Monthly Archives: June 2019

I Love When Something Becomes A Non-Issue (or An Update On The Scar On My Face)

I have had no regrets at all since doing the surgery to remove what turned out to be a benign tumor on my chin. I was a bit worried going into it based on what other doctors had said to me, but I quickly realized that my fears were not going to be realized. I was not going to have a massive scar or look disfigured from having this removed. Maybe the doctor who told me that before really believed that and surgical techniques have improved a lot since then or maybe he was warning me and didn’t think it was guaranteed to be that bad. Either way, I’m so glad that the original doctor was wrong and I found a new doctor who was confident that he could do it and didn’t think it would be a bad decision for me.

Before I had the surgery, I was so self-conscious and aware of the mark on my face. Not only did it feel like everyone was looking at it and it was the most noticeable thing on my face (although I know that wasn’t true), it was painful too. The skin on it would sometimes break and it would start bleeding. I know that’s gross, but it’s the truth. I hated how it would hurt and I was so embarrassed when I realized that it started to bleed. The skin around it was so irritated from both the past treatments I had done and all the trauma to the skin that the breaks would cause. While my main motivation for the surgery was for appearance, the physical issues were a reason too.

I did whatever I could to make the mark blend in with the rest of my skin. I had so many concealers I would use and I wouldn’t leave the house without using at least one. Even when I was going to my workout, I would put concealer on that spot and it would make me feel better about myself. It’s crazy how much one little thing (that most people didn’t even notice) affected my life and had me working around it.

Since the surgery, I’ve been doing treatments to keep the scar soft and as minimal as possible. It’s not that much work and it’s been easy to have as a part of my normal skincare routine. I’ve only had one follow up with my doctor and he was very happy with how the scar looked. I’ll be seeing him again at the end of the summer when I do my normal skin/mole check, but I’m guessing he will be looking at the scar too. I think he will tell me that I have been doing a great job with the aftercare and that I should probably continue with the same plan as long as I can. I want the scar to look as close as possible to the skin around it, so I will do anything I have to do to accomplish that.

But I realized this week that I don’t really need the acknowledgment from my doctor that I am doing the right thing. I haven’t been putting concealer on my face like I was doing before. I still put some on when I wear makeup or am going out because the skin is a bit more red on the scar than on the surrounding skin. But I don’t feel the need to wear it when I’m going to work out or when I’m just going to run a quick errand. Considering how important my concealer was to me before surgery, it’s amazing to think that it’s not even something I think about anymore.

I have been skipping the concealer for my workouts or quick errands since my surgery. But it was only like that right after surgery because I wasn’t allowed to put makeup over the scar. At my follow up I was given a timeline as to when I could start using it. But I actually don’t remember how long I was supposed to wait because I never thought about it again. I think it was another week or two after the stitches came out, but by the time I was able to do so I wasn’t worried about it.

I know that there is no requirement to wear makeup or to conceal any blemishes or marks, but for me, I was covering it up for me and not for what others thought.  If I forgot concealer and had to see a bunch of people, I couldn’t focus because I was so worried about if anyone would notice it. It was really a big time suck in my life and I love that it’s not anymore. And to know that I didn’t even realize that I’m not worried about it anymore makes it even better and more proof that it’s a non-issue for me now.

Having Health Paranoia (or I’m Sure I Am Just Fine)

I’ve probably earned the right to be a bit paranoid about my health. I’ve had ongoing health issues most of my life. I’ve had some very random things that have come up as an adult that are now ongoing and cause problems a majority of the time. And I’ve discovered new health problems when I thought I was being checked out for a more routine one. I’ve also written on here about my body disconnect I’ve felt and I think that has made me wonder what is happening with me more often. I think that disconnect has been one of the main reasons I have a bit of paranoia now.

When I had my first gallbladder attack in a long time, I was terrified it would last forever or that it was the start of the attacks happening as often as they did before. I’m still worried that I will have another attack and any time I have even the smallest symptom that could be related to my gallbladder I brace myself for more. Fortunately, I haven’t had another attack yet, but I am still on edge and waiting to see when the next one will happen. I’m aware that I could just get my gallbladder removed and I wouldn’t have to worry anymore. But that’s not a super easy surgery and there are issues I could have once my gallbladder is gone.

I try not to be too paranoid about things, but I know it’s just something that unfortunately seems to be my default setting. I’m like that with my dentist appointments. I’m always sure that I will be told that something horrible is happening with my teeth and I need to do a lot of major work. No matter how many times I am proved wrong, I still think that way.

So this week, when I started having random symptoms, my paranoia kicked in. I still don’t know what is wrong, but things have been getting better. I’ve been very tired and having some moments of being light-headed. I know that those can be because of the heat and weather changes so those symptoms alone didn’t concern me. But then I started having some odd abdominal pain. It wasn’t sharp and painful but it wasn’t as severe as the dull pain I get with my gallbladder. It was more like an annoying dull pain that would come and go.

I have learned not to try to find out what’s wrong with me by looking things up. Usually, as a woman, it will either say that I could have cancer or could be pregnant. Or it will be some very dangerous issues that can happen with your reproductive system. I guess technically there could be something wrong with my uterus, but I really doubt it (and I know I’m not pregnant and I doubt I have cancer). Nothing good can come from trying to figure out what’s wrong online so I don’t even attempt it.

If I was in extreme pain or this was lasting several days, of course I would go to the doctor to get checked out. I don’t mess around with health issues because I do know how serious they could be. And maybe if I had the same health insurance I had when I was growing up (where everything was free), I might try to get an appointment sooner. But now, I know I need to at least wait it out a few days to see if there is still something to be worried about. If I still have the same symptoms after a few days, then it is something to double check. But more often than not, these issues go away on their own and I never find out what’s wrong. I’m sure there are some aches and pains that are nothing to worry about even if they technically aren’t normal. I don’t have to worry that every little thing is going to lead to something huge. But I can’t help but worry about it ending up like that.

As far as my current health situation goes, it has been getting better each day. I still have most of the symptoms, but they aren’t as severe or as frequent. So I guess this will be just another one that goes away on its own.

Super Productive and Super Lazy (or A Balance Over 2 Days)

I write on here so often about being super busy or super productive and then the opposite and being very lazy and unmotivated to do things. I usually talk about how I know there is a swing back and forth with these two things and eventually, it balances out. I just have to remember that it will balance out and not focus on one time and worry that I won’t have the opposite.

But I had those two types of day back to back recently and it was pretty funny. I’m not used to them happening so quickly and it was only after those two days were done that I was able to see how crazy it was.

Sunday was an exceptionally productive day for me. I had an appointment just before noon and my plan was to enjoy my morning and take my time before that. I knew I could do things after I was done so I planned to do all my usual Sunday chores later. I went to bed on Saturday night later than I would have liked to, but I knew I could sleep in a little bit. It’s a rare treat for me to sleep in and it’s not easy for me to do it because I’m in a very consistent sleep schedule, but even if I can’t keep sleeping past 7am I usually will spend my morning being lazy in bed reading or something if I don’t have to rush around in the morning.

But for some reason, even though I didn’t get that much sleep I was wide awake at 7am. I couldn’t just stay in bed and relax. I was ready to start my day. I was able to get most of the things I needed to do that morning before 11am. I was shocked how much I did and when I got home after my appointment I continued working hard and got a lot of things checked off my list that I was planning on doing throughout the week. I wasn’t exhausted or anything doing all these things. It just felt like I matched my energy level with what I was able to do.

The next day was my day off work. I still have a workout in the morning so I don’t sleep in. But I still have time in the morning before my workout so I usually do a few things around my house before heading out. I did manage to do that, but after my workout I had no motivation to do anything. I did shower and get clean after I got home from Orangetheory and put on some normal clothes, but that’s pretty much all I did.

I did think at first that this might have been a reaction to doing so much the day before. I also was wondering if I might be getting sick because I know a lot of people I know have colds. It could have been either of those, but what I think is more likely is that the weather had a drastic change. It has been very mild and even foggy lately. And on Monday things felt like it became summer overnight. It’s not nearly as hot as I know summer will be, but it was a huge jump up.

I was used to my house being in the 70s during the day and at night without needing to use any fans, heaters, or air conditioning. It’s been really nice and I have been enjoying keeping my door open during the day and in the evening before I go to bed. Having the door open seems to always make my house seem cleaner and fresher.

But on Monday, it got very hot inside. I didn’t realize it right away but when I finally thought about how it was so warm inside it was already over 90 degrees inside. It was significantly cooler outside so I tried to cool my house down by opening my doors and windows. But it wasn’t working as well as I would have liked. And I think the heat made me very lazy. Fortunately, I had the ability to be lazy and I didn’t worry about it too much.

But yesterday, I had a lot of work to do. I had to find a balance between being productive and lazy. It’s still pretty hot out so I started running my air conditioner. I love having it and it makes my life so much better, but I also have to close up my house to run it which is a little sad. But at least I won’t have the heat making me tired and lazy.

For all the times I complain or remark about how I need to find the middle between being lazy and productive, I don’t think I’ve ever had the switch so quickly. But at least I found some humor in the situation and it seems to have balanced out a bit for now.

Yet Another Book Rewrite (or Letting My Blog Posts Inspire Me)

I’ve written several times about the book I’ve been working on about online dating. I’ve also written about how I’ve worked on different versions because I wasn’t sure if what I had previously done was right.  I started with the book in 3 sections: guys I’ve gone out with that were decent people, guys that were horrible people whether or not I met them in real life, and the cheaters I caught. Then I decided I wanted to change that up and write the book chronologically because some of the stories only made sense when it was put into the proper timeline. I’ve been going back and forth on those two versions for a while and I never was 100% sure it was right.

I was so conflicted on which version I wanted that I had to stop working on it for a bit. Then I was inspired to work on a novel inspired by online dating (but it would be a work of fiction). I haven’t done much with the novel except doing a brief outline of what the plot points would be along with a few style ideas which are needed because of the idea I have with that book. I’m not feeling a huge push to work on it and I think I’ll probably use it for NaNoWriMo this year. I think working on a piece of fiction would be easier than something that is about my real life because I don’t have to wait to figure out what will happen next. I can make it up and I don’t have to depend on having more dates.

And I think waiting is one of the reasons I’ve been struggling with my original online dating book. I have said since I started it that I didn’t know how it would end. I would love it to end with the story of the guy I end up with, but I have no idea when that will happen and I don’t love the idea that the story needs to end like that. Not everything has to end with a happy ending and I want it to accurately represent where I am in life. Maybe when I finally finish it I will be with my forever person, but if I’m not I don’t want to feel like things are incomplete.

I stopped working on that book a little while ago although I have been adding notes about stories I wanted to include. But I haven’t felt the motivation to work because of the fear that until I know the ending that I can’t work on it. But I have inspired a little bit ago about yet another version of what this book could be and it finally doesn’t seem to require a real ending. And the inspiration kind of came from the blog posts I write about online dating.

Sometimes I do write general online dating posts on here and funny stories. But I also write about lessons that I’ve learned from the various dates and experiences I’ve had. And while I feel like the crazy stories are fun and entertaining, the lessons I’ve learned are probably so much more important. I’ve discovered so much about myself through these dating experiences. I’ve learned what I want, what I’m willing to tolerate, what I deserve, and what I believe. I know that dating isn’t always like this for people, but for me it really has been a journey in self-discovery. Even in the moments of pain and when someone breaks my heart, I am able to learn something from that experience and I want to believe that I am a better person because of those lessons.

Not every guy I was writing about in previous versions of my book are life lessons, but many of them are. Some of the guys can be grouped into one lesson and some guys have multiple lessons. But I feel like there is a great way to organize these lessons where it doesn’t require a specific pattern or even a conclusion. They can just be a collection of stories and what I learned about myself and it doesn’t need me to have a story that is about how I fell in love, got married, and had my happily ever after. It would be great to have that story, but that’s not what I feel this book needs to be about. It’s not about how I met my perfect guy, it’s about my experience dating. And having it about the lessons allows me to focus on that instead of the overall journey.

I’ve only started working on this new version, so I don’t have much done. But just getting the lessons down and connecting which guys represent which story has given me a lot of clarity about what this book could be. And I have shared the idea with a few friends and I think they agree that this is a better idea if I want to possibly publish the book. The funny and crazy stories might only connect with people who know me in real life. But life lessons should be able to connect with those outside my social circle and might be something that others would be interested in reading.

I know I have written before how I feel like I finally found what this book should be and I keep changing it. But I do feel like this is a bit different. I almost have a sense of relief and peace with the idea and feel less pressure that I don’t have to rely on what dates may happen in the future to figure out if the book is done. And even if I change things up again and decide that this is not the right version, I think this will actually benefit me quite a bit. There are still some situations I’ve been in where I haven’t figured out the lesson just yet. This will force me to look at what happened and try to see what I can learn. And those new lessons will just keep helping me become the best version of myself.

Hopefully one day this book is done and I can share it with the world. I know my dating experience isn’t necessarily the most unique, but there are people who haven’t gone through what I have gone through and I’d love to be able to share what I have learned and what I know with them.

Doing Some Theme Workouts (or Unique Challenges At Orangetheory)

This past week of workouts at Orangetheory were really fun for me. First of all, I was having a week where I was feeling good. I wasn’t feeling as great as I know I can, but it was a significant difference from the week before. And also, most of my workouts this past week were fun themed workouts! It wasn’t like Hell Week or Mayhem Week where they are all super hard. These were different themes and they all were really enjoyable while being tough.

Monday’s workout was an endurance day, but it was also a switch day so I was able to push myself a bit harder than I normally could for endurance workouts. This was the one workout that wasn’t really a theme, but it was still a great class. We had a bit of a run/row element which helped to split things up even more. Even though I was finally doing better and not feeling nauseous, I always feel like it takes me a workout or two before I feel like myself again. And this class seemed to be a great way to ease back in.

I started on the bike and cardio had a 1 minute all out pace. I did my new all out resistance level since I knew we’d be going to the rower when we were done. Once we switched to the rower, we had distance rows with pulsing half squats between. That was the end of that block and then my group stayed on the rower so we started there. We had a 1 minute all out row before going back up to cardio. And on cardio we had a push pace, base pace, and push to all out pace to end the block. Because we were on cardio a bit longer, I used my lower push and all out resistance level. After that then my group was on the floor but we did the cardio and rowing rotations one more time just after the halfway mark of the workout.

On the floor the first block had chest presses with weights, tricep extensions with weights, and knee tucks. I was able to use my normal weights for the chest presses, but when I got to the tricep extensions I struggled. I think I slept funny because my neck was just feeling off. So I had to switch to lower weights. And the second block had shoulder presses with weights, lateral raises with weights, and scissor kick static crunches. Again, I went a bit lower with the weights than I would have liked to have been. But I also knew it was a random reason why and not something I should have to struggle with the rest of the week.

Wednesday’s workout was Catch Me If You Can. I didn’t do this workout the first time they had it so I was excited to try it out. The idea was that we had distance goals for cardio. If you didn’t make it to that goal when you were supposed to, you were caught. People on treadmills had to walk at a high incline for the rest of the block if they were caught.

But it was a bit different for me on the bike because there wasn’t really a punishment if we didn’t make it to the distance and were caught. And when I saw the list of the distance goals we were supposed to hit, I knew I would only make it for the first half of them. But what I did was while I was still chasing the goals I had my resistance level between my base and push paces. And when I was caught, I put it between my push and all out so it made it very tough on me. While I knew before we started when I would probably be caught, that didn’t lessen the fun I had with the challenge.

On the rower, we had rowing and squats. We started with a 600 meter row and 20 squats. The rows and squats decreased each round. I didn’t make it as far down the plan as I would have liked to, but I was very happy about the rowing I did and how consistent I was able to keep my pace. And on the floor, we had one long block. We had skier swings with weights, rollouts on the ab dolly, bicep curls with weights, side planks, and hip bridges with weights. I went very heavy for my hip bridge weights, but I didn’t go too heavy for the rest because they were all high rep exercises. But it was still a strong way to end my workout.

Friday’s workout was a new and interesting one for me. We had a very unique rowing challenge where we were supposed to work together as a group and try to row at the same pace and pattern. It was supposed to be like we were a real rowing crew. That was totally a challenge to stay with the others, but it was fun to try! I found out later it was supposed to be a themed class for the Dragon Boat Festival which explained the team rowing.

For cardio, we had our own distance challenge for the entire block. The treadmills had rounds of .25 miles (the bike had rounds of 1 mile) followed by a minute of walking recovery. The goal was to do as many rounds as possible and to keep your speed either the same or increasing each round. I started with doing the distance challenge at my push pace resistance level, but after 3 rounds I had to decrease it to be at the level between my base and push for the rest of the workout. I was feeling a bit off due to lack of sleep the night before, but I just tried to focus on pushing myself when I could. I was actually very glad to have a repeating challenge for cardio because it helped me take my mind off of it.

For rowing, we alternated between the group challenge of rowing together and having rowing on our own. The group challenges were 2 minutes, 90 seconds, and 1 minute. While I’m not the slowest rower, I do row slower than most. I struggled a bit to keep up with everyone else, but I discovered if I did short rowing strokes that it was much easier. When we had the rowing on our own, we had a distance challenge within a certain time. The time was always long enough to allow for some rest time and I did take advantage of that break. I needed it to be ready for the next group row.

And on the floor we had 1 long block. We had step up with weights, hip swings with weights, tricep extensions with weights, plank jacks, and sit-ups. I have been modifying the step ups so I could do them, but I can’t do them with weight because I have to hold onto the straps. So I decided to do lunges with weights instead so I could still have weight work. We started with lower reps but they increased by a lot each round so I did have to switch up my weights in order to still have good form when we had a lot of reps.

And Saturday’s class was themed for Best Friend’s Day. The entire workout was a partner workout, but we were always at the same section of the room as our partner. We did tag each other to switch things up, but we weren’t moving around the room within a block. Instead, we were constantly switching as a class. We had 4 blocks at each section of the room. 3 of the blocks were 3 minutes and 1 block was 1 minute, but the 1 minute block was done solo and without workout with our partner.

For cardio, it was the only time we weren’t really working with our partners. For the 3 minute blocks we had a 3 minute distance challenge and the 1 minute block was a 1 minute all out. I wanted to keep my resistance level either between my base and push level or at my push pace level, but I could only do that for the first 2 blocks. For the last 2 I had it at my base pace level but I made an extra effort to try to pedal faster to make up for the lower resistance.

On the rower, we were rowing next to our partner. We worked as a team and one of us was doing a 100 meter row and the other was doing a recovery row. As soon as the person doing the 100 meter row was done, the other switched from the recovery row to doing the 100 meter. We switched back and forth the entire time for the 3 minute blocks. This seemed easy when I heard that’s what we were doing, but it was so much harder than expected. The recovery rows were so quick so I never felt like I was catching my breath. And for the 1 minute block, we had a 1 minute all out row.

And on the floor, we worked with our partners again. We switched back and forth doing either an exercise or a static move for the 3 minute blocks. We had shoulder presses with weights (the static move was a static hold of the weights), front squats with weights (the static move was holding a squat), high rows on the straps (the static move was holding the high row position on the straps), and superman (the static move was holding a plank). We alternated between the moves quickly so the static moves didn’t feel like a rest. The reps started low and increased and it was tough to keep going with the higher reps. But I knew my partner was counting on me so that was extra motivation. And for the 1 minute block, we had 1 minute of burpees. I used the bench to modify them, but I tried to go quickly and was able to do 10 in a minute.

I really loved this past week of workouts. I don’t always need themed workouts, but it’s so fun when we have them and I find that they seem to be challenging but in unexpected ways. I know we have some other great workouts coming up and I’m really feeling motivated to find how I can push myself before I have to worry about feeling awful again.

Another Downside To My Bad Week (or Just Doing Nothing)

I’m having a bit of writer’s block trying to figure out this post. To be totally honest, I wasn’t sure what I would write at all this week and I’m worried a bit about next week. It’s not that I don’t want to write. I really do. But I hate when I have nothing to write about. And that’s the problem I’m having right now.

Often, the posts I write are about things that happened the week prior. It’s not always like that, but I love when that happens so I can plan. And last week, besides working hard doing the various jobs I have I didn’t do much. I spent the week in pain and nauseous and I did not have motivation to do anything else. I hate when I feel like that, but it’s my reality and sometimes I just can’t deal with it. I try my best not to let that time go by without doing much, but I know that every so often I do need to escape from the world a bit and just want to sit on my couch and do nothing.

Sometimes when my friends and family don’t hear from me for a week they think I’m super busy. That’s what my parents thought when we finally had a phone call. It sucks to have to say that I wasn’t doing something fun and awesome but instead just didn’t feel comfortable enough to be on the phone and spent that time being miserable. I don’t usually share on the phone to people that I’m not feeling good because I’m not looking for pity. Sometimes I do share it when I’m hanging out in person with someone because I know that when nausea hits I don’t look ok. I just want to warn them what’s going on. And while I appreciate when people say they are sorry for me, I don’t want that feeling so I don’t share it when it’s not something I feel is needed.

Even if my friends did reach out to me last week, I don’t think I would have gone out to do anything with them. There are some months when I do feel a bit more up for trying to do something to distract myself. Sometimes I feel like there is a bit more of a pattern to my nausea so I work around it. Or for whatever reason I have extra motivation to just overcome how I’m feeling and I don’t want to let it bring me down. And unfortunately, this time it wasn’t that way and I did a lot of nothing at home.

My doing nothing (besides working like crazy) was mainly catching up on my DVR and Netflix/Hulu and doing some reading. Nothing interesting to really share with you all. And I know I should be grateful that I had the opportunity to do nothing and I have the luxury of not having to work in an office and commute when I feel so horribly. But at the same time, when I reflect back on a week and realize that it was lost to pain and nausea I can’t help but be a little upset.

I know that I could change this blog to not be every day so I don’t stress when this happens, but I still like having it as my motivation to make sure that I try to stay as active in my life as possible. And most of the time, I feel like I do have interesting and fun things to share. But every so often there is the time in my life that ends up being not interesting and filled with non-productive things that leads to posts like this one. But hopefully next week will be more interesting to make up for it.

Finding New Ways To Be Creative (or Almost As Good As Acting)

One of the biggest downsides to pursuing an acting career is that I am not in that much control. I know that I could create my own work, but that still requires things to happen that I don’t control completely. And with bigger auditions and jobs, it depends on me being called in by the casting director to audition and up to multiple people if they want to hire me. Even with all that uncertainty, I love acting more than anything and could not imagine not pursing it.

But I do crave having creativity in my life and I can’t get that always from acting. It’s tough because I’m not creative in other traditional ways. I can’t draw and actually get frustrated because of my lack of drawing abilities. I’m not really a writer even though I write on here and I’m working on a book. Or maybe I am a writer but I don’t find it a creative outlet? Either way, writing doesn’t fill what I am looking for. I’ve tried so many other things that could fill the creative need in my life and I never have found something that fills me like acting does.

I’ve come to the realization that nothing will be as good as acting is for me. I kind of knew that going into trying to find more creativity in my life. If something made me feel as great as acting does, I would go do that instead. But I still hoped I would find something even though I didn’t think it was possible. So I had to change my mindset so I wasn’t looking for a replacement for the creativity of acting. I was looking for something to supplement acting.

I still probably have some searching to do but at least for now I have found a few things that are adding that creativity I crave in my life. First, the work that I’ve been doing for my union slate has been creative when I wasn’t expecting it to be. The direct work that I’m doing isn’t necessarily creative because I am posting on social media. There is a bit of planning that I guess is a creative thing, but I’m not sure. But the unexpected creativity that I have found with that is that I have been working with our graphic designer (who is a close friend of mine) directly to come up with ideas for what we want to post. While I am not the person doing the creation of the graphics, I do get to have some input with what we are doing. And that’s been awesome.

I’ve also done a little bit of work behind the camera. Working behind the camera is not something that I love or want to pursue. But I guess when it’s for something that I am passionate about and want to be a part of no matter what, I do enjoy it. I can’t share too much about what I worked on, but it was with many of my friends. I was in charge of helping with teleprompter work which really has no creativity involved. But I was sitting right below the camera to run it and was very close to what was being filmed. Getting to watch someone work through different takes was something I normally don’t get to experience. While I’m used to different takes when I’m filming something, I usually am a part of that scene too so I can’t just sit back and watch the process. It was almost like getting to watch an acting class with someone who is such a talented actor. The day I was behind the camera was actually a tough day for me before I got there. And while I was there and after I left, I was in a much better mood.

I still want to find other ways I can be creative that I have the ability to control. I don’t know if that means finding things that I haven’t tried that I can do or to find a way to make writing feel more creative. I would love any suggestions you all have because I know that being creative does make me happy and I want to have as much of that as possible.

A Random Brunch With A Friend (or So Many Pancakes)

I’m aware that I am pretty set in my ways with so many aspects of my life. I have my favorite foods, my favorite stores, and my routines for getting things done. It’s not a bad thing to have routines and patterns, but it can sometimes be hard to break out of that when you are so used to it. Breaking away from the norm is one of the things that I get from doing my monthly challenges. Sometimes it is hard to change. But other times all it takes is a friend reaching out and me deciding to go along.

I was doing some errands this past Sunday when I saw some texts from a group text I’m in with some of my Orangetheory friends. One person in the group was craving pancakes from a particular restaurant and wanted to see if any of us wanted to go. It was a restaurant that I hadn’t been to before and I’m not usually a big fan of pancakes. But I was getting frustrated with my errands so I said I’d go just to give me a reason to stop going crazy with what I was trying to do. She gave me the information for the restaurant and I was there pretty quickly. And I lucked out with finding parking in their parking lot so I took that all as a good sign.

We went to A-Frame in Culver City which is a Hawaiian restaurant. But one of the things they are known for is their all-you-can-eat pancakes on the weekends. They have a few different varieties of pancakes that you can choose from. You get one variety at a time and they come in stacks of 2 pancakes. So they aren’t crazy huge, but they are still filling. Since this was my first time there, I wanted to try a few different types but I also didn’t want to be overstuffed.

I started with the standard buttermilk pancakes and got the fried chicken with it (you can get fried chicken with any of the types if you’d like). Next I had the banana macadamia nut ones without chicken. And I got the sweet red bean ones with chicken as my last plate. And they were all really delicious! They were light and fluffy and very flavorful. I think my favorite was the banana macadamia nut ones because they tasted like banana bread. And even though I don’t really like fried chicken, I enjoyed the chicken too! They weren’t greasy which made me happy. And they chicken was so good with the maple syrup too!

I wasn’t able to finish all 3 of my plates (I was super impressed that my friend was able to!) but I definitely got my money’s worth. Good food and good value are important to me when going out to eat, but the most important thing I think is having good company. And it was so much fun to have brunch with my friend when we rarely get to hang out outside of our workouts. She is also an actor so we were talking a lot of industry related stuff, but we also talked about lots of random things. It was the perfect thing on Sunday when I was really feeling down about my errands not going the way I hoped they would go.

We both had things we needed to get to that afternoon and we also were both very full after all the pancakes, so we didn’t hang around too late. And I felt a food coma coming on after eating something that I usually don’t eat. It was still worth it even though I was dragging on a bit for the rest of the day. This isn’t a brunch treat I will do that often, so I’m glad I took the time to enjoy it.

And I was so glad that my friend invited me out to somewhere new. I don’t know if I would have gone there if a friend didn’t specifically invite me out there. I’ve been trying to make brunch plans with a few friend (brunch seems to be a time of day many people can meet up) and I seem to always suggest the same place because it is where I like to get brunch and I don’t know a lot of other places. But this random brunch at A-Frame really made me realize that I do need to make an effort to either look into new places or have more friends suggest where to go. Because I never know when I will go somewhere I have never heard of and discover that it’s amazing and that I want to go back!

My Monthly Challenge To Finish Out The First Half Of The Year (or Sleeping And More Organizing)

It’s crazy to think that after this month the year will be half over! I’ve said it dozens of times (and will say it probably thousands more), but time is just going so fast! I do love that I have so many checkins with myself to not let time slip by. I have things that I do to check in every week and every month and it does help me stay more mindful as time goes by. And one of those checkins is my monthly challenge.

Last month, I had a challenge to work on my sleep a bit more. I have finally gotten to a place where I don’t struggle to get up in the morning. Even when I can sleep in on a Sunday, I still usually wake up at 7am since that is the time I get up every other day. But because I naturally get up early, if I stay up late it means I just won’t get the sleep I need. And I had been noticing that I was going to sleep later and later even on the nights I needed to be up early. So I wanted to work on my better bedtime routine so I could be closer to getting all the sleep I needed most nights.

There were still a few nights that I know I was up too late and I did suffer for it. But I am in a better place now with being used to going to bed a bit earlier now than I was before I started the challenge. I did think about it more when I wanted to watch another show before going to sleep and I would often decide it wasn’t worth staying up. I still have a lot of work to do so that I’m averaging enough sleep a night when I take tossing and turning into account, but I’m much closer to that.

One unexpected thing I did discover about myself while doing this challenge was what later bedtime would also work. While I don’t want to be getting under 5 hours of sleep a night, there is something about making sure you are in the best part of your sleep cycle when you do wake up. So if I’m up a bit too late, I now have a slightly better idea of how much later I should stay up so getting up doesn’t feel as hard. It’s weird to think that sometimes forcing myself to have less sleep will result in not being as tired, but it does work. But it’s not something I want to get into the habit of and I want to work on increasing my sleep.

My sleep challenge is going to continue over the next few months for sure, but I’m glad I did focus on it last month so I could get some of the better habits started and I have a better idea of what to work on. I knew I needed to fix things, but the specifics were a bit up in the air until I tested them out and I discovered new things that I hope will help me.

I wanted to shift to a bit more concrete challenge this month so my progress was easier to see. I had a few ideas of what I could do, but I ended up being inspired by a few different things that happened. First, my phone gave me an alert that I was running out of space. I am waiting to see if Apple will release another smaller iPhone because I don’t like the giant ones, so I have to do what I can to make my current phone work as long as possible. I also realized that I wasn’t using my iPad the same way I had been using it when I got it. I still use it and am so grateful to have it, but I was just getting frustrated with a few things that were’t working the same way my phone would do.

So I decided that for this month, I’m going to do some digital organizing. I have already been clearing things out of my phone to add more space, but I know there is so much more than I can do. And I know that a lot of my frustration with my iPad comes down to not finding my apps as easily because they aren’t organized the same way and I just grab my phone because it is easier.

I know this is really a first world problem, but I know that being more organized on my devices will help me be more productive. And that really is my goal with so many different aspects of my life. I don’t want to have to waste time trying to find where something is on a device and then waste time being frustrated after I can’t find it. I do have a bit of this issue on my computer as well with a few things on there that I don’t need or links in my bookmarks that are outdated, but I don’t notice it as much. Maybe that’s because I spend so much time on my computer with work so I don’t feel like I’m wasting as much time. But I want to try to work on that as well.

I’m sure in working through this organizing I’ll discover other things with my devices that I want to work on. Maybe I’ll find new systems to make my life easier. Or I’ll discover new apps that I will want to help with things that aren’t as simple as they can. Doing any sort of audit or organization really brings out new and interesting things. I’m excited to see what I will discover over this next month working on it.

Normal But Still Hard (or Having My Own Workout Challenge This Time)

We just had Mayhem Week at Orangetheory and that was a week of challenging workouts. And this past week of workouts, the workouts were technically normal but they were still a challenge for me. It was my week of nausea and that makes things feel so much harder than they should be. But the past few times I’ve had to deal with the nausea I have been finding new ways to work through things. And that’s what I continued to do this time.

Monday’s workout was a themed workout and it was supposed to be a 3 partner class. I usually love partner workouts because it pushes me to work harder and do more. But in this class I was so nauseous and I didn’t want to slow a team down or have my partners wait on me so we can switch. So I told my coach that I volunteered to be on my own, and it happened to work out that way. I was glad that I could be alone because I did need to take a lot of breaks in the workout.

The way the partner workout was supposed to go was to have the rower as the pacer. The floor and treadmill switched back and forth until the rower was done and they all switched. For me, I just did 1 round of whatever we were supposed to do at each section of the room and switch when I was done. The cardio work was the easiest for me. All the bike distances were very short and I was always done in under 3 minutes. I kept the resistance level at my base pace level which helped me not have too much nausea on the bike.

For the floor, it was always the same exercises and the reps decreased each time. We had low rows on the straps, burpees, pushups, and sit-ups. I used the bench for the burpees and pushups which did help the nausea a bit, but it was still slow for me on the floor with the breaks I needed to rest.

The rower was the toughest part of the workout and what made me most grateful for being on my own. They were all long distance rows and I took significantly longer than I usually do. It started with a 1600 meter row, then 1200 meters, and I was doing the 800 meter row when class was done. If I had partners for this workout, I would have been so stressed out on the rower. For example, 1600 meters should be 8 minutes or under and I usually can do that. But because of needing the breaks to let the nausea pass, it took me almost 14 minutes. I would have hated knowing my partners had to wait almost twice as long to switch. I was happy knowing I was on my own and just doing what I could.

Wednesday’s workout was an interesting day with a mix of endurance and power. It was also another bad nausea day so I went into the workout just planning on doing the best that I could. We had 4 blocks at each section of the room and 2 of the blocks were about 5 minutes and 2 of the blocks were only 1 minute. Sometimes we had time to work through different exercises and sometimes it was just a quick change around the room.

For cardio, for the longer blocks they were pretty standard endurance blocks. We had push paces and base paces with an all out at the end. I did manage to change up the resistance levels a bit, but they weren’t what I usually use. And for the 1 minute blocks, we had 1 minute all outs. Again, I did go up a bit with the resistance level but it wasn’t what I normally do.

On the rower, the longer blocks were rounds of 100 meter rows and lunges. And the shorter blocks were 1 minute all out rows. The first time we had a longer block I was fine with the lunges. But the second time I was just not feeling ok and it was taking me so much time to get on and off the rower. So I just rowed that block without the lunges.

And the floor had side lunges, skater lunges, upper cuts, and leg lifts for the longer blocks. And the 1 minute blocks were 1 minute of burpees. I was glad the longer block didn’t require modifications but I did use the bench for the burpees. Considering how I was feeling going into this class and how much movement there was, I was happy with what I did even though it didn’t feel like much.

Friday’s workout was a benchmark challenge day. It was the 12 minute run (or bike) for distance. I’m still newish to doing benchmarks on the bike, so I didn’t feel the same sort of competitive spirit as I did on the treadmill. I’m grateful for that because I didn’t feel like I had to push extra hard to beat myself when I wasn’t feeling so great.

I did set a goal for myself on the bike and I was very happy to see that I did pass that goal. I kept the resistance level between my base and push level so I wasn’t going as hard as I probably normally would for a challenge like this. But it worked for how I was feeling and I still felt like I was doing more than I normally would.

On the rower we started with a 3 minute row. Then we had single leg bicep curls and hip hinge rows using weights. We continued that pattern but decreased the row each time. It was a tough row block and I did take a lot of breaks. And doing any single leg work is difficult for me so the bicep curls were hard. But I was grateful that the work we had on the rower were things that I didn’t have to modify too much because of how I was feeling.

And on the floor we had a mix of strap work and ab dolly work. On the straps we had Y raises, high rows, and low rows. On the ab dolly we were supposed to do rollouts and pikes, but I couldn’t do either of those. I did the rollouts on the straps instead of the ab dolly because of my nausea and I did knee tucks instead of pikes because of my hips.

Saturday’s workout had a heads or tails theme. Each section of the room had a heads option and tails option. We had 2 blocks at each section so we did do both, but the coin flip was to see what we started with.

For cardio, one block was doing a specific distance and then squats after you completed the distance. You repeated the pattern until that block was done. The other block was rounds of 30 second all outs with 30 second recoveries. I was doing much better by Saturday and was able to use my new resistance levels for everything.

On the rower we had a similar pattern to cardio. One block was rounds of all out rows with recovery rows and the other block was distance rows with squats between each row. The floor had different blocks but the heads or tails determined if you had to start the block doing burpees to squats. The first block had lunges, sit-ups, and triceps on the straps. And the second block had pushups to plank jacks, sit-ups, and sumo squats using weights. I used the bench to modify all the exercises that involved plank work, but other than that I was doing everything normally.

Obviously this wasn’t the same type of challenge as Mayhem (or Hell Week), but it was still a challenging week for me. I’m just glad that I made it through and I’m hopefully back to normal now. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how this week goes!