Tag Archives: flying

Getting Ready For Thanksgiving (or I Wish Flying Was Easier)

Posted on November 27, 2019 | Comments Off on Getting Ready For Thanksgiving (or I Wish Flying Was Easier)

I’m traveling to Sacramento again this year for Thanksgiving. Our family Thanksgiving was originally planned to be there since my grandma couldn’t travel. Since she passed away recently, we didn’t change the plans for our family. But starting next year, I think my family is going to go back to switching up where we have Thanksgiving each year.

I was so used to going to San Diego each year for a while and I have to admit that I liked Thanksgiving being there. I know that it wasn’t easy for most people in my family to get there, but it was easy for me. I didn’t necessarily love the drive down there because it could take a lot longer than normal, but driving is so much easier for me than flying. I miss it when I could just pack up my car and go without thinking too much about it. Flying takes so much more effort and planning for me.

I don’t want to sound ungrateful that I get to fly to be with my family for Thanksgiving. I’m really grateful that my parents are able to help me out with getting a ticket (since I don’t have the money for it) and that I get to spend the holiday with so many members of my family. But flying really does stress me out so much. My panic attacks with flying have gotten better to the point I don’t have to be medicated while flying, but I do still deal with a lot of panic and anxiety when I have to get on a plane.

Maybe this is because I don’t fly that often. The last time I was on a plane was a year ago for Thanksgiving last year. Maybe if I flew all the time it would feel routine for me. Or maybe it would be just as bad as it always is for me. I don’t know and I doubt I will ever fly enough to figure it out.

Before I fly, I have stress and a bit of panic with packing. When I drove to Thanksgiving, I didn’t have to think about how much I packed or how it was packed. I didn’t necessarily overpack, but I wasn’t as organized when I could put lots of things in my car. I always had a suitcase for my clothes and toiletries, but I didn’t pack everything for my trip in a suitcase. I sometimes would have a different bag for shoes because I would have a few different pairs depending on the weather and what we were going to do. I would have a bag just for my work stuff since that can take up a lot of room. I would pack presents for my family in a separate bag so they were safe and easy to get to when we exchanged presents. And I usually helped out by making some food for Thanksgiving so I would have a bag for that too. Plus my everyday purse with my normal day to day things like my wallet and what I would need when I was out and about.

There is no way I can do all that for a trip where I’m flying. I have just one carryon and one large purse that can fit my computer plus a few other personal things. I have to be very selective with what I pack for clothes, including my shoes. Fortunately, I have found a few ways I can reduce what I need to have with me to work without affecting my ability to do my job. And I have to find a way to basically fit everything into one bag that used to only be one part of what I bring with me. It’s such a dumb thing to stress me out, but it does. I’m just glad that I have it figured out and everything does fit in the suitcase I have with me. I just have to be ok with maybe not having the best outfits with me or not having all the toiletries and makeup that I’d want to bring. I guess the one positive is that my suitcase home will be easier to pack because the presents I have for my family take up a big part of the bag.

And then the entire ordeal of flying is something that stresses me out. I worry that I won’t be able to get to the airport on time. I worry that the security line will be so long that I will miss my flight. And the thing that stresses me out so much, that somehow for some reason I won’t fit in the airplane seat. This has never been an issue for me and I have flown when I weighed more than I do now. So there is no reason for me to think that somehow I won’t fit. The seats aren’t comfortable, but I don’t think most people find them comfortable. I know I will be fine flying and that I won’t have issues like not being able to get into a seat, but for some reason, this fear doesn’t go away until I am off the plane at the end of my trip. So this will be a fear I have in the back of my head the entire time I’m in Sacramento. This fear isn’t something that is determined just by my weight. When I was at my skinniest, I still had the same fear. I’m guessing this is a part of my body dysmorphia and that it will be something I will always deal with, at least a little bit.

By the time you are all reading this, I will have made it through the flight there so my packing and some of my flying stress will be done. And I’m hoping that the remaining stress and fear will be able to be pushed aside so I can enjoy the few days that I get to spend with my family and I don’t waste that time worrying about unnecessary things.

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Long Layover Visit (or Celebrating With My Mom In Person)

Posted on October 21, 2014 | 8 comments

This past Thursday my parents had a couple of flights. The first flight brought them to LAX where they had about a 10 hour layover. So when my parents knew that this was the situation, they asked me what my plans were for the afternoon. And of course, I immediately cleared my schedule so I could get them and spend some time with them.

The first thing we did at my house was a project (of course). A drawer on my dresser broke and my dad said that he would work on fixing it. We were finally able to create a fix, but we really need to work on it when my dad has the time to go to the hardware store and get some proper things (right now, the drawer is fixed with tape).

Since it was a nice day out, we also took a walk around my neighborhood. My parents haven’t really walked around my neighborhood that much. Usually when they are over at my house, we are working on something and then driving to another activity. But since we had all the free time in the afternoon, we took a very nice walk.

It’s fun to see my parents seeing more about where I live. My mom grew up in LA, but not near where I live. So it’s interesting to see them discovering why I love my area so much.

After walking around, it was time for linner (lunch/dinner). My parents wanted something filling so they wouldn’t be hungry on their next flight, so I took them over to Westside Tavern. I’ve been there plenty of times (it’s right next to one of my favorite movie theaters) but my parents have never been.

And since we were celebrating my mom’s final chemo treatment and her being cancer free, of course she got some champagne.

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We had a nice relaxing dinner and then headed back to my place. We spent some time watching tv and I helped both my parents with iPad questions (which is how I “pay” for the house repairs my dad does) and before we knew it, it was time for me to take them back to LAX for their next flight.

Their layover on the flight back isn’t nearly as long as this one was, but I might get to see them again then. But if not, Thanksgiving will be here before you know it and I’ll see them (and Tucker!) for a couple of days then.

I’m just so grateful that I’m in a work situation right now that allowed me to take the afternoon off so I could spend it with my parents. It was a nice treat for me to get to see them and I’m sure that they preferred hanging out at my house over spending 10 hours waiting at LAX for their next flight.

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A Plane Ride And A Mini Road Trip (or My Adventure To Get To Lake Tahoe)

Posted on June 24, 2014 | Comments Off on A Plane Ride And A Mini Road Trip (or My Adventure To Get To Lake Tahoe)

I got to go see my parents and puppy this past weekend in Lake Tahoe. My parents own a place near Truckee (I went there last summer as well). I grew up going to Tahoe every winter to ski and most summers to hike and enjoy the mountains.

Even though I went to Tahoe last summer, I haven’t gone as often as I’d like. This is because it’s not the closest place for me to go and my parents are pretty busy people. There are times where I have to make sure they set aside a certain weekend for me so they don’t invite friends of theirs up there.

My parents had invited me as well as my friend Kate to come up and she and I both set aside the time in our calendars. I know I’ve said it before, but Kate is like a sister to me, so having her come to Tahoe is more like a family hangout.

As a kid, we pretty much always drove to Tahoe (it’s about 4 hours from where I grew up). I flew a couple of times when I was in high school and couldn’t go on vacation as early as the rest of my family. And since moving to LA, I’ve pretty much only flown up there unless I’m combining a trip to Tahoe to a trip home to the Bay Area.

But for some reason, Southwest (who I pretty much always fly when I’m flying between Northern and Southern CA) stopped doing lots of non-stop flights from LA to Reno. There’s only a couple a day now when there used to be at least 6 or 7 options. And I didn’t want to have to have a layover in Vegas or Utah.

So my parents suggested that I fly into the Bay Area and Kate could come and get me. Then Kate and I could do the drive together (my parents were in Tahoe a few days before we went, so they couldn’t drive me).

That actually worked out pretty well! I got a flight from LA to Oakland and then Kate came to pick me up after she was done with work (which was pretty much the same time that I landed). Then she and I drove for about 3.5 hours to get to Tahoe.

It was a really fun mini road trip. We caught up on each other’s lives (she’s got a new job and she’s living in a new city). We shared crazy stories that have happened lately. We discussed the World Cup (we are both following the games, but she’s following them a bit better than I am).

By the time we got to Tahoe, it was dark so we pretty much just went inside to hang out with my parents and dog (who is more than double the size he was when I saw him in February).

While making my trip take almost 5 hours instead of 1 is a little crazy, it was totally worth it to get some hangout time with such a good friend. Plus, if that’s what I had to do to get to Tahoe, I’m fine with that.

I’ve got some fun pictures from the weekend coming up in my next two posts, so make sure you check those out when I post them!

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Back To LA (or Reflections On The NYC Trip)

Posted on March 28, 2014 | 3 comments

On Sunday last week, Krystle and I headed to the airport to get flights back to LA (for me) and San Francisco (for her). We had pretty early flights, so we were up at 5am that day. I was exhausted, but still didn’t sleep much on the flight.

I still can’t believe that this trip is over! Even though we only planned it for a few months, it seemed like we had been looking forward to it for forever!

On our last day in NYC, Krystle and I chatted about what we were able to check off our NYC checklists and what we need to do the next time we go (and we’ve already decided that this trip will be a somewhat regular adventure).

I’m so happy that we got to see as many shows as we did. We thought at first that 4 shows in 4 days was a bit ambitious, but it ended up being perfect! And we saw a good variety of shows (2 family friendly and 2 adult only).

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There were other shows that I would love to have seen, but I also just got a season at The Pantages (the Los Angeles theater that does Broadway tours) and most of the other shows I would have wanted to see are those that are in my season. But I’ve already said that if “Heathers” moves to Broadway, I will be back to see it again.

We didn’t really get to go into Central Park, and I don’t know if I’ve ever done that before (I don’t remember doing it, but maybe when I was little we went). Also, there are so many more museums that I want to see, but those are expensive and time-consuming. And money and time were a bit tight on this trip.

And there are also a lot of restaurants that were on my wish list that we didn’t make it to. But again, we can only go to so many dinners.

But we did manage to take the subway system for most of the trip, and we didn’t really get too lost. Sometimes we were confused what direction we needed to walk once we got out of the station, but that’s not too bad. Fortunately, we had both phone apps and a good paper map to use that helped us so much in our navigation. I also successfully hailed several cabs (I think that’s kind of awesome).

And finally, something that my mom said before we went on the trip was that she hoped that this trip would bring Krystle and I closer together. We’ve only seen each other a handful of times, and pretty much never just the two of us. So this was a real bonding experience. We got along super well (even in our really tiny hotel room that we shared) and we have planned to do more trips in the future. So I think it’s pretty safe to say that Krystle is not just my sister-in-law, but also a good friend of mine as well now.

It was tough to get back to life after this trip. It really felt like something magical with all the shows and seeing several friends. But I did have to get back to reality quickly because this past week, I started a new day job! But more on that next week.

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Adventures On The Red-Eye (or Surviving On Almost No Sleep)

Posted on March 20, 2014 | Comments Off on Adventures On The Red-Eye (or Surviving On Almost No Sleep)

Well, I made it to NYC! It’s my first time being back since August 2000 (yes, a lot of things have changed here since then) and I couldn’t be more excited!

Since I was leaving from Los Angeles and my sister-in-law was leaving from San Francisco, we did our best to try to get flights around the same time. We got it to where she got in about 90 minutes before me, so that’s not too bad.

I haven’t taken a red-eye flight since January 2005 and that flight was a long one so there was plenty of time to sleep (that was Chicago to Paris). Since this flight was going to be just over 5 hours and I have my issues with flying, I really was hoping for the best this time.

I took my panic meds on my usual schedule for flying days and right before I left for LAX I took an Advil PM. I thought that would help me in 2 ways. First of all, it would help me fall asleep a bit easier. Also, it would help me from getting too sore since I was going to be sleeping in an economy class seat (upgrading to first class was an extra $300 and I just can’t afford that).

I had a friend take me to LAX (thank you Lupe!) and right before she came to pick me up, I did some more prep work for being ready to sleep on a plane. I got changed into comfortable travel clothes (leggings, t-shirt, and a sweatshirt/sweater hybrid), brushed my teeth, and took out my contact lenses and put on my glasses.

Once I got on the plane, I tried to get settled very quickly. I got as comfortable as I could in my seat (thank goodness I had a window seat so I could lean on the side) and got my neck pillow out and ready to be used. I also took a quick picture because the mood lighting on Virgin America was pretty awesome.

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I tried to close my eyes as soon as the plane took off, but I still wasn’t too comfortable in my seat. Finally, once we were allowed to put our seats back, I did and was able to feel a bit more relaxed.

But I have to say, my mission to sleep on the plane was a failure. I took a couple of naps on the flight, but each of those was under an hour and I was probably awake for a half hour in between each nap. I guessed that over the entire flight, I maybe slept 2.5 hours. That’s not too good for what was supposed to be my entire night’s sleep!

About 30 minutes before we landed, I woke up from one of my naps and I realized that I had to give up on trying to sleep. So I turned on my tv on the seat in front of me and watched our progress into JFK.

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The sun was starting to rise as we were close to landing, so I got a cool view of the sky.

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After the flight, I was able to meet up with my sister-in-law (who landed in a different terminal than I did) and we got a cab to take us to Midtown Manhattan to the Waldorf Astoria (where we are staying for this trip).

We had a pretty full first day in New York, but that will have to wait until the next blog post. I’m actually writing this on Wednesday evening (so technically less than 24 hours after I left LAX). It’s currently 8:17pm here in NY, and I’m going to bed! I seriously need to catch up on some sleep!

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Trip Prep (or How The Earthquake Made Me Super Productive)

Posted on March 19, 2014 | Comments Off on Trip Prep (or How The Earthquake Made Me Super Productive)

On Monday and Tuesday this week, I knew I had to do all of my prep work for my NYC trip. I was leaving on the red-eye on Tuesday so I knew I had most of that day to get things done, but I didn’t want to leave everything to the last-minute.

My plan was to wake up on Monday and do most of my trip packing. On a daily basis, my alarm is set for 7am (yes, even while I’m unemployed). On Monday, I woke up at 6:24am (I know the exact time because I looked at my phone) and was mad because I wanted to go back to sleep and get in that last half hour. But a minute after I woke up, a 4.4 earthquake hit Los Angeles.

While a 4.4 isn’t too big of an earthquake, when it starts, you have no idea how big it will get. The first jolt was pretty big and the rumbling was very loud. Turns out, the epicenter was pretty close to me.

As soon as the shaking stopped, I got out of bed and went over to my living room to watch the news. I also got on my computer and sent a quick email to my parents to let them know that I was ok (I didn’t want them to see it on their news and not have heard from me). Since it was a smaller quake, there really wasn’t a lot of damage. In my house, one wineglass broke. That’s it.

After watching the news for a bit to see that it wasn’t a big quake somewhere and that everything was ok, I decided to start my day (I forgot to turn off my alarm and it went off a few minutes after I turned off the news).

I got all my packing done. It was tough because I’m only bringing a carry on and the weather is supposed to be highs in the mid 50’s and lows in the 20’s. That’s a lot of variety. But fortunately, I got some travel storage bags so I could make my sweaters and bulky jacket take up less room in my suitcase. I managed to get everything in there that I needed to bring.

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On Tuesday, I kept my schedule pretty open so I could try to prevent some stress about flying. All I really did was go over to my friend Erin’s house because she was going to blow out and style my hair for me.

Other than that, I tried to stay calm and get ready for my red-eye flight that night.

I’ll admit that I’m writing this post before my flight, so I’ll have to share my experience with that on another post.

Next time, I’ll be writing from NYC!

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24 Hour Visit Home (or Another Cancer Patient In The Family)

Posted on November 20, 2013 | Comments Off on 24 Hour Visit Home (or Another Cancer Patient In The Family)

The original plan for my dad’s weekend in LA was for him to stay until Sunday night. We had a full weekend planned with the concert on Friday, spin class on Saturday, and we were going to check out a couple of museums on Sunday.

But the night before my dad flew down here, he called me with some bad news. My dog, Dante, was diagnosed with a blood vessel cancer and it was pretty advanced. The vet wasn’t sure if Dante would make it that much longer, so my dad wanted to see if I wanted to come home last weekend. After some debating, it was decided that my dad would come down here and then he and I would fly back home on Saturday after spin class and then I would come back to LA on Sunday evening so I could make it to work on Monday.

On Thursday, my dog had a surgery on his leg to remove blood clots (the blood vessels in his leg burst and made his leg very swollen). He wasn’t eating after his surgery and was not really able to walk. When I picked up my dad on Friday, the situation was seeming very grim. Dante still had not had food and he was acting pretty out of it.

But by Friday afternoon, one of our neighbors brought over some wet dog food for Dante to try (my mom couldn’t leave Dante alone to go to the store) and he finally ate something. Later on Friday, my mom emailed me this picture of Dante looking a bit more like his usual self.

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He still wasn’t really able to walk too well, but that probably had a lot to do with the giant compression bandage on his leg.

On Saturday, before my dad and I got home, Dante got his big bandage taken off. His incision still has a bunch of stitches (that have to stay in until Thanksgiving), but he was able to walk a lot more. Once my dad and I got home, he was walking a little bit through the house, but since he had just taken a pain pill, he was a little drugged out.

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On Sunday, we took him for a little walk outside in the neighborhood to help stretch his leg and to make sure that he stays strong. We usually take him around this one particular long block near our house, and when we got to that corner, he tried to turn the direction that we usually go. So even though he was still limping and walking funny, I felt better seeing that he wanted to just do what is normal to him.

It was tough to leave Dante on Sunday evening. We really don’t know what the future holds for him. My parents are taking him to a dog oncologist this week and we should have a better idea of what we will do then. And even if the oncologist says that he doesn’t have much longer, that doesn’t mean it’s true. There are miracles out there. One of the dogs that is part of the pet therapy program that my mom runs (and Dante is practically the mascot of) had a form of bone cancer and his owner was told that his dog only had 6 months left. That was over a year ago.

But for now, my family is focused on making Dante as happy as possible and giving him the best quality of life we can (which for now means only wet dog food and people food, no more kibble for him). I’m hoping that I will get to see Dante again when I go home next month, but for now, I’m just grateful that my parents paid for me to go home for one day just so I could be with my dog.

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My Last Day By The Bay (or Time To Head Back To Reality)

Posted on May 2, 2013 | Comments Off on My Last Day By The Bay (or Time To Head Back To Reality)

On my last day in San Francisco, my parents came up to have brunch with us (they were on their way to Lake Tahoe so they made a quick stop).

Before brunch, we went up to the roof of my brother’s place to check out the view.

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We went to brunch (where I forgot to take any pictures, sorry), and then my parents had to head out to continue their trip.

My brother, Krystle, Anna, and I weren’t too sure what we were going to do for the day since I had to be at the airport that afternoon to catch my flight home.

We started off by heading across the Golden Gate Bridge to Sausalito.

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We walked around for a bit, checked out some shops, and checked out the view of the city.

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Then after my brother and Krystle did some wine tasting and got some wine, we headed back to the city to drive down the most crooked street in the world.

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Then we headed over to Pier 39 to check out the sea lions.

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Sorry for the far away picture. It was very smelly close to the sea lions and we wanted to keep our distance!

After checking out Pier 39 a bit more, stopping at a bar for a quick drink, and heading back to the car; it was time for me to get to the airport to catch my flight.

My brother drove me to the airport, so I didn’t have the same adventure going back as I did coming in. My flight ended up being delayed so I had some dinner in the airport (nothing good enough to talk about) and got a lot of reading done.

I boarded my flight about an hour after it was supposed to take off, and then we got delayed again on the runway. I’m not sure how long we were stuck because I ended up falling asleep. I woke up during the drink service and watched us fly into LA (I love seeing all the city lights when I’m flying in).

After a long weekend, it was really nice to be home. I enjoyed my trip, but I knew that the next morning I had to go back to work and I wanted to be prepared.

Thanks again to my brother Ross and Krystle for inviting me out for last weekend and letting me stay with them! Unless they come out to LA for my birthday in August, I think the next time I’ll see them will be at their wedding in Hawaii!

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Trying To Stay Calm (or Not Letting Panic Take Over)

Posted on April 26, 2013 | Comments Off on Trying To Stay Calm (or Not Letting Panic Take Over)

Today, I’m heading out to San Francisco for the weekend. I’m going to be staying with my brother and his fiancée and the main event for the trip is my future sister-in-law’s wedding dress fitting.

This trip was planned back in August, so I’ve known about it for a long time. But over the past few days, I’ve been getting increasingly panicky about the trip.

I’ve talked about my panic attacks before. Many of them are caused by something that I don’t know. But besides going to the dentist, one of the main reasons I get panic attacks is traveling and going or doing something unknown.

When I travel to see my parents, I know exactly what the airport is like, where I meet my parents to pick me up, when I call them to get me. Everything is easy because I’ve done it so many times before.

But I’ve never flown into the San Francisco airport (I’ve once flown out of it). This time, I’m taking public transportation to meet my brother at a location closer to his apartment where he will pick me up and take me to his place.

These are all unknowns. I’ve done a ton of research on the public transportation from the airport so it will seem at least a little familiar to me, but I’m still freaking out. And I know that this feeling won’t go away until I do it (it will lessen a bit when I take my panic meds right before flying, but I’m waiting until closer to flying time to take them).

My poor parents have both already talked with me while I’m panicky (my mom got to deal with a long rambling phone call where I feel like I must have sounded drunk). I know that they are trying to ease my stress and fears, but I know from past experience that nothing makes this go away until I finish the task.

I felt the same way when I did the Hollywood Half 5K. I didn’t know the course going into the event. I researched it a ton online, looked at Google street view, but I was still so nervous and panicky until I crossed the finish line.

I’m starting to realize that maybe I should treat my panic attacks the same way I treat my eating disorder. I know that I will have my eating disorder the rest of my life, I just have to get used to managing it. I will most likely have panic attacks the rest of my life. Instead of trying to avoid them, maybe I need to accept them and work on overcoming each one as they come.

Even knowing that, I can’t wait until I can take my meds, get on the plane, and get safely to my brother’s place so this will all be over! Well, until Sunday when I have to fly home.

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Default ThumbnailTrip Planning (or Keeping Panic To A Minimum) Default ThumbnailSurviving At The Dentist (or When Will I Grow Out Of My Fear) Default ThumbnailTime For Another MRI (or Still Trying To Stay Calm) Default ThumbnailAn Interesting Plane Flight (or A Return Of My Panic Attacks) Default ThumbnailStaying Calm In The Crazy (or Is This Month Over Yet?) Default ThumbnailLess Panic At The Dentist (or Am I Finally Over This?)

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Posted in Tough Stuff

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Jet Setter (or My Weekend Away From LA)

Posted on October 19, 2012 | 2 comments

Today I head out of town to attend my friend’s wedding. I’m super excited for the happy couple.

But I’m also really nervous. I’m not the best flyer.

There aren’t too many things in life that scare me. Needles and the dentist do, but flying is a relatively new fear.

I’ve been flying for my whole life. When I was younger, my family would go on vacation in lots of other countries. I’ve been to 5 different continents. And all of those times, I was never scared of flying. I would actually sleep a lot on planes. Here’s a picture of me calm as a cucumber as I flew to Paris with my mom to celebrate me graduating college early.

Some time after graduating college, I started to get very panicky on planes, particularly during takeoff and landing. I’m pretty ok on long flights, but more often I’m taking very short flights. On the flight from LA to San Jose (where I grew up), you pretty much only have takeoff and landing. I never do that well on that flight, and I take that one a lot.

According to my reservation, my flight tomorrow should be about 3 hours long. I’m hoping that that will allow me to have some time to calm down during the flight. I’ll be sitting with a friend also going to the wedding, so at least I don’t have to worry about sitting next to a creeper or someone who thinks I’m crazy if I get a little panicky.

I’m trying to focus on my excitement about the wedding. I’ve been looking forward to this since my friend got engaged! I’ve got a super cute new dress to wear, I’m going to get to hang out with a bunch of friends, and I’m going to a city I’ve never been to before (my only time in Texas previously was when I was driving from LA to Oklahoma).

As long as I focus on the good and exciting parts of the weekend, I’m not going to let my fear of flying get in the way!

I’ll have a recap with hopefully a bunch of photos to share when I get back!

Also, if you want to come to the screening of the documentary that I produced, you only  have about a day left to get your tickets for free! Otherwise, you have to pay $5. You can get tickets here.

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Posted in Celebrations, Fun Stuff, Tough Stuff

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