I want to believe that I typically appreciate the things I have in my life. I know there are some things that I take for granted, but I also am aware of how lucky I am in my life. I don’t think I have a lot of things in my life that would make others jealous, but I do have things that I know others would like and I am very grateful for those. And right now, it’s easy to forget how lucky I am sometimes because it feels like there is so much against me right now.
I have to remind myself that I’m not the only person going through isolation and that almost everyone is dealing with the same things that I am. But it’s hard to remember that when I am alone at my place and I don’t really see others struggling the same way that I am. I have been working on being more open about my struggles because maybe I am not seeing others struggle because they don’t want to share that. So by me being open, I can hopefully make someone else feel alone.
And I am lucky that I have friends who I can be open with and can turn to for help when I need it. I’m not good about asking for help, but I know right now that it’s something I need to get better at doing.
For example, I haven’t been to the grocery store in several weeks since I have been sick. I have been getting grocery delivery, but there are a few things that I either can’t get through grocery delivery or don’t want to get. For example, I needed some dried pasta and it’s not easy to tell grocery delivery that I would prefer this type of pasta but any would be fine. I could be ok with what I was able to get through delivery, but I also wanted to get a few more ingredients so I could make some more tasty and unique recipes.
So I texted my friend Liz who lives a few blocks from my house (and down the street from the grocery store) and asked her if she would mind helping me out. I told her that I wasn’t in desperate need of supplies, but if I could give her a list the next time she went to the store that it would be amazing. And she agreed right away. It wasn’t easy to ask for help, but having her agree to help with no hesitation helped me feel better about it.
She was able to get to the store earlier this week and I gave her my list. I had some things that I felt pretty certain she could find and a few that were harder. And I told her that I knew that she probably couldn’t find everything so it wasn’t a big deal if she could only get some things. And she was able to get everything for me except the 2 that I thought might be impossible to find!
Even though she lives only a few blocks from my house, I drove to her place to pick up the groceries. I had some extra alcohol that I didn’t need taking up room in my place so I brought that for her as a thank you for getting me supplies (I also paid her back for all the groceries, the alcohol was a bonus). I put that in the trunk and figured that if she put the groceries in the trunk that would keep us about 6 feet apart so that should be safe.
The grocery exchange went well and I’m going to remember using my trunk that way for any future help that I might need or if I can help others get supplies. And Liz hung out for a few minutes next to my car (but still a good distance away) and we had a quick catchup chat. It was the most in-person conversation I’ve had with a friend in weeks. Even though I’ve had phone calls and video chats, there is something so different compared to an in-person talk. I really needed to have those few minutes of feeling like I’m in the same space as another person. There really aren’t ways to do that too often right now. Hopefully, there will be some public spaces that I can have some physical distances with friends open soon. Like a park where we can all sit 6 feet apart and just hang out. I am craving those moments right now and it has made me realize how lucky I am that I typically do have those.
It was so nice to feel support from a friend in real life and not just online. I need to be reminded that I do have friends that would do that for me if it was possible. Right now, it’s just not possible unless it’s for a specific purpose. I can’t ask for help for things that are not essential (both for my health and my friends’ health). But this time is temporary and soon things will be able to be a bit more normal. And I will hopefully be able to repay the favor to friends who did help me with so many things, both in-person and virtually.
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