4 years ago, I wrote a post about how I had forced a friend to check into the ER for their own safety. That was a very tough thing to do back then, but I don’t regret doing it. I worried after making them go to the ER that they would stop being friends with me. I know a lot of the mean things they said to me on the phone that night were due to their mental state and they weren’t things they really meant. But I still remember how stressful that night was and how upset I was at the moment. I’m glad that everything turned out ok and my friend has since thanked me for doing what I did. And because it had a positive result and from knowing what my friend said to me after, I did the same thing for a friend this past week.
I was talking to a friend on the phone and I could tell that they had been drinking. They had previously talked about trying to get help because they were realizing they might have a drinking problem, so I was a bit harsh with them on the phone. I might have been too harsh, but I was upset because they said they were going to try to get help and they did the exact opposite thing. But then, they got upset with me and admitted that they were drinking because it was a better destructive behavior than harming themselves.
As soon as they said that, everything around me blurred and I became hyperfocused on the phone call. I knew they wouldn’t say something like that to me without really meaning it. And I couldn’t just ignore what they said. So I was very straightforward and said they needed to get to the hospital now to stay safe. I didn’t give them any options or even an ultimatum. I just said that now they had to go to the ER and that was that. They seemed to hesitate for a second, but I think they recognized that they were not going to be safe at home and they needed to be monitored so they got into their car to head to the hospital. I did realize much later that evening that I should have told them to get into a ride-share and not to drive themselves, but fortunately, nothing happened when they drove. I was on the phone with them the entire time and stayed on the phone until I heard them check in with the nurse.
While I was staying on the phone while we were driving, I could tell something in their attitude had changed. They seemed a lot calmer, but that didn’t change my mind that they needed to be watched. But they were acting a lot more reasonably and not as rash as they did before. So I had some hope that maybe this wouldn’t be as severe of a situation as things were several years ago.
And that feeling was right. They were monitored and checked by doctors, but after a few hours, it was deemed they were able to go home and be safe. And I agree with the assessment. Even as they were getting to the hospital, I started to wonder if I was overreacting and maybe I was thinking of what happened in the past and misjudged this situation. But I also knew that I would rather be overly cautious and ask someone to go to the hospital to be looked at than to find out that they did something irreversible because they were alone and not safe.
I think because of what happened in the past, any time I have that gut feeling that someone isn’t safe being home, I’ll probably react this way. Maybe other people wouldn’t immediately think that their friend needs to go to the hospital, but I know I made the right choice in telling them that. I’m glad that everything ended up ok and my friend is alright, but it was a pretty scary and upsetting night. And I’m glad that again I could be there for a friend who needed help and that they were open to hearing what I said and took the steps to get help for themselves.
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Another Random Friend Hangout (or So Happy For In-Person Time)
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