Posted onMarch 10, 2023|Comments Off on Being Social And Out And About When In Pain (or Of Course This Would Happen When I Am A Bit Busier)
I haven’t been busy in quite some time, at least as far as my social life goes. I’ve been busy with work and things like that, but I haven’t been doing a lot after work and usually just lay low most days. I am trying to work on fixing that, but it’s not as easy as just saying I want to be busier. And of course, whenever I want to start planning things, I just lose motivation when I’m done with work for the day because I’m usually pretty exhausted since I get up so early. But I’m trying and sometimes it works for me.
But even though I say I want to be busier, there are plenty of times I’m so grateful that I don’t have much to do outside of work. Whenever I’m dealing with pain and nausea, I really want to just stay in bed and rest when I can. I do still go to my workouts and I still work, but I don’t do much else. I work from my bed or from the floor when I need to. Being able to move and work where I’m most comfortable when I’m not feeling well is just one of the reasons I’m so grateful that I work from home.
And of course, getting busier just happened to line up with when I’m dealing with a significant amount of pain and nausea.
I’ll share in my posts next week about what I’m doing, but in normal times I wouldn’t consider myself that busy. But I have a few things happening that cannot be postponed so if I want to be a part of them I have to do them now. And when I knew that this week was likely going to be a bad week, I was hoping that maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. Sometimes I expect a lot of pain and nausea and it really doesn’t kick in that much. I will always have some that I have to deal with, but when it’s tolerable or manageable with medications, it’s not that bad. I’m uncomfortable and maybe a bit awkward if I’m breathing through a wave of symptoms, but it’s nothing like when it’s really bad.
Fortunately, even though my pain and nausea are pretty bad right now, it’s not the worst I’ve dealt with. I am able to get out of bed and the symptoms are lessened by my medications instead of feeling like they are the same whether or not I take something. But I’m uncomfortable and sometimes the best way to feel better is to be in really weird positions in a chair or on the ground. That’s not going to be possible at the things I’m going to. But I’m going to do everything I can to feel ok when I go out and am around other people. At one thing, I’ll be around just my friends so if I’m really not able to feel ok I can let people know and they will understand. But I still want to feel ok so it’s not a big deal or something that I have to work around.
At least I’m not so busy that it will be overwhelming and it’s only a few events I need to worry about. And they aren’t back-to-back days so I’ll be able to rest in between them and maybe those rest days will help me feel better for the next time I have to be around others. And of course, when all my symptoms should be ending, my calendar is pretty empty outside of my usual obligations. But maybe I’ll be able to add a few more things so I can continue working on doing more outside of my house and I’ll be more up for it when I know I’ll be feeling ok.
I know that I’ve been saying I want to do more things and get out of the house more and I also know that pain and nausea can be 2 weeks a month of my life. So it shouldn’t be so surprising that they happen to overlap. I do wish it wasn’t like this, but I’m going to do my best to make the most of the fun that I have coming up!
Posted onMarch 7, 2023|Comments Off on An Unexpected Day Off (or Enjoying Some Free Time)
I’ve been pretty lucky with my day job situation for quite a bit of time. Things haven’t always been perfect, but they have been better than what many of my friends have dealt with. Even losing my job during the beginning of the pandemic isn’t the worst thing since so many of my friends who kept their jobs had to be around people. That wouldn’t have been my situation, but losing my job at that time led me to the job that I’m doing full-time now. And when that job came back and things started to get better, they worked with me so I could work limited hours and make it work with my new job. And I do feel like my efforts and contributions are appreciated at both my jobs.
I have a few more positive things to say about my main job, but that’s mainly because I have benefits that my part-time job doesn’t have. I get paid holidays, which is something that a lot of jobs don’t provide. And while I don’t have health insurance, I do get extra money once a month to help with the cost of insurance. It doesn’t cover it in full, but it’s significantly better than getting no help at all. And I think because of the type of work I do at my full-time job, I get a lot more feedback and feel a bit more important to keep the company going.
And I know that job appreciates us too from a lot of things that they have done for us. The most recent thing we got was an extra day off last week for employee appreciation day. I didn’t know I had this day off until the week before when some of my meetings were getting moved around. Because it was on a Friday, I still had to work my part-time job, but it gave me a lot of extra free time that I wasn’t expecting and I took advantage of that.
I did allow myself to sleep in a bit, but since I get up so early almost every day, sleeping in isn’t really that late. I think I was still up before 7am. But it was nice to not have to rush to get out of bed to get to my workout or to log in for work. So I enjoyed the morning and took my time getting things done. But I couldn’t be too lazy because I had an appointment that morning.
As soon as I found out about having the day off, I messaged my friend about getting my hair done. I was going to message her soon anyway, but I figured I’d have to go one day after work in the evening. But since I had the day off, I asked if she had any appointments that would work around my other job and she had something in the morning so it was perfect! It was nice not going in after being tired from working and other things going on and just getting to relax while getting my hair back to how I like it to look.
I did have to work for 2 hours in the afternoon for my other job, but I was much more relaxed working than normal since I wasn’t doubled up for my work and I didn’t have any stress from my main job affecting me. And I was done with work by 3pm so I had a lot of free time in the afternoon.
I didn’t do much else with my day, just spent time reading and then watching a bit of tv before going to bed. I also received a very nice card and generous gift card from my main job, so I did do some exploring online to figure out what I want to use the gift card on. I haven’t decided yet, but I’m sure I’ll find something cool.
It really was a nice and chill day off that I didn’t plan on having. I did get a few things done that I needed to do, but it was just nice feeling like I had the ability to relax a bit more during my day. Normally, I feel pretty rushed from 5 in the morning until about 6 in the evening. And even though I had a day off the week before, I will always appreciate any paid time off that I can have.
Posted onMarch 1, 2023|Comments Off on Working On Feeling Better Mentally and Physically (or Picking A Workout Challenge For March)
When I set my monthly challenge for February, I had no idea I’d basically be forced into sleeping better in order to get over the cold I caught. I was going to bed earlier and could sleep in because I wasn’t going to my workouts. I think the last time I got that much sleep was when I was out of work and was not getting up too early to work out in the morning.
And getting that much sleep that week proved how much I really needed to work on my sleep schedule. I’m back to getting up as early as I normally do since I’m back to my workouts, so my focus has to be on what time I get to bed. There are some nights when I’m getting to bed a lot earlier than I used to and there are other nights when I’m noticing I’m staying up too late. But even those later nights are still not as bad as they used to be. I’m averaging about an hour more sleep a night, which is a start. I want to get it up a bit higher, but that will take some time. But at least I’ve made a start that I can build off of. This is a work in progress, but it’s the most progress I’ve made on this goal that I’ve had for myself for a long time.
And for this month, I’m doing another health-related challenge and it’s inspired a bit by the time when I was sick. After I took a week off from my workouts, I did notice that I had gotten a bit weaker. This was expected since I had to take time off, but it was frustrating. And since I’ve been back, I’ve been really wanting to build my strength back up. But as I’ve been doing that, I also have wondered if I’ve been stagnant with what I have been doing. So this month, I want to challenge myself to find where I can be stronger and work harder in my workouts.
I know that there are some parts of my workouts that might be easier to build upon than others. I think it will be hardest to have improvements with my rowing, but I know I can still try. But because of some physical restrictions, there is only so much I can do. I’ll see what can happen when I try, but I’m not setting any crazy expectations. But I think I can make some good improvements on the bike and with the floor work. I want to see if I can increase the resistance level on the bike a bit more for some of the workouts and also see if I can pedal faster when I’m using the levels I’ve been using for a while. And on the floor, I know it’s not just as easy as using heavier weights, but I should be more comfortable with testing out the heavier weights to see if it’s possible or if I could do some of the reps with the heavy weights before using my normal ones. This isn’t the most straightforward progress, but they are steps toward improvement and that’s what I need to be ok with doing.
As much as I’d love to see super fast progress and immediately have improvements in my workouts, I think seeing how my sleep improvement went made me remember that any steps of progress are good. So even if I end March with marginal improvements, that will still put me ahead of where I am now. And if I can make small improvements every month or every other month, that will add up over time. All I can do is try and see what happens over the course of this month and hopefully, there will be some changes that I can continue over time so I see some big improvements and changes at the end of the year.
Posted onFebruary 27, 2023|Comments Off on Still Getting Some Strength Back (or A Pretty Good Workout Week)
Coming back to working out after taking a week off the week before was tough, but I noticed improvements in my strength and endurance as that week went on. So I was hoping that this past week would continue to go that way. I knew that getting back some strength would be more complicated, but I wanted to push myself to try to see if I could do most of my workouts with the weights that I’m used to.
Monday’s workout was a bit different for me since I had the day off and could go to the workout later than normal. So I was in a 2 group class instead of a 3 group class and didn’t have as much rowing as I’m used to. But it gave me a lot of time to work on my cardio and weights.
For cardio, we had 2 blocks. The first block had 2-minute push paces and 1-minute base paces for the entire block. And the second block had 1-minute push paces and 30-second base paces until the end of the block when we had a 30-second all-out. I did notice it was a bit harder than normal, but I didn’t know if that was endurance issues or just because it was more cardio than I normally do in class.
On the floor, we also had 2 blocks. In the first block, we had single-arm step-downs, push-ups, lunges, and then went to the rower for a 15-stroke push row. I don’t always do step-downs, but not only did I lower the bench but I did use the weight like we were supposed to. That was really pushing me and I was so proud that I tried. The weight was one of the lightest ones, but it was still better than doing it without weight. The second block was timed with cardio. First, we did 3 rounds of having one minute to do 12 hip-hinge swings and 24 mountain climbers. If there was any leftover time we could rest. And then we had 30 seconds to do bicycle crunches. After 3 rounds, we did the same pattern again for 3 rounds with a minute to do push presses with weights and hop overs (which I did as squats) and then 30 seconds to do plank punches. And in the end, we had another 90 seconds of work and we could choose which option we wanted to do. It was a lot of work and I only had a few seconds to rest each time, but it was another good challenge.
I was back to my normal schedule on Tuesday, and that workout was a switch class so we moved between each block. Switches and tornados are rare, but they add some extra challenge to the workout since you have to work extra hard when you are working to make up for the time you take switching during the class. We had 2 blocks for each section of the room and the first block was a bit longer than the second one.
The first cardio block had 1-minute base pace intervals at an incline and 1-minute base paces without an incline. The inclines went up each time and I started at my push pace resistance level on the bike and went up from there. The second block had 30-second intervals at an incline but we did all-outs this time. And we had 30-second recoveries between each one. I started with the resistance level one higher than I did for the first block plus I tried to pedal faster.
For the rower, the first block started with a 100-meter row and then we had 12 shuffles after the row. Each time we went back to the rower, it increased by 50 meters. The second block started with a 250-meter row and we had in and out steps after the row. And the row decreased by 50 meters each time. I didn’t get that far in the second block, but I did my best and I tried to keep my rowing consistent with the wattage each time so I didn’t burn out.
The first floor block started with the first 2 exercises and we added another exercise each time. I only made it through 4 exercises so I did lunges, high rows with weights, squats, and hip bridges. For the second block, we started with all 5 exercises and took away an exercise each time. So I also had plank toe taps along with the exercises in the first block. I did try to go heavy with my weights for the high rows and hip bridges, but I ended up going between what I normally use and one set of weights lighter.
Wednesday was a tough day for me because of not sleeping well the night before, but I continued to try to see if I could be close to what I know I can normally do. I really wanted to take advantage of this week because I know it’s one of my good weeks and I’ll regret not trying hard when I have a bad week.
For cardio, we had 3 blocks, and blocks 1 and 3 were the same. We had rounds of 45-second push paces and 45-second base paces with a 30-second all-out at the end. In the second block, we had rounds of a 30-second all-out with a 45-second recovery and I really tried to limit the breaks I took during that block since there wasn’t a ton of time we were working.
On the rower, for blocks 1 and 3 we were timed with cardio so we had the same push rows and base rows. I did struggle a bit in the third block because I was getting tired and needed to take a break during some of the base rows, but I tried to get back to rowing as quickly as possible to get in as many meters as I could. In the second block, we were off of the rowers so we did exercises and were timed with cardio. We had 30 seconds to do squats and 45 seconds to do lunges. The lunges were really tough for me, but I did my best to balance myself so it wouldn’t be harder than it needed to be.
And on the floor, we had one long block split into 3 mini-blocks. For each mini-block, we did 2 rounds before moving on to the next one. We had seated low rows with weights and single-arm squats, chest presses with weights and single-arm deadlifts, and chest presses and high rows on the straps. I actually was able to get through all the rounds with the mini-blocks so I then started to work on the exercises as a single block. And for the last 30 seconds, we got to pick any of the exercises to do for our finisher and I decided to do chest presses on the straps since I don’t do them that often.
Thursday’s workout was a tornado class, so we had 3 blocks in each section of the room and we switched between every block. It was very odd to have a switch workout and a tornado workout in the same week, but I just did my best. Every block for the entire workout was 3 1/2 minutes long so we had to work hard to maximize every minute. And each of the 3 blocks for each section had a different focus between endurance, strength, and power.
The first cardio had 2 rounds of a 1-minute push pace and a 30-second all-out with a 30-second recovery between them. The second block had 30-second intervals and the incline or resistance level went up by 1 every interval for 90 seconds and then we had a 30-second recovery before doing another 90-second hill. And the last block had 30-second intervals with a base pace, a push pace, and an all-out with recovery before repeating that pattern again.
On the rower, the first and third blocks matched with cardio so we had the same intervals and I really tried to be mindful of the wattage on the rower to increase for my push and all-out rows. For the second block, we did the same 30-second intervals but we tried to stay within specific strokes per minute rates for each interval. I was going a bit slower than the intervals we were supposed to do, but the increases were the same amounts as what we were told so I figured that worked well for me.
And for the first and second floor blocks, we had 2 exercises for each. In the first floor block, we had rollouts and squats to high rows with the straps. And in the second block, we had lunges and plank low rows. For the last block, we only had single-arm neutral thrusters until the last 30 seconds when we had high knees as our finisher. I really wanted to use heavy weights for the weights, but my arms were feeling a bit weak and I knew that proper form was more important than heavy weights.
Considering how I felt the week before (or even the week before that when I was sick), I was very happy with how this past week of workouts went. It wasn’t exactly what I was hoping to do, but it was close and I felt like I made some really good attempts to do what I know I normally can do. Of course, I’m tough on myself and wish I could have done better, but I know that I didn’t go easy on myself and that when I’m having another bad week I will look back at this week as a really good one. And I’m hoping to continue to make improvements and maybe be even better than before in the next week or so.
Posted onFebruary 24, 2023|Comments Off on A Long Short Week (or Ready For The Weekend)
It seems like when I have an extra day off of work because of a holiday, that somehow makes the week seem longer. I don’t know if that is because I usually use that extra time to get more things done than I normally would or if I just feel off because I mix up what day it is. But it seems to really hit me hard and I feel like I need to recover more from a short week than a long week.
I know that I am also still probably used to having Mondays off from when I had my old job, but I should be used to this schedule by now. And when I get a Monday off now, I get to have 2 days without work instead of just 1. It doesn’t always feel like I just have 1 day off a week since I only work 3 hours on Saturdays, but I still have to wake up early in order to work. I just get to have extra time to be lazy or do other things after work.
I know that this short week also was busy with a lot of things. Over the weekend, I drove to and from Santa Barbara. I have done that drive a bunch, but it’s still at least 3 hours of driving in a day. Maybe I had more endurance for driving when I used to commute to work, but now it seems like it’s a decent drive. I do keep myself entertained by making sure I have good podcasts to listen to, but it’s still a good chunk of time. I also had my parents here and even though I don’t have to necessarily entertain them, I still try to be a good host when they are here even if we are just meeting for dinner and doing work around my house like we did this time. And hanging up things on my walls and doing all the house projects on Monday made that day seem pretty busy and not a normal day off.
I’m glad it’s Friday even though I still have work tomorrow. But I’m ready to have a bunch of hours when I can relax and just get things back in order. I still am catching up on housework from when I was sick, so I want to get that done. I also have a few more things to put away after all the projects we did earlier in the week. But I also want to make sure I take time to rest and relax since it will be Monday morning before I know it.
I originally had some plans for this weekend, but they were canceled due to the big storm we are supposed to have. I’m not upset about not having plans since I probably shouldn’t have made them in the first place. I would prefer to not be out in the rain unless I really have to. And if bad weather is what I needed to remind me that I should take it easy this weekend, then I guess that’s not a bad thing.
Hopefully, I can really take some time to get things and myself back to normal before Monday and I have to be back to a busy work week. And if I don’t get as much done but I get more time to relax, then I’ll consider that a good thing too. As much as I know I need to get some things done in my place this weekend, the bigger focus should be resting so I can be back to my full energy soon. And nothing that is on my list of things to do this weekend can’t wait until later, so I won’t allow myself to stress about what I need to do if that’s going to prevent me from resting.
And even though next week will be a full work week and I could easily be more exhausted by the end of the week, hopefully taking the time this weekend to rest will have me ready to go and I won’t be as tired as I have been this week.
Posted onFebruary 23, 2023|Comments Off on Getting Some Custom Artwork (or Finishing Up More Projects At My Place)
After my parents were in Santa Barbara, they came to LA for a few days. Sometimes when they come to LA, they are here longer, but this time we had only a few things we wanted to accomplish and we had to work around my work schedule. But we lucked out and the Monday they were here happened to be a holiday, so I had the day off work. So we were able to do a lot in a short amount of time.
Every time my parents are visiting me, I always have a list of projects that I need help on. This has happened at every place I’ve lived, but I think the projects have become bigger now that I own a place. But this time, most of the projects I had ahead of time were pretty small things. I had worked on building a tv stand, but couldn’t get a few of the steps done so I needed my dad’s help to finish it. I also had built a shelving unit for my bathroom and needed help hanging it up and making sure it was secure. And now that I know where most of my furniture is going to be, we worked on making a few things a bit more secure for earthquake safety.
But the biggest project we had to work on was something that I didn’t have until my parents got here. I have a very long wall in my living room behind my couch and I looked online for a few months to find the perfect thing to put there. I found something I liked, but it was too expensive. But I showed it to my dad since it was made of wood and I knew he was learning woodworking. He showed it to his neighbor, who is his woodworking teacher, and they decided that it wouldn’t be the easiest project but it was doable. So my dad was going to make something similar to what I saw online, but more customized for my house.
I had seen progress pictures over the past 6 months of the different stages of the artwork in process. And when I was in Portland we worked on the color design since they needed to stain the wood. The one that I saw online was a single piece, but because of the size of the wall, we knew doing a triptych would probably look cooler. And once the artwork was here and we were able to hang it up, I know that was the right choice.
It doesn’t cover the entire length of the wall, so I might add some photos or something to the sides to make it more of a gallery wall. But it is substantial and really a statement piece. The colors are similar to what I have in my living room, but also a bit bolder so it adds a nice touch. A lot of the things I own are more neutrals and I knew I needed some color. The teal in the artwork really stands out in a great way.
I don’t know if the photos really show off how cool this piece is, but you can see a lot of the texture from this close-up photo.
Most of the visit with my parents was focused on doing all these projects, and I think it was worth it to do that. My place still isn’t fully decorated or complete, but it’s feeling more like it’s not something still being worked on. And the things I don’t have yet aren’t things I urgently need so I’m ok with waiting a bit longer to buy them. I just have wanted to make my place feel like home and every time I get a few new things or work on projects like this, it feels more like it’s mine. I also think the renovation helped it feel like that right away since I designed a lot, but the furniture and artwork helped so much.
I’m glad we were able to get so much done on the day I had off of work since the next day I was busy pretty much until dinnertime. But my parents came over after I was done with work and we went out to dinner. It might have been faster than most of their visits here, but we had some very specific things we wanted to accomplish and we were able to get them done. And even though I have a few other little projects to still work on, those are things that I either need to hire someone to do because we can’t do them or they are very small that I can do at a later date.
I’m not sure when my parents will be in LA next. Possibly at some point this summer or maybe in the fall. But I’ll see them again in a little over a month in Santa Barbara and I’m hoping that maybe I can finally make it back to Tahoe this summer! But whenever they come back to the condo, I’m sure I’ll have more projects on my list for us to work on and we’ll try to be as efficient as we were this time.
This past weekend was my niece Presley’s 2nd birthday. I was happy her birthday fell on the weekend because I was able to drive up for the day to celebrate with everyone. I wasn’t able to do that for her 1st birthday, but I still was able to go up the next day to be a part of a mini-celebration. But I was excited that I could be at her birthday party this time.
It was a small birthday party. The only non-family people there was another family that has 2 little boys around the same ages as my niece and nephew. But I think a bigger party might have been overwhelming for my niece, so a small party was perfect. And it was a really nice afternoon.
For most of the party, all 4 kids were busy playing with all the different toys my niece and nephew have. They have a few different little motorized toys, like garbage trucks and bulldozers. And they are still young enough that they weren’t turning them into bumper cars or anything. But what I think was one of the biggest hits was actually a gift I got my niece and nephew for Hanukkah this past year. I got them a mini-bounce house that was set up in the backyard. It was the perfect size for all the kids to play on it and they all kept going down the slide into the grass.
I’m so glad that my niece and nephew loved the bounce house since it can be tough to pick out good gifts for kids. But I had a good feeling that would be a hit and it was nice to see that it was!
Of course, since it was a birthday party, there were presents and cake (but cupcakes since it was a small party).
Opening all the presents was a bit overwhelming for Presley, so she opened most of them while I was there. But she did open the gift I got her, which was a little flower-building kit, while I was there and she did start playing with it right away. So I think that gift was another hit! I know that she has a lot of toys already, but I wanted to find something fun for her. I’ll probably try to find non-toy presents in the future, but it was fun to find something cute this time.
After a couple of hours, it was naptime for all the kids. So the other family headed home so their kids could nap and then my brother and sister-in-law worked on getting my niece and nephew down for their naps. Both kids were probably over-exhausted and were fighting a nap, but they went down after a bit of a fight. And when they were asleep, that was time for me to head out.
I could have stayed and hung out with my parents for a few hours, but I was going to see them again in a few days when they got to LA, so there really wasn’t a discussion or plan for me to stay in Santa Barbara through the afternoon. And I had things at home that I wanted to get done, so I was fine making the drive home so I could have the afternoon and evening to get things checked off of my errands list.
My nephew’s birthday is only about 6 weeks away, but since his birthday is on a weekday I’m not sure if I’ll make it to his party. I’ll just have to wait and see what day his party is planned for. I did give him his birthday present early since I didn’t want to have to ship it (and he wouldn’t really know the difference between getting it now or later). If I don’t make it to that party, I’m sure I’ll make it to Santa Barbara another time in the future. And I’m so glad that I was able to make it to Presley’s birthday party and have a nice family afternoon with everyone!
Posted onFebruary 17, 2023|Comments Off on Reorganizing My Space (or Enjoying The Possibilities I Have)
When I was living at my old place, I felt like I didn’t change my furniture that often because most of the things I owned fit a very specific space and I couldn’t imagine anything else fitting there. The only real changes I can remember making were getting a new couch and tv stand. But for both of those things, I was replacing something from my place before that didn’t really fit into the tiny house I was living in at that point. But when I was moving out of that place and into my condo, I did end up getting rid of quite a few things, and many of them I had for over a decade.
I’ve slowly been upgrading things in my current place. Some of the new things I got were things I had when I moved, like my new bed. Others were things that took a bit of time to find, like my couch. And there are also some things that I am saving up for and will eventually get but I’m not in a rush to buy them. I want to make sure that I get the right things and not waste my money, so it’s taken time to find the things I want.
One of my more recent upgrades was to get a new tv and tv stand. I first set up my new tv on my old tv stand since that was the easier project. And over this past weekend, my friend Pamela came over to help me build the tv stand. I was excited to build it since the box was huge and heavy and it was taking up a lot of room in my entryway. The project ended up being harder than expected and there were a few steps that we just couldn’t figure out how to make work. So my dad is going to help me when my parents are here soon. But at least I got most of it built and it’s looking pretty good so far. The cables are a mess for now since I’m waiting until it’s done being built before organizing it, but it’s so much better than my old setup.
But after building it, I had to find a place to put my old tv stand while I work on selling it. I also need to sell my old tv but that is easier to store away for now. I had a few options for where I can put stuff, but I ended up putting the old tv stand in my office for now since the wall where I will eventually have a bookcase murphy bed is still empty. And since I put that in that room a few days ago, it’s made me wonder if I should keep it there for a while since I won’t be getting the murphy bed any time soon. I probably won’t do that since I want to sell things while I can, but it’s interesting to plan for different options that I hadn’t considered before. I’m not used to being able to have multiple options for furniture and it’s kind of fun to imagine what I can do with different things.
I’ve been so used to having to be set into a specific layout and now I feel like my mind has been opened a bit more to what I can pick with the other things I want to buy. I have been looking for new nightstands and a dresser for my room, but I’ve been looking at a lot of the same things over and over again. And now I’m expanding my search a bit more and have had some more interesting and creative ideas of what I could do. Since I don’t need to buy new things immediately and can just keep using what I have for now, I have the freedom to consider more options and I think my search might take a bit longer now that I have started looking at some different possibilities for how I can reorganize my room with new things.
Posted onFebruary 14, 2023|Comments Off on Celebrating The Love In My Life Today (or There Is More Than Just Romantic Love)
I haven’t always enjoyed Valentine’s Day. It can be tough when you are in school and never have a boyfriend or someone who likes you. Even as an adult, there can be so much out there implying that if you are single there is something wrong with you. I’ve never had a significant other on Valentine’s Day, and this year is no different. I’ve had random dates that happen to be on February 14th, but they aren’t necessarily Valentine’s dates. And I guess there is still a chance for that to happen this year, but I’m okay not doing anything special tonight.
But just because I don’t have a boyfriend or someone I’m seriously dating this year doesn’t mean that my life is lacking love. I have spent several years realizing that love and relationships go beyond just the romantic ones. I really hate when a guy asks me on a date about my longest relationship, but I’m always tempted to ask if it has to be a romantic one. I’ve maintained platonic friendship relationships for decades before. I think that should count for something. And in the same way, the love I have from friends and family counts as me being loved.
Yes, I know it’s not exactly the same, but when I’m having low moments and wondering if I’m unloveable, I have to remember that there have been people who have loved me for a long time and that proves that I’m worthy of being loved. I am so lucky to have amazing people in my life who are so willing to help me out when I need it and that is showing love. When I was sick and needed cold medicine but didn’t feel safe to drive, my friend didn’t hesitate to help me out and she even went to 4 stores to find me what I needed. When I needed someone to drive me to a medical thing, I’ve always found a friend who would take me and even wait if the procedure took a bit of time. Even with things that I wasn’t going to ask my friends to help me with, like moving, I had so many people offer to help if I didn’t want to hire a moving truck.
When bad things have happened, I can call so many different people and have a sympathetic ear. I might not reach out as much as I should, but I also know that if I did reach out that there are people who love me and would do whatever they could for me. And I would do the exact same thing for them. I’ve always told friends that they could call me any time day or night if they need me, and I know I have the same ability to call them. Some of these friends don’t live close to me, so I can’t necessarily rely on them if I need help in person, but I still know they are there for me.
I do still want romantic love in my life and that is still something I’m actively looking for, but I don’t believe that my life is lacking love. I might not have every type of love right now, but I’m not missing love in general. And I’m choosing to celebrate all the love that I do have in my life today because it is important to recognize any love you are lucky enough to have. And I hope that if next Valentine’s Day I am in a relationship, I still remember to celebrate other types of love. All love is always important to have and celebrate, not just on Valentine’s Day. But this is a good remember to take some time and reflect on that because I know I don’t appreciate all the love I have as much as I should.
I’ve been celebrating my half-birthday for as long as I can remember. And I really doubt I will ever age out of celebrating it. I know it can seem like a childish thing to recognize, but I like having a bit of a checkpoint for myself. I do this with annual goals, but this also sets a separate checkpoint for myself when I’m halfway through an age. I don’t necessarily set goals for what I want to accomplish by each age, but it still gives me a chance to check in with myself and see how things have been going for me.
When I was younger, I definitely had ideas of where I wanted to be by certain ages. I had a bit of a tough time letting that idea go, but I think as I was getting closer to turning 30, I realized that those hopes I had for what would happen in my life just weren’t realistic for what was going on in my life. I remember being in high school and thinking I’d be married by 28 at the oldest. I’m glad I didn’t stick with that too much because the guys I dated in my 20s would not have made good husbands.
I think because so many of the ideas I had for my life were things that I expected to happen in my 20s, I really struggled with the idea of turning 30 for a while. It got easier as I got closer to that birthday, but I remember struggling with turning 28 and 29 as well because 30 was looming ahead and I was nowhere I expected to be in my life. It’s tough when you have all these ideas and expectations and none of them are happening by the random deadlines you set in your mind. It almost feels like you missed out on life or will never accomplish those ideas. And yes, some of the things that I thought I would do in my 20s are now things that I don’t necessarily want for my life, but I also have relaxed a lot more with the idea of things needing to happen by a certain age.
And I think because I have relaxed with those ideas, I’m not scared to turn 40 in 6 months. I’m actually excited about that birthday. It is a milestone birthday and I have no idea what exactly my life will be like in 6 months, but it’s still something big that I will celebrate even if it’s just on my own. I also think that aging doesn’t scare me as much as it used to. I have a lot of friends who are older than me, and I can get an idea of what my future holds. Turning 40 now is very different from turning 40 in past generations. And even though there is still a stigma with aging, I think that most people accept that 40 isn’t old anymore and that you can still have a lot of life to live after 40.
I’m going to enjoy the last 6 months of my 30s. Honestly, my 30s have been so much better than my 20s. It hasn’t all been easy, but I have been able to enjoy my life so much more in my 30s. I haven’t cared as much about what others think, so that allows me to live more freely. I have gained confidence that I never imagined I could have when I was younger. I don’t want to say I’m totally confident in my body and how I look, but I feel more in control of my appearance and I appreciate things in my body that I didn’t before such as my strength. I might do some things to feel younger like dye my hair, but that doesn’t mean I’m not proud of who I’ve become in my 30s.
If the last 6 months of my 30s are anything like the last 9 1/2 years, I’m sure they will be filled with a lot of awesome things. I know that there may be some heartache and pain, but I expect to finish out my 30s even more excited to turn 40 and see what my 40s will bring!
Sleeping Away The Day (or Sometimes The Pain and Nausea Are Just Too Bad)
