Tag Archives: grandparents

The Roadrunner (or More Memories In My House)

Posted on December 2, 2015 | Comments Off

For several years, I’ve been getting things of my grandparents’ to put into my house.

This started when my grandparents were selling their house and moving to their apartment. They had to do a big downsizing and lots of things were given to various family members. While I didn’t really get any pieces of furniture, I got some cool things from my grandpa’s office. That never felt weird because since they were downsizing, they chose to give those things away. And none of the things I got had significant memories to me because they were mainly things from my grandpa’s office (I wasn’t in his office that often in their house).

Then after my grandpa died, I got more things that belonged to my grandparents because my grandma was moving from the apartment she shared with my grandpa into a smaller apartment.

Some of the things I got then were sent to me by my parents (like the mattress from the guest room) and were selected for me. Some things were things that I specifically asked to get to keep (like the martini swords I got). And some things were things that I saw right before the old apartment was closed up when I went to lunch with my grandma and aunt. Everything that nobody had claimed was in the living room and I was allowed to select anything that I thought was cool and wanted to keep. I took a couple of things, but again they weren’t really things that had specific memories for me.

When I went down to San Diego for Thanksgiving, I knew I’d be bringing back the bear made from my grandpa’s sweaters. The bears had been shipped to my parents’ house, so I didn’t get to pick mine out until Thanksgiving. But I wasn’t expecting to take anything else home with me.

But when I was hanging out with my parents the night I arrived, I saw two painting from my grandparents’ house sitting in the rental house. I asked my mom why they were there, and she said that they were taking them back to their house because they had previously been stored.

One painting I’m not sure where it was in my grandparents’ house. But the other painting was very familiar to me. It used to be in the kitchen eating area of my grandparents’ house. I always called it “The Roadrunner” because it reminded me of the roadrunner in the cartoons. I think my brother and cousins might have called it that as well, but I’m not too sure.

I told my mom that I’d like to have The Roadrunner one day because I’ve always loved that painting. My parents then decided that they really didn’t have a place for The Roadrunner to be in their house, so I could take the painting home with me when I drove back to LA (thank goodness I have a decent sized car).

The day after I got back to LA, my parents came to my house for the afternoon. They were driving up to Santa Barbara to see my brother and sister-in-law and made a stop by me to have lunch, see my house, and help me do projects in my house. Fortunately, almost all the projects in my house were already done (I installed the a/c without my dad being there). But my parents did help me hang The Roadrunner in my living room.

Right below The Roadrunner is the acrylic chair I got from my grandparents’ apartment (it was my grandma’s makeup vanity chair in there) and on the chair is my bear.

I love having these things in my house, but it is a bit odd having The Roadrunner in there. I have thousands of memories of that hanging in my grandparents’ kitchen and even though I haven’t seen it in that space in years the memories are still strong. I’m almost doing double takes every time I pass it because it doesn’t feel quite right yet that it’s with me and not with my grandma.

It’s weird that this painting is the first thing that made me feel like I’m stealing something from my grandparents (which is not the case at all) and nothing else I’ve gotten has had anything but positive feelings. It might be because of all of the memories attached or it might be because it’s the most obvious thing in my house that I’ve gotten.

I know that the weird feeling will hopefully go away soon and I will only have the feeling of gratefulness that my family let me have this painting in my house because it is special to me. And I can create new memories with The Roadrunner now.

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Posted in Family, Fun Stuff, Tough Stuff

Tagged grandparents, home, San Diego, Thanksgiving

Grandpa Bears (or Our Thanksgiving Surprise)

Posted on November 27, 2015 | Comments Off

When my grandpa passed away, my grandma immediately wanted us to remove his things from their apartment. I totally understood why she wanted us to do that and most of his things were either easy enough to get rid of or someone was going to take to their house (like his computer so we could get all important things off of it). But when we were in his closet, we weren’t 100% what we wanted to do with all of his clothes.

Some of the things we set aside for various family members to keep, but most of it was going to be donated to a charity. While I liked the idea of donating his clothes, I thought it might be nice to keep some of it for us to remember him by. My grandpa had some epic and colorful sweaters and didn’t want to donate those.

Then I remembered seeing on a website at some point that people turn baby clothes into bears to have as keepsakes from when their kids were little. I figured if you could do that with baby clothes, we could do that with my grandpa’s clothes too. My mom and dad decided to help with the plan, and only my Aunt Cindy and Uncle Steve knew about it as well.

So I did some searching online and found several people who make memory bears. But the person who made the ones that looked best to me and my mom was Paula of Paula’s Bears. She totally understood that we had multiple sweaters and wanted to create mix and match patchwork bears. So everyone would have the same sweaters on their bear, but all the bears would look a little different. I also had some of my grandpa’s ties and Paula said we could use those for the hands and feet.

Paula was undertaking a big project for us, but fortunately we got her the sweaters and ties in April and we didn’t need the bears back until October. I had asked Paula if she could take pictures of the bears as they were being worked on because I knew we’d all love to see the process of making them.

She cut each sweater into a bear and then mixed and matched the pieces. So each bear had a part of every sweater on it. Some had the same sweater in the same spot, but they were all a bit different.

Every time I got an update from Paula, I passed it on to my parents and we were all shocked and amazed at how the bears looked. We had no idea how they would look when they were in bear form, but Paula did such a great job making them all look perfect.

The bears were shipped to my parents house (my mom added various fraternity pins, boy scout things, and my grandpa’s dog tags to each bear to make them even more unique) and when they got the bears out of the box and lined up, we joked that we created a bear army.

We made enough bears for one for each single person or one for a couple to share (as an example, I get a bear but my parents will share a bear). I know that I will treasure this bear for forever and I hope that the rest of the family feels the same way about them.

Having Paula make these bears for us is such a nice way to remember someone by that doesn’t feel morbid or weird to keep in your house. I’m not totally sure where my bear will live in my house, but I know I’ll find the perfect spot for him.

If any of you are looking to have a memory or keepsake bear made, I highly recommend using Paula for them. She took so much care in making sure each bear was perfect and those touches really made all the difference. I know that tomorrow is Small Business Saturday and I really encourage you all to participate in that. Small businesses are sometimes just someone working out of their home and they can make the item you are buying even more special.

I know that having Paula was the perfect person to make these bears for my family and I’m so happy that I found her online. I know that for any future projects similar to the bears, I will be going back to her immediately. I’ve been wanting to tell you all about Paula and the bears for months, but I had to keep it a secret so that we could surprise the family. I’m glad that I can finally share her with you now!

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Posted in Celebrations, Family, Fun Stuff, Shopping, Tough Stuff

Tagged family, gift, grandparents, presents, Thanksgiving

Scripted Jewelry (or My Mom’s Hanukkah Present)

Posted on November 25, 2015 | Comments Off

I take a lot of pride in the fact that I’m pretty good at giving gifts to people. I listen to what people say off-hand throughout the year and use that as inspiration for birthday and holiday gifts. And most of the time, the gift is a hit!

Most of my awesome gifts have been things I’ve gotten my dad. He’s much easier to shop for, so I can figure out something he’ll love pretty quickly. In the past, I’ve gotten him an iPod, a gym bag (that has a lifetime warranty and he’s had replaced twice since), a ski bag, and a chair made out of old skis. This year for Hanukkah, my dad got TRX straps from me, but I gave them to him back in April since I figured he’d want them.

My mom is much tougher to shop for. She always says that she doesn’t need anything and even when my dad does spy work for me we sometimes can’t figure out what to get her. I had an idea for a gift that didn’t end up panning out, so I was stuck a bit ago with no idea what to get my mom.

When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I got her and I matching bracelets with the word “positivity” on them. We both have loved them, but since they are made with an elastic they have stretched out. I’ve gotten us replacements before, but I was thinking that maybe a stronger piece of jewelry would be the right Hanukkah gift.

I did lots of random searches and couldn’t find what I wanted. But I had stumbled across the ScriptedJewelry page on Etsy and realized that this could be the perfect gift. I decided to make my mom a piece of jewelry for her to remember my grandpa by.

I did need a lot of help with this project. I actually don’t have any handwriting of my grandpa’s in my house. Everything I got from him was typed or my grandma wrote it. So I initially asked my dad for help, but he wasn’t able to find any handwriting samples either. I asked my Aunt Cindy and Uncle Steve for help next, and they found a letter that my grandpa typed to them on their honeymoon, but he signed it “Dad” at the bottom. So that was perfect to start with!

I realized that I would have to get my mom involved because we knew that she had old letters of my grandpa. So I lied to her and said that I wanted to do something for Thanksgiving and needed some of my grandpa’s old letters. I’m glad she didn’t ask me too many questions about it because I have no idea what I would have told her. But she had a couple of letters that my grandpa wrote his parents during WWII and she scanned those in and sent them to me. At the bottom of one letter, he had signed it “all my love, Bob”, so I was going to take the “all my love,” part of it.

I had reached out to the woman behind ScriptedJewelry, Caroline, and she said that they could combine the two handwriting samples and make something really beautiful for my mom. Of course, I had to figure out what type of jewelry to make for her. So I told my mom that I was working on her Hanukkah present and that she was not allowed to ask me questions but had to answer questions from me. I managed to find out that she would want a teardrop necklace in gold.

A couple of weeks later, the necklace was at my house and I’m so amazed by how wonderful it looks!

You can really see how the handwriting matches the necklace in this picture that Caroline took for me (it’s so much better than my iPhone photos!).

As I’m writing this, I haven’t given my mom the necklace yet. But by the time you are reading this, she has gotten it and hopefully she loves it!

The cutoff for Christmas present for ScriptedJewelry is December 1st, so I know that it might be too late for some of you to order from her for Christmas. But I highly encourage you all to make something to remember a loved one by. She can also turn artwork from kids into jewelry if you don’t want something with handwriting on it.

I’m so lucky that my random searching online led me to ScriptedJewelry and that I was able to have my family help me in making what should be one of the best gifts I’ve gotten for my mom ever.

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Posted in Celebrations, Family, Shopping

Tagged gift, grandparents, Hanukkah, mom, necklace, presents, Thanksgiving

Skipping Over An Anniversary (or Forgetting But Not Forgetting)

Posted on September 11, 2015 | Comments Off

This past Monday was my grandparents’ anniversary. Last year, I was lucky enough to spend their anniversary with them in San Diego. It was a pretty fun trip and I had a great time celebrating with them and seeing some of my other family. And after that I got to see my grandparents a few other times prior to my grandpa passing away.

Obviously, you never know when someone is going to pass away. We had no clue that my grandparents’ anniversary last year would have been the last one that they would celebrate together. And even if we did, I don’t know if we would have done anything different with our celebration.

I’ve mentioned that days that used to be celebrations for someone who has passed away have been weird for me. Some dates are harder than others. Usually dates where I remember that I don’t need to buy a card are the worst. But this is the first time that there has been an anniversary that I usually celebrate where one person has passed away. It’s one thing to not celebrate a birthday or even Father’s Day for someone who has passed away. But an anniversary where one person in the couple is still alive does seem weird to not celebrate.

I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to call my grandma for her anniversary or anything so I checked with my mom and my aunt. Both of them said that we weren’t going to celebrate it because it may have upset my grandma. We weren’t trying to forget that it was their anniversary, but we didn’t want to bring it up and make my grandma sad that my grandpa isn’t alive anymore. I think they might have also thought it is a weird thing to try to celebrate when half of the people you are celebrating are dead.

Even though I was nervous about how to celebrate my grandparents’ anniversary, it did feel weird not celebrating it. I did acknowledge it on social media by posting the photo that I took at their last anniversary.

With this anniversary gone, I wonder if it will be weird again next year on their anniversary. Or how it’s going to feel at Thanksgiving when I think it will hit us all pretty hard that my grandpa isn’t there. There was a Thanksgiving years ago where my grandpa got sick and ended up in the hospital on Thanksgiving (we brought pie to the hospital after dinner). That dinner was weird enough and we all knew that he was fine and being released from the hospital the next day. What’s it going to be like when we know that he isn’t just somewhere else and we’ll see him the next day?

I guess this is all part of the grief process. I’ve had a weird time with grieving his death. Obviously I’m sad that my grandpa is gone. He’s the only grandpa I knew. But he and I have a very complicated relationship. While I’m sad I also have other conflicting feelings. But the sadness is greater because I also have the sadness I feel for other members of my family and how they are grieving.

Dealing with all these complicated feelings can be tough. I know that grief can be a long process and having these significant dates can bring up lots of feelings or make you feel like you took a step back in dealing with death. I’m just trying to focus on the positives and think about how much fun it will be at Thanksgiving this year with all of my family, even if we will be missing one family member.

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Posted in Celebrations, Family, Tough Stuff

Tagged anniversary, death, grandparents

Another San Diego Day Trip (or 3 Generations and A Dog)

Posted on August 18, 2015 | Comments Off

I went down to San Diego for the day this past Sunday. Obviously, I went to visit my grandma. But my parents and dog were also there so I wanted to see them all too!

The last time I was down there was when my grandma had just moved into her new place and the apartment that she and my grandpa shared was still being cleaned out. So I didn’t spend a ton of time in the new room or with my grandma (I was busy helping my aunt organize things and get things set aside for me). But now, the old apartment isn’t my grandma’s anymore and she’s totally in her new space. I love where she lives now. While it is small, it’s really cute and all the things that my grandma needs are in there.

The original plan for the day was for me to get there before noon and we’d spend most of the day at my grandma’s place until we went out to dinner. But when I arrived, my dad met me at the valet stand and told me that all the air conditioning in the building was broken. We are going through quite a heat wave here, so without air conditioning my grandma’s room was pretty unbearable. So we spent about an hour at a little mini dog park across the street so Tucker could stretch out (it was too hot to run) and we could enjoy some shade and a little breeze.

When it was time for my grandma’s lunch, I went into the lunch room and sat with her while my parents stayed back with the dog (he can’t be in the lunch room). My grandma isn’t nearly as chatty and social as she was in the past, but we were able to have some nice conversations. I showed her lots of pictures on Facebook that my cousins, brother, and I have posted lately (she doesn’t have a computer so she doesn’t get to see those pictures). She liked seeing the pictures from my birthday and the one’s my cousin posts of her kids.

After lunch, we hung out in my grandma’s room for a little while since the air conditioning was working again, but then my parents and I left so she could rest and we could go to the hotel where my parents were staying.

When it was just me and my parents, we talked about a lot of random stuff. I’m hoping to get out to Tahoe this winter since I never made it out this summer. So we discussed some possible dates for me to meet them there. My dad had some iPhone and iPad questions so I took care of those for him (that’s how I “pay” him for my house repairs). And of course, we played with Tucker who is still a very silly puppy.

My parents, my grandma, and I went to dinner at Ruth’s Chris. I had never been there before (or according to my parents I might have been when I was little), but it was a really nice dinner. We were celebrating my parents’ anniversary so there was a special page in the menu for them.

We also sat inside right at the window so we had a pretty amazing view of the sunset.

My mom, dad, and I all ordered one of the special 4 course meals (which was cheaper than a steak on its own) and it was really yummy! My dad and I shared some of our food and he gave me his leftovers to eat for lunch the next day. Since our 4 course specials came with dessert, they added a nice touch to my parents’ desserts.

After dinner we took my grandma home and I said goodbye to her. Then I went back to my parents’ hotel (where my car was) and said goodbye to my parents and dog. As of right now, I don’t know if I’ll see them before Thanksgiving. So it might be goodbye for a while.

On my drive back home, I did have one really fun treat. I was driving by Disneyland when they were shooting the fireworks off! The fireworks are shot off so close to the freeway that you can watch them while you are driving without having to take your eyes off of the road. That helped to break up the driving.

Fortunately, I’m so used to doing this drive in the same day that it’s not a big deal to me anymore. I’m not sure if I’ll make it down to San Diego again before we are all there for Thanksgiving, but I’m really going to try.

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Posted in Family, Food, Fun Stuff, Travel

Tagged dinner, family, grandparents, San Diego, trip

Seeing Signs (or Is This Denial?)

Posted on June 30, 2015 | Comments Off

It’s now been almost 2 months since my grandpa passed away. And I’m still questioning if I’ve accepted it. It doesn’t feel real to me still. And maybe that’s because I only visited my grandparents a couple of times a year and I’ve only been down to see my grandma twice since it happened. I’m thinking that it might not feel real until Thanksgiving when I think his absence will really be felt.

I’ve been lucky where very few people who I love have passed away. But it usually feels real right away. But then again, many times it’s been after a long illness and I knew that this was coming.

When Kip (my acting teacher) passed away, it was after about a year in the hospital. Every so often we thought that he was getting better and going to come home, but then something would happen and he would take a turn for the worst. This went on for so many months that I wondered if he would just live for several years in the hospital (we tried to make it seem homey for him and decorate for the holidays). In the end, he decided to end all life-extending measures and we were all given a chance to say goodbye. When I went, he wasn’t really conscious, but there was music playing in the room and every so often he would smile at that. I was there for maybe 30 minutes telling him how much I loved him and then said goodbye. He passed away a day or two later.

With my friend Keri, that was another long illness. While I never really said goodbye to Keri, I still knew that this was coming. And honestly, I doubt she would have allowed me to say goodbye to her. She was always so positive and wouldn’t want to have me think about not seeing her again.

The one death that I’ve experienced that was unexpected in the past was my Great Aunt Shirley. She was like my grandma on my dad’s side. Her health was always a little poor, but when I got the call that she passed away, I was shocked. I never got to say goodbye to her and I regret that I didn’t have a phone call with her closer to her death (our last phone call was about 2 months before she passed).

I’m not hoping to necessarily feel sad about my grandpa’s death. He and I had a very complicated relationship and I understand why my emotions might not be what people expect. But some sense of closure might be nice.

I may have gotten a bit of that this past weekend. I was at the grocery store picking up a few things. They had a display of Coke bottles near the check out. I haven’t had soda in years so I still don’t know why I looked at it. But when I did, in the center was my grandpa’s name.

I’m not sure what this sign meant, but it was definitely something. And for some reason, it gave me a bit more peace with everything.

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Posted in Tough Stuff

Tagged death, grandparents

Feeling Like Something’s Missing (or Getting Sad In The Greeting Card Aisle)

Posted on May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Today would have been my grandpa’s 93rd birthday. It’s the first holiday/event that would have celebrated him since he passed away (Mother’s Day doesn’t count).

I’ve been lucky that I’ve only lost a few people in my life, but the first time that I have to skip over buying them a card for something I would have celebrated in the past has always been the toughest for me. I have even forgotten that people have passed away and have bought them cards and didn’t realize the mistake until after I got home.

My calendar alerts me to all birthdays/anniversaries/holidays 2 weeks in advance so I have time to get a card and mail it out. I can’t seem to delete events of people who have passed away. I still get a reminder for Keri’s birthday (I also could never forget it since it’s the day between my cousin’s birthday and my birthday). It breaks my heart a little bit having that reminder come up, but I can’t seem to get rid of it. I don’t get rid of phone numbers or emails either. Somehow that doesn’t seem right to do.

It feels so weird to not be on the lookout for the perfect birthday card for my grandpa. Getting cards for him were always a bit of a challenge. My grandma is easy (anything with butterflies), but my grandpa wasn’t a fan of sappy cards. I’d try to find one with a dirty joke because that was more his style.

And with my grandpa’s birthday so close to Father’s Day, I usually make one trip to the store to get his birthday card and Father’s Day cards for him and my dad. This time, instead of getting 3 cards I’m only getting 1.

I’ve wondered why my grandpa’s death hasn’t felt real for me. It’s weird. Even after my mom called to tell me and other family members started to call or post things on Facebook, I wondered if it was a big mistake (I felt the same way when my mom told me she had cancer). Seeing my grandma in the apartment alone or now in her new apartment didn’t make it seem real either. It almost feels like he was out doing an errand or at the hospital or something. I do sometimes do a double take when I see things that belonged to my grandparents in my house. It feels weird having those items here when they have always belonged to them (and I can picture exactly where they were in both their old house and recent apartment).

But not getting the cards that I have gotten for forever really make me realize that he’s gone and that I don’t have to buy his cards anymore. I’m not necessarily sad. I am sad for the loss my family has had, you can only admire how full of a life he lived. I hope that I can get to 92. I think grief and loss for me is not as much being sad as it is trying to think about all of the positives and trying to do things that I know would make that person happy.

So tonight after my workout, I plan on having a martini with a blue cheese olive (using the martini swords) and doing a toast to my grandpa and to the other people who I have loved and lost.

Cheers to you Grandpa.

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Posted in Family, Tough Stuff

Tagged birthday, death, drinks, grandparents

Another Evening Of Mentees (or Advice and Socializing)

Posted on May 21, 2015 | 3 comments

My second mentee only meeting with my Women in Film mentoring group was this past week. I offered to host again because it’s pretty convenient for me to have the meetings in my house. Plus it seems to be centrally located for the rest of the group.

Only about half of our group was able to make it, but I was still excited to catch up with those who were going to be there. I took the opportunity to use my new serving dishes I got from my grandparents and they were perfect!

Since the group was smaller this time than in the past, we only spent about an hour catching up on the goals that we have gotten done and what our goals for our next meeting will be. It still inspires me every time when I hear what everyone else is doing with their careers. I’m so lucky that I was matched with this group who are all very motivated and are dedicated to getting as much out of this mentoring group as possible. This is exactly what I was hoping to get out of doing a second mentoring circle.

I hate that I feel like I’m trash talking my old mentoring group. I’m not. But with that group our mentors weren’t as tough on us about attending meetings and they never told us to meet on our own between the meetings with them. And the other women in the group were mostly absent from the meetings. I really only got to know 2 of the other women because they were the ones who showed up for the meetings.

After our hour of catching up, we ate some dessert and started to me less formal and more social as a group. It’s not that we haven’t been social in the past, but this time we really relaxed and started to share fun and silly stories. I got to know the ladies much better and I feel that we got to bond a bit more as a group. I’m hoping that if we try to stay to time limits with our personal catchup and goals discussion that at future mentee only meetings we can continue to be more social and not just about business. It was a really nice touch and I think that everyone else enjoyed that too.

We will have another meeting with our mentors next month (the date isn’t set yet), and I’m hoping to have fun news to update everyone with. Since everyone else always seems to have such great news and stories to tell everyone, I feel almost a bit competitive and want to have some awesome news of my own.

So I’m trying to work on my career much harder than I have in the past just so I can feel like I can keep up with everyone. But I think that is one of the reasons you get into a mentoring group like this. You get motivated by everyone else to better yourself and you have a great group to lean on and ask for help.

I’m working on some ideas about what will push me farther in my career, and I’ll be sharing one of those things with you all tomorrow!

3 Comments

Posted in Acting, Food, Fun Stuff

Tagged acting, dinner, goals, grandparents, mentoring, social, Women in Film

San Diego Beach Lunch (or Having Some Of My Grandparents’ Things In My House)

Posted on May 20, 2015 | 1 comment

I hadn’t seen my grandma in a few weeks, so I knew it was time to get back down to San Diego to see her. Also, my grandma is downsizing to a smaller apartment in the community that she and my grandpa moved to about 3 years ago so I’m inheriting some things that won’t fit in the new apartment. I already have my mattress and my parents brought me a few things, but there was a box that didn’t fit into my parents’ car as well as some other things that my parents wanted me to look at.

So I decided to head down to San Diego on Sunday to visit with my grandma as well as get the things that were waiting for me there.

I was pretty lucky and made it down to San Diego in just under 2 hours, so I was at my grandma’s place a bit earlier than I planned. The plan for the day was for my grandma, my Aunt Nancy, and I to go to lunch and then my aunt and I would go to the old apartment on our own. Shortly after I arrived, my aunt got there and we headed in the car to go to lunch.

We went to Poseidon in Del Mar which was right on the beach. There was a bit of a wait for a table, so we sat outside and enjoyed the beach from the sidewalk (I didn’t want to get sandy).

After about 15 minutes, a table on the patio was ready for us. It wasn’t right at the edge overlooking the beach, but we could still see the beach and water from our table.

Lunch was pretty good. We had a long wait for our meal. It took them over an hour to bring our food to us and tables who were seated 15 or 20 minutes after us got their food first, but they were very apologetic about it and comped one of the entrees. I had gotten so hungry that when they brought my sandwich I started eating it right away without taking a photo (sorry). But I had a very nice turkey sandwich.

When we got back to my grandma’s apartment, I said goodbye to my grandma and my aunt and I headed back to the old apartment. My Aunt Cindy had warned me that I might be upset because the apartment looked empty and weird, but shockingly it didn’t bother me. I think I had prepared myself for it to look worse, so it wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be.

The box that my parents had left for me was there and my aunt asked me to go around the apartment to see if there was anything else that I wanted to keep. All the stuff that was left in the apartment was going to be donated to charity, so I could take whatever I wanted.

It felt a little weird and almost like stealing from my grandparents, but I knew that if I didn’t take stuff, nobody in my family would have it. So I found a couple of things that I wanted like a purse, some quartz bookends, a lucite vanity chair, napkin rings, and a vase. And my aunt had found my grandparents’ copy of my parents’ wedding album along with their wedding invitation so I got that as well.

I also had brought my gardening shears and a plastic bag for a specific project. My grandparents had some amazing succulent plants on their balcony and because the planters they were in were so heavy, they were just going to be thrown out. But if you cut a succulent and let it dry a little, you can plant it and it will grow. So I cut a bunch of pieces and will be planting half for me and half for my parents.

By then, it was after 3pm and I wanted to head home. So we got a luggage cart from the concierge at the building and I brought down the things I was bringing home.

My drive home was a bit longer than my drive down, but it was still uneventful. And as soon as I got home I unpacked the box that my parents had packed and sealed for me. There were a couple of things that I knew they were giving me (like new sheets and some of my grandparents’ serving platters), but there was one thing that was so special to me.

I’ve mentioned my grandpa’s love of martinis and how he got me to love martinis as well. And a few years ago I got him hooked on blue cheese olives. My grandpa always used these really cool swords to keep his olives in his martinis and I always thought that that was the most amazing thing. So when my parents had asked me if there was anything from my grandparents’ apartment that I wanted that my grandma wasn’t taking to her new apartment, the only thing I could think of was those swords. Those were in the sealed box along with the last jar of olives from the case that I brought my grandpa last year.

Those swords are so special to me. I have them on display in my dining room now and they make me smile when I walk past them. While I’ve gotten lots of cool stuff from my grandparents’ old apartment, those swords are the most sentimental to me.

I’m still finding places for some of the other things that I brought back with me, but I’m so grateful that I have things that remind me of my grandparents in my house now. I don’t get to see my grandma as often as I’d like (the 4 hour round trip makes it tough to do too many day trips), but having some of their things in my house makes me feel closer to my grandma and helps me not miss her as much.

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Posted in Family, Food, Tough Stuff

Tagged beach, drinks, grandparents, home, lunch, San Diego

A Couple Of Days In San Diego (or Trying To Focus On The Good And Not The Sad)

Posted on April 9, 2015 | 2 comments

I just spent the past few days in San Diego with my family. My parents, aunt, and uncle got down there on Thursday. But they wanted to have a few days with my grandma on their own first. So I came down on Sunday (my brother flew down that day too). And I was there through Tuesday.

I wanted to bring some food down with me for the family, but my mom was cooking a ton. So I mentioned a few things that I could make that would be good for any meal, and my mom thought that my blueberry banana bread would be perfect (plus, my grandpa loved it).

I’ve made that recipe so many times but this had to be my best batch ever.

Obviously it was a very sad time for my family. We had to do some of the not so fun tasks you have to do when someone passes away. I tried to help out as much as I could, but most of it was being done by my mom and uncle (my aunt who is their sibling wasn’t able to get back to San Diego until Tuesday).

We spent some time remembering some of the funny stories about my grandpa. But we didn’t do a ton of that because it always seemed to make someone sad.

My brother got my grandma to play him in several games of backgammon.

My grandma kicks butt at backgammon. Ever since I was little my grandpa would say that grandma must be a witch because she can get double sixes every time that she needs them.

My brother played as tough as he could. But my grandma won 6 games and Ross only won 3.

We also tried to enjoy spending time with the dog. Since my parents had to get down to San Diego quickly, they couldn’t arrange for a dog sitter. So Tucker spent a lot of time with us being his usual goofy self. I think he especially loved having my brother and I in the same hotel room as my parents (it was a two bedroom hotel room). And he loved my bedding.

We also heard some amazing stories from other residents and some employees of the building that my grandparents live in. Everyone had such nice things to say about my grandpa. Everyone seemed so shocked about him passing away because even just the day before he was his usual feisty self.

In the mailroom of the building they live in, they posted a wonderful photo of my grandpa. Nobody in my family had ever seen that photo before, so I asked the concierge of their building where the photo came from. It turns out that they took it when my grandparents moved in a few years ago. They asked if we wanted the photo and I said yes. And my uncle scanned it in so we could all have it.

I wish that I could have stayed down there longer, but my aunts, uncle, and parents will be there for the rest of the week. And my parents will probably be down again in another week or two. I’ll probably go down there again then.

For now, it’s time for me to get back to my normal life. That’s what my grandpa would want me to do. He probably would have hated that I wrote the post on Tuesday about him. He didn’t like having a fuss made for him.

So it’s back to my day job, my workouts, and hopefully some auditions.

2 Comments

Posted in Family, Tough Stuff, Travel

Tagged death, dog, family, grandparents, San Diego

Tag Archives: grandparents

The Roadrunner (or More Memories In My House)

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Grandpa Bears (or Our Thanksgiving Surprise)

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Scripted Jewelry (or My Mom’s Hanukkah Present)

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Skipping Over An Anniversary (or Forgetting But Not Forgetting)

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Another San Diego Day Trip (or 3 Generations and A Dog)

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Seeing Signs (or Is This Denial?)

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Feeling Like Something’s Missing (or Getting Sad In The Greeting Card Aisle)

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San Diego Beach Lunch (or Having Some Of My Grandparents’ Things In My House)

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A Couple Of Days In San Diego (or Trying To Focus On The Good And Not The Sad)

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