This week, California officially reopened after being shut down for over a year. This has been a process happening over the past few months, but it drastically changed this week. Now, there are no occupancy restrictions anymore and it is not required for everywhere to require masks. There are a few places that still require masks like on public transportation and at medical centers, plus businesses can decide they are going to require them, but for the most part, masks aren’t needed anymore.
This is what we were all waiting for. This is what I’ve been wanting for so long. But now that it’s here, it makes me so incredibly nervous. I know when things shut down at first, I couldn’t wait for them to be normal again. But the longer the shutdown happened, the less I felt like I was ready to be back. I don’t want to wear a mask forever, but I have gotten used to it. And the few times I’ve been maskless recently (like when I have been out to dinner) have felt like I’ve been doing something illegal even though it was allowed.
I know that I am pretty safe. I am fully vaccinated. Even though medically I am higher risk, being vaccinated helps a lot and I don’t spend time around a lot of people who aren’t vaccinated. I don’t spend a lot of time around anyone even if they are vaccinated. I do take some risks that others don’t, like going to Orangetheory, but in general, I do not take many risks and still spend a lot of my time isolated.
With things reopening, I am a bit nervous to go out and about and do things like errands. I know I can still wear my own mask and will probably do that for a little longer. I want to see how things look in a few weeks after we’ve had some time without masks before I feel more comfortable being maskless all the time. I don’t know if my grocery store requires them right now or not, but I would hope that people in my neighborhood are either vaccinated or wear masks if they are not. I know that unvaccinated people might not wear masks since people aren’t confirming anyone has been vaccinated, but I hope that it’s a very small minority of the people that I would encounter.
Despite being nervous and scared about how things will go from now on, I’m also so excited to keep getting parts of my life back. I want to go to stores to shop instead of ordering online. I want to go out to see movies. I want to enjoy more meals out. I want to feel like I can be safe doing things that I used to do all the time without thinking twice about them. I just don’t feel ready quite yet to jump into all of that yet.
I know that for a while, my nerves were stronger than my want to go out and enjoy my life again. Now, I would say things are 50/50. And I bet soon, wanting to go out again will be more than my nerves and I will feel much better about joining the real world again. I will still probably be cautious for a while since I know things aren’t over and I don’t want to take a risk I will regret. But every time things move a bit more toward normal, I do have hope that it will continue that way and soon this will all be in the past.
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