Category Archives: Celebrations

Enjoying The Emmys (or This Awards Show Will Be A Bit Of A Time Capsule)

Posted on September 22, 2020 | Comments Off on Enjoying The Emmys (or This Awards Show Will Be A Bit Of A Time Capsule)

The Emmys were this past weekend. As I usually do, I watched them live so I could also live-tweet them. I love watching awards shows, I always have. But as I have gotten more and more involved in my union, I have gotten to know people who are up for various awards. This year, there were a few people I’ve met up for Emmys and some people I would consider acquaintances. It made things even better. Also, I had watched “Schitt’s Creek” this year with the Movie Club I helped to start, so I was so excited to see them up for so many awards.

Watching the awards this year wasn’t that different from how I normally watch them. I was on my couch, alone, and I ordered some delivery food. That actually felt really normal to me and having that feeling was something I needed. But the show was definitely not normal.

Because of the pandemic, there was no audience watching. Very few presenters were at the show. There were some that were done by Jimmy Kimmel, who was the host, and there were some that were pre-taped by actors and essential workers (which was a nice touch). And the nominees were all watching on their own with cameras live-streaming their reactions into the show. I saw some behind the scenes stuff about how the Television Academy sent all the nominees cameras and lights so they could do this. It was pretty incredible to see how it turned out and I think it was really good. The cast and crew from “Schitt’s Creek” were watching together and having a mini-party and so did some of the team behind “Watchman”. But they were following protocols and staying safe.

I am so glad that “Schitt’s Creek” was together since they had a clean sweep of the comedy awards! Seeing everyone be so excited for each other brought me so much joy. And anything that brings joy these days is so special. And even watching people win and have to give their speeches alone in a room was fun and joyful to watch. Honestly, I think we all needed an awards show at this time since there hasn’t been anything like that lately to watch. Some may feel like it was frivolous, but so are a lot of things that people are excited about. And to me and I bet so many others, this was something we needed to feel like not everything is gone because of the pandemic.

I hope that this is the only time that the Emmys have to be this way and that by this time next year things will be back to normal and people can be together. I actually didn’t mind this new format and would love to see how it could be incorporated in the future. But I also love it when things are held in a single space and you could see everyone there excited for all the winners.

No matter what, this show was very clearly held during a pandemic. People were wearing masks (and many had ones to match their outfits or found a way to make them stylish). The awards were given to the winners by employees in hazmat suits. People were isolated and not together. One day, looking back at this show, people will instantly know that it was held during this time. It’s a moment in history. I wonder if other award shows in the next year or so will be the same. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

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Default ThumbnailBeing An Active And Interactive Viewer (or SAG Awards Live-Tweeting) Default ThumbnailA Night Of SAG Awards (or Watching Union Unity) Default ThumbnailEnjoying Movie Nights (or Watching My Screeners) Default ThumbnailA Night Of Oscars (or Last Minute Costumes and Enjoying The Show) Default ThumbnailThe SAG Awards (or I Am An Actor) Default ThumbnailSAG Awards (or Watching After Knowing The Winners)

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Posted in Acting, Celebrations, Fun Stuff

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19 Years In LA (or The LA Anniversary Between Two Big Milestone Anniversaries)

Posted on August 21, 2020 | Comments Off on 19 Years In LA (or The LA Anniversary Between Two Big Milestone Anniversaries)

Last year, I celebrated being in LA for 18 years. Being in LA for 18 years also meant that I have spent over half my life in LA. In some ways, it still doesn’t feel like that and that I lived in the Bay Area longer. In other ways, I feel like I’ve been here more than that and my time in the Bay Area was forever ago. I remember thinking when I moved to LA that I would have to live here for 18 years to be there as long as I was in the Bay Area and that seemed so far away. While I never considered living anywhere else, it still seemed like it was something so far in the future that I would never get there.

But I did get there last year. And I’m so glad I have stayed in LA because it always feels like this is where I was meant to live. When I was growing up, I always thought I should live in LA. Since I moved here, I’ve only had a few fleeting moments wondering if I should think about living somewhere else. But those moments are usually when I’m having a really bad day (like when I’m feeling so isolated from everyone in my life).

Next year, I will be celebrating 20 years in LA. That feels like a milestone just like being here for half my life. It’s a nice round number and while it’s not necessarily super significant to me, it still feels like a big deal.

This week, I’m marking being in LA for 19 years. That’s still an anniversary, but it feels like a weird nothing anniversary between 2 big ones. And because of everything going on in the world, it feels even less important or significant.

I feel like this year is the year that is slipping away. Time feels like it doesn’t really matter. Important dates like birthdays and anniversaries don’t feel the same as they normally do. I have joked that nobody should have to get older this year since it’s not a real year. But that is how it feels at times. So even if this year was a big milestone year, I don’t know if I would feel that way. I’m sure that if we weren’t in a pandemic that I would still feel a bit weird about it, and the pandemic just exasperates that feeling.

I don’t want to dismiss that I should be happy that I’ve been in LA for 19 years now. It’s not the easiest city to be in because of the cost. And I will say that I haven’t always fully supported myself while living here. But I still have worked to be more and more independent as I’ve been here. And I’ve made this city more and more my own. I do feel a bit disconnected from LA right now because I’m not going out and doing the things I love, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love the city. I’m sure it would be nice to be somewhere where there are fewer people and I could get out more, but that would only be nice for now. Once I can go out and do all the fun things I usually do, I will feel more like this is the place that has always felt like home.

Just like with so many other things, I’m excited to be having an important date and milestone, but it just doesn’t feel like it normally does. I don’t know if anything will feel that normal for a while. But like I’ve said before, anything to celebrate these days should be celebrated. We don’t have a lot to be excited about. So I will celebrate being here for 19 years because that is awesome! And here’s to hoping that when I celebrate 20 years in LA that I will be able to celebrate this city doing all the things I love and feel are so special about LA.

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Posted in Celebrations, Fun Stuff

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A Socially Distant Picnic (or Still Having One Birthday Tradition)

Posted on August 18, 2020 | Comments Off on A Socially Distant Picnic (or Still Having One Birthday Tradition)

One of my favorite birthday traditions is getting my free (or almost free) birthday dinner with my birthday twin, Joanna. We’ve been doing this birthday dinner for a long time (I think it’s been 10 years since we started, but I’m not sure). It’s so much fun and something that both of us look forward to. We aren’t great about getting together to see each other that often due to our weird schedules and not living super close together, but this is one of the times we always make sure we make time to get together.

When the pandemic started, I didn’t think too much about our birthday dinner. Honestly, I really thought things would be back to normal by August. And as time went on, I got a bit distracted by everything else to think too much about the birthday dinner. And then I got the email from Truxton’s for their birthday club and I realized I needed to think about what to do. I knew inside the restaurant wasn’t open (nor would I be comfortable eating inside a restaurant). So I sent a message to Joanna to see what she thought.

Even though they did have outside seating and the tables were being moved far apart, neither of us felt ready to eat at a restaurant. Fortunately, Truxton’s does take-out too and we could use our birthday club discount for that! So last week, we placed an order for take-out (I ordered the appetizer and my meal and Joanna ordered her meal and the dessert) and we met up for our birthday meal! There is a park only a few blocks from the restaurant that had some shade and very few people, so we turned our dinner into a picnic!

We both had our own picnic blankets and Joanna found a plastic tablecloth we could put between the blankets. We were cautious to keep a distance between us since you can’t really keep a mask on while eating. But neither of us have really gone anywhere in a while, so that also helped us both feel safer seeing each other. We split the appetizer and dessert up with a knife and fork and each had our own plates (again, provided by Joanna). And we each had our own entrees and that was easy to eat out of the take-out container.

Yes, it was fun to have an almost free birthday dinner. I think we each paid around $5 and we each left a $10 tip (the meals would have been $25 without the discount). This is a tradition that brings us both so much joy. And it was nice to be outside for a while because I haven’t done that in a while. But the best part of this was getting to hang out with a friend.

I have seen people I know maybe 6 times since March. I’ve seen my family twice. I had 2 friends who did grocery runs for me when I couldn’t go. And I had my friend drop off hair color twice. I’ve seen friends on Zoom, but for in-person interactions, I believe those are the only 6 times I’ve seen people I know in 5 months. That’s not a lot. I am not used to feeling so alone and isolated from my friends. And I know some of this is due to my own fears because I could have met up with friends in a park before. But like I’ve said before, it’s hard to figure out the balance of what is safe and what is too much of a risk.

So getting to hang out with Joanna for about 2 hours was amazing! Of course, we had our usual catch-up discussion. And we talked about how we are both coping with things right now. But I think the random things we talked about made me the happiest. Having those everything and nothing conversations are things that you don’t always get with a virtual hangout. It did feel weird to be even 6 feet away from someone without a mask on, but it also was nice to have a moment where I could feel like it was my old life again.

We ended up hanging out in that park much longer than either of us expected. I think we both needed that time together. And we were saying how we hope that somehow things will work out so we can have our cheesecake outing this winter, but we have no idea about that. I can’t imagine when we can go to a restaurant again. But maybe we could do another take-out picnic?

I’m so glad that we found a way to keep our birthday tradition alive. I know it’s not the most important thing to do and it’s probably frivolous with everything else going on in the world. But it was nice to take a break from all the tough things I’ve been dealing with to have a moment of fun with a friend and some good food!

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Posted in Celebrations, Food, Fun Stuff

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A Quarantine Birthday (or Just A Normal Sunday)

Posted on August 12, 2020 | Comments Off on A Quarantine Birthday (or Just A Normal Sunday)

My birthday was this past Sunday. I’m a big birthday person and love to be able to celebrate my birthday and other’s birthdays. I’m not always great about planning birthday parties for myself, but I usually do at least something around my birthday to celebrate. And this year, I was hoping to do the same.

When the safer at home orders started, nobody expected it to last this long. I remember earlier this summer they were saying that things would start reopening up and being safe by the 4th of July. And when I heard that, I started thinking about what I might want to do for my birthday. I wasn’t thinking of planning anything big, but I started to think about if I wanted to do another night at a bar or something like that. But I didn’t start planning anything because I knew things could change and I didn’t want to plan something that wouldn’t be able to happen.

And some restaurants are open for outdoor eating and other public places that are open outdoors, but for the most part, things are still closed. And I didn’t want to do a distant hangout at a park with a lot of friends or something like that. So I realized by July that I most likely wouldn’t be doing anything for my birthday. I do have something still planned for later this week (and hopefully that won’t change), but nothing really like I’m used to.

So on my actual birthday, things weren’t that different from most of my Sundays. I did laundry. I cleaned my house and did other chores. I wrote a blog post. I tried to make a plan for things for the week. Nothing exciting at all. I did order delivery food, which is something I’m trying to do less often, so that was something special. And of course, I got a lot of texts, messages on social media, and phone calls from family and friends.

I think my favorite call was from my brother and sister-in-law because it was a FaceTime call with Rory! He seemed very interested in the phone and I think he could tell it was a person on the screen. He kept coming really close to the phone and it felt like Attack of the 50 Foot Baby!

That was so much fun and I loved getting to see my nephew! It made me smile and made the day feel special. And it did help to break up a day that didn’t feel that different from most of my Sundays. And my Sundays don’t feel that different from most of my days except for some of the chores I do on Sundays only. So anything to make the day feel different is a big treat and makes me very happy.

I had a friend ask me if I feel any different being 37 than I did being 36, and honestly, I don’t. I don’t normally feel different, but this year feels even more the same as always. I joked that I feel the same as I did back in March because it doesn’t seem like life as moved since safer at home started. I feel like my life has paused and nothing has progressed. And in some ways, that’s true. I don’t hate getting older, but in some ways, I do wish that I could have paused my age this year too.

For about half of being 36, I couldn’t do much of what I wanted to do with my life. I feel like that was lost and wasted time. I know I can’t judge myself against who I used to be before the pandemic, but it’s still hard. So I’m trying to just appreciate what I did get done while I was 36. And as far as what I plan on doing while I’m 37, my main focus is staying healthy. And that probably means staying home by myself a lot. But losing this time means I will be alive in the future. And that’s what’s most important. And hopefully, things will be better before I turn 38 and I can accomplish some great things this year.

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Officially Getting A New Cousin (or A Zoom Wedding)

Posted on August 11, 2020 | Comments Off on Officially Getting A New Cousin (or A Zoom Wedding)

There are so many things that we are doing these days that nobody would have expected to do before the pandemic. Virtual hangouts are so common that many people have Zoom fatigue. Even though I know people have live-streamed weddings before, that’s usually done for people who couldn’t be there (like how my grandparents watched my brother’s wedding on Facetime because they couldn’t fly). But now, if you are getting married almost everyone has to be on Zoom. And that’s exactly what happened with my cousin’s wedding.

My cousin Danny and his partner Alisa have been together for a long time. And from the day I met Alisa, I have felt like she was my family. She and I always call each other cousin, even though it wasn’t official. But it was official enough for both of us. Even though we felt like we were already family, I was so excited when Danny and Alisa announced their engagement and so it would be official!

I don’t know how big of a wedding they had been planning on having, but I do know a lot of things had to change because of the pandemic. They were keeping their original wedding date (August 8th), and they just had to make adjustments to keep things safe. So they had only immediate family in person at the wedding and everyone else watched on Zoom. I was very ok with that because that meant I got to watch it and that’s all that mattered to me!

The wedding was pretty early (since they are on the east coast and it was a morning wedding for them), but I was happy to be up and watching it. And since the Zoom was just for us to watch (and not them to see us), it didn’t matter what we looked like while watching. And it made me so happy to get to be a small part of their big day!

Everyone looked beautiful and I was smiling the entire time while I was watching. The camera running the Zoom stayed in the same spot the entire time, so we didn’t get a lot of close up looks, but soon after the wedding was done some photos were being posted online and I could see more of Alisa’s gorgeous dress!

I’m so happy that Danny and Alisa got married and Alisa is officially my cousin now! And I’ve already told her that when things are safer again that they need to come to CA to visit us so we can have our first official family hangout! I’m looking forward to that!

I’ve seen people joke about having Zoom bingo with checking off how many things you’ve done during the pandemic. I know Zoom wedding or baby shower has been on every bingo chart I’ve seen. So I guess now I can check off Zoom wedding!

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Posted in Celebrations, Family, Fun Stuff

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Celebrating A New Contract (or Feeling Good About This Accomplishment)

Posted on July 24, 2020 | Comments Off on Celebrating A New Contract (or Feeling Good About This Accomplishment)

I wrote about my union contract ratification vote before. This is something we do every 3 years for our TV/Theatrical contract (we have ratification votes on contracts every 3 years, but they happen often since we have so many contracts). But this time, it felt different. I don’t know why it got as contentious as it did, but it was a very odd feeling. I know that there are some people who had heard misinformation about the contract (for example, hearing that we lost all minimums on the contract when it was only for a very small and specific category), so some people were being very vocal against the contract and then changed their minds when they looked more into it.

And educating members so they would look more into it was something I took seriously. Even though I was for the contract, that didn’t mean I didn’t look into it and investigate every part of it. There were parts that I didn’t love as much as others and there were a few things that I wish we could have gotten more into the contract. But overall, it was an amazing contract. We are really working toward putting residuals in things that are more common, like streaming. And we got a lot of protections on set for actors who are doing more vulnerable scenes like nudity or simulated sex. And whenever I heard a member saying they were voting no for a reason that wasn’t factual, I gave them the facts. I said that I understood if they still wanted to vote no, but I wanted them to make that choice on what the contract really said and not the misinformation.

I’ve never been this involved in a contract ratification vote before. And part of that is due to my work with running our social media. Every day, multiple times a day, I would check Twitter and Instagram to see what others were posting about the contract. There were specific hashtags I checked constantly. I wanted to share posts about people excited about the contract or answer questions that some people might have had. But that also meant I would be seeing the posts that were against the contract or were negative. And seeing those every day wasn’t easy. But I tried to keep my focus on the positive ones.

The ratification vote was due on Wednesday, and we all were working hard up until the last minute. Since the voting was done online, we didn’t want to miss a minute to make sure that members were making an educated vote. Of course, I was hoping they would vote to approve, but I also wanted everyone to be educated even if that meant they voted no. And when voting was done, we really had no clue if it would pass or not.

It felt like we waited a long time for the results to come in. I was on a Zoom call with some of my friends from the union about 2 hours after the end of the vote and we were still waiting to hear what happened. And maybe 2 1/2 hours after the end of the vote, we finally saw the press release with the results.

The contract passed! It was 74.22% to 25.78%. And while that was exciting, what I was most excited about was the number of members who voted. In the past, it’s usually between 15-16% of the membership that votes. That number is really low and we have worked hard to try to get more members to be involved and to vote. And this time, we had about 27% of the membership voting! Yes, I know that number is still really low and 2/3rds of the membership did not participate, but we still almost doubled what we typically have. As much as I would have liked to have over 50% participating, this is a good step toward that and hopefully, we will be there in the future.

After I found out the contract passed, I was a bit of an emotional wreck. I worked harder on this vote than I have on any other. I was very involved and very aware of what both sides were saying. I didn’t feel certain it would pass even though I was extremely hopeful that it would. And this wasn’t just my effort. Hundreds of people worked hard to make this happen. I am so grateful to everyone who got the message out and voted. This was huge. And I am so proud of what we as a union accomplished.

Now, we just have to hope that we can reopen things soon so we can start working on this contract. I hope that I have a chance to do that soon. We worked hard for this, and I can’t wait to get to use it!

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Posted in Acting, Celebrations

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Social Media Reminders (or Another Thing To Celebrate)

Posted on July 17, 2020 | Comments Off on Social Media Reminders (or Another Thing To Celebrate)

I try to keep track of anniversaries, birthdays, and other things I want to celebrate in my calendar. I like to know when things are coming up so I can buy presents or cards. And I like having fun things on my calendar. It’s like why I like getting random fun things in the mail. It adds something positive to my life. Getting a card in the mail when I normally just get bills is so nice. Same with knowing a friend’s birthday is coming up when my calendar is usually just filled with work and appointments.

But I don’t remember to track everything or I don’t think all things need to be in my calendar. And things that I probably wouldn’t have thought about as much in normal times mean so much more to me now. I want to celebrate everything and anything I can. I even am finding myself celebrating when I don’t see a line at the grocery store or everything I want is in stock. I never thought that would be something to celebrate, but these days it really is!

I’m glad I can find little things to celebrate most days. And sometimes, I figure out what to celebrate because of social media and an alert about a memory that I posted. And earlier this week, I got a reminder about a memory that means so much to me.

This wine party was something that I was invited to attend, and even though I’m not a big drinker I totally wanted to go. I have always wanted to learn more than wine (even now when I’m not drinking I wish I knew more) and this party was being held at a bar I love. So my friend Kate and I made plans to go. And when I wrote the post about it and posted this photo on social media, that’s what I wrote about.

But the story behind this photo is a lot more. The day I went to the party and took this photo was also the day my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She called me a few hours before the party to tell me. And I broke down hard after that call. I remember calling Kate to tell her and she asked me if I still wanted to go to the party. I said that I would because it would be a good distraction. It was, but I also know that I was still in shock and a bit numb because I don’t remember much about that night.

So when this memory came up on Facebook, I immediately thought that that night. But then I remembered something else. My mom told me that when people say they’ve been cancer-free for a certain number of years, that number is based on when they were diagnosed (I’m not sure why, but that’s how it is). So this memory coming up from 7 years ago also meant that my mom has been cancer-free for 7 years!

I know that 7 years cancer-free isn’t a huge milestone like 5 years cancer-free is, but it’s still a huge thing to celebrate! I called my mom after I saw that memory pop up so I could tell her congratulations on being cancer-free for so long. Doing that was a highlight of my week. I’m so glad that my mom had amazing doctors and got the treatments that she needed so she could stay cancer-free for this long. I know she stays on top of monitoring things and it’s a relief to us all when she gets a clean bill of health.

I’m so grateful that Facebook reminded me of one of the weirdest nights of my life because it also allowed me to celebrate something else this week. I really appreciated the reminder because I don’t know if I would have remembered on my own and this is something that I for sure what to celebrate!

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Posted in Celebrations, Fun Stuff, Health

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8 Years In (or Another Blog Anniversary)

Posted on July 16, 2020 | Comments Off on 8 Years In (or Another Blog Anniversary)

8 years ago, I wrote my first blog post here. I have written about how this blog started as one idea and it turned into something else on its own. When I started writing, I never expected it to become what it is today. But I love that it has turned into something I didn’t plan on it being because it shows what it naturally wanted to be. And I think I have become more comfortable blogging as I have figured out what I want my posts to be about.

Every blog anniversary is a big deal for me. I always say how I never expected it to last this long, and that statement is still true. When I started, I didn’t have a plan for how long I’d be writing or have a goal that I wanted it to be, and then I would feel like I was done. I just started writing and haven’t stopped.

And these days, knowing that I haven’t stopped writing takes on a new meaning to me. When the safer at home plan started 4 months ago, I really wondered what I’d be able to do with my blog. I wrote about how I wasn’t sure what it meant for this space and was prepared to not have posts every day. And that is still something that might happen. Especially with the safer at home orders being back to their stricter place. I’m sure at some point, I’ll run out of things to write about if I am not able to really leave my house for anything. But that hasn’t happened yet. Somehow, I have figured out a blog post every weekday. Even if that post is me writing about how I have nothing to write about.

I feel like I write about pretty much the same things every year on my blogging anniversary. And I don’t have anything special or unique to write about this time. Just that I’m proud of myself for my consistency, including being consistent with writing when I truly thought I would have to blog less often.

There isn’t a lot to celebrate these days. The news seems to be filled with sad stories or negativity. So I’m happy that I have something to celebrate today. I know that blogging for 8 years might not be a big accomplishment for everyone. Some people have been blogging longer than I have. Some people might think that it’s not that hard to blog every day for years. But for me, it’s an awesome accomplishment and I am proud of myself. And that is something to celebrate!

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Virtual Memorial Day (or Doing The Best We Can For Now)

Posted on May 27, 2020 | Comments Off on Virtual Memorial Day (or Doing The Best We Can For Now)

Usually for Memorial Day weekend, I spend time with my friends at a BBQ. It’s usually a pretty low-key hangout, but it’s a great opportunity to see my friends and spend some time having fun. Typically, I haven’t seen that group of friends since the Oscar party, so I am excited to see them. The same group gets together and we all get along so well. And we all have the same type of friendship with each other that we can just pick up wherever we left off and it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other.

But this year, of course, things are different. I don’t know if I realized that this BBQ wouldn’t be happening until recently. Time is a weird thing during this pandemic and I didn’t realize Memorial Day was almost here. But once I did notice it on the calendar, I started to get a bit sad. When this all started. I doubt anyone thought it would last until Memorial Day. Now, they are hoping for reopening around the 4th of July, but I also know that can be changed and maybe it will last longer than that. But I also know that this is necessary to keep us all as healthy as possible.

I messaged my friend Marie to see if they were going to do anything virtual for Memorial Day, and I think I messaged her just as they were starting to see what they could do. I was so glad that they were going to plan something so I could have a bit of my regular life on Memorial Day. They planned a big group Zoom hangout that was supposed to start at 1 pm. While I am usually one of the first people to their parties, I have never been the very first person. But I was the first guest that arrived at the virtual party.

It was so good to see Marie and Chris! I have missed all of my friends so much, and I haven’t gotten to see many of them virtually since this all started. I was so happy that I was tearing up at seeing familiar faces. And we had a few moments to chat before lots of other people were joining in! People were popping in and out, so there was never a time that I could have gotten a photo with everyone in the virtual party at one time but this shows a lot of people who were there.

There was a good-sized group the entire time I was in the Zoom party. I was able to stay for about 2 or 3 hours before I needed to leave and get some things done around my house. And yes, we did have some issues with people talking over each other since we had so many people there at once, but we also joked that the parties are like that in real life too.

And some people really did have some fun with the idea of a virtual party. Marie and Chris used a video for a virtual background and the video was a 30-minute loop that mainly was just their empty entryway but occasionally had them walking through the frame and opening doors. So it was like they had evil twins appearing from time to time. That made all of us laugh so much. Other people used other still images for virtual backgrounds. And one person made Chris and Marie’s house their background and that made us all smile. Some people even did outfit/costume changes from time to time, which was something special and unique with doing a virtual party. And of course, everyone who had a dog showed them off at some point. That was one of my favorite things.

There were a few moments when I felt sad because I really wanted to be with my friends in real life and not just seeing them on a screen. I was a little frustrated by seeing so many people around the country not keeping a distance from others and wishing that I could do the same. I don’t know if the people doing that don’t worry about this virus or where they live there are no cases. But in LA, there is no way I can believe that being around others would be ok right now. And I know that eventually, I will be with my friends again and the only way to keep us all healthy is to stay apart for now.

But even with the rare moments of sadness, for the most part this was an amazing way to try to spend time with some of the people I love. I would have been more upset if I hadn’t seen them at all. And we were all talking about how amazing it will be when we have our epic in-person reunion (we are all hoping we can do that for Halloween, but it will depend on a lot). Seeing friends virtually isn’t as great as being together in person, but it is so much better than not seeing them at all. And we all know how lucky we are that we were able to do this at all. To go through this pandemic without the internet would have been so much worse. But we can do virtual things like this and stay connected while having to be apart.

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Default ThumbnailA Game Filled Party (or Being Competitive With My Friends) Default ThumbnailPre-Memorial Day BBQ (or Making Drunk Fruit) Default ThumbnailAnother Virtual Friend Hangout (or Trying Not To Miss A Summer Tradition Too Much) Default ThumbnailSo Many Virtual Movie Nights (or Thank Goodness For Technology) Default ThumbnailFinding A Social Life Where I Can (or Virtual Parties and Distance Hangouts) Default ThumbnailHaving A Lot Of Repeat Days (or More Organizing and More Virtual Hangouts)

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3 Years Of Being A Medical Miracle (or Just Enjoying Being Healthy)

Posted on April 21, 2020 | Comments Off on 3 Years Of Being A Medical Miracle (or Just Enjoying Being Healthy)

I’ve said before how the date of when I became a medical miracle is a bit hard for me to determine. I’m not sure if I should consider the day I had the MRI that showed my tumors were shrinking as the day. Or maybe the day one of my doctors emailed me to say that it looked like the tumors were shrinking. Or when my liver surgeon called me to tell me for sure that my tumors were shrinking and that he recommended I cancel my surgery. So even though the date isn’t really a date that I got any information, I have considered the date that my surgery was supposed to happen as the marker for being a medical miracle. And yesterday, it marked 3 years since I was supposed to have surgery.

I don’t necessarily do anything to celebrate being a medical miracle, but I do acknowledge it and take time to remember how lucky I am. I know that if my tumors didn’t shrink, surgery was necessary. My tumors were big enough that they could be life-threatening. Not having surgery would have been a very dumb choice. But even though I knew that I needed that surgery, I wasn’t looking forward to it and I was scared about so much. I’m so glad that I didn’t have to have that surgery or deal with the recovery. I haven’t had abdominal surgery before, but I imagine the recovery would be worse than it was for my hip surgery. And there would other things during recovery that would have been tough for me.

One of the things about recovery that scared me was not being able to go to Orangetheory. I was worried that I would lose all momentum that I had been building in my workouts and that I would be so far back when I finally could work out again. Of course, right now I technically have no way to go to my workouts. I am working out at home, but it’s not the same. So it’s a bit funny that something that I was so worried about is a reality that I am dealing with right now. But I am lucky that there are OTF at Home workouts that I could do and that wouldn’t have been an option if I did have surgery.

I was worried about what the surgery might do for my mental health. I didn’t share this too much, but I was worried that having a big scar might make my body dysmorphia worse or that something about having surgery would trigger my panic/anxiety disorder or even my eating disorder. Surgery is a big unknown so there isn’t a way to know how you would react to it. I was hoping that surgery wouldn’t affect my mental health, but it was a big concern that I had about it.

And I was also worried that the surgery wouldn’t be the only one I needed. I knew that I might need another surgery in the future to get rid of one of the tumors if they couldn’t get all of them in one surgery. And I had been told that they could take my gallbladder out when doing the surgery, but I worried that something would happen where they couldn’t and I would need that surgery at another time. I’m actually very lucky when it comes to my gallbladder because it turns out that many of the issues I was having with it was related to the tumors and their size, so even though I didn’t have surgery I have had very few attacks in the past 3 years. I technically still need it out, but it’s not as necessary as it was before.

I am grateful every day that I didn’t have to have surgery. I’m grateful that I didn’t have to go through what could have been a big change in my life. I didn’t have to deal with as many unknowns (even though I do still deal with some unknowns now regarding my tumors). I was able to keep living my life as normal without a disruption. But even though I am grateful every day, I am always extra grateful when it’s my medical miracle anniversary. It’s been 3 years since I have known that my tumors are shrinking and there is still no medical explanation for it. But I feel so lucky that it happened to me.

I am supposed to have another MRI in about 6 months, and if the tumors continue to shrink, that will be my last one scheduled. I might have them every couple of years, but I won’t need annual ones any more if they are smaller. And if by some chance they grow, I will have surgery and I will be ok if that happens. But for now, I’m just focused on being grateful for what happened to me.

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Default Thumbnail3 Years Knowing About The Tumors (or I Forgot An Anniversary) Default ThumbnailAnother Story About A Tumor (or I Guess I Was Misdiagnosed For Over 15 Years) Default ThumbnailA Non-Surgery Anniversary (or Another Year Of Being A Medical Miracle) Default ThumbnailMedical Miracle Anniversary (or A Year Of My Liver Being A Badass) Default ThumbnailTaking Back A Medical Miracle (or Getting My Eyes Checked Again) Default ThumbnailA Tumor Miracle (or I Wasn’t Expecting This)

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