Monthly Archives: July 2020

Earthquake Morning (or I Did Ask For Something To Be Different)

Posted on July 31, 2020 | Comments Off on Earthquake Morning (or I Did Ask For Something To Be Different)

I’ve written a lot of posts lately about being bored. My life doesn’t have a lot going on and there isn’t a lot of variety in my days. I will repeat that I am very lucky that I am safe and healthy, but being lucky doesn’t always make me feel better when I feel isolated on my own little planet staying inside my house when it seems like so many people are out living their lives (but I also know that the people out there aren’t always doing the safest thing).

I was talking to a friend the other day about how I just needed something different to happen. I wanted something to be able to focus on that wasn’t what I have been paying attention to for months. And I guess I did get that yesterday morning.

It’s not weird for me to wake up in the middle of the night. Sometimes it’s due to pain and sometimes it’s just general insomnia. I usually take a look at what time it is to see if it’s worth going back to bed or not (if it’s within 30 minutes of when I wake up, I don’t go back to sleep). This doesn’t happen every night, but it’s often enough that I don’t think twice about when it happens. So on Thursday morning, when I woke up around 4:30 am I wasn’t too worried. I took a look at the time, realized there was more than enough time for me to get more sleep, and tried to go back to sleep. And then, we had an earthquake.

Whenever there is an earthquake, I immediately freeze and try to take cover or protect myself somehow. Since I was in bed, I curled into a ball and put my pillows over my head. There isn’t anything next to my bed that could tip and hit me, but if it was a strong enough earthquake, I’m sure something could be thrown around and hit me. And while it’s ideal to be under a piece of furniture, for me to do that I would have to run through my house, which is a very stupid thing to do in an earthquake. So protecting my head with pillows is the best option if an earthquake happens when I’m in bed.

Fortunately, this earthquake wasn’t too bad for me. It was a long rumble and things were shaking a lot (and my windows were shaking so loud), but it didn’t jolt my floor around too much. There was an earthquake while I was sleeping years ago that made my mattress slide off of my box spring. This one wasn’t like that, but it still was an earthquake.

After the shaking stopped, I was wide awake and of course, I wanted to see what funny things people were posting on Twitter (earthquake Twitter is a real thing). And a few minutes after that first earthquake, another one happened, but this was a bit lighter than the first. It turned out the earthquake was a pretty decent size, but it had an epicenter in the valley so it wasn’t that close to me. But a lot of my friends felt it a lot stronger than I did and I’m glad that everyone was ok. And there were some silly jokes on Twitter about how this really fits the theme of this year or how we don’t need a natural disaster and a pandemic at the same time.

I wanted to get back to sleep because I knew I needed more sleep, but I was just too awake at that point. I didn’t get up to start my day because I was hoping at some point I would fall asleep, so I just stayed in my bed and tried to relax. I wasn’t jumpy or scared there would be another or a bigger earthquake, but it did make me think a bit about my earthquake kit. I do have a backpack with all the big supplies I would need in a natural disaster. And I’m almost more prepared than normal because I have extra food in my house. When the pandemic started, I made sure to buy shelf-stable foods in case there was a time I couldn’t get groceries for one reason or another. So I have that food plus the emergency food in my earthquake kit now.

After laying in bed awake for a few hours, it was almost time to get up for my day. And then another earthquake hit. This was a little lighter than the first one but a bit stronger than the second. I know these quakes could be foreshocks for a bigger one, but I’m hoping they were a small main quake and the two after it were the aftershocks. I follow Dr. Lucy Jones, a famous seismologist, on Twitter and she said these quakes are normal and just mean we live somewhere that there are earthquakes. That’s a bit reassuring. I haven’t felt another earthquake since those 3 in the morning, so they might be done. Or at least they might be so small now that I can’t feel them anymore.

I did end up spending most of Thursday tired since I didn’t get a lot of sleep, but at least I didn’t have much I had to do. I had my hour of work and then everything else wasn’t that important. So I took it easy and didn’t do anything too stressful or strenuous. I’m glad I didn’t have a lot I needed to do. Then again, I never seem to have a lot to do these days. But at least having some earthquakes in the morning did give me the variety I’ve been saying I wanted. I should have just been more specific that I wanted some variety that was fun and not a natural disaster. But I guess beggars can’t be choosers.

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Default ThumbnailTurning Myself Into A Morning Person (or Continuing On My Productivity Kick) Default ThumbnailNot My Typically 4th Of July (or Taking Advantage Of A Day Off) Default ThumbnailI Wasn’t Expecting To Write About The Heat Again (or Lazy Days) Default ThumbnailSuper Productive and Super Lazy (or A Balance Over 2 Days) Default ThumbnailLots Of Morning Workouts (or Maybe I Can Be A Morning Person) Default ThumbnailTrip Prep (or How The Earthquake Made Me Super Productive)

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Doing A Health Check-In On Myself (or Seeing Where I’m Slipping)

Posted on July 30, 2020 | Comments Off on Doing A Health Check-In On Myself (or Seeing Where I’m Slipping)

I think it’s a pretty common thing right not to be struggling. We are going through a pandemic and life is so uncertain. People are scared of getting sick or being a carrier and getting someone they love sick. They are lonely at home or if they live with others unable to take time for themselves. Our routines are completely different and it’s hard to figure out a sense of normalcy. Almost everyone I know (at least in the US where the pandemic is still hitting us hard) is struggling with food or weight. I don’t know anyone who says they are doing just as great as they were before.

Struggling sucks. Even when you know that you aren’t alone in the struggle, it doesn’t necessarily make you feel better. And I know that I’m struggling right now. There’s no question about it. I’ve written about different struggles I’ve been having and I think that having an outlet to write about it has helped. But it hasn’t made it go away.

I want to say that I am ok and nobody should worry about me. I’m safe, I’m healthy, and I’m going to be ok. I am not worried about myself or if I’ll be ok because I know I will be. I just sometimes struggle randomly or my brain doesn’t want to remember that this time is temporary and eventually it will be done.

But even though I’m ok, that doesn’t mean I’m ok every day. I don’t believe that I have depression, but I know I have symptoms of being depressed. I am not enjoying some of the things that I know make me happy. There have been days that I wished I could just sleep away the day and thought maybe somehow the next day would be more interesting (even though my days don’t have much variety). I deal with loneliness a lot. The lack of physical contact or touch with others is a big struggle. I crave some of my normal life back and that’s just not possible.

I am working on being more social with friends and family in ways that I can be safely social. But even when I’ve had weeks where I was talking to someone on the phone or had a Zoom hang out almost every day, I still feel lonely. Being alone in my house isn’t easy. If I lived somewhere bigger, I might have asked a friend if they wanted to stay with me during this time so we didn’t have to be alone. But that’s not exactly an option for me right now. And I don’t know if seeing a friend from a distance is going to be enough for me. I know it helps because it has given me a boost when I have done it. But I also wonder if I won’t get the same boost now as I did before because I’m struggling more.

And I know my physical health is struggling too. This time is exceptionally hard for anyone with an eating disorder. I know I’ve gained weight in the past few months. Some of it is possibly stress-related, but I also know that I haven’t been eating the way that I should and my workouts aren’t as hard as they normally are. So it would make sense that I would gain weight. But I hate it. I feel really uncomfortable in my body right now. I want to get my weight back to where it was. I would prefer to work on losing weight again, but just to get back to where I was in March would be so nice. I’m trying to do the right things to get myself back on track, but then I slip up. This feels so much harder than any other time with my eating disorder and I wish I could figure out what I need to do to start getting back to the old me.

I remember seeing something on social media about how we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves now to ourselves before the pandemic started. We aren’t the same people that we were before. We are dealing with things that we never have had to go through. We are trying to live our lives through a pandemic and it’s a mix of normal life and everything being crazy. Struggling right now is normal. And it’s also normal to reach out for help. I have reached out to my therapist to make sure that I shouldn’t be worried about how I’m struggling. And I’ve been told that I’m doing ok, but if I feel like I need some help then we can discuss medication. I don’t want to go that route yet (just because of how often I deal with side effects), but I’m glad it is an option I can explore if I feel like I need it.

Hopefully writing this all down is going to help me feel a bit better about things. I can tell that it does feel like a bit of the weight holding me down has been lifted. I don’t know if this post will help me find a way back to the old me or a way to get back on track, but right now all I want to get to is to feel like I’m not struggling as much. It’s a small goal, but it would make me feel so much better.

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Needing To Take Care Of Myself (or Not Ignoring All Pain)

Posted on July 29, 2020 | Comments Off on Needing To Take Care Of Myself (or Not Ignoring All Pain)

Pain is a daily thing for me. It’s not fun and I wish my life wasn’t this way, but I have learned to deal with it. Most of my pain is related to either my hips or monthly cramps. I know what to take to try to make them better and I know that it’s nothing to worry about. Pain is just a way of life for me and I have accepted it.

But because I deal with pain every day, I also think that I ignore some other pain my body has from time to time. I don’t want to obsess over every ache and pain that I have and I’m pretty good at not paying attention to it. But at the same time, when I have pain that doesn’t go away, I don’t want to ignore it and realize things might be getting worse. And that’s something that I have been dealing with for a little while.

I had some weird pain in my elbow for the last month or so. And it just started out feeling like I might have bruised something or pulled a muscle. I didn’t think too much about it and figured it would go away. But it hasn’t been going away and it’s been getting worse. Now, there is a constant pain in my elbow and forearm. And when I wake up, my arm is hurting so much that it takes a few minutes before I can really move it.

I know this probably sounds a lot worse than it is, but it’s also not something to ignore. And based on my symptoms and where the pain is located, I’m pretty sure it’s tennis elbow. This is good because it’s not serious but not so good because there really isn’t much you can do to make it go away.

But there are some things I can do to make it better and easier to deal with while it gets better. So I’ve ordered some things like an arm brace that is supposed to support the tendons in my arm better so they don’t hurt. And a supplement that was recommended by people I know who have had the same issue. These things are supposed to arrive today so hopefully, they start to make things feel a bit better soon. But I also know it might take a month or so before I really feel like things are improving.

I guess this isn’t the worst thing or the worst timing. I’m not doing much so at least the pain isn’t affecting my life too much. And I have the time to rest and take it easy. But it still is unfortunate that I’m in pain because even though I’m used to it it’s never a fun time.

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Feeling Like I Have Nothing To Say (or I Can’t Let This Isolate Me More)

Posted on July 28, 2020 | Comments Off on Feeling Like I Have Nothing To Say (or I Can’t Let This Isolate Me More)

I’ve written on here about not having much to say. I have worried about running out of ideas for blog posts and if I should take a break. Fortunately, I haven’t run into that problem just yet, but I have come close. There have been plenty of times I have worried about what I would write until the last minute. Or I just write about not having anything to say. My life is pretty boring these days. Some days I work for an hour (although I might be getting a few more hours soon). Some days I exercise. Some days I watch movies on a streaming service. I don’t have much else going on in my life. I don’t think many people who are single and living alone have a lot of other stuff happening, so I know I’m not alone in this.

I really thought running out of things to write on here would be the biggest issue about being bored or not having much going on in my life. I don’t like being bored, but it doesn’t really affect anyone else as long as I’m safe and healthy. But I didn’t think of other things that being bored and having nothing happening could lead to until recently.

We are over 4 months into things and I think some things are only just hitting me now. When the safer at home orders started, I think we all had a few reactions right away. Most of us probably thought this would be over within a month or two. I know I thought that. I was so sure that by the start of summer things would be somewhat normal again. And the other thought a lot of us had was a sense of fear or panic and we were just very worried about what would happen. I had that feeling too. The stress of what would or could happen was a bit overwhelming. Now that things are a bit more routine or normal (or as normal as isolating at home can be), I don’t have that same fear any more. I do still worry about what would happen if I got sick because I do live alone. But that’s also why I am being extra cautious and really don’t leave my house at all.

Now, I have no clue how much longer this safer at home idea will last. If I’m being realistic, I think we will be doing this until there is a vaccine (so until next year at least). I think there is a chance that it will take until next summer for things to be somewhat normal. And while that does suck, sacrificing one year of my life for being alive for hopefully another 50 years is worth it. So I’m just dealing with this and taking things day by day.

I’m not used to physical isolation and I think this will always be a struggle. Humans are not meant to be without any touch. But I have accepted that this is going to be this way for a while. But I have tried to not isolate myself socially. There are so many ways to stay in touch with people while not being with them. I’ve been doing a lot of Zoom hangouts and virtual movie nights. And those help some. Especially the virtual movie nights because that does give me something to talk about. But I’m starting to realize that running out of things to say isn’t just limited to this blog.

In normal times, I either talk on the phone or text with friends and family every day. But now, I’m not doing that too often. I do call my parents whenever I have a specific question about something or have something to update them on. But that’s not as often as I normally talk to them. And when I do have something to update them on (like the union election), they usually will ask me at some point if there is anything else happening. And the answer is pretty much no. I don’t have anything happening. And that’s ok because it’s what is keeping me safe and healthy to the best of my ability. And I know my parents are happy that I’m not going out and doing lots of stuff because they have the same fear as I do about if I got sick while living alone. And the same issue happens with my friends. I usually am trying to plan random outings and now there is nothing happening. I might do a socially distanced hangout at the park in the next week or two, but that’s still up in the air. And it doesn’t take the same type of planning as a Disney day does. So I’m not talking to my friends much right now either. Because how many times can you say “I’m bored doing nothing”?

I know I’ve been doing this for the past few months, but it’s only been hitting me a lot the past few weeks. I have realized how little I’ve reached out to my friends because I don’t have much to say. I feel bad complaining when I know I’m much luckier than some of my friends. And I worry that I will sound so negative and I don’t like being that way. That’s not an excuse to not reach out to people, but it’s the excuse I’ve been making to myself. I don’t know how to fix it, but I need to. Because I can’t isolate myself more and more.

I need to get over my fears of not having anything to say or contribute to a conversation. I need to reach out so I don’t feel more isolated than I do already. It’s not easy, but it’s something that I’m trying to work on now.

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Some Of My Best And Worst Workouts (or A New Type Of Home Workouts)

Posted on July 27, 2020 | Comments Off on Some Of My Best And Worst Workouts (or A New Type Of Home Workouts)

I knew going into this past week of workouts that it might not be a good week for me. I was expecting to have pain and nausea and I never know how it will hit me each month. And this time, it was one of the really bad months. But I also was lucky because it was concentrated within a few days so it wasn’t the entire week that I was miserable.

The worst day for me last week was Monday. I ended up sleeping away a lot of the day because I was feeling so awful. When I woke up that morning, I figured I’d try to do my workout because sometimes that does help a bit. But this time, it just made things worse. There were multiple times that I was worried I would just pass out. I technically made it through about 30 minutes of the workout, but I wasn’t really doing much of it. I didn’t even count it in my workout tracker as a workout because it didn’t feel like I did one.

Wednesday was a bit better, but I was still feeling sick. I did make it through the workout and felt like I did at least a little something. It was far from a good workout for me, but it was not like the attempt I had on Monday. So that made me feel a bit better because I was really down on myself about not being able to do a workout on Monday.

But thank goodness I was feeling better by Friday. I wasn’t completely better, but I was significantly better than how I was for the first half of the week. And it was so important to me to be better for this workout because I was going to have a virtual reunion with some of my workout friends!

One of my coaches at OTF has been doing virtual workout classes over Zoom. My workout friends found a time that we could have a private group class with her and I was so excited to join in. It was different from the official OTF at home workouts since it was a bit customized for us. And the focus was on strength training (not doing any cardio work even though the strength training totally got my heart rate up).

I have needed this workout. Even though I have been very consistent with my home workouts, it’s not like having a coach there. And having this Zoom workout was the hardest and best workout I’ve had in months. I pushed myself so much (although I did have to rest from time to time to let my nausea pass). I don’t think I have had this hard of a workout since my last studio one. Even though it’s still not as good as the studio classes are, it’s significantly better than the videos and it’s much closer to a studio feel.

When the workout was done, I was beyond exhausted. I knew I’d probably be very sore the next day, but I couldn’t stop smiling either. And of course, we had to take a screenshot of the Zoom session as a post-workout photo.

This may end up being a regular Friday thing for my group, so that would be really awesome. I miss my friends so much, and this was a great way to get to see them and feel like I’m not just doing things alone in my house.

Saturday ended up being another great day. I was a bit sore from my hard Friday workout, but nothing too bad. I was able to do the OTF at home video just fine. I do still want to have some new equipment to make those workouts a bit better, but it’s not bad with what I have. And after I completed the video, I got my new jump rope out to do some interval training. I hadn’t done any jump rope work the entire week, mainly due to being nauseous. But I wanted to get at least one session in this week.

I did similar intervals to what I had done before. 15 seconds of jumping with 30 seconds of rest. I don’t know if I’m ready to increase the interval times just yet, so I increased how many rounds I did. Last time, I did 6 rounds. This time, I did 8. And I was able to jump the entire time without tripping for 5 of those 8 rounds. For the 3 that I tripped, I just got right back to it and kept going. I’m still shocked by how quickly I have been able to pick this up. Now I just have to work on my endurance to work on making the intervals a bit longer.

Even though the beginning of last week started off pretty bad, I’m so glad I ended on a good note. I had 2 amazing workouts (and 2 not-so-amazing workouts) and that is always something to be proud of. I just hope that I can continue to have a few amazing workouts this week.

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Celebrating A New Contract (or Feeling Good About This Accomplishment)

Posted on July 24, 2020 | Comments Off on Celebrating A New Contract (or Feeling Good About This Accomplishment)

I wrote about my union contract ratification vote before. This is something we do every 3 years for our TV/Theatrical contract (we have ratification votes on contracts every 3 years, but they happen often since we have so many contracts). But this time, it felt different. I don’t know why it got as contentious as it did, but it was a very odd feeling. I know that there are some people who had heard misinformation about the contract (for example, hearing that we lost all minimums on the contract when it was only for a very small and specific category), so some people were being very vocal against the contract and then changed their minds when they looked more into it.

And educating members so they would look more into it was something I took seriously. Even though I was for the contract, that didn’t mean I didn’t look into it and investigate every part of it. There were parts that I didn’t love as much as others and there were a few things that I wish we could have gotten more into the contract. But overall, it was an amazing contract. We are really working toward putting residuals in things that are more common, like streaming. And we got a lot of protections on set for actors who are doing more vulnerable scenes like nudity or simulated sex. And whenever I heard a member saying they were voting no for a reason that wasn’t factual, I gave them the facts. I said that I understood if they still wanted to vote no, but I wanted them to make that choice on what the contract really said and not the misinformation.

I’ve never been this involved in a contract ratification vote before. And part of that is due to my work with running our social media. Every day, multiple times a day, I would check Twitter and Instagram to see what others were posting about the contract. There were specific hashtags I checked constantly. I wanted to share posts about people excited about the contract or answer questions that some people might have had. But that also meant I would be seeing the posts that were against the contract or were negative. And seeing those every day wasn’t easy. But I tried to keep my focus on the positive ones.

The ratification vote was due on Wednesday, and we all were working hard up until the last minute. Since the voting was done online, we didn’t want to miss a minute to make sure that members were making an educated vote. Of course, I was hoping they would vote to approve, but I also wanted everyone to be educated even if that meant they voted no. And when voting was done, we really had no clue if it would pass or not.

It felt like we waited a long time for the results to come in. I was on a Zoom call with some of my friends from the union about 2 hours after the end of the vote and we were still waiting to hear what happened. And maybe 2 1/2 hours after the end of the vote, we finally saw the press release with the results.

The contract passed! It was 74.22% to 25.78%. And while that was exciting, what I was most excited about was the number of members who voted. In the past, it’s usually between 15-16% of the membership that votes. That number is really low and we have worked hard to try to get more members to be involved and to vote. And this time, we had about 27% of the membership voting! Yes, I know that number is still really low and 2/3rds of the membership did not participate, but we still almost doubled what we typically have. As much as I would have liked to have over 50% participating, this is a good step toward that and hopefully, we will be there in the future.

After I found out the contract passed, I was a bit of an emotional wreck. I worked harder on this vote than I have on any other. I was very involved and very aware of what both sides were saying. I didn’t feel certain it would pass even though I was extremely hopeful that it would. And this wasn’t just my effort. Hundreds of people worked hard to make this happen. I am so grateful to everyone who got the message out and voted. This was huge. And I am so proud of what we as a union accomplished.

Now, we just have to hope that we can reopen things soon so we can start working on this contract. I hope that I have a chance to do that soon. We worked hard for this, and I can’t wait to get to use it!

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Another Amazing You Are The Union Livestream (or Learning So Much About Being A Better Ally)

Posted on July 23, 2020 | Comments Off on Another Amazing You Are The Union Livestream (or Learning So Much About Being A Better Ally)

Every one of the You Are The Union livestreams that we have done so far has been incredible. I am so proud of what we have accomplished with them so far and the engagement we have been getting from people who are watching them. I’m so lucky that Amir and I were able to figure out how to make these happen and I think both of us are so excited to see what we can do in the future with it.

One thing that we have focused on is bringing attention to different parts of our industry. We did that with the BLM livestream that we did. And we did it again a week ago when we had a livestream about performers with disabilities.

Even though I have an invisible disability with my hip issues, I wouldn’t call myself a performer with a disability. I don’t know much about that world and the challenges that PWDs (performers with disabilities) face. So when Amir and I discussed doing this topic for our livestream, I was excited to do it but also nervous because I didn’t want to accidentally offend someone.

Fortunately, the panelists that we got for this livestream, Anita and Christine, were amazing! While we were getting everything set up and ready, we explained that we didn’t have a lot of knowledge about this part of the industry and we apologized in advance if we said the wrong thing. They both said that they appreciated us giving them a space to have an open chat with all members on how to be better allies for PWDs because many are afraid to ask the questions that might not be the most appropriate thing to ask.

The other thing that I’m so proud of with this livestream is that we were able to make it accessible for anyone hard of hearing. We would love to have live captions for our livestreams, but right now that isn’t feasible due to the cost (but if anyone knows of pro-bono organizations that do that, please let me know!). But we reached out to some of our friends who have studied ASL and they were able to connect us to interpreters who were able to do live ASL interpreting throughout the entire thing! We knew if we wanted to do a livestream about PWDs, we couldn’t leave out an entire community of performers. We didn’t know how we were going to accomplish this, but we were so lucky to have Elizabeth and Diana be our ASL interpreters and they did an amazing job.

Whenever we have these livestreams, I don’t get to fully pay attention because I am running all the behind the scenes stuff. But I always do get to watch a little bit. And every time I watched this one, I was just in awe. The conversation was incredible, we got some really good questions from the people watching, and seeing the live ASL interpreting happening made me so happy. Amir and I had a goal to make this livestream fully accessible, and through connections we had and the generosity of several people, we were able to do just that. Sometimes I’m just amazed at what we can get done considering we are just 2 members doing a livestream.

Since I can’t always focus on the livestream completely when it happens, I always watch it after (I also have to do some editing to add cards to the beginning and end for the replays). And this one I made sure that when I watched it after, I gave it my full attention. I wanted to make sure I heard all the lessons and advice that was shared. We did this livestream to not only educate other members but to educate ourselves. And I didn’t want to miss out on that opportunity. I learned so much and I can’t wait until we can have another livestream on PWDs because I know there is so much more for me to learn.

If you have not had a chance to watch this livestream, please watch the replay. You can learn so much about how we all can help our fellow members. And helping each other succeed is so important.

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Default ThumbnailMore Virtual Union Meetings (or It’s Funny I Wrote About This Not Long Ago) Default ThumbnailSharing My Union With A Friend (or Continuing To Be Inspired And Involved) Default ThumbnailLearning So Much From Union Working (or Getting Ready For Contract Negotiations) Default ThumbnailYou Are The Union (or Finding More Ways To Educate Other Union Members) Default ThumbnailAnother Successful Livestream (or Fixing Issues And Working On A System) Default ThumbnailMore Union Education (or Making Sure Ads Go Union)

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Sleeping Away The Day (or Sometimes The Pain and Nausea Are Just Too Bad)

Posted on July 22, 2020 | Comments Off on Sleeping Away The Day (or Sometimes The Pain and Nausea Are Just Too Bad)

Every month, it’s not a surprise for me when I have to deal with pain and nausea. It’s not fun and I wish I could change this about my life, but there aren’t really any options for me that are reasonable at this moment. I could try birth control pills again, but those will likely make my tumors grow again. There’s a small chance that it won’t do that, but it’s not worth the risk for me right now. The other option is to have a hysterectomy. I’ve actually thought more seriously about this lately, but I’m not ready to take that step just yet. So until then, I just have to deal with the pain and nausea every month.

I’ve said to many people that I feel like there is a set amount of pain and nausea I have to have each cycle. Just to explain it, let’s say I have to get 100 points of pain and nausea. Sometimes, it’s 10 points for 10 days. Sometimes it’s 20 points for 5 days. But that’s a general idea. But sometimes, I feel like I get almost all the pain and nausea in just one or two days and it’s close to unbearable.

That’s exactly what happened on Monday. I had mild nausea for the few days leading up to Monday, but Monday was just the worst. The pain was making my vision go white from time to time (like what my hip pain can do at times). The nausea made me want to live on my bathroom floor all day. I honestly don’t remember having a day that bad ever, but I’m also sure that if I have my mind blocked it because it was so bad. I tried to work out and that kind of failed (more about that in my workout recap next week). I had to get some work stuff done and I did it, but it took me significantly longer than it should have because I had to keep stepping away.

And when I was done with all the stuff I had to do, I went to lay down to try to feel better. And I ended up sleeping away almost the entire day. At least when I was asleep, I wasn’t feeling the pain or nausea. I’m sure I needed some sleep because I haven’t been sleeping well lately, but this was mainly sleeping to make the day go by faster and easier. And it did do that, so I’m grateful for it.

I’m writing this post on Tuesday and I’m still pretty miserable. It’s not as bad as Monday was, but it’s still pretty bad. I’m planning on resting in bed for most of the day while medicating myself and having heat pads. I might end up sleeping the day away but I also know doing that can mess up my sleep schedule a bit. But sometimes, that’s all I can do for the day, and the best self-care that I can do is to not have to deal with the day.

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Finishing Up At The Dentist (or This Is Even Harder When You Feel Bad)

Posted on July 21, 2020 | Comments Off on Finishing Up At The Dentist (or This Is Even Harder When You Feel Bad)

When I was at the dentist recently, I left knowing I’d be back soon to finish the work that was started. I left with my old crown being used as a temporary one and my new permanent one would be done in about a week. But due to shipping delays, my second appointment had to be pushed back by a week. I was fine with that because I couldn’t really change anything. But I also knew that the new date would fall when I might be nauseous.

And of course, that’s exactly what ended up happening to me. Fortunately, my dentist was very understanding that I was feeling awful and tried to make everything as easy on me as possible. She was able to work quickly and my new permanent crown was on with very little effort. There was a little concern about how it was feeling on one side, but I think that was mainly due to my gums being a bit swollen from having work done.

And after that was done, I finally got my teeth cleaned. I typically go in every 4 months. This time, it had been more like 6 months since I was in for a cleaning. So things weren’t as easy as normal. Combine that with my gums being a bit swollen from getting the permanent crown put on and the fact that your gums tend to bleed easily when you are about to have your period, and it wasn’t my best cleaning. I got through it and everything that needed to be done was done, but it wasn’t my best.

And because of how tough things were and how waiting much longer than normal showed on my teeth, I am going to start going back every 3 months for a little while. Hopefully, I’ll be able to go back every 4 months after a year or so, but I need to get back to a good baseline before doing that. I knew this was possibly going to happen, but at the same time, there wasn’t much I could have changed about it. When I was supposed to go in, everything was closed. I only waited a few weeks after they reopened before I had to go in. I did the best I could considering the circumstances. And I guess I should be happy my crown needed to be replaced because I would have waited longer without that issue.

I’m not too happy that things were worse for me, but I’m glad that it was taken care of. And I’m also glad that I have discovered that there is a union-related program I can sign up for that would get me a discount on all my dental work. I’m still working on getting things set up and it wouldn’t have been able to help me with the costs from these last 2 appointments. But going forward it should help quite a bit. In a normal year when I just have my regular cleanings, I should break even with the cost of the discount program. But if I need major work like I did this time, it should save me hundreds. That’s pretty awesome. And I was able to confirm that my dentist does accept this program.

At least for now, I’m done with dental work. I’ll be back in 3 months for what should hopefully be just a cleaning. And hopefully, I won’t be feeling as bad as I did this time.

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Figuring Out Some Cardio (or Working With What I Can)

Posted on July 20, 2020 | Comments Off on Figuring Out Some Cardio (or Working With What I Can)

I knew going into this past week of workouts that it might be a challenging one for me due to the pain and nausea I was expecting to have. What I didn’t expect was that the week would be challenging because of something I decided to do.

Ever since I started working out at home (which was 4 months ago now), I have known that I would need to find ways to do the home workouts with a lot of effort. I have gotten weights and other exercise things in my house now and it has been so helpful that I had things to make my workouts harder. There are still things I wish I had and do searches online to see if I can find, but I’m in a pretty good spot with what I have been able to get and I know that I am working hard.

But the place that I know I’ve been slacking off for the last few months has been my cardio. I have been doing the cardio portions during the at-home workouts to the best of my ability. And I do a lot of running in place when I can to try to get a little more cardio work in each workout. But it’s not the same as my OTF workouts in the studio. I have looked at getting or renting cardio equipment, but that hasn’t worked out for me just yet. And at some point, I probably should give up on that idea. But I didn’t want to fully give up on cardio, so I had to think of a new idea.

And when I was doing some online shopping for supplies, I did a little searching for exercise stuff (because you never know when you can find dumbbells for sale). And one of the things that came up were jump ropes. I’ve never really been someone who jump roped except in elementary school. I do have orthopedic issues that made me hesitate about getting one. But I figured that I already surpassed all expectations for my hips so far, so I might as well go for it. And if it was too painful, I didn’t have to keep doing it.

The jump rope didn’t get to me until the end of the week. And that worked out well because my pain and nausea ended up mainly being toward the beginning of the week. I did still have some struggles for the rest of the week, but it was much easier for me during my Friday and Saturday workouts. So I went for it with the jump rope.

For Friday, I didn’t really have a plan for what I wanted to do. I knew I needed to shorten the rope and I had to find a place in my house where I had the space to do it (I didn’t feel like being in front of my house). And then it was time to just try to do it. I started with jumping rope with double jumps (so I had a little jump between each time I jumped over the jump rope). But I had seen some articles online that said not to do it that way because it can make things harder. So I tried to find a rhythm to do it without the extra bounce. It wasn’t easy, but I managed to do it. And I set a goal to be able to do 20 jumps without tripping on the rope. I did it after about 8 attempts. And by that point, I was exhausted and ready to be done.

On Saturday, I again did some jump rope work after my OTF at home workout. I originally thought I would try to do another jump count challenge, but that didn’t seem to be the right thing to do after I surpassed my challenge goal on the first try (which I never expected). So I found an app to do some interval counting for me and I did 6 rounds of 15 seconds of work and 30 seconds of rest. I know it doesn’t seem like a lot, but it felt like it! And I need to ease myself into this since it’s not easy. But I’m proud of what I was able to do.

I’m hoping I can still do some jump rope work this week. But if my nausea is really bad, I might not be able to do so. It’s going to be something I just have to try and see how I feel. But I’m excited to have a new cardio thing to challenge myself with. I don’t know how many days a week I will use it, but I’m hoping to build up to doing it for each of my home workouts. I need to get more cardio work done. I know I need to. But it’s been hard to figure out what I can do at home. Now, I need to be glad that I found something that fits into my space and I just have to build up my endurance.

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