For a long time, if someone invited me to something or asked me to help them out, I’d say yes pretty much any time.
You need someone to take you to the airport? Of course.
You’re birthday party is coming up and need a designated driver? Not a problem.
You want me in your student film? Totally!
If there was a party or event on a night that I wasn’t out-of-town, I was there. Part of the reason was because after my friendship with my college best friend ended, I realized that I was lacking a bit in Los Angeles friends. So I went outside of my comfort zone to try to meet new people.
And I’m super grateful I did that, because I have an amazing group of friends now, most of whom I met at various parties and events.
I don’t know if it’s an actor thing that I’m always saying yes to things. You never know who might be at that event that could be the person who changes your career or knows of the perfect part for you. It does happen. I met my agents because of a co-worker I met when I did Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios in 2007. If I didn’t do HHN, I doubt I would have my agents (who I absolutely love!).
But lately I’ve been trying to take back some power and say no to opportunities that don’t exactly fit me or my schedule. For example, this past Monday was the LA Actor Tweetup. I love going to the tweetups, and I’ve pretty much never missed one.
However, this Monday I was working until 8:30 and on work nights I try to be in bed by 11:30. By the time I would have gotten to the tweetup, I would have only spent about 30 minutes there before I would have gone home so I could eat a late dinner.
Could I have done that? Sure. But I really didn’t feel like going in to say hello just to have to say goodbye a few minutes later. So I went straight home from work, had my late dinner, and was in bed when I was hoping to be.
As far as acting jobs go, I’ve pretty much said sure to all that have been offered to me. My agents are aware of things I’m not really willing to do (nudity and shave my head are the two main ones), so I’m not auditioning for things that I would necessarily have a problem with. The only acting job I have turned down was for a webseries that I self-submitted on. At the audition, I put my agents’ contact information down instead of my own, and when the director called to book me, he was very furious that he had to go through my agents. When I finally talked to him, he said the only way he would still book me is if I didn’t tell my agents I was working on this and to give him my personal phone number and address.
Obviously a ton of red flags went up with that, so I turned down the job (I think my agents called him back and said that I suddenly had to join the union so I was unable to book non-union any more).
I’m trying not to think about who I might have met at the tweeup this week and what I missed out on. There is plenty of other events in the future that I know I’ll go to. And it did kind of feel good to say no to something when I really didn’t feel like going.
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