Tag Archives: food

Pinning And Not Doing (or The Hazards Of Pinterest)

I’ve been pretty active on my Pinterest page lately. I’ve been pinning a ton of recipes and craft ideas and I’m super inspired to do all of these ideas.

Except I’ve done none of them.

I went back through the recipes that I’ve pinned lately and they all look amazing to me. I want to make all of those meals now. Some of them are even slow cooker recipes so I can cook them while I work (but I don’t feel comfortable leaving my slow cooker on while I’m not home yet).

But then I look at the ingredients and realize that I have to do a shopping trip just to get those things. I don’t keep a very stocked fridge or pantry, but I feel like  I have to do that so I don’t go crazy with food. So I can’t just “throw something together” because I don’t have the something to throw together.

I’m trying to do some planning about maybe going to get the ingredients on a day that I can make the dish, but then when I get to the store, I’m just motivated to get the things I usually eat (lots of salad ingredients and frozen chicken).

I’m not sure if my lack of motivation is due to not wanting to make the food or the cleanup involved afterwards. It’s also not motivating when I’m just cooking for myself. When I have company, I’m happy to cook.

Crafty ideas I’m getting a bit better about. I saw a pin about cute placemats for Thanksgiving. I went out and got all the things needed to make them and I’ll be working on them on the weekend (it involves multiple coats of paint so I want a day that I’m free to work on this). I’m much more willing to fail with crafty ideas than I am with food.

Everything looks so beautiful on Pinterest and not necessarily achievable by “normal” people. There are even websites devoted to Pinterest fail. I understand that with many things that are pinned on there, failure is almost inevitable because many pins are done by professionals.

I just have to get over myself and take the risk at making these foods I’ve pinned and maybe I can become a Pinterest success story!

Food Plans (or Working From Home Does Have Some Diet Benefits)

I’m basically only working from home now. It’s probably going to stay like that since any additional jobs I add on will pretty much have to be done while I’m working my other job (unless I find a night/weekend job).

I used to have such trouble with lunches when I worked outside of my house. Remembering to pack and bring my lunch was one issue. The other was the temptation of all the other food available nearby work.

I don’t have that issue anymore. My work hours are 10-3 and I don’t really get a lunch break. I’m able to step away from my computer to eat lunch, but I pretty much stay at my desk because I never know when a chat or phone call will come in.

Because of this, I’m eating pretty much at home for all my meals. My breakfasts on work days are almost always toast and peanut butter. It keeps me full and it’s not too bad calorie wise.

Dinners are a lot of prepackaged meals, but I’m still considering that better than ordering pizza or Chinese food delivery. I’m again being careful with the calories, but I know that there are things in the prepackaged meals that I don’t need.

Lunch is a little tricky since I am pretty much eating at my desk and have to stop every so often to help a customer. I’m working on finding things that I can eat over a long period of time incase I get stuck helping a customer for a long time. I’m really liking the egg white salad mix from Trader Joes. I eat that by itself with a piece of fruit (that’s exactly what I did yesterday). Also, the premade salads from Trader Joes are really yummy and don’t go bad or get weird if you don’t eat it all right away.

I’m finally out of my food rut of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I’ve told myself I can only have peanut butter once a day and right now, I’m really liking it for breakfast.

I know that I need to start cooking more and stop eating the prepackaged food, but I’m looking at this a baby steps. I haven’t had any fast food for a long time (easily over a month ago) and I haven’t been ordering delivery food either. I’m finally getting those bad habits out of my system.

Now I need to focus on the next step of introducing more good habits in. This is such a long process for me and I know that I need to be patient. I’m just trying to focus on the steps I have done so far and not how many more I need to go.

Counting Every Calorie (or Seeing Things In Black and White)

The other day I seriously went crazy with food. Not just a little. Crazy to the point I felt sick.

Usually when this happens, I make sure that when I’m done I throw out any remaining “bad” food so I can start over the next day. And since I track my calories, I put in something into the MyFitnessPal app so it doesn’t show that I skipped a day.

That’s not exactly how things went this week.

First of all, I forgot to throw out all of the “bad” food. And so when I discovered it the next day, I decided to eat it for breakfast (I have no clue why I did this).

So I was already feeling pretty horrible about my day after eating something I shouldn’t have first thing in the morning. But I decided to make myself accountable for what I did.

First, I went back to the day before and entered in all the foods I ate. I went well over my calorie goal for the day, but at least I had a number to put to it.

Then I entered what I ate in the morning. It was over half of my calories for the day. But by having that information in, I found a way to manage my calories for the rest of the day so that with my workout that afternoon, I was just under my calorie goal for the day.

Taking the emotions out of food is really helping me. While I’m in the moment of weakness and eating what I shouldn’t, it’s a completely emotional experience (even if that emotion is being numb). But when I regain my senses, putting the calories of everything down really does help put things into perspective.

I could have easily said that I screwed up with my breakfast so why not screw up for the entire day. And I’ve done that over and over again. It’s so easy to believe that you will start being good tomorrow or after the weekend or after the holidays. But starting over right after the “bad” meal is really the best.

I hate that I’m still struggling with all of this. I wish that it would just go away. But the reality is that I will most likely have these issues for the rest of my life. Hopefully it won’t be as frequent as it is now (which is way less frequent than it used to be), but I have to allow myself to have slip-ups.

And at least by tracking everything I can see that I didn’t really screw up and that I can get back on track and still have a successful day.

Another Set Back (or Why Can’t I Just Learn My Lesson)

The other day, I had another food set back. I had everything planned out perfectly for the day, but it just never worked out for me.

I shouldn’t have been hungry, but I was. And since I don’t keep a ton of food in my house (or many reasons), I ordered delivery food.

This was not a smart decision for many reasons. But at the time, it seemed like the only option to make myself not feel hungry anymore.

The food didn’t taste that great. It used to, but since I’ve been avoiding foods like this for a while, my body doesn’t crave them the way it used to. Even though it didn’t taste great, I ate it.

The one positive I’ve found out of this situation is that I was not able to eat even half of what I used to eat. I was too full and was starting to feel sick right away. So I did the only thing that sounded sane to me at the time.

I covered all the remaining food in household cleaner and put it straight into my garbage can outside. That way, the food would not tempt me any longer.

That night was horrible for me. I’ve had issues with my gallbladder in the past (many women on my mom’s side have had issues so it’s not a surprise that I do). I used to get gallbladder attacks a few times a year. I’ve been to the hospital for them, but it hasn’t gotten to the point where they want to remove my gallbladder (nor do I want to deal with any more surgeries than I have to).

I haven’t had a gallbladder attack in about a year or so. I was just talking to my mom about how many my gallbladder issues are gone now.

But that night, I had one of the worst gallbladder attacks I’ve ever had.

If you’ve never experienced gallbladder issues, you are lucky. The pain is incredible and it seems like no painkiller can help. The pain is in your spine and ribcage and there seems to be no position you can sit, stand, or lay down in to get comfortable. I spent that night in horrible pain and maybe slept for an hour or two total (in 10 or 15 minute spurts).

I know that setbacks are normal and that I have to understand that they will happen. But I’m hoping that somehow I will learn my lesson at least a little from this setback. The gallbladder issue was most likely caused by too much fat in the meal that I ate. And I know that other setbacks I’ve had in the past have not been as bad as this one was.

While I’m sure I will still have a craving for this food again (even though I know in my head that it won’t taste that good), I’m hoping that I will remember the pain that I felt after eating it this time. If it doesn’t prevent me from getting the food altogether, maybe it will help me eat less of it or to not order all that I did before.

But I am very proud to say that after this one setback I got back on track again the next morning. I didn’t allow myself to have a bad week because of a bad meal. And the weight that I gained from this setback is almost all gone now.

So maybe I have learned something from my past self.

Adding Variety (or Trying To Be Adventurous With My Food)

I’ve talked about my food rut before. I pretty much eat the same few things every single day. I have 2 or 3 different things that I will make for breakfast, lunch is pretty much always a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some fruit, and dinner is some sort of salad or frozen entree.

Some of this food rut is due to my OCD and other parts of it are due to laziness. I’m not a huge cook, and especially during the summer when it’s so hot I don’t want to use any appliances in my house.

But within my few things I eat each day, I’m trying to change up some individual items.

For breakfast, instead of eating plain greek yogurt, I’m adding some granola that has flaxseed in it (I actually don’t mind the taste of flaxseed). That might not seem like a huge change, but it is for me. And I’m noticing that I’m not as hungry when lunchtime comes when I do add in the granola.

Dinner is still a tough one for me. 3 nights a week I’m getting home from Orangetheory at dinnertime and I’m starving. I need something to eat quickly. So I’ve been eating salads from Subway (no dressing just vinegar) or frozen entrees from Trader Joes (I’m loving the cod dinner right now). I’m working on trying to pre-make salads at home, but it seems like the veggies go bad before I use them up. So spending a little money to get a salad made isn’t too horrible. I’m also looking into some no-cook or slow cooker only recipes that freeze well. It’s tough when you cook and it makes 4 or 6 servings. I’m ok with leftovers the next day, but I don’t want to eat it multiple days in a row. So I need something that I can freeze.

My latest attempt at adding variety to my diet was changing up the fruit I eat at lunch. Most of the time I eat a banana and occasionally I’ll have an apple, but that’s pretty much it for now. I’m not a picky eater, I just am set in my ways.

So the last time I went to Trader Joes, I walked around trying to find another fruit that looked good to me. I saw some peaches that looked nice so I got them.

A day after I purchased the peaches, the mass recall of fruit (including peaches from Trader Joes) happen. And yes, I double checked everything and the container of peaches that I purchased is on the recall list.

I haven’t returned my peaches yet (maybe I’ll do that tomorrow), but now I’m definitely not eating them.

I’m trying to not see this as a sign that I shouldn’t change things up. It’s just dumb luck.

But it probably will be another week or so before I end up trying another fruit for lunch time. For now, I’m back to my bananas.

Cheating With Pie (or Trying To Splurge The Right Way)

In the past, I’ve been an all or nothing dieter. Either I’m on track or I’m going crazy. I’ve never been able to find a good middle (or what most people would call “normal eating”).

I’m really working hard at changing that right now. I am trying to stay under my calories every day as well as not trying to eat my exercise calories. So far, that’s going pretty well for me. Although I am eating almost the exact same thing every day. But I do get into food ruts occasionally and I think that that’s ok.

My big thing right now is each day for lunch I’m eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s not too bad in calories and it’s easy for me to portion control it (one piece of bread and the peanut butter is a single serving packet). And having that as my lunch every day has helped with the afternoon snacking. So I’m not planning on changing my lunches anytime soon (it’s also pretty cheap so that’s another plus).

There are so many diet books that say that you can splurge every once in a while. Lots of sources talk about having a cheat day, but I know that if I let myself have a day, that’s going to end up really badly. So I want to allow myself a cheat meal every once in a while.

I had my first official cheat meal this past weekend on Saturday. I went out for lunch and pie with my friend Emily. Even though this was only a cheat meal, it ended up in a way becoming a cheat day (I didn’t eat breakfast that morning and I had my leftovers from lunch for dinner).

One thing I learned about my cheat meal: I probably went a little overboard. Not in calories (somehow I was 1 calorie under my calorie goal for the day), but in richness or something else. Not to be too gross, but my body was very unhappy for about half a day after that meal. It’s a few days later and I still don’t feel as good as I had been feeling before.

I need to be able to make cheat meals a part of my life. I need to be able to enjoy food every once in a while. But I need to balance those cheats meals better with my normal meals. And I’m still learning how to do that.

Sometimes I wonder how skinny people do it. It seems like an impossible task to lose weight (or maintain weight loss) and eat more than just lettuce all day. I know that part of my problem is that I do have a slightly slower metabolism than most people (I had that tested in the past), but that can’t account for all my trouble.

But I feel like for the first time, I really learned my lesson with eating the wrong things. In the past, I might have felt a little sick from overeating or indulging, but never as sick as I felt this time. My body must have started to get used to the good foods I’m putting in my system and is finally recognizing the bad foods as bad foods. I know that there will be another overindulgence or slip up in the future, but for the first time, I feel optimistic that my cheat meal will be just that and not a slide back down toward constant binge eating.

No More Playing Victim (or Taking Control)

I realized the other day that I’m starting to act like a victim with many things in my life. My job situation isn’t so great right now, I’m still struggling with food issues, and I have no money.

But acting like a victim isn’t going to get me anywhere in life. Sometimes you need to wallow in how annoying things are in your life for a minute, but after that you need to pick yourself up and start changing things.

While I’m hopeful that I won’t lose my job, I’m preparing for the worst. I spent part of the day yesterday trying to reopen my unemployment claim. I have no idea how long it will take for it to reopen, but I figure starting early can’t hurt. I’ve also taken the advice of everyone who has offered to help me and applied for all the jobs that were suggested. I’m also hoping that the survey coder job will be able to start training me soon so I can do that job, so I’ve made myself very available for those graveyard shifts. And I’ve let my box office job know that my availability might be changing soon, and if that happens they can put me back on the schedule sooner than September.

As far as the money issues go, that’s pretty much related to the job situation. And like I said yesterday, if I’m not making money, then I need to focus on saving money where I can.

And for food, that will be a struggle for a long time, if not for the rest of my life. That’s tough to accept, but it’s my reality. Some people have other struggles for their entire lives so why should I think that my struggle would go away so easily. I’m trying to focus on keeping only “good” foods in my house and limit going out to eat or getting delivery (which helps in the idea of saving money).

While my life isn’t really stable and in control right now, I’m doing my best to make an attempt at control right now. There are things that I can change easily on my own and there are other things that are dependent on others helping me. But knowing what I can control does help me create steps to make sure I’m not acting like a victim but instead getting stuff headed in the right direction.

Finding A Balance (or Eating Healthy And Fun At The Same Time)

I’m struggling a bit with food again. As someone with an eating disorder, I guess I should be prepared to deal with this for the rest of my life. I just hope one day it gets easier.

I’m really working hard at staying under my calorie goals every day, but there keeps being something that prevents me from doing that. And part of it is because so much of my social life revolves around food.

Now, I don’t want to make my friends who have gone out to meals with me feel bad. That’s not what this is about. I just don’t understand how they can eat the same things as me (or more) and not have issues with it. I’m feeling insane guilt and sometimes feeling like I screwed up my whole day.

It’s hard to find the balance with healthy and fun foods, but I know it’s possible. I see people do it all the time.

And maybe I do have some sort of health issue causing problems again. I’ve met with an endocrinologist many times and some of my test results have come back suspicious. But whenever they re-test me, everything is fine again. Maybe I have to go through that process again (although it does involve blood work and I’d rather avoid dealing with needles if I can help it).

I know that a big part of what keeps me on track certain days is working out. If I work out in the morning, I have more calories to play with during the day (although I normally don’t eat my exercise calories). And if I work out at night, I feel like I have to be good all day so I feel ok to exercise after those meals. I can’t work out every evening right now because of my work schedule, but I’m looking into doing that when I’m (f)unemployed again.

I also have to think back to the time I was on the RFO Diet. For those months, I literally could not eat when I went out for meals with my friends. Sometimes I would bring my supplements with me and have them there, but more often than not I just sat there and enjoyed the company. I might start doing that again so I don’t eat foods that I regret later.

And trying restaurants I’ve never been to before is another way to prevent my guilt eating. At restaurants that I’ve been to when I’ve not worried about my weight, there are some very bad choices that I used to love to eat. And if I go back there, I’m tempted to have those things again because my memories of them are that they were delicious. There’s one sandwich at Jerry’s Deli that I used to always get. I still think about it from time to time, but I don’t go to Jerry’s anymore because I don’t want to have to deal with how many calories it is.

Sorry for the little rant today. I’m getting frustrated with my weight loss (it’s stalled right now) and I don’t know what else I can change. But I promise tomorrow will be a very exciting and positive blog post. I can’t tell you why yet, but make sure you read here tomorrow to see what happened!

Back Into The Groove (or Staying On The Right Path While At Work)

I’ve been back at my day job for a week now. And it feels like I never left (not necessarily in a good way). I’m back to being on the phone for 8 hours trying to sell memberships and tickets. So far, it hasn’t been the most productive time, but that’s typical for this part of the year (plus we don’t have any shows going on for another week and a half).

Yes, I’m missing my free time. I haven’t been going to spin class as often as I want because I have to work around my work schedule. I’m still trying to figure out a better way to go before work and have enough time to get ready. Right now I’m cutting it very close.

The one thing that is going my way right now is food. I’m doing so much better this time at work with my meal planning. I’m not sure why it’s gotten easier, but maybe I’ve finally gotten used to it.

I’m pretty boring when it comes to my breakfast. I’m either eating eggs and toast or peanut butter on toast. And for dinners I’m either getting a veggie sandwich from Subway or my latest dinner obsession is heating up some of the frozen pre-cooked chicken breast strips from Trader Joes and then putting that on top of either brown rice or veggies (I’m using the cooked frozen brown rice that cooks in 3 minutes and the Organic Foursome frozen veggies, both from Trader Joes). I’m not sure why I’m obsessed with this meal, but it’s healthy so I’m going to keep eating it.

Lunches have always been tough. Last week, there was a day that I forgot the lunch I made, so I had to go get something. It’s tough when you only have 30 minutes to eat, but I was able to go over to 7-11 down the street and pick up a yogurt and a banana. That held me until I had my dinner at 9pm. But most days I’m remembering my lunch. I typically bring either a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or a pre-made salad from Trader Joes (can’t you tell what my favorite grocery store is?) and some fruit. While I’m getting pretty hungry toward the end of my work shift, I’m staying in my calorie range pretty much every day.

I’m hoping I finally turned a corner in my meal planning. The next step would be to stop relying on so many pre-made things and cooking more from scratch, but that’s going to be a slow process. I don’t want to be cooking at 9pm when I get home if I have to be at work the next day at 9am. So most of my cooking will have to be done on either one of my half shift days or on my one day off.

Skinny Spinach Dip (or A Recipe From Food Should Taste Good)

After I got the chips from Food Should Taste Good, I knew I wanted to make a dip to go with them. I ended up going to their recipe website and found skinny spinach dip. I love spinach dip, but it’s normally a pretty high calorie choice. I added up the ingredients from this recipe and the entire batch is about 500 calories! So of course I’m sharing it with all of you!

Here’s what you’ll need:

4 cups chopped fresh spinach, loosely packed

12 oz plain greek yogurt (I like Fage)

1/4 cup green onions, chopped

3 cloves of garlic, minced

1 cup shredded Mozzarella cheese

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

1/4 cup grate Parmesan cheese

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And the steps to make this are super easy!

Put the first seven ingredients (everything but the Parmesan) in a bowl.

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Mix it together.

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Put the mix in an oven proof bowl (I sprayed some non-stick spray in it).

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I actually made this a day ahead so for me, the next step was to stick it in my fridge. I was going to bake it the next day. If you are making this the same day, obviously skip this step.

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(Now you all know what I keep in my fridge!)

When you are ready to bake it, put it in a 350 degree oven.

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And let it bake for about 30 minutes (since mine came out of the fridge, I let it bake for about 40 minutes). The cheese should be melted and bubbly and the edges should be golden.

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Finally, sprinkle the Parmesan cheese on top!

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That’s it! It’s super easy and it was really yummy too! Between me and my friend, we pretty much finished it all! I know that I’ll be making this again for parties in the future. It was quick to put together and it looked impressive. The only thing that I would change was I would make sure to chop the spinach smaller. Or maybe take some frozen spinach and thaw and drain it to use. But even with the big spinach pieces, it was so good!

I hope you all try this out sometime soon!

PS: On a totally unrelated note, I want to wish my brother Ross a happy birthday!