Tomorrow marks the 4th anniversary of me starting Finding My Inner Bombshell. (1st Anniversary, 2nd Anniversary, 3rd Anniversary) I know I’ve said this every single milestone that I’ve made it to, but I still can’t believe it! This really did start from a friend telling me I should do this and I just ran with the idea.
But blogging didn’t come as easily as it would seem from how this blog has gone. The first time I started blogging (right after my friend told me I should), I actually started another blog. I don’t remember what I named it, but I remember that I used a fake name. I was going to talk about my eating disorder and I didn’t want anyone to know that it was me. I know that some people blog anonymously, but it just didn’t feel right to me.
I kept that original blog for maybe a week or so and I had a couple of posts on it. But I wasn’t blogging regularly and I didn’t feel connected to it. So I stopped and started to think up a new blog idea for me. Once I came up with the name of my blog and secured the URL for it, I still didn’t start blogging. I thought maybe I should write a ton of posts and then post them without telling anyone so there would be a bunch of posts for people to read when they discovered my blog. But that just didn’t make sense.
So I just started blogging. If you go back and look at my first posts, they aren’t really the same as how I write now. I really didn’t know what I was doing or what the plan would be. While I still don’t know what the plan is all the time, at least I know what I’m doing and I feel much more confident with my writing. Sometimes I have nothing to write and I feel bad that you all have to read a boring post, but my life can’t all be awesomeness and adventures. There are times where I’m sad, bored, lonely, or feeling disconnected. And I do try to be honest about those moments because I know how alone I felt for years with those issues. I don’t want anyone else to feel alone.
Through this blog, I’ve found freedom in my life. I’ve become a happier person because I don’t feel the need to only show the best of my life. I show the good, the bad, and the ugly and it’s very rare when someone judges me for it (I do get negative responses to some of my more personal posts from time to time). It’s given me more confidence about so much in my life, and I know that others have gained things too from reading because they don’t feel as alone anymore. I still can’t believe I have inspired others, but I’m so glad that I’ve been able to do that.
When I started the blog, I really did think my life would be very different 4 years later than it is now. I’m still single, I’m still in debt, I’m still dealing with an eating disorder, and I’m still juggling multiple day jobs. But I am working on all of those things and I have hope that eventually they will all be worked out. Right now, being single is the least of my worries. I want to pay off my debt and be in recovery more than anything. And I really would like to find a better day job situation than I’m in right now. I really need to find a job with more flexibility than one of my jobs has right now.
By having flexibility back in my life, I’ll be able to not only do more things for my acting career but I can make this blog better too! I’ve had to turn down so many amazing events that I know you all would have loved because I had to work at that time. And while almost all of my day jobs are flexible hours (or hours of my choosing), there’s one that isn’t and that one is the one I’m looking to replace. Once I figure out a plan, I think that I’ll be able to take some big leaps and bounds in my life when I’m not tied down to when I can work on things.
4 years ago today, I hadn’t even started to blog and I had no idea if I’d be able to do it or even continue to do it for more than a few days. Now, I’ve got 4 years and 1,045 posts under my belt and I can’t wait to see what improvements I can make in this blog and in my life in the next year! Hopefully things continue to get bigger and better and the next 4 years are more amazing than I could ever imagine!
