I’ve been working very hard at being grateful for things in my life. I’ve never been a really ungrateful person, but I always referred to myself as an unlucky person.
I felt that I was unlucky due to certain circumstances that I can’t change. I inherited most of the bad stuff from my parents. I got my dad’s bad teeth, both of my parents’ bad vision, the obesity gene from both my parents, and it even turned out my hip problem was something I was born with. And the job that I’ve dreamed of doing my entire life is not a job that guarantees success (unlike my brother who has always wanted to be a doctor). A lot of these things have caused me to be in the place I am right now.
But things could be worse. I know people battling cancer and trying to find a treatment that works. I’ve had a few friends recently miscarry their babies. I have friends who don’t have jobs, who have to give up their apartments, who have to leave LA and move back home because they don’t have any other options.
My health issues are here to stay. Those will never change. Eventually, I will have my left hip fixed and then I don’t have to have the idea of surgery hanging over my head, but even when it’s fixed, it will still be a problem.
But outside of the health issues, I’m lucky. I have an apartment that I love (and I can finally afford the rent without struggling too much). I have a great job where I have fun and can make some really decent money. My boss at my job is awesome and is always open to letting me miss work for appointments, auditions, or classes. I have great friends who love me no matter what size I am. I have amazing agents who believe in me and who I consider not only my agents but my friends. And I’m loving writing my blog, and based on my reader numbers and comments, I think people love reading it too.
I never really thought too much about writing this blog, just that I should do it eventually. Now, I’m so happy writing 5 days a week on here. It’s therapeutic for me, and is helping me along on my journey.
Thank you everyone who is reading this. I still can’t believe that I have readers, but I am beyond grateful for you all because you are keeping me honest. Not just honest with you, but honest with myself.
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