Tag Archives: eating disorder

Counting Every Calorie (or Seeing Things In Black and White)

Posted on October 24, 2014 | Comments Off

The other day I seriously went crazy with food. Not just a little. Crazy to the point I felt sick.

Usually when this happens, I make sure that when I’m done I throw out any remaining “bad” food so I can start over the next day. And since I track my calories, I put in something into the MyFitnessPal app so it doesn’t show that I skipped a day.

That’s not exactly how things went this week.

First of all, I forgot to throw out all of the “bad” food. And so when I discovered it the next day, I decided to eat it for breakfast (I have no clue why I did this).

So I was already feeling pretty horrible about my day after eating something I shouldn’t have first thing in the morning. But I decided to make myself accountable for what I did.

First, I went back to the day before and entered in all the foods I ate. I went well over my calorie goal for the day, but at least I had a number to put to it.

Then I entered what I ate in the morning. It was over half of my calories for the day. But by having that information in, I found a way to manage my calories for the rest of the day so that with my workout that afternoon, I was just under my calorie goal for the day.

Taking the emotions out of food is really helping me. While I’m in the moment of weakness and eating what I shouldn’t, it’s a completely emotional experience (even if that emotion is being numb). But when I regain my senses, putting the calories of everything down really does help put things into perspective.

I could have easily said that I screwed up with my breakfast so why not screw up for the entire day. And I’ve done that over and over again. It’s so easy to believe that you will start being good tomorrow or after the weekend or after the holidays. But starting over right after the “bad” meal is really the best.

I hate that I’m still struggling with all of this. I wish that it would just go away. But the reality is that I will most likely have these issues for the rest of my life. Hopefully it won’t be as frequent as it is now (which is way less frequent than it used to be), but I have to allow myself to have slip-ups.

And at least by tracking everything I can see that I didn’t really screw up and that I can get back on track and still have a successful day.

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Posted in Food, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

Tagged binge, binge eating, calories, eating disorder, food, my fitness pal

Not Letting A Slip Up Be A Set Back (or I Splurged Again)

Posted on July 18, 2014 | 3 comments

While I thought I had learned my lesson about splurge meals, I guess I didn’t. I did another splurge meal, but it was more of an afternoon than a meal.

A little back story.

Over the years, certain grocery stores feel “unsafe” to me. I know where the things are that I like to eat, and with muscle memory it seems like I just walk to those foods and put them in my basket. So I’ve avoided certain grocery stores over the past few years.

Now I go to 2 different stores near my house, an Albertsons and a Trader Joes. I used to go to Albertsons a lot more, but there are more “bad” foods for me there. So I only go for certain items that I know I can get at Trader Joes (which used to include a specific sparkling flavored water but I haven’t had one of those in over a month).

But even though I go to this particular Trader Joes, it’s starting to feel unsafe for me.

Yesterday, I had to go to Trader Joes to pick up a few items (mainly household things). I decided that since I wasn’t doing my usual shopping, I wouldn’t walk through the aisles the way I typically do. I thought that would shock my muscle memory and I would be able to walk out with just the few things I needed.

I got my items but ended up right next to one of my “bad” foods, which happens to be the fresh mozzarella. I wasn’t planning on buying it (I didn’t need it), but somehow it ended up in my basket along with a few other things that I used to eat all the time but have tried to avoid lately.

And like I was on auto-pilot I bought those items, brought them home, and ate them (in a particular order which I’ve always done).

And as soon as I did it I felt sick. There was no need for me to eat these things. Looking back, I had forgotten to eat at all before going to the grocery store (the graveyard shifts throw off my meal times) and that was a huge mistake. I try to never go to the store hungry. Not only does that make me feel like I need a certain food, my willpower is lowered and I just don’t think about it.

But I’m trying to tell myself that just because I had a bad few hours yesterday doesn’t mean I can’t have good hours after that. In the past, I would always tell myself that I could start a diet on “Monday” (Monday is really any arbitrary day in the future). I would tell myself that I would get what I wanted until then and then once “Monday” comes I’ll be good.

I’m not doing that this time. Today is a workout day at Orangetheory Fitness and I have all my meals for the day planned out (and I’ll be under my calorie goal so that will help with the excess of calories from yesterday).

This is progress for me. It might not seem like it, but I know that it is. I just have to accept that slip ups will happen from time to time and that I have to be ok with that. And that I can get back on track immediately and don’t need to go crazy.

I’m going to try to eliminate those “bad” foods from my diet, but I’m slowly removing “bad” foods. I haven’t gotten any fast food in a month (unless you count one In-N-Out burger on the way to Lake Tahoe). And there some delivery food that I used to get way too often and I haven’t ordered it for 3 weeks (which is really good for me). And there are other foods from Trader Joes that are “bad” and I have been able to avoid getting them for over a week.

It’s baby steps, but there is progress. I’m just trying to be patient with myself and more accepting of my flaws and slip ups. And just because I’m accepting doesn’t mean I’m ok with them. I just know that I can’t be too harsh on myself because if I do, I’ll just go back to how things used to be.

3 Comments

Posted in Food, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

Tagged binge eating, eating disorder, progress, splurge, Trader Joes

My First OA Meeting (or Celebrating A Friend’s Milestone)

Posted on July 9, 2014 | 4 comments

About a month or so ago a friend of mine invited me to check out Overeaters Anonymous with her. Since the group is anonymous and my friend has asked me not to share her name, I’m going to refer to her as E. (that’s not one of her initials so don’t start going through my old posts trying to figure out who E. is).

I wasn’t able to go with E. for a while, but then she asked me again recently. This time, she asked me to attend a particular meeting because she would be celebrating her 1 year mark with OA and wanted me to be a part of it. I was honored to go, so even though I’ve had my reservations about going to OA in the past, I wasn’t going to miss this meeting.

This meeting was held in the valley right after rush hour. So if I was going to attend meetings in the future, it probably wouldn’t be this one (it took me over an hour to get there). But I got to the meeting early enough to get to hang out with E. and catch up a bit before we went inside.

I didn’t know what to expect, but I’ve done group therapy before. It was a major component of the RFO diet that I did in the past. So I’m used to sharing with a group and getting feedback from fellow members. But OA was very different from any other group therapy I’ve done before.

In all the past group therapy I’ve done, the entire time was spent letting people talk about their problems/victories/concerns and letting other people respond and give advice or encouragement. In this particular OA meeting, the meeting was an hour-long but over 30 minutes of that was doing going over rules and other administrative items such as reading the 12 steps and traditions of OA as well as a member sharing her story (she has been in OA for decades). Now, there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just not what I expected. E. told me that there are several meetings that are over an hour just so there is more time for talking.

After all the administrative talk at the meeting, it was time to celebrate people’s anniversaries with OA. E. got a candle to celebrate her 1 year mark and there were some other women celebrating 3 years. I was so proud of E. for many reasons. She’s stuck with something for a year, and that’s so tough to do. And she was open to sharing this with me, which is also incredibly tough to do. I remember when I wrote about my eating disorder on here for the first time I cried for about 3 hours and almost didn’t publish that post.

Next, people had a chance to talk. But they are only given a certain amount of time (I’m not exactly sure of the time limit, but I think it was about 4 minutes). There is someone at the meeting with a timer and they let people know when their time is up. Again, this is not something I’m used to. In other group therapy, we could easily spend 30 minutes on one topic with multiple people chiming in. But perhaps with the time restrictions on the OA meeting, they’ve discovered that they need to keep people on time so they can do everything that needs to be done.

One of my biggest concerns and reasons I hadn’t checked out OA in the past was the issue of God. I don’t believe in God (and I don’t want to start a debate on here about that). But when I looked over a lot of the information about OA, it talks about letting a higher power guide you and things to that nature. While I do believe in putting things out into the universe, that’s not to have the universe guide me. I guide myself.

This particular meeting was very “God-ish” as E. and I put it. But she told me that most meetings weren’t this way and this particular meeting was one of the most “God-ish” that she’s been to.

Overall, the meeting was some of what I expected and a lot of what I didn’t expect. After the meeting, E. and I talked in my car for a while about it and she listened to my concerns and addressed all of them (including telling me about meetings that are longer than an hour and how this meeting seemed very “God-ish”). I’m not 100% sure that I’m going to check out another OA meeting soon, but I’m so glad I went. I got to see what it was all about and I did meet some really great people there (I wish I could tell you about them but that would defeat the “anonymous” part).

Sorry if this post seems scattered (it feels that way to me when I’m reading it and I’ve edited this several times now). The OA meeting wasn’t super recent. I waited to share this for me to gather my thoughts a bit more about it. If any of you attend OA and are ok with sharing your thoughts, I’d love to hear them. But I also understand if you don’t want to “out” yourself. It’s not an easy thing to do, but I’m so glad that E. “outed” herself to me and I was able to share in one of her victories.

4 Comments

Posted in Celebrations, Food, Tough Stuff

Tagged binge eating, eating disorder, meeting

Honesty Time (or Going Backwards)

Posted on June 3, 2014 | 1 comment

I haven’t talked about weight loss on here for a while. And it’s because things are going so great for me right now.

In fact, I’ve gained a decent amount of weight. I haven’t gained everything that I lost, but I gained back a good chunk of it.

And I haven’t wanted to share that on here because I don’t want to disappoint you all. But then I realized that everyone who is going through weight struggles has this moment. I’ve had it before and I’m sure I’ll have it again.

What makes this different is I stopped it (or at least realized it) before all the progress I had made disappeared. And I’m trying to take steps to go back in the right direction.

Why the weight gain? Well, lately both my food choices haven’t been great and I’ve been skipping workouts. So of course I should expect weight gain.

The thing is, I didn’t realize how long it had been since I last worked out. When I finally looked at my history at SoulCycle, I realized that I haven’t been there in a month. And my last workout was the blogger event at FlyWheel. But that was several weeks ago.

Since realizing this over the weekend, I have had a big workout (but that will come in another post). But missing workouts was only part of the picture. Food is always going to be a battle for me and I don’t want it to beat me. So I downloaded several books onto my kindle about eating disorders (mostly on binge eating but some on eating disorders in general).

I starting with a book that I saw recommended on another blog that I read. I’m about a third of the way done with it and it is eye-opening to see that other people have the exact same struggles that I do. Somehow it feels like eating disorders are a very lonely thing and nobody understands how you feel. But when you are really open and honest about it you find that there are other people who get exactly what you go through.

I’m hoping to get myself back on the right track quickly. I have another 5K coming up in less than 2 weeks and I don’t want to be unprepared for it.

But if nothing else, at least I recognized that I was slipping before I got back to the start line.

1 Comment

Posted in Fitness, Food, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

Tagged binge eating, eating disorder, struggle, weight gain, weight loss

Biggest Loser Finale (or I Wish I Didn’t Have To Write About This)

Posted on February 6, 2014 | Comments Off

On Tuesday evening, the finale for the most recent season of “The Biggest Loser” aired. This is the season that had the contestants that I saw at my birthday spin class. I’ve already written about how the show is a guilty pleasure of mine and that I have issues with how weight loss is shown on the show. But now I feel like I need to write about the reactions to the finale.

In case you aren’t too familiar with the show, the finale is a live event (or at least live for the east coast). Everyone who was eliminated prior to the finale weighs in for the at-home prize. The contestant with the highest percentage of weight loss wins. Then the finalists come out and the finalist with the highest percentage of weight loss wins $250,000.

When the finalists came out, the two men who were finalists looked a little thin, but that’s to be expected when they try to be at their lowest weight to win. Then the girl finalist, Rachel, came out. And you could hear gasps coming from the audience.

(photo courtesy of US Magazine)

I thought she looked pretty thin. Her legs were muscular, but her arms and face seemed very very skinny. When she weighed in, her weight was 105 pounds (she’s 5’4″). She lost about 60% of her body weight in about 8 months.

Immediately people were posting various sites online that Rachel must be anorexic now. People seemed shocked by her appearance. And two of the trainers on the show looked pretty surprised in the live show and later released a statement that they would not comment on her weight since they weren’t her trainers during the show.

It seems like people are finally seeing some of the problems that I’ve noticed with “The Biggest Loser” years ago. When you reward people for the highest percentage of weight loss, people do drastic things to make sure they win in the finale. Historically, the contestants gain weight back after the finale because they are extremely dehydrated (to make sure there is no water weight causing them to lose the weigh in). Many contestants gain back a lot of the weight they lost because the show is not realistic. And when you lose weight with a finish line in mind, you aren’t looking at it as a lifestyle but a temporary situation.

I know that last one for sure. When I did the RFO diet the first time, it was in preparation for my hip surgery. I knew that the less I weighed, the easier my recovery would be from surgery. And since I was about 90 pounds lighter going into surgery, I did have a very easy recovery. But after surgery, I didn’t have the same motivation any more to lose weight. And I gained a lot of it back. I did the RFO diet again, but again looked at it as a temporary situation (you have to when you aren’t eating any real food). And I gained it back again.

The other thing that makes me pretty mad at “The Biggest Loser” is the fact that many, if not all, of the contestants are at high risk for starting anorexic or bulimic behaviors. It’s a pretty safe guess that most of the contestants are going in to the show with an eating disorder. Probably the same eating disorder that I have, a binge eating disorder. When I was in therapy for my eating disorder, the biggest thing that I remembered is that I will always be at a high risk for another eating disorder because I have a history of having one. I’m also at high risk for another addiction of any type.

When you take away the food from a food addict (which is similar to a binge eater), they have to find their addiction somewhere else. You can see this a lot in people who have had weight loss surgery. When you can’t turn to your comfort item, you find something else that gives you comfort. And if it isn’t comfort that you are seeking, it’s order or control. And anorexia or bulimia gives you a sense of control (even if it’s a false sense).

I’m sorry for the rant, but I’ve been holding this in for a while when watching “The Biggest Loser”. And it seems like many people are now seeing things the same way that I do. I don’t know if they will change “The Biggest Loser” now due to all this backlash, but personally I would love to see them focus on body fat percentage instead of weight. Or maybe on inches lost. But sadly, seeing someone drop 155 pounds still makes good tv.

But at least now, some people will think about it a bit differently.

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Posted in Fitness, Food, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

Tagged binge eating, competition, eating disorder, reality tv, The Biggest Loser, TV, weight loss

400 Posts (or Wow, That’s A Lot Of Writing!)

Posted on January 24, 2014 | Comments Off

Today marks my 400th post on Finding My Inner Bombshell! I remember when I started writing I wondered how long I could keep doing this. Now, it’s a part of my day that I look forward to!

I’ve mentioned in the past how this blog is almost like therapy for me. I’ve gotten so much out of it that I would probably still do this even if nobody read it (but please keep reading it because I love the feedback and stories I hear from you all!). Writing on here has also helped my relationship with my family and friends. There have been many things that I never would have the courage to share with them if I had to say it out loud. But writing it helps to disconnect it from me and make it seem less personal.

In the last 400 posts, I’ve done a lot of things. So I thought I’d share some of the highlights of my first 399 posts.

The scariest (and best) thing I’ve ever put on here was in the beginning when I wrote about my eating disorder and credit card debt. I was so terrified to put that out into the world. I’ve hidden both of those things for many years and even some of my close family had no idea (or if they did, it’s because they guessed it and not because I ever told them). But after writing that post, it was like there was a weight lifted off my shoulders. And people started sharing their stories about money issues or eating disorders. I had no idea so many people had the same problems as me. By sharing my story, I discovered I wasn’t alone.

Another tough post to write was when I wrote about my mom being diagnosed with breast cancer. I knew about the cancer for a few weeks before I was allowed to share her story. I felt like I was faking it on the blog because I couldn’t be completely honest. But sharing that story again has made me feel less alone. Many people have shared their stories with family members dealing with cancer. When my mom was diagnosed, I started to research joining a support group. I never found one that I connected with. Then once I shared on here, I realized that my support group was on the blog. And I hope that I can support others in the future who are going through the same thing. And just to update you on my mom, she’s still kicking butt and only has 1 more chemo treatment to go before starting radiation (the final treatment step)!

The most positive thing that has happened since starting the blog was discovering SoulCycle. I never thought I would connect with exercise this way. But it’s happened and I’m definitely obsessed (this entire list is totally true for me). Celebrating a year doing the same exercise is a first for me, and I’m already looking forward to my next SoulCycle milestone (maybe taking 50 classes?).

I wish I could make some predictions to what the next 400 posts will bring. But honestly, when I started this 400 posts ago, I had no idea that it would become what it is today.

Thank you all for reading and following my journey so far. I just know that the journey will only continue to get better and there are amazing things ahead for me.

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Posted in Celebrations, Fitness, Food, Fun Stuff, Health, Saving, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

Tagged blogging, breast cancer, cancer, debt, eating disorder, exercise, milestone, SoulCycle

Reality TV (or How Losing 200 Pounds Can Be Something That Is Booed)

Posted on August 8, 2013 | 1 comment

I’ll admit that reality tv is one of my guilty pleasures. I love “America’s Next Top Model”, “The Amazing Race”, and “Food Network Star”. But I also watch a couple of weight loss related reality tv like “The Biggest Loser” and “Extreme Weight Loss”.

One reason that I enjoy the weight loss reality shows is because most of the time, the people at the beginning are in a worse place than me. I know this is a horrible thought, but it’s nice to see that I’m not the most out of shape person in the world. And it gives me a bit of hope that maybe I can win this battle eventually.

But there are a lot of negative things about these shows. First of all, they are extremely unrealistic. The contestants on them typically aren’t working their jobs (and they get a small stipend from the show for participating). Also, they are working out sometimes 5 or 6 hours a day. If you have a job, you probably don’t have the time to do that. Sometimes contestants on these shows also have either a chef or food delivery service so they don’t have to worry about their food.

Another negative thing about these shows is how the contestants feel about weight loss. On “The Biggest Loser”, when a contestant loses 7 or 8 pounds in a week, they feel like they are a failure. Sometimes the other contestants mention how that person isn’t doing enough. Seriously?!?!?! If I lost 7 pounds in a week I’d be so excited!

But something that really ticked me off happened on this week’s “Extreme Weight Loss”. If you don’t watch the show, it takes place over 1 year and each episode follows one person’s journey. This week is was a girl name Alyssa. She weighed over 400 pounds when everything started. The show gives weight loss goals for every 3 months. She met her first weight loss goal and then started to struggle with the second. And in her struggle, she started to have anorexic and bulimic tendencies. The host of the show did offer her help and had her do a blind weigh in (this is something I have to do at the doctors because I don’t trust their scale).

At the final weigh in for Alyssa, they did it in front of all her friends and family (this is the format for the show). She weighed in and had lost over 200 pounds in one year! But she was a few pounds short of her overall weight loss goal, so when the final number came up, the crowd booed. My mouth dropped open when I watched that. Since when is losing 200 pounds something to boo about? They should be cheering her on no matter what.

But I guess that wouldn’t make good reality tv.

Will I still watch these weight loss reality shows? Yes. They do have good tips in them and they do help motivate me. But I really hope that other people watching can see how what they see on tv isn’t always the most helpful thing when trying to lose weight.

While it may be reality tv, it isn’t reality.

1 Comment

Posted in Fitness, Food, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

Tagged eating disorder, Extreme Weight Loss, reality tv, scale, The Biggest Loser

Staying Under (or Does It Really Matter What I Eat?)

Posted on July 31, 2013 | 1 comment

I’ve been having some battles with food lately. Nothing as bad as it’s been in the past, but it’s not as good as it’s been lately either.

I’m making crap choices with my food. I’m still logging them in to My Fitness Pal so I’m able to keep track of my calories, and that’s helping me a lot. When I’ve made bad choices, I’m still trying to stay under my calorie goal for the day. I’m not sure if this is a good plan or not, but it’s what’s happening and I figure I might as well share it.

I remember when I was in group therapy at the UCLA RFO program and we would discuss calorie goals. I remember the group leader saying that it doesn’t matter if you eat 1,200 calories of fruits and vegetables or 1,200 calories of Dove bars. It’s still 1,200 calories and if you are below your calorie goal for the day, you will lose weight.

And I’m totally aware that eating 1,200 (or whatever your calorie goal number is) calories of good food is better for you. You will be able to eat more, feel fuller, and have a more nutritious day.

But sometimes, all that practical reasoning doesn’t matter.

So on Monday, for example, I ate a relatively healthy breakfast (at 11am since I worked a late shift that day), but in my craziness of getting ready I forgot to pack my lunch. There aren’t a ton of healthy choices that I can get in my 30 minute lunch break (7-11 for fruit and yogurt is one of my best options), but I didn’t feel like doing that. So, I went through a drive-through. I got food that normal people eat on occasion and nothing too crazy. I didn’t get fries or a soda. And I planned it out so that I was still under my calorie goal for the day.

This meant that I couldn’t eat dinner when I got home from work, so my last meal of the day was at 3:30pm.

Was I hungry when I got home? Yes. Did I eat a small dinner? No.

I didn’t want to go over the calorie goal for the day. And in a twisted way, I wanted to punish myself for eating the crap food at lunch.

My plan did work a bit. I gained a portion of a pound, but I’m pretty sure that’s from the excess sodium in my lunch. It helped me feel more in control that I knew I was under my calorie goal.

Yes, I realize how crazy I must sound, but in the years that I got therapy for my eating disorder, I learned that I’m probably going to battle this my entire life. I’m going to have moments where I’m weak and eat things I shouldn’t. But part of winning the battle is how I react after. I didn’t give up for the day on Monday and eat more crap for dinner. I said that I was done with my meals and went to bed a little hungry. And the next morning, I was back on track with better eating.

That’s how I know I’m getting better.

1 Comment

Posted in Food, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

Tagged binge, eating disorder, food

Putting Myself Out There (or No Time For Fakery)

Posted on January 9, 2013 | Comments Off

The other night, I was getting things cleaned up around my house and had the tv on in the background. The tv show “Catfish” was on and I was half paying attention. I saw the movie “Catfish” and questioned the idea that it was a true documentary.

In case you don’t know the story of the movie “Catfish”, it’s about a guy named Nev who falls in love with a girl named Megan on Facebook. Nev decides that he wants to finally meet Megan in person, and that journey is filmed. It’s discovered that Megan was a fake profile started by a woman named Angela (she also created a ton of other fake profiles to make Megan seem more real).

The tv show is the same idea as the movie, except that Nev is now helping other people find out if the person that they are in love with online is the real person.

I’m still questioning how fake this show is. I know most reality tv is fake (at least partially), and I wonder who really wants to be outed as someone who tricks people on Facebook.

I don’t understand the idea of creating a fake Facebook profile to trick other people. It seems silly.

But I can understand not wanting to be yourself online.

About a year before I started this blog, I had another blog. I only wrote 2 posts on it, but I didn’t tell anyone that I started it. I also didn’t use my name. I didn’t pretend to be someone else, I just only used my middle name. I didn’t want people to know that it was me. I wasn’t ready to admit to the world about my eating disorder.

I’m proud of how far I’ve come since then. I’m happy to be open about everything in my life. I don’t care who knows that I have an eating disorder, credit card debt, or panic attacks. What I’ve learned is the more I share these things, the more my friends open up to me about their issues. I feel like so many of my friends and I are closer now than we were before, and if I was still trying to hide all of this, that never could happen.

I’m going to continue to be as truthful as I can on here, and I hope that it might inspire you a little to be more truthful in your own life as well.

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Posted in Tough Stuff

Tagged debt, eating disorder, Facebook, panic attack, truth

“Queen of Versailles” (or How Documentaries Influence My Life)

Posted on December 21, 2012 | Comments Off

I love watching documentaries. I love documentaries about history, acting, curing diseases, almost any subject. I think my love of documentaries influenced me to help create “#140Characters”.

I watch most of my documentaries through Netflix (both instant and DVD) because I find watching them to be such a personal journey and I’d rather do that at home.

Recently, I watched “Queen of Versailles”.

It’s about the Siegel family who owned several time shares and were in the process of building the biggest house in America when the recession hit. After the recession, their business started to go under and they needed to start living more frugally. Or at least the husband tried to be more frugal. The wife seemed more interested in making sure she looked good (through clothing and plastic surgery). She didn’t seem that connected to their wealth, or lack thereof. She even made a comment in the documentary that should would have to watch the movie to understand their families finances.

There were some funny moments in the documentary. I loved when one of the nannies (yes, nannies) dressed up like Rudolph for the Christmas party and was dancing around while getting ready. Also, seeing the wife show her kids where she came from was nice.

But watching someone in such a bubble about their situation is scary.

The reason I wanted to see this documentary is because the director/producer was also behind another documentary that I love, “Thin”, which is about an eating disorder treatment center. It’s interesting how two documentaries I love are about subjects that I need help with.

I am nowhere nearly as bad as Mrs. Siegel with my spending (she once spent $1,000,000 in a year on clothes), but I should be more aware of my financial situation and how I can better it. And I know I suffer from an eating disorder, and maybe it’s time again to see if I can get some form of treatment.

I remember watching “Thin” and almost being jealous that they had a place that they could go to and get help. It seems much easier for anorexics and bulimics to get help as those are more common eating disorders. But maybe since some time has passed since the last time I was trying to get treated there are more options for me through my insurance.

It’s funny how watching someone with the same problem as you can really help you re-examine your life.

But this was just what I needed now to help me kickstart my journey again and get me out of this slump!

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Posted in Saving, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

Tagged documentary, eating disorder

Tag Archives: eating disorder

Counting Every Calorie (or Seeing Things In Black and White)

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Not Letting A Slip Up Be A Set Back (or I Splurged Again)

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My First OA Meeting (or Celebrating A Friend’s Milestone)

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Honesty Time (or Going Backwards)

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Biggest Loser Finale (or I Wish I Didn’t Have To Write About This)

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400 Posts (or Wow, That’s A Lot Of Writing!)

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Reality TV (or How Losing 200 Pounds Can Be Something That Is Booed)

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Staying Under (or Does It Really Matter What I Eat?)

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Putting Myself Out There (or No Time For Fakery)

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“Queen of Versailles” (or How Documentaries Influence My Life)

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thejenlevin

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