Tag Archives: friends

Still Celebrating Halloween (or A Virtual Costume To Go With A Virtual Party)

Posted on November 5, 2020 | Comments Off on Still Celebrating Halloween (or A Virtual Costume To Go With A Virtual Party)

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. Even if I don’t have a great costume, I love dressing up a bit and being creative with a costume. And I especially love seeing the costumes that my friends come up with. The party that Marie and Chris throw every year is such an incredible Halloween party, and I look forward to it every year. When the pandemic started, I don’t think anyone thought we’d still be staying home by Halloween. I mean, I remember thinking that we’d all be able to be together for the 4th of July. But here we are, almost 8 months later and still staying home.

But being at home didn’t mean that Marie and Chris weren’t going to throw a Halloween party. I had a feeling they would do a virtual party, and that’s exactly what they did! I was running a Netflix Party group that night, but I was able to time it out so I didn’t miss too much of the party. They had teased that there was going to be something special at 6:30 and I figured out how to make the Netflix Party work so that I was done at 6:25!

Since the party was virtual, I thought it would be funny to do a virtual costume. I knew I wanted to do something fun with my Zoom background, but I wasn’t sure what to do until I saw a post in a Facebook group that inspired me. The post was about funny ideas for Halloween decorations and it was a bunch of crosses in a yard with the names of guys that have ghosted women. I loved that idea, but I had to make it work in a Zoom background. So I found an image of a graveyard and I added text on it to have some nicknames of guys I’ve gone out with and the dates we were texting or seeing each other before they ghosted me. I did a test with the background before the party and even though you couldn’t see one of the tombstones, I think it looked pretty funny!

It was a little hard for the tombstones to be read, but I was ok with that. I knew I’d have to explain the “costume” no matter what. So I just planned on explaining it and reading to everyone what I wrote.

I made it to the virtual party before 6:30 so I was able to chat with my friends for a few minutes before the guest arrived. And the guest wasn’t as much of a guest as it was a puzzle and mystery for us all to solve! Marie and Chris had a video of them as skeletons saying their souls were stolen and needed our help to get them back. It was so clever and creative and all of us were enjoying it so much while watching the video!

We were told that we could work together as a group or solve it alone. The thing from the video was about solving a riddle, so I figured I could solve that alone and I did that and followed the instructions to give them the answer. After I did that, I got a crossword puzzle in return. That’s when all of us at the party decided to work together. I was the designated answer writer since I printed out the crossword. We quickly were able to get all the answers and I submitted that for the next clue.

And the next clue was a pattern of lines that was an overlay to put over the crossword. Then we wrote down all the words that were under the lines to get the next clue. That took us to Facebook and a specific photo they had posted. If you zoomed into the photo, there was a tiny.url listed and we realized we had to go there. That led to an unlisted YouTube video that mentioned a series of numbers. Someone in the group realized those numbers could be a Zoom meeting code and password, and they were right! After we entered the new Zoom meeting, that became the full party!

It was so much fun working through all the clues and puzzles we had to do to get to the party. It made things feel much more like we were together and not just a bunch of people looking at each other on screens. And we were able to get through the puzzles relatively quickly because we had worked together. So it was a nice moment for us to bond as a group since there were some people in the party that I hadn’t met before.

Once we were in the second party, it was like the other Zoom parties Marie and Chris have done. Some people were in costumes and some people were not. And a few had fun Zoom backgrounds like haunted houses and things like that. There wasn’t a costume parade, but I still liked to see what people dressed as and it was nice that we were trying to be festive.

And we just all talked about lots of random and fun things. We discussed random movies and Halloween stuff. Marie and Chris even had trivia questions so we could do little trivia games where we competed against each other. I only got 1 trivia question right, but I still had so much fun.

I wanted to be able to stay at the virtual party as late as possible since I didn’t have to drive home after it and I was able to sleep in the next day. But it seems like being on Zoom hangouts takes it out of me more than I would expect. I just felt so tired after being on there for a few hours. I think by the time I was saying goodnight to everyone, I was in the party for about 3 hours. I also had been on the computer almost the entire day without a break, so that might have been part of it too. I didn’t want to say goodnight to everyone, but I needed to so I could get some sleep.

Of course, having a party in person would have been the best and would have made all of us so happy, but there just isn’t a way to do that right now and be safe. And a virtual party is much better than nothing at all. I think all of us just want this pandemic to be under control to the point where we can see each other in person again. And it’s tough when we have no idea when that might happen. The next big party for the group is usually New Year’s Eve, and I’m not sure if things will be any better by then. After that, we have the Oscar party. Maybe by then, we can be together since the Oscars have been pushed back to be a bit later. The Oscar party was the last party that we were able to have this year, so it would be nice if that was the first one back.

I hope that everyone had a good Halloween, even if it wasn’t what you are used to doing. And hopefully by next year, we will all be able to celebrate the way we are used to. I have a feeling that if we can, all of us are going to have epic Halloweens in 2021!

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Default ThumbnailVirtual Memorial Day (or Doing The Best We Can For Now) Default ThumbnailA Busy Halloween (or Dressing As A Box Office Employee) Default ThumbnailLow-Key Halloween (or A Work In Progress) Default ThumbnailHaving Some Halloween Fun (or Creating A Clever Costume) Default ThumbnailLow Key Halloween (or Costume Flashback) Default ThumbnailFirst Halloween Party Of The Season (or At Least I Made An Appearance)

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Posted in Celebrations, Fun Stuff

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Driving and Voting (or Having A Fun Afternoon)

Posted on October 20, 2020 | Comments Off on Driving and Voting (or Having A Fun Afternoon)

I don’t leave my house that often these days. I do drive my car every few weeks so the battery doesn’t die, but those drives are usually just driving around with no purpose. It gets me out of my house, so I guess that’s something. But I rarely have something I have to do. But this past Friday, I actually had a few things to do and it got me driving around LA.

First, I had to drive to the valley to see 2 different friends who both had things for me. We still kept our distance and wore masks, but it was so nice to see friends in person. That’s really a rare treat these days. And even though I didn’t see either friend that long, the minutes I did spend with them was really nice. I got to catch up with them both and just feel a little bit of normalcy.

I have chatted with friends through social media, texts, phone calls, and video calls. But there is no substitution for seeing someone in person. And it was weird not being able to hug them or be closer when we were talking (plus the weirdness I still feel wearing masks), but this was better than nothing. And it was something that I had been looking forward to for about a week, so it was nice to have something fun in my week to keep me going when I wasn’t feeling so great.

Both of my friends lived within a few minutes of each other, so it was easy to go from one place to the next. And I lucked out with finding great parking at both of their places. Again, the little things make me happy.

Then I drove back home to my side of town for one more important errand. Last week, I worked on my ballot and made sure I got it all done. I always vote by mail, and I usually mail it back. But with the mail being slow these days and how many people might be mailing ballots back, I decided to drop off my ballot. I never have done that before and I didn’t actually realize there were drop off boxes that were not in voting places. I just thought if you dropped off your ballot that you were going to where people voted and there was a box there. I think the boxes are somewhat new to LA, but I’m not sure. I never looked into other options besides putting my ballot in the mail.

There are so many drop-off box locations around LA. I could have found one in the valley near my friends’ homes, but I didn’t think about doing that until after. I just did a search online to find the one closest to me (if you live in LA, you can use this page to search for them) and saw a few options. And the one that I knew would be easy to get to and have easy parking would be at the library near my house. Besides being near my house, it was right off of the freeway that I would be on to get home. So it was the perfect stop for me on my afternoon.

I know there are still people who will be doing in-person voting, but I think a lot more will be doing voting by mail. And that was clear when I parked at the library to drop my ballot off. There were at least 20 people that I saw while I was there (I did sit in my car for a few minutes to finish a phone call). Everyone was standing back and waiting for others to drop off their ballot to give a little space. And most people were doing some type of ballot selfie or photo when voting, and everyone was patient for that too. I waited until there wasn’t anyone else waiting and then went to take a quick voting photo before putting the ballot in.

I also have signed up for text alerts so I will know that my ballot has been received and counted. I don’t know how often they pick up the ballots from the boxes, but there’s still plenty of time so I know I’ll get those texts soon.

I know I could have spread out these different outings on different days to have more excuses to leave my house, but it just felt right to have a full afternoon. I felt relaxed knowing that I got things done that I needed to do and I felt so happy that I got to have a bit of social time. I am really learning how to appreciate all the little things so much more. 8 months ago, voting and seeing friends would have made me happy but not this happy. Now, doing these things really made my week.

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Default ThumbnailRandom Driving Around LA (or Anything Is Entertainment) Default ThumbnailAnother OTF Hangout (or Having Fun Being Social In Normal Clothes) Default ThumbnailGilmore Girls Time! (or A Fun Afternoon At UCLA) Default ThumbnailDriving To Nowhere (or Just Getting Out Of My House) Default ThumbnailCarmageddon 2 (or I’ll Be The Idiot Driving All Over Town This Weekend) Default ThumbnailDriving Around For No Reason (or Finding Places That Make Me Happy)

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Helping Friends Make Progress (or An Evening Of Feeling Like I Have A Purpose)

Posted on October 16, 2020 | Comments Off on Helping Friends Make Progress (or An Evening Of Feeling Like I Have A Purpose)

There are so many things I’ve learned about myself during this pandemic. One thing I learned was how important having a purpose is to me. I’ve always kind of known this and that’s one thing that pushed me into union service. But now more than ever I understand how having a purpose is something I need. When I don’t have a job and feel like I’m accomplishing things, it’s more obvious than ever when I don’t have a purpose. I feel like I’m just floating along in life and I’m not grounded. So whenever I have a project to do, I go for it because it gives me a purpose and makes me feel so much better.

And sometimes, I get a purpose out of being helpful. And that’s exactly what I got to do this week. Someone that I did improv class with reached out to me on social media. I don’t think we’ve seen each other since finishing the class, but we’ve stayed in touch over social media so we both know what the other is up to. So he knows I’m pretty involved in the union. I don’t think he exactly knew what I do with the union, but since he had a question about the union, he reached out to me.

He is still not in the union yet, but he wanted to make a union project to put online. This is actually one way that someone can become eligible to join the union and is a very common type of project that people do. But he wanted to make sure that he was doing everything correctly so that he can hire union actors and he didn’t want to make mistakes. So he reached out to me for more information.

I’m not an expert in self-producing and haven’t done it much. But I did have a little background information on what he needs to do. I also know people who know a lot more than I do, so I was able to reach out to them to answer his questions and connect them so he can ask them more. It was a very productive conversation with him and I think he feels much better and confident about the project he’s going to do. He’s still in the beginning stages of getting things ready, but that’s exactly when you need to start getting the union paperwork together. So he did it perfectly because he is going to get all the paperwork done with plenty of time before he is planning on filming.

These days, it’s a little more complicated than normal because you have to have more safety protocols in place. But it’s still possible to film. And my friend who knows more about this than I do is going to help him make sure he gets everything that he needs to make it completely compliant with our new protocols. And he does understand why things have to be this way, so he’s very willing to work with the protocols. It’s always good when someone gets why things are the way they are and I’m glad that he’s willing to work with the rules and figure out how to make it work.

The entire call I had with him went so well and I am so excited about the project he’s working on. It sounds like he’s really passionate about self-producing and taking advantage of the free time he has right now. I can’t wait to see what he creates!

And even though this is a little selfish, I’m so glad he asked me for help. It did make me feel like I was useful and it gave me something to do that I could accomplish. He did give me a purpose that day. And I needed that feeling. I’ve totally been feeling lost lately and he helped me focus on something, even if it was only for a short time.

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Default ThumbnailMaking My Acting Bold (or Feeling Great From An Audition) Default ThumbnailFriends Helping Friends (or Not Being Afraid To Ask For Support) Default ThumbnailAn Evening Out With Friends (or An Excuse To Dress Up) Default ThumbnailA Week Of Progress (or Feeling More Like Me) Default ThumbnailFeeling More Progress (or Olympic Workouts) Default ThumbnailFeeling Better About My Progress (or Coming Back From The Dri-Tri)

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Reflecting Back On Last Year’s Convention (or Photos Bring Back So Many Memories)

Posted on October 13, 2020 | Comments Off on Reflecting Back On Last Year’s Convention (or Photos Bring Back So Many Memories)

I know I’ve written before how sometimes I forget that it’s the anniversary of some important moment in my life until social media reminds me of it with an “on this day” post. Sometimes that reminds me of something good and sometimes it reminds me of something not good. But whatever it is, that post or photo brings back a ton of memories. This time, I almost reverse-engineered that idea. I knew something was coming up and I searched for the photos that would show me the date.

One year ago, my grandma passed away. The one year anniversary of her passing was actually this past Sunday. And I knew exactly what date it was because it was the same night as the National Convention Gala. I know I wrote a little about things in both of those posts, but I didn’t tell the full story of what happened and my memories of it.

I had a feeling my grandma was going to pass away during Convention. There was no reason for me to feel that way, but I did. I knew she wasn’t doing well, but her health had been declining for a while. The first time that I really heard that she might not live that much longer had been last September, but there wasn’t a timeline we were all thinking about. We just knew that she was slipping away and we had to be grateful whenever we could see her. I was hoping that she would make it to Thanksgiving so I could see her one more time, but I knew that it might not happen.

The day she passed away, I spent most of my day doing official Convention stuff. We ended around 5 and then I went to my car to get my clothes to change for the Gala. I changed in a room that was set aside for anyone to get ready in and I walked back to my car to put my day clothes and makeup away. And when I was walking back to the hotel to hang out before the Gala started, I saw a text from my dad. It didn’t say much. It was something like “Text me when you are doing at the Convention”. I think my parents thought that I’d be heading home after things were done, not that I had the Gala. But I knew I couldn’t wait until after the Gala was done. So I found a couch in the lobby and called my dad.

I knew it had to be one of two things. Either my grandma died or something happened with my sister-in-law (she was pregnant with my nephew then). But right before I called my dad, my brother and sister-in-law texted me to let me know they were having a boy, so I knew it was about my grandma. My dad and I didn’t say much on that call. He said that she passed away that afternoon. My grandma was in her room taking a nap after lunchtime and she passed away in her sleep. It was peaceful and that’s all we could have hoped for. I don’t think she was in any pain at the end of her life. I don’t know how aware she was of most things. I’m just grateful that she wasn’t hurting.

After the call with my dad, I was pretty hysterical. A friend of mine saw me, asked what happened, and went to find some tissues for me. He sat with me for a while until I calmed down a bit. The entire night kind of went that way. I randomly cried a lot. People found out what happened and tried to comfort me. I know I could have gone home and skipped the Gala, but I knew that my grandma would have wanted me to be there. And I didn’t want to go home and be alone. I wanted to be around my friends, and that’s exactly what happened at the Gala.

It was a weird night for sure. I was grieving but also trying to have fun. I didn’t want to be crying as much as I did, but sometimes it just hit me really hard. But I was always around a friend and whoever I was around made sure I was doing ok. I was seriously so grateful to my friends that night because I’m sure it was a bit weird for them too. But nobody made me feel bad about being upset or when I needed a shoulder to cry on.

That night was a bit of a blur for me. I know it’s because my brain was processing so much and I was also worried about how the rest of my family was doing. But I tried to enjoy things as much as possible. That’s why I don’t have a lot of photos from the Gala. I didn’t do a red carpet photo because I was still crying so much. I don’t have a lot of photos with my friends because I was not thinking about it. I took some photos of the awards during the Gala, but that’s about it. The only photo I have with my friends was a photo that my friends dragged me into. But I’m so glad they did that because it is one happy memory I have of that night.

And my smile in that photo is real. I was having a good time at that moment. And I’m glad I have that moment to remember that night by. Not all my memories are sad ones, even though that photo does remind me of some sad things too. But it also reminds me that I have amazing friends who were there for me and made sure that I was ok and had a good time at such a weird moment.

I remember so many things when looking at that photo. Even though I have a few other photos from that night, that one, in particular, is the one that brings so many memories back. I looked at it again on Sunday and took some time to remember my grandma. It was a bit of a sad day because of everything else going on in the world. But I’m glad that when she passed away, I didn’t have to be alone and I was able to be supported by so many people.

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Default ThumbnailThe Convention Gala (or Casino Night And Awards) Default ThumbnailA Big Loss In My Family (or Saying Goodbye To My Grandma) Default ThumbnailThe Convention Gala (or An Evening Under and With The Stars) Default ThumbnailA Full Convention Weekend (or Preparation Pays Off) Default ThumbnailIt’s Convention Time (or I’ve Been Waiting 2 Years For This!) Default ThumbnailThe Roadrunner (or More Memories In My House)

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Posted in Family, Tough Stuff

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FYC (or A Drive-In TV Screening Night)

Posted on August 20, 2020 | Comments Off on FYC (or A Drive-In TV Screening Night)

I get invited to screenings at different times of the year. Sometimes it’s for the SAG Awards and they are screening movies for us to vote on. Sometimes it’s just for fun and a new show is premiering and they want to get attention for it. And sometimes I get invited to For Your Consideration screenings for things I’m not voting on but they have extra space for others to join in.

There haven’t been a lot of events this year since public events are hard to do. Nobody wants to sit in a movie theater with a lot of strangers, even when wearing a mask. A lot of screenings have been things to watch at home. I have seen a few invites for those, but I don’t always feel sitting at my computer more than I need to. But then, I got an invite for something different.

This was a series of screenings being done as drive-ins on a giant screen. Normally, FYC means For Your Consideration. But at this screening, FYC meant From Your Car. They were doing them at the Rose Bowl and everyone would be staying in their cars. And the screening with space available was for “The World According to Jeff Goldblum”. I don’t know how I haven’t watched that show yet, but I haven’t. So going to a screening of it seemed like an awesome way to watch some episodes!

I didn’t really want to go alone, but it’s also tough to go with someone when you don’t know how isolated they have been lately. But I knew that my friend Dani was taking things as seriously as I was, so I texted her to see if she had been isolating recently and if she was free to go to the screening. And she said yes to both! So we decided to go together and I was so excited! I hadn’t seen Dani since March and I really wanted to hang out with a friend. Even though I saw Joanna just a few days before (from a distance), seeing a friend made me realize how much I wanted to try to find ways to do it again. I’m just so glad I have friends who are being as cautious as I am.

When we arrived at the Rose Bowl, there was a little line to get in. We were there early, so we opened the windows to the car to let some fresh air in (we figured that plus the masks helped to keep us as safe as possible). And when we were let in, we were given a flyer with some information for the night.

And then we saw a line ahead with a step and repeat set up.

But because we all were staying in our cars, I guess it was more like a drive and repeat. One car at a time went onto the carpet and they took a photo of us. And then they texted it to us right after so we could see our official photo!

Some people were taking off masks for the photo, but we didn’t. First, for safety. But also, this is such a specific moment in time and we wanted to have the masks to be able to remember this one day in the future.

We were directed to a parking spot (which was right in the center and near the front) and we were handed a bag and a menu. I thought the bag had our dinner but when I looked at it, it was a snack pack with candy, popcorn, and water!

Then we were served dinner! I knew we would be getting fed at this screening, but I didn’t expect so much food and for it to be so good!

Dani and I both loved the dinner so much! I was amazed by how much we got (my snack pack wasn’t touched and I ate it another day at home). And then we relaxed and waited for the screening to start.

It was so nice to get to hang out with Dani, even if it did feel a bit weird to be in masks. But seeing a friend right now in masks is so much better than waiting until things are safe again. And we did both feel safe with masks and keeping the car windows open. We were closer than 6 feet from each other, but with all the other precautions I felt ok.

Right before the screening started, we noticed that some of the step and repeat photos were going up on the big screen. And then we saw our photo up there!

Once it was dark, the screening started. First was a recorded Q&A with Jeff Goldblum talking about the show and what inspired it. It was fun to see how excited he was about the show and that it was a real passion project of his.

We then watched 2 episodes. The first was an episode all about tattoos. Then it was an episode all about ice cream. And as the ice cream episode started, we noticed staff going from car to car again. Turns out they had ice cream for us! I didn’t get a photo of that since it was dark and I was focused on the show. But it was the perfect treat since it was such a hot night.

And then, the screening ended. There were a lot of exits from the Rose Bowl, so it didn’t take long before we were headed back. And very little traffic so Dani made it to my house really quickly. I was sad our hangout was done, but so grateful to have had a night out with a friend doing something so fun!

Even though I felt relatively safe doing this, I don’t know how often I would do something like it. I do have some friends, like Dani, who I feel like I can trust to be isolating themselves a lot. But this was a treat for me and not something I plan on doing a lot just yet. But it was the best treat to do and it helped me feel like I wasn’t just alone and waiting out this pandemic.

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Default ThumbnailSuch An LA Night (or Just Having Some Fun With A Friend) Default ThumbnailMagic Castle Fun (or Girls Night Out) Default ThumbnailLast Musical Of The Season (or A Classic Pantages Night Out) Default ThumbnailA Virtual Musical Night (or Trying To Replicate My Routine) Default ThumbnailA Night At A Screening (or Forgetting What Non-Screenings Are Like) Default ThumbnailAnother Grove Adventure (or Dinner And Not A Screening)

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Feeling Like I Have Nothing To Say (or I Can’t Let This Isolate Me More)

Posted on July 28, 2020 | Comments Off on Feeling Like I Have Nothing To Say (or I Can’t Let This Isolate Me More)

I’ve written on here about not having much to say. I have worried about running out of ideas for blog posts and if I should take a break. Fortunately, I haven’t run into that problem just yet, but I have come close. There have been plenty of times I have worried about what I would write until the last minute. Or I just write about not having anything to say. My life is pretty boring these days. Some days I work for an hour (although I might be getting a few more hours soon). Some days I exercise. Some days I watch movies on a streaming service. I don’t have much else going on in my life. I don’t think many people who are single and living alone have a lot of other stuff happening, so I know I’m not alone in this.

I really thought running out of things to write on here would be the biggest issue about being bored or not having much going on in my life. I don’t like being bored, but it doesn’t really affect anyone else as long as I’m safe and healthy. But I didn’t think of other things that being bored and having nothing happening could lead to until recently.

We are over 4 months into things and I think some things are only just hitting me now. When the safer at home orders started, I think we all had a few reactions right away. Most of us probably thought this would be over within a month or two. I know I thought that. I was so sure that by the start of summer things would be somewhat normal again. And the other thought a lot of us had was a sense of fear or panic and we were just very worried about what would happen. I had that feeling too. The stress of what would or could happen was a bit overwhelming. Now that things are a bit more routine or normal (or as normal as isolating at home can be), I don’t have that same fear any more. I do still worry about what would happen if I got sick because I do live alone. But that’s also why I am being extra cautious and really don’t leave my house at all.

Now, I have no clue how much longer this safer at home idea will last. If I’m being realistic, I think we will be doing this until there is a vaccine (so until next year at least). I think there is a chance that it will take until next summer for things to be somewhat normal. And while that does suck, sacrificing one year of my life for being alive for hopefully another 50 years is worth it. So I’m just dealing with this and taking things day by day.

I’m not used to physical isolation and I think this will always be a struggle. Humans are not meant to be without any touch. But I have accepted that this is going to be this way for a while. But I have tried to not isolate myself socially. There are so many ways to stay in touch with people while not being with them. I’ve been doing a lot of Zoom hangouts and virtual movie nights. And those help some. Especially the virtual movie nights because that does give me something to talk about. But I’m starting to realize that running out of things to say isn’t just limited to this blog.

In normal times, I either talk on the phone or text with friends and family every day. But now, I’m not doing that too often. I do call my parents whenever I have a specific question about something or have something to update them on. But that’s not as often as I normally talk to them. And when I do have something to update them on (like the union election), they usually will ask me at some point if there is anything else happening. And the answer is pretty much no. I don’t have anything happening. And that’s ok because it’s what is keeping me safe and healthy to the best of my ability. And I know my parents are happy that I’m not going out and doing lots of stuff because they have the same fear as I do about if I got sick while living alone. And the same issue happens with my friends. I usually am trying to plan random outings and now there is nothing happening. I might do a socially distanced hangout at the park in the next week or two, but that’s still up in the air. And it doesn’t take the same type of planning as a Disney day does. So I’m not talking to my friends much right now either. Because how many times can you say “I’m bored doing nothing”?

I know I’ve been doing this for the past few months, but it’s only been hitting me a lot the past few weeks. I have realized how little I’ve reached out to my friends because I don’t have much to say. I feel bad complaining when I know I’m much luckier than some of my friends. And I worry that I will sound so negative and I don’t like being that way. That’s not an excuse to not reach out to people, but it’s the excuse I’ve been making to myself. I don’t know how to fix it, but I need to. Because I can’t isolate myself more and more.

I need to get over my fears of not having anything to say or contribute to a conversation. I need to reach out so I don’t feel more isolated than I do already. It’s not easy, but it’s something that I’m trying to work on now.

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Default ThumbnailBeing Ok With Being Bored (or This Is Harder Than I Thought) Default ThumbnailFeeling Sick Just Isn’t Fun (or I Was Already Doing Nothing) Default ThumbnailCelebrating A Friend’s Birthday (or Not Letting Feeling Gross Stop Me From Being Social) Default ThumbnailFeeling Blindsided (or Being Tricked Into Believing Some People Are Good) Default ThumbnailFeeling Like I Worked Hard (or At Least I’m More Used To This) Default ThumbnailFeeling So Much Love (or Embarrassed By People Complimenting Me)

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Posted in Tough Stuff

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Some Of My Best And Worst Workouts (or A New Type Of Home Workouts)

Posted on July 27, 2020 | Comments Off on Some Of My Best And Worst Workouts (or A New Type Of Home Workouts)

I knew going into this past week of workouts that it might not be a good week for me. I was expecting to have pain and nausea and I never know how it will hit me each month. And this time, it was one of the really bad months. But I also was lucky because it was concentrated within a few days so it wasn’t the entire week that I was miserable.

The worst day for me last week was Monday. I ended up sleeping away a lot of the day because I was feeling so awful. When I woke up that morning, I figured I’d try to do my workout because sometimes that does help a bit. But this time, it just made things worse. There were multiple times that I was worried I would just pass out. I technically made it through about 30 minutes of the workout, but I wasn’t really doing much of it. I didn’t even count it in my workout tracker as a workout because it didn’t feel like I did one.

Wednesday was a bit better, but I was still feeling sick. I did make it through the workout and felt like I did at least a little something. It was far from a good workout for me, but it was not like the attempt I had on Monday. So that made me feel a bit better because I was really down on myself about not being able to do a workout on Monday.

But thank goodness I was feeling better by Friday. I wasn’t completely better, but I was significantly better than how I was for the first half of the week. And it was so important to me to be better for this workout because I was going to have a virtual reunion with some of my workout friends!

One of my coaches at OTF has been doing virtual workout classes over Zoom. My workout friends found a time that we could have a private group class with her and I was so excited to join in. It was different from the official OTF at home workouts since it was a bit customized for us. And the focus was on strength training (not doing any cardio work even though the strength training totally got my heart rate up).

I have needed this workout. Even though I have been very consistent with my home workouts, it’s not like having a coach there. And having this Zoom workout was the hardest and best workout I’ve had in months. I pushed myself so much (although I did have to rest from time to time to let my nausea pass). I don’t think I have had this hard of a workout since my last studio one. Even though it’s still not as good as the studio classes are, it’s significantly better than the videos and it’s much closer to a studio feel.

When the workout was done, I was beyond exhausted. I knew I’d probably be very sore the next day, but I couldn’t stop smiling either. And of course, we had to take a screenshot of the Zoom session as a post-workout photo.

This may end up being a regular Friday thing for my group, so that would be really awesome. I miss my friends so much, and this was a great way to get to see them and feel like I’m not just doing things alone in my house.

Saturday ended up being another great day. I was a bit sore from my hard Friday workout, but nothing too bad. I was able to do the OTF at home video just fine. I do still want to have some new equipment to make those workouts a bit better, but it’s not bad with what I have. And after I completed the video, I got my new jump rope out to do some interval training. I hadn’t done any jump rope work the entire week, mainly due to being nauseous. But I wanted to get at least one session in this week.

I did similar intervals to what I had done before. 15 seconds of jumping with 30 seconds of rest. I don’t know if I’m ready to increase the interval times just yet, so I increased how many rounds I did. Last time, I did 6 rounds. This time, I did 8. And I was able to jump the entire time without tripping for 5 of those 8 rounds. For the 3 that I tripped, I just got right back to it and kept going. I’m still shocked by how quickly I have been able to pick this up. Now I just have to work on my endurance to work on making the intervals a bit longer.

Even though the beginning of last week started off pretty bad, I’m so glad I ended on a good note. I had 2 amazing workouts (and 2 not-so-amazing workouts) and that is always something to be proud of. I just hope that I can continue to have a few amazing workouts this week.

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So Many Virtual Movie Nights (or Thank Goodness For Technology)

Posted on July 9, 2020 | Comments Off on So Many Virtual Movie Nights (or Thank Goodness For Technology)

I’ve been doing movie nights with Netflix Party with friends for a while now. Honestly, this is what is keeping me sane a lot of the time. I have scheduled NP nights with a FB group every Wednesday and Saturday. Knowing I have those in my schedule gives me something to look forward to.

There are so many things I miss while in quarantine. But one big one is having a communal experience with others. There is something about seeing a movie or a play in a theater and knowing everyone else in that room is seeing the same thing that you are. Watching movies alone at home isn’t the same. So when quarantine started and I was watching a lot of movies on streaming programs, that communal experience feeling was what I was lacking. Thank goodness for NP because it has allowed me to feel like I’m experiencing that just a little bit.

Some of the other streaming services have been setting up their versions of Netflix Party, but so far I haven’t been able to use them. Some of them are only available to subscribers at a specific level and some of them are dealing with too many glitches. We had issues with the glitch problem this past Friday. My regular NP group decided to do a bonus night and watch “Hamilton” together. We wanted to test out the Disney+ Party app, but it was down because so many people were watching at the same time.

So what we decided to do was all get our TVs set and ready to go, and I did a group FB call to everyone to count down when we would start. And we had a specific FB chat group to talk to each other while watching. In some ways, it was nicer because I could watch on my TV instead of my computer. But it’s also nice watching on my computer with NP because the chat is right next to the movie and I don’t have to keep looking down at my phone. But I’m so glad that we decided to watch it together because it made the night so much more fun!

The group was almost equally split between those of us who had seen the show in person and those who had not. I should have seen it a second time by now, but then again if quarantine hadn’t happened I doubt the movie would have been available since it was supposed to come out in theaters next year. But I think I would have enjoyed it just as much if not more if I hadn’t seen it.

It’s rare to see a good movie version of a stage musical. But this does it almost perfectly. I loved seeing the closeups that I never could experience seeing the show live. I love how they do show the full stage and it doesn’t feel like they turned the show into a movie. It just feels like a wonderful and special experience of seeing the stage show.

This was something special to get to watch with friends virtually and I’m glad we could set it up. We probably won’t be doing movie nights with streaming services besides Netflix for now because of the simplicity of the app, but I do hope the other apps fix their glitches and open up to all subscribers so we can expand what we watch.

And besides expanding what we what, I have been expanding who I have been watching movies with. For the most part, it has been the same group that I watch together on Wednesday and Saturday (I call the group the Movie Club). And I do love watching movies with them. Occasionally, I have set up a Netflix Party night with other groups of friends for a one-off movie night. Nothing that is a regular schedule like the Movie Club, but it is nice to get to watch with others.

But this week, I also had my first virtual date using Netflix Party. It was with a guy that I matched with almost a month ago. We have been texting every day and having phone calls a few times a week. We haven’t been able to meet yet (which is so weird to me), but hopefully, we can find a way to safely do it soon. But we wanted to do something different than just talking on the phone so I suggested a movie night on NP. We ended up watching 2 movies (we each picked one) and it was really fun. It was very different from when I have a big group watching, but it was nice and again made it feel like we were having a communal experience. I have a feeling I will have another virtual movie night with him soon.

So many people have said how much harder being isolated would be without technology. And I completely agree. And it’s not just the normal technology like social media and texting keeping me ok. It’s all the new technology things like Netflix Party that helps to bring a sense of normalcy to this very abnormal life. I bet that there will be more apps like this that will help bring people together coming since there is a huge demand for them right now. But I hope they continue because I have enjoyed finding ways to stay connected with friends and family that don’t live near me. I’ve been able to get closer to people while staying away from so many. It’s such a wonderfully weird time we live in.

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Another Virtual Friend Hangout (or Trying Not To Miss A Summer Tradition Too Much)

Posted on July 8, 2020 | Comments Off on Another Virtual Friend Hangout (or Trying Not To Miss A Summer Tradition Too Much)

I remember before this year started, people were so excited when they saw that the 4th of July would be on a Saturday. I was excited too because I knew that meant I wouldn’t have an early morning the next morning. I love the 4th of July BBQs that I go to that Chris and Marie host.

When the pandemic started, I don’t think any of us expected it to last this long. When Memorial Day happened and we had a virtual hangout, I think we all assumed we would be together again soon. Even some of the reports were saying that LA might be able to reopen by the 4th of July. I knew that just because things could reopen didn’t mean that having a party would be safe. But I was using the date as a goal for the future and hoping that things would be starting to get back to how they were before by then.

But that didn’t happen. Cases are growing. We are lucky the death rate isn’t rising at the same speed, but that doesn’t mean things aren’t dangerous. We have no clue what the long-term health effects will be on someone who had COVID. I know people are tired of being home and want to go out and be social, but we just can’t do that now if we want this to be over soon. If more people stayed home and wore masks when they went out, we would be in a better position right now. But because of the actions of others, we cannot have things open and we need to stay home and away from others.

So as much as my friend group wanted to see each other for the 4th of July, it wasn’t possible. None of us wanted to risk the health of others by having a party. Plus, gatherings weren’t really allowed. But since we had already done one virtual holiday hangout, we were prepared to do another one. And that’s exactly what we did.

I wasn’t able to stay on our Zoom hangout as long as I would have liked to, but I was able to be on there for a while and see a lot of my friends. Everyone was so happy to see each other and we were all saying how much we missed being together in person. Some people had some really fun and creative Zoom backgrounds (even background videos) and that made us all laugh. Most of the conversation was just catching up with each other and making sure we are all doing ok. It wasn’t that different from how we spend parties catching up in person, but it felt extra nice to have people checking in on me and making sure everything was going ok.

Many of us live alone, so having some social interaction was really needed. I know I needed it. I still have some days where isolation is a huge struggle for me. I feel like I’m on my own little planet and there is nobody else out there that understands what I’m feeling. I know that isn’t true, but it’s hard to not feel that way. But I have noticed being more open about my struggle has helped as other friends have said they feel the same. Even though we all feel like we are on our own planets, at least we are starting to feel like we aren’t the only one out there feeling like that.

Because of something else I had scheduled on the 4th, I was only able to stay on Zoom for about an hour. But honestly, that hour meant so much to me. I needed that time with my friends. I needed that sense of almost normalcy. I needed to have more than just text messages or social media. I know that I could use some face to face time with friends more, but that’s not an option yet. I have to take what I can, and I need to take advantage of the moments I can get with friends. I felt so much better after just that hour and felt like I could handle things for a bit longer.

The next party that we would all be having together would be Labor Day, but I don’t think any of us are expecting to be able to be together then. It would be amazing if we could, but I think we are all hoping to be together again for Halloween. And we all know the costumes will probably be some of the best yet because it would be our big reunion as a group. I am trying to stay hopeful that by October we can safely be together. But if we can’t I guess we can do a Zoom Halloween party and share our costumes over video.

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Friends Are The Best Mood Booster (or The Difference A Day Makes)

Posted on June 19, 2020 | Comments Off on Friends Are The Best Mood Booster (or The Difference A Day Makes)

My post yesterday was definitely a bit of a downer. As I said, I usually have good days but I have had some bad days too. I heard something on a podcast about how most people are experiencing some signs of depression these days, and I don’t doubt it. I think a lot of my exhaustion is related to dealing with a bit of depression. It’s not bad enough that I am worried about my health or safety and my therapist has said that she doesn’t think I need to be on medication for it as this is not my usual mindset. But it’s something to be aware of.

And part of being aware of it is working on coming out of the funk. Usually, that’s more in my control because I have options of what I can do. But now, I really don’t have the opportunity to go out and feel better. And I can’t really go out to see my friends.

But just because I can’t go out to see my friends, I can still be social with my friends. It’s just in a different way. I have been doing Zoom hangouts, but those can be overwhelming and there is such a thing as Zoom Fatigue (which is the idea of having so much anxiety because you don’t know if someone is watching you or not). So I’ve been trying to have more phone calls (without a video element) with my friends.

When I was growing up, I spent a lot of time on the phone with friends. We did have internet and AOL messenger was a big deal, but I spent way more time on the phone than I did online. I had my own phone line during high school, so I was able to be on the phone without kicking other people in my family off the phone (or off the internet since AOL went through the phone line). I’m sure I did some phone calls in college too, but I know I was doing a lot more texting then. And now, I rarely make phone calls. I call family, but I text a lot more often. And there are lots of friends that I almost never call but wouldn’t think twice about texting.

But texting isn’t enough for me right now, so I’ve been doing a lot more phone time. Even if I’m talking to a friend and just venting and ranting to them, it really helps. Of course, I am happy to do the same for any of my friends and I have been the sounding board for many of them. We all need to be heard these days and I’m so glad I can be there for my friends when they need it and that they are there for me.

I’ve had a lot of phone calls recently with my friends. Some of them are not totally social calls, but we still get some friendly chatting in while doing work too. I’ve been busy getting things organized with the livestreams I have been doing for my slate lately, and my co-creator is my friend Amir. So when we have to be on the phone together dozens of times a day (or for a long hour or two calls), even though we are working for a lot of it, we do get silly too. I’ve had a few other work and union-related calls that turn into silliness, which helps to break up my day.

And even though these are technically just texting or messaging, having regular Netflix Parties with friends helps too. I think it’s the idea of having a communal experience with others. I know that those friends in the party with me are watching the same thing at the same time as I am. We do message about things about the movie or tv show we are watching (like when something crazy happens or when we love an outfit), but a lot of what we talk about in Netflix Party has nothing to do with what we are watching. We talk about stuff happening in our lives and if someone is struggling we are there to support them. It’s crazy how much support I get out of the group because technically I’ve never met any of the friends who are in it with me. We are all just in a Facebook group together. We have created a bond in that group and the smaller group that does the Netflix Party has an even stronger bond. I know if I needed something that I could reach out to any of them and they would be there for me.

I’ve also had some phone call dates recently. While those don’t help me as much as calls with my friends all the time because sometimes the guys I’m talking to aren’t the best, it’s something. And I’m not staying on bad calls or on calls with guys I don’t see myself dating just to be on the phone. If I’m spending time on the phone with someone, it’s because I want to talk to them. And I do hope that in the future those calls turn into real dates (socially distanced or not). But I am aware that some people are just looking to talk to someone and it might not go the way I would hope it would go. But when I’ve been messaging with guys before when I could go out on dates, I would have the same issue. So finding people who have no intentions beyond virtual hangouts isn’t a new issue.

It’s not always easy to plan or schedule calls for when I’m in a bad mood. And I can’t exactly plan when those bad moods will happen so I can’t figure things out ahead of time. And when I’m in a funk, I don’t always reach out to others. I know that I need to, but it’s not easy. I am lucky that I have people in my life that reach out to me just to check-in, so that is good. And if I try to have a somewhat regular schedule of when I talk to people, hopefully that helps to keep my mood a bit better and more even. And there is a chance that by the time I figure out how to do all this that things will be normal again and I won’t need to worry about it as much. But it’s always good to have a plan in your life when you aren’t doing so great.

Even though I really don’t have many plans for the weekend, I am looking forward to it and seeing what I am able to get done. I don’t have any crazy projects that I’m working on, but I’m sure I’ll find something to do and I’ll hopefully be a bit busy. And I know I have a Netflix Party on Saturday and that is always a highlight of my weekend.

I hope that all of you are doing ok. This is not an easy time for anyone. I know it’s not easy to reach out if you are struggling, but if you can please do so. People are more than willing to help and listen. And just having a friend there for you can make such a difference.

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