Tag Archives: health issues

Celebrating My Mom (or She Hit A Big Milestone)

Posted on July 11, 2018 | Comments Off on Celebrating My Mom (or She Hit A Big Milestone)

It’s been a long time since I’ve written about my mom’s cancer on here. And that’s for a good reason. My mom had surgery, chemo, and radiation and she was declared cancer-free after her treatments. She still has sporadic appointments to get checked out and for other things, but she hasn’t needed any further treatments beyond her original treatment plan!

When my mom was originally diagnosed, there was a lot of information coming at us to understand what all of this meant. Even though my entire family is in medicine, cancer was a new things for us all and there was so much that we didn’t know. And there was plenty that my parents knew that they didn’t necessarily tell me. We never discussed survival rates because we also knew that it really didn’t mean much. I’ve had medical situations that were 1 in a million so even if the survival rate was 1% my mom could be the 1% that survives (I think it’s really closer to 75% but I’m not too sure).

The one thing that we did know was that getting to the 5 year mark was important and a good sign. We didn’t realize that the anniversary date is from the date of diagnosis before my mom got treatment. I guess I always figured 5 years cancer free means 5 years from when doctors declare you cancer-free. But it’s really a 5 year survival marker which is 5 years of surviving past diagnosis. It makes sense thinking about it now, but I remember at first that it was a weird idea.

Well, today marks 5 years for my mom! It seems like forever ago that my mom was diagnosed and that I felt so overwhelmed by the news. I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I found out from my mom. It was a day that for several hours I wondered if I imagined hearing the news. And I had an event to go out to that night that I really couldn’t skip out on and I felt so weird trying to put on a happy face. I remember sitting at home with a friend the day my mom had surgery (she didn’t want me to come up because there would be delays in the surgery schedule) and waiting on the news that she was out of surgery and it went well. I was so surprised when it was my mom who Facetimed me and my friend and I both told her how amazing she looks after surgery. Her hair looked better coming out of surgery than my did that day!

I remember seeing my mom’s scar for the first time and the first time I saw her without her hair and her wig. I rarely saw her without her wig, but she did show it off to me once. And I remember celebrating every milestone that she hit like when she was done with chemo and when she was done with radiation. And now I get to celebrate her again!

The 5 year mark is a big one but it’s not a guarantee. My mom will always be at risk for the cancer coming back, but it’s much less likely now that she made it 5 years. It’s a milestone that I know we have all been looking toward for so long. Even though in a way it doesn’t matter because she has been fine since her treatments, I’ve been waiting for the 5 year mark so that I could breathe a little easier. Somehow now, it seems more likely that we won’t have to worry about this any more. I know things can change, but this feels like we don’t have to think about it as much.

I have had several friends in the past 5 years get a cancer diagnosis and I know they are all looking toward the 5 year mark. And while all of my friends have been amazing how they’ve handled things and almost all of them have completed their treatments, my mom is still the most incredible person I know who has gone through treatments. The way she handled herself and was able to support our family as well when we were all having tough moments is so inspiring. I know that even with me dealing with my non-cancerous tumors, I wasn’t as amazing as she was and I wasn’t dealing with anything nearly as serious.

I guess the next milestone would be 10 years cancer-free, but that’s never been something I’ve really thought about as far as my mom not having to worry about cancer anymore. Getting to 5 years has been something we’ve all talked about for so long and it’s such a relief that my mom has made it. While I haven’t thought about her cancer for a while, it has been in the back of my head. Now, I can just relax and keep feeling reassured that she is fine and that cancer is in her past.

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Default ThumbnailAnother Mom Update (or Almost All Done) Default ThumbnailSocial Media Reminders (or Another Thing To Celebrate) Default ThumbnailMom Update (or Two Steps Done, Two More To Go) Default ThumbnailF#*k Cancer (or Proof That My Mom Is A Badass) Default ThumbnailVacation At Disneyland (Celebrating My Mom’s Badassness) Default ThumbnailLong Layover Visit (or Celebrating With My Mom In Person)

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A Medical Afternoon (or Getting In All My Regular Checkups)

Posted on July 5, 2018 | 3 comments

I’ve been dealing with some female health issues lately. Some of it I’ve discussed on here, and some I haven’t. The things I haven’t shared on here are nothing too bad, but I’ve just been dealing with some recurring issues with my body not reacting normally when I have my periods each month beyond the nausea. I’ve joked to a friend that my body is allergic to when I have my period because my skin freaks out a bit and I have some other weird symptoms. But I know that’s not it. And I was managing it and handling it on my own until recently when I realized that I needed to stop treating myself and actually get checked out.

I usually schedule annual appointments around my birthday so I don’t forget about them, but I didn’t want to have to wait another month or so to figure out what’s happening with me. So I went in to see my OB/GYN (who does almost all my annual health checks and orders the tests I need to do) this week and it ended up being a longer appointment than I expected.

I’m very lucky that I have an amazing doctor. She was trained by my dad so she’s known my family for a while. And besides her being super educated and a great doctor she is also really easy to talk to. I don’t have to feel shame about any concerns I have or feel like she is going to judge me. More often than not I am comfortable enough around her that we can joke about things that others might feel like they could be judged for. It is so helpful to have a doctor you can be totally open with and know that you are going to be taken care of.

First, I did bring up all the nausea issues I’ve been having and what other options there are out there. I was prescribed a new anti-nausea medication that I can try when things are really bad, but I also got a refill for the medication I’ve been on since on the not-so-bad days it does help. It would be amazing if I never needed the stronger medication, but it’s nice to know I have a new option if I do need it.

Then we went over the normal things that are discussed in an annual appointment. I got all the standard tests that I needed plus a few others to see if we could figure out what’s been wrong with me. Some of the tests had a quick turnaround, but there are others that are going to be much more detailed and those may take a month or so to get the answers. Nothing is so bad that I can’t wait for the answers and I’m willing to wait because I do want to know what’s going on.

Finally I got all the other tests that I needed ordered put into the system. My OB/GYN works out of a medical office and not the big hospital, but they do have a lab and a few other departments there. So after my blood work tests were ordered I was able to just walk down the hallway to do that. I didn’t faint (yay!), but because we were doing some more tests than just my standard ones there were 5 vials of blood taken instead of the usually 2. I just kept my eyes closed while I was there and focused on breathing while the vials filled.

I also had a mammogram ordered since I didn’t have one last year. I’m still younger than the age when you need to start getting them each year and my doctor and I haven’t really figured out the best plan for me since I will also probably need MRIs as well, but we are working on the plan together. I also am not as high of risk as other people with a family history of breast cancer since my mom was older when she was diagnosed. But I’d rather be on top of screenings than not get them and realize there is something wrong when it’s too late. I could have scheduled my mammogram at the medical offices, but the hospital is actually closer to my house so I’m going to be going there again.

And after all that, I still had one more stop at the pharmacy at the office to get all the prescriptions filled. I had 4 different things I was getting and because that was considered a large order they had to take a while to get everything together. I didn’t mind since I had my Kindle with me and I could just wait there reading. They originally told me it would take an hour, but it was only about 35 minutes until everything was ready for me.

Since my appointment, I did get a call from my doctor saying that all my tests (except the few that will take time) came back normal. That’s good and bad news. I’m glad there is nothing wrong with me, but I know there is something up and we just don’t know what it is. The more detailed tests won’t necessarily give us an answer because they are testing for more specific things that the quick tests tested for. But you never know so I can still wait on those. But now the plan is to see if the symptoms return and if they do my doctor is going to find a way to see me that day so she sees me when things are affecting me. There is also the possibility that whatever was in my body has left naturally and I won’t have any issues soon. But that will just be a wait and see game.

While it can be frustrating and annoying to have things wrong with you and to spend an afternoon doing medical stuff, I’m not too bothered by it. Obviously I would love to be in perfect health and not have any medical mysteries, but at least I have a great doctor who wants to help me and is willing to order different tests to figure out what is happening. To me, knowing that I’m working on figure it out is a relief and I’m glad that I have the ability to see my doctor when I need to. And at least now I’ve got all the other annual things my OB/GYN would order so I don’t have to worry about those for another year.

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Default ThumbnailHoping For Some Normal (or Fingers Crossed That This Was This Easy) Default ThumbnailFinding Some More Control (or How Medical Stuff and Dating Stuff Are Alike) Default ThumbnailAnother Medical Afternoon (or At Least This Was Easy) Default ThumbnailMore Medical Stuff (or My First Biopsy) Default ThumbnailSome Random Medical Tests (or At Least Getting Blood Work Was Entertaining) Default ThumbnailA Non-Surgery Anniversary (or Another Year Of Being A Medical Miracle)

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It Can Be Tough To Get Help (or Trying To Be A Good Friend To My Friends)

Posted on June 14, 2018 | Comments Off on It Can Be Tough To Get Help (or Trying To Be A Good Friend To My Friends)

It wasn’t that long ago that I wrote about depression and how a few of my friends were going through very tough times. I had some friends who had tried to kill themselves and fortunately they were no successful in it so they could get help. Even though I always have made myself available to my friends if they need someone to talk to, they didn’t necessarily reach out to me before they tried to end their lives. I know this is a very selfish thought, but I was angry at them for not calling me so I could help them.

With the recently celebrity suicides in the news, a lot of people are wondering why Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain wouldn’t have asked for help. They had so many people in their lives who cared about them and would have been there for them. Everyone is always saying that if you need help that you should ask for it. But I’ve learned from what my friends experienced that it’s not that simple. If they are in a head space to ask for help, they will do that. But because mental illness can make you think untrue things are fact, they sometimes have said that they believed that they weren’t worthy of getting help or that none of their friends would have helped.

As much as I want to convince them that those statements aren’t true, I know that I can’t necessarily change their minds. I can tell my friend every day that they are a worthy and amazing person and they might still have the voice in their head saying that I’m lying to them and that they’re worthless. I can’t force mental illness to go out of someone’s mind by my positivity, despite how hard I try to do that. I wish I could make that true, but it can’t always be true when someone is in a deep depression.

It can feel like there is no way to help a friend if they won’t reach out to you when they need the help. I have struggled with figuring out how to be a good and supportive friend when it feels like the support isn’t enough or doing the trick. But after the suicides last week, more and more people are being open about their battles with mental illness and there have been some commonalities with the stories with what has helped.

So many people have shared how they were very close to killing themselves when a friend randomly called or texted them. Sometimes people were reaching out to them to make plans, and sometimes it was just to share a stupid story or meme they found online. Whatever it was, that contact was enough to snap them out of the mental illness fog they were in and realized that they needed to get help because they weren’t safe. I’ve personally experienced that with a friend. They were about to kill themselves when they got a text from another friend. I don’t know what the content was of that text, but my friend ended up calling me while they were driving to the hospital to be checked in. They snapped out of it and were able to be admitted to the hospital to get the help they needed.

We can’t always be constantly checking in with our friends when we know they are struggling, but we can all make more of an effort to be better friends and to remember to just say hi via text to friends every so often. That’s a good thing to do for friends with mental illness as well as friends who don’t. It helps you stay connected to friends when it’s so easy to let months go by without talking to a friend. When you see them posting on social media, it can seem like you’ve been in touch when you really haven’t. I’m guilty of this quite a bit and I’ve been working on fixing it. And now I have a bigger reason why I need to fix my bad habits.

Of course, if you need help and know you need it, there are many ways you can do that. If you have a friend you can reach out to so you can make sure that you can be safe, do that. If you don’t have that or can’t do that, you can call 911 or drive to a hospital to get help. And there is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline that you can call or text to talk to someone.

While this might not sound like good news, but the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has reported a significant increase in calls in the past week. But that is good news because people are getting the help that they need by a trained professional. Hopefully they are able to find all the resources that they need to continue to get help and they will be able to get through this. It takes such a strong person to not only admit they need help but are able to take action to get the help they need.

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Being A Bit Paranoid (or Trying To Believe I’m Not Having More Health Issues)

Posted on June 13, 2018 | 1 comment

My body has been such a mess lately. It seems like something has been wrong with me for several months (when in reality it’s most like 5-6 week) and I just can’t be healthy. I’m aware that the cold I got is going to stick with me for a bit longer and that’s a little annoying. But I do see progress every day that I’m getting a bit better. I just can’t wait until I am not coughing all day and I feel like I can breathe normally again.

Right before I got sick, I had a bladder infection (which came right after feeling nauseous). It was cured pretty quickly with antibiotics and I was grateful that I don’t get them that often. They are pretty bad and because I didn’t want to have to take unpaid time off work I had to wait several hours after my symptoms started to get to the doctor for the medication. I had to wait until getting to the doctor to take any over the counter medications that make things less painful so I could be properly diagnosed, but as soon as I finished at the doctor I took everything I could to make it go away.

But then the other day, I was feeling off and couldn’t place what was wrong. Then I started feeling like I needed to go to the bathroom constantly and was terrified that I had another bladder infection. I thought it would be so strange to have another one but I was not willing to take the risk and wait it out. So I called the nurse line to talk to someone and see if I could get a prescription quickly.

With the nurse line, they can call you back when it’s your turn so you aren’t on hold for a while. The wait time was about 2 hours and the entire time I was waiting I was drinking as much water as I could. I know that you can’t always flush it out of your system, but I was going to try it because that’s all I could do while I was waiting. When I finally spoke to the nurse, my symptoms were slightly better but she still felt like it would be best for me to take the antibiotics again.

So I got into the car and drove to Kaiser. As I drove there I realized that I felt pretty much normal again and that maybe I overreacted. But I still wanted to get the prescription in case this was just a temporary break. I went to the pharmacy to order them and then walked into the hospital to use the bathroom. And when I walked in, I will say I was super creeped out by how empty it was inside.

I’ve never seen the lobby with no people inside. There was nobody waiting, no staff at the desks, and nobody walking around. The hospital was open and I have no clue why there was nobody inside. But since I was weirded out I quickly used the bathroom and headed back to the pharmacy to pick up the medication.

By then, I was feeling totally normal and a bit silly for doing all this. If I had just waited it out, I would have been fine. Of course, there was no way to know that when I called to talk to the nurse and I’d rather overreact and not do anything and make the situation much worse. I know a bladder infection can turn into much more serious conditions and I don’t want to cause that to happen.

While I did get the medication, I’m not going to take it right now. I’d rather not take antibiotics that I don’t need. I’m going to keep them because I still am a bit paranoid that this is only a temporary break from the issue and that it’s going to come back and get worse. I feel the same way about my tumors. When I found out they shrunk, I was so sure that it wasn’t real and that they would grow again. When I had my scan last October, I was certain that I wasn’t going to get good news. Fortunately I was wrong about that.

I think that it’s just my nature to be paranoid about things like this when I’ve already had to deal with them. I’m not really worried about medical conditions that I haven’t had personally (or have had close family have). I’m not worried about all the new diseases and conditions you read about in the news. I’m only worried about repeats of what I had or that something that is supposed to be getting better is really getting worse. I’m glad that I was wrong this time and I was fine, but I’m still worried that in a week I’ll be writing about how this post was wrong.

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This Cold Really Took Me Down (or Several Days Of Doing Nothing)

Posted on May 15, 2018 | 6 comments

I wrote a very short post on Friday about being sick. I wrote that when I was so sick that I can’t believe the post had coherent sentences. I don’t get sick that often (although I was surprised looking back at old blog posts that I was sick last fall) and this cold I caught was possibly one of the worst ones I’ve had as an adult.

One of the weird things about this cold was I know exactly when I was exposed to the germs. I was on a date on Monday and the guy I saw told me on Tuesday that he was sick. So I knew the day I caught it was Monday. I could look at these different timeline things online about what symptoms to expect each day of being sick which I usually don’t look at. And since I wasn’t feeling off until Wednesday, I missed the first few days of the cold.

Thursday morning when I woke up, I almost passed out trying to stand. If I had to drive to a job, there would have been no way I could have worked. I barely made it from my bedroom to my desk. I have no idea how I managed to work on Thursday, but I did. And as soon as I was done with work, I took a 4 hour nap and then got ready for bed and went to sleep. Friday was just as bad if not worse. I was feeling like I was ready to pass out at any moment. I couldn’t breathe through my nose and I was constantly trying to clear my throat so I never felt like I could catch my breath.

Saturday was pretty bad too, but I managed to stand long enough to take a shower. And after that, I was able to drive 2 blocks to the grocery store to get some cold medication and soup. And on Sunday, I finally was able to breathe through one side of my nose and didn’t feel like my head was so heavy it was going to fall off my neck.

With the exception of the 10 minutes I was at the grocery store, from Wednesday evening until Monday morning I never left my house. And even though I was in my house all that time, my house became a huge mess. I wasn’t cleaning and didn’t really care that things were piling up. I know that I could have been worse, but this cold was really brutal and took me out of things for a while. I love lazy days sometimes, but having 4 days in a row where not only I was lazy but I felt awful was not something I wanted to have.

I know that lying low and taking things easy was exactly what I needed to do. If I had pushed myself more I could have gotten sicker or made this last longer. I’m still not totally better yet, but starting on Sunday I was finally over the hump and getting better. And knowing that I’m at the tail end of this thing is helpful. But I really just want to get back to feeling normal. I know there is a joke online about how you are never grateful to be able to breathe through your nose until you can’t do it because you are sick and you feel like you never appreciated your body doing that. I’m still in that phase right now and I can’t wait to be back to where I don’t think about my body being able to do anything.

Hopefully I won’t be sick again for a long time and that this will be the worst cold I have for another decade or so. I hate being so out of it and feeling like this. Sick days as an adult are nothing like sick days when you were a kid (and you had someone to take care of you and you spent the day watching tv). I can’t wait to have the energy to clean my house since now it needs a major deep clean.

And even though I got this cold from a guy I went on a date with, I will still give him another chance since I really can’t blame him for this. He didn’t realize I would get sick from seeing him. And if he felt even half as miserable as I did over the past week, then I feel like that is a bit of payback for him getting me sick.

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Can’t My Body Have A Break? (or Back To Back Issues)

Posted on May 3, 2018 | 3 comments

While it is annoying to be nauseous for about 2 weeks each month, I’m starting to get used to it. The medications I take now help to manage them better than what I could take when I was a teenager. And maybe I’m also just stronger and able to tolerate things better now. I know when I should be getting nauseous and when it will be ending. It’s not always exactly on schedule, but it’s pretty close so I’m able to prepare myself mentally for it.

My nausea ended this Monday (after I was at the dentist) and I was so happy to have it go away. I was hanging out with a friend and joking that I finally can start my 2 weeks of freedom now before I forget how bad it can be sometimes and feel sick again. But joking aside, I do look forward to the 2 weeks that I know I won’t be feeling as badly. I hate feeling nauseous and even as I get used to it, it’s never a fun feeling.

While I was hanging out with my friend on Monday, I could almost feel the nausea slip away from my body. But as I started to relax, I was feeling another off feeling coming on. I couldn’t figure out what the feeling was and just figured it was some nausea or maybe a bit of a cold. So I didn’t worry about it too much and just went on with my day.

Unfortunately, by Monday evening I was feeling worse and I knew something was wrong with me. I didn’t figure it out until the middle of the night that night when I was having to get up to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so.

I know that bladder infections and UTIs are pretty common for women, but I’ve been lucky. I only had one before and that was about 5 or 6 years ago. I actually didn’t know what it was at first and suffered for a few days before figuring it out. But this time, I knew that night what was wrong and I knew I’d need to go to the doctor in the morning.

Tuesday morning I managed to get an appointment with a nurse over the phone (it saves me the $50 co-pay) and she agreed that my symptoms seemed to be an infection so she wrote me a prescription and told me to come in for some lab work. I wasn’t able to do it until after I was done with work, so I went through my over the counter medications to find what I took last time to help the pain.

The good thing about not having bladder infections that often is that you don’t have them that often. The bad thing is that when you look at your medications, you discover they expired 4 years ago. I wasn’t going to take medications that expired that long ago, so I just had to suck it up while I was working. I’m lucky that I work from home because I was always only a few steps away from my bathroom. And I was drinking so much water to try to flush this out of my system.

As soon as I was done with work, I went over to the hospital. I went for my lab work first, and it was nice to be there and not have to give blood. Although I will say that having to give a urine sample while having a bladder infection (which makes it very difficult and painful to pee) is pretty awful too. But I got it done and then headed to the pharmacy to get my prescriptions and to get some more of the over the counter things I take.

The pharmacy was a bit crowded, but I was done in under 15 minutes which was nice since I was getting more and more uncomfortable. I forgot to bring some water with me to the hospital and I don’t love taking medications without water or using a drinking fountain, so I quickly drove home to take the pills and wait to feel better.

I was in a lot of pain through Tuesday evening, but yesterday I was feeling significantly better. I know I’ll keep getting better over the next few days too. Just knowing I’m getting better and that there is an end in sight does help with how uncomfortable and painful things can be.

Of course, medications have side effects and the antibiotic I’m taking is making me feel nauseous. It’s not nearly as bad as how I feel from hormonal changes so that’s good. But to have nausea for 1 week out of the 2 that I know I don’t have nausea is almost a mean trick. I haven’t had to take my anti-nausea meds yet and I’m trying not to take them if I can help it. And hopefully the nausea decreases each day I take the medication.

It would have been nice to have my full 2 weeks off of nausea this month, but I guess that wasn’t in the cards for me. And I am grateful that I have health insurance so I could get treated right away and that this is something pretty easy to treat. There are so many worse things I could get and I’m a relatively healthy person. But while I’m grateful, this is just one of those moments where I wish I had a little bit of better luck and not back to back issues with my health.

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More Prepared Than Necessary (or Splitting Up Dentist Appointments)

Posted on May 2, 2018 | 2 comments

I had a dentist appointment this week and as always I was a bit nervous. My panic attacks at the dentist are still significantly less than they have been in the past, but I still don’t enjoy going in. And I was a little more nervous than normal for a few reasons.

First, this was the bigger appointment that I have once a year where I have a cleaning plus seeing the dentist. Seeing the dentist includes x-rays (which I don’t love) plus having him see if there is any teeth that need a bit of work. I’ve been lucky lately that I’ve needed only minimal work but I’m always scared that I’ll need something more significant. And I was also a bit more nervous than normal because at my last appointment I was told that there was a spot on one tooth that probably does need some more work.

First I saw the hygienist for the cleaning and I told her to tell me immediately if the dentist was going to say I needed work done. She checked the tooth she warned me about last time and confirmed that if I didn’t have a filling done soon that it would turn into a cavity. This would be minor work, but it’s still something bigger than normal and would require a shot. But beyond that one tooth, she didn’t see anything else that looked like it would need work or require to be watched.

The cleaning went pretty easily. I was feeling pretty nauseous still that day so I was worried that things would get really bad. But my medications were helping and I didn’t have to really take any breaks to let the nausea pass. I did have a moment when the chair was leaning back that I was terrified I would throw up, but I took deep breaths and that feeling passed without anything that bad happening. I don’t think I will ever like going in for my teeth being cleaned, but at least it’s quick and tolerable now for me.

After the cleaning, I moved over to the chair where x-rays are done and where you meet with the dentist to discuss things. I was mentally prepared for him to say I needed to be back for a filling soon (I joked to the hygienist that I wished it could have been done that day since I was already there and nervous) but I was still a bit nervous he would have some more bad news for me. It didn’t help that there was a woman in another chair getting work done that seemed to be in a lot of pain. I tried to ignore her and just stay calm.

Usually the assistant would come over to do the x-rays and then I’d see the dentist. So I was surprised to see the dentist and hygienist coming over to talk to me. The dentist explained that he was in the middle of an emergency root canal that he was not expecting to do while I was there. He wouldn’t have time for me to have my appointment with him but he knew I knew I needed a filling on a tooth. So he asked if I’d be ok coming back in a week to do my appointment with him and they would be able to do the filling at the same time.

Of course I said that would be fine, but I still wish I could have gotten the appointment with him done. I know there was no way to do the filling that same day, but at least I would know for sure that I was only have 1 filling done. Now I’m just hoping that it will only be 1 filling that I’m having done when I go back next week. But I also know that even if I knew that I’d still be nervous while waiting for the next appointment.

I was totally prepared for both of the appointments and to be told that I would need a filling. While I didn’t have all of that happen in one day, it will happen between the appointment I had and the one I have coming up. And at least I am a little bit confident that I won’t be getting any worse news when I’m back for the next appointment. But if I do, hopefully they can take care of it then along with the filling I’m having done.

I am so grateful that even though dentist appointments are still tough for me, they are getting easier and easier. And hopefully next week this filling will go super easily too and I can write another post about how I was prepared for something so much worse than reality.

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Default ThumbnailAnother Year Another Dentist Panic (or One Medications Overriding Another) Default ThumbnailMore Adventures At The Dentist (or Getting Through A Long Appointment) Default ThumbnailStaying Calm With Changes (or Testing My Fear Of The Dentist) Default ThumbnailA Boring Visit At The Dentist (or Getting Ready For A Future Bad Appointment) Default ThumbnailSurprises At The Dentist (or Guess I Have A Few More Appointments) Default ThumbnailTime For Dental Work (or Maybe My MRIs Prepared Me For This)

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Medical Miracle Anniversary (or A Year Of My Liver Being A Badass)

Posted on April 20, 2018 | 1 comment

1 year ago today I was supposed to have my liver surgery to remove my tumors and about 30% of my liver. And as you know if you’ve followed my blog for a while, that surgery didn’t happen. Even though the research shows that the type of tumors I have don’t typically shrink on their own, somehow mine did. The tumors were caused by hormonal birth control and I guess going off of it made the tumors smaller. I’ve done some research on my own and it seems like even though this situation is still very rare, it is a bit more common than we previously thought.

For my hip surgery, it’s easy to know what the anniversary is because it happened on a certain date. For this medical situation, it was a bit tougher to pick what my anniversary date would be. There was the date when my OB/GYN called me to tell me my MRI results were in and the tumors shrank. At that time I only knew the tumors shrank and that it was almost unheard of that happening. She didn’t know what was the next step and I assumed I might still be having surgery. Then there was the phone call I had with my liver surgeon that happened 2 days before I was supposed to go in for my pre-op appointment. That was when my surgery was officially cancelled and I knew that I was a medical miracle.

But to me, I think I want to consider my non-surgery date as my medical miracle anniversary since it is the anniversary of my surgery not happening. It’s also an easier date to remember because I have to look back at a calendar to figure out what dates I got the phone calls from the doctors. And the surgery date was ingrained in my head while I prepped for it so it will be hard for me to forget it. So that mean today marks my 1 year anniversary of being a medical miracle.

It’s weird to think that 1 year ago I would have either still been in surgery or in a recovery room recovering from a major surgery. While I was looking forward to the surgery because I knew that I needed it, I’m much happier that I didn’t have to deal with a very long recovery from a major surgery. While I’ve had a few surgeries in my life, this would have been the biggest one and the first time I would have been in the hospital overnight (I would have been there for multiple days and nights to recover before going home).

When my surgery was initially cancelled, I did have a bit of a struggle because it felt like something in my life was unfinished. I also felt a bit out of control and disconnected because I had no sense that this was happening with my body (both the tumors existing and the tumors shrinking). It took a while for that feeling to go away, but now I’m just so grateful that I was lucky enough to not need a major surgery. As much as I prepared for that recovery, I know that there really isn’t a way to prepare and I was worried about how painful it might be and what my body may not be able to do for a while. I’m glad I didn’t have to have those worries but instead just got to enjoy a long visit with my parents instead of being in the hospital.

Since my medical miracle, there has been very little I’ve had to do with my liver. I am still limiting my drinking since I know alcohol can stress my liver (and I doubt stress is good for it). I’m taking some supplements for liver health because I figured it can’t hurt to do that and it’s not expensive to take them. And while I don’t have to worry about the tumor breaking off and causing me to bleed internally as much as I did before, I’m continuing to be cautious of not bumping my stomach into anything and avoiding any trauma I can to my abdomen.

I had an MRI 6 months after the miracle because my surgeon had no idea what really would happen with the tumors. The hope was that they would continue to shrink, but there was the possibility that they would either stay the same or grow and that would have led to me needing surgery. Fortunately, they did shrink a bit more (but not nearly as significantly as they did previously) and my surgeon and I went over what the plan would be. The plan is pretty limited as this is not the normal path, but basically I’m just continuing doing what I’m doing and then I’ll have another MRI in October (1 year from the most recent MRI).

Even a year later, I still think I’m a bit shocked about how this all turned out. Discovering I had a tumor was pretty dramatic with a full day at the hospital. Discovering what type of tumor I had and how large they were was pretty crazy too. And then being a medical miracle and having my surgery cancelled is something I never believed could happen. Even though my family always believes in the best for medical situations, my tumors shrinking to the point of my surgery being unnecessary didn’t really enter any of our minds. Hopefully the dramatics with these tumors is done now and my next MRI and all future ones will show the tumors shrinking. I guess I’ll find out in 6 more months.

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Default Thumbnail3 Years Knowing About The Tumors (or I Forgot An Anniversary) Default ThumbnailTumor Updates (or I’ve Got A Plan For My Liver) Default ThumbnailA Non-Surgery Anniversary (or Another Year Of Being A Medical Miracle) Default Thumbnail3 Years Of Being A Medical Miracle (or Just Enjoying Being Healthy) Default ThumbnailTaking Back A Medical Miracle (or Getting My Eyes Checked Again) Default ThumbnailA Tumor Miracle (or I Wasn’t Expecting This)

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Struggling Sucks (or Thank Goodness It Was A Short Workout Week)

Posted on March 5, 2018 | Comments Off on Struggling Sucks (or Thank Goodness It Was A Short Workout Week)

This past week of workouts wasn’t that great for me. I wish I could put a more positive spin on things, but that really is the truth for me. And I’m not one to sugarcoat the truth. I’ve been struggling a lot lately, but this past week took things to a new level and I really wasn’t mentally prepared for it. I had one ok day, one horrible day, and one bad day. Not what I was hoping, but that’s the week that I had.

I didn’t have a workout on Monday because I was in Palm Springs, so I only had 3 workouts this past week. But that ended up being for the best for me. Wednesday was a power day and it wasn’t too bad. I think I lucked out because we were switching between blocks and it was more like a 3 group workout than a 2 group workout. So we never really spent that long in one section of the room. The first round was 3 minutes at each section, the second round was 5 minutes at each section, and the last round was 3 minutes at each section.

For the treadmill, it was pretty much push paces and push to all out paces. I walked everything and was able to do my normal speed and inclines which really surprised me. I thought since I missed my Monday workout it would have been much worse, but maybe doing my hiking helped me not feel too bad. On the rower we had 2 rounds of distance rows with lunges between and one round of counting pulls for the rowing. For counting pulls, we were counting for 200 and 100 meters. The goal for 200 is under 20 pulls, but because I’ve been working on taking my time with these challenges I managed to do it in 13 pulls! And on the floor we had burpees, crunches, hop overs, skier swings, and sit ups.

Friday’s workout was just bad for me. I was dealing with pain and nausea and even though I took my medications right before class they weren’t helping. I thought I could do the treadmill since it was a power day, but after the warmup I was feeling so nauseous that I got off and got on the bike. I’m glad I’ve figured out that being on the bike helps keep some of the nausea away (walking is just too bouncy for me when I feel bad), but it’s still a little bit of a disappointment when I can’t use the treadmill. I’m working on getting out of that mindset, but I think the way I was feeling physically was affecting my mental state.

We had 4 blocks for cardio but we didn’t switch between blocks so we were on it for the first half of class. The first 3 blocks were push paces and push to all out paces. I really worked on my cadence with the bike and trying to work on increasing my gears for the push and all out paces. I did have to take breaks from time to time because of the nausea, but I managed to get through most of the workout on the bike just fine.

On the floor, we had 1 long block that was all Bosu and rowing work. We had pop jacks, sit ups, hop overs, back extensions, lunges, and side crunches all using the Bosu. Those were split into 3 sections and between each section we had a 250 meter row. I really had to take my time with the Bosu work, especially when there were exercises that went from standing to sitting or laying down. My stomach wasn’t doing ok with moving like that so I had to take breaks and go easy. With the rowing, the first time I was on the rower it took 2:21 to row (it should be around 2:15). The second time I rowed it was 2:16. And the last time I rowed it was 2:11. To improve with each row is good and I’m glad I finally got it under the time we were supposed to be within. But again, my nausea was kicking up a lot and before and after each row I had to focus on breathing and trying to feel better.

Saturday’s workout was one that I was very nervous for. I was still feeling pretty horrible (I had some blackout cramps before my workout) and I knew it was going to be a partner workout. I usually love partner workouts because it helps keep me motivated and I want to make sure that my partner isn’t waiting on me to finish so we can switch. But since I was feeling so badly, I didn’t want to let my partners down. When I got to class, it was a 3 group partner workout and it turned out that technically no partner was going to be responsible for the switch on their own.

We had 3 blocks that were each 13 minutes long. And in each block we rotated between the treadmill, rower, and floor. And the switch was determined by whichever of the 3 of us was finished with the work first. So even if I never finished first, my team wasn’t going to be stuck waiting on me. That was a big relief.

I used the bike again instead of the treadmill but I was able to use the rower and could do the floor work. The cardio was all short intervals (some of it was on an incline on the treadmills) and I was usually able to get the bike work done in about 3 minutes. On the rower, we had rows that were between 200-600 meters. And on the floor, it was the same work each block but we changed the number of reps each time. We had lunges, squats, crunches, and plank punches.

Even though I didn’t have to worry about my partners waiting on me, I didn’t want to be too slow with my work. And a few times I was actually the person that initiated the switch. I tried to take my breaks on the floor since that section was repeating each block, but there were a few times I had to stop on the bike to let the wave of nausea pass. It’s sad that I’m getting used to dealing with this, but since it’s possibly going to be like this for a long time I guess it’s a good thing that I’m learning to manage.

Overall, while this wasn’t a great workout week for me it was better than not showing up. It sucks to struggle and to feel like you can’t do anything to fix it, but I’m proud of myself for at least going to class. Working out won’t make things worse (except maybe walking making my nausea worse) and there is always a chance that it could be better after a workout. So I have to take the chance to see if it will help and if not, at least I’m keeping my commitment to myself to do at least 3 workouts each week.

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Default ThumbnailAn Off Workout Week (or Just Trying To Do My Best) Default ThumbnailAn Up And Down Workout Week (or I Love Having Workout Buddies) Default ThumbnailA Very Short Workout Week (or Having Some Sick Days) Default ThumbnailA Short Workout Week (or I Would Have Ended On A High Note) Default ThumbnailShort and Sweet Workout Week (or Taking It A Bit Easy) Default ThumbnailAnother Short Workout Week (or Still Can’t Believe My Milestone)

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Getting Back To Stretching (or My Body Is Telling Me What Monthly Challenge To Do)

Posted on March 1, 2018 | 1 comment

The first two months of 2018, I had some abstract monthly challenges. I’m so glad that I did those challenges because they have been so beneficial for me. But I’m getting back to more concrete challenges now. But first, a quick recap on last month’s challenge.

In February, I challenged myself to work on not saying “sorry” as often, especially when there is usually a better and more appropriate thing to say since I don’t need to apologize. I normally say sorry instead of excuse me, like when I’m trying to get past someone at a store or when I am trying to get someone’s attention. It’s a habit that I have been wanting to break but it’s difficult because I’ve been doing it for so long.

I don’t know if I haven’t had as many opportunities when I usually would say sorry or if I haven’t been saying it as much for a while, but I was surprised when I noticed how easily this change was. I wasn’t finding myself saying sorry and then thinking I should have said something else that often. Mainly, I thought about it at stores trying to get past someone and I was very conscious of trying to say excuse me instead.

I’m sure that this will be something I need to think about a lot in the future to make sure I don’t slip into the habit again. But it just surprised me that I didn’t really have that many times that I said sorry in the past month. It was weird. But I also thought that it could have to do with my challenge from January when I worked on being a bit selfish. I’ve been putting myself first when I can and I think that has just given me more confidence. So maybe having that confidence stopped my habit of saying sorry earlier than I thought.

Since I have been focused on mental and abstract challenges, I really wanted to get back to a physical one for March. There were a few ideas that I was thinking about, but one thing was sticking out for me. I’ve always been a very flexible person, but I’ve noticed that my flexibility has been getting worse lately. I’m still more flexible than many people, but there is a noticeable difference. Also, I’ve been waking up with more muscle pain than I’m used to.

This could be attributed to a few things. I have been working out a lot and haven’t been doing the yoga that I was doing previously. Or it could be due to me getting older and needing to take more care of my body. Either way, I want to gain flexibility back and to help keep my body healthy.

I thought of a few things of what I could do to help gain my flexibility. I debated about doing another yoga challenge but that didn’t feel right to me. And I looked at a few different fitness related challenges but those didn’t seem to be what I needed. And finally, I found the idea of doing a stretching challenge and that seemed perfect to me! Stretching would be a good thing for me to do no matter what as it can help get my body moving throughout the day. I don’t move a ton while I’m working (I walk from my bed to my desk and then I’m sitting down) so getting in a stretch either before or after I’m done working would really help.

I looked into a few stretching ideas, and I found an app that I’m going to try out. It has 9 different stretches that it guides you through and each stretch lasts 30 seconds. So it will only take about 5 minutes for me to do the full circuit and that’s not too bad. And if that app doesn’t seem to be right, there are a ton of other options for me to find stretching routines to use. No matter what, I want to get stretching into my daily routine because I know my body needs it.

I’m not expecting this stretching to necessarily get my flexibility back. There are some specific things with flexibility that I know I want to work on and I will be working on those separately. I used to be able to do the splits easily. I can still do them, but I have to work much harder at it. I also can still reach my toes when I stretch, but in the past I could get my hands beyond my feet. That would be nice to be able to do again too. But for this month, I really want to work on general flexibility first and then start looking into more specific things. And even if I don’t regain all my flexibility back, I know that I will be helping my body and it will be good to have a little extra movement in my day when I know that it’s lacking.

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Default ThumbnailMonthly Challenge Update Time (or One More For 2017) Default ThumbnailAlmost Through A Year Of Monthly Challenges (or Picking A Good Challenge For November) Default ThumbnailMonthly Challenge Check-In (or Doing My Own Version Of An OTF Challenge This Month) Default ThumbnailNot Perfect This Month (or Challenged With The Monthly Challenge) Default ThumbnailMy First 2017 Monthly Challenge (or Working On My Tumors) Default ThumbnailAnother Monthly Challenge Down (or The Prosperous Heart)

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