Monthly Archives: July 2019

A Perfect Night At The Bowl (or Checking Some Things Off My List)

Posted on July 31, 2019 | Comments Off

As I mentioned in my post about the end of my Pantages season, I wasn’t completely done with musicals for the summer. I still had one more show left (at least one more that I knew about). And that was the musical that was being done at the Hollywood Bowl. I’ve gone to the musicals at the Bowl several times and they are usually very fun experiences. This year, they did “Into The Woods” which I have seen a few times and really like. And since we went to the show on Sunday, we were still able to get good seats even though we didn’t do them right when they went on sale.

Besides being excited to be going to the Bowl (which I already love) and seeing a musical (which is one of my favorite things), I had some extra things to be excited about. Some of the stars of the show are actors that I have dreamed of seeing live. I have a list of shows that I’ve always wanted to see and actors I’ve always wanted to see. And I’ve been so lucky to be able to check shows and actors off my lists over the years. And this show had a lot of the actors I’ve been wanting to see in it so I was beyond thrilled. The top 2 actors I have wanted to see live are Sutton Foster and Laura Osnes and Sutton Foster was starring as the Baker’s Wife in the show. I was so excited and couldn’t wait.

When we got to the Bowl, we were all already excited. We were at a show we were excited to see, the weather was nice, and we had a lot of great food with us for dinner. We decided to see if there was any chance we could find a table to sit down at to eat, and by some miracle, we found one! There were some guys upset that another table wouldn’t give them their chairs (they needed the chairs for their family so they didn’t want to give them to the other group), so they left and we were able to take their table. It worked out really well and I was thinking about how we were having the best luck ever.

But things got even better.

We were eating and I was looking at a group sitting on the ground next to our table when I saw someone who looked familiar. When they got up, I realized that it was Laura Osnes, the other actor at the top of my dream list of actors to see! She was there to see the show and she had been sitting right next to us! I didn’t want to bother her as she was there with her husband and friends, but it was so random and cool that an actor that I’ve dreamed of seeing perform was at a show that had another actor on my dream list. Hopefully one day I’ll get to see her perform too.

After we finished our dinner, we headed to our seats. We had bought 4 tickets but there were only 3 of us at the show. But because the bench seats are so packed, it actually was really nice to have the extra seat so we didn’t feel squished on the bench. We were closer to the stage that I feel like I normally am, which was a nice treat. I guess since it was a Sunday show we were able to do a better section for the same price as our cheaper seats on a Saturday.

The other thing about the show being on a Sunday was that it started a bit earlier. This was a good thing since it is a long show and we still were there late, but it was still light out when the show started. That was different, but not bad.

The show was just as good as I thought it would be. I love the story already and I knew I loved the actors. The combination was just perfect. The sets were minimal as they usually are with the Bowl shows, but they didn’t need much. And they used projections around the stage to add things that couldn’t really be done with set pieces. There were lots of funny little moments that were a bit of breaking the 4th wall or making fun of the stage or situation. All of those things make a show special and unique and they make me so happy.

One of the things that is so funny about “Into The Woods” is how it seems like the story is wrapping up when it’s really coming to the intermission. Some of the people seated near us were packing up their things and getting ready to leave thinking the show was done. I’m glad I told them that it was only intermission so they didn’t miss the second half.

Even though the show did end a bit later than I would have liked, I was so glad that we got tickets. It was such a perfect night out and I don’t think we could have planned a better night at the Bowl. It was a great show, had a cast that I had been wanting to see, we had a great picnic dinner at a table we lucked into getting, and we had a bunch of different celebrity spottings. It really was the best night and I just continue to feel so lucky and grateful that I get to have nights like that one.

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Posted in Fun Stuff

Tagged friends, Hollywood Bowl, Los Angeles, musical, summer

A Special Birthday For A Special Friend (or Celebrating A “College” Friend)

Posted on July 30, 2019 | Comments Off

I’ve written about my amazing friend Marie on here so many times. She is the one who hosts the parties I usually go to for the Oscars, Halloween, New Year’s Eve, and the 4th of July. There have also been so many random parties that she has hosted over the years, plus her wedding and bachelorette party! I’ve had so many adventures with Marie over the years, so when she was celebrating her birthday this past weekend, I knew I had to be there.

It wasn’t a huge gathering, but every single person who was there loves Marie as much as I do and we all consider each other family. It’s the most incredible group of people and I am always so grateful to be considered to be a part of them.

I think the reason I feel so grateful to be a part of this group is because of my history with this group and how I became friends with them. I met Marie and most of this group 17 years ago. I just joined an improv group and was taking classes and doing shows. I wasn’t the youngest person in the group, but I was close to the youngest. And I seemed to be the youngest out of the group that I was hanging out with. Most of the people in the group I would hang out with after class or shows were in their late 20s or their 30s, and I was still a teenager. This did occasionally cause issues when we were trying to hang out in a bar at night, but besides that, I was never looked down at or was considered something like the annoying little sibling.

Of course, I looked up to everyone like they were my older siblings. And I looked up to them even more because they treated me like one of their peers. Having that respect really made me feel special and like an adult. I think that was part of the reason I didn’t get along with people at my college too much. I was used to being in an adult world and I wasn’t related to my fellow students as much. In the last 2 years of college, I hung out with my improv friends more than the students in my classes. So I started to joke that these friends were my real college friends even though they all finished school quite a while ago. I even used my improv friends as the actors in different projects I had in class so they felt like a real part of my college experience.

If I had only been friends with everyone while I was in college, that would have been special enough. I was about a decade younger than most of the group and that was unique. But the fact that we’ve maintained this friendship for 17 years is just amazing. In a little over a year, I will have been friends with this group for half of my life. There aren’t that many people that I’ve known for half my life, and this is a big group! Again, it’s so special to me and I appreciate it all the time.

Marie’s birthday party was a very fun and relaxing hangout. It was a potluck and there was a ton of food! Everyone was hanging out and having fun celebrating Marie. It was hot out, but their backyard has shade and there was a bit of a breeze there. I don’t love the heat, but I was managing it the best I could with drinking lots of water and staying out of the sun as much as I could.

And of course, there was a birthday cake. Our friend Mandi, who also made a cake for Chris and Marie’s wedding, made an amazing cake for Marie’s birthday. It had 2 different cakes, a lemon cake and a chocolate peanut butter cake. And it was decorated with things all about Marie and things that we love about her.

After enjoying some cake, I started to get a bit exhausted (a combination of lack of sleep, a long day, and the heat), so I made my way around to say my goodbyes to my friends there. But I took my time talking with Marie because I really wanted her to know how much I love her and appreciate her friendship.

She is the glue that holds this friendship group together. I know that she is the one responsible for making this group as strong as we are and making sure we are as connected as we are. We can all turn to her when we need something and she is always there for us. I only can hope that we do the same for her, but honestly, I don’t know if I do even a fraction. To have a friend like Marie is one of the biggest gifts and I don’t know how to even express how lucky I am (which is one reason why I’m writing this post).

I have so much to be grateful for with this group of friends, and the center of this group is Marie. Everything that I have with this group is because of her and I am so lucky. I think I can speak for the entire group when I say that we feel this way and that every time we get to hang out with Marie we feel more and more grateful for this friendship. I know that every time I see the group I feel like I have a boost in my life that I didn’t know I needed. It’s the best feeling and I only hope that everyone has someone in their life that makes them feel that way.

I love that Marie and I have been friends for almost half my life. That means that almost half my life has been blessed by her friendship and awesomeness. That’s amazing. There’s a bit of time before we will have been friends for half of her life, but hopefully, when we get there I will be able to make her feel as lucky as I feel.

Marie, I know you are reading this, so I just wanted to say again how much I love you and am so grateful for you and everything that you do for the Mammoth Lodge group. We are all so lucky to have you as the center of the group and I don’t know how we could ever repay what you have done for us to you. Happy Birthday and I can’t wait to keep celebrating birthday, holidays, Oscars, and randomness with you!

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Posted in Celebrations, Fun Stuff

Tagged birthday, birthday party, friends, party

Some New Workout Issues (or Making The Best Of Things)

Posted on July 29, 2019 | Comments Off

I knew this week of workouts wouldn’t be my best, but I ended up having a few surprises as well. Some of the things I was concerned about weren’t as bad as expected. And then some unexpected issues came up. But I worked through most of the issues and had a pretty successful workout week.

Monday’s workout was a 2 group workout and it was similar to a run/row. Since most of my classes are 3 groups, run/row workouts are a rarity for me and I was excited to get to do one. The run/row was more planned and timed than most, but it was still fun.

For cardio, every block started with rowing. The first block was a 600-meter row, the second block was a 300-meter row, and the last block was a 150-meter row. We had a little more time than necessary to do each row so we had time to get back to the treadmills and bike and ready to go for the rest of the block. The first block was more endurance-focused with a 3-minute push pace to a 1 minute all out. I used my normal push and all out resistance levels for these. The second block was more strength-focused with hill work. I tried to do all my resistance levels higher than my normal push level, but I was starting to deal with a little bit of nausea so I had to bring things down a bit and go easy. And the last block was more power focused and we had rounds of 30 second all outs. I didn’t change my resistance level for these all outs but instead kept it at my base level and just focused on pedaling harder.

The floor was split into 2 blocks. The first block had lunges with shoulder presses and goblet lateral lunges. The second block was a tough one for me and I decided to challenge myself a lot with it. We had a lot of lower body exercises that used the bench, and those are exercises that I struggle with. I’ve slowly been working on doing them while using the straps for balance instead of modifying them a lot, but this block had a lot in a row. We were supposed to do bench toe taps, bench crossovers, and single-leg bench hops. And after all that we had sit-ups. I was able to do the sit-ups just fine, but all the bench work was changed a bit for me. I did almost a single leg squat using the bench instead of the toe taps, I did modified crossovers with just reaching back with my leg, and instead of the bench hops, I did almost a swinging lunge so I could get some of the same movement. All of the bench work was done while holding the straps so I could keep my balance and I did have to stop from time to time to have both feel down before continuing. But I still managed to do it when it wasn’t that long ago that I couldn’t do any of it.

Wednesday’s workout was a strength-based class and it ended up being very tough for me. I was already dealing with nausea, but I also had some side effects from my new medication as well. Plus, I think because of some of my nerves with the new medication I didn’t sleep well the night before. All of that made things rough for me, and the workout was a tough one even if I was having a good day.

The cardio and rowers worked together and switched back and forth. When you were on cardio, you did cardio, rowing, cardio. And when you were on the rower you did row, cardio, row. When you were doing cardio as a part of cardio (not in the middle of rowing), it was all incline work. I tried to work with the resistance levels a bit, but I ended up keeping things around my push and all out levels for the entire time. None of the incline segments were that long, but they were back to back so that made them harder. The cardio work in the middle of the rowing was a 90 second run for distance so that wasn’t as bad. I did use my push resistance level and did ok for that part.

On the rower, when it was a part of the rowing block we had different distance rows with overhead presses with the medicine ball between each row. We started with increasing distances (150, 250, 350 meters) and when we were back on the rower for the last part of the block we did them as decreasing distances. And the rowing in the middle of the cardio block was a 90-second row for distance.

The floor had 3 blocks, but block 2 was a really quick one. Block 1 had bicep curls and leg raises to hip raises. Block 3 had split stance low rows with weights and plank work. Block 2 was done when cardio and rowers had their 90-second distance challenges. The floor had 90 seconds of doing hollow hold chest presses. Normally I’m great at those, but doing them for 90 seconds it a long time and my arms were getting so tired. But I was grateful for feeling tired because it was a good tired and not due to feeling off.

Friday’s workout was called the Obstacle Course, and it was a really hard class. It felt like we had no breaks and that we worked even harder when we had moments between the main exercises. I also had to deal with my nausea and the side effects from my new medication which ended up making some funny moments for me. All sections of the room were one long block, but they were broken up a little bit.

For cardio, we started with a 4 minute run for distance. Then we had a recovery but the treadmills had to do it at 15% incline. Then we had a 3-minute run, 15% incline recovery, 2-minute run, 15% incline recovery, and 30 second all out. I used my push pace resistance level for all the distance runs and my normal all out level for the all out. And I went 2 levels higher than my all out for the recovery time since I knew it should be tough. The recovery did not feel like recovery and I had to take breaks from time to time to get through my nausea and drink water. I didn’t do as much distance as I would have liked to have done on the bike, but I think the high resistance level recovery affected that more than I thought.

The rower had a similar pattern to cardio. We had the distance rows and then when we had recovery time we had squats. I struggled on the rower. Not only was my nausea hitting me hard while I was trying to row, but I also ended up having to deal with feeling pins and needles in my feet when they were in the rower. I know that feeling is a side effect from the medication and is hopefully temporary, but it was really hard to row when I wasn’t able to feel my feet like I normally can. I couldn’t push back as hard as normal and I think I had a bit too much focus on how I was feeling and not on my rowing. I knew that the feeling was fine and I was ok, but it was distracting.

And on the floor, we had 1 long block but whenever the cardio and rowers had their recovery segments we had burpees. The floor work had thrusters with weights, high rows on the straps, double crunches, skater lunges, and running men. Each time we got through the exercises we got rid of the one on the end. But I never made it through the second time. I was pretty slow and I struggled with a lot. I modified the burpees and running men so I used the bench, but I still had to take breaks to let the nausea pass. Fortunately, by the time I was on the floor the pins and needles feeling was gone so I didn’t have to think about that.

Saturday’s class was much better with the nausea, but I had some of the same side effects with my medication to deal with. But overall it was a better workout and I was happy with that.

For cardio, we had 5 rounds of 1-minute push paces, 30-second base paces, and 30-second all outs. I used my normal resistance level for the push and base paces, but I decided to play around with what an all out would be like and did it at my normal base level but with increasing how fast I was pedaling. I’ve been doing that more often and I like having that as an alternative to higher resistance levels.

The rowing block was almost more like a squat block with a bit of rowing in it. It was hard, especially considering that I was dealing with the pins and needles feeling in my feet when I was rowing. We started with a 300-meter row and then 10 squat presses and 10 regular squats with a medicine ball. Then it was a 250-meter row and 2 rounds of 10 reps of each type of squats. I was able to do the 200 meters and was working on the 3 rounds of the 10 reps of each type of squats when the block was done. The squats took much longer than normal because of the pins and needles feeling, plus my hips were starting to hurt so I had to take a lot of breaks. That meant I didn’t make it back onto the rower as quickly as I would have liked and didn’t do as many rowing round.

And on the floor, we had 1 block that was split into 2 mini-blocks. The first mini-block had push-ups and pop jacks and the second mini-block had bridge chest fly, bridge tricep extensions, and leg raises. We started working through everything once. Then we had 2 rounds of the push-ups and pop jacks before moving onto 2 rounds of the other exercises. Then it was 3 rounds. I modified the push-ups and pop jacks by using the bench, but other than that I was able to do the floor work normally which I was happy about.

I will be increasing the dosage of my medication this week so I’m hoping that either the side effects go away or don’t increase. But if they do, I might email my doctor and discuss it with her because I can see it becoming an issue if it doesn’t stop. But I’m staying optimistic that it will go away and my rowing will be normal again this week, just as my nausea ends. So maybe I will be having an epically amazing week this week. At least that’s what I’m hoping for.

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Posted in Fitness

Tagged fitness, Orangetheory, workout

Wishing For A Vacation (or Finding My Own Time Off)

Posted on July 26, 2019 | Comments Off

I wrote about how I hit burnout recently. I’m getting much better from that low point and I’m glad I’m not feeling how I did when I wrote that post. Weirdly, it’s good that right now I’m experiencing nausea because it forces me to slow down and do a lot of nothing. It’s not really a great break from things since I’m feeling awful, but it does allow me to relax a little bit. And I’ve been trying to take advantage of the downtime that I’m being forced to have.

Since I’m only working one job right now, I do tend to have free time between customers. I’ve been enjoying watching shows that I have been meaning to catch up on or playing lots of random games on my phone. Anything that is a distraction from work has been nice when sometimes I only have 2 or 3 customers to help over a 7-hour shift. I do need another job, but I needed to give myself a break and enjoy a little bit of time that isn’t as crazy as it has been.

And I have been thinking about why I’ve been needing this break and I think I have thought of something. For so much of my life, there have been set breaks in my schedule. When I was in school, there were school breaks in the summer and for different holidays. When I was working at the Broad Stage, we had a little break in the off season. And most people who work full-time jobs get time off so they take vacations or take time off occasionally. But I don’t really have any of that now. Each week is the same as the week before and there isn’t much change for me in the day to day work that I do. Time blends a lot and I don’t have a big event or break to look forward to.

I have been able to take the occasional weekend away and I’m so grateful for those. But it’s been a long time since I’ve had a significant time off of work. And even longer since I’ve had a big trip. I know both of those ideas aren’t a reality for me right now because I can’t afford a trip nor can I afford to be unpaid to take time off. I just have to find my time off in other ways and that’s what I guess I’ve been trying to do with watching shows between my customers.

I wish I could do more with the fake time off I have, but I’m tied to my computer. I guess I could work from somewhere else because I have done that, but there’s nowhere else I really could work from right now that wouldn’t make things a bigger issue. I just have to find how to maximize what I can and it is limited. But at least it’s something and I don’t have to be stuck somewhere miserable every day or have a job that doesn’t allow for any breaks. I’m very lucky with the job I have even if I don’t get time off or vacation time (we basically only get Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years Days off).

I know that I’m complaining about things that are not that bad and that many people have it much worse than I do. I think my opinion is a bit skewed because of the lives a lot of my friends live. Many of them make 4 or 5 times what I make and they get paid time off, so they have the ability to travel and I am a bit jealous. I know that if I decided to give up on acting I could probably find a job that pays me significantly more and I could do the same. Right now, acting is still more important than money and travel although I do hope that one day I can have all of it. I am aware of the choice that I made and while right now it’s not making me completely happy it is still making me happier than I would be without acting in my life.

I think that all the random time off stuff I’ve been doing at home has played a bit part in helping me feel more like me as quickly as it has been happening. I have been allowing myself to be selfish and that has allowed me to have some more fun in my life when I probably should be doing more serious things. But sometimes I need that break and it has to be while I’m working since I don’t have a vacation or a complete break from my work.

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Posted in Tough Stuff

Tagged burnout, busy, mental health, scheduling

In Person Therapy (or Changing Some Things Up)

Posted on July 25, 2019 | 1 comment

It’s been a while since I’ve gone to see my therapist in person. I’ve had phone check-ins and video chat check-ins since my last in-person appointment and those have been great options. But some rules require that every so often I do have to go to an in-person appointment so that is what I had this week. I’m not sure if it’s a general rule or because one of my medications is a controlled substance, but either way, I was fine with going in.

I had a feeling going into the appointment that it would be a very easy one. With my new therapist, most of the appointment is about my medication and making sure that I am still doing ok with it. We have discussed my mental health from time to time, but we have agreed that my eating disorder is something much bigger than what can be figured out in talk therapy. I’m not holding onto something from my past or using it as a weapon, it’s just something that I have and my goal is to get into recovery. And hopefully, that recovery is soon.

The first part of the appointment was to discuss my dosage of Vyvanse and how I’ve been doing on it. I think I’m at the right dose right now and when I don’t take it on the rare occasion that it happens, I can feel a difference. I still wish it could do more than it does for me, but I also understand that the benefits that I wish it would have are not realistic. It’s not a miracle drug, but it is such a helpful tool for me. And I am so grateful that I am on it because I do know it’s helping.

I also brought up how I am doing the Brain Over Binge online course. My therapist is familiar with the book, but not the online course so I was telling her a little bit about it and what lessons I’ve been learning (which I’ll share on here another time). I think she was proud of me for taking a step beyond what she and I have discussed and she mentioned that she might start recommending the course to other patients of hers that cannot or don’t want to go to weekly classes that are offered through my insurance (I don’t want to do those classes as I have done a very similar thing before and it wasn’t the right thing for me).

The last thing that was discussed at my appointment was a new medication that my doctor mentioned to me when we had our last check-in. I was hesitant at the time because I like to have time to do some research about any new medication I start and make sure I am familiar with the side effects and what I can expect out of it. The medication is called Topamax and it is usually prescribed for seizures or migraine headaches. But there have been some studies that show that it can help with binge eating disorder.

The first way that Topamax can help can be with weight loss. The medication has the side effect of making people lose weight, so that can be a good thing for someone like me. It’s not a miracle cure and will make me drop weight without any effort, but it hopefully can help make any weight loss progress I am making on my own a bit easier and faster. Even though weight loss isn’t the main focus for me right now, I can’t deny that when I lose weight I gain confidence in my eating disorder battle and it helps me continue to try harder. So to know that this could help makes me hopeful.

The medication has also shown to help with controlling impulses which also can relate to eating disorders. This isn’t as common as weight loss, but any possible help I can get is a good thing and I encourage.

Because this is a new medication for me and we have no clue what the proper dosage will be to possibly help me, I will be doing a slow process over the next month or so with increasing the dose as well as changing when I take it. For now. I just take one pill at bedtime and I started on Tuesday night. I am hyperaware right now of anything I feel because I know it can be an unwanted side effect of the Topamax. I’m a bit paranoid too, but I’m just trying to stay alert and aware of how I feel and making notes when I feel anything that seems a bit off. So far, the only thing I experienced was a brief period of a bit of tingling in my hands/arms, but because that only happened once it might be a random thing and not from the medication. I’ll just have to wait and see.

My therapy appointment was so easy and simple this time. I’m sure it sounds like not much happened, but that’s kind of where I am with therapy now. It’s much more about medication management than anything else. And now I have a new medication that gives me some hope that it will help. Maybe that combined with everything else that I’ve been doing will be enough to help tip the scales (no pun intended) in my favor. All I can do is try and hope.

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Posted in Health, Tough Stuff

Tagged binge eating, doctor, eating disorder, medication

Last Musical Of The Season (or A Classic Pantages Night Out)

Posted on July 24, 2019 | 2 comments

This past Sunday was the last show for my current season at the Pantages. This has been a great season and I have really enjoyed it. Even the shows I didn’t love were still enjoyable and I was glad that I got to see a bunch of classic shows that I hadn’t seen before or had never seen on a big stage.

It’s been a slightly different season this past season because my group had a few date conflicts from time to time. We rarely all made it to a show, which was fine. But I do wish that we had been able to go as a group more often. And for this last show, it was just me and my friend Dani as the other 2 people in the group couldn’t make it.

But Dani and I had a lot of fun. We started our evening at one of our favorite pre-show dinner places.

I think this was the first time that it was just 2 of us for dinner at Wood & Vine. One of the things I love about Wood & Vine (besides the amazing food) is that everything is designed to be shared with the table. That allows us to order so many different things so we can try a lot and not be overwhelmed by too much food. But with just me and Dani, we had to limit what we ordered so we weren’t stuffed.

For our dinner, we got some of our favorite things like the charred romaine salad, the pork shanks, and the shells and cheese. They were all as good as we remembered them and I think we ordered the perfect amount with a mix of some healthier options and some splurges. And since we made our dinner reservation on the earlier side, we had plenty of time to enjoy the food and patio before we had to head across the street for the show.

But before we left, the manager at Wood & Vine sent us 2 of the new desserts on their menu to try.

We got to try the dark chocolate cake and the banana caramel cream. The dark chocolate cake was so luxurious! It was like the most perfect mousse and the caramel on the side was so good! But I think my new favorite dessert is the banana caramel cream. It was one of the lighter desserts we’ve had there and the perfect summer dessert. It wasn’t overly sweet and every bite was a little different. I hope the banana caramel cream stays on the menu because I know I want to get it again!

Once we paid for dinner, we headed across the street to the theater for our show. And just like so many shows this season, this was another one I had seen before.

I had only seen “Miss Saigon” one time before and it was almost 19 years ago. I saw it on my 17th birthday when I was in New York on my drama club trip in high school. I remembered the show a bit and had some random memories of things like how we learned how some of the actors had to wear their mike packs under their wigs instead of on their backs. It’s so odd what I remembered about the show, but I was excited to get to see it again to remember more of it.

Once the show started I remembered how much there is in the plot. It’s very busy to get in the story and it can be confusing. I, fortunately, remembered enough about it to be able to follow along well. I also took a glance at the main plot points online before going to the show, so that probably helped too. But it still was a bit overwhelming to watch it again.

Also, this show had some of the most obstructed views for us. Because we do cheap seats, we are off to the side. And because of how the set was done, we didn’t get to see a few moments that were far off to the side. We didn’t miss much, but it does make me a little sad whenever we have a blocked view like we did that night.

But even with how busy the show is and the obstructed view from time to time, it was still an amazing show. It was just as good as I remembered it and I loved the performances. Everyone was very talented and I especially loved The Engineer. He was so funny and Dani and I joked how there should be just a show of him and his fun songs. His character brought some needed levity to the show because it is a very heavy show. Even though I knew that going in, it still hit me really hard.

And I think it hit me hard because of some of the things that Dani and I discussed after the show. Whenever you see a show, you see it from a specific viewpoint and mindset. And when I saw this show before, it was a different time. And now, with there being so much hate regarding immigrants and the “other”, this show connected on a different level. It was similar to how I connected to other shows this season that weren’t as heavy for me in the past. It’s interesting to have very different memories of seeing this show, but they both are good memories and make me think of very different things which isn’t bad.

Our first show for next season is in October, so it is a bit longer until the show than I originally thought. For some reason, I thought our new show started at the end of August. But that’s ok because we have had a lot of shows recently and it will be a little break. I do have another musical thing this weekend, but it’s a little different (and I’ll write about that next week). Looking back at the entire season, it’s very close to what I thought it would be before the season started. Lots of fun shows, some great classics, and a chance to see a show again that I hadn’t seen in a very long time. Next season will be very different, but I’m excited about that!

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Posted in Food, Fun Stuff

Tagged musical, Pantages Theater, theater

OTF Beach Day (or A Bikini Adventure)

Posted on July 23, 2019 | Comments Off

I’ve made an effort to go to as many Orangetheory events as possible. I’ve gone to happy hour events and yoga events which have always been fun. But I’ve never made it to one of the outdoor events. That hasn’t been deliberate. Most of the hikes and beach days have been either while I’m working or on a day that I can’t go. But I have been wanting to go to one eventually and I finally had the opportunity to do so this past weekend.

There was an Orangetheory beach day on Saturday (which is why I didn’t go to my usual Saturday workout). The beach day was for all the Los Angeles locations, so I knew that I would know some people but get to meet a lot of new people as well. And some of my friends from the Culver City location said they wanted to go so we made a plan to meet up there.

Even though it was a Saturday and the perfect beach day, the beach wasn’t too crowded.

It wasn’t the easiest thing to find parking, but I managed to find a lot that had one space left and it was a 10-minute walk from the lot to where the Orangetheory tent was. That wasn’t too bad of a walk and since it was so nice out I just enjoyed being outside and being lucky enough to live that close to the ocean.

I take a lot of precautions with the sun, but I realized when I got to the beach that I forgot my beach umbrella. I had a hat and lots of sunscreen, but I was worried about being out in the sun for too long. But most of the other people at the beach day wanted to be out in the sun so there was plenty of space for me to put my beach towel in the shade of the tent. I stayed there for almost the entire time I was at the beach to be as careful as possible.

My friends and I all got to the beach around the same time. And since we usually only see each other in workout clothes or when we are gross and sweaty, we had to take advantage of looking nicer and take a good photo together.

And yes, I am wearing a bikini. It’s not the first time I’ve worn one recently, but it was the longest time that I was in public in a bikini that wasn’t fully covering my stomach like the one I wore in Hawaii. This was a new bikini and I actually found this one on Amazon and it fits perfectly! I had ordered another one as well, and I might keep it but it wasn’t making me feel as great as this one did.

Wearing a bikini or any sort of swimsuit can be tough for anyone no matter what their body is like. I know there is a discussion about what a “bikini body” is supposed to be. And I know that I don’t look like the ideal that most people think of when they think of a bikini body, but as long as I am confident in what I wear I don’t care what others think.

And it has gotten me a long time to get this much self-confidence. And I completely attribute it to my workouts at Orangetheory. Not only did I wear a bikini in public, but I also shared the following photo on my social media with the caption below.

This is my bikini body. Not at my goal weight, still battling my eating disorder, scars and flares from my auto-immune disease on my skin. But despite those negatives, I am so proud of this body. I have been working so hard in my workouts. I can lift more and bike harder than I ever thought I could. I am stronger physically and mentally than before. And my body is only going to get better. Why wouldn’t I show it off in a bikini at OTF Beach Day?

And that is the truth about how I feel about myself. I wanted to feel proud of what I have done so far. I’m not perfect, but I only have this body and I deserve to celebrate myself. I only got positive comments from people online and at the beach day. Maybe they said something bad about me behind my back, but I don’t care. I was happy with what I was wearing and I wouldn’t want to wear something uncomfortable just to make others feel better about what I’m wearing.

I didn’t do much at beach day other than hanging out under the tent and talk with my friends and other Orangetheory people there. My friends did go down to the water to enjoy that for a bit, but I stayed where I was. I was just enjoying my afternoon in the sun and being grateful for the perfect day.

But even though I was so careful with protecting my skin, I guess the sun doesn’t love me at all. The only time I wasn’t under the tent was when I was walking to and from my car and for a few moments to take photos. And I reapplied my sunscreen several times to make sure I was doing it more often than required. I don’t know how this happened, but I guess there was some sun that reflected off of the sand (I was too far from the water for it to reflect from the ocean) and still managed to burn me while I was in the shade.

This burn is only on my chest and face and it’s not nearly as bad as many of the burns I have had in the past. I’ve been working on taking care of my skin and it’s already starting to fade and not sting as much.

The only negative of beach day was the sunburn. Enjoying the beach was awesome. Hanging out with my workout friends and coaches was so much fun. And wearing a bikini felt so normal and comfortable which is better than I ever could have imagined. This beach day was exactly what I needed in my life to bring so much happiness when I had been going through a rough time recently and I am so glad that I went.

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This Wasn’t Going To Be A 4 Workout Week (or Some Pleasant Surprises)

Posted on July 22, 2019 | 1 comment

This past week of workouts didn’t end up being the way I expected them to be. First of all, I was preparing for some bad pain and nausea. While I did have some issues throughout the week, they weren’t as bad as they have been in the past. It seems like the pain and nausea waited until I was home and working to really hit me. So it was nice to be able to do more than I thought I could. Also, this past week was going to be a 3 workout week originally. I wasn’t going to make it to my Saturday workout (more on that tomorrow) and I didn’t plan another day to go. I can do a 3 workout week and still hit my goals, but in the end, guilt took over and I figured out a way to make it 4 workouts.

Monday’s workout was a partner workout and it was a tough one! We had 2 blocks, but the floor work stayed the same for both blocks. And since the person on the floor controlled the switch, it was hard to make sure I didn’t slack off on the floor. The way the partner workout worked was one person was on the floor and the other was on the treadmill. When the switched happened, the treadmill person was on the floor and the floor person was on the rower. That went back and forth until that block ended. And then the other block switched up what we did when we weren’t on the floor. For me, the first block I was doing floor/rower and the second block I was doing bike/floor.

When we were on the floor, we only did 1 exercise before switching. We had 100 running man, 90 over/under crunches, 80 crunches with heel taps, 70 bench hops, 60 bicycles, 50 toe reaches, 40 plank jacks, 30 speed skaters, 20 high rows on the straps, and 10 bench sit-up to stands. I did have to modify a few of the exercises like using the bench for the plank work and separating the sit-up to stands so I did sit-ups and then squats when I was done with those. My biggest motivation to keep going was knowing my partner was waiting on me, but I did have to take some breaks from time to time because my hip was starting to hurt.

The partner that wasn’t on the floor was working at a push pace until they switched. On the rower, I just rowed until my partner was ready to switch and I didn’t worry too much about the wattage. And on the bike, I did use my push pace resistance level. I tried to keep the breaks I needed to catch my breath and drink some water to be while I was on the rower or bike since that wasn’t when someone else depended on me. But I also didn’t want to miss out on time to get my cardio in. Fortunately, the floor work felt like cardio too so I think I did get more cardio than normal.

Wednesday’s workout was a new signature workout: Orange Arc. This workout is very rower focused, but since I had a 3 group class it wasn’t too different from what I’m used to (the 2 group classes had 22 minutes of rowing which almost never happens). I was grateful to have my 3 group class, but just because I had less rowing time didn’t make the workout any easier.

For cardio, we started with a 3-minute push pace. Then we had rounds of push pace to base pace. Each round got a little bit longer, but it was never more than 90 seconds. We ended with a 30 second all out and then after recovery, we had a 1 minute all out. Once that was done, we got off the treadmills/bike and held a squat for a minute while cheering on the rowers.

On the rowers, we started with a 3-minute push just like we did for cardio. Then we had the same intervals that we had on cardio with the push and base paces. And at the end, we had a 3-minute row for distance. This was 14 minutes of rowing with only 2 very short breaks the entire time. I have done longer rowing days before, but those are so rare so this was one of my longest times on the rower. I did have to take breaks throughout the entire block to let some pain pass over me. But I did try to increase my speed and power when we had push paces on the rower compared to when we were in a base pace. It didn’t always work out and happen, but at least I made the effort to try. And I did appreciate during the last minute that we had the people who were on the treadmills in front of our rowers cheering us on. It helped distract me a bit and just finish the row without stopping.

And on the floor, we had 1 long block. Everything started at 10 reps and went up 2 reps each round. We had chest presses and low rows on the straps, hip swings and triceps with weights, side plank hip dips, and sit-ups. I was so tired from working so hard with the rower that I had to go a bit easy on the floor and not use my usual weights. I also was starting to feel a bit nauseous during the hip swings so the lighter weight was needed to help that as well. With most of the exercises, I could at least finish all the reps before resting. The only one I couldn’t do that with was the sit-ups. I really struggled with those and had to break them into sets of 3 or 4 until I finished all the reps. I have known for a while the sit-ups are hard on me because of my hips, but this time they seemed extra hard. I think the rower made me work my hips more than normal so that was the issue, but I wasn’t too worried about it during the workout and my hips were doing ok after I rested at home.

Friday’s workout was a power day and we had 4 blocks at each section of the room. It was a lot of work, but it was also fast-moving so that helped a lot too. With the 4 blocks, blocks 1 and 3 were one way and blocks 2 and 4 were another. Also, blocks 1 and 3 were 4 minutes each and 2 and 4 were 90 seconds.

For cardio, blocks 1 and 3 were 1-minute push to base pace intervals, 45-second push to base pace intervals, and an all out to end the block. And blocks 2 and 4 had 30 seconds of a push, 30 seconds of a base, and 30 seconds of an all out. I was using my normal resistance levels and felt pretty good with those because I could pedal fast and since the blocks were done quickly I wasn’t getting tired.

On the rower, blocks 1 and 3 had a 1-minute row, 45-second row, and 30-second row. And between each row, we had frogger squats. The squats took me a bit longer than normal so I never made it to the last round of them, but I was rowing quick and that was more important to me. And for blocks 2 and 4, we followed the pattern of the treadmills with the 30-second intervals.

And on the floor, blocks 2 and 4 had lateral and forward walks using the mini-bands. Block 1 had chest presses using weights and push-ups and block 3 had skater lunges and ab side twists with weights. I was worried about the push-ups even using the bench because I was starting to get a bit nauseous by the end of the workout, but we only and 4 reps of them and I was able to push through. Fortunately, the rest of the floor work was easier on me.

And to make up for not working out on Saturday, I took a Sunday class! It ended up fitting in my schedule when before I wasn’t sure about that. Plus, one of my friends from my Wednesday/Friday class was going to be in Sunday’s class so I was excited to be in class with a friend. The class was a power day and it had a lot of switching between cardio and rowing which was fun.

If you started on cardio (like I did), the first block was cardio, rowing, cardio. And then the second block was rowing, cardio, rowing. So once you were done with the cardio and rowing block, you were in both sections for 3 mini-blocks. Every time we were on cardio we had a 2-minute push pace, 1-minute base pace, and 1-minute all out. I was using my normal resistance levels for these and worked extra hard on pedaling faster. Every time we were on the rower, we had a row with lunges. We started with a 600-meter row and every round it went down 100 meters. And the lunges were supposed to be with side twists. But I changed those to be squats because I knew those would be easier on my hips. I struggled a bit with nausea during the long rows, but it passed quickly so I could get back to my rowing.

And on the floor, we had one long block that was split into 2 mini-blocks. Each mini-block was supposed to be done without a break (we were supposed to take the breaks in-between the mini-blocks). The first mini-block had tricep extensions with weights, chest flys with weights, chest presses with weights, and chest presses with the straps. And the second mini-block had ab scissor kicks, sit-ups, and toe reaches. I struggled a bit more on the floor that I would have expected, but I think that was partially my fault. I wanted to use 15 lb weights for the arm work, but they were all being used by other people. I had a choice between 12 lb and 20 lb, and I decided to go heavier to push myself. That might have been a bit too much for me. But I’m still glad I did that because I know if I used the lighter weights I would have been disappointed in myself.

I know that I would have been ok doing 3 workouts instead of 4, but I’m so glad I added the extra one in. I was feeling a bit guilty about missing Saturday and felt a bit out of sorts with a change in my routine. Even though doing a Sunday workout is weird for me, that felt a bit more normal than having 3 workouts. And the bonus class ended up being such a great one for me and I am so happy I went! Now, back to my normal routine and hopefully still awesome workouts this week!

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Posted in Fitness, Fun Stuff

Tagged fitness, Orangetheory, workout

I Tried, I Still Hit Burnout (or Finding Some New Limits)

Posted on July 19, 2019 | 1 comment

It was only a few days ago when I wrote about having to not go to plans that I was looking forward to and needing to be selfish so I could prevent burnout. I had hoped that recognizing it when I did would help me not get to the point where I needed a real break and that I could take the time I needed to recover. But of course, plans don’t always go the way you expect and you can’t always help what happens.

After I wrote that post, I had a lot of things that hit me back to back that just got me to a bit of a breaking point. First, we are now experiencing the heat of summer. Things are so much better for me now than they were before since I have my little a/c unit, but they still aren’t perfect. I did finally get over my fear of the cost of a/c since I know the unit I have isn’t as bad as most, so I do run it a lot during the day now without worrying about the cost. I know my power bill will be higher, but it’s worth it. When I have to sit at my computer for a full work shift, my computer starts to get hot and that makes me even warmer than normal. As soon as I am done with work, I go to my room to lay in front of my fan. That helps me recover, but it’s still not easy while I’m working. It’s also affecting my sleep right now, which isn’t helping me recover each night. But I’m doing whatever I can to try to stay cool, including drinking more water than normal which I know has more benefits than just cooling me down.

I also am starting to deal with my monthly pain and nausea. I will say it’s not as bad as it has been recently, but I think the combination of that plus the heat is making it feel worse to me. I’m trying to do all the things I know that help me feel better and most of them are working. The one that I am not doing right now is using a heating pad. I don’t necessarily feel like I need a heating pad right now, but even if I did I don’t know if I could tolerate it with the heat we have right now. I guess I should be grateful that I don’t feel like I need it, but I am just feeling so irritable right now that the pain and nausea are just annoying me.

I think the final thing that made me hit a point of burnout was some work-related stuff that happened. Nothing too horrible happened, but several issues required more time than it should have taken or needed me to repeat the same task multiple times because of random errors that were not able to be fixed by me. It was overwhelming waiting to see if I had to do something over again and waiting on others to fix the mistakes. Just like with my pain and nausea, I don’t know if this would normally bother me, but with it compounding with everything else it just hit me hard. After that, I hit a real low point and just had to have some time to be a hermit at home.

I did take a bit of time to myself yesterday and canceled some plans that I had made for a date (I wasn’t super excited about the date so this was a good excuse to cancel). I stayed home with the a/c on and just watching dumb videos on YouTube or reading. I’m still not feeling totally like myself just yet and I’m being cautious about what I plan. I wanted to not get to this point because I knew recovering from it was going to take time that I don’t have. Unfortunately, due to circumstances out of my control, I got there and now I need to take the time to fix it. I know it could get worse, and I’m doing everything I can to stop that. I have set new limits with myself and with others so I don’t get too overwhelmed. I also keep reminding myself that so much of what I’m dealing with is a temporary situation and will be over soon. That thought does help.

I have some fun things coming up over the next few weeks, but they are more spread out than things were the past few weeks. I’m finding what I can take off of my schedule to allow myself more downtime and more time to mentally and physically recover from things. And I do hope that these efforts I am making will help me get back to the normal me soon. All I can do is try and hope for the best. And maybe having that hope will help make it become a reality.

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Posted in Tough Stuff

Tagged burnout, mental health, overwhelmed, scheduling

Finally Seeing A Popular Show (or It’s “Rent” Time!)

Posted on July 18, 2019 | 1 comment

There have been so many shows this season at the Pantages that are either classics or very popular shows. I’ve been loving the season, especially since it is letting me see a bunch of shows that I hadn’t seen before but have been wanting to see for a while. And no matter what show we are seeing, I love going to live theater and I can’t imagine what it would be like without having shows to see on a regular basis.

The current season is almost over, although the next season starts soon so it won’t feel like a big gap in time between shows. And the show we got to see this past weekend was one that I was so excited to see because I had never seen it on a big stage before.

I feel like “Rent” is a show that every theater nerd has seen at some point. And technically, I had seen it too. But I had only seen it in a small community theater production and in the film/live tv versions before. So I was familiar with the show, but it is still different seeing it in a large theater compared to on a screen or in a small theater where they didn’t have sets and I believe they may not have done all the songs.

My group for seeing the shows this season has been 4 of us, but one person in the group couldn’t make it so it was going to be 3 of us. Then, at the last minute, another person from the group couldn’t make it and they asked us if we knew anyone who wanted the ticket. We started texting our friends and a friend of mine wanted the ticket and was able to get to the theater in time. And it turned out, all of us were new to seeing the show this way so it was even more exciting!

Since I had seen other versions of the show before, I was familiar with the plot. And the live tv version wasn’t that long ago so I was more familiar than I have been with most shows even though this was kind of a new show for me. It was an interesting way to see the show since it was new and familiar at the same time. I also think it allowed me to not feel as confused in the beginning as I have with some new shows. I was still able to be into the show and not expecting what would come next, but I wasn’t shocked and had to get past anything.

The show was exactly how I expected a full production to be. It had the set that I had seen in photos from other big productions and the performers were awesome. I will say this is one of the first shows that made me feel a bit old because all the performers were adults but young (when it’s a show full of kids, I don’t feel old). There were a few moments I didn’t love and some characters that didn’t have the chemistry I was expected to see, but overall it was a great show.

This tour is technically the 20th-anniversary tour (the tour started 3 years ago when the premiere was 20 years ago) and even though the show is not current it still feels that way. The AIDS crisis isn’t the same as it was back in the early 90s, but there are still so many health issues that feel just as hopeless or overwhelming. And the idea of not being able to afford bills and affordable housing being torn down for expensive homes is a current issue that I feel I know well. I have said that I literally cannot afford to move because every place near me is significantly more expensive than what I pay right now.

And of course, the idea of being an artist and wanting to have your work out there is something very close to me. I understand the frustration of trying to make something and wanting to make sure that your legacy includes the work that you created. That concept a big focus of the show, but I think it hits even harder considering that the writer of “Rent” died the night before it opened. He worked so hard on writing the show and getting it seen by others. And it’s so sad that he never got to see what “Rent” became and how it is a must-see show according to most people who like musicals.

This was one of the few shows that did make me cry. I don’t usually cry when seeing a musical, but I think when something connects so well with me I can’t help it. I was moved by what I saw and when I feel like that I can’t hold it in. And I think all 3 of us in the group felt the same way. We left the show a bit emotionally drained and a bit motivated to get out there and work hard on what we love to do. It was an incredible way to leave a show and I loved it.

There’s only one more show this season and it will be this weekend. And it will only be 2 of us going due to scheduling issues. And then next season, it will be me and my friend Dani. But shows are awesome to go to with just 2 of us or with a big group. For me, as long as I have one friend to go with, I have an awesome time. And I’m so happy that this will keep going for at least another year and I can’t wait to see how the last show of this season and all the shows next season will connect with me.

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Posted in Fun Stuff

Tagged musical, Pantages Theater, theater

Monthly Archives: July 2019

A Perfect Night At The Bowl (or Checking Some Things Off My List)

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A Special Birthday For A Special Friend (or Celebrating A “College” Friend)

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Some New Workout Issues (or Making The Best Of Things)

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Wishing For A Vacation (or Finding My Own Time Off)

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In Person Therapy (or Changing Some Things Up)

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Last Musical Of The Season (or A Classic Pantages Night Out)

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OTF Beach Day (or A Bikini Adventure)

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This Wasn’t Going To Be A 4 Workout Week (or Some Pleasant Surprises)

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I Tried, I Still Hit Burnout (or Finding Some New Limits)

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Finally Seeing A Popular Show (or It’s “Rent” Time!)

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