3 Years Of The Pandemic (or Still Figuring Out My Normal)

There are a few dates that people consider the beginning of the pandemic. I think of March 13th, 2020 as the last normal day. I know things didn’t necessarily change that day, but that was the last regular day before everything started to shut down. In some ways, that feels like a lifetime ago. In other ways, I can’t believe that 3 years have passed since those crazy first few days of the pandemic. One thing that I know for sure is that my life is significantly different from what it was like at the beginning of March 2020.

In the last 3 years, I’ve changed jobs and moved to a new home. I have a much clearer idea of what I would like to have in my life and in a relationship. I feel like I’ve become much more introverted, but that might be partially due to still being worried about getting sick. And I know that Covid is still a risk for people. I’ve had friends test positive in the past week or two and some have gotten pretty sick. Fortunately, they all have been vaccinated, so nobody was so sick they had to be hospitalized. So while I’m still worried about getting sick, I’m not as worried about being hospitalized or dying as I was 3 years ago.

I still wear a mask almost everywhere I go. I might be the only person at the grocery store who wears one, but it’s something that I do that makes me feel more comfortable. A friend asked me when I might stop doing that and I really don’t know. The few colds I’ve gotten recently have all been from times I was around other people and not wearing a mask, so wearing one just seems smart especially when it’s cold and flu season. I’m sure eventually I’ll stop wearing one, but I just don’t see that happening any time soon.

A lot of things I used to enjoy just aren’t as big of a part of my life anymore. I don’t go out to eat that often, but when I do I don’t sit inside so I’m much pickier about places to go. I also haven’t been back to Disneyland since they reopened because I don’t want to be around crowds and the cost is very different now than it was for me before with my annual pass. But I also used to do a lot of things like those with specific friends who no longer live in LA. I have tried to find friends to do certain things with and it’s helped me to revitalize past friendships that I hadn’t focused on before, but there are still some things that I haven’t been doing just because I don’t have people to do them with.

I think I’m much more hesitant to do things outside of my comfort zone these days. There are so many reasons for this, but I know that most of them stem back to the first few days and weeks of the pandemic. I have gotten very comfortable in my new routine, which is much more isolated than what my life used to be like. I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing, it just is. I do try to push myself a bit more, especially if it’s not something too crazy. But I also have less guilt about turning down plans if I just don’t feel up to them.

When the pandemic started, I remember wondering how long it would take for things to become normal again. As time went on, I wondered if we were living in the new normal and thought maybe things would never be the way they used to be again. And now, it’s still a mixed back of the old normal and new normal. And many of the new normal things that are still a part of my life are by my choice. I don’t know if this will ever change for me, but I do feel a bit more in control over the situation that is going on around me. I still make choices based on my comfort and safety and I’m not worried about making those choices. And when I’m willing to do a bit more, I do feel a little safer than I did before even though I still worry about getting sick. I still have thoughts in the back of my head about if I’m making smart choices or taking too many risks, but it’s easier to feel better about what I chose to do or what I chose to skip.

I don’t think any of us expected this to still be a part of our lives 3 years later. For many people, it stopped being a part of their life after a few months. I know I’m in the minority who still worries about things and still takes a lot of precautions. But after 3 years of this, what I’m doing now feels somewhat normal to me and helps me feel better about trying to do as many things as I can that make me happy. I guess in a year, I’ll have to see what is still normal to me and what may be more like the old normal again.

Comments are closed.