The longer we are told to stay at home, the harder I’m finding it to figure out new monthly challenges. My life seems stagnant. I don’t feel like anything in my life is moving forward. I’m trapped in this moment of time and nothing is changing. I know I’m not alone in this feeling, but that doesn’t make it easier to deal with. I’ve said that this year is going to be the lost year. I have to understand that I might not accomplish much at all this year. But if not accomplishing much means I stay safe and healthy, it’s worth it.
Most of my monthly challenges lately have been about trying to stay positive in this difficult time. And that’s exactly what last month’s challenge was all about. I wanted to try to focus on the good and track good things that happen to me each day. I know I need to remember that even on my worst day, there is something that was good about it. It might be something as small as eating something I like or being able to watch a good show on tv. But no matter what, there is always some good every single day.
I wasn’t sure how I would track these things, but it ended up just being easiest to combine it with my gratitude list that I made each night. I made sure that at least one thing listed on the gratitude list was something that made the day good. And there were some days that I had really good things like being able to see a friend or having an amazing workout. And there were plenty of days where the only good thing was that I slept ok or that I didn’t do something destructive. August wasn’t a horrible month for me, but it was still a tough one and I needed to make sure that I didn’t make things worse for me by forgetting the good that I had.
I’m planning on continuing this idea because I know that with each month that passes with the pandemic still being a huge concern, I’m feeling more and more disconnected from my life and what I have liked to do in the past. And I need to be reminded that things are not all bad and that there are some things from my life that I am still enjoying or that are good.
My monthly challenges for the past 6 months have all been along the same line. My motivation to do a lot of things isn’t that high right now, so I am trying to find challenges that aren’t too difficult to accomplish. And I try to find things that I know I need to do, especially with the setbacks that I’ve been encountering while staying at home.
And this month’s challenge is no different. I know I’m not on track with so many aspects of my life. I have been letting things go, ignoring stuff I should focus on, and haven’t been caring enough about things that I used to care about. Some of this is about my health and weight. My workouts haven’t been what I know they should be. My food is much worse than it’s been in a while. My sleep is still tough at times and I’m sometimes having a week or two with under 4 hours a sleep a night. And some of these things about my physical health is taking a toll on my mental health so I’m not focusing on doing things that I know will make me happy.
So this month, I want to work on getting back on track. I need to figure out a schedule for myself, even if I don’t have much to do. I need to prioritize myself more and to make sure that I’m setting myself up for things that will be positive for me. I need to get my food under control (or at least more regular). And I need to push myself harder in my workouts when I can.
I have gained weight in the past 6 months. I’m not happy about it. I don’t feel like myself. I hate that my clothes don’t fit me correctly. I feel like I have ruined so much that I have worked so hard for. I know that weight is not everything, but I want to get back to a place where I feel like myself, and I know weight is something holding me back. And hopefully getting myself back on track with other things will result in at least a little weight loss. I’m not too concerned about getting back into weight loss more than getting myself back to where I was at the beginning of the year. If I lose more than that, then I do. But that’s not the goal I’m giving myself right now.
Hopefully, focusing on the things that have been getting out of control will result in a lot of good things for me. And maybe it will make things easier for whenever we start transitioning back to what life was life at the beginning of the year. I know that eventually, that will happen and I want to make that as easy as a switch as possible. And if I can get my life to feel close to what it used to feel like, then I think that will be an easy change for me when it happens.
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