Posted onOctober 31, 2018|Comments Off on Last Mentoring Group Brunch For The Year (or Switching Things Up For Next Year)
It’s been over 3 years since I started meeting with my current mentoring group. Next year will be 4 years since the first meeting and I love that this group is still going strong! Even though not everyone can go to every meeting we have as a group, we all still support each other whenever we can. We email the group from time to time and know that we can turn to each other if we need advice or help. I’ve said this over and over again, but I am so lucky to have this group of women in my life!
This past weekend we had one of our catchup brunches. It ended up being a smaller group with just 3 of us being able to make it, but with everyone’s crazy schedule we knew that it was going to be tough to get a big group there. We try our best, but we also know that for everyone to be able to attend it would take a miracle. So we try to pick the date that works for the most of us and we do our brunch then. And usually someone can make it to the next brunch so we just get to double up on the update from them the next time.
With it just being 3 of us, we had a quick update time. I had a few things to share this time which was a nice change compared to feeling like I have nothing to share. There’s nothing major happening, but I did have a recent change in my representation. I still have the same agents that I had before, but instead of them being at the same agency they are now split at 2 agencies. This isn’t a huge thing, but it will be the first time I don’t have my agents working at the same agency so there are a few changes I need to be aware of. It’s mainly things like notifying each of them separately when I book out when I’m out of town or making sure the other knows when one gets me an audition. I really don’t think anything else will change, but I guess I’ll find out as time goes on.
The other 2 people at brunch had some fun updates including a new show that one has written and is working on presenting to different networks. She was telling us all about the show and it does sound amazing! I have a feeling other people will be interested in the idea and it has a good chance of being worked on as a pilot. We all know there are so many variables with what happens for a show to get on the air, but just getting it in the works is a huge deal and I really hope that it happens!
While we were at brunch, we were talking about how tough it has been lately for us to find dates that work for a bunch of us. And if we were trying to do every other month like we have been for the past few years, that would make our next brunch in December. I know that it will be impossible to find a date to meet in December because of the holidays and everyone having travel plans. So we knew that the brunch was going to be in January.
But one of the women at the brunch mentioned that since we’ve been struggling to find the time to meet up, maybe it was time to make a change in the attempted frequency of our meetings. Things naturally have just worked out this year to pretty much be a meeting once a quarter. We try for every other month and then it gets pushed back a month. So to do a meeting every 3 months isn’t going to be much of a change. We brought it up to the rest of the group who wasn’t at the meeting and it seems like everyone thinks this is a good idea.
I think it will be nice to have some of the pressure off to try to plan these every other month. Also it will give me more time to have more of an update each time we meet up. I know I don’t have to have a big update every time, but I do like to have something to contribute to the conversation. And it’s a great opportunity to get advice but I can’t get that advice unless I ask for it or have a specific question. So having a bit more time to have things happen in my life will be a good thing for me.
It’s crazy to think that by the time we have our next brunch we will have been meeting for 4 years! That’s such a long time to keep this going but we are all so lucky that we’ve been able to keep it up. I know it’s only possible because everyone else is as motivated as I am about continuing these meetings. And I’m glad that we are just as motivated as we were before as well as being flexible to change things up as we see need to be adjusted.
Posted onOctober 30, 2018|Comments Off on Having Some Halloween Fun (or Creating A Clever Costume)
This past weekend was the Halloween party that my friends Marie and Chris throw every year. It’s one of the parties I love so much that they throw (and they throw some incredible parties throughout the year) and it’s always so much fun to see what costumes people come up with. This group of friends is pretty competitive when it comes to costumes. We have costume contests for the Halloween party as well as the Oscar party, and I’ve only placed once in the Oscar party about 10 years ago. So I know that if I want to be in the running to win, I must have a great costume.
I was trying to find some inspiration for a costume searching online and nothing was really connecting with me. But then I saw an article from a few years ago of people who created costumes about dating apps, and I thought that was perfect! I had a few different versions that I was trying to figure out with this costume, but I decided to go a bit smaller in scale than some of the ones I saw online. So I used a poster board to look like the Tinder app (and I made the back look like an iPad so it looked like you were using the app on an iPad) and then stalked all my friends who would be at the party on Facebook. I took photos of them, printed them out, laminated them, and then made it so the photos could be swiped left or right. I think it looked pretty great when it was done!
I added the binder clip to hold the photos together at the top because I didn’t want the photos to be swinging around while I was at the party.
When I got to their party, a lot of people were already there. And I loved seeing all the amazing and fun costumes that other people showed up in.
While I had hoped that my costume was going to be good enough to place in the costume contest, as I walked around the party I realized that everyone stepped up their costume game this year and it was going to be even more competitive than it normally is. But I was still having fun showing off my costume and everyone at the party seemed to enjoy swiping through the photos to see if their photo was in there and to swipe left and right on everyone else. Since my photo was on the top, people didn’t realize that all the photos were of people who were expected to be at the party. So as they swiped through, it was a fun surprise for them and I got so many compliments on having a really smart costume and for being really creative.
Marie and Chris always do a theme to their parties, and this year the theme was Day of the Dead. They had so many paper flowers all over the backyard and they added some new string lights that made their yard look more festive than before. and the photo spot was with these skeletons.
I really loved the decorations and thought they were so nice. I know they usually do really crazy things in their yard, but I loved what it looked like this year. And of course almost everything was handmade and that touch makes everything look so special.
I spent most of the party just hanging out with friends. I did a lot of hanging out one on one with people which was nice. I usually am around so many people at a time so getting individual time was nice and allowed me to have more substantial chats with people.
When it came time for the costume contest, I had a feeling I wasn’t going to place. Some of the costumes were just incredible and detailed and others were really good puns. But everyone looked amazing and I had a hard time picking which 3 I wanted to vote for. But I did pick 3 and 2 of them did place in the top 4.
After the costume contest, it was pretty late and I decided to start saying my goodbyes to my friends so I could head home. I would have loved to have stayed longer, but I was starting to get tired and I didn’t want to drive home when I was really tired. But of course, because I had so many friends there, it took over 30 minutes to say my goodbyes to everyone. But it was worth taking the time to do that because it gave me a little more one on one time with my friends.
The next party with this group will probably be the New Year’s Eve party which seems like it’s far away, but it’s really only 2 months. So I know it will be here before I know it!
I’ve made it through over half of my HellWeek workouts! Of my 4 workouts this past week, 3 of them were Hell Week classes. This week I’ll be doing 2 more so I can earn my shirt for being a Hell Week Survivor. I would be doing all these workouts even if I didn’t get a shirt, but getting some swag is an added bonus! I had heard rumors that this Hell Week was going to be much easier or much harder than the past few years, but I tried to go in with an open mind and see what would happen.
Monday’s workout was my one non-Hell Week workout of the week. It was a strength day, but the way it was set up it didn’t feel like a strength day the entire time on the treadmills. So I got to continue working on my running during some of the blocks which was nice.
For the treadmill, the first and third block were the same and the second and fourth block were the same. Blocks 1 and 3 were the blocks that didn’t feel like strength workouts to me. We had a 1 minute push pace, 1 minute base pace, 1 minute push pace, 30 second base pace, and 30 second all out pace. I was able to run my push and all out paces for both blocks and it didn’t seem as hard as I thought it would. 1 minute seems to be the sweet spot for me with running right now. I’d like to get my endurance back up to where it was, but this is better than not running at all. Blocks 2 and 4 were incline based with short intervals followed by single arm snatches using weights between each round. I wasn’t going to run on an incline so I did those as a power walk and I got 2 rounds in each block.
For the floor, we had 3 blocks and they all felt like strength workouts. In the first block, we had single arm low rows with weights and bench sit-up to stands. I wasn’t using my heaviest weights for the low rows, but I was using one heavier than I did earlier this year. And for the bench sit-up to stands, I usually don’t do those with weights but we were encouraged to do so this time so I tried it. It was tough, but I could feel how much harder I was working doing it that way. The second block had one exercise that included lunges, bicep curls, and shoulder presses as one move. I didn’t go too heavy with the weights for that because I knew it would require a lot of balance for me. We also had goblet squats. And the last block had single arm high rows and knee tucks. With all of the blocks, we were supposed to do rowing for distance if we finished the exercises, but I never made it that far.
Wednesday was the first day of Hell Week and the workout was called The Burpee Ring. And that was a pretty fitting name for it. I started on the treadmill but the cardio and floor had the same timing which was an interesting change.
On the treadmill, we had 10 rounds of 90 second run for distance followed by a walking recovery. Half of the walking recoveries were 45 seconds and the other half were 1 minute. My goal was to see if I could run all 10 of the 90 second run for distances, but I also knew that 90 seconds was a bit long for me at this point in returning to running. But I still wanted to try. I made it through the first 4 rounds as a run and then I had to go to a power walk. To continue working hard, when I did the power walking I didn’t do a walking recovery but just brought my incline back to my base incline. I did 4 rounds of power walking and then did the last 2 rounds as a run again. So at least I did more than half of the rounds as a run.
On the floor, we also had 10 rounds of 90 seconds on and a recovery after. For the floor, we had different types of burpees to do and then we had exercises to do during the recovery time. The recovery exercises were pop squats, pop jacks, and squat jacks. I did the pop jacks and squat jacks just as regular squats. We had one exercise per recovery for the 45 second recoveries and all of them combined for the 1 minute recoveries. I usually had about 15 seconds to actually recover each time. And the burpee types were one per round and we had ultimate burpees, rolling burpees, hand-lift burpees, burpees to bench hops, and burpees with palms to elbows. I did all of these with using my bench for my hands so I could jump back and forth and made some minor modifications with a few of them. But for the most part I did them as we were supposed to do. It was exhausting, but that’s the idea behind Hell Week. And my friends and I were so proud of ourselves for finishing the first Hell Week class!
Friday’s workout was called The Haunting Hills, so I knew it was going to be a hill based workout. But it was also a 3 group workout so I was only going to have to tolerate hill work for about 15 minutes before being able to move to the next part of the room.
The treadmill block was one long block that was at our own pace. For power walkers, we started at 12% incline and had a .125 mile walk. When that was done, we had squats with calf raises and then back to the treadmill to do the same distance but we got to bring the incline down 1%. I rarely use higher than 10% incline when I’m power walking, so doing the 12% and 11% rounds were tough on me. But the distance was short enough that by the time I was wondering if I should bring the incline down the round was done.
On the rower, we had a similar format to the treadmill. We started with a 400 meter row and then pulsing half squats. We round we went down 50 meters on the rower and continued to do the squats between each row. I was more focused on form than pace, but I did get all my rows done in below the goal time. I think my form has gotten really solid lately, so I probably should switch to working on my power and speed so I can get my rows done faster. But I also want to make sure that I don’t sacrifice my form for speed when I do that.
The floor block ended up being the toughest for me. I really thought the treadmill would be, but on the floor we had back to back exercises that used the same muscles. The first block started with bicep curls on the straps followed immediately by seated bicep curls using weights. After 2 rounds of those we had 2 rounds of hip hinge low rows with weights and bridge rows on the straps. Doing the second exercise each time was so hard because my muscles aren’t used to having to be used the same way for 2 things in a row. The second block was triceps on the straps followed by triceps with weights for 2 rounds. And we ended with chest fly followed by chest press. For that last round, I had to go much lighter than normal with my weight. But I still felt like I worked just as hard as if I had the heaviest weight I have used.
Saturday’s workout was called The Carnival of Burning Souls, and it was a crazy one! We had 3 sections that had 3 blocks in each one and we switched every time. Each second had a block that was 1 minute, 90 seconds, and 2 minutes. So we would be on the treadmill for a minute, then the floor for a minute, the treadmill for 90 seconds, the floor for 90 seconds, the treadmill for 2 minutes, and finally the floor for 2 minutes. And we did that rotation 3 times!
On the treadmill, everything was basically an all out pace or a run for distance. So I ran for 1 minute 3 times, 90 seconds 3 times, and 2 minutes 3 times. I did run all of it and I was surprised that the 2 minute rounds didn’t feel as bad as I expected them to be. That might have been because I was on the floor right before doing it. We also had 1 last block at the very end which was 90 seconds long that had 2 30 second all out paces with a walking recovery in between. For all the running except those 30 second all outs were at my normal running speed. For the 2 30 second ones, I increased my speed and I think all my previous running that workout helped to loosen up my body because it just felt great to do it!
All of the segments that I ran were a pretty short distance so I didn’t feel like I had run that far. But I am still tracking my mileage in my workouts when I can, and I have never been more grateful for that! When I got home after the workout and added up every segment that I ran, I did just over 1.5 miles in class! It didn’t feel like that at all and I know I ran almost all of that. There was the warmup in the beginning of class for a couple of minutes and some cool downs each round that had walking, but a majority of the time I was on the treadmill I was running and I can’t believe I did that much distance in my cardio!
On the floor, each segment was just one exercise. So we would do that exercise for 1 minute, 90 seconds, and 2 minutes. Doing just one exercise for that long is not easy, but I I tried my best. The first segment was neutral thrusters. I started with a lighter weight than I usually use, but for the 90 second round I had to go even lighter. I didn’t realize how long 1 minute would feel doing the same thing the entire time and I didn’t want to have issues for the other rounds. The next segment was lunges, which I modified by using the bench for stability. And the last segment was push-ups which I modified by doing them on my knees. And at the very end, we had a 90 second block that was doing each of the exercises for 30 seconds. That felt so easy compared to what we had been doing before!
Comparing this Hell Week to previous ones is a tough thing. I think some of the workouts felt easier and some felt harder. And I’m sure I’ll feel the same way about the workouts I have this week. They might be easier because I’m much stronger than I was before and they might be harder because I’m pushing myself more. But either way, I feel like I did some amazing work this past week in my workouts and as silly as this sounds, I’m really proud of myself!
So many of the changes I’ve made in my life over the past few years seem to come from things I’ve dealt with in onlinedating. I’ve questioned if it’s a good thing that I’m discovering so much about myself through dating and how men see me, but I’m starting to think it’s a good thing. This isn’t just about dating, but dating makes it a different environment. I’ve always been a people pleaser, but I’ve notice that this can also allow for people to walk over me. And this wasn’t as clear to me before as it has become after a guy treated me that way. So I’m just thinking that dating has given me a new perspective to view behaviors in my life and how I react to them.
I do still have things to work on and those issues are much clearer to me now, but I feel like I have become a much more confident person recently once I stopped worrying as much about what men think of me. I’ve allowed myself to be rude when it was warranted. I never would have done that before because I didn’t want someone to think I wasn’t kind or nice. But there are times where it doesn’t matter what someone else thinks because you need to do what is going to give you the answers or life you need. I still won’t be mean out of nowhere and I do hesitate to reject a guy when I’m questioning some things. I will always err on the side of being nice, but when I need to stand up for myself I will do so.
I’ve had a few chances to do that this past week, both with guys that I had gone out with about a year ago. It’s weird how guys from my past seem to reach out around the same time, but it has happened that way more than once. With these guys, things ended for different reasons so while my feelings about them were both something I questioned I still had different feelings.
For one guy, it didn’t end that well. It doesn’t matter why it ended, but it was something that made me mad and I held on to that feeling longer than I should have. He reached out to me to say how he missed me and wanted to see me again. And I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that I was willing to see him even though he didn’t treat me that well before. But of course, even before I could see him he ended up treating me with the same lack of respect that he had before. I did allow it last year and I guess he thought he could still treat me the same way. But I called him out on the behavior and I didn’t see him. If he reaches out to me again, I would love to say I would ignore him but I honestly don’t know. It seems like some people are harder to kick out of your life than others.
The second guy was someone who I went out with a few times. Things ended because we were in different places in our lives. He had a bit of an issue with follow through when making plans, which annoyed me, but nothing was that bad. It ended, but it didn’t feel like it was for any reason other than I didn’t want to waste my time if I wasn’t feeling totally certain about him. And with that feeling, someone could change my mind because the things that didn’t work are things that could easily be fixed.
With this guy, I was very clear about my stance on what I am looking for and that if he didn’t want the same I didn’t want to waste time. He said he wanted the same and we made plans to see each other. And based on all my past experience I shouldn’t have been surprised when again he lacked the follow through for making plans. And I’m more than happy to call him out on it if he reaches out again. If someone wants to date me, they have to make plans and do those. Or if they need to reschedule they need to let me know. They can’t just say that we will be seeing each other after work on a certain day and then never make plans even after I text to ask what we are doing. This is something that can be changed, but I also know that I can’t go into something wanting someone to change. They need to want the change for themselves.
In the past, I would be terrified to let either of these guys out of my life or to stand strong on what I want and what I deserve. I would have felt lucky that anyone was interested in me and would be doing whatever it takes to not be too much work for them to want to be with. I would not allow myself to have my own standards and conform to theirs because I wouldn’t feel like I had the right to want something different. This has been a very tough thing for me to overcome because I had heard that I didn’t deserve it for so many years. But I’m so glad that the automatic thinking that was in my head for a majority of my life is starting to chip away.
I have no clue if I will give either of these guys another chance, but I know for sure that if I do allow them one I will continue to be strong in what I want and deserve.
Posted onOctober 25, 2018|Comments Off on Union Working Support (or Celebrities And Middle Class Actors Unite)
This week was another Union Working meeting and as always it was so informative and inspiring. Even if there aren’t action steps for me to take when I leave a meeting, I always leave wanting to do more and finding out more ways for me to help and be involved. I felt for a while that running the live stream of our meetings wasn’t enough to help, but now I realize that it is an important job and really appreciated by members who are in LA and cannot attend as well as members who live in other cities.
This meeting didn’t have as much of an agenda as some in the past have had, but we still had lots of things to go over.
There was a brief discussion about the W&W meetings that have been happening. I really have wanted to attend one, but the way my schedule works it’s not easy. And when I thought I could attend the last part of a meeting, something comes up that prevents me from going. I still have a few more chances to go, but there is a possibility that I won’t be able to make it to one and that’s a bit upsetting to me. I really planned on going because it is so important to be there. But I also know there will be more opportunities in the future when maybe my schedule isn’t as packed.
One of the big things we discussed at the meeting was our social media presence. We have got some great things up on our Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube pages and we want everyone to subscribe to them if they are interested in supporting unions or knowing more about unions. Union Working isn’t just about the actor union, we support all unions. And if you’ve checked out any of our social media, you may have seen a lot of pictures like these.
And that’s because we have been reaching out to celebrities to see who wants to join Union Working in supporting our union, making our union stronger, and supporting all other unions. So many famous people have wanted to help us which is amazing. We know that there is strength in numbers, but there is added strength in having known people joining the cause. And I’m so grateful that so many people who have such busy schedules have taken time out to help us.
And we are continuing to look for celebrities who want to help us. Most of them remember what it was like to be a struggling actor or a middle class actor. And sadly, with so many projects becoming non-union, the idea of being a middle class actor is going away. People used to be able to support themselves by doing a few commercials a year. Now, that’s not happening. There is still a middle class of actors who support themselves but are not famous or known, but those numbers are getting smaller and smaller.
We need the help of those who can help us and I’m so happy that we have gotten some incredible people to join us in our fight for all union members! There are more videos about this on the Union Working YouTube page and more amazing videos are coming soon. I can’t wait until everyone can see what has been in the works and what we want the world to see.
One of the last things that was discussed was having more Union Working groups around the country. While LA is one of the biggest areas for actors, there are actors all over and some of the cities that used to be considered minor markets are now very busy with work. We know that we have the support of people outside of LA, we just want them to be able to keep building those communities of support like we have here. And one of the things we do for those other cities is the live stream that I run. I loved watching the comments on the live stream come in from people who don’t live in LA. And they can ask questions at our meetings as well since I can see those questions as they are posted and ask them on their behalf.
We will have one more Union Working meeting in November for this year and as soon as that information is finalized I’ll be sharing it on my social media so those who want to join us can do so. Then we’ll have the holidays off before getting back to our regular meetings in the new year. I’ve already done so much with this group in 2018, and I can’t wait to see what I’m able to accomplish next year when I’m sure I’ll get even more involved.
Posted onOctober 24, 2018|Comments Off on A Boring Tumor Check In (or Still A Miracle)
This week I had my appointment with my liver surgeon. I had my MRI about a week ago and this appointment was mainly just to confirm that everything is still ok with me. When I saw my surgeon a year ago, I was just so grateful to know that the shrinking tumors wasn’t a fluke. I was pretty nervous about things leading up to the appointment because I felt like things kept changing every appointment. But now, things seem almost routine (or as routine as they can be when you have multiple non-cancerous tumors in your liver).
Before my appointment with my surgeon, I had the text copy of my MRI report. When I first learned about my tumors, there were 3 of them. Last year, they could only see 2 of them. These tumors will never go away completely, but they can get so small that they aren’t seen on a scan anymore. And this time, I still only had 2 tumors in my report and they were even smaller! Last year, my surgeon mentioned that getting all my tumors under 3cm was a goal to have in mind because it makes some things less risky for me. And at that appointment last year the biggest one was just over 3cm. But according to this new MRI report, it was under that! So I was pretty excited to see my surgeon and hear what he had to say.
I’ve said this before, but I am so lucky with my liver surgeon. He is very upfront and honest about things with me, but my appointments also feel very casual and almost like a novelty. He’s not used to having patients who have shrinking tumors, so I think he is entertained by my case. And that’s fine with me because I’m pretty entertained by it too! And I think having these appointments feel so calm and casual has helped me relax about a medical situation that could be very scary.
He knew that I already saw the text to my MRI report so he confirmed what I read. My largest tumor, which started at about 10cm, was now 2.2cm. My smallest tumor is still not seen on the scan. And the medium-sized tumor had a little decrease in size from 1.1cm to 1cm (but that one started at 3cm). When we watched the images from my MRI, the biggest tumor looks so tiny in my liver now!
It’s also still completely inside my liver which is a good thing. When we discovered it, the tumor was half inside and half outside my liver. It was hanging off (as my surgeon likes to put it, it was hanging off like a bunch of grapes) and that was a very risky and dangerous thing. If the tumor broke off my liver, I could have had massive internal bleeding. It’s a big relief to know that not only is the tumor smaller, but that it is still completely inside my liver.
After looking at the images, we discussed the plan. There isn’t a big plan since this is still an unknown situation for my surgeon, but this is all good news. We discussed my future and what things can be riskier for me and what is now safe that the tumors are smaller. If in the future I need fertility treatments, they are an option for me now but I will need to be monitored. The same goes for if I’m pregnant in the future. I will still be high-risk, but it’s not as dangerous as it would have been before. Unfortunately, hormonal birth control is still too risky for me so I can’t go back to how things were before. But if that’s the only thing that is too risky for me, that’s not that bad.
We also discussed my future monitoring. My surgeon said if I wanted to have MRIs every other year instead of every year, we could do that. While I don’t love having MRIs, they aren’t the worst thing for me anymore. So I told him that if he wanted to do annual scans I would be ok with that. So he decided that I would have another MRI in a year and then we would reevaluate the plan in a year. And of course if anything changes or I have something happen, I can let him know and I can have a scan and appointment sooner. But I don’t expect anything to happen that would make me need to go in sooner than a year.
This seriously was such a normal and almost boring appointment. Nothing that big was said beyond confirming my tumors are shrinking. It’s so weird to think about how 2 years ago when I learned about the tumors everything seemed so crazy and hectic. I felt like a lot of things were happening quickly and was just trying to stay calm. Now, only 2 years later, seeing my liver surgeon was one of the easiest and least stressful doctor appointments I’ve had. The only weird thing we went over in my appointment was about the gallstone I currently have. It’s one large gallstone that is bigger than any of my tumors. But it’s better to have one big stone compared to a bunch of little ones. But we discussed that if I do have gallbladder issues again that he can take it out for me and take out the largest tumor as well. But I’m not expecting to need that soon. I haven’t had a gallbladder attack since the tumors shrank and that’s probably because the tumor was distorting my liver and pressing on my gallbladder. Now that the tumors are smaller, my gallbladder isn’t affected the same way.
So that’s really it from my appointment. There weren’t any big things discussed and the plan is to do another scan in a year. But there is no reason to expect that my tumors will grow again in the next year. I know there is a chance they won’t shrink anymore, but we aren’t expecting them to grow since they haven’t done that in any of my scans. Since discovering them 2 years ago, every scan has shown them getting smaller.
It’s been a crazy 2 year journey so far! I went from discovering I had tumors and needing surgery in October 2016, to finding out the tumors shrank in April 2017, to having them continue to shrink in my October 2017 scan, and now they’ve gotten even smaller!
Posted onOctober 23, 2018|Comments Off on Being Social Outside Of Workouts (or Making OTF Friends)
Pretty much since the first Orangetheory location opened in Los Angeles in Brentwood, there have been social events for members. They want to make the studio feel like a community and I love that about Orangetheory. They have done hikes, beach days, yoga classes, and other fun things. I’ve only made it to the yoga class though.
A lot of the social events happen on Saturdays. The beach days and hikes have almost always been on a Saturday. While I could go after I’m done with work to the beach days (especially if I skip my workout that day), I could never make the hikes because I have to work. I guess I could use some of my banked hours to miss a shift, but since Saturdays are one of our busiest days I feel bad when I do that. And some of the other social events have been on a Friday evening. For me those were tough to go to because of my schedule and drive time. If I went after a workout on a Friday evening, I had 2 options. One would be to shower at Orangetheory, wait a few hours, and then be a part of whatever event was happening. The other would be to drive home (which sometimes took over 90 minutes), shower, drive back to where I was, and then be late for the event. Neither of those were good options for me so I never went.
But once the Culver City location opened, I knew that I’d have a better chance of going to one of the fun things they would be planning. Some of the events are the same ones that the Brentwood one does because they are regional events (like the hikes and beach days), so I had missed those. And they did do a wine tasting event at a bar near the studio, but since I’m not drinking right now I didn’t feel like paying for an event that I couldn’t really participate in.
But this past Friday, there was finally an event I could go to! It was hanging out at Rush St (where I seem to go all the time) and while that is a bar it wasn’t necessarily an alcohol event like a wine tasting. We had the back patio area reserved for Orangetheory for a few hours that evening and we could hang out, order food and drinks if we wanted to, and just have a fun time. And since I work out in the mornings, it was super easy to go to something that night!
I’ve joked to people that when someone from my workouts sees me in normal clothes, a lot of times they are shocked. I have long hair but since I have it in a top knot during a workout most people don’t realize that. Plus since my hair is so thin, the top knot doesn’t look like it’s holding a lot of hair. The first time people from the Brentwood studio saw me with my hair down, many of them couldn’t stop saying that I have long hair. I guess they weren’t expecting that. So I thought I might have the same situation with this event.
When I got there a couple of coaches as well as front desk staff were there. But I didn’t recognize anyone from class. I knew that there was a chance that even if I was next to someone who usually is in class with me, I might not recognize them. People do look different in normal clothes and I’m usually in my head and focusing on myself during workouts. I don’t really pay attention to others, but I think a lot of people are the same way. I tried to not be shy when I didn’t really know anyone there, and fortunately there were people who brought me into their conversations so I wasn’t there alone and looking awkward.
I had gotten there toward the beginning of the event and it wasn’t that packed when I arrived. But people were quickly showing up and before I knew it the patio area was packed and there were so many people hanging out! I still didn’t recognize anyone from class, but I didn’t mind it after a bit. Several of us said we should have written what class times we take on the name tags we had so we could tell who might have been in class with us. But since everyone was in the same situation with wondering who they have seen in class before, it wasn’t that weird. We all were joking about it whenever we were meeting someone knew.
Since I didn’t see anyone I knew from class (or if we had been in class before, it was only a few times), nobody was shocked by how I looked out of workout clothes. But when one of my coaches arrived an hour after it started, she took a look at me and couldn’t believe that I had long hair. It was funny seeing her shocked at my appearance, but I also think that it’s a good thing that I look very different in a workout compared to when I’m in normal clothes. I never look good during a workout because I don’t really care how I look, so I would hate it if I still looked the same when I make an effort.
I was at the bar for longer than I was planning on being there. I work on Saturday mornings so I usually am not out that late on a Friday night. But I was having such a great time meeting new people and getting to hang out with my coaches in a social setting that time just flew by. I met so many new people who go to Orangetheory, but many of them work out super early or in the afternoon or evenings so I won’t be seeing them in class. But many of us did exchange numbers so we can hang out another time. And many of them have never done Hell Week before so they wanted my advice on how I have done it in the past. I’m always happy to help out people who have questions about the workouts so I was just glad I could help a little bit.
So many people talk about how hard it is to make friends as an adult. I agree completely with that idea because it really isn’t easy. I work from home by myself so I don’t make friends at work. I have made friends from workouts, but those friendships usually take months to happen because most people there aren’t looking around to chat before or after a workout. I do make friends at parties or union events, but that’s not always the case. So to have a night out with people that I know have one big thing in common with me was such a great opportunity to make new friends. And I’m so glad that’s exactly what happened.
Posted onOctober 22, 2018|Comments Off on A Week Of Progress (or Feeling More Like Me)
Last week, I wrote about how I was hoping this past week of workouts wouldn’t be a week where I felt nauseous. It seemed like I would be feeling back to normal by Monday, and I really was optimistic. But it didn’t end up being that way. But with the issues I had, I found new ways to make progress and ended the week on a high note.
Monday’s workout was a power day, but I decided to stick with the bike again. I wasn’t feeling nauseous before the workout, but I was scared it might kick in during class. And I’m working on what I can do to help keep the nausea away when there is a chance I’ll have it but not experiencing it. And I think using the bike instead of the treadmill is one of those things that is a good option to do.
We had 5 blocks on cardio and they all had a similar pattern with a push pace, base pace, and ending with a push to all out pace. Each block the push pace before the all out got longer so it became a bit more challenging to do an all out after it. I was using my normal resistance levels for all the bike work but tried to do some faster pedaling with the push and all out paces. When we got to the longer push paces, I tried to do almost like my run/walk intervals with the pedaling. I would do some speedy pedaling and then recover a bit with pedaling slower but still being at the same resistance level. It was a new challenge and made working on the bike different and fun. And I did feel like I was working much harder!
On the floor, we had one long block with adding on exercises. Each round started with a row, but as we added on exercises the rows got shorter. The exercises included neutral full thrusters with weights, Y raises on the straps, bench tap squats, plank jacks to push ups, and lunges with weights. The rows were all pretty short starting with 300 meters and going down 50 meters each time, so I was able to do those easily and within my time goals. And the floor work was going well for the most part until I got to the plank jacks to push ups. When I’m nauseous I don’t do things that make me face down and parallel to the ground. I was feeling pretty good so I wasn’t thinking about that until I started the plank jacks. Then my nausea came back and it was lasting longer than I thought. So I had to switch to doing them with my hands on the bench to not be totally parallel to the floor. I made it through the lunges which was the last exercise just as the workout ended. There were bonus rounds I was hoping to get to, but I was happy just to finish everything that we were supposed to.
Wednesday’s workout was an endurance day. While my nausea was almost gone, I was dealing with a queasy stomach and was being extra cautious. I don’t know what caused the queasiness, but I was going to do what I do when I’m nauseous to make sure that I was going to be able to do the workout to the best of my ability.
I was on the bike for cardio and we had 3 blocks. The focus of all of the blocks was coming back to base pace after a push pace so most of the push paces were a minute or under. It was nice to not have all 3 minute push paces like we do sometimes for endurance days. I kept my resistance levels at the usual levels and I didn’t do the intervals like I did on Monday since the push paces were shorter. But I did try to keep pedaling faster to make up for the shorter segments. I did have a few moments of nausea hitting me when I had to stop on the bike to let it pass, but I was just so glad that it was even less frequent than Monday because it felt like my nausea was lasting forever this time.
On the floor, we had 2 regular blocks and 1 rowing block. The first floor block was all mini-band work. We had weighted squats, hip bridges, and weighted ab twists. I used 20lb weights for all the exercises which is normal for the squats and hip bridges but a bit heavier than I normally do for ab twists. I’ve struggled in the past with the mini-bands getting really twisted on my legs, but this time they stayed where they were placed so I didn’t have to waste time fixing them. The second block was weighted squats to upright rows, mountain climbers, and half get ups. I had to go to a lighter weight for this block for the squats and half get ups because I was dealing with some shoulder soreness that I’ve had from time to time the past month or so, but that also allowed me to be slower with my movements and in turn that made them feel harder.
The row block was an interesting one. It was using the rowing as the recovery but it didn’t feel like recovery. We had 3 rounds of doing 30 seconds of squats followed by 1 minute to do a 150 meter row. That row should take under 45 seconds, but you also have to consider the time it takes to get strapped into the rower. If you finish the row before the minute is done, then you get to have a full recovery. For me, I was finishing the row with maybe 5 seconds to go so it wasn’t really a recovery at all. The end of the rowing block was a 30 second push row to a 1 minute all out row. I did try to increase my wattage for the all out row, but it wasn’t easy with it being at the end of the workout. But I did my best and got the wattage up a tiny bit by the end.
Friday’s workout was really working in my favor. I was finally not nauseous, it was a power day, it was a switch day, and it was a 3 group workout. So I knew I could be on the treadmill and really do my best. I was never going to be on the treadmill for that long and there would be a lot of opportunities for me to work on my running. I had been craving running (even when I was nauseous) recently and I was so happy that I’d get to do that.
For the treadmill, the first and last block were the same and the middle one was different. The first and third block were really short and since I knew I’d be coming off the treadmill when the block was done I really went for it. Those blocks were a 45 second push pace, 45 second base pace, and a 30 second all out. For the first block I ran my push and all out at my normal running speed and walked my base pace. But for the last block I wanted to try to do more so I increased my speed for the all out and ran the fastest I’ve run in probably a year! The second block was a little longer with a set of 1 minute intervals with push paces, base paces, and all outs followed by a set of 30 second intervals doing the same. I was using my normal running speed for all the 1 minute push and all outs and for the 30 second push paces. But I increased my speed for the 30 second all out (which is what inspired me to do more in the last block) and I was just so happy.
On the rower, the first and third block were the same with 3 rounds of a 30 second all out pace followed by 15 seconds to recover. 15 seconds of recovery feels like nothing so it just felt like a few minutes of rowing. I wasn’t getting my wattage as high as I would have liked, but I tried. The middle block was rounds of rowing with lunges between each round. We started at a 100 meter row and went up 50 meters each time. My hips were feeling a bit tight when I was doing the lunges (probably due to the running), so I didn’t have the easiest time with them. But I used the rower for balance and almost used them more as stretches.
And on the floor, just like with the treadmill and rower, the first and third blocks were the same. We had timed exercises with squats with medicine ball presses, sit up with shoulder presses using the medicine ball, and atomic mountain climbers. Each exercise was for 30 seconds with 15 seconds of recovery between to get ready for the next exercise. The second block had good mornings to tricep kickbacks, single arm clean to press, bear steps, and singe arm chest presses. I used my normal weights for the weight work because I was getting a bit tired and didn’t want my form to suffer. But I could feel how hard I was working even though I didn’t use super heavy weights.
Saturday’s workout was endurance, strength, and power based and it ended up being the highlight of the week for me. I was feeling so great after running on Friday that I wanted to do it again. And I had a great opportunity to do that during the treadmill portion of class.
The first block was endurance based with a 3 minute push pace, 2 minute base pace, 1 minute push pace, and 1 minute all out. I did the long push pace as 1 minute run/walk intervals, walked the base pace, and ran the last push and all out pace. 2 minutes of running felt long, but I felt awesome after doing it! The next block was focused on strength so we had incline work, and I walked for all of that. But we still ended with a 1 minute push pace to a 1 minute all out and I ran those 2 minutes again. And the last block just had 2 rounds of 1 minute push paces to 1 minute all out paces and I ran those too! The last few were tough and I think I might have overdone it a bit with the running, but I really just wanted to do it and I’m glad I did.
For the floor work, we started with a block on the rower. We had rounds of rowing with body weight exercises between each row. For the first 2 rounds, we had 100 meter rows. The next 2 rounds were 10 pulls on the rower. And the last round was 30 second rows. I only got through 1 of the 30 second rows. And between each row we had either squats or lunges. The next block was weighted work with lateral lunges and plank rows. And the last block was a partner core blast where one partner held a side plank while the other had bicycle crunches and leg raises. For some reason my heart rate was so high during this workout and it wasn’t coming back down like it normally does, so I was using the time I was supposed to be side planking as a little bit of a rest. I didn’t want to be slacking while I was doing the core work because my partner was waiting on me!
I’m so glad that this past week of workouts ended on a high note. I have needed this victory feeling and I’m feeling much more optimistic about my workouts than I was the week before. And I’m glad I’m in a better workout mindset because this week is the beginning of Hell Week! I’m doing 3 days of Hell Week this week and 2 days of it the week after, so I’ll be writing all about it over the next 2 weeks!
Posted onOctober 19, 2018|Comments Off on Job Hunting (or You Never Know Unless You Ask)
I’ve written about my job situation on here a few times. It’s been up and down over the years, but I have been lucky that for the past few years things have been relatively steady. I’ve had 2 main day jobs and even though one of them varied in the number of hours it was still something. But since one of my day jobs is a government contract job, it’s always been a bit of an unknown what each year would be like for me.
My contracts for that job are renewed each September and it was looking like this contract was actually going to be a much bigger contract than what we thought. I was so excited about that because money is always tight for me and I can use more money to pay off more debt. But then things changed and there was no new contract for me this September. This is not due to my work performance or even what my job wants. It literally is a government contract that is decided way above all of our heads. My boss felt horrible that there wasn’t a new contract right away, but she was hopeful there would be a new one soon.
I thought maybe there would be a month or two delay before the new contract was ready to go. And it’s still possible that I’ll be signing my new contract soon, but there’s no date estimate yet. It could still be a few more months or it could be tomorrow. But right now there is no way to know when it will happen until it happens.
I do expect that I will be working for that job again soon, but at the same time I need to figure out something else to help supplement my income right now. Even though I didn’t make a ton of money at the job during the past contract, it was money that paid my bills and I need it. I did just get a small raise at my other day job, but that only covers about 25% of what I was making at the contract job. So while I have been a bit lazy about job hunting (because I was hoping that I would be on a new contract soon), I can’t do that anymore. I need to find something that I can do that will cover what I’m not making right now.
I’ve had a lot of luck with finding jobs through people I know or people I previously worked for. My current box office job is through a friend who worked for the company. My contract job is through an old boss of mine. And my will call job (which is usually one day every other month or so) is also through an old boss of mine. Even the random temporary jobs I have had in the past few years have been from friends knowing I’m looking for work and knew of a job that fit what I can do.
So I’m putting it out here again. I need another part-time job. Ideally it would be a remote position so I could work from home like I already do and that I could do it between my customers at my box office job. I have a lot of downtime and would prefer to use it productively instead of watching lots of random things online or searching different Internet forums. I know that I’m asking for something very specific, but I know what type of work would work best in my current situation. And hopefully there would be something that fits that and is looking to hire.
It would be amazing if someone reading this knows of a job that I could apply for. I am always so grateful for people who are willing and able to help me out or consider me for jobs they know about. It’s not easy finding a job, especially a job that is flexible enough for me to continue pursing acting. It’s a hustle to make it doing what I love, but it’s so worth it to me. I know that one day my hard work will pay off and I look forward to that day. But for now, I need to find another day job to help support me in pursing my dreams. And hopefully putting this out there will help me find that job and will be the next amazing story of all the day jobs I’ve had.
Posted onOctober 18, 2018|Comments Off on Getting Ready To See My Liver Surgeon Again (or My Annual MRI)
It’s crazy to think that it’s been a year since my last liver MRI. It seems like it wasn’t that long ago, but that might be because I do think about my liver tumors from time to time. I don’t dwell on them, but they are in my mind and I try to make choices that are good for my liver. I know that drinking and eating certain foods can’t hurt or help my tumors, but I have no idea why my liver is able to shrink these tumors on its own. So I try not to do anything that will stress my liver out so it can work the best it can.
At the same time, tomorrow marks 2 years since I learned there was something potentially wrong with my liver. It feels like I’ve been dealing with my liver story for much longer than 2 years! But I guess it’s just because it was such a huge focus of my life for 6 months before my miracle. And for my 2 year anniversary of discovering the tumors, I had another MRI to check in on them.
While I’ve had issues before with needles, things went better than expected when I had my blood drawn to check my kidneys before the MRI. But I was still nervous about the needle for the IV as well as how I would feel being in the MRI machine if I wasn’t feeling my best. The morning of the MRI I was having lower nausea than the days before, but I still took some medication to make sure I wouldn’t get nauseous or have too painful of cramps when the tests were being done. I know that staying still is so important in an MRI and for most of the images I need to hold my breath. So I wanted to be in the least about of pain and nausea possible.
The MRI was running behind (which I expected so I had my book with me), so while I was waiting I tried to stay hydrated so the IV would be easier to get in and just relax. I wasn’t focusing on what was coming up, just on what was happening in that moment so that I could stay calm. They ended up not running as behind as they thought so before I knew it I was in my hospital gown and ready to go.
They did the IV in my arm after I was already settled on the bed of the MRI machine. That was fine with me since I would already be laying down in case I passed out. I had a feeling I wouldn’t faint because it’s been so long since I actually fainted (versus blacking out where I can still hear things around me), but I like to be prepared.
Even with all the issues I’ve had with needles, it’s usually a quick process. I can’t remember the last time I needed multiple attempts at an IV or blood draw. I know that several years ago it too multiple shots to numb me before dental work, but that’s different. And for some reason, it took 3 tries to get my IV in. I tried not to be annoyed by it, but it was painful and by the third try I was feeling a bit off. But it finally worked and they were ready to get me into the machine for the MRI.
I’ve had enough MRIs over the past few years to know what to expect. It’s not the most fun thing to do, but it’s not bad. I know things could be much worse so I feel lucky that my MRIs are usually a quick process. Since we are only doing a check to see the size of the tumor (when I had my first ones it was to diagnose what it was), it’s usually only about 30 minutes inside the machine. I’ve got random things I think about to pass the time and I usually count the weird noises when I have to hold my breath. Some of the scans seem to take forever and I can’t hold my breath that long, but I really try my best to wait until I am instructed to relax.
A majority of my MRI is done with no contrast in my body. The last 2 or 3 scans are done after the contrast is put into my IV. In the past, the technicians have warned me when they were going to start the contrast. It’s not painful, but it’s cold and a very weird feeling. I can feel it in my toes even though it starts in my arm. And you do feel it moving in your body. It’s just an uncomfortable feeling for a few seconds, but nothing I can’t tolerate. I don’t know why they didn’t warn me this time, but they didn’t. So I was a bit surprised when the contrast started but I also was grateful that meant that the MRI was almost done.
When they got me out of the machine, they got my IV out which was again painful. I don’t know why my skin was so sensitive, but it was. I ended up having a bruise in my arm where the IV was, but it faded after a few days and it wasn’t as sore as a normal bruise. I guess it’s just my battle scar from the MRI. I think I was trying so hard to not feel nauseous in the machine that it did come at me when I was getting dressed and ready to leave, but I knew I’d be home soon enough and could do more things to feel better.
I see my liver surgeon next week, but I’m not expecting it to be that exciting of an appointment. As long as my tumors aren’t growing, we aren’t going to do anything. I still may get them out one day even if they don’t grow, but that would be in combination with me getting my gallbladder out in the future. But since I haven’t had a gallbladder attack in a few years, I have no idea if I even need to do that anymore!
Even though last year I got great news and was told I didn’t need to worry about anything for a year, it still felt so connected to the stress of learning about the tumors and planning for surgery. Now that I’ve had another year removed from it, I finally feel like I might be back to normal again. I know that I will likely need to be checked from time to time, but it now feels like a check and not preparation for something big.
A Belated Brunch (or Just Enjoying Supporting Each Other)
