Tag Archives: clothes

Letting Go Of The Old Me (or This Was Very Overdue)

Posted on November 11, 2021 | Comments Off on Letting Go Of The Old Me (or This Was Very Overdue)

For quite some time, I have said I needed to go through my closet and dresser and get rid of clothes I don’t wear anymore. I also needed to see what things might have holes or other things that needed to be repaired so I could decide if they should be tossed or fixed. I’ve gone through my clothes from time to time and have gotten rid of a lot that was just taking up space, but I know I need to do more work with this because there are things that I’m convincing myself I will wear again.

But there is one part of my wardrobe that I didn’t look at any time I did a closet clean. I think a lot of people who have lost a significant amount of weight do this, but I had a small collection of my favorite skinny clothes. This wasn’t in my closet but in a storage bag under my bed. So I didn’t have to look at them and be reminded of my skinny clothes that often, but I always knew they were there.

When I lost weight, I was more than happy to get clothes that fit me better. I would try smaller sizes as soon as my current clothes felt even a little baggy. When I gained weight, I held on to those smaller sizes until it was painful to wear them anymore and then I would size up. I haven’t been my skinny size in well over a decade, but for some reason, I still held on to my favorite pieces.

So the other day, when I was doing a big clean to really look at what I want to move and what I don’t need, I decided to finally open up those storage bags and see what I could get rid of. Most of the items in there were things I kept for sentimental reasons. There was one thing that wasn’t skinny clothes, but only sentimental. I had my high school prom dress in that storage bag. I did like my prom dress, but it wasn’t like it was a dream dress or anything. I struggled to find something in my size but I was glad I found something that fit me and was pretty. I only wore it one other time for a costume party, but I was holding on to it. And I figured it was time to let it go so it went into the pile of things to get rid of (which was going to be donated).

And then I started going through the rest of the clothing from the bag. I had 2 pairs of jeans that were the smallest jeans I wore as an adult and they really fit me well when I was that size. I had a few different dresses that I kept for random reasons. One was a cocktail dress that I lucked into finding and wore quite a bit when I was that size. Another I never wore but I bought because it fit perfectly, was a color I loved, and was on clearance when I found it. The only way I knew it was on clearance was because the tags were still on it. I also had a few different shirts that were a mix of fancy dress shirts and silly t-shirts that reminded me of something specific. I thought I had a lot more in that storage bag, but it was under a dozen things.

I thought about keeping a few of my favorites, but honestly, there isn’t really a good reason to do that. I will have more closet space at my new place, but I don’t need to hold onto these things. Even if I fit into them again, they aren’t really in style or my taste anymore. And while they do remind me of a good time when I felt much better about my body than I do now, I don’t need to be reminded of what I used to have. I try not to think about how my life might be different if I never gained weight again. And looking at that clothing did make me wonder about the alternative life I could have had. And while my life would likely be different if I was still skinny, I have no way to know if it would be better than my current life. So I’m choosing not to think like that too much. And the easiest way to do that is to not have any of my skinny clothes in my house anymore.

It was a little tough to get rid of things I have held onto for over a decade, but I did feel a sense of relief when they were gone. I don’t have a reminder of the old me anymore and I don’t need to reflect on my past in terms of my body, weight, or size. I know that I have some clothes in my closet now that probably don’t fit and are the wrong size, but they are things that might just be a size or two off. So I’ll need to do a day where I try on what I own and consider getting rid of what I don’t want to hold onto even if it’s almost the right size.

One day, I might be that skinny size again and I’ll need to buy clothes if that happens. But for now, I want to focus on my size right now and make sure I have clothes that fit who I am now and not who I used to be or who I might be in the future.

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Posted in Fun Stuff, Shopping, Weight Loss

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Tired Of Online Shopping (or There Aren’t A Ton Of Great Options For Me)

Posted on July 15, 2021 | Comments Off on Tired Of Online Shopping (or There Aren’t A Ton Of Great Options For Me)

Ever since I’ve been an adult, I’ve done some of my shopping online. Sometimes the store I want to order from isn’t near me or the local one doesn’t have something in stock. Sometimes the store is online only. And sometimes it’s just about convenience and I’d rather order online than go to a store. I’ve done this for so many things in my life. I can’t think of much that I use that I haven’t bought online at one point or another.

And I went from doing some of my shopping online to all of my shopping online when the pandemic hit. Anything I needed could be ordered online and delivered to me. I didn’t love doing this, but it felt like the safer thing for me to do. And the few places I did go in person to were limited to grocery stores and drug stores. Nothing interesting or exciting, only places to get things I needed. That doesn’t mean I haven’t bought a lot of fun things over the past year and a half. It’s just that everything else has been purchased online. And I’m really starting to feel over it.

I recently found some new bedding I wanted to get for my room. My comforter has been torn for a bit and I was excited to have something new. I took my time to look at a few different places and did price comparisons and looked at reviews. Even though I knew I could return something, I’d rather not do that so I wanted to pick the right thing the first time. And when I got it, it was nothing like what I thought I got. The color was wrong (I ordered something that was supposed to be green and this was more of a yellow) and the fabric was very thin and not soft at all. If I had bought this in a store in person, I wouldn’t have gotten it because I would have known right away that it was wrong. But online, I had no clue until it arrived.

I know that returning things isn’t a huge deal and it’s actually easier now than it used to be. When returning stuff to Amazon, you don’t need a box or anything. You print out a return slip and take the item and the slip to the UPS store and they handle everything else. So that is nice to do, but I’d prefer to not have to do that at all and have the items be right.

It’s even more frustrating with clothes. I look at the size charts and take my measurements to make sure I’m ordering the right size, but that’s not always enough. The fit of items can vary so much. And sometimes, I do end up ordering multiple sizes so I can test them out and return what doesn’t work. Even if I felt comfortable going into stores, I still have to order so much online. Some stores that sell plus-sized clothing only sell it online and not in their stores. And there are a lot of stores that are only online. So trying things on isn’t an option for me. I’m really trying to find new things for my wardrobe, but so far everything I’ve ordered online this month has been returned. I do try to see if I could do some alterations and make the items work, but that isn’t always easy or cheap. It would be so nice if I could just find things that fit me, but I haven’t had any luck. I haven’t given up yet, but it’s hard to feel excited about getting new things when lately everything I get goes back.

I’m trying to be a bit more adventurous with the stores I shop at. I see things online and seek out where they got them and I have discovered new stores I didn’t know about before. Most of the time, I still have to order online, but at least I’m not just shopping at the same places over and over again. And I know that eventually, I’ll have some luck and some new things that I can wear on the random adventures I have now going out of my house and feel awesome and comfortable.

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Being Organized and Stylish (or Working On Getting Into A Post-Pandemic Life)

Posted on July 1, 2021 | Comments Off on Being Organized and Stylish (or Working On Getting Into A Post-Pandemic Life)

Happy July! 2021 is officially half over! And half my monthly challenges for the year are done as well. I haven’t done really well with my monthly challenges, but it’s also been a tough first half of the year for me. Things are getting better for me, so hopefully the challenges will as well. But I also have been picking challenges that I know might take me longer than just a month.

For June, I had a challenge to work on organizing my desk. This was a project that I have been putting off for a while and I knew it needed to be done. My desk has been very messy for a long time and I got lazy with keeping it organized when my work life was in flux. I was storing a lot of paperwork that I might need or used to need and wasn’t too worried about keeping my workspace clean and easy to find everything. But as I started to work more and more, the piles were making my workspace cluttered and I wasted time looking for things.

While this challenge can’t be considered complete, I have made a lot of steps in the right direction and have more work I plan on doing. I have to do a big overhaul of my filing cabinet and storage and it takes time to go through everything I have in there and decide what to keep. I also have been working on scanning paperwork that I want to keep but don’t need the originals. This is a big project and I knew that going into it, but I’m seeing lots of progress and I know it will continue to be worked on. Hopefully soon, I’ll have the nice and clean workspace that I dream of.

And for July, my challenge is all about being out and about in the world again. I tend to wear a lot of comfortable clothes. When working at home, you don’t need to dress cute and I would prefer to be comfortable. And when I wasn’t going out for anything, staying in comfortable clothes all the time became the norm. But as I am going out and doing things more and more, I want to find ways to feel cute and stylish again.

This doesn’t necessarily mean I need to buy a ton of new clothes. I will buy a few new things, but I’m working on being a bit picky and making sure they are really what I want. But I have plenty of clothes that I could wear, I just am out of the habit of putting together outfits. And I want to take more risks with style a bit. For a long time, I dressed to hide my body. I don’t know if that made me think I was hiding my size and shape or it was just a lack of confidence. But I’ve realized that there’s no point in me doing that. I want to feel cute and if someone sees what I really look like then they do. A good example of a risk (that seems like a very nothing risk) I took recently with clothes was tucking in a flowy shirt with jeans. In the past, I would let it stay flowy over my stomach and feel ok that you couldn’t see anything. But it also made me look bigger than I really am. So I did a French tuck in the front so it was still flowy but you could see my shape. I won’t say I was completely comfortable with it, but it felt good to not feel like I’m in shapeless clothes and I tried to feel more confident. But I think the more I do this, the easier it will be for me.

So hopefully this month, I will work on finding new favorite outfits in my closet and finding ways to feel more stylish. I know this is superficial, but finding some more confidence is important to me. And I think being confident can lead to other positive things in my life.

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Online Jeans Shopping (or Accepting I’ve Gained Weight)

Posted on March 31, 2021 | Comments Off on Online Jeans Shopping (or Accepting I’ve Gained Weight)

First, I want to say that I’m doing much better than I was earlier this week. I’m still dealing with some pain and nausea, but it’s at the level that I’m used to and was expecting to have. Whatever affected me on Monday had to be something else. I don’t know if it was food poisoning or a stomach bug, but whatever it was I think it’s out of my system. I’m glad to be back at a normal level of nausea because I know how to be productive while dealing with that and I have things I can use to make life easier.

Ok, now on to the point of this post.

I think a lot of people have gained weight over the past year. So many of us had a huge change when things shut down. Some people had to get used to the idea of working from home. Fortunately, I was already used to that. But I did have to get used to not having my regular workouts as well as dealing with new issues with food. I hate having a ton of food in my house at one time, and that’s what I had to do in order to limit how often I got groceries. At the beginning of the pandemic, things were a bit worse for me, but now I am doing grocery delivery a bit more often so I don’t always have a house full of food. And like so many people, I have used food as a coping mechanism over the past year.

I’m not proud that I used food that way, especially because it was a big step backward in getting toward recovery from my eating disorder. But that’s the reality of the situation. And between comfort eating, lower effort workouts, and a general lack of activity; I have put on weight over the past year. I know it could have been much worse, so I am happy that it wasn’t completely out of control. But it’s still frustrating and annoying.

I’m lucky that even with weight gain, the clothes that I’ve been wearing lately still fit me. But most of the clothes I’ve been wearing have been things like leggings and workout pants, so there is a lot of stretch in those and they work when my weight goes up and down. And while I’m fine living in leggings for the most part even when we aren’t in a pandemic, that’s not all I want to wear. I want to feel cute and fashionable. When I’ve had pandemic-safe dates (mainly going to a park and walking or something else outdoors), I don’t want to have to only wear leggings. And right now, other pants I own just aren’t fitting me.

I do have cute dresses and skirts that fit and I’m trying to be more ok with wearing those out and about, but the weight gain has also caused a hit in my confidence and I’m not feeling the same way I used to in dresses and skirts. So even though I didn’t want to spend money because I want to believe I will be fitting in my regular clothes again soon, I had to do some shopping for new jeans so I would have some options to wear.

Jeans are already difficult to shop for in normal times. And that’s when you can go to a store and try them on. Online shopping for jeans (unless they are a reorder of something I already own) is even harder. So I had to suck it up with spending a bit more so I could order different sizes and styles from different places. I only ordered places that had free shipping and easy returns, because I know I will be returning most of what I ordered. But I need to find some jeans that make me happy and feel confident in how I look right now.

And I’m aware that there is a chance I will be back in my other jeans in a few weeks or a month, but I can’t use that as an excuse to not have some options for now. In the past, I have kept so many of my skinny clothes in the hopes I’d be back in them soon. But they are just reminders of where I’m not at the moment. And by not having any jeans that fit me and seeing the ones that don’t fit hanging in my closet, it almost makes me feel like I don’t deserve to wear jeans until I lose weight. And I don’t want to have that mindset. I deserve to feel cute no matter my size and weight. I don’t only have to wear clothes with a lot of stretch to fit me.

Hopefully, at least one pair of what I ordered online will fit me and be the perfect jeans for how I look right now. I want to get back a little confidence and feel like my clothes fit me and look good. I am still going to wear comfortable leggings when I’m just staying home by myself, but I want to have some options for going out since that’s going to be happening more and more in the not too distant future.

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Another Rut In My Life (or Time For Some Shopping)

Posted on June 26, 2019 | Comments Off on Another Rut In My Life (or Time For Some Shopping)

I’ve written about being in ruts before on here. I’ve been in ruts with my work life, my social life, my food, and lots of other things. I think being in ruts is part of why time seems to go by so quickly. When it’s tough to tell the difference from one day to the next, you don’t realize how many days go by. But this time, it’s about a different type of rut that I don’t know if I’ve thought about before. But first, a little backstory.

I’ve had a ton of different jobs in my life. Some of them have been random and sporadic and some have been really serious jobs. I would say that overall my jobs are more casual than office jobs, but I’ve had some jobs that were more serious than most. And with all my jobs, there have been different dress codes and standards I had to meet. I’ve had jobs that have had a required uniform. I’ve had jobs that have such a strict dress code that I had to wear pantyhose or tights if I wore a skirt. And I’ve had jobs that have zero dress code and I can wear whatever I want.

Before my current job that allows me to work from home, the last few jobs I had were pretty casual dress. I could wear jeans and t-shirts and be ok. Sometimes I would dress a little nicer, but there were no requirements I had to meet. I usually tried to stick with more comfortable clothing since I was stuck at a desk for so many hours and I didn’t want to be uncomfortable and squirming around when I should have my focus on work. I usually rotated the same few outfits from week to week since I didn’t care what I looked like. I wasn’t trying to impress anyone and I just had to wear clothes that were appropriate.

Now, I work from home and there is zero dress code or standards. I do get dressed out of my PJs to work, but I’m usually in something that I probably wouldn’t wear in public. Most of the time, I’m wearing some form of yoga pants and a tank top or bralette. If I have something I have to go to after work, I’ll wear the outfit I need to wear for that thing. But more often than not, I don’t have much after work and I don’t care at all about what I wear.

Because of my lack of caring about my clothes, I don’t really wear much of what I have in my closet. Obviously, there are some things I have that wouldn’t be worn at work no matter what. But even my casual clothes aren’t being worn that much. I don’t care to wear them and when I have to find something to wear it has become a bit of a struggle. I haven’t done much clothing shopping lately outside of workout clothes so I’m not very inspired by what I do have in my closet. I also have to deal with severe weight fluctuations that make my clothes tough to wear sometimes. For example, right before my period started I went up 15 pounds overnight. I know that is not real weight I gained, but it makes a lot of my clothes not comfortable or ill-fitting.

I don’t believe I need to wear anything fancy for the time I’m working. Most likely, I will keep my usual work uniform of casual clothes because I do want to be comfortable while working. But I want to have a closet that excites me and makes me want to have places to wear things. I want to look into my closet and so happy I have amazing things to wear. So I’ve been slowly doing some clothing reevaluation.

I don’t want to buy a lot of things because I don’t have the need or the money. But I do want to have fun things and new things to enjoy during the summer. Since I’m not looking for serious pieces or things that I need to last a lifetime, I can look at cheaper clothes that might not last for years. There are a bunch of stores that I like that sell clothing that fits what I’m looking for. I’m also looking at buying things off of Amazon since there are lots of clothing options in my size on there and it seems to be affordable even if they are kind of like throwaway clothes. Again, I don’t need to be creating a wardrobe that lasts for years. I just need some new things to make me feel like I have fun things to wear right now.

I don’t know if buying new clothes will inspire me to go out and do more things, but at least I know that if I find pieces I love that I will be more confident when I’m out and about. Right now, I do feel sloppy a lot because I don’t have clothing that makes me feel put together. I don’t have to dress as I did for my fanciest office job, but I do want to feel cute and stylish. And I know I’m not getting that out of the clothes I have right now.

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Another Adventure In Bra Shopping (or I’m Glad I Took Another Chance)

Posted on March 16, 2018 | Comments Off on Another Adventure In Bra Shopping (or I’m Glad I Took Another Chance)

I’ve written about bra shopping on here before. It was a pretty horrible experience. I was essentially fat shamed for trying to find a sports bra in my size. Since that post, I haven’t really done a proper bra fitting. I did a somewhat decent one at a mall store where I’ve gotten bras in the past, but I knew those bras weren’t the right size. And that store was either unable or unwilling to do a proper fitting for me. But because of my past experience, I was nervous to try another store (because I was never going back to the one that shamed me).

But this week, I realized that I really needed to go get a bra fitting. I had recently bought a new bra at that mall store and it was showing signs of being too big and too small at the same time. I did a little bit of research on where to get a new bra since I’m not someone who fits into most standard sizes. And if they do carry my size, they are a mall store that doesn’t do fittings or they are a store that only has one ugly white/beige/black bra in my size. I wanted to go somewhere that made me feel like a valued customer but was close enough that I didn’t have to drive an hour to get to and that didn’t only sell bras that were double or triple my budget.

But it seemed like I found a pretty great place while doing my research. Jenette Bras had a location that wasn’t that far from my house and while I wouldn’t have as many bras to choose from as some other people, they did carry bras in my size. They specialize in bras that are D cup and up, which is what I needed. I was only nervous about how many options they would have in my band size. But it seemed like they were the best bet for me so I headed there after work this week.

As soon as I walked in, I was greeted by one of the bra fitters and she was super friendly! I explained that I needed a new bra or two and that I was on a budget so I couldn’t afford anything too crazy. She said that would be easy enough to do and she brought me back to one of the fitting rooms. This isn’t a store where you walk around and look at what they offer. You hang out in the fitting room where they figure out your size and then they go and bring bra options that will work. And after each bra you try, they see how the fit is to make any size adjustments and get your opinion to see if the style was right.

I didn’t mind not going around to shop. When I do that, I usually get frustrated by the lack of options in my size. Or I focus too much on price tags when I should be looking at style. And of course, you never know how things will look on your body when they are on a hanger or in a drawer so I’m quick to judge. But since I wasn’t doing the shopping, I got to hang out in the super cute fitting room waiting for options to be brought to me.

When we figured out my proper size, it turns out I was right that my other bra was both too big and too small. My band was too big (yay for losing some inches!) and my cup size was too small (I guess my weight loss wasn’t in my chest?). And once that was figured out, they started to bring back lots of options for me to try on. Some of them were just not my style and some just didn’t fit my body right. But there was never any judgement from anyone at the store about anything I tried on. Even with the ones that didn’t fit my body correctly they never said it was wrong for my body. They just said that it wasn’t the right fit and that they would find something more comfortable.

In the end, I ended up buying 2 new bras. One is similar in style to what I was wearing before (just in the correct size) and the other is different but still cute. Plus, the different one happened to be on sale so it was actually less expensive that the mall bras I had been buying! I also tried on sports bras while I was there since I could always use another one. I did find one I liked, but I didn’t like the color and the brand was going to be coming out with new ones soon. So they wrote down the brand and size for me so I can come back and try them on when they have them in better colors.

Even though the bra that wasn’t on sale was a bit more expensive than I would have liked to have spent, since the other was on sale it pretty much cost me the same for these 2 really nice (and perfectly fitting) bras as it did for 2 of the ill-fitting mall ones! Plus, having a properly fitted bra really does make you look better in clothes! I know that if I lose weight I will need to buy new ones and that can get expensive. But I think this is an expense that is worth it and I can’t skip on buy something because I am hoping I will lose weight. But I also know that when my weight is lower and I need another fitting, I now can go to Jenette Bras and I don’t have to be worried about how I will be treated!

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An Amazing Photo Shoot (or Dress Like A Woman)

Posted on February 14, 2017 | Comments Off on An Amazing Photo Shoot (or Dress Like A Woman)

I know I’ve talked before about trying to not be too political, but I think we are in a time where you can’t just sit back and hope for the best. We need to make sure that our voices are heard by our elected representatives and that we are involved. I’ve been guilty of not doing that much in the past but I’ve realized over the past year how I cannot do that anymore. So I’ve been slowly getting more and more involved in things. I’ve joined Facebook groups and other online communities, I’ve been sending emails/snail mail and calling politicians, and I’ve been more vocal about issues that mean a lot to me.

I know it can be scary to put yourself out there like that, but I was inspired by others do it so I hope that I can inspire others to do the same. Sometimes I don’t know what to do, but I’m lucky that I know people who I can turn to that can give me ideas. And I’m very fortunate that I have friends who come up with amazing ideas that I am able to participate in. And recently, I got to participate in a great photo shoot with Adam Emperor Southard , who did my most recent headshots.

Adam posted on Facebook that he needed some women to participate in the next photo series he wanted to do and it had a political twist to it. That’s all he posted, but I said that I was in and was really excited to hear what it was all about! When he finally shared the idea with all of us who wanted to participate, I was so happy that I took the chance to be a part of it. The idea came from the statement about how President Trump likes women to dress like women when they worked for him. There had been so many posts about what dressing like a woman means since there are so many ways women dress for work. And that’s exactly that this photo series was about.

It was tough for me to think of an outfit that I wanted to wear that represented to me dressing like a woman. I tried on some of my favorite dresses that I don’t get to wear that often, but it didn’t seem right to me to wear something that I only wear on special occasions. I also thought about wearing my working clothes since I feel so empowered while wearing them. But in the end, I wore comfortable clothes that I wear when I’m working (if I’m not wearing workout clothes) including the new hoodie I got that showed to me that my work toward weight loss was paying off.

When I got to Adam’s house for the photo shoot, I was pretty ready to go. I was in the outfit I wanted to wear and had done my hair and makeup at home before going over there. But I wanted to add one more thing to my look which was the new lipstick that I’m in love with. I’ve never been a bit lipstick person, but the first time I tried this color on I felt so beautiful. So I wanted that in my photos.

The first photo was without the pink hat (which Adam had there since I didn’t have one of my own) and it was interesting taking photos that I knew weren’t going to be headshots. I experimented more with my facial expressions and poses and didn’t worry about looking pretty or thin. And the second set of photos was with the hat and I knew it would be a close up. So I thought about all the things I wanted to say to President Trump and let my expression speak for itself.

After I was done with the shoot (it only took a few minutes), Adam let me take peek at some of the photos that he took and I was shocked by how I looked!

I never feel like I can look fierce, but I felt like I really did in these photos! I looked tough and not sweet (like I normally do in photos) and I was so happy with how they looked. I had to wait a few days to see the finished image, but I could not have asked for anything better to be my photo in this series.

I shared this online right away and if you want to see all the photos in this series you can see them on Facebook. And if you are in LA and want to be a part of the series, Adam is still doing more photos so please reach out to him on Facebook!

I know that me doing one photo shoot isn’t going to change the world. But between all the women participating in the series plus all the other work they and I are doing, hopefully we can make some noise and get some people to listen to us.

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Default ThumbnailSelf-Tape Saturday (or Turning A Video Shoot Into A Photo Shoot) Default ThumbnailA Mini Photo Shoot (or Enjoying A Voter Freebie) Default ThumbnailWedding Dress Outing (or Helping A Friend Find The Perfect Dress) Default ThumbnailRenting A Dress (or Testing Out Gwynnie Bee) Default ThumbnailAn Evening Out With Friends (or An Excuse To Dress Up) Default ThumbnailNew Photo (or It Reminds Me of The Old Me)

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Lunch And Shopping (or Proof My Work Is Paying Off)

Posted on January 17, 2017 | Comments Off on Lunch And Shopping (or Proof My Work Is Paying Off)

I’ve been trying to keep up with staying social with my friends when I have free time. It is one of the things I’m focusing on this year so I don’t go too long without seeing friends (which can happen pretty easily). I used to see my friend Lindsay all the time because we would go to the same classes at Orangetheory. But since her schedule changed, we have to make more of an effort to see each other. We did run into each other at Orangetheory when she was taking a class after mine, but that’s not really enough time to catch up. So when she asked if I wanted to get some lunch this past weekend, I said yes right away!

We ended up meeting at 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica, which I usually avoid since it’s so touristy. But for a nice Saturday afternoon, it ended up being not too bad. We met up in front of a store and immediately walked to figure out where we wanted to get some lunch. We went to Steak ‘n Shake since it was a place that neither of us had been to before. Sadly, it ended up being a bad choice (we waited over 20 minutes for our burgers to be brought to our table and the food was cold when we did get it), but since the focus of our hangout was catching up and not the food, it was fine.

After eating, Lindsay had some shopping she wanted to do and I’m always happy to join a friend for shopping. I’ve gotten so used to not being able to try things on at the stores that my friends shop at, so I’m just happy to be the person who shares her opinion on the stuff others try on. Lindsay was on the hunt for some shoes and we checked out a couple of stores. She wasn’t able to find what she wanted, but it was fun checking out a bunch of different stores since so many places were having sales.

Toward the end of 3rd Street, there is an Athleta store. I’ve never shopped there before, but I’ve gotten their catalog before and knew that their clothes wouldn’t fit me based on their size guide. They do sell some plus size clothes, but I don’t believe they carry those in the store (so many companies only carry the plus size section on the website). But I do love shopping for workout clothes so I was happy just to see what they had and maybe I would find things that I would want to get when I was able to fit in them.

When we went into the store, someone greeted us immediately and told us that all sale things were discounted even further, and we decided to see what there was since you can’t do much better than sale items being on sale. The sale section was organized by size and I was looking at the XL stuff to see if there was anything that looked big enough to fit me. I found a zip up shirt that looked cute and realized that it might be something perfect to wear when I have liver surgery (I’ve read online that since my stomach will be very sore, it might be tough to lift my arms up to pull shirts on). I decided to try it on over my shirt to see how it fit and it was a little baggy on me.

I found the same shirt in L and tried it on. It was a bit snug, but Lindsay had me try both the XL and L on and she agreed that the L was the way to go. I was so shocked to fit into a L! I know that there is vanity sizing and all that, but Athleta is owned by the same parent company as Old Navy (where I have been getting all my workout stuff) and I’ve been wearing XXL in those. I’ve been wearing those shirts for a while and I started to think that maybe I could fit into smaller clothes than I’ve been wearing.

I looked through the rest of the sale stuff in L (the non-sale stuff is out of my budget for now) and found a cute sweater that I wanted to try on. And I was shocked to see that it fit too! It’s a little tighter than it shows on the model online, but it fits and I feel really cute in it!

I know that I shouldn’t buy stuff just because I like what the size on the table says, but it was pretty amazing to know that I was buying 2 shirts that are not a plus size but just a regular L. I’ve plateaued lately with my weight loss and even though I’m still down quite a bit from even a few months ago, it can feel like I haven’t changed at all in the last year. So getting shirts that prove me otherwise is a really nice thing!

After that shopping stop, it was time for Lindsay and I to each head back to our cars to head home. I’m so glad that she and I were able to get together. Obviously I love getting to catch up with friends, especially friends that I was so used to seeing twice a week before. But I’m also so happy that she convinced me to try on some clothes when I was so sure that there was no way they could fit me. She pushed me out of my comfort zone and it ended up being a great thing for me!

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Default ThumbnailThis Weekend’s Shopping Adventure (or Still Trying to Find Some More Cute Dresses) Default ThumbnailPlus Sized Workouts (or Are Clothing Companies Trying To Keep Me Heavy?) Default ThumbnailAnother Adventure In Bra Shopping (or I’m Glad I Took Another Chance) Default ThumbnailBuilding Upon My Monthly Challenge (or Continuing To Work On Shopping) Default ThumbnailQuick Family Visit (or My Extra Long Lunch From Work) Default ThumbnailAnother Rut In My Life (or Time For Some Shopping)

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A Major Cleanup (or Saying Goodbye To The Old Me)

Posted on January 14, 2016 | 1 comment

A long time ago, I wrote about how I was having issues getting rid of my old clothes. Every single thing in those under bed storage bags had sentimental value to me. There were dresses that I loved, the perfect jeans that I found and bought in every color (it’s not easy finding jeans), and fun clothes that I got as gifts over the years.

I’ve always figured that if I got down to those sizes again, I’ll pull the clothes out of the bag and wear them again. But that post about not getting rid of my clothes was over 3 years ago. I’ve been holding on to those clothes for over 6 years. I don’t have a ton of storage space, but since they were kept under my bed I didn’t think too much about it.

But the other day I just got fed up. I don’t need to keep reminders of who I was when I was at my skinniest. So I took an afternoon, opened up the bags, and started sorting things out.

There were some things that I knew I wouldn’t get rid of. Those included my high school prom dress, my absolute favorite pair of jeans from my skinniest (but only one pair), 2 designer dresses that I got at a discount store and had tailored to fit, and a workout jacket that I love. But almost everything else in those bags I felt could go. I don’t care about a lot of the shirts and sweaters I had been storing. I don’t need to have jeans in every size. So many things aren’t really in fashion right now. And it’s not just that. When I lose weight, I might lose it in a different way so even if I got down to that size again I wouldn’t necessarily fit into those pieces.

After going through my under bed storage and closet (I had a couple of things in there that I didn’t need to keep), I moved on to my entry closet where I keep coats, shoes, and purses. I wasn’t going to get rid of any shoes (I had done that lately and while I have more shoes than some, I don’t have a ton). I got rid of some hoodies that I got at old day jobs and a jacket that I got on clearance but never really loved.

And I seriously had too many purses. I pulled out some of the fancier ones and I have friends who are going to trade me or buy them from me. But I had a lot of purses that I got at a cheap store to wear with a particular outfit and never used the purse again. Or they were so small that they weren’t really ever used because I couldn’t put my phone in there. Like the clothes, there were some purses that were kept for pure sentimental value. I have one designer purse that my grandma gave to me after she heard me say how much I’d love to own one one day (she had the purse and never used it). But I probably pulled 10 purses out of my closet to donate.

In the end, I had 4 very full bags of clothes and purses to donate to people who could really use and need them.

Clothes Donations

It felt so good to get all that stuff out of my house. I don’t miss them at all and things feel less cluttered than they did before. And I’ve rediscovered some clothes and purses that I had forgotten about because they were buried under all the other stuff.

After getting rid of all those clothes and purses, I also felt inspired to work on clearing out my fridge, freezer, and pantry. I’ve bought food that I felt that I should eat. I had some frozen fish, different veggie patties, and other quick meal things. I never ate any of them because they don’t taste good to me. There’s no need for me to keep healthy food in my house that I don’t eat. So a friend of mine took the perishable food from me and I donated the non-perishable stuff. I didn’t replace it with unhealthy things, but I wanted my healthy choices to make me happy and not make me feel guilty that I should eat them. My healthy options don’t have to match everyone else’s.

I probably spent a good chunk of my afternoon and evening cleaning out things from my house, but it feels so amazing now that it’s done. My clothes are only things that I wear now and make me happy. And my fridge and freezer doesn’t make me feel horrible when I’m looking for something to eat and nothing seems good to me. I’m making my house make me happy, and it’s working and I feel the results from that already.

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A Week Of Workout Wins (Or 3 Days Of Awesomeness)

Posted on July 27, 2015 | Comments Off on A Week Of Workout Wins (Or 3 Days Of Awesomeness)

I might have only had 3 workouts this week (I’m not trying to make 3 workout weeks a habit but my schedule is tough right now), but I really had 3 amazing workouts. And it wasn’t just what I got done in the class, it was a bunch of other things too.

To start with my wins in the workout, I did continue to push myself on the treadmill a bit more. I was able to do more on Monday than on Wednesday or Friday because I started the increased dosage of Vyvanse on Wednesday (so I had to be careful with my heart rate). I wasn’t able to push myself with the weights as much as I would have liked, but I did experiment with a heavier weight and heavier medicine ball for a bit. I wasn’t able to do it all with the heavier things, but at least I tried.

Now for the things that totally made my workout week.

On Monday I was hanging out in the lobby waiting for the last class to end so I could go into the room and get my treadmill (I’m particular about what treadmill I use). I noticed that there was a guy who looked familiar in the room, but I couldn’t get a good look at him. But I looked up at the heart rate monitor screen above the treadmills and saw my friend Sean’s name up there! Sean and I worked together at Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios years ago and I haven’t seen him in forever!

After his class ended, I went up to him to say hi and he seemed pretty happy to see me too!

HHN OTF

He actually was talking to people in the lobby during my class so when my class ended he and I got to catch up for a bit. That really made my day on Monday!

Then on Wednesday I got to Orangetheory and signed in. The manager said that she had something for me. She brought out a box that had old ink cartridges in it! I had mentioned a few weeks ago to the owner that I recycle ink to help pay for my Disneyland pass and he saved their inks for me! That was so awesome and made me feel so special! Now I have another $10 toward my pass (and they said that they would continue to save inks for me).

OTF Ink

And finally, on Friday I had a non-scale victory (which I needed because I haven’t had a lot of victories on the scale lately). I’ve gotten all of my workout clothes from Old Navy. They really seem to be the only company that has cute workout clothes in my size (and workout pants that don’t look like diapers on me). I’ve mainly bought workout pants in black so they go with any of the tank tops I own. I’ve gotten a couple of pairs of patterned workout pants but have never looked how they looked on me.

I recently took advantage of a promo code at Old Navy that you could use on clearance clothes. I was able to get workout pants for about $10 each! I got some basic black ones and another pair of patterned ones. And this past Friday, I finally felt comfortable enough to wear them to my workout!

Old Navy Pants

I’m kind of in love with those pants. They were so comfortable and I think they looked really cute too! I’m thinking about trying the other patterned ones that I have and have only worn at home again. Maybe now I can be confident enough to wear them in workouts (which is why I bought them).

I love that this past week of workouts were so positive for me. I haven’t really been in a workout slump but I did hit a bit of a personal slump lately. I working on getting out of that as quickly as possible. Hopefully with my workout being so awesome it can now spread to other things being awesome as well!

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