I honestly can’t remember a time when I wasn’t dealing with a lot of anxiety around going to the dentist. I’m sure as a kid I wasn’t as bad as I am now, but I don’t think I’ve ever really been ok going in. I know I do what I should do for my teeth, but genetics really haven’t been on my side and I’ve had so many issues with my teeth. And combining that with a few really bad dentist appointments that really went wrong, I think my anxiety is never going to fully go away. I’ll admit that it has gotten better over time, but I’m always so stressed as I’m going into an appointment.
My last appointment didn’t go as well as they normally do. It wasn’t horrible, but things just took longer and things weren’t as easy as I’ve gotten used to. There are a couple of reasons why this might have happened, but after that appointment, I really told myself I needed to be better about making sure I do everything I could for my teeth. I mainly use a water flosser because I do better with that than normal floss, but I knew I needed to try to use regular floss more often. And I’m not always good about brushing my teeth after eating lunch, but I made an effort to try to do that when I could. Sometimes when I don’t really eat lunch, but instead I eat a snack over a long period of time, that’s not as simple to do. But even a little extra effort can always make a difference.
I felt somewhat hopeful when going into my appointment earlier this week, but I was still shaking as I was walking into the building and waiting in the waiting room. And I wasn’t calming down when I got brought back for my appointment. I feel bad because I know I look mean and a bit rude at the beginning of my appointments, but it’s just me trying to stay calm. I know if I talk too much or think too much about it, my panic attacks will hit me. So I just try to stay quiet and get things started so I can get them over with.
Fortunately, I was right and this appointment went a lot better than the last one. It was easy for me to get through and I had to really focus on trying to not shake too much, but at least I didn’t get any bad news and things went quickly because there wasn’t a lot that had to be done. And because of the timing of when my appointments have been, I was almost due to get new x-rays. But I asked if that could wait until my next appointment because I knew I wanted to be a bit more mentally prepared for that since that can also bring up bad news like fillings that need to be done. Since I’m not experiencing any pain or weird symptoms, my dentist allowed me to wait until just after I’m due for x-rays to get the next set. I know that my next appointment will be a bit more panic-inducing because I know those will be coming up, but I’ll just have to deal with that when it happens.
And I’m a little extra nervous on top of that for my next appointment because I’m actually not going back for 6 months. For a long time, I went to the dentist every 3 or 4 months because of the issues I had. But things have been a lot better over the last few appointments, even with the worse appointment last time, and my dentist said we can switch to me coming in every 6 months. I’m a little hesitant about that since I know that waiting longer could mean that things won’t be as good, but hopefully all the effort I put in at home will continue to pay off and it won’t be as bad as I fear. And if that appointment doesn’t go that well, I can always go back to every 4 months to keep things easier on me.
So I’m excited that I don’t have to deal with being this scared again for 6 months, but I know it won’t be the easiest appointment since there will be x-rays and it’s going to be a bit of an unknown. But hopefully, this last appointment going well is a good omen and things won’t be as bad as I think they might be.
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