Back in July, I wrote a post about how I was a guest on a new podcast. I was invited to be on Brianne Davis-Gantt’s Secret Life Podcast. It was a podcast that hadn’t come out yet, but I heard about it through Brianne’s husband. He had posted about the new podcast and invited anyone who has a secret in their life to submit their story. Even though my eating disorder isn’t really a secret anymore, it was a big secret in my life for a long time. And I know that it is a secret for so many people.
I had the best time recording this podcast episode over the summer. Brianne was wonderful and she made me feel so at ease. This was the first time we had met, but she was so open and friendly and it felt like I was just sharing my story with a friend. I didn’t feel judged at all, which is so important when sharing a secret. And I felt like we had an amazing conversation.
We did discuss this blog a bit (which is why I might have some new readers) and how I originally wasn’t going to write about my eating disorder on here. Before starting this blog, I had another one that was going to be anonymous where I thought I could be open and honest about what was happening. But by hiding who I was, I wasn’t being open. And that was a big reason why my first blog failed. And with this blog, I wasn’t going to share that part of my life because I was terrified about how people would react. But sharing my story on here was the best decision I made for myself and it has only benefitted me. I have received a little negativity after sharing my story, but it has been so out there that it hasn’t bothered me (like someone blaming my eating disorder on not praying every day). Sharing has been such a good thing and I’m so grateful that I had another chance to do it.
I will admit, I was a little nervous between recording the episode and it when it was released. Mainly, I was nervous that I sounded dumb or said something I didn’t mean the way it sounded. I’m aware that I can sound dingy at times, and my vocal inflections don’t help that. But I hoped that I sounded the way I wanted to. And even though I felt pretty certain that the reaction to the episode would be positive, you never know. But it’s only been out for a day, and it’s already getting good feedback! And I am so happy about that!
And I would love for you all to listen to it as well! I hope that you find that it’s a slightly different take from how I share about my eating disorder here. And I highly recommend subscribing to the Secret Life Podcast and listening to the other episodes. I have been subscribed since the beginning and every episode has been incredible. I almost don’t feel worthy to have my story on there because I don’t know if it’s as good as the others. But I am trying to shut that little voice down and remind myself that my story is important too.
And if you are new here, as I mentioned in the episode, I have some resource links available if you are looking for help. It’s hard to start getting help, but as long as you are ready to receive the help you get it can be amazing. I know for me, I had the information way before I was ready. Before I was ready, I couldn’t really take it in and I wasn’t able to implement the things I needed to. But once I was ready to start my journey toward recovery, I’m so glad I had a lot of information I could use and it has been a great tool for me.
Thank you again to Brianne and Mark for letting me be a part of the podcast! I really am so grateful that you gave me this chance. And by putting myself out there in a different way and being honest to more people, I think this might help me just as much (or more) than it helps people who listen to it. I know that keeping a secret can only make things worse. So being more and more honest hopefully will only make things better.
You Might Also Like
Continuing To Find Ways To Be Creative (or Podcasts and Online Shows)
Having To Defend Myself (or My Eating Disorder Isn’t Taken Seriously By Others)
Being As Honest As Possible (or Making People Feel Awkward)
Binge Eating In The Media (or More Help Might Be On The Way)
Finding Some More Control (or How Medical Stuff and Dating Stuff Are Alike)
Feeling Normal Again (or Happy To Be Back In Control)
