Tag Archives: writer

I Keep Hitting Little Moments Of Writer’s Block (or Not Sure What To Say)

Posted on June 18, 2020 | Comments Off on I Keep Hitting Little Moments Of Writer’s Block (or Not Sure What To Say)

3 months ago, I wasn’t sure what I’d be able to do with this blog. I questioned if I would be able to maintain my normal posting schedule if I was isolated and not doing much. I didn’t know if my life would be interesting. I didn’t know if I would feel motivated to keep writing. And it has been a journey with trying to keep this up.

I think I have found the motivation to keep writing because it’s one of the only things in my life that hasn’t changed because of the pandemic. I am not writing at the same time I did before the pandemic, but there isn’t much that has changed about blogging besides maybe having more options for when I write. I still am doing my workout posts, even if they aren’t really recaps about my workouts and more about how I’m adjusting to working out at home. I don’t have much to write about that is outside my house since I’m not going outside. My posts are much more about mental health or things about me and not about fun things I am experiencing. I do prefer the types of posts I can write when I am able to go out and do things, but this isn’t the worst trade-off.

But the issue that does still hit me from time to time is what to write about. Sometimes things do come up so I have an idea about what to write. And sometimes, like right now, I have no clue what to write about. Nothing has really happened this week for me. I have had a few days where I wasn’t doing as great as I have been, but I got out of that funk. I’m not doing much with my days and I don’t know what I can do to change that. I am trying to find a purpose and be productive, but my options are really limited.

I don’t feel like there is much change from day to day. I have some days that I do a workout in the morning and some days that I work in the morning. Beyond that, there is much variety in my life. And without variety, there isn’t much to write about.

I do still want to write every day, even if I don’t know what to write about. I’ve hit these moments of writer’s block more than once during the past 3 months and I have always gotten over it. And I will get over this one too. I will have something to write about soon. I have a few things planned out over the next few weeks to write about, but I can’t write them yet as they are things that haven’t happened. But it is good to know that there are days coming up that I don’t have to worry about what to write about.

Sorry for not having an interesting post today. I really don’t know what to share. If there are things that you would like me to write about or if you want me to share what I have been reading and watching, let me know. I don’t know if anyone is interested in reading that, so if you let me know that you are then I will write those posts.

I’ll get over this writer’s block. I know it. But right now, it’s hitting me hard and all I really can think about writing about is how much I’m experiencing it. Hopefully, tomorrow I’ll have something better to share.

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Figuring Out A Plan For My Book (or I’m Not Sure What’s Next)

Posted on January 23, 2020 | Comments Off on Figuring Out A Plan For My Book (or I’m Not Sure What’s Next)

It’s been a little while since I finished the first draft of my book. I knew once I finished it that I was going to take some time away from it before I did anything else. Some of the stories about my dating were a little too fresh for me to be able to review what I wrote. And everything was still new in my mind and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to edit it too much. I did minor editing as I wrote each section, but I needed time away before I could look at it with fresh eyes to see what changes needed to be made.

And even though I wrote so much back in November, I have added stories since then. There have been a few dating situations where I knew I needed a section of my book about it. For example, I had a date last month where the guy thought the best way to fix his need to use a bathroom would be to unzip and pee on the sidewalk as we were walking. That one was so shocking that I didn’t know what to think. I just kept walking because I knew that was the end of that date. I didn’t even tell him I was done. I just kept going until I was sitting in my car. There was no way that the story wasn’t going to be in the book. It wasn’t the craziest date ever, but it’s up there. And it was the first date that I think I was truly speechless.

The main reason why I changed the format of my book to be all about life lessons was that I didn’t need to have a real ending for it. If it was a story of my dating history, I wouldn’t know how to end it until I found someone. But with it being about different lessons, I don’t have to necessarily have a happily ever after to feel like I can finish the book. Of course, I would love it if it did end that way. But I know that I can end it without that.

The next steps for the book are to edit it and then edit it a few more times. I’m pretty certain that I don’t have typos or crazy grammatical errors, but I know the stories aren’t perfect and they are probably a bit rambly (just like my blog posts are). I also probably have some stories that don’t make sense to someone other than me because I can fill in the gaps. So I want to not only edit it myself but have others read it to make sure they feel like it makes sense. Fortunately, I have several friends who have asked if they could read the book so I know I can get a lot of different opinions on if the book works.

But after editing it, I honestly have no clue what to do. I would love to get the book published because I think it is funny and entertaining and maybe a little educational as well. I really think I would have loved to have read a book with stories like mine when I got back into online dating. Plus, some of the lessons are things that I know my friends wouldn’t have thought of if they were in that situation. For example, the ways I am able to do a bit of searching to confirm my dates are telling me the truth about themselves are things that most of my friends have told me they wouldn’t have thought of doing. I would love to save someone from having to learn these lessons on their own and be able to date smarter after seeing my mistakes or issues.

I’ve also had friends who have told me I should turn my stories into a web series or something filmed, but I have never seen my book as a screenplay. I also don’t know how to write scripts so I think that is stopping me from thinking it could be a script. But I would prefer to focus on keeping it as a book and if something else happens from that, then I can figure it out from there. But the plan is to focus on keeping the book a book and seeing what can be done.

But this is where I am stuck. I don’t know how to try to get a book published or if I should look into self-publishing. I don’t know what the steps are to sell a book if I was able to do that. The entire publishing world is foreign to me and I am trying to not be overwhelmed by it. I did a little bit of research on what to do, but that was going a million steps ahead of where I am right now and it just became too much. So my only thoughts and plans are to work on the editing and then when that is done I will do the next thing. And I would love to know what that next thing would be without having to do the research, but I also know that I probably won’t have someone who comes to me telling me step by step what I need to do.

I’m going to try to start a bit of the editing process in the next month or two and then I guess I will just be figuring it out from there. And hopefully, when I get to the next step, I will have more updates I can share or I will have a better idea of what might come next.

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I Actually Wrote A Book! (or Getting Myself Ready For 2020)

Posted on December 3, 2019 | Comments Off on I Actually Wrote A Book! (or Getting Myself Ready For 2020)

Last month, I did a repeat monthly challenge. I’ve attempted to write my book about online dating for several years now and I’ve never been able to complete that challenge. I knew going into it this past month that even if I complete the challenge it doesn’t necessarily mean that I finish a book. But I wanted to see what I could get done and I was hoping it would be better than my past attempts.

I had changed what my book was going to be about when I thought about it earlier this year. Instead of just telling stories about dates I went on and guys I met, I wanted to organize it into lessons I’ve learned through dating. This allowed me to work on the book without figuring out where things were going or needing to have an ending to it. This book has the potential to be a work in progress with new chapters for a while, so I didn’t want to have to feel like I needed a way to wrap things up. And by making it more about life lessons got me into that mindset.

I was following the NaNoWriMo plan again this year as I had in the past. I knew that I might have some days where I wrote more words than I needed to and other days would be fewer words. My goal was to work on one lesson (or one chapter) a day. And while I had done a lot of research and planning, I knew I would need to plan more lessons during the month because I wasn’t going to have enough. It wasn’t always easy, but I figured out how to split things up differently and new lessons to add so I had enough to work on one a day. And on Saturday, the last day of the month, I made it to the NaNoWriMo goal of 50,000 words!

Writing this book ended up being very therapeutic for me. I had to work through some things that I didn’t realize I wasn’t completely over. I had to revisit some moments that are not positive or that I am ashamed or embarrassed about. I had to be brutally honest with myself as I wrote things because I’m not always the hero of the story. Every day that I worked on the book, new emotions came up but at the same time, I found new peace with some things as well. I didn’t realize how much I needed to write this book for me.

Since I know this is still a work in progress, I don’t want to say that I finished a book. There are still things that may change about it, but I have a full draft of the book as of right now. And I want to start working on the editing process on the chapters I have completed so far. I have several friends who have offered to read it, but I don’t know if I’m ready for that just yet. I can do some editing on my own first and that’s what I plan on doing. Hopefully, soon I will feel ready to share it with some friends for some feedback and editing. And then after that, I can do some more research on what it would take to get my book published in the future.

For this month, I wanted to do another reflective monthly challenge. Not only is this the last month of the year, but it’s also the last month of the decade. That seems monumental and made me think about how I started this decade. I was in the middle of a lot of change and it was a very chaotic time for me. This decade hasn’t always been the best, but I think that I’m in the best place I’ve ever been in with my life so far. And I want to continue doing that into the next decade (and beyond).

So my plan for this month is to spend the time preparing to kick off the new year and new decade as my best self. I want to work on being in the best place I can mentally and working toward the best place physically. And some of the mental work includes working on my physical space, which is something I have been working on lately. I’ve been cleaning up my house and getting it more organized. I’ve been working on finding new ways to store things so my space doesn’t feel as cluttered. It’s been a process, but I’m feeling much better about how my house looks now.

I need to do some serious organizing work with my kitchen and it feels right to do that before the new year. I want to find ways to use my kitchen more and more efficiently. I also have a plan to do some food reaction testing soon and I need to have my kitchen in a good place to do that the best I can. I’m also looking at other things around my house that I want to change because I have lived here for almost 10 years now and some things are things I got when I moved here. I think updating my space after 10 years seems right.

I’m so excited that I’ve finished my first draft of my book (so far) and that I’m in such a good headspace for the new year. Now, I just want to make sure I’m continuing to work on those things so I can kick of 2020 with a bang!

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Not Sure How I Did With My Last Monthly Challenge (or Another Attempt At NaNoWriMo)

Posted on November 1, 2019 | Comments Off on Not Sure How I Did With My Last Monthly Challenge (or Another Attempt At NaNoWriMo)

When I set my monthly challenge for October to be working more on my acting career, I was so excited about the things I had in mind. I had some things in mind that were bigger plans that I knew would be things I would need to save up for, but there were several things I knew I could work on. And honestly, I don’t really know how much I succeeded or failed at my challenge.

I knew that I would have the convention and that would be a big acting related event. And it did help my career in many ways, but my plan was to try to do more than just that. I wanted to do some research into classes, work on organizing things to be ready when I have auditions, and schedule and hopefully take new headshots. And I did a little bit of research work (part of that includes my tv research), but I didn’t do a majority of what I wanted to.

I don’t want to make excuses for myself, but I know why this didn’t happen. First, I was dealing with money issues and that made me hesitant to plan for anything that would require money. I also didn’t expect to be as tired after the convention as I was and that took a lot out of me. Part of being tired (and another reason why I didn’t do much for my career) had to do with my grandma passing away. I’m grieving this loss very differently than I expected and I think part of that has been that it hasn’t fully hit me yet. When my grandpa passed away, I was with my family a few days later. When I have had friends pass away, it felt more real because of how I had been staying in touch with them. This time, I don’t know if it will fully hit me until Thanksgiving. But for the past few weeks, I’ve been just having this weird feeling that is almost like I have a bit of grief and sadness affecting other things. I’m ok and nobody needs to worry about me about being depressed or anything. This is just how I am processing it and it wasn’t what I thought it would be.

Obviously, working on my acting career is a challenge that isn’t going to stop just because it’s a new month. I need to work on this and keep working on this. I still want to accomplish the things I had in mind for last month, so I will keep making plans and trying to get them done. I do still have the same financial restrictions for now, but planning can be done without spending money. And for the things that will require money, I can take steps towards those too.

And for my monthly challenge this month, I’ll be repeating one I’ve done in November before. I’ll be working on writing a book. I’ve stopped working on the book about online dating that I was working on in the past because I didn’t like how it was coming together. And a few months ago, I had the idea to change the book to be more about life lessons I’ve been learning from online dating. I’ve been working on notes and organizing ideas for what these lessons are so that I could be ready to start working on the new book. And I’m planning on working on it this month.

I still do not think I will have a finished first draft for the book after the month is done because I don’t know if the book is done yet. I know that I will have more stories from online dating that haven’t happened yet, so I will want to add those as they do happen. But I want to get each section that I’ve got notes on right now written during the month. I don’t know if I want to work on one lesson/chapter each day that I write or just try to work a bit every day. I’m allowing myself to be flexible and see how it works best for me.

I feel much better about working on the book this time because I do have notes that help me see the flow of how the book can go. I have shifted lessons around so that it makes more narrative sense to me. And I’m excited to be able to write down some of the crazier stories that weren’t going to be in other versions of the book because they weren’t substantial enough. But now, I can’t put a bunch of stories together in one lesson if they work that way. I can’t wait to see what happens as I write and what I might be inspired to edit and change as I work on it.

I do also have an idea for a fiction book about dating that I have notes on, but I don’t have the same pull to work on it as I do with my life lessons book. I also think reflecting on the lessons I’ve learned will be a good thing for me and will remind me that even though dating hasn’t been going the way I wanted it to that I am getting some good things out of it.

Hopefully, when I do my update after the month is done I will have some great things to share about how the writing went. I have high expectations for myself since this is not the first time I have tried working on this. I know how I didn’t succeed before and want to make sure I don’t repeat those mistakes. And even though this book will still be a work in progress after the month is over, I want to feel like I’ve gotten a lot of work on it done and that it’s more of a book than a bunch of ideas.

Good luck to anyone else doing NaNoWriMo this month! I hope you get everything out of it that you are hoping for!

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Another Blog Anniversary (or When Will This Stop Surprising Me)

Posted on July 16, 2019 | Comments Off on Another Blog Anniversary (or When Will This Stop Surprising Me)

It’s the anniversary of Finding My Inner Bombshell! 7 years ago I posted my first post on here and I haven’t stopped since. I know I sound like a broken record because I say this every year, but I still can’t believe that I have been able to keep this up. I have blogged 5 days a week since I started. I have written over 1800 posts which is insane to me. I don’t know if this will ever seem easy or normal to me, but maybe it’s good that it doesn’t. Having this feel special and hard makes me work to make it better and I don’t go easy on myself with writing posts. There are plenty of times I have nothing to write about, but I have learned to be honest when that happens and I think that is much better than making up something to write about.

The benefits I have gotten from writing on here are more than I can count. I have become a much better person because of this blog. I have become more honest with myself and with others, which I think has made my relationships with my friends and family stronger. I feel like I am more of myself than ever before and that allows me to bring people into my life that add to it and end friendships with those that take away. I didn’t have the confidence to do that before and I know I kept toxic people in my life much longer than I should have because I was scared of losing people in my life. But as I have written about myself on here, I have become so much clearer in what I want out of life and the type of people I want in it.

And some of the amazing people that I have added to my life have been because of this blog. There are things I have written about that made an acquaintance of mine become a friend because we connected on something that we both kept hidden before. And I’ve been introduced to others because a mutual friend saw a post about something and knew someone else who would love to read the post and talk to me more about it. I’ve pushed myself to meet new people more and go to more events because I wanted to be able to have things to write about. And going to those events has led me to some of the most incredible people that I have ever met.

And yes, I have gotten to have some great opportunities because of this blog that I wouldn’t have had without it. My introduction to Orangetheory was because I was in a blogger group that was hosting the preview class I went to. Maybe I would have discovered Orangetheory on my own, but I don’t know because I never went to Brentwood much before. I probably would have found it when they opened the Culver City studio last year, but that was several years after I started. But I am forever grateful for that first class I went to over 5 years ago and the progress I’ve been able to make in my physical and mental health. And I’ve been invited to other random and fun events that I know is a privilege and I am so grateful for each and every one that I get an invitation to. I do want to start getting invited to a few higher-level events because I would love to be able to review and share them with you all. But even if I never get to that level, I still am so lucky with what I do get to do.

7 years ago, as much as I wanted to believe that I could keep this up I was also having doubts how long I could blog. I was scared to be open and honest and I didn’t know how long I could keep going without oversharing. Now, I think oversharing is the least of my worries (and I probably do overshare, I just don’t care about it). Even in my wildest dreams, I never thought I’d be doing this still 7 years later. But now, I can’t imagine my life without this blog and having this outlet. So I guess here’s to the next 7 years and seeing what it brings for me!

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Yet Another Book Rewrite (or Letting My Blog Posts Inspire Me)

Posted on June 11, 2019 | Comments Off on Yet Another Book Rewrite (or Letting My Blog Posts Inspire Me)

I’ve written several times about the book I’ve been working on about online dating. I’ve also written about how I’ve worked on different versions because I wasn’t sure if what I had previously done was right.  I started with the book in 3 sections: guys I’ve gone out with that were decent people, guys that were horrible people whether or not I met them in real life, and the cheaters I caught. Then I decided I wanted to change that up and write the book chronologically because some of the stories only made sense when it was put into the proper timeline. I’ve been going back and forth on those two versions for a while and I never was 100% sure it was right.

I was so conflicted on which version I wanted that I had to stop working on it for a bit. Then I was inspired to work on a novel inspired by online dating (but it would be a work of fiction). I haven’t done much with the novel except doing a brief outline of what the plot points would be along with a few style ideas which are needed because of the idea I have with that book. I’m not feeling a huge push to work on it and I think I’ll probably use it for NaNoWriMo this year. I think working on a piece of fiction would be easier than something that is about my real life because I don’t have to wait to figure out what will happen next. I can make it up and I don’t have to depend on having more dates.

And I think waiting is one of the reasons I’ve been struggling with my original online dating book. I have said since I started it that I didn’t know how it would end. I would love it to end with the story of the guy I end up with, but I have no idea when that will happen and I don’t love the idea that the story needs to end like that. Not everything has to end with a happy ending and I want it to accurately represent where I am in life. Maybe when I finally finish it I will be with my forever person, but if I’m not I don’t want to feel like things are incomplete.

I stopped working on that book a little while ago although I have been adding notes about stories I wanted to include. But I haven’t felt the motivation to work because of the fear that until I know the ending that I can’t work on it. But I have inspired a little bit ago about yet another version of what this book could be and it finally doesn’t seem to require a real ending. And the inspiration kind of came from the blog posts I write about online dating.

Sometimes I do write general online dating posts on here and funny stories. But I also write about lessons that I’ve learned from the various dates and experiences I’ve had. And while I feel like the crazy stories are fun and entertaining, the lessons I’ve learned are probably so much more important. I’ve discovered so much about myself through these dating experiences. I’ve learned what I want, what I’m willing to tolerate, what I deserve, and what I believe. I know that dating isn’t always like this for people, but for me it really has been a journey in self-discovery. Even in the moments of pain and when someone breaks my heart, I am able to learn something from that experience and I want to believe that I am a better person because of those lessons.

Not every guy I was writing about in previous versions of my book are life lessons, but many of them are. Some of the guys can be grouped into one lesson and some guys have multiple lessons. But I feel like there is a great way to organize these lessons where it doesn’t require a specific pattern or even a conclusion. They can just be a collection of stories and what I learned about myself and it doesn’t need me to have a story that is about how I fell in love, got married, and had my happily ever after. It would be great to have that story, but that’s not what I feel this book needs to be about. It’s not about how I met my perfect guy, it’s about my experience dating. And having it about the lessons allows me to focus on that instead of the overall journey.

I’ve only started working on this new version, so I don’t have much done. But just getting the lessons down and connecting which guys represent which story has given me a lot of clarity about what this book could be. And I have shared the idea with a few friends and I think they agree that this is a better idea if I want to possibly publish the book. The funny and crazy stories might only connect with people who know me in real life. But life lessons should be able to connect with those outside my social circle and might be something that others would be interested in reading.

I know I have written before how I feel like I finally found what this book should be and I keep changing it. But I do feel like this is a bit different. I almost have a sense of relief and peace with the idea and feel less pressure that I don’t have to rely on what dates may happen in the future to figure out if the book is done. And even if I change things up again and decide that this is not the right version, I think this will actually benefit me quite a bit. There are still some situations I’ve been in where I haven’t figured out the lesson just yet. This will force me to look at what happened and try to see what I can learn. And those new lessons will just keep helping me become the best version of myself.

Hopefully one day this book is done and I can share it with the world. I know my dating experience isn’t necessarily the most unique, but there are people who haven’t gone through what I have gone through and I’d love to be able to share what I have learned and what I know with them.

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Recapping A Few Challenges From Last Month (or Getting Ready Stop Going Easy On Myself)

Posted on December 4, 2018 | Comments Off on Recapping A Few Challenges From Last Month (or Getting Ready Stop Going Easy On Myself)

I usually would just be doing my monthly challenge recap in this post and then announce my next monthly challenge, but I’m going to do things a bit differently this time. I’m going to recap 2 challenges I had last month and that will lead into what my challenge will be for this month.

First, last month I challenged myself to work on getting back to feeling like myself. I knew that I was feeling a bit lost and not like myself and I wanted to find what I needed to do in order to feel that way again. It was another challenge that wasn’t easy to track so I looked at it as a goal for the month versus a challenge.

I’m almost embarrassed to admit that in the middle of the month I actually forgot what my challenge was. It wasn’t something I had to think about every day or had a reminder to do, so it was easy to forget about it. I tried to put a positive spin on it and say that I must be back to myself if I wasn’t focused on doing that anymore. And I do feel like I’m back to being me and I’m very happy about that. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that I really didn’t have to do much for this challenge and it really was kind of a wash.

I also had a challenge last month to participate in NaNoWriMo again and to get up to date on all my online dating stories. I hadn’t done a lot of work on the book since last year and I had a lot of stories to add. I started off on a great note with getting chapter names for all the new stories, writing a few of the stories down that I hadn’t done yet, and updating the few stories that have had changes or new updates. I knew that I wasn’t going to hit the word count goal for NaNoWriMo since my stories aren’t necessarily that long, but I wanted to work on the book until I was current on it.

But after that initial motivation and got a few things done, I did nothing else with it last month. I am glad that I wrote down the stories that I want to write because there were a few that I had forgotten about. I plan on writing more stories than I probably would actually have in a book so I have options. It’s better to have to edit a book and stories down than to need to find more to add because it’s too short. There’s no real good excuse for why I didn’t work on my book more other than I was lazy and just didn’t do it. I had the time between my customers at work on work on them and it wouldn’t have taken that much time. I just didn’t do it and I am a bit upset with myself that I just let that go and didn’t work on it like I planned to do.

From both the book and my monthly challenges being kind of a fail and I went easy on myself for not really doing much, I knew I needed to make a change. My monthly challenges used to be real challenges that pushed me and made me work toward a change in my life. I haven’t kept all of the monthly challenges as a part of my life, but many of them are still daily habits that I enjoy and know benefit me.

So technically my challenge for this month is another one that will be easy to slack on, but it will be better for me in the long run. My challenge this month is to plan my monthly challenges for 2019. I would love to have a list of at least 16 challenges so I have some options to use next year. I want to pick things that can be tracked and measured so I am held accountable to them. And I want to pick things that will truly challenge me and hopefully make me a better version of myself. I’m hoping I can find a good mix of physical challenges (like stretching and yoga), educational challenges (like how I’m working on learning French), and mental challenges (like my meditation challenge that I’m over 900 days into). I know having a mix will be the best thing for me and will help me not feel too overwhelmed.

I know that this month is another challenge I can slack on and not make an effort every day toward, but it’s the first step in making sure that I break this bad habit and have some amazing challenges in the new year!

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NaNoWriMo Take 2 (or Still Working On The Same Book)

Posted on November 2, 2018 | Comments Off on NaNoWriMo Take 2 (or Still Working On The Same Book)

It’s November and just like last year I’m going to participate in National Novel Writing Month! Last year was the first year I did it and I used the month to work on my book on online dating. It was a great way for me to work on a project that seemed so overwhelming and scary. There is a goal to write a certain number of words over the course of the month, but I knew that I didn’t want to hold myself to that because this book is an ever-changing thing.

I got a lot done last year during NaNoWriMo and continued to work on my book every so often since then. I do try to add stories or at least notes after I have a date that I know needs to be in the book. I haven’t been working on it as seriously as I probably should have, but I also don’t feel a rush to finish it. I still wonder what the end or lesson of the book should be. I know it doesn’t need to end in something significant, but until I feel like I know what I want the reading to think at the end of the book I don’t know if it will ever be done.

Even though I haven’t been working on it that much, I know that I probably should have done more since many of my dates over the past 6 months haven’t really been written about beyond the notes I made. And for what feels like the millionth time, I have changed what I want the book to be like. I have gone back to my original plan to have each story a standalone story and to split the book up into good dates, bad dates (or just horrible guys online), and the cheaters I have encountered. I feel like it is a good way to organize things and makes the book more of a collection of stories versus something that needs a clear beginning, middle, and end.

I don’t know if NaNoWriMo is supposed to be for working on the same book year after year, but that’s what I’m using it for. When you sign up for the challenge each year, you are supposed to announce the book you are working on. I didn’t see an option to say that you are still working on the same book from the year before, so I named my book something that represents what’s happening for me.

I’m not planning on doing the different events that are happening during this month, so I’m not too concerned about if I am supposed to be working on the same book. And when I registered this year and it asked me to update my word count, I did put down how many words the book currently is at. So I look much more accomplished than I really am. But I am using this month as a tracking device for me. I love the idea of working with others to accomplish a goal, but I don’t think doing different challenges or trying to win swag for various reasons is right for me with what I’m trying to do. If I had a novel that I had an outline and grand idea for, maybe it would be different. But since this is the story of something that is currently happening to me, it’s not really fitting into getting it all done this month.

But even though my goals aren’t to challenge other people or to hit certain word counts, I do still have goals for this month. I do want to finish the stories of the guys I have gone out with that I know I will not be seeing again. Most of those are guys I went out with once or twice and I have no plans to communicate with them again. But there are still some stories that have not ended because things are still happening or changing, so with those stories I can’t really finish them. But I can make sure that those stories are as up to date as possible. I know that as things continue to change that I might have to edit my story, but I’d rather edit a story than have to write it all just because things aren’t over. And those changing stories are really just a small percentage. There are maybe 4 or 5 that I don’t think are totally over (not all of them are guys I’m still seeing, but their stories haven’t ended), and I have dozens of stories that are over. So those few can’t be an excuse for me to not work on the others.

I think the first time I did NaNoWriMo, I had much higher hopes for what I would be able to accomplish based on what other friends have done. But I’ve learned that my story isn’t the same as everyone else’s and I can’t stress to hit the targets that others are doing. I just need to be as consistent as possible and know that I am making progress. And maybe during this month I will find something out that makes me realize I have a way to end my story, but that’s not what I’m expecting to happen. But it would be nice to feel like this story is done and I can finish it.

But as long as I go out with guys that end up being super ridiculous stories, I’m going to write about them. Even if I never do anything with this book, I want to have these stories written down and saved. I might use them for a laugh in the future or inspiration for a script or another project. But I still think that one day turning this journey into a book would be a really fun thing to do and I’m keeping an open mind about it all!

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Continuing To Work On My Book (or I Wonder How Many Versions I’ll Have Before I Finish It)

Posted on August 23, 2018 | 2 comments

I’ve shared on here before about how I am going to write a book about online dating. My stories have been so ridiculous and my friends have loved hearing about them. After posting so many of them online, people were encouraging me to put them in a book and I started to think about that idea. And I decided to go for it last year.

Since I had that idea, I’ve worked on it on and off for a while. The original idea of the book would be that it would be a collection of stories. Each guy would have their own standalone chapter or story and it would just be all the stories in one place. I was going to split it up by the guys that I met, the guys I matched with and unmatched with them for various reasons, and the cheaters that I caught online. Having them as standalone stories made them pretty easy to write and I got most of the stories done when I was working on it last November.

But when I finished that, I realized how short the book was. I knew it could get longer because I was still doing online dating and having stories to share, but it still concerned me if I wanted to do anything with the book. But I didn’t focus too much on it at the time. Then after I went through an upsetting situation with a guy, I reconnected with a few guys who I had met in the past. After that situation, I realized that having each guy as their own story didn’t make as much sense because reconnecting with the guys that I had met previously was very connected to the situation that happened to me.

So then I started working on a version of the story that was more of a chronological story of dating. I had the idea to break my story in the seasons of the year because that seemed to be some nice and natural break points in the story. I didn’t get that far into writing that version when I realized that this idea wasn’t making as much sense to me as it did before. So many of the crazy stories that I had weren’t necessary in telling the story and they were better as standalone stories. Also, I really don’t remember when certain weird situations happened because I never met those guys (so I never put dates with them in my calendar).

There was a bit of time where I wondered if I should bother continuing writing the book, but I quickly squashed that negative thought. Even if I don’t do anything with the book, it has been helpful for me. It gives me a place to write down thoughts and decompress after bad dates or after things end with a guy that I liked. I know that some of the things I am writing will have to be edited out if I ever publish it, but it’s a nice place to get things out when I need to do that. Also, it makes me have a better mindset about the really bad dates I’ve had. The past few bad dates have been not as horrible as they could have been because I was sitting there thinking how great of a story for the book this date would be. It’s been a great way to get through things that could be miserable otherwise.

So I started to rethink the book again and now I’m on the third version of the book. As much as I’d like to say this is the last version, who knows what will happen. As of right now, my book is split into 2 sections. The first section is a chronological story of the more significant guys that I’ve gone out with. These are guys I’ve dated for a while, guys who have helped me learn something about myself, or guys that ghosted me or broke my heart. They all deserve to have their stories told together because they work together and you can see how one thing leads into the other.

The second part of the book (which I’m guessing will end up being a longer part than the first) will be standalone stories of the crazies I’ve met. Some of these guys are guys that I messaged with and never met because they revealed their true colors before we made plans and other guys are ones that I went on my worst dates with. There are a few guys in there that aren’t horrible people but are better as a standalone story, but in general this section of the book isn’t flattering for any of the guys I met. These are the stories that you hear as warning stories on why online dating can be bad.

I’ve been slowly working on the book this time around. Even though this is the third version of it, I’ve never finished any of the versions. The advantage I have now is that most of the standalone stories have already been written although I am going to go back and edit and rewrite them. Plus I’ve already had a few new stories to add to that section that I need to work on. But I don’t really have a timeline for finishing it. In a way, I don’t know if it can be finished until I’m in a relationship because then I will always feel like there will be more stories to add.

There’s no rush since I really have no plans for this book. If I end up trying to sell it, awesome. If it just becomes a document on my computer, that’s fine too. But I do like having it as a goal to work on as well as something that has been a useful tool in surviving the online dating world.

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Another Educational Union Event (or Merging My Acting And Blogging)

Posted on February 2, 2018 | Comments Off on Another Educational Union Event (or Merging My Acting And Blogging)

As I continue to work on my union education, I seem to find more and more events that I really want to attend. Some of them are events that they have from time to time at the union that I’ve never attended before and some are new events that I’m so excited to be a part of. And this week, I was invited to attend an event that was brand new and perfectly suited for me!

SAG-AFTRA and Tubefilter came together to co-host an evening to discuss influencer marketing and the FTC guidelines we need to follow. While I don’t do a ton of sponsored posts on here or on social media, I do have them from time to time (I try to limit them to only things that I really believe in). And I know that there are some rules I need to follow in order to follow what the FTC requires and I wanted to make sure that I was doing everything properly. And since many sponsored posts can be under union jurisdiction, I loved that the union was involved in this conversation to answer questions.

I’ve learned a bit about some of the rules I need to be aware of because of other union events I’ve attended. Until recently, I had no idea that things I did on my blog could be under my union’s jurisdiction. I think this is something that most actor/bloggers aren’t aware of yet and I know that SAG-AFTRA is starting to get the word out now that guidelines are starting to be a bit more clear.

At this event, there was a panel that had a lot of amazing panelists. They included a YouTube creator, an employee of the FTC, and a union representative. While there was a lot of back and forth because some rules are still a bit unclear, I think the tone of the entire event was that we all want to work together to figure out how to create policies that protect us as creators and still follow FTC guidelines.

The meeting really reminded me of the Union Working events with how people may be coming from different sides of an issue but we understand that by working together and being strong as a group it will benefit us the most. And while not everyone has the answers to everything, people are bringing up questions that are helping those higher up to understand the issues we are facing and the concerns that we want answered. Sometimes, the answers to questions was to say that they didn’t know, but I highly respect people who aren’t afraid to say that they don’t know (instead of making up an answer).

The panel was about 2 hours long (and they probably could have gone for another 2 hours and I still would have been fascinated) and then there was a bit of a social mixer after. I was sitting at a table with some of my friends so I had a chance to be social before the panel. And after the panel, we came together to discuss what we had learned and what issues we are concerned about. We had a chance to speak with the National Executive Director of SAG-AFTRA and I got to express some of my personal concerns or confusion over the rules. Influencer marketing is still a pretty new system so I think there is a lot of confusion by a lot of people. And since I don’t do it that often I think I had extra questions. But I did leave the meeting feeling much better about the situation and knowing who to contact if I needed to get something specific answered.

I don’t know how big the overlap is with actors and bloggers (or other types of influencer marketers), but I’m very excited to be someone who fits into both categories. I’ve already talked to the union about how they can reach the blogger community to help those who are not in the entertainment industry understand what is happening and what the union is doing for them. I think it’s going to be a very exciting time to see those two worlds come together and I love that I get to help connect them and bring them together.

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