Some Highs And Lows Of My Body (or I Found One Possible Benefit To My Nausea)

I feel like a broken record writing about my nausea on here. And my body feels like a broken record too because this just keeps happening over and over again. Fortunately, it’s decreased in length a bit. When this started up again 2 years ago, the nausea was about 2 weeks a month so it was 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off. Now, its between 7-10 days long so sometimes it’s 1 week on and 3 weeks off. And I’m always grateful for the time that I’m not feeling poorly, even if it is limited.

But while the length has gotten better the actual symptoms feel like they are getting worse each month. I need to be better about tracking this because I know it hasn’t been a steady increase in pain, but I think overall it is much worse. And this cycle things are worse than they ever have been for me. I hate complaining, but with the way my body feels right now that’s just where my head is.

As I am typing this, I am using so many different things to try to keep the nausea and pain low. I am wearing my anti-nausea bands, I have a heat pack on my stomach, I have KT tape on my stomach (a newer thing I learned that helps with the cramps), I’m staying as hydrated as possible, I have taken painkillers, I took anti-nausea meds, I look menstrual pain relief medications, and I’m keeping anti-nausea lozenges in my mouth. I don’t know what else I can do and I know my doctor and I have been working on any other options for me.

Normally, I am in pain and nauseous but it is lessened by just a few of these treatment options. This time, it doesn’t even feel like the edge has been taken off. I’m so glad I work from home because I want to have all my things around me, but I also know I’m not working at my best right now. I did get some new suggestions from people online for things to try (if anyone has personal experience with a TENS device I’d love to know about it!) but I also know that without hormonal treatments I am limited.

I have been telling myself that in 2 years this is the first time it’s as bad as it is. So many it will never be this bad again for another 2 years. I still would prefer to never feel like this again, but I also know that I need to be realistic and prepare for when this does happen again. I don’t want to be caught off guard and not have things in my home to make this better. I don’t feel safe driving when I’m in this much pain (some of the cramps are giving me white outs in my vision) so I don’t want to have to leave my home for any remedies.

I know this all sounds really horrible and awful, but I also know that there are so many people who have things worse than I do. At least I have options that work most of the time and have a doctor who is more than willing to help me find something that works. My doctor believes my pain which sadly isn’t the case for so many people. I couldn’t imagine what I would have to do if my doctor thought the pain couldn’t be this bad or that it was all in my head. She knows it’s real and she wishes she could make it stop for me.

I did randomly find one possible benefit to my nausea this week though. I had to get blood work done because I am having a liver MRI this weekend. Before any MRI that uses contrast dye, you have to get blood drawn so they can test kidney function. This makes sure that your body will be ok with the dye. The dye can cause issues for people with kidney problems so they always check before every MRI. I got mine done on Wednesday after work and was wondering how getting blood work done while feeling horrible would be.

I don’t really faint the same way that I used to with needles, but I still have these weird blackout moments. When a needle goes under my skin, my entire body tenses up and I hold my breath. It’s weird and I can’t seem to stop that part, but I’m just glad I’m not passing out completely. And when I have these blackout moments, I’m still conscious and aware so I always hear medical staff talking to me and telling me to relax or breathe. I can’t in the moment, but when it passes I relax and my breathing is normal again. While I do always warn any medical staff that I do this, I think they are always surprised by it. But I feel glad that this is a minor reaction to a needle and I feel totally fine when it’s over. I’m not shaky or light-headed. I can just go on with my day. It was a little different when I got Botox, but I think that was because the needle was only a part of it and feeling the Botox go into my skin also freaked me out a bit.

When I went in for my blood work on Wednesday, I warned the lab tech the same way that I always warn people. I don’t want them to be scared when it happens or think that I need medical help when it’s done because I’m sure it looks scary in the moment for them. Most people don’t tense up or hold their breath when getting blood drawn, so they aren’t used to it. I didn’t say anything about already being in pain or nauseous because I didn’t want to worry them more nor did I know what it would be like this time.

To my surprise, somehow things were actually a little easier for me! I still tensed up and held my breath, but it was much shorter than normal and it didn’t feel the same way it had in the past. Usually I can feel a bit of soreness from where my muscles tensed up, but this time I didn’t have any feeling after I relaxed. It was a nice surprise and I was glad that it wasn’t worse than expected. The blood draw is only for one test so it’s super fast. Pretty much right after I was back to normal the needle was out of my arm and I was on my way to do other things I needed to do after work.

Of course, I don’t want to wish to be more nauseous whenever I need to do blood work. While it was easier this time, it was not that much of a difference so the added pain and annoyance of the nausea didn’t outweigh the benefit. But it did make me feel a bit better about how my MRI will go this weekend. I am not looking forward to the IV being put into my arm, but maybe it won’t be as bad as all the other times because of the nausea. I would prefer for the nausea to be gone today so I don’t have to worry about it during the MRI. I’m still nervous about being in the machine for all that time without being able to move if I have a bad cramp or if I feel like I need to throw up. But I’m trying to stay optimist about it all.

Ideally I won’t have to deal with this pain and nausea every month for that much longer, but realistically that’s not going to happen. But at least I found a small silver lining to the cloud of all this stuff I deal with every month.

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