Tag Archives: friends

A Santa Barbara Friend Hangout (or Meeting Another Baby)

Posted on April 7, 2021 | Comments Off on A Santa Barbara Friend Hangout (or Meeting Another Baby)

The main reason I went up to Santa Barbara this past Saturday was for family stuff. And that’s usually the reason I go up there. Over the past year, I’ve gotten used to driving up to Santa Barbara for the day and heading back home the same day. It’s not too long of a drive, and it’s shorter than the times I drove to San Diego just for the day. It’s pretty easy for me to do and I usually have a lot of podcasts saved up for my drive. But this Saturday, I had something else to do before I drove home.

My friend Rayshell has had a lot of changes over the past year. She and her husband bought their first place and they had a baby! And because of the pandemic, I haven’t had the chance to see her for a long time. Her new place is on the way to or from Santa Barbara, so we made plans that I would see her either that morning or evening. But then, Rayshell realized that she would be at her parents’ house in Santa Barbara the same day and asked if I wanted to come to hang out in the backyard with her. Of course I said yes!

Her parents’ house was only about a mile away from the rental house my parents were staying at, so it was really easy to get there after I was done with family time. And even though I was pretty much considered fully vaccinated, we still took precautions while hanging out. We stayed outdoors the entire time and I was sitting a little further away (it was easily more than 6 feet away). Even though we’ve been doing all this for a year, it is still weird not being able to hug a friend and have to sit further from them than I’m used to. But at the same time, I’m so grateful I have the opportunity at all to see friends! And especially getting to see Rayshell and her baby (and her husband and parents who were hanging out with us too)!

And it was such a great time! Of course, we had a lot of our usual catchup chat like we always did at our happy hour hangouts. But we both had so much to update each other on. I loved hearing all about her baby, and he was so smiley and adorable the entire time I was there. He was not shy even though he had never met me before. He was a little social butterfly and one of the happiest babies I’ve ever met. I wasn’t able to hold him, but just getting to see him always smiling at me made me so happy. And it was amazing seeing Rayshell as a mom. I knew she’d be an awesome mom, and seeing her with her son proved me right. She looked like a natural!

And Rayshell also updated me about her new place. They haven’t really been able to have anyone over since they bought it right before the pandemic hit, but I hope that I’ll get a chance to see it soon. It sounds like an awesome place for them, even if they moved a little further from me and I wish that she lived closer.

And Rayshell asked me about what’s been happening in my life. I filled her in about what’s going on with work and what has been happening with my family. And she wanted to hear if I had any crazy dating stories, and I did! I have written on here how I haven’t dated that much over the past year, but I have a little bit and I had plenty of stories even about guys that I never ended up meeting. And at least, for the most part, the stories are so ridiculous so even I have to laugh while telling them.

I was able to hang out with Rayshell for almost 2 hours before she needed to start doing her evening routine with her son. And I knew I needed to start heading back home too. I wish we could have hung out longer, but considering that we hadn’t seen each other in over a year, any time I could get was amazing. I’ve said this a lot before, but this past year has made me so grateful for any time I get to spend with the people I care about. And it has shown me how strong some of my friendships are when we can just pick things back up even if it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.

Hopefully, I will be able to see Rayshell and her baby again soon. I know that it seems like things are getting better, so I’m optimistic about it. I’m still being very careful with what things I take chances on, but being outdoors with social distancing seems pretty safe. And I’m glad that it is finally safe enough for these things to start happening again without anyone having to worry too much about getting sick. And as long as we all continue to be safe and not take too many chances, it won’t be long before we don’t have to worry about any of this.

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Another Drive-In Adventure (or A Bonus Birthday Twin Hangout)

Posted on March 25, 2021 | Comments Off on Another Drive-In Adventure (or A Bonus Birthday Twin Hangout)

Before this past year, I don’t know if I’ve ever been to a drive-in event or movie. It just wasn’t something I heard about a lot and I figured if I wanted to see a movie I’d rather see it in a theater. But since the pandemic, it seems like there are more and more drive-in things to do. Some new drive-in theaters have opened and there are other types of drive-in events like the For Your Consideration screening I went to over the summer.

I’ve been saying I should go to more drive-in events, but I just haven’t really been doing it. There are only a few people I trust to be in a car with right now and I don’t want to spend money if I don’t have to. But as I’ve written about more and more recently, I need to have more fun in my life. I just haven’t been great about doing it and figuring out what to do.

But earlier this year, my friend Dani found a drive-in drag queen show with some of the contestants from RuPaul’s Drag Race and asked if I was interested in going. It sounded awesome so we got tickets for it. The tickets were per car, but you were limited to only 2 people in the car, so it was just going to be us. Then Dani had a conflict and no longer could go, so she gave me the tickets and I decided to ask my birthday twin, Joanna, if she wanted to join me.

Normally, Joanna and I have 2 regular hangouts a year. Once for our birthday when we go to Truxtons and once around the New Year when we go to Cheesecake Factory. We had both of those hangouts in the past year. Truxtons was a picnic outside and Cheesecake Factory was with each of us at our own homes and having dinner over Zoom. And while we’d both love to hang out more than just twice a year, with both of us having crazy schedules it doesn’t always happen. So when she said she’d love to come with me to the show, I was so excited!

This show was at the Rose Bowl, where the other drive-in event I went to was. But it was held in a field and not in the parking lot. Things were a little disorganized trying to get in there. We were following a line of cars, but we didn’t realize that the line we were following was the second part of the check-in. There wasn’t a sign for the first part, but the security officers there told us where to go. And once we got to the correct area, the check-in was pretty easy and moved quickly. We were given information for the food trucks that were there, but Joanna and I brought a ton of snacks with us so we were good with food.

And while I’d love to give this show a great review, there were some issues we encountered while we were there. We were directed to a parking spot which was right in the center of the field. But we were several rows back and because I have a shorter car there was no way for us to see the stage.

They had a few screens on the sides to see what was on stage, but they were off on the sides so for us to look at them we had to sit almost sideways in our seats. There were also screens much further up, so I tried to look at those more often so my neck could have a break. But the screens near us were pretty tough to see.

But Joanna and I didn’t let that get to us too much. Even though we would have loved to have been able to see the show better, we both had a great time because we were able to hang out together! Also, the screens had speakers that played the music, so we didn’t have to use the radio in my car to hear what’s going on. So we were able to listen to the show but also be able to chat and catch up.

And the performances were good. Like I said, we wished we could have seen things better, but we still enjoyed it. And we were having so much fun being out and doing something. Both of us are so careful with what we do these days and not really going out and doing much. So this show was a great change from what we’ve been doing for the past year. And any fun things we can do these days are really appreciated!

The show was about 90 minutes long and I will say that the location where we were parked did allow us to have an easier time leaving than other people did, so that was a bonus. And we continued to catch up on the drive home. It was honestly a hangout that I really needed. Even though we did our cheesecake dinner over Zoom, it wasn’t the same as being together in person. So this show was the missing element from earlier this year.

Hopefully, it won’t be that much longer before we can hang out and not have to think about how careful we are being. I think that it’s a safe guess that we will be able to feel that way by the time we have our birthday dinner in August. Of course, we’ve all seen this past year how quickly things can change. But right now, it seems like things are finally changing for the better and I want to think it will stay that way from now on.

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Scheduling And Joy (or Continuing To Plan For When Things Are Coming Back)

Posted on March 2, 2021 | Comments Off on Scheduling And Joy (or Continuing To Plan For When Things Are Coming Back)

Last month, my monthly challenge was to work on writing a schedule for each day so I wouldn’t forget to do things I need to do. It’s been a rough adjustment from being out of work to being back to a full day most days. And even though I didn’t have a ton of stuff to do outside of working and my workouts each day, I was still noticing where my days were being wasted doing things I didn’t need to do and where I was forgetting to do things I wanted to get done. So creating a schedule for each day seemed to be a good challenge.

I had an old notepad that was designed for doing daily schedules on, so that’s what I used. It had a few sections on the page that I didn’t really need or wanted to use, but it was easy enough to use it. And for the most part, it worked. I started off strong with doing the schedule every day. Then I realized I only felt like I needed it when I had other things to do in my day. If I just had my work and workout and nothing else to do, then I didn’t do them. But when I had work meetings, things to make sure I was watching, or other tasks like doing my taxes; then it was perfect.

And I think that’s exactly how I want to keep using this idea. I don’t always have to create a daily schedule (although I am getting better at setting alerts for things that go into my calendar app so that’s helpful). But when I have something different or extra in my day, this is the best way to make sure I get it done. Even if I just make a to-do list with tasks, that’s helping me to remember to do things. And I know that as my schedule starts to fill up in the future, doing this is going to help keep me on track and not let things slip my mind.

And connected to the idea of my schedule filling up, I want my monthly challenge this month to be about finding more joy in my life. I’m still pretty isolated and lonely, but last month ended up being my most social month in almost a year. My parents were here for the day. I got to spend time with a friend (who is being as safe and isolated as I am). I did a few other fun things that I haven’t written about just yet. I felt like I was starting to have a life again. And even though I have known how badly I needed this, I don’t think it really hit me until I allowed myself to have more joy in my life again.

It’s still going to be hard to find ways to do this. I have very few friends that I could see in person right now because many of them have jobs that require them to be around a lot of people. Or they have someone in their household who is extremely high risk and they can’t risk seeing anyone. I am not going to take too many risks these days because I know we are getting so much closer to the end of the pandemic. I don’t want to slip and then get sick. People are still getting sick and dying every day. But at the same time, I have seen how much better I feel when I have things that feel much more like my old life back.

I’m going to look into more online events that my friends and I can all watch together. I might look into outdoor things too, but that might be a bit more of a risk than I want to do just yet. I have been wanting to do this for a long time, but this is the first time I have this push after experiencing a small bit of my old social life back again. And I think knowing what I’m missing and not being so separate from it is going to help motivate me to try harder.

I do still want to be hopeful that it won’t be that much longer before things are safer and I won’t have to work as hard to find ways to have joy, but I’m not going to depend on that hope. I’ve done that for almost a year now and I know that for my mental health, I can’t keep putting it off any longer.

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Galentine’s Day and Valentine’s Day (or Not Feeling As Alone As I’ve Been)

Posted on February 18, 2021 | Comments Off on Galentine’s Day and Valentine’s Day (or Not Feeling As Alone As I’ve Been)

I’ve never been a big Valentine’s Day person. I’m assuming this is because I have almost never had a date on Valentine’s Day. The only date I can remember in my recent past on February 14th was a date with a guy that I had gone out with once or twice and we honestly didn’t realize it was on Valentine’s Day until we were trying to figure out what to do. I don’t think that really counts since it was a date that happened to be on Valentine’s Day, not a date for Valentine’s Day.

It was pretty safe for me to guess that I’d be single (and alone) for Valentine’s Day this year. I mean, as much as I’ve tried to date recently, it’s not easy to date during a pandemic. And I know I haven’t been putting as much effort into dating as I have in the past because of how tough it is. I’m still making an effort, but I know it’s not close to what I was doing when I was able to easily go out and meet the guys that I was matching with.

But I do still try to celebrate love in my life even if I don’t have romantic love right now. And I feel like I did a great job doing that this year and might have done better than I have in the past because I wasn’t thinking I might go out and do something with a guy for Valentine’s Day. I knew I’d be home so I was able to have plans in place to celebrate with friends.

Almost all of my plans happened to be on the 13th, also known as Galentine’s Day. It was just a coincidence that it happened that way, but it also was perfect that it was like that.

The first thing I had planned was my regular movie night using Netflix Party with my friends from a Facebook group. We are still watching a tv show on Wednesdays and 2 movies on Saturdays. And right now, we are working through all of the Marvel movies in timeline order. It’s been really fun to rewatch these movies and I’ve been finding myself enjoying them much more than I did in the past! Having these movie days has been such a bright spot in my life in this past year when things have been so tough. And to have one of our nights be on Galentine’s Day was nice because we all were spending the night together (but apart).

And once my movie night was done, I had a bonus friend hangout! My friend Dani (who is also taking a ton of safety and health precautions right now) was free and asked me if I wanted to hang out that evening. There was nothing we were trying to do, we just wanted to have some friend time. I’m so used to seeing her all the time between going to Disneyland and going to shows. And while we have seen each other once or twice in the past year, it’s nothing like we normally do. So we had a fun hangout night at my place!

Even though we are both taking so many precautions, we were still careful hanging out together. We tried to stay at least 6 feet apart from each other while we were inside my house. We had said we could have fun candies and snacks while hanging out, but we didn’t end up eating anything so there were no bags of treats we were both touching. If we wanted to show the other something on our phones, we held the phone to the other person instead of handing it to them. It was weird to feel distant while a friend was over, but I also know it was the only way we could really do that and not take too many risks.

And I really needed this hangout. I know I had only seen my parents a few days before, but I’ve been lacking so much social interaction that I’m craving it so much. I need to be around others and not feel like I’m alone in my house and everyone is so far away from me. I know that I can’t do things like this too often and every time I see someone in person I’m taking a big risk. And I thought about the risk and accepted it so I could do this. I’m still not going to take that many risks and I won’t be seeing other people, but I’m glad I go to do this.

Even with being single and so alone right now, it’s nice to know that I didn’t have to be so alone while many others were celebrating love. I got to celebrate it too but in my own way.

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A Virtual Cheesecake Dinner (or Not Letting Anything Stop A Tradition)

Posted on January 14, 2021 | Comments Off on A Virtual Cheesecake Dinner (or Not Letting Anything Stop A Tradition)

As I’ve written about for several years, I have 2 traditions with my friend and birthday twin, Joanna. The first is our birthday dinner at Truxton’s. And the second is our cheesecake dinner around the new year. We turned our birthday dinner into a picnic, but we still got food from Truxton’s. While it didn’t feel exactly the same as what we normally do for our birthday, it was still fitting into our tradition and it made me happy.

When we were together for our birthday, I think we both thought by now things would be a bit more normal. So we assumed we would be having our cheesecake dinner the way that we are used to doing it. But as we all know, we are still very far from normal and it’s even more dangerous to be out with others now. We had decided to order from Cheesecake Factory to have our dinner, but we decided to not have a picnic. It was just safer for us both to be eating at our own homes. But we could still video chat so we could be together.

So we set it up so our food should arrive around the same time. It didn’t quite work out like that, but it wasn’t too bad. My food was to me sooner than Joanna’s food, but I ordered a salad so it was ok to wait a bit. And her food arrived at her house soon after.

It was a little weird to be eating on Zoom, but we both found it easier if we turned off the self-view on our screens. I don’t think I could have eaten while watching myself eat. I knew that Joanna could still see me eat, but somehow that’s different. We both also tried to do a little bit of nicer lighting so we could see each other, but it was nice to be a bit more casual than we normally are when we go out to dinner (for example, neither of us dressed up).

And while it wasn’t the same as being at dinner together, I’m so glad we did it. It was so nice to get to see Joanna and catch up like we normally do. And even though it was a bit odd to eat while on camera, it’s been a while since I’ve had a meal with someone else. So even virtually eating with someone so I wasn’t alone was nice and felt like I wasn’t as alone as I am.

Our conversation was like it always is. We both had a lot of random stuff to catch up on with our lives. And I love getting to catch up and hear all the crazy stories she has and I’m sure she loves my crazy stories too. And because we weren’t at a restaurant and felt like they needed our table or something, our virtual dinner was much longer than our dinners normally are! We were on Zoom together for over 3 hours! But I think we both needed the social time and I’m glad that neither of us needed to rush to something else.

Normally, I take a photo of our cheesecakes because we split cheesecake. We order 2 different slices and have them cut each slice in half so we each get half of each type. But that wasn’t possible for our virtual dinner. We both joked that we should order 2 slices to make it almost the same, but neither of us did (we didn’t need to spend the money or eat 2 pieces of cheesecake). We didn’t discuss our cheesecake choices before we ordered, but we both ended up getting tiramisu cheesecake. And we took a photo over Zoom to be our photo for the dinner.

Even though having a virtual dinner is better than skipping our dinner (we never would have skipped our tradition!), I still wish we could have had dinner together. We both are trying to be hopeful that by our birthday, we will be able to be having a meal in the same place. I don’t know if restaurants will be open (and safe) by then, but at least feeling safe going for a picnic with our food or maybe eating at my house. Just something so we can be in the same space.

But even if we have to do another virtual dinner together, I know we will not let anything stop us from our traditions and this proved that we are both as dedicated to make them happen as possible!

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Making The Month A Little Less Lonely (or Still Trying To Find Challenges To Do While Isolated)

Posted on January 6, 2021 | Comments Off on Making The Month A Little Less Lonely (or Still Trying To Find Challenges To Do While Isolated)

I got another Volt Planner for 2021, so I’ll be doing another year full of goal setting! I love using this planner for setting weekly, monthly, and annual goals as well as monthly challenges. I also use it to track my daily intentions and my gratitude list. It is a planner so I can track other things, but that’s what I mainly use it for. When I was able to work out at the Orangetheory studios, I would also use it for some workout tracking. But since I’ve been working out at home, I don’t really do that.

It really is the perfect planner for me and I’ve been using them for several years now. I keep all my old planners because it’s interesting to see what I’ve accomplished and how far I’ve come. My collection is pretty decent so far.

My monthly challenges used to be much more excited. But since we’ve had to isolate at home, they are not as grand and much more personal. For December, my challenge was to get myself ready for 2021. And I did a fair amount of preparation with things I wanted to do like getting different parts of my house organized. But the plan to prep was sidetracked a bit by getting a new job. I think that’s a very good excuse to be sidetracked. And in a way, getting a new job was preparing me for this year. I needed a new job so I wouldn’t be struggling as much. But there was some other stuff I wanted to do that I didn’t get a chance to, like doing some rearranging of things in my kitchen. But nothing I didn’t do was urgent so I can get them done this month.

And for this month’s challenge, I was a bit inspired by the idea of how we’ve all been isolated for so long. And being isolated at home doesn’t have to mean being completely isolated from the people you love. I know that I have been isolating myself more than I’d like to, but it’s what happened to me when I was feeling low. It’s so much easier for me to ask a friend to get dinner or hang out if I’m lonely compared to asking if we could have some sort of virtual hangout. But virtual hangouts are really all we can do (with few exceptions).

So my challenge for this month is to not isolate myself from my friends completely and to make sure that I connect with someone that I care about every day. This means I can’t go run an errand like go get groceries and count seeing people in the store or talking to the cashier as a connection. This has to be with a friend or family member.

And I know there are different levels of being able to connect with someone. Right now, the thing that would make me happiest is seeing someone in person (outdoors and keeping a distance between us). This isn’t the easiest thing to do, and also not necessarily the safest for now. If I can make this happen, awesome. But I also understand that for now, I might not be able to do this at all this month. But it’s something to hope for. Next, would be doing a video call. These are totally safe, but so many people have Zoom/video chat fatigue. I get that. Then I would put phone calls next on my list and texts/message groups last.

My goal is to not just do texts every day with friends, but I know that there will be days where texts are the best I can do. I hopefully can have more phone and video calls with friends and family this month and continue that beyond this month until we can all safely meet in person.

I’ve been isolated at home for almost 10 months now, and it’s really getting to me. It’s easy to avoid people, but I know that it’s not the best thing for me to do. So hopefully this challenge this month will get me back to being more social in whatever ways I can and I can feel much better about the current situation. I need to figure out how to be happier while I wait for things to be safer. And I know having time with friends and family will help do that.

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And Another Virtual Party (or A Secret Santa Hangout)

Posted on December 23, 2020 | Comments Off on And Another Virtual Party (or A Secret Santa Hangout)

In past years, this was the time that it seemed like there were dozens of holiday parties to go to. This year, this is the time that there are dozens of virtual parties to go to. The benefit of virtual parties is that you don’t have to worry about driving from one location to another. You might get tired of sitting at your computer, but you can party hop a lot easier when they are virtual. I’ve been pretty lucky with the timing of virtual parties and they haven’t really been overlapping, but it has been keeping me busy.

In the past week, I think I’ve had 4 virtual parties. That’s not a ton, but it’s been more virtual hangout time than I normally do. But they have all been really fun parties. And one of them was a gift-opening party for one of my Secret Santa groups.

Not everyone who participated in our Secret Santa exchange was on our Zoom hangout, but we had a good-sized group. And most of the time we were on Zoom, we weren’t doing any Secret Santa stuff. We were being silly, sharing stories, and just having a nice time being social. This group is a Facebook group that I only know virtually. We’ve had other Zoom hangouts, but we’ve never met in person. And some of the people who were at the Secret Santa party were new to a Zoom hangout. It was so nice to be able to put voices to the profiles I’ve seen online.

I was a little late to this hangout because of work, but I only missed a little bit. But it was really nice to have it after work because it broke up my day. Even though I was still at my computer, it felt like a clear end time to work and start time for having fun. That’s something I’ve been missing a lot since the pandemic started. I used to try to run errands or something after work to have a clean break from work time. Now, I know I could go for a walk or something but I really don’t have a lot of opportunities to do much else.

It was so nice to have a nice just being social and having fun. And of course, we opened our presents while we were together on Zoom. The person I bought gifts for was on the Zoom, so I was able to see how happy she was with what I got her (I got her something she specifically said she wanted plus a few other things that I thought she might like). She seemed very excited to get the thing she asked for, and that made me really happy too.

My Secret Santa was not on the Zoom hangout, but I understood that not everyone could be there. But she got me some really amazing things! I got a candle that has my favorite scents, some nice hand cream, face masks, and chocolate!

I loved it! Nothing was extravagant, but they felt like special things since they weren’t things I usually buy for myself. And any presents I get from someone always feels special. Even though my Secret Santa doesn’t know me in real life, she picked out some really great things for me and I could tell that she paid attention to the forms we filled out with what we like.

Our virtual hangout ended up lasting several hours because we were all just enjoying talking to each other. I know we should try to do them more often, but it’s tough. We all have different schedules and I know many of us have Zoom fatigue. But this was such a nice time and so relaxing compared to many other things we all have to do on Zoom these days. We’ve all joked that when the pandemic is done, we will have to travel somewhere to all meet in real life. But for now, meeting up virtually is what we can do. And if I’m being honest, if we weren’t in a pandemic, I don’t think we would have done this. So making a lot of new friends is one good thing to come out of this really hard year.

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Default ThumbnailAnother Virtual Friend Hangout (or Trying Not To Miss A Summer Tradition Too Much) Default ThumbnailStill Celebrating Halloween (or A Virtual Costume To Go With A Virtual Party) Default ThumbnailVirtual Memorial Day (or Doing The Best We Can For Now) Default ThumbnailVirtual Pumpkin Party (or Time To Be Crafty) Default ThumbnailHaving Fun Doing Gift Shopping (or Keeping Secret Santa To My Budget) Default ThumbnailA Virtual Holiday Party (or Missing My Union So Much)

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Another Job Through A Friend (or Excited To Do Job Training)

Posted on December 9, 2020 | Comments Off on Another Job Through A Friend (or Excited To Do Job Training)

My job situation has been not great since March. Even though I was still working my customer service job a bit from March until the beginning of August, I was only working limited hours. There was a point where I was only checking the voicemails and not doing much else with work. And since August, I’ve only been working my data entry job and that is already limited hours.

In normal times, job hunting is tough. Especially for me with trying to find a remote job. But job hunting during a pandemic is another thing. In one sense, almost all jobs are remote so that helps me a bit. But so many people are out of work so it’s been hard to even get to a job interview. I’ve been spending time every day looking for jobs and applying, with no luck. But then recently, a friend let me know about a job opening at their company.

They work for a social media management company and there was a position open to help with customer engagement. It was only about 1 hour a day, but any work right now is really good. So I sent in my resume and had a phone interview with the owner of the company. I’ve actually met the owner before through my friend, so the interview was pretty casual. I felt pretty good that I would be offered the job because of my background in other social media work. But in my phone interview, the owner and I started talking about my job situation and I mentioned how I was pretty much out of work. The owner had mentioned there might be an opening in their customer care department and I shared some of my stories from my job. He asked if I’d be interested in interviewing for the other position as well, and I said yes.

Last week, I had a Zoom interview for the customer care job. I made sure I was sitting in the spot in my house with the best lighting and I propped up my laptop so that it would be a better angle. I don’t have a stand or anything for my laptop, so I just stacked some books and mail and it worked.

The interview was with their customer care manager and my friend, so it ended up being pretty casual. But I felt really good about things after it and just hoped for the best. And on Monday, I found out I got the customer care job!

Between the 2 jobs, it will still be part-time work, but that’s ok with me. I still have my data entry job and there might be more hours for me in the future. I also still hope that I will be back to my other customer service job once theater shows are safer to go to. But for now, going from pretty much out of work to having a regular part-time job is amazing!

This week I’ll be doing training every day and I’m not sure when I’ll officially be starting with my hours. But I’m not worried about that. I’m just excited that I have a new job since this is something I’ve been working on for a while. And like all the other jobs I’ve had recently, this is another job through a friend. I don’t know why it’s ended up that way, but it is true that you have a better chance of getting a job. And I’ve been lucky that my friends have been referring me to jobs that are perfect for me.

Having a new job is a great way to end this year and start next year. I hope that is a sign of other positive things to come my way! And I’m so happy that not only do I have a new job (which I needed), but it’s a new job I’m excited about. That makes things even better.

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Default ThumbnailAnother Time A Friend Found Me A Job (or It Really Is About Who Knows You) Default ThumbnailInterview Time! (or Maybe I Can Find Another Perfect Day Job) Default ThumbnailI Got A New Day Job, Sort Of (or Maybe I Won’t Be Unemployed For Long) Default ThumbnailTraining Day At A New Possible Job (or Next Time, I’ll Give Myself 3 Hours To Get There) Default ThumbnailDay Job News (or Things Are Getting Better) Default ThumbnailFeeling A Bit More Luck (or Hopefully This Was Just A Bad Phase)

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Almost Getting To Act (or Being On The Other Side Of A Self-Tape Audition)

Posted on November 24, 2020 | Comments Off on Almost Getting To Act (or Being On The Other Side Of A Self-Tape Audition)

I’ve had a few self-tape auditions during this pandemic. Even though there are a few more in-person auditions these days, self-tape auditions are still more common. It’s an easy way for casting directors to set up auditions and to keep themselves safe. And I think most of my actor friends have gotten a pretty decent system down for how to do the best self-tapes. I know I have. I might not have all the equipment I would like to have, but I’ve got a way to do decent work and I know that casting directors aren’t expecting something to be perfect in terms of film quality.

One of the weirdest parts of doing self-tape auditions these days is having someone to read the other lines with you. Before the pandemic, I would invite someone to come over to help me do a self-tape. They would run the camera and read the lines with me. But now, it’s not really safe to do that. And I think most people have done the same thing: we have our readers on a phone or video call.

I’ve figured out a way to have my reader on my phone while I record my audition on my iPad. And I set up my phone to be in a place where my friend can see the screen of my iPad if they are on a video call. That way, they can make sure that I’m still in frame and things look good. It’s a weird system, but it works. And I think most casting directors understand why our readers might sound tinny.

And this past week, I had the chance to be a reader for a friend’s audition. I hadn’t done that before and it was fun to do. I know it wasn’t my audition so I wasn’t really acting much saying the lines I had to say, but I also tried to make them sound a little more lively than if I was just reading them. My friend had a commercial audition with 2 scenes he had to do. So we had a couple of takes with each one until he felt like they were what he wanted. He had a camera recording him with a screen he could see, so he didn’t need me to be checking the frame. I just was seeing things off to the side to help him with an eye line.

There are so few opportunities right now to do any acting, so being a reader for someone else was a treat for me. It was a fraction of what I get to do when I book a job, but it’s much more than I normally get to do. It really made me so happy to do it. Plus, I was helping out a friend and that felt amazing too. I don’t do a ton of video calls because I think most people are a little burned out on them, so it was nice to get to have a quick catch up with a friend and actually see them and not just hear them. Honestly, it really was a highlight of my week last week. I don’t get to do much that makes me happy, so this was just much more special.

I’ve got my fingers crossed for my friend to book it (I think he did a great job with the audition). And I hope I get more opportunities to either do a self-tape myself or to help a friend record theirs. I crave any type of acting related work I can do and I hope I can do more of them. I know that eventually, things will be safe again to do in-person auditions more and more. They might still keep self-tape auditions. They’ve been a thing before, just not that common. And there are pros and cons for having them. But they are still auditions and they are still fun for me. And I’m grateful whenever I get to have any part in one, even if it’s just to help a friend with their audition.

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Default ThumbnailAudition Horror Stories (or Sometimes I Like Things To Be Boring) Default ThumbnailMaking My Acting Bold (or Feeling Great From An Audition) Default ThumbnailAn Isolation Audition (or Working On My Self-Tape Game) Default ThumbnailAnother Self-Tape Audition (or So Grateful For Anything Related To Acting Right Now) Default ThumbnailHelping Out A Friend (or Getting To Act) Default ThumbnailSelf-Tape Saturday (or Turning A Video Shoot Into A Photo Shoot)

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Being Social Feels A Bit Cold (or Another Realization About The Pandemic)

Posted on November 6, 2020 | Comments Off on Being Social Feels A Bit Cold (or Another Realization About The Pandemic)

I’ve been making more of an effort to try to be social over the past month. I know that I’m very isolated at home and I can’t keep doing that. But it can be hard to find the balance between being social and being safe. I don’t want to go out where there will be a lot of people and I really don’t want to be out somewhere that a lot of people aren’t wearing masks. And I keep being fearful that I will take a slightly higher risk than I have and that’s what will get me sick. So I have to make sure that whatever I choose to do, I pick things that are safe.

I think that’s one reason why I’m happy to go see my family. I’m sure I would have seen them just as often without a pandemic. But when I’m with my family it’s the one time I can be social and not scared. Before we see each other, we take precautions to make sure that we aren’t going to get each other sick. When I’m around my family, I do still have a little hesitation because of the new fears in my head, but I know I don’t have to worry as much. If anyone in my family thought for a moment that they had been exposed, we wouldn’t be seeing each other.

My social time outside of my family has been very limited. Most of the time, it’s virtual socialization. I’ve rarely seen a friend in person and when I have it’s been at a distance and wearing masks. And thinking about that has been making me sad and I couldn’t figure out exactly why. But earlier this week, I finally was able to put a word to the feeling.

All the social interactions I’ve had (outside of my family) have been very cold. You can’t hug your friends. You can’t be completely comfortable because you have to be cautious. With very few exceptions, you have to be wearing a mask. And wearing a mask almost takes away some of the human element of being social. It’s hard when you can’t see the bottom half of someone’s face. It is like a barrier between you and your friends (and yes, I know it literally is) that keeps you from connecting the same way you are used to. There is a degree of separation that we aren’t used to having when we are out with people.

I think having virtual hangouts has the same issues. There is something that isn’t quite right and feels normal. You aren’t getting the same connection that you get when you hang out together in person. I know that everyone is trying to make it feel like it’s not weird, but there’s something that will never feel the same when you are looking at someone on a screen and you aren’t in the same space.

I don’t know how to fix this feeling. I know that some of my friends have been working on creating bubbles where they know that they are only seeing each other. Many of my friends don’t have the luxury of not having to go out to work, so it’s not easy for me to find someone that I could be in a bubble with. I know that we could try to find things we could do outside and if we sit far enough away we wouldn’t necessarily have to wear masks, but that still feels a bit too risky for so many of us. Again, it’s all about finding what risks we are willing to take. And I know that my group of friends is probably more cautious than most, but it’s for good reason. I’ve known too many people who got sick. One of my friends had only been leaving their house to go to the grocery store (where everyone is wearing a mask) and they still got sick. Fortunately, most of my friends have made full or almost full recoveries. But some are still dealing with issues months after they were told that they were over it.

We’ve been in this pandemic for about 8 months now. I am still learning so much about how to survive in such isolation and what I feel like I need to feel better. New things are discovered all the time. A month or two ago, I probably would have said that I didn’t care if I was seeing people in masks because it was being social. Now I know that doing that helps but it still leaves me feeling sad and like I’m not fully experiencing my time with my friends. But I don’t know if I can do anything to change that for now. I just have to continue to find ways to manage right now and hope that soon enough we will be through this pandemic and I won’t have these concerns anymore.

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Default ThumbnailAnother Santa Barbara Day (or A Little Bit Of Social Interaction) Default ThumbnailMore Thoughts On Pandemic Dating (or I Wish I Didn’t Miss Dating As Much) Default ThumbnailPlease Wear A Mask And Stay Home If You Can (or This Shouldn’t Be Political) Default ThumbnailStill Trying To Figure Out Pandemic Dating (or Sometimes You Can’t Plan For Things) Default ThumbnailAnother Full Quarantine (or I Don’t Know Why This Feels Different) Default ThumbnailSome Of The New Normal (or I’ll Need To Get Used To This)

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