me to be able to go. As soon as I said that, this doctor said that they didn’t agree with anything my other doctor said and that I might be in a worse situation because of my first surgery. That really didn’t sit right with me. I knew how much pain I was in before and how that surgery helped. To be told that surgery wasn’t a smart thing to do really contradicts my experience.

And things just continued to get worse. Basically, the rest of the appointment was this doctor telling me I need to lose weight. They implied that if I was in pain now, they wouldn’t even recommend doing any diagnostic testing as they would not treat me until I was at a weight they felt was right for me. I know that there is a fat bias in the healthcare field and I have experienced that from time to time. But it’s usually been from doctors who I won’t see again. For example, once at Urgent Care, the doctor I saw asked me about losing weight when I was there for strep throat. Weight has nothing to do with strep. But with my regular doctors, I usually don’t get weight lectures because they understand that my problems don’t necessarily connect to my weight. But this doctor seemed to not want to discuss anything else.

They could see that I am working on my weight and am working with someone in bariatric medicine, but they were almost hounding me and asking over and over again what I am going to do to lose the weight they think I need to lose (which is also 40 pounds more than what any of my other doctors recommend for me). I kept explaining what I was doing and they just wouldn’t listen or understand that I am working on it. I don’t know what answer they wanted me to give them. They asked what I was going to do and I told them and their response was to ask me what I’m doing. It was so frustrating and I really was ready for the appointment to be over because I could tell that this was going nowhere.

Finally, they did review my x-rays with me and said that I do still have some hip dysplasia on one side (which is a birth defect and completely unrelated to weight) and that there is no sign of arthritis or any other issues. But then it got back to them asking me about my weight and what I would do before they felt like it was too late. I was feeling just over this appointment and was so glad when they ended things with me by saying that if I do have any more pain that I would need to be at the low weight they want me at before they would consider helping me.

I have never had a doctor say that they wouldn’t help me if I didn’t meet their weight requirements. I’ve also never had a doctor who could see what steps I was taking toward losing weight and just ignore them or dismiss my previous efforts. I think that was not right of them. What if I had a lot of pain right now and they refused to help me because of my weight but it ended up being something they could have fixed if they had listened to me before? I follow someone on social media who was dismissed by a doctor when they went in to discuss their pain because of their weight and when they got to another doctor who was willing to work with them, it was discovered they had stage 3 colon cancer. Refusing to help patients because of weight isn’t right. I would have understood if this doctor said that they wouldn’t recommend a hip replacement until I was at a different weight or if they discussed why weight can cause issues with that surgery. But to say they wouldn’t do anything for me unless I lost weight was just awful.

I am working on writing up a complaint about this doctor. I know I wasn’t treated fairly and that they wouldn’t have cared what my complaint was because they wouldn’t see me as a worthy patient until I was at their goal weight. And to have a doctor ignore what I’ve been doing and see that I’m working on weight isn’t fair either. They knew what medications I’m on and what doctors I’m seeing, yet they didn’t care because they wanted me to do something other than what my other doctors recommended and what their plan is for me. I have lost some weight since starting my new medication. I’m down about 3% of my body weight, which I think is pretty good for it just being a month so far. But it could have been 50% of my weight and I feel like this doctor would have been just as dismissive of me.

I’m grateful that the pain I was experiencing is gone for now so I don’t have to worry about seeing this doctor again. And I do want to find a different doctor to work with me because I don’t feel comfortable with this doctor at all. Even if I was at the weight they want me to be, I would still know that they wouldn’t want to help me if I gained weight and got out of the range they want me to be in. I don’t need someone helping me who only wants to help if I match specific things.  Unfortunately, this doctor is the only hip specialist at the hospital I go to. So I would need to find a different medical center to meet someone else. But honestly, I think the drive would be worth it so I’m not treated like this again.

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Another Hip Surgery Anniversary (or Making It To Sweet 16)

Posted on July 8, 2022 | Comments Off on Another Hip Surgery Anniversary (or Making It To Sweet 16)

Yesterday marked 16 years since I had my hip surgery. I didn’t exactly forget about it this time, but I didn’t remember it in time to be able to post about it on here on the actual day. I was in my workout yesterday morning and was thinking about some upcoming events our coach was sharing with us. I was thinking about what day of the week some of those things would be on, and then I realized that day was the 7th and my hip surgery anniversary.

I know that 16 years isn’t exactly a milestone marker, but I think I’m always still in a bit of shock about how well I have done since having that surgery. I was always prepared to have one of the next ones that I would need pretty soon after the first one. My doctors thought I would need at least one more within the next few years. But somehow, I haven’t had to have any other procedures yet. This doesn’t mean I’m out of pain, but I’m not anywhere close to the amount of pain I was in before I had surgery. It’s been a while so I don’t remember exactly how bad the pain was, but I do remember how many painkillers I was on and how much I struggled to walk. And I do remember how little the pain after surgery felt compared to what I was in before.

The pain that I deal with now is a combination of issues with my hips. On the side that was operated on, I am bone on bone. The next surgery I need on that side will be a total hip replacement because there is nothing else they can do to get me out of pain completely. The pain I feel is when my bones hit and when things get out of place. I can’t really describe what that pain is like, but it’s not a sharp pain. It’s a weird dull pain that just feels wrong. But when things get out of place, I do have some tricks to help make that better. On the side that wasn’t operated on yet, the pain I feel is due to the damage that is still there. To remove the damage would make that side be bone on bone, so my doctors said that maybe the next step would just be a hip replacement instead of the surgery I had on the other side. Nothing was really decided or planned since we had no clue how long it would be until I needed the surgeries. And when it came time for them, then we could come up with a plan.

The only plan that was really discussed with me was that the end result would likely be total hip replacements on both sides and that in an ideal world I would not have a hip replacement done before I turned 40. Replacements don’t last forever so the longer you can wait until you get one, the better it is and the fewer future surgeries you might need. And even though I can’t believe my age at times, I’m only about a year away from that milestone birthday. So there is a good chance that I will make it to 40 before having a replacement.

I remember when I had the first surgery 16 years ago that turning 40 seemed like a lifetime away. While I always hoped I would not need surgery before then, I also worried that things would be so bad that I wouldn’t be able to wait that long either. I’m seriously so grateful that while I have dealt with pain, it has never gotten so bad that I considered that I would need a hip replacement. I thought maybe my other side would need that first surgery, but when I had my last exam and x-rays on my hips, the doctors could see some damage but it was not that much worse than what it was like before. And that does make sense since the pain I’ve been feeling over the years has been pretty stable and hasn’t gotten much worse over the years. I have good days and bad days, but they are still pretty similar to what they have been like for a long time.

Next year’s hip surgery anniversary will be right before I turn 40. And as long as things continue the way they have been going, I should still be fine without having to have another surgery before then. And I don’t plan on getting surgery after I turn 40 unless I really need it. My goal has always been to go as long as I could before the next one because that will help me have the best results long term. But it will be nice to know in a year that I have made it to that big goal my surgeon set for me so many years ago.

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Almost Forgot My Hip Surgery Anniversary Again (or 15 Years Down)

Posted on July 9, 2021 | Comments Off on Almost Forgot My Hip Surgery Anniversary Again (or 15 Years Down)

Every year since my hip surgery, I try to remember to celebrate the anniversary of my surgery. The first few years were a little less celebratory because I was still worried that each year that passed meant I was one year closer to the next surgery that was supposed to be necessary soon. But once I surpassed what my hip surgeon predicted I started to celebrate more and more and I didn’t worry about when the next surgeries would be. Even though I know I will still need a few more surgeries, they don’t seem like they are looming over my head as something I will need to do soon.

I rarely forget my hip surgery anniversary, but it does happen sometimes. And this year was one year that I almost forgot. I didn’t remember it until the day was half over and I realized what the day was. And this was a big anniversary because it marks 15 years since I had my hip surgery!

Almost forgetting about my surgery anniversary is a sign that this isn’t as big of a deal in my life as it used to be. But I don’t think I will ever stop thinking about each year being something to be excited about. And 15 years is a big one. In a few years, my hip surgery will be half a lifetime ago for me! But for now, it is a significant chunk of my life ago. And just like any other surgery anniversary, I’m still impressed by how much I have been able to do since surgery.

I’m so happy that I don’t have to deal with as much pain as I had in the past. I do still have pain every day, but most of the time I don’t have to take anything to deal with it from day to day. Compare that to before my surgery when I was maxed out on 2 different painkillers and still in intense pain. Even though I do have to take a painkiller when things get really bad, those moments are rare and I’m not taking something regularly. Sometimes, I can even go several weeks without needing a painkiller. That would have been impossible to think about before my surgery.

I have accomplished so much that I was told may not be possible after having surgery. I know that sometimes I take a few more risks than I should, but I also have decided to not live in as much fear as I used to. I don’t do the things I was warned about the most, such as things that are real fall risks for me, but I do take chances with things that I was told aren’t the best for me to do but also not super dangerous. And this has allowed me to live life a lot fuller than I thought I would be able to.

I do still spend time every day to make sure that I’m taking care of both the hip that was operated on and the other side which will likely be the next surgery. I stretch almost every day (I’m working on being better about doing it every day). I use foam roller balls to help with my muscles since I depend on them to help support my hip joint. I try to move around during the day when I can so I don’t get too stiff. And I make sure that any shoes I get won’t be too hard on my hips. This means I can’t always wear the shoes I want to and I have to be a bit more practical at times, but after dealing with several days of pain from wearing unsupportive shoes, I know that is something important.

With all the issues I have regarding my health and body, I don’t have a ton I celebrate. But this is one that I should celebrate and be proud of. My hips have been able to do things that I didn’t think I could do. Even with all the medical issues and things I was warned about, somehow my body has overcome that and I haven’t had to focus too much on the negative over the past 15 years.

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Only Knowing Some Of The News (or Several Rough Nights Of Sleep)

Posted on March 12, 2021 | Comments Off on Only Knowing Some Of The News (or Several Rough Nights Of Sleep)

I like to think that I’m pretty informed about what’s going on in the world. I know what’s happening with politics and what’s going on with the pandemic. And I pay attention to other news stories as well. But I don’t really watch the news anymore. That used to be a part of my routine in the past, but I haven’t been sitting down to watch the news in the morning in a while. Instead, I tend to get my news from social media. I have a list of news accounts I follow and I can easily see what they post and stay on top of things. And while I might watch some tv news from time to time, it’s not a regular habit.

I probably should be a bit better about knowing the news, especially some local news that I might not see on social media. But I just have been a bit burned out on news over the past year, so I haven’t wanted to add more to my life.

But by missing out on watching the news, I also miss out on a few things that do affect my life. Even though I’m staying home and inside almost all the time, the weather is important for me to know. The actual temperature isn’t that important because my house has poor insulation (so it can be freezing inside my house when it’s not too bad outside for example). But my hip issues get worse when it’s about to rain, so I used to make sure I checked the weather regularly so I could be prepared for that. We haven’t had rain in a long time, so I guess that slipped my mind lately.

But I had been having some really horrible nights of sleep this week. I struggled to fall asleep and when I did fall asleep, I woke up a lot. I have been having a lot more sleep issues over the past year than I normally do, so I assumed it was connected to that. And even though I had some hip pain, that’s not too unusual for me either. I didn’t think about if there was a possibility of rain causing the issues until I woke up the other night and it was pouring rain outside.

I am grateful for the rain because I know we really need it, but I hate that it causes me so many issues. And I hate that because I haven’t been paying attention to the weather and that part of the news that I was unprepared for dealing with this over this week. If I had known it was going to rain, I couldn’t have completely prevented all the pain, but I would have taken steps to make it a bit easier for me. I also just hate the feeling of being unaware that something was going to happen. So little in my life is in my control, and this was just one more thing that was out of my control. And it was my fault that it felt that way.

I know I’m probably overreacting a bit about all this. The pandemic out-of-control feeling is making my hip pain out-of-control feeling that much worse. And the rain looks like it’s done for now, so my hip pain should be getting better over the next few days. And soon enough, I’ll be back down to my regular pain level.

I also know I’m overthinking all of this. I am informed about what’s going on in the world, just not everything. And not knowing the weather isn’t the worst thing. Even when I was going out and doing things, I wasn’t always super aware of the weather. And I don’t know if I need to add another thing to my daily list to check in on. I guess this was just another thing to keep me on my toes during a time when life feels very repetitive and boring.

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Another Hip Surgery Anniversary Down (or I Wonder What The Pandemic Means For My Hip Issues)

Posted on July 7, 2020 | Comments Off on Another Hip Surgery Anniversary Down (or I Wonder What The Pandemic Means For My Hip Issues)

Today marks another anniversary of my hip surgery. It’s been 14 years since my surgery, and I still am amazed that it has been my only hip surgery so far. I was sure that by this point I would have had at least one more. The goal is still to not need a hip replacement for either side for a few more years (the original goal was to be at least 40 when I get them), and I am glad that I have been able to meet that goal so far.

My hip issues have been a roller coaster since they started. I’ve had lots of good days, lots of meh days, and some really bad days. Sometimes it’s the side that was operated on that hurts and sometimes it the side that hasn’t had surgery yet that is causing the issues. When it’s the side that was operated on that is hurting, I’m terrified that I have caused enough damage that I can’t put off a hip replacement. When it’s the other side, I’m scared that I finally tore the cartilage and will need the first surgery. I have seen a doctor that told me that I was doing fine, so I know that when I have those fears that it’s unlikely to be the real issue. But I can’t help but be scared since the original issue seemed to come on so quickly.

With the pandemic, I’ve noticed some good and bad things for my hips. The good is that I’m not doing as much so I don’t have some of the pain I get from being active. I’m not getting tired, which can cause my posture to suffer and I stand funny. And when that happens, my hip that was operated on can almost slip around in my hip socket. I describe it as dislocating my hip, but it isn’t really that. It just can pop out of place and I have to pop it back in. I know it sounds gross, but I’ve been doing this for so long so I’m used to it. And in the past few months, I’ve rarely had to do it since I’m not moving around as much (which I know has its own problems).

But there has been an unexpected issue that is making things harder for me. I rarely leave my house, but when I do it’s usually to go to the grocery store. I try to do grocery delivery when I can, but there are some stores that don’t have delivery options or I need something and can’t get a delivery time. And when I go to the grocery store, there are lines both outside and inside. Standing still in line is really hard on my hips. It can make walking and moving extremely painful. When I’m lined up inside to pay, it’s not as bad because I can usually lean on the shopping cart. But when it’s outside, I just have to tolerate it. I try to keep shifting my body weight to make it better, but there have been times that I got home from the grocery store and needed to take my strongest painkillers to continue on with my day.

I do have a cane, but I don’t like to use it. I probably need to get over that and bring it with me to the store. Or I need to look at the lines at stores and maybe only go when there isn’t a line. I know there are solutions for this issue, I just haven’t really worked on it yet. And even with the bad days I’ve had recently, it’s still better than the mix of good, meh, and bad days that I normally have. I have had significantly more good days than normal. Overall, I think I’m doing better than normal even if it doesn’t feel like that when I’m having a bad day.

I’m probably overdue to see an orthopedic surgeon again to get some x-rays and an exam. Maybe when things are safer and more normal again I will look into making a new appointment. I’m not too worried about it now because I know that even if the worst-case scenario is happening, nothing is urgent and needs to be dealt with immediately. I can wait a bit to make sure I do things when they are best for me.

Hopefully, in a year things will be normal again and I can celebrate the 15th anniversary of my hip surgery feeling a bit more confident about how my hips are doing. Hopefully, I will have a better idea of what my pain issues are really like and not just what they are like during a pandemic and isolation. It’s not easy to celebrate much these days, but I am celebrating making it 14 years since my hip surgery without needing another one. That’s not something I expected to happen and it’s amazing that it did.

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Figuring Out My Pain (or Staying Calm While Stressing Out)

Posted on October 4, 2019 | Comments Off on Figuring Out My Pain (or Staying Calm While Stressing Out)

I wrote about how I didn’t sleep much before I did the Dri-Tri and how much that affected my finish time. Not sleeping before the workout was a bad decision, but I was hoping it would just screw up my workout. I didn’t think about if it could cause any other issues. And while I don’t know if this story is really connected, I have a feeling that it is.

I know that as you get older, you deal with more random pain. I feel like I am pretty familiar with pain since I deal with it almost every day. But whenever I have new pain, I worry a lot about what happened. Especially when the pain happens to be with my back. Back pain concerns me a lot because I know that it can be connected to my hip issues. And when I was showering after the Dri-Tri, I had something happen in my back that was really concerning.

The pain started as I reached for a towel after my shower, but I know that it wasn’t due to that movement. I really do believe that it is connected to not sleeping and then doing a tough workout. I’m sure that because I was tired, I wasn’t using the best form and I probably was slouching while biking. Bad posture can cause a lot of back pain which is why I try to be very conscious of my posture, especially since I work at a computer for so many hours a day.

Once my back started hurting, it was excruciating. I was supposed to have fun that night at a party to celebrate my friends adopting their daughter. I made it to the party, said hi to my friends, and then had to leave because I was in so much pain just standing up. I hated that I couldn’t be there to celebrate with them, but I knew that I had to take care of myself and make sure I didn’t make whatever happened to my back worse.

I spent the next few days taking some painkillers, using heat and ice, and putting different topical treatments to help with the pain. And then my pain started to shift from my back to my hip. And then I started to panic.

I know that both my hips will need surgeries in the future, but I don’t want to do them anytime soon. Recovering from hip surgery wouldn’t be an easy process and I know that it can take a year or so before I could get back to where I am now. I don’t want anything that prevents me from working out, so I have been careful with my hips. But I also know that I can’t avoid all activities that are potentially bad for my hips so I do take some risks. But I was starting to think that the lack of sleep/crazy workout combination was the thing that finally did the damage to my hip that would require surgery.

Every day that went by, the pain was less in my back and more in my hip. I started to struggle with sleep because I wasn’t able to find a position that I could sleep in and wasn’t painful. I was trying to not panic too much about the pain because I know that not every hip-related pain is about my hip issues. People without the issues I have can get hip pain. It’s not easy to remember that when I’m in pain, but I tried. And it did help that the pain overall was getting better, even if it was more hip-related each day.

Right now, I’m still in pain. It’s a weird, dull pain that doesn’t feel like how I remembered my hip feeling before surgery (that pain was sharper and more like little shocks). I’m trying to remain optimistic that this pain really is just about lack of sleep and the Dri-Tri (or some other innocent reason) and not a sign that I need to have hip surgery. I’m hoping that because the pain has been getting a bit better every day, that even if I did do something to my hip, that it is just temporary. It’s hard to remember sometimes that I am allowed to have normal hip pain and not worry that it’s something serious. And this past week has really tested me in working on not panicking about that.

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My Hip Surgery Anniversary (or Lucky 13)

Posted on July 10, 2019 | 1 comment

I’ve written about my hip surgery on here plenty of times. And I’ve written about the anniversary of my surgery as well. I know it’s something that happens every year, but it still always amazes me when another year passes and I haven’t run into the issues that I am worried about. Before I had my surgery, I knew that I would eventually need a total hip replacement on the hip that was operated on. I didn’t find out until after my surgery that I would likely need the same 2 surgeries on my other hip. I knew that my surgeon wanted to try to wait until I was at least 40 before I had a replacement, but I don’t think he was too optimisic about that. And I was told that I would need the first surgery on my other hip within a few years.

Every surgery anniversary I had I was so happy that I hadn’t needed any other surgeries yet. I was extremely cautious with what I did for a long time becuase I was scared I would do something that would make me need the surgery sooner. I don’t know if it’s because of how careful I’ve been or just luck that has kept my hips in the condition they are in, but whatever it is I’m grateful for it. I don’t want to have any more surgeries. I know that the chance of no more surgeries is extremely unlikely, but I’ve been beating the odds with so many things lately so maybe my hips will be the same.

I have beaten the odds in many ways already with my hips. I was told there were several things that I might not be able to do again, or at least not until I have a hip replacement. I have been most proud of regaining my flexibility after the surgery. It’s still not exactly how it was before, but it’s so close that I think I’m probably the only one who could notice the difference. And I’ve worked on my flexibilty more over the years so many I’ll regain that last little bit one day. The other things I have done that my surgeon didn’t think I could do aren’t as important to me as my flexibility, but it always makes me happy when I know I am doing something that I was told I couldn’t.

I do still have to be careful with a few things because I am at a higher risk for a hip fracture than most people. So anything with a high risk of falling like skiing or skating are really off-limits for me. I could push myself to do them and just try to be careful, but it’s not worth it to me to try. As much as I miss skiing, it’s not worth risking a fracture. There are a few other things that are high fall risks that I have debated about doing, but so far I’ve been avoiding those because I know they are riskier than the other chances I’ve taken with my hips.

This past Sunday marked 13 years since I’ve had my hip surgery. I have easily surpassed the expectations of my surgeon regarding when I’d need my next surgery as well as what I can do. 13 years of beating the odds is pretty amazing. I don’t know if when I had my surgery if I thought about how my life would 13 years later. I probably thought I would have limited movement like I did right before and right after my surgery. But in so many ways, I’m able to do more physically now than I could before the cartilage tear. I know there is no way I thought that would happen.

I do have some issues that didn’t exist for me before the tear happened. I have pain that never existed for me before. The pain is much better than it was right before surgery, but it’s still pain that I deal with every single day. And sometimes the pain is almost as bad as it was before surgery and I struggle to move and walk. Fortunately, that pain isn’t that often and normally it’s much duller and less intense pain that I have each day. And I’m starting to notice signs that the cartilage in my other hip might be starting to tear. I’m not going to worry about it until I have a lot of pain because it’s not easier for a surgeon to operate on me now versus once it’s torn. And the damage is already bad enough that there’s not much they could do to save the cartilage like I was hoping would be possible. When the pain gets frequent and intense in my other hip, I’ll look into my options more. But for now, I know my best option is to wait unless there is a reason I want to have surgery sooner.

As much as I hope that the next surgery will be 13 years away, I know that realistically that it will be sooner. But that isn’t going to stop me from continuing to surpass expectations and do everything I can even though I was told I might not be able to do so. And maybe having that attitude will help me get as many more years in before that next surgery. But every year that passes gives me more hope for what can happen after the next surgery. I had no clue I’d be doing this well 13 years later. I have no way of imagining what will be 13 years after the next surgery.

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Pain Distracts From Other Pain (or The Rain Isn’t Too Bad This Time)

Posted on February 15, 2019 | Comments Off on Pain Distracts From Other Pain (or The Rain Isn’t Too Bad This Time)

LA is pretty spoiled with our weather, but lately we have had multiple storms hitting us with several days of rain. I know the rain is a good thing and LA and the entire state needs it, but I also miss our normal sunny weather. It is true that so many LA drivers have no idea how to drive in the rain and the roads can be scary with people driving crazy. I also don’t love having to do my errands in the rain like my laundry because I don’t want to get an umbrella out just to cross my driveway nor do I like being wet. I’m aware that this is not a great quality that I have, but I blame it on not having to deal with rain often while growing up. I missed creating good rainy weather habits and skills.

But the main thing I dislike about the rain is that is usually causes me quite a bit of hip pain. I’ve been dealing with this since I had my hip surgery, and I was expecting it to happen after the surgery. I know that people who have broken bones have issues with pain during the rain, and my hip surgery basically caused a broken bone on the top of my femur. The pain can be pretty bad sometimes and make me even less motivated to get out of my house and do anything.

Fortunately, with how infrequent the rain is here, I don’t deal with this too often. And when I do, I’m usually grateful to have a day that is requiring me to slow down and be lazy. I know I can forget to take time for myself sometimes, and having this days of pain are a reminder to take care of myself and that sometimes it’s ok to not do anything. I also continuously am grateful that I work from home because my days of pain don’t affect my ability to work. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to be in an office for work and how I would deal with the pain. I remember it occasionally being an issue at past jobs, but I also think I was taking painkillers more often than I do now.

Sometimes the pain isn’t too bad and I’ve been lucky that I haven’t had a lot of horrible days with all the recent storms. Maybe it’s because there have been so many storms back to back so my body doesn’t have to deal with as many weather fluctuations. Or maybe with the back to back rain it just gets easier to deal with (or I’m getting more used to it). But the other idea I have is that right now it isn’t as bad because I have other pain going on and it’s distracting me.

The pain in my face has been getting better every day, but it’s still not great. My jaw looks and feels very swollen and it’s not easy to do a lot of things. I’m slowly introducing soft foods back into my diet after being on liquid things only for a few days. I also am starting to notice some bruises around the incision and I think that’s probably a good sign of this healing nicely. I’ve got a few more days with the stitches in and I’m ready for them to be out. They are weird and I am very paranoid that things aren’t going right with them. But I know I’m fine and just acting crazy.

Pain is never fun for me, but it is a regular part of my life. I don’t know if that will ever change and I don’t expect it to. I just get to learn how to be better at managing it. And this time, my pain management is other pain and I am getting a kick out of that. I don’t know how often I’d be hoping for pain, but it’s a nice thing for me right now. And hopefully by next week, I’ll be out of pain because both the rain is done and my face will be more healed. I’m a little worried about pain after the stitches come out, but I know that it will probably be much easier than the pain I had when they went in. And then I can focus on making the scar fade as quickly as possible!

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Surgery Anniversary (or I Guess It’s Good I Almost Forgot)

Posted on July 11, 2017 | Comments Off on Surgery Anniversary (or I Guess It’s Good I Almost Forgot)

Last week was the 11th anniversary of my hip surgery. In some ways, it feels like this was a lifetime ago. In other ways, it feels like it was only maybe a year or two ago. I still think all the time about my surgery and what else I might need to have coming up, but it’s not as huge of a focus of my life as it’s been before. That could be because I have other medical issues that are a bit more important right now. But whatever the reason, I was thinking so little about my hip surgery that I almost completely forgot the anniversary of the surgery.

I actually ended up remembering on the day of. Usually, I think about it leading up to the day and then acknowledge it the day of. This time, I was working and all of a sudden looked at the calendar with a shock thinking I had totally forgotten about my surgery anniversary. It was almost a sense of relief that I didn’t totally forget and could still say something about it being 11 years later. But it’s crazy to think that I easily could have had the entire day go by without remembering it.

I’m no longer thinking of milestones the same way with my hips. Before, it was just trying to do better than my surgeon’s predictions. There are still potentially 3 more surgeries I could need, and he felt like I would not be able to make it this long without having another surgery. I’ve completely surpassed that prediction so I’m not thinking too much about it. Now, it’s the goal that he got in my head that it would be ideal if I could avoid getting a hip replacement until I’m 40.

The problem with hip replacements are that they don’t last forever. You do need to replace the replacement, and sometimes that can be every 10 years. Each time you replace them, that’s another pretty major surgery. So to wait until I’m 40 would limit how many times they would have to replace them. Ideally, I’d like to avoid hip replacements completely but I’m aware that it’s not necessarily the most realistic goal. So I just want to stay on the plan to not need a replacement for at least another 6 years.

I’m still doing most of the things my surgeon told me to do to keep my hips as healthy as possible for as long as possible. I’m not doing things that are risky for me falling and potentially breaking my hip like skiing or skating. But I am running now and I know that it’s not the best thing for me to do. But I’ve come to a place where I’ve realized that maybe I need to be a bit riskier with my hip health to keep me happy and healthy. I can go without skiing forever if I have to, although I have been wishing I could do it again. But now that I’ve started to run, I’ve realized that I can’t drop it like I dropped other stuff. I haven’t been feeling any extra pain with running and until I know that it’s causing harm I don’t feel like I need to stop.

I’ve also realized that if I want to live in a protected little bubble to prevent future surgeries, I could do that. But I’ve lived in fear of needing my next hip surgery soon for too long and I don’t want to have it hold me back anymore. I think that I’ve grown so much as a person over the past year or two and I don’t want to stop making that progress. So if I have to take a few extra chances in my life with my hip, so be it. Also, worst case scenario is that I need to get a hip replacement before I’m 40. That’s not the end of the world and I’m still doing much better than my surgeon expected me to do.

Even though I almost forgot my surgery anniversary this year, I think that I’m going to think of it every year and remember how far I’ve come in that time. 11 years is a long time (1/3 of my lifetime!) and I know that there was no way for me to know that I would be in the place that I am now back then. I was in so much pain before surgery and I’m so grateful that I haven’t had to experience that again since waking up after the surgery was done. I was looking back at the photos my parents took of me right after I got out of the hospital (which was only about an hour or so after surgery) and the smile on my face is just so huge. I know the smile then represented getting through surgery and not being in pain anymore. But now, it represents a new beginning to my life and being able to do things that I never dreamed I’d be able to do.

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Accepting Some Help (or Hope This Helps The Pain)

Posted on September 2, 2016 | Comments Off on Accepting Some Help (or Hope This Helps The Pain)

After my super full day at Disneyland this week, I was in a lot of pain. The pain was happening while I was walking around the parks, but sadly I’m used to that. It was getting pretty bad close to the end of the night, but that didn’t seem too weird to me since I was at the parks a lot longer than I usually am.

When my hips start hurting (especially the one that has had surgery on it already), things don’t usually get better that day. For some reason, no matter what painkiller I take during the day, things don’t stop hurting until after I sleep that night. Sometimes the pain continues the next day, but usually when I wake up the next morning things are a lot better.

My friend June is used to seeing me limp toward the end of our Disneyland days, but I think this might have been the first time Dani saw me limping. It can be shocking when I’m doing fine in the beginning of the day and by the end of the day I have trouble taking steps. I’m sure that both of my friends were concerned about me and while we were eating our late dinner they discussed some options with me for future Disneyland days.

I’m pretty vocal about not wanting to use a wheelchair or scooter at Disneyland. A wheelchair would be annoying to push (or have a friend help me push) and I don’t want to be on a scooter because it’s bad enough being judged for my weight now and I can’t imagine how bad it would be if I was on a scooter. Plus, I enjoy walking and it’s good for me to get those steps in during the day. I’ve been on crutches at the park before right before I had my surgery, and it’s not fun to have to use some sort of assistance there.

But the pain this time was so bad that I was more receptive to my friends suggesting that maybe I look into something that could help me. I know that they were saying it because they care and I appreciate that they do want to see me enjoy the end of my day when I go to Disneyland.  And the idea that they came up with is maybe I should look into getting a cane so I can take some pressure off of my hip as I walk.

I definitely didn’t love the idea at first. I know that there are so many articles about how people ignore those with invisible disabilities, but I’ve enjoyed not having my issues known as soon as someone sees me. I like to appear to be normal and if I start to limp eventually then I can always explain the situation. But to have a cane with me would give attention to my problem and I don’t know if I want that to happen.

But the reality is that maybe I do need some help with walking on long days like that. This doesn’t mean that I’ll use it all the time (even at Disneyland), but it could be nice to have as an option when I’m hurting. And I know that things will likely only get worse until I have the next surgery (or surgeries) I need so there may be a time where I need the cane more often and it’s probably best to get used to it sooner rather than later.

So the day after Disneyland, I did some searching online and found a pretty inexpensive cane that can be folded up so it fits into my backpack when I don’t need to use it. It arrived yesterday and it is pretty easy to unfold and fold back up. I took a few steps around my house using it and it’s not horrible to use. It’s totally easier than using crutches (those hurt my arms and armpits so much when I had to use them) so I think it won’t be too painful when I do use it. And of course my friends offered to decorate it for me since I got a plain cane (the fancy decorative ones were double or triple the cost).

This isn’t a decision I’m totally happy with, but I know that in the long run it will be the best for me. Even if I don’t end up using the cane the next time I go to Disneyland, it will be nice to know I have it as an option if walking is starting to hurt too much. And hopefully I do feel more comfortable with my hip issues being out there to the public so the cane won’t feel as embarrassing to use.

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