Tag Archives: birthday

A Birthday Celebration (or An Orangetheory Reunion)

Posted on December 15, 2015 | 1 comment

When I started working out at Orangetheory, I didn’t have any expectations of making new friends there. I wasn’t thinking that people would be mean or anything, but I’ve never really made friends in a workout setting before. The closest I had to friends at a workout place was meeting someone at Richard Simmons who mentioned having an opening at her work and I ended up working for her (and she and I are friends now).

I’ve worked really hard at making friends as an adult, and I think that there is something about Orangetheory that just lends itself to people becoming friends. I’ve made some really good friends there, but the people I think I’ve become closest to are Lindsay and Sarah.

The 3 of us used to always work out together on Wednesdays and Fridays. But now Sarah goes to the Santa Monica location and Lindsay goes to the West Hollywood location. So we don’t see each other that often. So when Lindsay invited me to her birthday party, I said yes right away! And when I found out Sarah would be there too, I got even more excited!

The party was at Toca Madera, which is pretty close to where I live. I had never been there before, but I had checked out the menu ahead of time and it was pretty much healthy Mexican food.

Toca Madera

The restaurant was pretty crowded and loud, but we were seated in the back room. It was still a bit loud, but it was much more relaxing than near the bar in the front. And we were seated below this amazing tree with tons of lights and lanterns on it. It was gorgeous!

Lit Tree

There were 10 of us at dinner, so we got a couple of orders of guacamole to share at the table. And the restaurant serves tortillas and butter (instead of bread and butter) so we got a decent amount of food in before our dinners arrived. And one of Lindsay’s friends who wasn’t able to be at the party had ordered champagne for the table!

Birthday Girl

For dinner, I got fajitas (or the closest thing to fajitas there is). It was perfectly cooked and delicious and I was very happy with my order.

Dinner

There were several pages of tacos that you could get, and most of the girls at dinner got one or two orders of tacos. I know I need to go back another time so I can test out some of the tacos and sides (I got a taste of their street corn and it was amazing!).

Another one of Lindsay’s friends brought an ice cream cake. So after the dinner dishes were cleared, the cake came out.

Birthday Cake

It turns out that this type of ice cream cake is Lindsay’s favorite and she was so excited to see that someone had arranged for it to be there! I really enjoyed it, but it was a bit cold inside the restaurant (they had one of the skylights open and it is brisk in LA now). But I still finished it because I’m also a huge fan of ice cream cake!

Before I knew it, it was time for me to head home. I wished I could have stayed longer, but it was already pretty late for me and I knew I had to be up early the next morning. But before I left, I had to get a picture with Lindsay and Sarah.

OTF Friends

I’m so happy that Lindsay invited me (and Sarah) to celebrate her birthday with her. It was really awesome to get to be there and I love that my workout friends have become more than workout friends. We try to hang out when we can and even though we don’t see each other on a regular basis anymore, it’s ok because I appreciate the random times we see each other even more.

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Posted in Celebrations, Food, Fun Stuff

Tagged birthday, birthday party, dinner, friends, Orangetheory, party, workout

Checking Out A Local Restaurant (or A Birthday and Pizza)

Posted on December 8, 2015 | 1 comment

This past Saturday was my friend Dani’s birthday. I’ve definitely gotten to know Dani well over the past year. Between our season tickets to Pantages and her now working out with me at Orangetheory, she’s no longer just a friend of a friend. So I was super excited to be invited to her birthday party and getting to celebrate with her!

I had to work my second box office job on Saturday (making it a double work day), so I knew that I was going to be a bit late. But fortunately, I thought the show was later than it was so I wasn’t as late as I thought I’d have to be!

The party was held at Bella Vista, a Brazilian pizza place that’s pretty close to my house. But I had actually never been there before! It was described to me as all you can eat pizza, so I was pretty excited to check out the offerings.

The way it worked was that the servers came around from time to time with different pizza options. If you wanted a slice (or two) of that pizza you let them know. If you don’t want that pizza, another one will be by soon.

I sat next to Sarah (who was also part of the Pantages tickets group) and she had been to Bella Vista a couple of times before. So she was helping me know what pizzas are crowd favorites and what was on some of the pizzas that I was unsure about. And since the slices are on the smaller side, you can try a bunch of pizzas without filling too disgustingly full.

I pretty much had basic pizza while I was there. I enjoyed the four cheese and margarita pizzas. And I tried the fried garlic one because that was Sarah’s favorite (I agree that it’s pretty awesome!). And then I got a bit more adventurous and tried one that had bacon and spinach on it (I’m not normally big on the bacon/spinach combo but this was yummy).

After getting our fill of savory pizzas, it was time for the sweet pizzas to come out. I had the chocolate strawberry and the caramel coconut ones and they were ok (I think the savory pizzas were better). After all of that pizza, I was beyond full!

There was a pretty big group at dinner and I didn’t know everyone so I stuck with staying next to Sarah. And Dani came over to chat with us too. And my friend Kate (who is the one who introduced me to Dani) flew in for the party and ended up staying at my place that night (it was a nice little mini-visit with Kate).

I think that Dani had a pretty amazing birthday dinner. I had a great time and I know that I’ll be going back to Bella Vista for pizza in the future. There are a bunch of other adventurous pizzas that I didn’t feel gutsy enough to try then that I’d like to try now! Hopefully I’ll think of a good excuse to have all you can eat pizza soon!

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Posted in Celebrations, Food, Fun Stuff

Tagged birthday, dinner, friends

Out Of The Heat (or Finally Getting A/C!)

Posted on September 10, 2015 | 7 comments

I’ve been complaining about the heat in my house since my very first summer here. Because my house is so old, the insulation is pretty bad. So when it gets hot in LA, the heat gets trapped inside even if it cools down outside in the evening. There have been plenty of nights where it’s over 90 degrees inside my bedroom when I was going to bed.

I have never really lived in a place with a/c (my last apartment had it but it was facing a wall in the kitchen so it was useless). And I wanted to get some sort of a/c for my house. But there were issues from the beginning. Until recently, my house had fuses and there wasn’t enough power to run an a/c. Then when I got circuits, I was told that I would have to still watch how much power I used because there is still very little power in my place.

Next was the issue of trying to find a portable a/c unit that wasn’t a swamp cooler (because it does get too humid in LA to use one) and didn’t use a ton of power. Once I found that, then it was the issue of finding one that wasn’t insanely expensive. I never found anything that seemed right to me so I never got a portable a/c unit.

I was talking to my landlord last month and we were making small talk about the heat. I mentioned the lack of a/c and he said that because of my house set up I was pretty limited in my options. I said how I really wanted to put a window unit in my dining room, and he said that it couldn’t block the communal driveway (my dining room looks onto the driveway and there is about a foot of room between my wall and the driveway path). With that new restriction, I started to do some research again.

I actually found a low profile window a/c that doesn’t stick out that far and is energy-efficient so it doesn’t go over the power limit I have in my house! And since I hadn’t asked for anything for my birthday from my parents, they agreed to buy it for me!

Once I knew it was on its way, I had to figure out how I’d install it. Fortunately, the directions were available online so my dad and I both researched them. And when I was at brunch with my friend Jane a week ago, I mentioned the new a/c unit and she said that she had installed one before! So she agreed to help me out when it was here!

This past Sunday was installation day. Prior to that, I had made a trip to Home Depot because my dad discovered some fine print in the directions that would require me to drill a piece of wood onto my window sill. And my dad and I had multiple FaceTime calls so he could look at what I was doing.

It was actually pretty funny when we were on FaceTime trying to figure this all out.

On Sunday, there were dozens of phone calls/FaceTime calls to my dad while Jane and I were working and then we also had to make another Home Depot run. But after a couple of attempts (and thanks to my power drill and saw that my dad got me years ago), we were able to install it!

I’m sure this sounds silly, but even in the couple of days that I’ve had it this a/c unit has made a huge difference in my life! I got it installed just in time for another heat wave in LA and I’m finally getting to work in my house in reasonable temperatures.

I’m still super nervous about how much more expensive my power bill will be, but there was a little guide on the a/c unit that said if you ran the until 8 hours a day for 3 months it would only cost an extra $48 a year. Hopefully that’s true.

I’m so glad that my parents were generous enough to get me this a/c unit. I’m so happy that I was able to install it and that Jane was willing to help me (and we did this in the heat since the a/c wasn’t in yet!). And I’m so excited that I will not feel as sick inside my house during a heat wave and feel trapped since I have to work in my house.

Hopefully when I eventually move one day this a/c unit is as easy to uninstall as it was to install. This thing is totally coming with me wherever I go!

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Posted in Family, Fun Stuff, Shopping

Tagged birthday, heat, home, Los Angeles, parents, presents

Continuing The Birthday Fun (or Pie and Makeup)

Posted on August 13, 2015 | Comments Off

Even though my birthday had ended, I wasn’t ready to end the celebrating quite yet. I had a couple of other birthday deals I wanted to take advantage of, so I did some of them on Monday (my day off from the day job).

First on the birthday agenda was Marie Callendars for birthday pie. This has been a tradition for a while because they send you a coupon for $5 off an entree plus a free slice of pie. So I went with my friend Emily to the location that we like the most.

I hadn’t seen Emily in a while. Our schedules just haven’t been matching up and we haven’t been attending the same events lately. So it was awesome to get to see her and hear about all the adventures she’s been on lately. She’s got a new gig as a writer for the LA Kings (she’s a super fan) so that was really fun to hear about.

Emily and I both got some yummy food, but we were both saving plenty of room for the pie!

We got the chocolate satin pie (which we get every time) and the lemon cream cheese pie. They were both delicious but I was so full after eating!

I had something that I had to attend that evening in the same area as where we got lunch, so I decided to try to stick around there for the afternoon instead of going home. I went through my birthday deals that I had left, and decided to go over to Sephora for my free birthday gift!

I also picked up a few other things while I was there (I had a few things I needed but hadn’t had a chance to go to a Sephora location recently), but I was most excited for the freebie!

I don’t usually wear lipstick because I’m a lip balm addict (I use Natural Ice as my balm of choice), and if I wear lipstick I can’t put on more lip balm. But I’ve also been saying that I’d love to have a great red lipstick to wear for special occasions. So this freebie was perfect! I haven’t had a chance to wear it yet, but I’m sure I will soon. I’m not very good about putting on makeup, but I think that I can do lipstick ok (unlike eyeliner).

After my Sephora run, I had to get to my evening event so I wasn’t able to do any more of the birthday deals on my list. I don’t think I’m going to do them all this year. But there are maybe 1 or 2 more that I know that I want to take advantage of before the month (and the deals are over).

I know I’ve said this every year, but I love how I can just extend my birthday to be the entire month!

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Posted in Beauty, Celebrations, Food, Fun Stuff

Tagged birthday, birthday deals, food, free, lunch, makeup

My Birthday! (or Laundry, A Bike Ride, and Dinner!)

Posted on August 12, 2015 | 4 comments

My actual birthday was a pretty awesome day! It didn’t start off so awesome, though. Last week the dryer where I live was broken. It got fixed, but at some point during the week both the washer and dryer broke. I had no idea until I tried to do laundry on Sunday morning. So at 7:30am I put all my dirty clothes in my car and went back to the laundromat. It costs almost 4 times what it costs at my place to do laundry, but I needed clean clothes! Fortunately, I got a couple of birthday phone calls while I was there so that helped to pass the time.

After I got home with my clean clothes, it was off to the first part of my birthday adventure. CicLAvia is an event in LA where they shut down a major street (or several major streets) to non-motorized traffic only. So you can bike ride, skate, or walk without fear of being hit by a car. CicLAvia not only happened to be on my birthday this year, the street that was shut down was only blocks from my house! So even though I don’t ride my bike in traffic, I rode the few blocks in traffic to get to the street that was closed down to cars.

I was hoping that I’d be able to ride with a couple of friends, but it was too difficult trying to coordinate schedules (and some friends were also still searching for bikes that they could rent). So I went off on my own for a nice bike ride.

I don’t get to ride my bike that often. Like I said, I don’t ride where there is traffic (I’m a good bike rider, but cars intimate me) and it’s not fun to have to get my bike into my car. So I know that I could ride more often if it was more convenient. There may be a new bike ride near my house in a year or two, but until then I have limited biking practice.

When I do go out on my bike, it’s usually a pretty short ride of 2 or 3 miles (getting the bike in and out of my car takes up so much time). But for this ride I decided to just ride until I started to feel a bit tired and then turn around. I forgot to turn on a tracking app on my phone when I started my ride, so I didn’t get my mileage count until I got home and could map it out.

That’s the farthest I’ve ridden on my bike since I got it! My legs definitely felt it after the ride was done. But I was able to relax at home before the second part of my birthday.

I didn’t want to do a big party for my birthday because they are too stressful to organize. But I did want something different from going to a bar. So I invited a bunch of people to come out to dinner, and we had a nice little group there!

Yes, my birthday dinner was 6 girls and 1 guy, but I don’t think he was complaining. It was a really fun dinner with lots of great conversation. And I had some really delicious food!

After dinner, my friends had set it up for the waiter to bring a slice of cake with a candle in it. But we were all so full from our food that between all of us we maybe ate 1/10th of the cake slice.

Between my birthday outings, the phone calls I got, the Facebook notes, and the gifts that friends and family gave me; I had a really amazing birthday. I know that I say that every year, but it’s so true. My birthday was pretty much perfect (I wish the laundry wasn’t broken) and I have no idea on how to top it next year!

But even though the calendar says my birthday is done, I’m not done celebrating quite yet!

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Posted in Celebrations, Food, Fun Stuff

Tagged bike, birthday, dinner, friends

Birthday Twin Dinner (or Zero Dollar Bill)

Posted on August 11, 2015 | 1 comment

As I have done for the past couple of birthdays, I joined my birthday twin Joanna at Truxton’s for our completely free birthday meal. We actually did our birthday dinner before our birthdays this year. It worked out well with our schedules, so we went for it.

Usually, the birthday promo is good for one free entrée and one free dessert per person. You don’t have to order anything outside of the free food to get the deal (which is unique and what makes it my favorite birthday deal), so Joanna and I have always gotten an entrée and dessert each and ended up with a zero dollar bill. But this year, they changed their promo. This time you would get $20 of free food per person. This could include entrees, desserts, appetizers, or even drinks. And there was no minimum purchase so we knew that a 100% free bill was possible still. So between the two of us, we had $40 to spend and endless options from the menu.

I had thought long and hard about what I was going to order before going to Truxton’s, but I was still undecided because I wanted to make sure that Joanna and I got a 100% free meal. We had to figure out how much we could each spend on each part of the meal. We did some calculations and figured out exactly what we would have after we figured out the appetizer and dessert we were going to split (yes, those had to be figured out first). And since my entrée was cheaper than what I was able to “spend”, Joanna got some of my extra money for her entrée. I was actually very happy with our food choices. Normally we get the 2 free desserts, but we never need both. But to be able to get an appetizer made me pretty happy.

As always the food was fabulous. We got monkey bread as our appetizer, I got the chicken dinner that I had last year as my entrée, and we got the apple tart for dessert (which we’ve actually never gotten before over the years).

We had a bit of a snafu when we got our bill at first. It showed that we had a bill for a couple of dollars. After figuring out that we were charged for one incorrect entrée, we got a new bill which showed that we have continued our tradition of a zero dollar bill at Truxton’s. Even though our bill was nothing, we still like to leave a big tip. The waitress we had this year was actually the same waitress that we had last year, and she remembered us as the 100% free birthday girls. The tip that we ended up leaving equal about 50% of what the bill would have been, so I think that’s pretty good.

Joanna and I joked about how we need to figure out how to make this work and include drinks as part of our free $40 and Truxton’s money. It may involve not getting much food, but free drinks sounds pretty awesome. We’ve got an entire year before we have our free birthday meal again, and I’m sure will have it figured out by then. Then again, Truxton’s may change their birthday club within the next year and then we’ll have to figure it out all over again.

This was the perfect way to kick off my birthday celebrations (as always there were multiple celebrations). And tomorrow I will share with you all the fun that I had on my actual birthday!

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Posted in Celebrations, Food, Fun Stuff

Tagged birthday, birthday deals, birthday twin, dinner, food, free

My Last Workouts of Being 31 (or 174 Workouts)

Posted on August 10, 2015 | 1 comment

This past week of workouts was intense for me. The workouts were harder than they have been in a while (several people said that so it’s not just me), I finally did 4 workouts again in a week after several weeks of only 3 workouts, and I pushed myself harder than ever to celebrate my last 4 workouts of being 31.

This week had a bunch of run/row days. I personally like those because I’m not a huge fan of the treadmill. So when it’s a run/row day, you don’t spend as much time as usual on the treadmill. During the run/row days, we sometimes have longer treadmill segments, but sometimes we have sprints. And on Monday we had sprint segments. Those short segments were perfect for me to test out if I could bump up the speed a bit more on the treadmill.

I was able to do several of those run segments at 3.8 and 3.9 miles an hour. And for one I did it at 4.0 miles an hour, but that was starting to hurt me and make my heart rate up too high so I brought it down a bit. I’m still struggling with increasing my base pace, but it’s nice to know that I’m able to get sprints in a bit. I think that since 4.0 seems to be too fast for me (at least for now), I really want to try to focus on stepping up my base pace. That is important for me to do in order to increase my 5K time. I’ve got about 3 months before my next race, so I’m feeling like it’s time to get more into training mode.

Besides progress on the treadmill, I finally was able to make some improvements with my strength workout! I know I’ve been talking about hoping to do that for awhile, I just was too scared to do it. I’m still using the same weights for many of my strength exercises, but I’m definitely experimenting a bit with the heavier weights. I finally had a chance to use the heavier ones on Saturday. We had a strength block were all the exercises were 6 reps each. That’s nothing. Especially when in the block before it there were 20 reps each. So since the rep count was so low, I knew that this was my chance to work with the heavier weights.

For my pullovers (when you lay on the weight bench with your arms behind you and pull your arms up toward your stomach) I usually was using 15 pound weights. But we were encouraged to go for it and see what we could do. I went for 25 pound weights. It was tough and my arms were shaking, but I did it! I wasn’t able to do the bicep curls with the 25 pound weight, but just doing it for the pullovers was better than nothing.

And finally, this week I did my last workouts of being 31. I celebrated turning 31 at Orangetheory last year. That was at the beginning of my Orangetheory journey. I added up how many workouts I did between that birthday and this birthday. And as you can guess from the title of this post, I did 174 workouts. I was shocked by that number. I had set a goal of doing 175 workouts in 2015. That goal was set after my birthday (obviously since my birthday is in August and I set that goal in January). So the first few months of the last year of workouts was before that goal was set, and therefore before I really starting tracking my workouts. Even without tracking for those few months, I still was only 1 workout away from what I now have as my 2015 goal. That makes me think that maybe my goal was set too low.

I think that those 174 workouts were amazing. I think I’ve made some serious progress in my fitness and I think that others are able to see it as well. I’m seriously so beyond grateful that I found my workout home at Orangetheory. I love that the people who work there are awesome and that they care about the people who work out there (and not just because they are paid to).

So that’s the end of my workouts as a 31-year-old. Now to see what great things I can accomplish in my workouts as a 32-year-old!

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Posted in Celebrations, Fitness, Fun Stuff

Tagged birthday, fitness, Orangetheory, progress, workout

Goodbye 31 (or Hello 32!)

Posted on August 7, 2015 | Comments Off

First of all, this is my 800th blog post! That’s so crazy! I feel like I need to start planning something amazing to do for my 1000th post now!

Anyway, back to today’s post!

This weekend is my birthday! As you know I look forward to my birthday every year. I enjoy all the freebies that I can, and I get to see so many of my friends over my birthday adventures.

This is always a busy time for celebrations for my family. Not only is it my birthday on Sunday, it is my cousin’s birthday and my parents’ anniversary today! I like having all these celebrations at the same time. Sometimes being at the tail end of all the celebrations isn’t fun, but that’s ok. The best time with the celebrations back to back was when my entire family traveled to Africa for my grandparents’ 50th anniversary. While we were in Africa, we celebrated my cousin’s birthday, my parents’ anniversary, and my birthday. That birthday is still one of the most memorable ones for me (and not just because I had the worst food poisoning of my life the night before my birthday).

I know many people my age hate getting older, but it doesn’t bother me at all. Maybe that’s because I don’t look my age, or maybe that’s because in the acting world I play younger than my real age. In fact, there are times that I forget my real age and only remember my acting age. That always makes for an awkward moment when I’m having to think about how old I am.

Getting older doesn’t scare me at all either. I’m not in the place I thought I would be when I’m 32, but I also never knew I could be in the place that I am in right now either. I have a really amazing life. I have really amazing friends who love and support me 100%. I am living in my dream city and working on making my dream career come true. I always thought by the time I was 30 that I would be married and have kids. By 32 I figured I’d be living a stay-at-home mom life and maybe still pursuing acting.. I still have the dream of getting married and having kids, but I don’t feel the same time crunch that I imagined in my 20’s.

Turning 32 isn’t a milestone birthday. But whenever I try to do things for milestone birthdays, they’ve never happen the way that I wanted them to. I remember my 21st birthday, I was supposed to have a ton of friends come meet me at a restaurant so we could celebrate my first legal drink. Throughout the day, friends were contacting me saying that something came up or there was a family emergency. I didn’t feel like I was being bailed on, most of these people had real conflicts and it didn’t help that I had done the planning at the last-minute. In the end it was me and two friends celebrating that first legal drink. But I wouldn’t change a thing about it. It also stands out in my mind how the morning after my 21st birthday, I had to be at work at 7 AM. So there was not a lot of drinking to be done that night. So I don’t see the point in trying to make milestone birthdays special (unless I’m not planning it).

I wrote about my 30th birthday on the blog. While it was a milestone birthday, it was still a relatively low-key birthday celebration. For some reason, turning 31 seemed like a much bigger deal than turning 30. Turning 32 feels more like turning 30 but it did turning 31.

I’ve got lots of fun things planned for my birthday this year. I’ll be sharing them over the next couple of blog posts. I’m doing things a little bit more low-key this year than I have in the past, but that’s exactly how I want them to be.

I’m going into my 32nd year a much stronger, confident, happier person than I was before. This is exactly how I want to start my 32nd birthday. While I’ve had struggles and challenges this past year, I wouldn’t change one thing. Each of the struggles has improved me. While I would like to believe that I would still be the same way even without these challenges, I know that without them I never would have been able to build myself to be the way that I am.

So here’s the last few days of being 31! And here’s to making 32 my most amazing year ever!

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Posted in Celebrations, Fun Stuff

Tagged birthday, birthday party, friends, happiness, party

Happy Hour Birthday Dinner (or Just Having A Nice Catch Up Chat)

Posted on July 24, 2015 | 1 comment

My friend Rayshell’s birthday just passed. Instead of doing another big birthday party, she decided that she wanted to do a couple of one-on-one dinners with her friends. Since Rayshell and I do fairly regular happy hours, we combined our happy hour gathering with a birthday dinner!

We usually alternate meeting on my side of town and Rayshell’s side of town. But since I had to be on my side of town pretty late in the afternoon, Rayshell was awesome and agreed to stay on the westside.

We met up at Bossa Nova. It’s a Brazilian place that I’ve passed a million times but have never gone to. I thought at first it was a Brazilian steakhouse, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was more sandwiches, salads, and pastas.

We started off with some yummy cheesy bread (that we ate so fast that I didn’t get a photo of it) and we each got a sandwich.

It was a nice chill hangout. Of course, we talked a lot about her wedding planning. I really loved hearing about what she’s got set for her wedding so far. I already know that it’s going to be an amazing event and I’ve been trying to plan what I want to wear even though it’s months away!

Beyond the wedding discussion, we really had what most people would consider a boring conversation. We discussed our day jobs (we both have had a slower summer at work). We talked about random acting stuff like new headshots and a film that Rayshell just booked (that wasn’t boring to hear about!). And we talked about random stuff that is happening in our lives.

While it is fun to go out and do adventures with my friends (I’m going on one with Rayshell this weekend), it’s also so nice to just have a simple dinner and chat with a friend as well. I feel like these chats are what help keep my friendships grounded and strong. We all live such crazy lives and it’s easy to either let a ton of time pass without connecting or forget that we haven’t had a catch up chat in a while.

I know that I need to make this effort with more of my friends (especially my LA based friends). There are some friends who I feel like I’ve seen lately because we are connected on social media but when I look back at my calendar I haven’t seen them in months or even close to a year! I know that this isn’t their fault or my fault, it just happens. But now that I’m aware of it I’m going to work on fixing that.

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Posted in Celebrations, Food, Fun Stuff

Tagged birthday, dinner, friends, happy hour

Feeling Like Something’s Missing (or Getting Sad In The Greeting Card Aisle)

Posted on May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Today would have been my grandpa’s 93rd birthday. It’s the first holiday/event that would have celebrated him since he passed away (Mother’s Day doesn’t count).

I’ve been lucky that I’ve only lost a few people in my life, but the first time that I have to skip over buying them a card for something I would have celebrated in the past has always been the toughest for me. I have even forgotten that people have passed away and have bought them cards and didn’t realize the mistake until after I got home.

My calendar alerts me to all birthdays/anniversaries/holidays 2 weeks in advance so I have time to get a card and mail it out. I can’t seem to delete events of people who have passed away. I still get a reminder for Keri’s birthday (I also could never forget it since it’s the day between my cousin’s birthday and my birthday). It breaks my heart a little bit having that reminder come up, but I can’t seem to get rid of it. I don’t get rid of phone numbers or emails either. Somehow that doesn’t seem right to do.

It feels so weird to not be on the lookout for the perfect birthday card for my grandpa. Getting cards for him were always a bit of a challenge. My grandma is easy (anything with butterflies), but my grandpa wasn’t a fan of sappy cards. I’d try to find one with a dirty joke because that was more his style.

And with my grandpa’s birthday so close to Father’s Day, I usually make one trip to the store to get his birthday card and Father’s Day cards for him and my dad. This time, instead of getting 3 cards I’m only getting 1.

I’ve wondered why my grandpa’s death hasn’t felt real for me. It’s weird. Even after my mom called to tell me and other family members started to call or post things on Facebook, I wondered if it was a big mistake (I felt the same way when my mom told me she had cancer). Seeing my grandma in the apartment alone or now in her new apartment didn’t make it seem real either. It almost feels like he was out doing an errand or at the hospital or something. I do sometimes do a double take when I see things that belonged to my grandparents in my house. It feels weird having those items here when they have always belonged to them (and I can picture exactly where they were in both their old house and recent apartment).

But not getting the cards that I have gotten for forever really make me realize that he’s gone and that I don’t have to buy his cards anymore. I’m not necessarily sad. I am sad for the loss my family has had, you can only admire how full of a life he lived. I hope that I can get to 92. I think grief and loss for me is not as much being sad as it is trying to think about all of the positives and trying to do things that I know would make that person happy.

So tonight after my workout, I plan on having a martini with a blue cheese olive (using the martini swords) and doing a toast to my grandpa and to the other people who I have loved and lost.

Cheers to you Grandpa.

Comments Off on Feeling Like Something’s Missing (or Getting Sad In The Greeting Card Aisle)

Posted in Family, Tough Stuff

Tagged birthday, death, drinks, grandparents

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