This week has been a really rough week for me. I was prepared for feeling awful this week, but I wasn’t really prepared for much more than that. But it seems like this week, everything just decided to make life more stressful.
Not counting having Instagram being down while I was trying to work, this week has been exceptionally stressful at work. There is someone new being trained, so things won’t be dependent on me as much. But right now, I’m working full time and I’m pretty much the only one covering the work that 2 of us used to cover. And there have been a few extra things that needed to be done this week that aren’t normal tasks. So I had to cover my usual work plus the extra stuff. And since this wasn’t a part of my normal work, I didn’t have a great way to be efficient. I needed to pull data from different places, and I’m sure there was a way to do it faster than I did. But I didn’t want to waste time trying to figure that out. So I just did it the way that made sense.
And feeling bad this week was expected, but it’s also always really rough on me. I never know how I will feel or how I will react to my medications. This time they are working better than most times, but I still just have this general feeling of uneasiness and sickness. I’m glad I don’t feel really horrible and spend a lot of time in pain, but it’s weird to feel just bad enough that I don’t want to do a lot of things but not so bad that I feel like I need to relax. It’s a weird middle ground. I also am dealing with a lot of hip pain this week (I think it’s due to the weather), and that just makes it even harder on me. I’ve been trying to be gentle with myself and not feel like I should do more just because I’m not feeling as bad as I expected, but I still keep putting pressure on myself that I should be getting things done.
And going along with the idea that I should be doing more and getting stuff done, I am stress about the idea of moving soon. I have lived in my house for so long and I have a lot of stuff I’ve collected. I have stuff stored in my garage that I don’t use and either need to sell, give it away, or throw it out. I’m slowly working through things and seeing what I need to have a plan to do. And of course, it’s never as simple as it sounds. For example, I can’t get into my garage as the door broke. I know my landlord will come to fix it, but when I had set aside time to work on it I wish I could have done what I planned.
All of these things are manageable and I know they aren’t things I need to add extra stress about. But it seems like the more stressful things in my life, the more stress each thing has. And this week, my stress management is really being tested with having so much happening. But maybe this means that soon I’ll have a nice break from stress in my life.
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