Tag Archives: MRI

I Guess This Is The End Of This Journey (or 5 Years Later)

Posted on November 4, 2021 | Comments Off on I Guess This Is The End Of This Journey (or 5 Years Later)

A little over 5 years ago, I had what I believed was the worst gallbladder attack of my life. I was sure that’s what I had since it had a lot of the same symptoms as the other attacks I’ve had. But this one was lasting hours and not going away when in the past it would maybe only last an hour or two. I was up all night in pain and went to the hospital that morning sure that they were going to wheel me into the OR to have my gallbladder removed. But it turned out it wasn’t a gallbladder attack (it’s still not really known what happened to me), but that day at the hospital we discovered what was believed to be a cyst on my liver.

After more medical testing, we learned that I had 3 tumors and my journey from needing surgery to being a medical miracle started. Honestly, nothing has been what I expected and I’ve tried to roll with the punches as much as I could. But it’s been tough. A friend of mine described the feeling I dealt with perfectly, body betrayal. I felt betrayed when I found out I had tumors because I had no clue that something so crazy was happening in my body. And I felt betrayed when they shrank because again I had no clue this was happening. Of course, I was grateful they shrank and I could avoid surgery, but the disconnect I had with my body was a struggle.

And for the past few years, I’ve had MRIs to check my liver and make sure that my tumors weren’t growing. I’m very lucky that they actually continued to shrink. And at my last MRI, you could only see 1 of the 3 original tumors. And that tumor was 10% of its original size. I was supposed to have an MRI last year and if my tumors were still the same that would be the last one. Because of the pandemic, I didn’t go last year (which was ok with my liver surgeon). And this year, when I was at my annual well-woman appointment, I mentioned to my doctor that this year I’d do one more MRI and maybe that would be the last. Fortunately, she was able to order the MRI for me so that was a lot easier to schedule. And this past weekend, I had my MRI.

I didn’t realize this at the time, but this MRI was 5 years to the day from the original MRI (when we discovered that it wasn’t a cyst but a tumor). I’ve had enough MRIs at this point to know the routine. I also know that usually there is a bit of a wait, so I come prepared with a book and other things to keep me busy. But I don’t know if it’s because this was on a weekend or if things are still slower than normal, but for this MRI I didn’t even go to the waiting room! As soon as I was done checking in, I was brought back to the MRI room. Just like every other MRI, it wasn’t that fun. I also had double claustrophobia because of the MRI tube and wearing a mask. I managed to not have a horrible panic attack, but I had a couple of little ones during the scan. I just tried to take deep breaths (when I didn’t have to hold my breath) and I tilted my head back to be able to look into the room behind me.

From the time I checked in until I was heading out was only about an hour. This was by far the fastest MRI I had. I didn’t even get a fun pre-MRI photo like I normally do. But I took one after it was done so I could add it to my collection of photos.

I normally have a follow-up with my liver surgeon after my MRI to go over the results. I might have the follow-up over the phone this time, but I also might not have the usual follow-up since a different doctor ordered the test. But I did already get my results back.

I know it’s a lot of doctor-speak, but basically this says that there is only 1 tumor visible in my life and it’s 1cm. This is exactly what it looked like 2 years ago and what I know my liver surgeon was hoping for. He told me it would be very unlikely for the last tumor to be completely gone since it was so large to begin with. But staying the same for 2 years is really the best outcome. I also had a few other things in my results (I still have gallstones and there is a small benign cyst on my kidney), but for the most part, everything else is either completely normal or exactly what it’s been like for a while.

This is a bit anti-climatic, but I guess this is probably the end of my journey with my liver tumor. If I have a follow-up call with my surgeon, I guess he will probably confirm that. But he did say the last time I saw him that as long as my tumors aren’t bigger than they were before, I won’t need another MRI. Of course, there are a few things that can happen in the future that could change this (if I use anything with synthetic hormones, I probably will need to be monitored again). But unless that comes up or if I have any odd symptoms, I will probably just live the rest of my life with this small tumor left in my liver hanging out.

The last 5 years have been crazy with my liver tumors. I’m just glad that it seems like this is finally a part of my past and I don’t have to be too worried about them anymore.

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Default Thumbnail3 Years Knowing About The Tumors (or I Forgot An Anniversary) Default ThumbnailA Gallbladder Reminder (or Hopefully This Is A Random Event) Default ThumbnailAnother Story About A Tumor (or I Guess I Was Misdiagnosed For Over 15 Years) Default Thumbnail3 Years Of Being A Medical Miracle (or Just Enjoying Being Healthy) Default ThumbnailBack To Focusing On Health (or Back To Back Doctor Appointments) Default ThumbnailA Non-Surgery Anniversary (or Another Year Of Being A Medical Miracle)

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My Easiest Follow-Up So Far (or I Might Only Have One More Of These)

Posted on December 5, 2019 | Comments Off on My Easiest Follow-Up So Far (or I Might Only Have One More Of These)

I’ve already posted an update about my liver tumor because my doctor emailed me my MRI results. I was grateful that he emailed me because there was a bit of a delay between my MRI and my follow-up appointment. Usually, those appointments are within a week of each other, but there were some delays in getting my appointment scheduled. So having that email so I didn’t have to worry or stress for all that time was nice. But I still had my regular appointment and I knew I’d get a bit more information then.

This appointment was so easy and simple. My doctor was happy as always that the tumors are shrinking and that only one can be seen now. He has another patient with the same tumors that I do and her tumors weren’t able to shrink at all, so she had the major surgery that I was supposed to have. I know that my doctor and I said that maybe delaying the surgery as I did would allow the tumors to shrink, but it seems like I’m still an oddity with this. I’ve heard from people on social media who have these tumors as well and none of them have been able to have theirs shrink. So I continue to be grateful for the medical miracle in my liver. And I know that it still baffles my doctor that it happened and he can’t really give me an explanation of why or what I did that others didn’t.

My remaining tumor is now in a place where surgery isn’t even an option anymore. Before, we discussed that he could remove the remaining tumor if I had my gallbladder out. But now, my tumor is in the middle of my liver (instead of on the side), so it can’t really come out no matter what. This is actually a good thing because having it inside my liver makes the risk of rupture lower. But I do still have to be aware if I have sudden and severe abdominal pain because that can be a sign of rupture and that’s always going to be a risk for me.

My doctor and I discussed things that may happen in my future that can affect the tumors. Pregnancy is no longer a huge risk (but I will always be high-risk if I’m pregnant) and I probably wouldn’t need a baseline MRI if I got pregnant. Fertility medications are still risky, but my doctor thinks now that they might be an option for me depending on what medications and how long I’d be on them. I hope I won’t need to go through fertility treatments, but I’m glad it’s more of an option now than it was before. And hormone replacement therapy is still one that my doctor isn’t sure about. Because they are replacing hormones (instead of adding them), they shouldn’t be risky. But you take them long-term which is risky. He said that for now, I shouldn’t worry about it and when it gets closer to that time in my life we can reevaluate and maybe there will be more research.

My doctor and I also discussed how he already ordered a repeat MRI in a year. I was a bit confused to see that because I thought after this MRI we were going to wait 2 years. But he said that at the rate my tumors have been shrinking, in one year there may be no tumors visible. 2 out of 3 are already there, it’s just this last one that can be seen. So if there are no visible tumors in a year when I have my next MRI, that will be my last one. Even if the last tumor is still visible, as long as it doesn’t get larger it’s small enough that I don’t need to be monitored. So assuming that everything continues going the way it’s been going, my MRI next year will be the last regular one. I may get them in the future if I am pregnant, use fertility medications, or hormone replacement therapy; but I won’t need another scan unless one of those things happens.

I’m equally excited and nervous that the MRI in a year will be the last one that is scheduled. I’m excited that I don’t have to do these appointments and that it will mean that I have essentially graduated from being monitored. But I’m nervous because I still have that disconnection with my body and I’m worried I will be scared that the tumors are growing and I don’t know it. But I already have those fears even with the annual MRIs so I don’t know if it would be that bad. I know that if I’m ever really worried I could get another scan, but I’d like to be in a place where I don’t think about it. And I’m not going to worry about not having regular scans until I’m told that I won’t be getting them anymore.

The last part of my appointment was getting to see what my MRI scans looked like. This time, it wasn’t as easy as it was before to see the tumor because it’s gotten so small. But it’s still there when you know what to look for and where to look. But compared to all my other MRIs, it’s tiny and I’m still shocked how much has changed between each scan.

And when you compare the tumor from 2016 to now without seeing the progression, it’s even crazier how much it has shrunk and the difference between then and now.

After looking at the scans with my doctor, the appointment was done. My doctor said to just keep doing what I’ve been doing because clearly it is working. But there’s still no medical explanation on why they shrink when other people doing the same things that I do don’t have those results. I’m definitely lucky and I’m grateful that for some reason I’m a rare case like this. And maybe in one more year, I’ll have nothing showing up in my scans and then I can consider the miracle to be complete!

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Default ThumbnailA Boring Tumor Check In (or Still A Miracle) Default ThumbnailBack To Focusing On Health (or Back To Back Doctor Appointments) Default ThumbnailTumor Updates (or I’ve Got A Plan For My Liver) Default ThumbnailTumor Update Time! (or Guess I Won’t Have Another Of These For A While) Default ThumbnailI’ve Got Some Follow Through (or I Said I’d Do It So I Did) Default ThumbnailTime For Some Refocusing (or I Need To Do Some Follow Through)

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A Quick MRI Turnaround (or At Least I Have Some Answers)

Posted on November 13, 2019 | Comments Off on A Quick MRI Turnaround (or At Least I Have Some Answers)

I know I just wrote about getting my MRI yesterday, but the actual scan was last week on Thursday. Typically, I have my scan and then within a week, I have my followup appointment with my liver surgeon. Occasionally, I will get my MRI results sent to me a bit sooner by one of my doctors, but I don’t expect to have answers until I have my appointment.

This time, when I was scheduling my MRI, I was told my liver surgeon was on vacation for 2 weeks after my scan. So the soonest I could get my followup appointment would be the week of Thanksgiving. While I didn’t love having a big gap between the scan and the followup, I didn’t really have an option unless I wanted to do the MRI later. So I booked those appointment times and tried not to think about it too much. Even though my scans always show the tumors smaller, I do worry a bit that for some reason they will be growing again. But I know that the chances of that happening are really tiny, especially with my history.

So after my scan was done last week, I tried to not think about the results at all. I knew that it wasn’t going to be anything horrible even if I was told that they were growing again. The worst case would be that they were growing and that I would have the surgery that I had planned for originally. And I’ve already put so much thought into that surgery so I wasn’t as scared about it as I was before.

I got a notification on Monday evening that I had a message from a doctor to read. I thought maybe it was one of my other doctors seeing the MRI report and just forwarding it to me. I wasn’t expecting my liver surgeon to be sending a message since I knew he was out of the office. But that’s exactly who emailed me with a really amazing message.

I will still be going in for my appointment in about a week and a half, but it’s so good to have some information now. I can think about other things and not have moments of wondering what is going on. And honestly, these results are so much better than what I expected them to be!

I knew that 1 of the 3 tumors was already so small that they basically couldn’t be found, but it was nice to have confirmation that it still is not seen anymore. I had it in my head that maybe the last time they missed it for one reason or another. At my last scan, I knew that the medium tumor had shrunk a tiny bit, but it was still visible. Now it has disappeared like the small one did before.

But to me, the best news was about the biggest tumor. That was the one that made things so dangerous for me when it was discovered. The placement and size of it both were risky. And that has been shrinking quite a bit. The biggest change was the scan I had right before I was supposed to have surgery when it went from 10cm to 4cm. And it’s slowly been getting smaller since then. Each year it has pretty much gone down another 1cm. The milestone I knew it needed to be under was 3cm, and 1 year after we discovered the tumors it had gotten there. And it just keeps going down.

Now, my biggest tumor (which I always say was the size of a newborn’s head even if that’s overestimating it a bit), is not smaller than the smallest one was when we discovered it. It’s no longer dangerous for me to have this tumor in my body (even though that has technically been the case for a little while now). The tumor is 90% smaller than it was just 3 years ago! That’s a huge reduction.

There are still a few things I’m going to go over with my surgeon when I see him, plus I want to see pictures of the tumor now. But from his message to me, I know I have nothing to worry about. I do have some questions about what things might trigger the tumors to grow again and what monitoring I will need to do under those circumstances, but none of those things should be happening soon for me. So it’s more that I just want an idea of what I’ll need to do in the future.

I think I’ll officially believe this news when I see the images since it’s hard for me to believe that it’s really going this well for me. But I’m so grateful that my luck with my health has gotten better and that I’m able to relax about things a bit more now.

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Default ThumbnailA Boring Tumor Check In (or Still A Miracle) Default ThumbnailMRI Again (or Hoping For Some Answers) Default ThumbnailAnother Liver MRI (or Not As Routine As Always) Default ThumbnailMRI Time (or I Think Being Calm Is Helping) Default ThumbnailTime For Another MRI (or Still Trying To Stay Calm) Default ThumbnailGetting Ready To See My Liver Surgeon Again (or My Annual MRI)

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Another Liver MRI (or Not As Routine As Always)

Posted on November 12, 2019 | Comments Off on Another Liver MRI (or Not As Routine As Always)

As I mentioned last week, I did my blood work to prep for my liver MRI. Even though I’ve only been doing liver MRIs for about 3 years, I’ve done enough of them that I’m used to the process and it doesn’t necessarily scare me anymore. There are elements of it that I don’t look forward to and am a bit fearful of, but I know that I can get through it and that I’ll be fine. I’ve learned different things I can do to help when I’m having a tough moment during the MRI and I’ve managed to be ok every time.

I know the hospital tries to keep things on schedule, but I’m aware that emergencies and other issues can come up that will push back the time of my scan. I schedule my MRIs when I have nothing else I have to get to that day so if I’m stuck there for a while it will be ok. So when I went for my scan this time, I was prepared to sit for a while and had my Kindle fully charged and loaded up with a new library book.

But there was someone in the waiting room who didn’t seem to know the common rules for waiting room etiquette. They started playing their music through their phone speakers and not using headphones. This was already starting to irritate me and I was trying to not let it affect me. I didn’t want to ask them to turn off the music because I didn’t know if anyone else in the waiting room was bothered by it. And then things got a bit more irritating when they started to sing along with their music. I was getting really close to the limit of my patience when I was called back for my MRI. I was so glad to get out of there and almost looked forward to the MRI to escape the noise in the waiting room.

When I got into the MRI room, I got changed into a gown since you can’t wear your clothes in there. They used to allow you to wear your clothes if they didn’t have metal, but the rules changed. Maybe someone claimed they weren’t wearing any metal but they had a button or something. But I don’t mind changing into the gowns. It’s not a big deal plus it gives me a chance for a good photo.

When I got onto the MRI table, the nurses got everything ready for my IV. I gave them the same warnings I give to everyone and I’m glad that it didn’t go too bad. I had a little bit of a blackout when the IV went in, but I was back to my normal self almost instantaneously. They taped down the IV tubes to get ready to have the long tubing attached and I was joking with the nurses about how I can feel when they flush it with saline and how it tastes like permanent markers smell. I think they thought that was pretty funny.

The way I am positioned for the MRIs requires me to have my arms above my head. In the hand that is on the arm with the IV, I have the tubing for the IV around my fingers since they have to go toward the other side of the room. And in my hand on the other side, I have the panic button in case something happens when I’m inside. I’ve never used the panic button, but I appreciate it. Everything was set the way it needed to be and they moved the table into the machine to get the scans started.

But as soon as I got into the machine, I noticed two things. First, my nose started itching like crazy and I couldn’t do anything about it. I really wanted to scratch, but there was no way to bring my hands to my face. So I just had to suck it up and try to ignore it. And the other thing I noticed was the IV in my arm was hurting me. It’s a hard type of pain to explain, but in my head, it felt like the needle was moving and wasn’t in the right spot. I know it didn’t move, but it was pinching and irritating my arm. I didn’t want to press the panic button for either issue because I knew I could tolerate it and I didn’t want to delay the MRI.

The first part of the scan is without the contrast dye. You listen to the prompts from the MRI machine and it tells you when to hold your breath or when you can breathe normally. When you have to hold your breath, it’s usually between 15-25 seconds. And I have to say that 25 seconds feels like forever and I’m always trying to find a way to make the time go by faster. I usually try to count the seconds in my head or count each of the noises the machine makes. I can’t always make it for 25 seconds, but I’ve gotten better each time I have to do it.

Before they remotely injected the contrast dye, there was a moment that I almost had a panic attack. Maybe I don’t remember the past MRIs properly, but I don’t remember the other scans having a long break randomly in the middle. So when things stopped this time, I thought at first that maybe it was when they were injecting the dye. But I didn’t feel the dye going into my arm and the techs hadn’t warned me that it was coming. Because of how I’m positioned in the machine, I can tilt my head far enough back that I can see the ceiling of the room behind me. I don’t know why that calms me down, but it does. I had a moment of panic that maybe there was some sort of emergency and I was stuck in the machine alone, but I tried not to think about that. And finally, the machine started making noise again so I knew everything was fine.

After the dye was injected, they pulled me out of the machine so they could remove the IV since I don’t need it for the last few scans. And when they did that, I was finally able to scratch my nose. It has never felt better to be able to scratch an itch. And I knew at that point that I only had a few more scans left and I was almost done. When those scans were done, I was pulled out of the machine so I could get dressed and head home.

When I was leaving, the techs that were in the control room area complimented me on being able to hold my breath as long as I did and for being really still. I guess all the images came out really clear, but I don’t think any of my past ones were really bad. I just know of one image once that had to be redone because I shifted in the middle of it. But normally I think they are fine.

And when I was walking past the waiting room (because you have to pass it to leave), that one person in the waiting room still had their music going and they were singing along! I feel so bad for anyone in the waiting room that wasn’t ok with the noise, but I also feel so grateful that I didn’t have to deal with it for too long.

I won’t see my liver surgeon for about 2 weeks, so I won’t have an official update until then. But I have no reason to think that my tumors aren’t continuing to shrink and that I’ll get a good report and update.

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Default ThumbnailMRI Again (or Hoping For Some Answers) Default ThumbnailMRI Prep Work (or Vampire Victim and Nerves) Default ThumbnailGetting Ready To See My Liver Surgeon Again (or My Annual MRI) Default ThumbnailMRI Time (or I Think Being Calm Is Helping) Default ThumbnailTime For Another MRI (or Still Trying To Stay Calm) Default ThumbnailMeeting A Surgeon (or Working On My Liver)

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MRI Prep Work (or Vampire Victim and Nerves)

Posted on November 5, 2019 | Comments Off on MRI Prep Work (or Vampire Victim and Nerves)

I’ve got my liver MRI coming up this week. I haven’t had an MRI in a year, and I’m glad that I decided to do one this year. My liver surgeon gave me the option of waiting 2 years instead of 1 after my last appointment, but I think that would have been too long to wait. I’m still wondering what is going on with my tumors and I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if I still had to wait another year before I found out.

I’m trying to not be nervous about the MRI, but I can’t help it. I still am scared that for some reason my tumors will be bigger. I know that it’s a really tiny chance that could happen, but I know that I’m also the person who gets the 1 in a million situations. I’m nervous about the MRI itself. I know I’ve done so many of these by now, but they still aren’t routine for me yet. I have been very lucky that my claustrophobic hasn’t been an issue while in the MRI machine. I think it helps that I can tilt my head back and see the room behind me. If I was in head first, I think that would be much worse. I’m nervous about getting the IV as well. I hate needles and that is always something I struggle with.

But I did get one of the needles out of the way last week. Before getting an MRI where they use contrast, you have to get bloodwork done. Because of the contrast they use, they have to make sure that your kidneys can filter it out of your body. I’ve never had kidney issues (although I have been told that I have a small cyst on one kidney, that’s never been discussed more with me other than telling me it’s there), so I know that I shouldn’t worry when I get my kidneys checked before my MRI. But I do worry because you never know when things will change. And of course, because it’s bloodwork, I have the needle to worry about.

I decided to do my pre-MRI bloodwork on Halloween this year. I happened to have that afternoon free so the timing was good. Plus, I was able to make the joke that my costume was a vampire victim. I know that the needles don’t leave a huge mark, but I do usually have a bruise when it’s done.

The last time I had bloodwork, there was a huge line and a long wait from when I checked in until I was seen. That time it was also worse because I was nauseous that day. This time, I was feeling good so I wasn’t dealing with nausea. And when I checked in, I barely had enough time to take a photo of my number before I was called to one of the stations.

Since it was only one thing they were checking with the blood, they only had to collect one vial. I warned the nurse like I warn anyone putting a needle in my skin about my issues with them. I let her know I might pass out or get very tense but that it was ok and she didn’t have to call anyone to take me to urgent care or the ER. I think the warning freaked her out a bit, but I know when I don’t warn the nurses that things are worse. Even though the nurse decided not to warn me about when she was going to stick me, I did ok. I did have the blacking out/tensing up moment that I’m used to, but it wasn’t as bad as it’s been before. And only a few minutes after I got to the hospital, I was already on my way out.

I’ve been trying to not think too much about the MRI this week, but it’s hard not to. For some reason, it seems like I get another thing from the hospital every day to prepare me. I have gotten appointment reminders, text alerts, and paperwork with what to expect during an MRI. I didn’t review that paperwork since I’ve done this before and I know I still have to fill out a form confirming I know all this information when I go in for the MRI. I won’t find out for a while about the tumors due to when I could get an appointment, so I know the time between the scan and my appointment will also be nerve-racking. But soon I’ll be past this and hopefully, everything will either be the same or better and I won’t have to worry about it again for at least another year.

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Default ThumbnailBack To Focusing On Health (or Back To Back Doctor Appointments) Default ThumbnailA Boring Tumor Check In (or Still A Miracle) Default ThumbnailAnother Liver MRI (or Not As Routine As Always) Default ThumbnailMRI Time (or I Think Being Calm Is Helping) Default ThumbnailTime For Another MRI (or Still Trying To Stay Calm) Default ThumbnailGetting Ready To See My Liver Surgeon Again (or My Annual MRI)

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Getting Ready To See My Liver Surgeon Again (or My Annual MRI)

Posted on October 18, 2018 | Comments Off on Getting Ready To See My Liver Surgeon Again (or My Annual MRI)

It’s crazy to think that it’s been a year since my last liver MRI. It seems like it wasn’t that long ago, but that might be because I do think about my liver tumors from time to time. I don’t dwell on them, but they are in my mind and I try to make choices that are good for my liver. I know that drinking and eating certain foods can’t hurt or help my tumors, but I have no idea why my liver is able to shrink these tumors on its own. So I try not to do anything that will stress my liver out so it can work the best it can.

At the same time, tomorrow marks 2 years since I learned there was something potentially wrong with my liver. It feels like I’ve been dealing with my liver story for much longer than 2 years! But I guess it’s just because it was such a huge focus of my life for 6 months before my miracle. And for my 2 year anniversary of discovering the tumors, I had another MRI to check in on them.

While I’ve had issues before with needles, things went better than expected when I had my blood drawn to check my kidneys before the MRI. But I was still nervous about the needle for the IV as well as how I would feel being in the MRI machine if I wasn’t feeling my best. The morning of the MRI I was having lower nausea than the days before, but I still took some medication to make sure I wouldn’t get nauseous or have too painful of cramps when the tests were being done. I know that staying still is so important in an MRI and for most of the images I need to hold my breath. So I wanted to be in the least about of pain and nausea possible.

The MRI was running behind (which I expected so I had my book with me), so while I was waiting I tried to stay hydrated so the IV would be easier to get in and just relax. I wasn’t focusing on what was coming up, just on what was happening in that moment so that I could stay calm. They ended up not running as behind as they thought so before I knew it I was in my hospital gown and ready to go.

They did the IV in my arm after I was already settled on the bed of the MRI machine. That was fine with me since I would already be laying down in case I passed out. I had a feeling I wouldn’t faint because it’s been so long since I actually fainted (versus blacking out where I can still hear things around me), but I like to be prepared.

Even with all the issues I’ve had with needles, it’s usually a quick process. I can’t remember the last time I needed multiple attempts at an IV or blood draw. I know that several years ago it too multiple shots to numb me before dental work, but that’s different. And for some reason, it took 3 tries to get my IV in. I tried not to be annoyed by it, but it was painful and by the third try I was feeling a bit off. But it finally worked and they were ready to get me into the machine for the MRI.

I’ve had enough MRIs over the past few years to know what to expect. It’s not the most fun thing to do, but it’s not bad. I know things could be much worse so I feel lucky that my MRIs are usually a quick process. Since we are only doing a check to see the size of the tumor (when I had my first ones it was to diagnose what it was), it’s usually only about 30 minutes inside the machine. I’ve got random things I think about to pass the time and I usually count the weird noises when I have to hold my breath. Some of the scans seem to take forever and I can’t hold my breath that long, but I really try my best to wait until I am instructed to relax.

A majority of my MRI is done with no contrast in my body. The last 2 or 3 scans are done after the contrast is put into my IV. In the past, the technicians have warned me when they were going to start the contrast. It’s not painful, but it’s cold and a very weird feeling. I can feel it in my toes even though it starts in my arm. And you do feel it moving in your body. It’s just an uncomfortable feeling for a few seconds, but nothing I can’t tolerate. I don’t know why they didn’t warn me this time, but they didn’t. So I was a bit surprised when the contrast started but I also was grateful that meant that the MRI was almost done.

When they got me out of the machine, they got my IV out which was again painful. I don’t know why my skin was so sensitive, but it was. I ended up having a bruise in my arm where the IV was, but it faded after a few days and it wasn’t as sore as a normal bruise. I guess it’s just my battle scar from the MRI. I think I was trying so hard to not feel nauseous in the machine that it did come at me when I was getting dressed and ready to leave, but I knew I’d be home soon enough and could do more things to feel better.

I see my liver surgeon next week, but I’m not expecting it to be that exciting of an appointment. As long as my tumors aren’t growing, we aren’t going to do anything. I still may get them out one day even if they don’t grow, but that would be in combination with me getting my gallbladder out in the future. But since I haven’t had a gallbladder attack in a few years, I have no idea if I even need to do that anymore!

Even though last year I got great news and was told I didn’t need to worry about anything for a year, it still felt so connected to the stress of learning about the tumors and planning for surgery. Now that I’ve had another year removed from it, I finally feel like I might be back to normal again. I know that I will likely need to be checked from time to time, but it now feels like a check and not preparation for something big.

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Default ThumbnailMRI Prep Work (or Vampire Victim and Nerves) Default ThumbnailMedical Miracle Anniversary (or A Year Of My Liver Being A Badass) Default ThumbnailAnother Liver MRI (or Not As Routine As Always) Default ThumbnailMeeting A Surgeon (or Working On My Liver) Default ThumbnailMRI Time (or I Think Being Calm Is Helping) Default ThumbnailTime For Another MRI (or Still Trying To Stay Calm)

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Time For Another MRI (or Still Trying To Stay Calm)

Posted on October 12, 2017 | 3 comments

After a busy weekend at the SAG-AFTRA Convention, I was ready to relax. But that wasn’t exactly what was in the plans for me. I had my liver MRI the next day and that’s not exactly the most relaxing thing for me to do. But at least it’s something I’m getting used to. I’ve had several liver MRIs by now and I know what it’s like. And even though it has been 6 months since my last one, I knew what I was in for.

This MRI was to check the tumor sizes. I have an appointment with my liver surgeon on Monday next week to discuss what the plan is going to be. But in order to do that, we need to know what is happening in my liver. So even though this was probably the most routine of my liver MRIs, it was also the most stressful for me. My first MRI was when we still thought I had a cyst and I didn’t know enough to be stresses. My second one was to determine what type of tumor I had and I knew it didn’t make too much of a difference what type it was. My third one was right before I was supposed to have surgery and was just a size check (I assumed that surgery was going to happen so I didn’t think too much about the size). But this one is to see what is happening so we can create a plan.

I tried not to stress too much about things because I cannot control if my tumors shrink or grow. Whatever happens is going to happen and I can’t worry too much. But at the same time, because I have no clue what is going on it is stressful. I want the tumors to keep shrinking because I really don’t want surgery. But I also know that if I do need surgery eventually that it will be the right thing for me.

So going in for this MRI was a mix of stress and exhaustion. I joked to friends that maybe I’d actually sleep in the MRI machine. That really can’t happen because there are audio cues I have to listen to about holding my breath at certain times, but I was hopeful that at least being tired would help keep me a bit relaxed. When I got to the hospital, they were running almost 2 hours behind so I spent a lot of time in the waiting room reading a book. But they ended up bringing me back early to get ready before the MRI machine was ready.

One part of getting ready was getting the IV started. They wanted to do this with me sitting on a chair and I was terrified. While I haven’t really fainted lately with needles or blood work, I was worried that the IV would make me pass out for a bit and didn’t want to fall. We ended up doing it with me sitting on a bench and leaning against the wall and I am happy to say that I didn’t faint with the IV! And then I found out that the new rules for the MRI machine meant that I couldn’t wear my own clothes and had to get gowned up. So I got changed and waited for the machine to be ready for me.

There was still more waiting once I was ready so I tried to just read my book and not think about the MRI. I was still a bit distracted and worried, but at least the reading gave me something to focus on a little more than the MRI. And once they were ready for me, I got on the table and they were able to get me positioned and strapped down (yes, you get strapped down for liver MRIs) quickly.

The MRI was only about 20 minutes since it was only a size check. I tried to count in my head during each scan and not think about what was happening or what they might be seeing. I still don’t really like MRIs and whenever the machine moved I got a bit panicky. But I stayed calm because I knew I needed to hold my breath several times and it’s not easy to do that when you are panicky.

When the contrast went into my IV, it felt as weird as it always has in the past. I hate that feeling and it did make me feel a bit faint, but I kept it together. And after the contrast went in, there is a 4 minute gap before the next scan so they were able to take my IV out so I could finish the MRI without the IV in my arm. That was nice and I’m grateful that they do that for me. And after those last few scans, it was all done and I was released from the table and was able to get changed and on with my day.

But I wasn’t done just yet. Because things were running so far behind and you have to pay to park at the hospital I go to, I decided that I was going to take advantage of something they were offering. If you got a flu shot, they gave you parking validation to cover the cost of parking that day. My parking was going to be about $20, so I figured this would be the perfect time to get my flu shot and to  not have to pay a lot for parking. I got it, didn’t pass out, and got free parking. Totally a win (except that my arm is still a bit sore).

I have my meeting with my surgeon on Monday, but I already got an email from him. I don’t have all the details, but I do know that my biggest tumor has gotten a bit smaller! When it was discovered a year ago, it was 10cm. When we did the MRI in April it was about 4cm. And in the MRI this week it was about 3cm. I don’t know about the other tumor or if the 3rd one is still not able to be seen, but this is big news! I’m assuming this means that I still won’t be having surgery, but I don’t really know much more than the size just yet. But I’ll be updating you all when I know more!

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Default ThumbnailA Boring Tumor Check In (or Still A Miracle) Default ThumbnailMRI Time (or I Think Being Calm Is Helping) Default ThumbnailTrying To Stay Calm (or Not Letting Panic Take Over) Default ThumbnailAnother Liver MRI (or Not As Routine As Always) Default ThumbnailA Quick MRI Turnaround (or At Least I Have Some Answers) Default ThumbnailGetting Ready To See My Liver Surgeon Again (or My Annual MRI)

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MRI Time (or I Think Being Calm Is Helping)

Posted on April 7, 2017 | 2 comments

I had what should be my last pre-surgery MRI this week. I needed this MRI so that we could see if any of my tumors have shrunk in the past few months. If they have shrunk, that will help me keep more of my liver during the surgery. It’s ok if they have to take some out since it does regenerate. But it would be nice to need less of my liver to regenerate because the tumors are smaller.

I previously had a monthly challenge to work on visualization to help my tumors shrink. I won’t know if this worked until I see my surgeon for my pre-op day, but I’m feeling happy with the work that I had done. I don’t feel like there is anything else I could have to help them shrink. And if they don’t shrink, that’s ok too because it wasn’t a guarantee they would get smaller after I stopped hormonal birth control. I’m prepared for anything when I see the MRI results.

Before a year ago, I had only had 1 MRI in the past and that was for my hip. But since then I’ve had 1 breast MRI and 2 liver MRIs before this most recent one. So this one was my 4th MRI in under a year. And all of those MRIs involve contrast which means I had to have an IV put in (which isn’t fun since I still don’t do well with needles). And while I’m not super claustrophobic, being inside the MRI tube isn’t fun and it can feel like the sides of the tube are closing in on me. I’m lucky because my head is toward the outside of the tube so I can tilt my head back and see a bit of the room behind me, but it can still feel very closed in.

For the MRI this week, I was feeling a bit stressed about it. Some of the stress was unnecessary (like feeling guilty that this was during work time but I had already banked the hours to cover it) but I also know that I’ve done well in past MRIs and just wanted to make sure that I would be the same this time. I’m always worried that for some reason things will be different this time (I’m like that with the dentist) and I just wanted to have a smooth MRI day.

Things started off rough with me getting there 4o minutes early because I had put it in my calendar at the wrong time, but I figured that is better than being late. And when I checked in, they let me know that they were running 30 minutes behind so I was worried I wouldn’t be home to start work when I told my manager I would be. But somehow, they ended up getting back on time quickly and I was brought back to the MRI area only 5 minutes after my appointment time.

I feel like a pro at MRIs now. I know not to wear things with metal on it so all I had to take off when I was going in was my sweatshirt and my shoes (the tech there was impressed that I wore a sports bra with no metal clasps and knew to do so). I got onto the table and the techs got everything set up with the various pillows to have me in the right position for the MRI. And then I got my IV in (I had warned them that I pass out but I came back very quickly and it wasn’t too bad) and got into the MRI tube.

Since this was my 3rd abdominal MRI, I knew that I would hear prompts to hold my breath at various times. The first time I had to do this, I wasn’t really prepared and since I was nervous it was tough for me to hold my breath when I needed to. This time, I focused on taking steady deep breaths when I didn’t have to worry about holding my breath. When I had to hold my breath, I tried to count in my head to distract myself. And I tried to zone out while the machine was going since it is so loud and can make it seem more claustrophobic for me somehow.

I have to say that this MRI was the easiest one that I’ve done. It does help that I knew what to prepare for, but I could have said that for my second liver MRI and that one still wasn’t as easy as this one was. When it was done, I was actually very surprised it was over. I thought that maybe we were only halfway through or something. But it had gone really easily and I never felt too panicky or anxious while in the MRI tube. The worst part was when the dye went in my IV, but it was not bad at all and more just a weird sensation in my arm.

I really wished I could have looked at the computer to look at my tumors. I know I couldn’t read it properly, but I am curious what things look like now. I did get a little glance at one image from my MRI where you could see the 2 smaller tumors. But since I’m more familiar with the big tumor, I can’t tell too much from looking at the image of the other ones.

In about a week, I meet with the surgeon to go over all of this and to do what should be the final pre-op step. I’m a bit anxious to hear what he will say, but I know whatever he says that things will be ok. I’m going to continue to focus on being calm and taking deep breaths since that worked so well for me in the MRI. I never expected that test to go as smoothly as it did so clearly this plan is working for me. Hopefully it works for me while in pre-op appointments, surgery, and recovery too!

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Default ThumbnailBack To Focusing On Health (or Back To Back Doctor Appointments) Default ThumbnailTime For Another MRI (or Still Trying To Stay Calm) Default ThumbnailAnother Liver MRI (or Not As Routine As Always) Default ThumbnailA Quick MRI Turnaround (or At Least I Have Some Answers) Default ThumbnailMRI Again (or Hoping For Some Answers) Default ThumbnailGetting Ready To See My Liver Surgeon Again (or My Annual MRI)

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MRI Again (or Hoping For Some Answers)

Posted on November 3, 2016 | Comments Off on MRI Again (or Hoping For Some Answers)

When I did my breast MRI to check for breast cancer, I assumed that the next MRI that I would need would be whenever I get another one on my hips. Since I’ve had very limited MRIs (just my original hip one and the breast one), there was no reason I would think I’d be getting another one soon. But after my stomach issues, I was told I needed an MRI to figure out what was going on.

I ended up getting one scheduled earlier this week. I wanted to do it on a day that I didn’t have to work because I knew they would need to put an IV in me for contrast. I had the IV and contrast in the breast MRI and didn’t enjoy it too much, so I was prepared for the worst but hoped for the best. When I arrived at Kaiser, they were running about 45 minutes behind, so I sat in the waiting area reading a book and trying not to think too much about what was coming up.

When I was taken back to the MRI area, I was expecting to be led into a changing area where I would have to take off any clothing that had metal and I assumed I would also need to be either nude or down to underwear only under a hospital gown (that’s what the other MRIs were like). But to my surprise, the only thing required was to remove any clothing that had metal in it! If I had known that, I would have worn a sports bra so I wouldn’t have had to change. I didn’t get a fun hospital gown selfie, but I did take a quick photo of my MRI outfit before going into the machine.

mri

Once I was brought into the room, I laid down on the table that goes into the machine. The techs tried to get me comfortable with pillows and settled before putting the IV in me. I had warned them about my needle issues but said that since I was laying down that if I fainted it wouldn’t be a big deal. I didn’t faint (yay me!) but I did have a brief moment where I blacked out but could still hear everything around me. It wasn’t too bad and I was glad the IV was in and done.

I didn’t really do any research about abdominal MRIs before going in, but I assumed I’d be laying on my back and just be put into the machine. But they actually had to put this plastic and foam cage type thing around my stomach first and then I was strapped down to the table (I’ve never been strapped down for an MRI before). I wasn’t able to move at all, and it really sucked when they pushed me into the machine and all of a sudden my nose was itching like crazy and I couldn’t scratch!

I’ve got some issues with claustrophobia and this really tested me. I was completely in the machine and my nose was pretty close to touching the top of the tube. My arms were pressed against the sides and I did feel a bit trapped between the closeness of the machine and the straps holding me down. Fortunately, I could tilt my head back a bit and see a bit of the room behind me. So whenever I felt like I was going to panic I did that and tried to focus on my breathing.

The contrast in my IV hurt like it did last time, but it hurt much less than it did before. I’m thinking that is because my IV was placed in a better spot this time where my body wasn’t as crunched up. But they still removed the IV from me once the contrast was done so I didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

The entire MRI time was under 30 minutes and while I had moments of panic in the machine it did go by quickly. I tried to talk to myself in my head and recite lines from scripts I know or plots from books to distract me and help pass the time. Once it was done, I was finally able to relax and only then did I realize that I was pretty tensed up the entire time inside the machine. It’s wasn’t too bad, but some of my muscles felt sore like I had done a workout.

While I’m not happy I’m going through this medical unknown right now, I’m working on thinking of the positives. I’ve had more opportunities to work on my issues with needles and I feel like it is getting better. I’m hopeful that maybe in a few years I won’t have even the little blackouts with needles. I also was able to test my claustrophobia and panic disorder and had to force myself to settle those issues without medication or any distractions.

I haven’t heard anything about the MRI since going in, but that’s a good sign. I have an appointment to discuss what’s happening and what the plan is with a surgeon next week, and if I heard something sooner that would only mean something really bad and urgent is wrong with me. I’m very hopeful that this is going be a situation that will just be something that needs to be monitored from time to time and not something that will require surgery soon. But no matter what the plan and situation is, I know that it will be fine and I will be ok.

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Default ThumbnailMRI Prep Work (or Vampire Victim and Nerves) Default ThumbnailMRI Time (or I Think Being Calm Is Helping) Default ThumbnailAnother Liver MRI (or Not As Routine As Always) Default ThumbnailMRI Time (or Another Type Of Cancer Screening) Default ThumbnailTime For Another MRI (or Still Trying To Stay Calm) Default ThumbnailGetting Ready To See My Liver Surgeon Again (or My Annual MRI)

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