Category Archives: Acting

2012 In Review (or Looking Back Is Fun!)

I can’t believe that this year is over! It seems like as I get older, the years go so much faster.

So as I prepare to have an awesome 2013, I’m looking back at some of my favorite memories of the past year (and some of the blog posts about those memories).

Favorite acting moment: joining the union. I had been SAG-eligible for a couple of years, but I had been putting off joining because then I couldn’t book non-union work anymore. When the union merger looked like it would happen, I finally joined (mainly to save a lot of money). I’m so glad that I did it and I don’t even miss the non-union bookings I used to get.

Favorite class(es): I took 2 different but both amazing acting classes this year. I took Marci Liroff’s Audition Class and Porter Kelly’s Commercial Class. They were both amazing in their own ways so I have to mention them both. I learned so much and feel like I’m going into 2013 as a much more prepared actor.

Biggest Laugh of 2012: the giant wine pours at Aria V. My friend Kate and I couldn’t believe the size of the “tastings”. And I might have had the biggest laugh of my life when I realized in the car ride home that they never asked for our Living Social deal and didn’t charge us for a thing!

Best (Almost) Additions To My Family: Technically, neither of these people are in my family yet, but I found out in 2012 that I’m going to be gaining a sister-in-law plus my cousin will be having another baby! I’m so excited! I will officially have a sister-in-law in September and my cousin’s baby should be here at the end of the spring, beginning of the summer.

Best Day Job Moment: when I got my current day job and was finally able to leave my old day job. At my old day job, I wasn’t treated so nicely. I was penalized for doing well at my job. I had personal items stolen from there, and was laughed at when I wanted them back. But in May, I was finally able to get out of there, and I’ve never looked back!

Best Social Events: There were a lot of fun events that I went to in 2012, but the ones that I seem to always tell stories from are my girls night out adventure to The Magic Castle and my friends Marie and Chris getting married. All the events I’m going to in 2013 have a lot to live up to!

Best Overall Moment of 2012: starting this blog! My friend Heather had encouraged me a while back to start a blog, and I never seemed to know when to start it or what to write about. But I did start it and now I can’t imagine not writing here! I’m hoping to be improving the blog next year (self hosting so I can add some more fun stuff is at the top of my list). If I’ve been able to get this far in half a year, I can’t wait to see what another year brings!

And on an unrelated note, if you are going out tonight to celebrate, please don’t drive drunk. It’s a stupid risk to take with your own life (and the lives of others on the road). I was in a drunk driving accident when I was 6, and even though I wasn’t injured, I still think about why the woman who hit us decided to drive drunk. If you do drink and feel even a bit unsafe driving, call AAA for a Tipsy Tow. It’s free to everyone (even non-AAA) members and they will take you and your car up to 7 miles home.

Have a wonderful New Years and I’m excited to have you all continue this journey with me!

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(My favorite pictures of my from 2012)

Finding A Work/Life Balance (or Preparing to Not Be Unemployed)

When I was hired at my current day job, I was informed that it was seasonal. The job went from May until October, had October and the beginning of November off, came back before Thanksgiving, and ended just after New Years. I was a little concerned on what my financial situation would be like from January to May, but once I understood how much I’d receive in unemployment benefits I calmed down a bit.

Working 6 days a week every week leaves very little social time. When you get out of work at 9pm (8:30pm now) and sometimes have to be at work at 9am the next day, you just want to go home and sleep. I couldn’t attend anything at The Actors’ Network since everything there pretty much happened during my work hours. I had the same problem with Women in Film events. But I was ok with that because I would have all the time I needed to attend these events during my (f)unemployment (as my friends referred to it).

But now, it seems pretty sure that the job is going to be year round and not seasonal anymore. There is a chance that this could change because they’ve never kept my office open year round in the history of the company. They might decide that we aren’t work the cost.

But if we are year round, I need to find a way to have a life and work too. I pay for my memberships at The Actors’ Network and Women in Film and want to enjoy those benefits. I want to have time to see my friends and go on dates.

We’ve been told at my job that on the nights we work until 8:30pm, we aren’t supposed to ask for the evenings off. Those evenings are the best times to work on those days. But I think I need to start asking for a couple of evenings off a month so I can at least go to some industry events.

I want to be able to focus on my career and not just my job. But I also don’t want to risk losing my job because it pays well and let’s me go to all my auditions.

I am starting to look at other job opportunities out there. I’m not leaving my job, not anytime soon. But if I can start trying out another job (maybe freelancing) and see if it’s something that I can survive on, then I’ll see what I should do.

I have no idea how everyone else has a work/life balance. Maybe I’m only comparing myself to those trying to balance work and life. I’m trying to balance work, life, and career. But of those three, I’m not willing to give up any of them (well, maybe work if I won the lottery or something).

“Lincoln” and “Les Miserables” (or Time For Some Movie Reviews)

In the past two days, I’ve seen two movies. They were both amazing, and I wanted to share my movie going experiences with you all.

Please note: this blog post contains spoilers for “Les Miserables” if you’ve never seen the musical or aren’t familiar with the story. There are really any spoilers for “Lincoln” (if you don’t know that slavery was abolished or that Lincoln was assassinated you should be reading a history book and not my blog). If you aren’t familiar at all with “Les Miserables” and don’t want to know about the plot, stop reading right now! This is your final spoiler warning!

On Christmas, I went with my friend Robert to a screening of “Lincoln” at the DGA (or Director’s Guild of America for those of you not in the entertainment industry). It would normally take me between 30 minutes and an hour to get to the DGA from my house, but I didn’t account for the lack of traffic on Christmas, so I was pretty much the first one there. The lobby was empty!

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As you can see, nobody was lined up for the screening. Robert and I got some pretty nice seats in the center of the little theater. Everyone in the theater was super respectful and watched all the credits to see everyone who participated in it (my 4th cousin wrote the screenplay).

It was so nice to be in a theater where nobody was talking, texting, eating loudly, or doing any other rude theater behaviors.

I had a different experience when I went to see “Les Miserables”. I went to the Landmark Theater near my house because they have reserved seating. I like to sit in the row behind the handicap seating because there is a rail that you can rest your feet on.

I went alone, and was seating between two groups. And they were weird theater goers. Not rude necessarily, but weird.

The guy on my left came prepared to cry, and boy did he cry! The crying started when the Universal Pictures logo came up and never ended! He even brought a box of tissues in the theater with him! The only annoying thing was that he kept having to blow his nose, but that’s not bad.

The woman on my right must have never seen “Les Miserables” or knew anything about it. Every death shocked her. When Fantine died, she whispered (loudly) to her friend “Anne Hathaway can’t die!”. When Gavroche was shot, she said something about not believing that they decided to kill an innocent kid in the movie.

Between the crying man on my left, the shocked woman on my right, and hearing people eating popcorn and snacks throughout the movie, I almost missed the calmness at the DGA.

But I have to say that both movies should be seen by everyone! “Lincoln” isn’t the sort of movie I’d normally go to, but it’s amazing. All the actors are wonderful and even though it’s a historical story we all know, you get to experience it in a new way. And “Les Miserables” was just wonderful. I thought that I’d cry more, but there were only two moments where I cried. One was Anne Hathaway singing “I Dreamed A Dream”. That was a showstopper in the theater. There were people who did a standing ovation after that number. I also cried at the end because it was just so beautiful.

Now it’s back to my 6 days a week work schedule. I do have New Year’s Day off, but I’m working New Year’s Eve. But I’m glad I got to have a couple of days off to enjoy life a bit more than I normally get to!

Where I Am (or Staying The Course)

I haven’t really updated recently about my weight loss.

That’s because there isn’t a lot to share. I’m maintaining the little loss I had earlier this year, but I haven’t lost any since. This is disappointing, but not unexpected.

I haven’t had a ton of time for exercising. On the mornings where I don’t leave for work until 11am, I’m normally trying to get other work things done before I go to work. And I don’t get up earlier because I get home late, and I know that I do not do well with a lack of sleep (I try to get at least 6 hours).

My food hasn’t been as good as it can be. It’s not horrible, but I know it could be better.

I keep saying that once I’m (f)unemployed I’ll be able to spend time on me. But now, my job might end up being year round. I’m now sure if I could do 6 days a week year round. That’s a lot. Only having 1 day off a week is tough, and normally that day is filled with laundry and cleaning since I don’t have other time to get it done.

I don’t want to leave my job. I’m making better money than at my old job and my boss is very cool with my acting stuff. But I’m thinking that I might start looking for something that I can do on the side and maybe eventually turn into my main job.

Yes, I need to make money to pay the bills and pay down my credit card. But I also need to take care of myself, and I don’t feel like I am doing that to the best of my ability right now.

And I want to be working on my career (acting) versus my job and right now I’m not able to focus on it as much as I’d like.

I don’t know what I’m really trying to say, I just needed to get it out there. Maybe after I have 2 days off at Christmas I’ll have a better attitude and feel better about where I am.

Being Defined (or How I Was Inspired By Ben Affleck)

This week was Barbara Walters’ “10 Most Fascinating People” show.

I didn’t care for too many of the people on it. Did Honey Boo Boo really need to be on that list? Seriously. I didn’t find her or her family fascinating at all. And their show was practically unwatchable for me. Also, I fast forwarded through the part with One Direction. Maybe it’s because I’m not a 13-year-old girl, but I didn’t feel the need to hear what they had to say (although when I was a teenager, I loved *NSYNC and would have been glued to the tv for their interview).

The interviews with Hillary Clinton and Chris Christie were interesting to watch. And even though I disagreed that David Petraeus was the most fascinating person of 2012, I agree that he was definitely in the top 10.

My favorite interview was Ben Affleck. I think he has done some amazing things in his career. Yes he was a paparazzi fixture for a while, but he’s also become an amazing director (and he’s an Academy Award winner).

In his interview, he discussed the path that his career has taken and has admitted that he’s been in some pretty bad movies. But then he said that he believes that a person is defined by the way they rise and not the way the fall.

I had to pause my DVR for a second after he said that because it was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment. The past few post have been a bit negative, and I’m sorry for that. I’ve been focused too much on how I have fallen. Even though I haven’t risen yet (and am able to focus on that), I should focus on the steps I’m going to take to get myself back up.

I know that if I ever make it big, it will come out that I have an eating disorder. And if I am skinny (or skinnier) when I make it big, photos of me at my heaviest will come out. But I will have nothing to be embarrassed about. This is just a part in my journey. And hopefully people will admire me for overcoming either my eating disorder, obesity, or both.

Thanks Ben Affleck for inspiring me. For that, I forgive you for all the bad movies that you’ve made. Although I will say that “Jersey Girl” isn’t nearly as bad as most people think.

😉

Trying to Not Be Defensive (or Accepting Myself)

I made some cute new actor business cards. On the front, I’ve got two of my favorite headshots.

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On the back I’ve got thumbnails or two other headshots and my contact information. I put my phone number, email, twitter handle, website, and I included this blog as well.

I normally give out these cards to actors or other industry people who I meet. When they find out that I have a blog, they are pretty excited about it and want to hear more. And I’m usually really excited to talk about it because they are creative people and this is one of my creative sides.

Occasionally I’ll give a card out to someone random. I had a friend of a friend ask for it because she might use me as a babysitter in the future. These are the only cards I carry with me, so I gave her one.

She was commenting on my photo and flipped the card over. She noticed the URL for the blog, and asked me what it is. I was instantly embarrassed and apologized for not having another card with me. But my friend who was right there spoke up and talked about my blog and how she likes to read it (which I still find hard to believe sometimes). And her friend then started talking about how much she loves blogs.

I don’t know what I was defensive and not being as open about the blog to a non-industry person as I am to an industry person. It didn’t have to do with her being a stranger, because I’ve talked about my blog with complete strangers I’ve met at Women In Film.

I’m trying to have more pride in what I’ve accomplished with this blog. I don’t know what made me be so embarrassed at that moment.

This blog is as much a part of me as my acting career or anything else. When I talk about how awesome other aspects of my life are, I need to remember to start including this.

Alternative Motivation (or Why Can’t I Transfer My Dedication From One Area to Another)

On Friday evening, I attended the Actors’ Network annual holiday party. I love this holiday party! It’s a great mix of industry types and I always run into people who I don’t see as often as I’d like.

I haven’t been able to go to many Actors’ Network events since starting my new day job in May. Most events are between 1 and 7:30pm and I pretty much always working then. I plan on attending more events when I’m (f)unemployed soon.

As I was chatting with a friend who I hadn’t seen in almost a year, we were discussing what had been keeping us busy. I mentioned this blog, and they asked me about it. I said how I just recently passed 100 blog posts and they commented on how motivated and dedicated I must be.

I always have thought of myself as someone who needs more motivation in life. If I was a motivated person, I shouldn’t have a weight issue. I would be motivated to eat better and exercise more.

But the more I thought about it, it’s true that I’m really motivated.

I’m motivated to write every day here, and I’m super happy about that. I love thinking of what to write about and what you will all think about it.

I’m also really motivated in my job, which is good.

I’m motivated to keep acting. I know that one day I’ll “make it” and it will all be worth it.

I’m motivated to watch my favorite tv shows even when I’m tired (this might not be the best one, but it’s true).

I just can’t find the motivation all the time for my health. I don’t know what the block is in my brain. I want to do it, but I can’t seem to do it. I don’t know if I’ve convinced myself that I don’t have enough time/energy/whatever to do it. But now that someone else has made me realize that I do have a motivated personality, I’m going to work on figuring it out.

Happy 100th! (or Guess I Might Be A Writer)

It’s my 100th blog post! I’m kind of in shock. When I started writing this, I hoped that I would love doing it and it would become a part of my day that I looked forward to, but I was not sure. Fortunately, I’m loving this!

I never really thought of myself as a writer. But I’ve always thought of a writer as a screenwriter or someone who writes books. I’m not very good at either of those. I wish I could write scripts, but there is a disconnect in my brain for writing something for visual media.

But ever since I started writing this blog, people have commented to me in person that I’m a good writer. I’ve even had a few people ask me why I’m not writing this as a book instead of a blog. Whenever I got those comments, I blew them off. I always said that I’m not a writer.

But maybe I am.

When I was at the Women in Film mentoring event this week, everyone else was introducing themselves as a hybrid (actor-writer, writer-director, producer-makeup artist). I’ve always said that I’m an actor. That’s it. Even though I produced a documentary, I don’t think of myself as a producer. That was a passion project and I’m not seeking another producing job.

But I started introducing myself as an actor-blogger at the event this week. And to my surprise, everyone seemed impressed that I write a blog. Maybe I’ve been underestimating this, but I was surprised how much people wanted to know about the blog. But I was so excited to be able to introduce myself as a hybrid that I’m proud of.

In the first 100 posts, I feel like I’ve gotten so much off my chest that I’ve been keeping secretive. Now that I don’t have to focus on hiding those parts of my life, I’ve been able to focus on moving forward and growing as a person. I feel like I am a much better me than I was 100 posts ago.

Can’t wait to see where I am after the next 100!

Getting Mentored (or Wanting to Have Positivity Around Me)

I joined Women in Film last year during one of their membership drives. Honestly, when I joined, I wasn’t sure what I wanted out of the membership. At the time, I was at an old job where I only worked Monday-Wednesday, so I had time to attend a couple of events. But what sparked my interest the most was their mentoring program.

The mentoring program then was a one on one program where everyone got matched up with someone in the industry. They might not have been in the same part of the industry as you, but that’s a good thing in my mind. A bunch of my friends and I all applied for the program in January. And then we waited.

Out of the 6 friends that I know who applied, only 1 got a mentor. The rest of us didn’t hear anything.

Well, it turns out, way more people applied this year than expected, so they changed up the program for the future. Now, we are going to be in mentoring circles with 9 or 10 mentees and 1 mentor.

Personally, I’m super excited about the change. I think that it will be amazing.

Since there were so many of us who applied in January who didn’t get matched, Women in Film hosted a get together for us this week. It was a little party to say thank you for being patient and an opportunity to mingle with other mentees and some of the mentors.

This event was exactly what I needed. There are far too many negative people in this industry. People try to put you down or make you feel less so that they feel more. There are so many scams out there that seem legitimate. But this event was all positive people who just want to help look out for one another and make sure that we all can succeed together.

There are very few industry places where I feel this much positivity. Being a member of The Actors’ Network is like this too (if you aren’t a member of that organization yet and want to check it out, there are 2 free orientations left this year). I feel like I need to be a more active participant with this positive groups to outweigh all the negativity out there. It’s tough with the job right now. I need to find a way to balance working so late 3 nights a week and trying to attend events. But whenever I do make it, I feel like I’m recharging my batteries and I’m ready to go out and battle whatever I encounter out there.

Can I Cut The Cord? (or Trying To Change How I Research TV)

As I’ve written previously, I have to watch everything on tv in order to be prepared for any auditions I might get. I love having my DVR for this. There is no way that I could watch my shows on the time that they actually air with the work schedule that I keep.

For my birthday this year, my brother got me an Apple TV. I love it. I mainly use it for Netflix streaming, but I did start using it for Hulu Plus recently. I started using Hulu Plus because my DVR can record 2 shows at a time, but on Tuesdays, there are 3 shows that air at the same time that I enjoy watching. So I record 2 and watch 1 later on Hulu Plus. I tried using Hulu on my computer, but I’d really rather watch on my tv where I can relax on my couch.

Between Netflix and Hulu Plus, I spend about $16 a month. And then I still pay for cable. Part of my cable bill is my internet, so I’m not going to give that up completely. But I’ve been toying with the idea of cutting back on what I pay for with the cable company and starting to switch over to watching more on streaming.

I really want to do this, but I’m a little unsure on how it would work. I would have to keep some of tv on cable because there are some shows that I can’t get online. And I don’t know how to watch premium channels (like HBO and Showtime) online without having a paid subscription or waiting for the DVDs to be released.

I’d really appreciate any advice any of you might have for getting rid of cable. Not watching tv isn’t an option, but I’d love to not be spending as much as I do right now. Anything that I could save could go to paying down my credit card debit and helping me meet my goal of paying it off completely soon.