Tag Archives: confidence

Updating Me (or It Never Hurts To Ask)

Posted on October 2, 2012 | 1 comment

This morning, I had a phone meeting with Joanna Brooks, who is the photographer that I’ll be using for some new headshots. I’m getting some new headshot done because I’ve been using these two for a while and I want some new ones.

And yes, I am wearing the same shirt in both pictures. I didn’t think about that at the time I was taking the second one, but I know that color looks good on me based on Jill Kirsh’s color methods. They are both great pictures, and I love both of the photographers that I worked with, but I need a change.

This photo is pretty much the only thing that decides whether or not I get an audition. When hundreds of actors are submitted for the same job, I need to make sure that my photo stands out and gets their attention.

Joanna and I had a really great phone meeting. I love her energy and she has some great ideas on how to shoot me in order to get the results that I am hoping for.

I had also brought up my weight loss in our phone meeting and my concern about having to do new pictures every time I lose 25-30 pounds. I asked about possibly pre-paying for a bunch of smaller sessions so I could use them when I needed an updated shot. Joanna was so sweet about it on the phone and she gave me a deal for future update shoots that will work perfectly for my budget and what I’ll need. So the plan for me for photos is one shoot this month with 3 looks, update shoots while I’m losing weight, and then once I’m at a weight that I’m happy with and am able to maintain (which is always the tough part) then we’ll do another big shoot then.

I’m so happy that I was able to work something out that works for both her and I. I’m always nervous to ask for something different or special, but if you never ask, you’ll never know. I think the confidence to ask for things like this has come from my day job. When I’m taking orders, we are supposed to ask if the customer would like to also make a donation to help our educational programs. Donations are the main thing that help keep that program alive. At first, I was so scared to ask for the donations. But now, I’m fearless with it. The worst someone can say is no, and then I’m no worse off than I was before I asked.

I’m just glad that when I asked Joanna about update photo shoots for me, she said yes. Now I have another motivation to keep me on this weight loss journey, however long it may take.

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Posted in Acting, Fun Stuff, Weight Loss

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Being Underestimated (or Does My Opinion Not Matter?)

Posted on September 21, 2012 | 2 comments

Sometimes I love being underestimated. At my current job, I’m the only person without previous sales experience. So when I became one of the top sales people, my boss was very impressed. Those moments are pretty fun.

I joke that being underestimated is my superpower. And it does feel that way at times.

But then there are other times that I’m underestimated and no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary, some people just will not listen to me.

I’ve encountered that a bunch in the entertainment industry. People think that just because I look the way I do, I must not know anything. I must not know about headshots, or joining SAG-AFTRA, or even which companies are scams and which are not.

I’ve met several people who couldn’t believe that I’m an actor. When I go to networking events, people who don’t know me will come up to me almost right away to chat with me, thinking I’m a casting director, writer, or producer. And when I say that I’m also an actor, you can see their eyes instantly glaze over.

I can’t let other people’s opinions of me get me down. If anything, I have to find it funny. There’s one story that I always try to remember when my confidence is low.

There is a store in LA called Reproductions where you can get your headshots printed up. It’s a very popular store so there is always a line. I was in line one day to review my proofs and this girl gets in line behind me. While the rest of us in line were dressed pretty casually, this girl was all dolled up. Full makeup, totally done hair, high heels, miniskirt, and a corset top. Also, most actors bring in their headshots on a CD that just has something like “JL Headshots” written on it with a sharpie. This girl had a custom done label with glitter ink and little thumbnails of her headshot all over the CD. She looked like she must have been new to town.

After she got in line behind me, she tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if I was in line. I almost laughed at the question, but I responded that I was in line. She asked me why, and I said that I needed to check my headshot proofs. Her response was, “Headshots? You can’t be an actress. You are too fat.”. After she said that, my mouth dropped open and I could see that several other people in line were shocked too. I didn’t really have a response for her (I really wish I had a snappy comeback), so I just let it go.

This situation was so ridiculous in my mind that it never really bothered me. And I just have to keep remembering when people are underestimating me and not listening to what I have to say that it is just their opinion of me. And I don’t have to base my opinion of myself on what others may think.

Although I have to say it is a lot easier to type that last sentence out than to put it into practice, but I’m working really hard at making that happen.

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Posted in Acting, Tough Stuff

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I Wish I Was 4 Again (or Where Did My Confidence Go?)

Posted on August 27, 2012 | Comments Off on I Wish I Was 4 Again (or Where Did My Confidence Go?)

On Saturday after work, I headed over to my friend Erin’s house. Erin started out as my hairstylist back in 2006 and we quickly became friends.

When I don’t have enough money for her to do my hair, she’ll do it free as a favor. And when she needs a babysitter for her 2 kids, I’ll help her out for free too.

On Saturday, she was going to do my hair and then I was going to watch her kids so she and her husband could have a date night. After my hair was done, I started playing with her kids (who I will refer to as O and K to protect their privacy).

I’ve been watching her daughter O since she was 1 (she’s 4 now) and I’ve been watching her son K since he was a week old (he’s 1 now). I love her kids. They are so much fun and her daughter has the cutest most ridiculous personality. When O was 2 and I was over babysitting, she asked her mom “what beverage do you suggest I have with my movie?”. Seriously?!?!? What kid says that?

On Saturday, O decided to model her new back to school boots for me. I held up my phone to take a picture and instantaneously she went into a crazy pose. Then she posed a couple more times and demanded that I take pictures of those too.

She never worried about looking silly or if that wasn’t the best angle for her. I wish I could be that calm when taking a photo.

Whenever I’m having my photo taken (headshots or casual photos), I’m always thinking about how I’m posed. Is this my best side? Do I look thin? How is my hair? Am I more towards the back so I look skinnier? I once read that if you press your tongue to your teeth when you are smiling, your face looks much thinner. So I always do that.

I wish that I could have the carefree confidence that O has. It’s so freeing and beautiful to watch. I’ll have to act more like her in the future.

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Posted in Fun Stuff

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