Monthly Archives: April 2018

A Fun And Unique Workout Week (or Not Letting Setbacks Set Me Back)

This past week of workouts could have been pretty bad for me, but I was able to stay positive and it ended up not being so bad. I really have learned how to manage my setbacks recently and not let them control my workouts. I do have to be careful with myself and not push myself too hard, but I also know that being super easy on myself isn’t always the best thing either.

Monday’s workout was a bit of a weird day. On Sunday evening, while I was getting out of the shower, I felt a very sharp tinge in my calf muscle. I pretty quickly recognized it as the start of a tear in the muscle (something that I’m sadly familiar with). I took it easy on Sunday night, but on Monday my calf was still feeling a bit tender so I knew I would need to be taking it easy in the workout. Fortunately, it was a 3 group workout so I knew that I wouldn’t be at any part of the room for too long.

I started on the rower where we had one long block. We started with a 600 meter row followed by squat front raises. Then the row went down 200 meters and we continued that pattern going down and back up until time was done. Because of how I bandaged my calf, I wasn’t able to row that hard. I knew my rowing times would be on the slower side and I didn’t concern myself too much about how long each row too. I was on the floor next where we had one long block that was split into 3 segments. The first segment was doing pull overs on the BOSU followed by hammer curls. The second segment was hop overs on the BOSU and then knee tucks on the BOSU. And the last segment was running man and then BOSU burpees. Because of my calf I had to do some modifications such as lunges instead of hop overs, skipping the knee tucks, and limiting how much I did with the burpees.

I ended the workout with cardio. Between the calf issue, knowing I’d be at Disneyland later, and doing cardio at the end; I knew I’d have to use the bike. There really wasn’t an option for me if I wanted to be able to do stuff after my workout. There were 2 blocks and they had decreasing push paces. I worked on getting the watts and cadence on the bike up during all the push paces even if I was using the same resistance. I think I did a pretty good job at doing that and I was feeling like I was working hard. I wished I could have used the treadmill since I have been tracking my miles in my workouts, but I am glad I went with the bike because it was a good break for my body while still allowing myself to feel a bit challenged.

Fortunately my calf was doing much better by Wednesday. Even though I did a lot of walking on Monday, I think the compression bandage along with resting on Tuesday helped so that I was feeling almost completely better by my Wednesday workout. And that workout ended up being a strength day with another benchmark challenge. This time, the benchmark was the 500 meter row.

I looked at my past 500 meter row challenges and knew that there was no way I would do a new PR. My best one was about 15 seconds faster than I thought I could do it this time. It was nice to have that pressure off of me since I knew my calf was almost better but not totally better. Instead, I just decided to set a new idea of what time I would like to be under. The goal for everyone in class was to be under 2:30 (my PR is about 1:45), so I decided that I wanted to be under 2:15. And I accomplished that with some time to spare so I was very happy with my 500 meter row attempt. Eventually I’ll get back to where I can PR again and it will be awesome when I can beat my best time. But I’m glad I just beat the mini-goal that I had set for myself.

The treadmill work was 2 blocks and I did go with the treadmill. The workout was a strength workout which means inclines, but I just kept my inclines to my normal ones I use for push and all out paces. The first block was decreasing push paces and the second block was increasing push paces. Considering how I was feeling on Monday, I was just glad that I wasn’t feeling really any pain in my calf. I occasionally had a little soreness, but I also wondered if that pain could be do to me always putting a little bit more on my left side since it is my right hip that hurts. I took breaks when I needed to, but it wasn’t anything worse than what I normally do.

The floor was one long block with 5 different exercises and a row. We had deadlifts, low rows on the straps, goblet lateral lunges, plank crunches, and bicycle crunches. For the deadlifts and lunges I went with heavier weights than I normally do. I figured it was a strength day and I should be working on going heavier. It was a bit tough for the lunges, but for the deadlifts it didn’t feel that different from what I usually feel with the weights I usually use. I do need to work on using the heavier weights more often and I’m glad that I did it this time. After the exercises we had a 250 meter row. I was a bit lazy with the row each time I did it and I was a bit slower than we were supposed to be doing the row in. But I figured that was my rest time during the floor block and once I was done with the row I tried to jump right back into the exercises instead of taking a quick break then.

Friday’s workout was an endurance, strength, and power day and it was also a Capture The Flag workout. The first half of class was a regular class with the treadmill work and floor work. On the treadmill it was push paces followed by base paces and in the end there was a push to all out pace. I was at my normal treadmill speed and inclines because my calf was feeling pretty much completely healed that morning! I was struggling a bit with hip issues and I didn’t sleep enough the night before, but I would rather have those problems since I’m used to them than the calf issue.

For the Capture The Flag workout, we were all in teams of 2. I started on the floor/treadmill work which included squat twists with a medicine ball, double crunches, and push ups. And then there was a sprint on the treadmill. Then I tagged my partner and she did the floor/treadmill work while I just focused on rowing for distance. The goal was to get the rower distance as high as possible and I really wanted to make sure I was being an equal teammate and doing at least my share of the rowing work. Fortunately, we were pretty equal as far as rowing ability and the time it took us to complete the floor/treadmill work. And when we were done with Capture The Flag, I think we had a pretty good distance on the rower! I would have loved to be at 5,000 meters, but in my head my goal was to just be at least at 4,500 meters which we did!

Saturday was a Tornado workout. I’m used to these for my 3 group workouts, but to have one for a 2 group workout was fun. It was the first Tornado at the Culver City location so they were trying to keep things a bit simple. We had 5 rounds around the room. The first round was 1 minute, the second round 2 minutes, the third round 4 minutes, the fourth round 2 minutes, and the last round was 1 minute. On the treadmill, things were pretty much the same for every round with a push to all out pace. I stuck with walking and had my normal speed and inclines.

On the rowers, we just did timed rows for each block. The 4 minute timed row was really tough and that surprised me since I know I’ve done longer rows than 4 minutes. But it might have been the combination of the longish row plus all the other work I had done before that. And on the floor, we had all Bosu work. Most of the rounds were timed Bosu work like doing burpees, plank jacks to pop jacks, and plank work. It wasn’t that easy to do a lot of the exercises on the Bosu and I ended up doing many of them on the floor instead. But to me it’s more important to just keep working than to give up because I found things too hard.

Overall, I’m pretty proud of myself for this past week of workouts. I had a lot of times where I could have just not tried as hard because I felt not 100%. But I was so motivated to keep going and I’m glad that I did. The only thing that wasn’t super great this past week was the mileage I got in each class. When we had Capture the Flag and the Tornado workout, I wasn’t on the treadmill for as long as I usually am in class. It’s not horrible that I didn’t get as much mileage in each workout because that just meant I was on the rower more, but considering this is a monthly challenge for me I really was hoping to have a ton of treadmill miles. But hopefully this week will make up for it!

1500 Posts (or This Really Is Just A Part Of My Life)

While I do have my blog anniversary marked in my calendar, I really don’t think too much about blog milestones much anymore. I actually missed acknowledging my 1,000th post because I didn’t think about it. And the only reason why I knew this would be my 1,500th post is because 2 weeks ago someone asked me how many blog posts I’ve done so far. I looked up the number and realized this milestone was coming up. While I knew I had written a bunch of posts since my last milestone post, I honestly had no clue that I was about to get to another milestone.

If I hadn’t been asked about it, I could have gone several months without checking to see how many posts I’ve done. When I started, it was such a big deal when I realized how many posts I had done because it was proof of me following through with a goal to keep this blog. But it’s become so normal for me now that I don’t really know what a milestone really means for me.

On the days I don’t write a blog post (either I don’t need one for the next day or I’m blogging in advance and don’t need to write), it almost feels weird and that something is missing in my life. I’m so used to having the time most days to reflect on a specific event or subject that when I don’t have that moment I miss it. I almost crave the time I take to write my posts. I don’t crave it enough to try to blog every single day (5 days a week is enough), but it really has become almost a part of my self-care work. It would be nice if other aspects of my life could feel so needed to me like meal planning, cooking, or stretching. But for now, I can be happy that blogging feels so natural and normal.

But even though in a way having a milestone like this doesn’t feel like a big deal because this blog is just a part of my life, it is a big deal and I should recognize that. I have several blogger friends who either just didn’t like blogging or didn’t feel like they could keep up with it. Even friends of mine who were much more successful than I am have decided it wasn’t worth it. Maybe they felt like the money they got wasn’t worth it, but I find this so worth it even though I don’t make money from here (I do have ads and affiliate links, but I’ve made under $100 over the entire lifetime of my blog).

I have had people ask me how long I’m going to keep blogging. For me, I really can’t see myself stopping. I can imagine in the future maybe I won’t be blogging every day (I had that thought last year when I was going to have surgery), but I don’t see an end point yet. Maybe in the future I’ll be done with doing this, but this blog isn’t necessarily about a journey that will have a conclusion. This is the journey of my life and there have been lots of twists and turns that I never imagined when I started this. Obviously I never thought I’d have liver tumors and that took my blog in a new direction. I also never thought I’d be blogging about dating (partially because that felt too personal and partially because I didn’t have much to say), but I’ve written lots of posts about that too. And I’m sure that there will be so many more posts about things in the future that I can’t imagine right now.

It’s funny to think about how worried I was to be a good blogger when I started when in reality I just needed to be consistent, true to myself, and honest. I’m not the most interesting person and I know there are plenty of boring posts on here, but that’s the truth of my life. And even if I feel like I don’t have anything interesting in my life, I’ve got 1,500 posts on here saying otherwise. And while I know that not all 1,500 posts have been the most interesting ones, they are proof of the life that I’m living and that I am making progress in many aspects of my life.

Enjoying More Food and Wine Festival (or Enjoying A Hot Day At Disneyland)

The last time I was at Disneyland, it was during the beginning of the Food and Wine Festival. I got the pass to be able to try different foods at the festival cheaper than they would be on their own because I figured I’d be going at least another time or two before the festival ended. But I forgot about spring break and how long that would block my pass from being good. So since the festival was ending this week my friends and I knew we needed to get to Disneyland. It had been pretty typical spring weather recently, but of course the day we planned on going it ended up being almost as hot as it gets in the summer. But that wasn’t going to stop us from having fun!

I had a few tickets left on my food pass and Dani and Michelle got a pass to split between the two of them. It ended up working pretty great for us each to get to try a few things. When we got to the park, we started with getting some lunch. I had the pork roast which had coleslaw on it and it was really flavorful!

And because it was so hot out, I also got the orange vanilla float. I haven’t had soda in several years so it felt a bit weird having soda in this. But it wasn’t really like drinking soda (more like an ice cream shake). It really was the perfect thing to have to try to feel more comfortable in the heat.

Later in the day I also had the tacos that I had the last time but totally forgot to take photos of it! It was still as good as the last time I had it.

Because of the heat, we had a pretty lazy day. When we got to the park, we had our food first and then started to do some rides. While we were at the California Adventure side we did Toy Story Mania, The Little Mermaid, Soarin’ Around The World, and Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout.

But we took our time getting from one ride to another. When we were going between The Little Mermaid and Soarin’, we walked through the path behind Grizzly River Run which we usually don’t do. It’s such a nice area back there and we really enjoyed spending a few minutes by the waterfall because the mist from it was cooling us down.

We also took advantage of the Photopass photographers. We found one by the Hyperion Theater that didn’t really have a line so we decided to go for it. The photographer was really fun and was helping us get some cute photos. And she also set it up so we could have a magical photo (where they add things into the photo to make it special) and I think our magical photo with the balloons was my favorite out of all the ones we got.

When we headed over to the Disneyland side, we took our time getting over to our first ride which was Space Mountain.

The ride didn’t break down so we didn’t get to be on it with the lights on, but I am hoping for that to happen now every time I’m on it since it was so cool when it happened! After that ride we were all starting to feel a bit tired so we ended our day at Disneyland with a quick ride on Buzz Lightyear’s Astro Blasters.

I would have loved to have stayed later, but I think the heat really took it out of me. Even though I knew it was going to be a hot day, it really got to me and I probably should have prepared better. I also ended up being sunburnt even though I had sunscreen on and wore a hat. But the tiredness and sunburn was totally worth it because I always have a pretty amazing day when I’m at Disneyland.

It’s getting closer to when our passes are blacked out for the summer so I’m hoping my friends and I make it once or twice before we can’t go for a while. But being at the parks in the heat reminded me of why I don’t mind my pass not being good for the summer. While there are ways to cool down, it does get uncomfortable for me being that warm and I always have a risk of getting sunburned. But maybe for the next time that I’m there it will be a bit cooler so I can enjoy the last few times in the park before I can’t go back until August.

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A Weird Night In Hollywood (or Another Musical In Our Season)

It had been a little while since my Pantages group had a musical, but we finally had our second show of this season this past weekend. Our shows for the rest of the season will be coming pretty quickly (about once a month) so I’m excited to get to have a bunch of shows to see soon.

Our group’s usual routine is to get dinner before the show at one of the places near the theater. A few of us were on a budget so we decided to go with Shake Shack and we planned when to leave accordingly. But once we got near the theater, we noticed a couple of helicopters and various emergency vehicles with sirens on. We didn’t think too much about it because we were able to get into the parking garage. But as soon as we were at the street level, we saw what was causing all the commotion.

There was a guy climbing a construction crane right across from Shake Shack. Dozens of people were watching him and he didn’t seem to be doing it as a stunt. We were nervous because it didn’t look like he had any safety equipment and none of us wanted to watch him fall. So after a few minutes we headed over to the restaurant to have dinner before the show. By the time we were walking over to the theater, the guy was still on the crane but it turns out that he was apprehended pretty soon after the show started. It was a pretty weird start to our evening, but we were excited to be going to a show and having a fun night.

The show this time was “Love Never Dies” which is the sequel to “Phantom Of The Opera”.

I’ve shared on here before that Phantom isn’t necessarily my favorite show. I did enjoy it when I saw it the last time, but it’s still not at the top of my list. So I was a bit worried that I wouldn’t enjoy this show as much as I enjoy most of the shows. But I tried to have as open of a mind that I could and the excitement of the rest of the group helped me to be more excited.

Unfortunately, my concerns were pretty accurate. I thought the costumes and sets were amazing. And the performers were some of the best that we’ve seen. But the story wasn’t one that I connected with or loved and that was a bit frustrating. I really want to love every show that I see because I know how hard everyone works to put on a great performance. And this time I wanted to love it even more because I discovered that someone I worked with at Universal Studios about 10 years ago was in the cast. But I guess it just wasn’t meant to be for me.

The rest of my group felt a similar way about the show so I didn’t feel too bad that I wasn’t in love with it. And we all agreed that it had so many things going for it but we just weren’t connecting with the story. But that’s the risk you take when you see so many shows. There’s no way for us to love everything and sometimes a show we really wanted to like just isn’t our taste. But fortunately more often than not we are pleasantly surprised by how great a show is that we weren’t expecting to enjoy.

When the show was done we were glad to see the craziness outside the theater was done so we could easily get to our cars. And I think that even though we didn’t love the show we all still had a great time with our night out. A big part of our fun going to the shows is seeing the show, but we also love having time to hang out together!

We’ve already gotten our tickets for the next season, but our group will be changing then. One member of our group is going to switch what night she will be going to shows so she won’t be going with us. But we found another friend who wanted to join in so we will have a group of 4 next season as well. But this season still has several shows left so it’s not quite time to change things up. And I know that there are a bunch of shows this season that I am so excited to see!

Our next show is only about a month away and I can’t wait because it’s one that I’ve been looking forward to since the season was announced!

Food And Budgeting (or Combining The Two Things I Often Struggle With)

I’ve written several posts about my struggles with food. And I’ve also written a lot about issues with working on a budget that is manageable and will help me pay down my debt. Both of these things are things that I struggle with a lot and it seems like whenever I get a handle on things, something changes and I have to start from the beginning again. I know there is a connection between addiction/eating disorders and debt, but the connection for me is just starting to register.

Since food is something I will always need to buy, I have to budget for it. But things change week to week on what I need so I’m much more flexible with my budget in that category. I try to stay within a budget that I set for each week, but if I have to buy food and I’ve already hit what I wanted to spend that week I still have to get food. I know that some of this extra spending is due to lack of planning, and I’m working on that. I also have realized that I’ve been letting food go to waste if I forget to eat it and that adds to my expenses. So I’ve been working on fixing both of these problems at once.

Recently my dermatologist put me on an antibiotic that I took twice a day for 2 weeks. I had to take the medication with food and I couldn’t take it at the same time as my morning medications because of issues with the antibiotic and a multivitamin. So I planned on taking it at lunchtime and dinnertime each day since that would work with taking it with food. At that same time I started working out at the Culver City Orangetheory location, which meant lots of early morning workouts. And I can’t really eat too much before a morning workout, but at the same time I can’t work out on an empty stomach. So I had to start experimenting with what I eat and when I eat.

This can totally change (because like I said, things always change when I think I finally have a handle on it), but right now it’s been working to drink a little bit of chocolate milk before my workout and then having a meal around 11am (brunch?) and then dinner. While I know that I should be eating 3 meals a day at least, this plan has been working for a bit for both my weight loss and my budget. When I only have to think about 2 meals a day, somehow it’s easier for me to meal plan. And it’s almost more like 1 meal a day because I eat pretty much the same thing each day as my mid-day meal.

I know that for some people this is a no-brainer. Eating the same thing every day is a weight loss strategy that works for many people. Having a lack of variety does work for some people, but it’s never really worked for me before. The only exception to this was when I was doing the UCLA diet when there was no variety as I had the same thing 6 times a day. But when I could choose from whatever I wanted, having a lack of variety would lead to me doing last-minute grocery store runs to get something else to eat because I was bored with the plan I had.

I don’t know if it is timing or doing the morning workouts, but the lack of variety is working for me. The number on my scale is slowly going down and I’ve been able to limit how often I need to go to the grocery store. I still have some wasted food, but it’s significantly less than it was before. And I know that if I work on planning things out a bit better, I can improve on the budgeting even more.

Even though I’ve known that my food budget was a bit out of control, things just finally clicked with me recently that I needed to work on this. It’s one of the few areas in my budget that has flexibility and I know that it is possible to eat what I need to while spending less money. Hopefully having this plan will not only keep my budget in a better place but will continue to limit how often I have to confront what I want to eat. If I don’t have to think about it, I can avoid grocery stores when I know that I am just looking for junk food to eat.

Just like every other time I think I have things worked out, I am hopeful that this may work but I am also realistic that this could just be something that is working temporarily. But I hope that whatever skills and tricks I learn while this is working are things that I can keep using even if I can’t keep up the current plan.

Getting Back Into The Groove (or Rediscovering My Strength)

I feel like for so long I’ve been saying I’ve been in a bit of a slump with my workouts. I had a couple of different setbacks that I just couldn’t seem to get over (both physically and mentally). But more recently it seems like things have been getting better and better. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting better or my workout schedule is better for me, but whatever is causing it I’m just glad that I now feel so much more like myself.

Monday’s workout was at the Brentwood studio. I’m finding it so weird that it’s starting to feel less familiar to me even though I’ve been going there for almost 4 years! But no matter what, I’m comfortable there and I was happy to be back there for a workout. But the funny thing was that one of my Culver City studio coaches was subbing there so it was a mix of being at Brentwood and being at Culver City.

It was a 3 group class and it was power and strength based so we had shorter work but inclines on the treadmills. And I did go on the treadmill again. I did notice that the treadmill felt different from the treadmill at the other studio, but that’s just a quirk I’ll need to get use to. We had 2 blocks on the treadmill and the first block was all 75 second intervals and the second block was all 45 second intervals. We had push paces at inclines followed by base paces. I kept my inclines at 6% for all the push paces even though we were supposed to be increasing them because I was dealing with a little bit of hip pain, but just being on the treadmill to me felt like a win. Both blocks ended with a 30 second push pace to a 30 second all out pace and I did 8% as my all out incline.

Next I was on the rower where we had one block that started with a 600 meter row. Then we had squats and arm raises with a medicine ball before going back to the rower. We decreased the row and increased the medicine ball work each round. I was rowing pretty decently but I think I picked too heavy of a medicine ball because I was struggling with that work. But I got through 3 rounds before that block was over and I was over to the floor. The first block on the floor was lateral lunges with weights, pull overs, and weighted toe reaches. And the second block was lunges with weights, single arm clean to press with weights, and bench plank single arm low row with weights. For all my floor work I was using pretty heavy weights. I debated about going down to a slightly lower weight, but I decided it would be better for me if I took breaks and finished using the heavier weights than to have no breaks and use lighter weights. I definitely felt it after class in my arms (it was tough to blow dry my hair when I was home!).

Wednesday was a power workout and it was also a benchmark workout. We had the 200 meter row benchmark and it was the first benchmark workout at the Culver City studio. I’ve done the 200 meter row benchmark a few times but I was excited to get it done again to see if I could beat my previous record. The row was at the beginning of the workout so we would all be fresh and not tired while doing it and I felt like I was rowing harder than I ever had before! I was working so hard that my water bottle fell off the rower and I could feel the rower jumping as I was pushing off with my feet. Unfortunately, I missed my record by about 2 seconds, but I still felt pretty great about my 200 meter row.

After the benchmark workout, it was back to the treadmill where we had 3 blocks that were all pretty similar. We had a 2 minute push pace, a base pace, a push to all out pace, and then after a quick walking recovery one more all out pace. I started to have a little headache while on the treadmill and took some breaks because it was getting to me. I have no clue what brought on the headache and it ended up lasting the entire workout and the rest of that day. But I still worked hard on the treadmill and was doing my normal speed and inclines the entire time.

After the treadmill it was over to the floor where we had 3 blocks. We had upright rows using weights, front raises using weights, roll outs on the straps, lunges with the straps, running man, and hop overs. We also had a 45 second sprint row during the first block but I wasn’t going that hard on the rower because of my headache. But for the weight work I was using my heavy weights even as the reps increased during the block. And with my hop overs I was getting a bit more height while hopping which is tough for me to do with my hip issues.

Friday’s workout was an endurance day and I was a bit nervous about it. I feel like I’ve been starting over with the treadmill lately and I know endurance days are the toughest ones for me. But I was going to stick it out with the treadmill and just do my best. We had 3 blocks on the treadmill and they all had a pretty similar format with a 1 minute push pace, a 2 minute push pace, and a 1 minute all out. I kept my speed my regular speed and my inclines the regular inclines I use. And from time to time I did have to take breaks, but I worked through it. Toward the end of the longer push paces I sometimes had to go down to a slow walk (or jump onto the rails to drink some water), but to me that was still pretty good considering how nervous I was about having an endurance day. Toward the end of the treadmill time, I thought about trying to run again during the last all out pace. I knew it would be a minute long and would be my last thing on the treadmill for that workout, but right before that I was getting really tired and decided against it. My form would have been sloppy and I know that running when sloppy wouldn’t be the best way to get back into running.

On the floor we had 1 long floor block. We had hop overs, bench tap squats, plank punches, sit ups, and knee tucks. After going all of the floor exercises we had rowing. I was struggling a bit with the hop overs but I just broke it down and took breaks during that. And for the knee tucks we were supposed to be using the straps but I know I can’t really do those so I was using the ab dolly. After the first round it was a 600 meter row and my time was a bit slower than it should have been. But after the second round we had a 500 meter row and it was under the time we were supposed to be under which made me happy. I was getting through the exercises for the third round on the floor when class was done. I really thought I’d only make it through 2 rounds so to be onto the third boosted my confidence a bit.

Saturday’s workout was an endurance/strength day and it was the OTF Everest workout. While I had been doing great all week with my treadmill work, this workout scared me because I had not been bringing my inclines up that high. But I was determined to do my best and see what would happen.

I started the workout at my normal speed at 2% incline (which is what we all were supposed to start at). That felt pretty great since it’s lower than the inclines I’m used to using. I had it set in my mind that I didn’t want to lower my speed until I was at least at 10% since that is what I used to use as my all out incline. Every minute we went up 1% on the treadmill and until we were at 9% I was feeling pretty good. 10% was tough because it was an incline I don’t use that often, but I made it through that at my normal speed.

I did drop my speed down at 11% and again at 14%, but I was only .2mph slower than my normal speed which was much faster than I thought I could do at that high of an incline. It made me realize that maybe I needed to push myself a bit more on my inclines again. When we were starting to bring the inclines back down I bumped the speed up again at 13% and 10% and went back down at my normal speed from 10% on. And when we had our last 2 minutes, we were supposed to have a push pace and an all out pace. I didn’t think I could get my inclines up that high (my legs were feeling dead!), so I did 6% and 8% but got my speed up .2mph higher than I normally do for my power walking.

I didn’t quite hit my goal distance for the Everest challenge (I wanted to be at 1.4 miles), but considering that I did all the inclines and didn’t reduce my speed as much as I expected I was so happy! I also was thrilled I was able to bump up my speed at the end and it gave me some hope that maybe running can happen again soon.

When I was on the floor, I was so glad it was mainly upper body work since my legs were done after the Everest workout! We had 2 blocks on the floor and the first block was chest presses, hammer curls, and squats to shoulder presses. All of those were exercises with weights and I was using the heavier weights that I go with in my workouts. I had a bit of a tough time with the squats because of how my legs were feeling, but I took my time with those to make sure I didn’t have bad form. After those exercises we had a 250 meter row. My first attempt at the row wasn’t that great. But when I got back to the rower I tried to be steady with my speed and was able to do the row in 1:00.2. I have a goal of being under 1 minute but at least I was close. The second block on the floor was plank low rows with weights, triceps with weights, and leg lifts (the leg lifts were a killer after all the inclines on the treadmill!).

Obviously there are things I could have improved on with this past week of workouts, but I really am just so happy with how it went. I felt so strong after each of these workouts and I was sweatier than ever (and I see being sweaty as a good thing). I don’t know why I was finally able to push through but it was nice to not have so many doubts and excuses in my mind. I don’t know if this momentum will continue, but I really hope it will because these workouts gave me such a high!

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It’s Not Really A Transformation Challenge Fail (or Trying To Be Less Competitive With Myself)

I wrote previously about how I had signed up for the Transformation Challenge at Orangetheory but how I was debating about continuing it. I was at a pretty low point with my weight loss journey where I had been taking on lots of water weight and my body was puffing up. I was thinking about going to get some blood work done to see if it was my thyroid, but many of the symptoms I experienced (feeling cold, more hair loss than normal, the water weight gain) finally started to go away so I’ve postponed going to the doctor.

But because I was dealing with those medical issues, I pretty much gave up on the transformation challenge. I was feeling a bit depressed about how high the number on the scale was even though I knew that it wasn’t all “real” weight. But when you are a part of a transformation challenge that is based on weight loss, there’s no way to determine what weight I might have lost when the scale is actually higher than where I started.

I’m so competitive with myself and I thought it would be difficult to give up on this challenge. But the timing worked out well for me because the last part of the challenge was when I already started working out at the Culver City studio. And that studio wasn’t doing the challenge (new studios don’t do challenges right away) so I wasn’t facing it all the time and that helped keep it out of my mind. In fact, when the final weigh-ins happened for this challenge, I wasn’t at the Brentwood studio any of those days. I could have gone in just to weigh in, but I didn’t worry about it. And the staff there understood my reason and nobody there made me feel bad about it.

Of course, even though others didn’t make me feel bad about it, I still did. I know that I didn’t do anything wrong necessarily, but I still blame myself a little bit. And I would have loved to have won or placed in the challenge because I could always use that boost of confidence. But this time just wasn’t my time and I am working on understanding that. My stubbornness and competitiveness can be good things, but they can also cause me to be upset when there is no reason for me to feel that way.

So while I am feeling a bit down about not completing (or kicking butt in) a challenge, I am trying to think about what various therapists have said to me and focus on the positives. I knew that I wasn’t in the best place mentally or physically and made the smart decision to not continue the challenge. I think that if I did continue the stress may have made a lot of the symptoms I was experiencing worse. I also didn’t use the setback as an excuse to not work as hard. In fact, I think I was working harder to prove to myself that I wasn’t giving up in general but just giving up on this temporary challenge.

Being kind and gentle to myself isn’t something that comes naturally to me. It’s a skill that I’ve been working on for so long and it may be a struggle the rest of my life. Whenever something doesn’t go my way or the way I hoped, I automatically assume it is my fault or I was not worthy of something. It’s rarely the case that it is and I want to try to work on not having the negative reaction as my default. I’ve had enough good stuff happen to me that I should believe that I deserve good and I don’t deserve the bad, but as I’ve said before I think some of the things I heard as a child are just stuck in my mind and will always be demons I need to fight.

But for now, I’m not mad at myself for not completing the challenge. And for me, not being mad is a pretty big victory. And I am choosing to focus on that victory as the big win I had for this transformation challenge.

Continuing To Be Inspired By Podcasts (or Turning A Passion Into A Paycheck)

I’ve written about how much I love podcasts on here before. Podcasts are one of the main forms of entertainment in my life along with tv shows and reading. And while many of the podcasts I listen to are educational, there are some that I listen to just for how fun they are. But the best ones seem to be the ones that mix fun and educational.

I was listening to a new episode of a newer podcast, Bossed Up, yesterday and the most recent episode really stuck with me. Bossed Up is all about empowering yourself in whatever you do for work. For many people that means branching out on your own and becoming your own boss. But you can still be a boss at work even if you aren’t a boss by title. And a lot of this most recent episode was about feeling unqualified in a position you may hold at work. But what really connected to me was a brief part of that interview that discussed doing what you love for work.

They were talking about how sometimes you have to take chances and go for a dream job and other times you need to take a day job while you figure out what your dream job is and how you can accomplish it. You may need time to figure out how to turn your passion into a paycheck and there is nothing wrong with that. While some people are ashamed about having a day job while they are pursuing their dreams, pretty much everyone has to have a day job at some point. It’s extremely rare to not need to have a way to make money between jobs at least for a little bit of time.

I’ve never been ashamed to have day jobs. I’ve talked about them on here before and I’m always happy to talk to other people about what I do for work to support myself while I’m pursuing acting. But at the same time, I do feel like I’ve been settling in my day jobs a bit. I’ve gotten into a relatively comfortable space where I know what I need to do each day and I’m good at doing them. But things aren’t in my control like how one of my day jobs had to cut back my hours significantly. And when that happens, I’m in a bit of a tailspin trying to get out of the situation and making sure that my budget isn’t totally screwed up or that I am struggling.

This podcast episode reinvigorated me and made me really think about what I want to do as day jobs while I pursue acting. I have no intention of leaving any of my day jobs soon. Even if I found another job to do, I’d try to find a way to keep my current jobs so I could have more money to put toward paying down my credit card debt. But I would love to transition my day jobs at some point in the future.

It would be nice to have a day job that I enjoy doing instead of just tolerating at times. While it’s nice to have a ton of downtime and I can goof off while I’m getting paid when there are no customers to help, it would feel amazing to feel productive and know that I’m working. But at the same time, I need a day job that is flexible and would allow me to continue auditioning and doing other actor related things. That is not an easy combination to find which is why I am so grateful in my current situation.

But maybe it’s time to think about what I could do on my own to support myself. I do have skills that I’m not using to their full potential that I know others would probably pay me to do. I need to be a bit more aggressive about those things and seeing who would hire me. And I probably do need to strengthen those skills a bit more as well so I could be at the top of my game. But with those skills, I’m still a bit unsure on how to combine them or how to market myself to try to find work doing that.

While creating my own day job right now probably isn’t going to happen, that doesn’t mean I should just sit back and keep doing what I’m doing. I should work on building those skills and seeing what jobs are out there that are similar to what I could do. I might need to start networking myself with those skills (instead of just marketing myself as an actor). And maybe there is something I haven’t thought about or considered that I will discover and it will take me down a path I never imagined.

I really have no clue what my future holds, but I do know that I want to be more proactive and try to make some more changes to my life and my work situation. And I’m so grateful that I was listening to a podcast episode that inspired me to get my butt in gear about this.

A MOVE Mixer (or Learning More About What I Can Be Involved In This Year)

I’ve said it over and over again on here, but I really just want to make sure I’m as involved in my union as possible. I am taking advantage of different opportunities that have come my way and I’m so glad that I am not feeling as nervous about being involved as I was before. And I’ve been adjusting my schedule so I have more free time to be involved in different events and that’s been making me really happy too!

Last week I went to the MOVE LA mixer event. MOVE stands for Members Organizing Volunteer Efforts, but besides organizing volunteer events they have some really great panels and social events. They are the group that organizes the NextGen Performers committee too. This mixer was a great chance to hang out with friends, get some information about past events, and learn about the events that are coming up over the next few months.

When I got there, the first hour was the social time. They had food there (I wasn’t feeling so great so I wasn’t eating anything) and I got to see who else was there. Several of the MOVE committee members are friends of mine and it was great to have some time to see them. Even though I saw several of them a few days prior at the Union Working event, we always seem to have only a few minutes to catch up at various meetings so we take what we can get.

After the social hour, it was time to sit down to have the educational part of the evening. First, the background of MOVE LA was shared with everyone and what historically the group has done. Past volunteer events were shared and it was also discussed about how the group supports other unions in their strike efforts (like the grocery workers have gone on strike). Also, the big volunteer event of helping the post office with the Stamp Out Hunger Food Drive was shared because that event is coming up soon.

Next different committee members came up to talk about events and panels that either just happened or will be happening soon. There have been panels on diversity, sexual harassment and prevention, voice over, producing your own work, and other topics that are important to actors and the acting community. And coming up there will be panels on diversity in abilities, supporting broadcasters, editing demo reels, and other things like that. I probably should have taken better notes so I could share the upcoming things with you all, but I was just listening and taking it all in.

The best way to get information on the different MOVE LA events is to follow them on social media and to sign up for their email list on the website.

Many things they do are just for union members, but there are some opportunities that are open to everyone. But I’d only recommend getting on their email list if you are a union actor (you also might have to be signed into the website to access the link to sign up for the email list).

But even if you aren’t a union actor yet, it’s so good for people preparing to join the union in the future to know what opportunities and groups there are for them when they do join. I didn’t know about MOVE or other groups when I joined the union and I really wish I had. There was so much time wasted not taking advantage of these opportunities but I think I’m making up for lost time now. Again, I’ve said this several times but being educated about the union and union opportunities is something I am striving for myself and trying to get others to do as well.

The education part of the mixer was a little over an hour and then it was time to be social again! I loved that this mixer really was a social mixer along with an educational evening. It’s the perfect blend of having fun and learning and I got to meet several new people to MOVE who are interested in similar opportunities as I am. I’m not always a fan of networking, but at events like this one it didn’t feel as networky and was more like just getting to know like-minded people who I will probably see at future events.

I couldn’t stay too late after the education part of the mixer, but I did make a round saying goodbye to everyone I had met that night before heading back to my car. And I know that I will be at another MOVE event before I know it!

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Monthly Challenge Check-In (or Doing My Own Version Of An OTF Challenge This Month)

It’s time for me to end one monthly challenge and start another one! I’ll admit that last month’s challenge didn’t go the way I expected it to go at all, but I’m really excited about this month’s challenge.

Last month, I challenged myself to work on daily stretching. I knew I need to work on doing more stretching because my flexibility was getting worse lately. Also, I’m stuck sitting at a computer for so many hours a day and I need to make sure that doing that doesn’t start to affect my body. And there are so many different resources out there to help get more stretching into your life. So I figured this would be the perfect challenge for me.

Well, it really wasn’t. At least not in the way I really hoped it would. I had looked at several different guided stretching apps and picked out the one that seemed best for me and had the stretches I would want to work on. And I did that for the first few days of the month and it just wasn’t working for me. Some of the stretches were hurting me more than I thought and the flow of it just seemed off. There was nothing wrong with the app, it just wasn’t for me.

I tried looking at a few other apps and other guides online, but I never found anything else during the month that seemed to be what I needed or wanted. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t work on stretching all month. I did work on it, but I never found a good practice for me that I could keep going. I haven’t given up yet, but it’s something that I haven’t been able to successfully build into a habit that I have been able to do with so many other monthly challenges.

After having a not-so-great challenge last month, I wanted to do something that I was excited about this month. At Orangetheory, they are doing a marathon challenge for the month of April. The basic idea is to track your mileage during all your classes in the month and there are different distances you can try to get based on if you are a power walker, jogger, runner, biker, or strider.

I thought about doing this challenge officially through Orangetheory but realized that it probably wouldn’t be right for me. It should have been fine going to different studios since we are responsible for tracking our own mileage. But since I know that when I’m nauseous I don’t want to be walking on the treadmill I would be split between the power walker and bike marathon challenges and might not be able to accomplish either on its own. Also, I’m thinking about trying to do some minimal running again if my body feels up for it so I didn’t know how that would affect doing the power walker (13.1 miles) challenge.

So I’ve decided for my monthly challenge this month I will be doing my own marathon challenge and tracking. One of my blogger friends, David, does this every month on his blog so I’m kind of taking the idea from him too. I have no clue if I will get to 13.1 miles power walking and I’m pretty certain that I won’t be at 105 miles on the bike unless I only do the bike the entire month (which I am not planning on doing). But it will be interesting to see how many miles I do accomplish between the treadmill and bike this month.

I’ve set up my Ink+Volt monthly calendar for this month with tracking stickers. I put stickers for each day that I’m planning on working out so I can fill in what distance I get in class.

I’m going to be taking photos of the treadmill and bike during each class so I have it to fill in later. The only time I’m a little concerned is if we have a run/row day since I will need to remember to take a photo every time I switch over to the rower. But I think that should be easy enough to do and the worst case would be needing to ask the coach after class if I could look at the workout plan so I could see what distances I was supposed to do during the run/row to figure out how many rounds I did. But that’s not that bad of a worse case scenario.

I think this is going to be a fun challenge for me. I really don’t know how many miles I’ll get. I have an idea of what I can do based on past workouts and how many workouts I have this month, but I don’t know how many days will get up being bike days. And there are always other factors that come in to make my distances on the treadmill longer or shorter. No matter what, it will be interesting to see what the totals are at the end of the month.

While it would have been fun to do this officially at the studios I go to, I think doing it on my own is a good substitute considering my circumstances. And maybe this will help me stay more motivated when I’m on the bike because I will want to be getting as much distance as possible to make sure my total at the end of the month is impressive!