Tag Archives: acting

Happy 100th! (or Guess I Might Be A Writer)

Posted on November 30, 2012 | 1 comment

It’s my 100th blog post! I’m kind of in shock. When I started writing this, I hoped that I would love doing it and it would become a part of my day that I looked forward to, but I was not sure. Fortunately, I’m loving this!

I never really thought of myself as a writer. But I’ve always thought of a writer as a screenwriter or someone who writes books. I’m not very good at either of those. I wish I could write scripts, but there is a disconnect in my brain for writing something for visual media.

But ever since I started writing this blog, people have commented to me in person that I’m a good writer. I’ve even had a few people ask me why I’m not writing this as a book instead of a blog. Whenever I got those comments, I blew them off. I always said that I’m not a writer.

But maybe I am.

When I was at the Women in Film mentoring event this week, everyone else was introducing themselves as a hybrid (actor-writer, writer-director, producer-makeup artist). I’ve always said that I’m an actor. That’s it. Even though I produced a documentary, I don’t think of myself as a producer. That was a passion project and I’m not seeking another producing job.

But I started introducing myself as an actor-blogger at the event this week. And to my surprise, everyone seemed impressed that I write a blog. Maybe I’ve been underestimating this, but I was surprised how much people wanted to know about the blog. But I was so excited to be able to introduce myself as a hybrid that I’m proud of.

In the first 100 posts, I feel like I’ve gotten so much off my chest that I’ve been keeping secretive. Now that I don’t have to focus on hiding those parts of my life, I’ve been able to focus on moving forward and growing as a person. I feel like I am a much better me than I was 100 posts ago.

Can’t wait to see where I am after the next 100!

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Posted in Acting, Celebrations, Fun Stuff, Work

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New Photo (or It Reminds Me of The Old Me)

Posted on October 29, 2012 | Comments Off on New Photo (or It Reminds Me of The Old Me)

I had my photo shoot with Joanna Brooks on Friday. I haven’t gotten all of my photos in an online proof sheet yet, but I should have that by Wednesday.

We did a lot of the shoot in her studio that she created in her garage (she has a very understanding boyfriend who gave up parking his car in there so she could make a studio), but we did go out to a freeway underpass to shoot one of the looks.

While driving back from the location to her house, Joanna let me look at some of the photos in her camera so I could see how I looked. I was scrolling through the photos when one made me stop and gasp. There was one photo that looked so much like a photo that I look when I was 100 pounds lighter. I was so surprised to see it that it almost felt like I was kicked in the stomach.

I don’t know if anyone else will see the similarity (I think it has a lot to do with my chin and shoulder positioning), but here are the two photos side by side.

 

I think that the new photo (in the green) is way better than the old photo. I look younger and fresher, which is funny since the one in the blue was taken in 2007.

Even looking at them now, I can’t help see the similarities in the photos. It’s weird. It’s almost as if there is a sign that I’m not as far from the old me as I think that I am. Even though I have a lot of weight to lose, that’s all that keeping me from getting back to the old me (although I probably won’t go back to the shorter hair for a while).

This reminder is really helping to motivate me. I haven’t been doing so great with cutting out my favorite drink, Diet Coke. I know that when I’m not drinking soda I seem to eat a bit healthier. I’m making it my goal to seriously limit my soda drinking.

But I will allow my self to possibly have a rum and Diet Coke at the after party for the “#140Characters” screening tomorrow! Tickets are still available if you’d like to come!

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Posted in Acting, Celebrations, Fun Stuff, Tough Stuff

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Another Day Another Audition (or This Is The Life I Love)

Posted on October 25, 2012 | Comments Off on Another Day Another Audition (or This Is The Life I Love)

I’ve got another audition today. This time, it’s for a commercial.

Commercials can be interesting to audition for. Sometimes, all you have to do is walk in, say your name, and they take a photo of you. That’s it. Other times, you do have lines to say. For my audition today, according to the online information, I have no lines to work on. There might be something to read at the audition, so I’ll get there early today.

The audition I had last week went really well. But the day after the audition, the show I auditioned for was cancelled so that episode won’t be filmed. I personally find this funny, but other non-industry people found this weird. They couldn’t understand why there was an audition when they show was getting canceled. I tried to explain that the show might not have known that they were about to end, but this is a weird industry to try to understand if you aren’t in it.

I’ve got today off from my day job today (I was the only person who could work and my supervisor didn’t want me to have to work 8 hours alone), so today is the type of day that I dream about. I have an audition this morning, a headshot shoot tomorrow to prep for today, and I can focus on me. I wish this was my life everyday. As a friend said to me yesterday, my job is getting in the way of my career.

I’m lucky because I know that I can always go to auditions, but it would be nice to not spend 6 days a week at a job and not focusing on my career. There are always more things that I want to do. I’m working on filming some new scenes for my demo reel, I’d like to be able to focus a bit more on taking classes (I’m about to start Porter Kelly’s commercial class on Sundays), and I’d also like to have some more fun in my life.

But for now, I’m just going to enjoy my perfect actor day and try to kick some butt at the audition today.

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Posted in Acting, Fun Stuff

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My Preparation Works (or Why I’m Glad I Watch Everything on TV)

Posted on October 18, 2012 | Comments Off on My Preparation Works (or Why I’m Glad I Watch Everything on TV)

I’ve previously blogged about how I watch everything on TV just in case I get an audition for a show that I don’t watch regularly. And yesterday, that came in handy!

On Tuesday afternoon, I got a text message from my agent letting me know that I had an audition the next morning for a network TV show (sorry, but I don’t want to say what show). The show I got an audition for is not one that I watch normally, but I had watched two episodes of it earlier and had my notes to look back on. So I knew who the characters were and the tone of the show pretty quickly. And this was important because the part I was auditioning for has a very specific relationship to one of the regular characters on the show.

It was nice not to have to spend too much time on the research part of preparation because I wanted to watch the debate and then I was going to go to the LA Actors Tweetup afterwards.

The audition yesterday was at one of my favorite studio lots to go to, but I had to rush straight to my day job afterwards so I didn’t have time to wander around.

I have no idea how I did. The part is mainly based on a look, so I don’t have a ton of control over that. I look exactly how I look right now.

But one thing that is a positive and is sometimes hard for non-actors to understand is the fact that I’ve gone in for this same casting director multiple times. I went in for a pilot with her, then a couple of co-stars for that same show, and now this co-star for another show she’s working on. In the audition, it is far more important to book that office then it is to book the job. You want that casting director to like you and want to bring you back. And I feel so lucky that this particular casting director feels that way about me.

So whether or not I book this part isn’t important (well it is, but I’m not focused on that). I’m making sure that this casting director remembers me as a good actress and when there is a part that is exactly right for me, I know I’ll book that one.

But of course, if I do book this job, I’ll totally blog about it. 😉

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Posted in Acting, Fun Stuff

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Working Girl (or The Secrets of Day Jobs)

Posted on October 9, 2012 | 4 comments

As much as I wish I could survive on the money I make from acting, right now, that isn’t a reality for me. Hopefully it will be in the future, but for now, I work a bunch of random jobs to pay the bills.

I have my main job which is working membership and ticket sales at a performing arts center on the westside. But that job is seasonal.  But right now, we have no idea when the season will be ending.

It’s put me in a weird spot. It seems like all of my co-workers seemed to have lined up other jobs already. But my other co-workers are not actors, so they don’t have the same issues with jobs that I do.

I need a job that pays enough but at the same time has the option of leaving for auditions or booked acting work when I have them. So many jobs in LA don’t want to hire actors for that reason. But I hate having to tell jobs that I’m going to the dentist/doctor/car repair shop in order to leave for auditions. This job lets me go and I’m not willing to lose that.

I’m lucky at my job now. I’ve also got my substitute teaching credential and the option to go back to the district I used to work for. I also do random side jobs like babysitting and personal organizing.

Why am I saying all of this? Because I find that actors are super secretive about their day jobs. I don’t know if they are embarrassed to say what they are doing or they just want you to believe that they are making their entire living on acting, but for a majority of actors that I know, I have no idea how they pay their bills.

There are some exceptions. I have a friend who works for Nielsen checking advertising before films and working at screenings. I have one friend who owns their own business and is very successful at it. I know of a few people who are waiters or temps. And there is the odd friend of mine who does make their entire living by acting, and they share how tough it can be for them.

When I was looking for a job earlier this year to get out of a bad job, I looked for so long. And I told everyone that I knew I was looking for work. But other actors seemed so guarded when it came to day jobs. Most people just told me that it’s hard to find a day job. No guidance into what types of jobs are best or anything. I don’t know why actors aren’t willing to help each other with this part of life. Maybe they don’t want other actors taking the types of work that they want?

But I believe in being fully honest about my life. I’ve discussed my credit card debit and my eating disorder. And I don’t want anyone to think that right now, I’m lucky enough to be able to not have a day job. I’m struggling with whether or not I need to be looking for a new job. I feel so lucky to have found the one I’m in right now, and I want to come back next year for another season. And I know that unemployment is always an option if necessary when the season does end for this job.

But I feel so lucky and grateful to have found such an actor-friendly day job, I wonder if I could get lucky again. The fear of having another bad day job is paralyzing. So for now, I’m sticking with my current job and trying to not let uncertainty get to me.

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Posted in Acting, Tough Stuff, Work

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Back to the Grind (or It’s Time to Be a Little Selfish)

Posted on September 26, 2012 | 2 comments

I’ve had a lot of fun stuff lately. My dad left to go back yesterday and now I’m back to the normal grind of stuff until I go to my friend’s wedding in October.

I’m getting over a cold/sinus infection/allergy thing right now, so my energy is a little low. But I’m trying to stay upbeat and beat this bug in my system ASAP!

After so much excitement, it can be hard to get back to the groove of things. I just had 2 days off of work, but now it’s back to 6 days a week. I’ve had company, but now I need to focus on myself a bit.

I’ve mentioned before about fall tv season starting. This is not only a time for research on new shows, it also means that tv is in high production right now and I want to help my agents get me as many auditions as possible. I need to be selfish for a bit and make me the best me I can be.

I’ve got Marci Liroff’s class starting this week which will help me out with the auditions I get. But I’m also looking at getting new headshots as those are the main tool that help me get those auditions.

I’m running into a problem though. I have headshots that look like me right now:

These are great, and when I walk into the audition room, I know that the casting director is going to recognize me as the girl in the picture. And that’s really important.

But after not really eating food for a while, I’ve lost 10 pounds. I don’t feel like I look any different, but that’s got me thinking. How much weight do I need to lose before I do new headshots?

Headshots aren’t cheap. I usually end up spending around $400 for the shots and a makeup artist (which I have found to be a necessity for headshots, not a luxury). If I’m hoping to lose 100 pounds, do I do new pictures every 25 pounds or when I just feel like I don’t look the same any more? I don’t have tons of money right now to spend on them, so I’m thinking of talking to some photographers that I’ve worked with in the past and that I want to work with now and see if someone will maybe let me do a bunch of small sessions where I only get 1 or 2 looks each time.  But I’m not sure anyone will be willing to work on a deal like that.

And I can’t just use pictures that are from when I was thinner, because I don’t look like that person at all. My hair is different (cut and color) and I’m not that young anymore. Here’s one of my headshots from thinner days:

 

I’m looking forward to figuring out what the solution is going to be for getting updated headshots as I lose weight. I also can’t wait to see what my new pictures will look like in the future.

But I also can’t focus too much on what might happen. It’s another of the “what if” situations. So I’m just putting my head down, working hard, and conquering any problem that comes up when it comes up.

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Posted in Acting, Fun Stuff, Saving, Weight Loss

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Being Underestimated (or Does My Opinion Not Matter?)

Posted on September 21, 2012 | 2 comments

Sometimes I love being underestimated. At my current job, I’m the only person without previous sales experience. So when I became one of the top sales people, my boss was very impressed. Those moments are pretty fun.

I joke that being underestimated is my superpower. And it does feel that way at times.

But then there are other times that I’m underestimated and no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary, some people just will not listen to me.

I’ve encountered that a bunch in the entertainment industry. People think that just because I look the way I do, I must not know anything. I must not know about headshots, or joining SAG-AFTRA, or even which companies are scams and which are not.

I’ve met several people who couldn’t believe that I’m an actor. When I go to networking events, people who don’t know me will come up to me almost right away to chat with me, thinking I’m a casting director, writer, or producer. And when I say that I’m also an actor, you can see their eyes instantly glaze over.

I can’t let other people’s opinions of me get me down. If anything, I have to find it funny. There’s one story that I always try to remember when my confidence is low.

There is a store in LA called Reproductions where you can get your headshots printed up. It’s a very popular store so there is always a line. I was in line one day to review my proofs and this girl gets in line behind me. While the rest of us in line were dressed pretty casually, this girl was all dolled up. Full makeup, totally done hair, high heels, miniskirt, and a corset top. Also, most actors bring in their headshots on a CD that just has something like “JL Headshots” written on it with a sharpie. This girl had a custom done label with glitter ink and little thumbnails of her headshot all over the CD. She looked like she must have been new to town.

After she got in line behind me, she tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if I was in line. I almost laughed at the question, but I responded that I was in line. She asked me why, and I said that I needed to check my headshot proofs. Her response was, “Headshots? You can’t be an actress. You are too fat.”. After she said that, my mouth dropped open and I could see that several other people in line were shocked too. I didn’t really have a response for her (I really wish I had a snappy comeback), so I just let it go.

This situation was so ridiculous in my mind that it never really bothered me. And I just have to keep remembering when people are underestimating me and not listening to what I have to say that it is just their opinion of me. And I don’t have to base my opinion of myself on what others may think.

Although I have to say it is a lot easier to type that last sentence out than to put it into practice, but I’m working really hard at making that happen.

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Posted in Acting, Tough Stuff

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The TV Season (or I Watch TV Like My Job Depends on It)

Posted on September 19, 2012 | 6 comments

Being an actor can be weird sometimes. You never know when you’ll work. You might audition for something and hear back a year and a half later that you booked it (that happened to me last year). When you do book a job, you spend more time waiting to work than you do working. And a 14 hour day sounds totally normal.

One of the weird aspects of being an actor is being prepared to audition for any show at any time. I learned something very important about being prepared for all shows at The Actors’ Network. Which if you are an actor and not a member yet, I highly recommend checking out a free orientation (you can say that I referred you if you’d like). In order to be prepared for tv auditions, I watch at least 1, normally 2 episodes of every show that is on tv. The crunch time is when new shows premiere, which normally happens in the fall and mid-season in January.

I’m currently in the depths of fall tv season. I schedule out every new show on tv. I figure out if I can watch them on my DVR or if I have to watch them on Hulu later. This is an example of my calendar for shows I can DVR (also highlighted are some shows that I love and just wanted to remember the premiere dates):

 

I don’t think my parents understood the craziness I do to prepare for possible auditions before, but now I know at least my mom is starting to get it (my dad doesn’t really watch tv, so I don’t expect him to understand).

I don’t feel like I’m overdoing it. I think that this is a smart way for actors to prepare for the unknown. I’ve had same day auditions before where I’ve had an hour to get to the casting office. Sometimes, that isn’t enough time to google a show and figure out the plot, characters, and tone.

So for the next few weeks, I’m watching a lot of tv. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And I’ll take some notes on each one. I used to just create a word doc for it, but I’m thinking of trying Evernote this year. I just downloaded it to my iPhone, iPad, and laptop so that will help make it easy for me to review my notes wherever I may be.

And if any of you readers want my recommendations or opinions on any of the new shows, let me know. I’m happy to talk “shop” whenever!

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Being SAG-AFTRA! (or I’m Proud to be a Union Member)

Posted on September 3, 2012 | 5 comments

Happy Labor Day blog readers!

I hope a bunch of you are relaxing today with a day off of work! I’m not working at my day job today (and I also have tomorrow off for my dental work), so I’m enjoying having more than one day off this week!

I’m going to spend today hanging out with some friends and catching up on work at my house (I’m currently redoing my closet and I joke that I’m in Phase 2 right now).

I’m very happy that right now, I’m in a day job that is supportive of my acting career and I have a supervisor who is super cool (and I’m not just saying that because there is a chance he might read this). But I’m also super proud of the steps that I’ve taken recently in my acting career.

Right before the SAG-AFTRA merger, I joined AFTRA. I was SAG-eligible since 2007, but joining AFTRA pre-merger was about $1,000 cheaper. So now, I’m a proud SAG-AFTRA member and have been enjoying some of the perks of being a union actor.

There was recently a makeup class done by MAC makeup artists and I went to check it out with a friend. And by attending the class, we got a year membership for the MAC professionals program for free! So now we get a discount on all MAC makeup!

I’m also excited that now, I’ll only book acting jobs that have residuals. I did an infomercial for a hair product in 2007 and was paid $250 and got a few month’s supply of the product. That infomercial is also in commercial form and is still airing today. I’m not making any more money on it because non-union acting jobs don’t have residuals.

I feel that even though I’m not where I want to be in my acting career right now, I’m taking the steps I need to get there. And I know that my big moment is just around the corner. A friend of mine was saying how I need my “Bridesmaids” moment where it seems like I’m an overnight success even though I’ve been working at this for years.

I know that my weight might be holding me back a bit, but right now this body is what I have to work with. And while I’m trying to change my body to be what I want it to be (and not what the industry might want me to be), I’m going to keep trying to kick ass and keep enjoying my new perks in SAG-AFTRA!

Happy Labor Day to all union members! I’m happy that I was able to join your ranks this year!

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Day to Day Life (or What I Do All Day)

Posted on July 18, 2012 | 1 comment

I mentioned yesterday that I’m packing my lunch for work each day. So I thought that I should mention what exactly it is I do.

Mainly, I’m an actress. I have amazing agents who loves me and push really hard for me. I’m not the typical actress, so auditions don’t come to me as often as some other people. But I love it, and I know eventually all my hard work (and my agents’ hard work) will pay off.

In the meantime, I have to have a day job (or a thrival job as some of my friends call it). In the past, I’ve worked at a major theme park, been a substitute teacher, been a temp, nannied, been a receptionist, worked data entry for credit card disputes, and so many other jobs that I can’t even remember. Currently, I work 6 days a week at a performing arts center selling memberships and tickets. I actually enjoy this day job. Working 6 days a week is tough, but it’s needed because this job is only seasonal.

The toughest thing about this job is the schedule and trying to eat healthy and work out. 3 days a week, I work 12:30-9. That’s great for getting a workout in in the morning, but not so great for an eating schedule. I normally eat breakfast at 11am, lunch at 4:30pm, and a snack when I get home. 1 day a week I work 9-5:30. That’s great for food, but I’m normally too tired after work to workout. On Fridays I work 9-1 and Saturdays 10-2. Those days are pretty neutral. I don’t work out in the morning, but there’s plenty of time after work.

At least I’m busy!

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