Yesterday, Orangetheory kicked off their transformation challenge. I’ve done the transformation challenge several times, and I’ve even got second in one! I like how OTF does the challenge because it’s not based on total weight loss but the percentage of weight loss. So it’s a bit fairer for everyone who is doing it no matter how much weight they are looking to lose.
OTF doesn’t focus on weight loss other than doing these challenges. The focus on the workouts is about getting stronger and being healthier. I like that that’s what the focus is because I think I would be getting frustrated if the focus was more on weight. My weight fluctuates so much throughout a month so the number on the scale can be annoying. But seeing that I can lift heavier weights is something that I take pride in and see a more linear path. But I know that so many people (myself included) do work out so that they can lose weight. But it’s just not the main focus for me anymore.
Between my fluctuations each week and me still trying to recover from my eating disorder, my weight journey is just crazy right now. For example, I gained about 15 pounds right before I had my period last time and it slowly came off over a week. That’s not too weird for me, but I know it’s weird. And I have been working on not getting down on myself when it happens because I’m always worried that the gain was due to food and not hormones. And even though I haven’t really been able to lose any weight recently, I know that I’m smaller than I was a few months ago. I know people say that muscle weighs more than fat, and I’m guessing that’s what happened, but it’s still a hard thing to believe in my head.
So for me, weight isn’t really something I’m trying to think about. I do have a scale so I can check in with myself or keep myself accountable or realistic when I need to, but I’m not obsessed with the scale as I used to be. When my last scale broke, I didn’t even think about replacing it for almost a month. And I didn’t care what scale I bought, even though in the past it has caused me to almost have a panic attack when I’ve had to get a new scale. It’s really nice to have that stress out of my life. I do still worry about weight from time to time, but it doesn’t control my thoughts as it did before.
I’m not sure what brought this change to me, but I think it has to do with struggling for so long to try to lose weight and not see any results. I have wanted to give up so many times on trying, but at the same time, I know that I have to continue to make good changes in my life as I am right now. Even if the number on the scale doesn’t go down, I know I am living a healthier lifestyle than I was before. And being healthier is what I need to focus on, even if my appearance doesn’t make it look like I’m doing that.
Because of my current thoughts about weight and weight loss, I didn’t even think about doing the transformation challenge. I love what the challenge is about and if I was in a different headspace I would do it. But right now, I know signing up for the challenge isn’t because I think I could win or that my weight would be any different at the end. I would basically be signing up to prove that my weight fluctuations are still there and that it doesn’t matter. And I don’t need to do that for myself.
I know some people use the challenge as a way to motivate them to go at least 3 days a week to OTF. If I needed that motivation, I think that would be a great way to get into a regular workout schedule. But I’m already going 4 days a week almost every week, so I don’t need the challenge to push me to do that. And I’m sure for most people, the prizes are enough motivation to make major lifestyle changes that can last beyond the challenge. But for me, that doesn’t work and I have felt bad when I did make a change for the challenge that I couldn’t maintain.
I am super excited for all my friends who are doing the transformation challenge and I’m going to be cheering them on to win. But for me, I just didn’t see a reason to sign up considering what my life is like right now. I didn’t feel guilty or bad about not doing it, I just have come to the realization that this type of challenge isn’t right for me right now. But maybe in the future, I will be in a better place with my eating disorder and my weight and I will sign up for a challenge and win!
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