Tag Archives: Valentine’s Day

Celebrating The Love In My Life Today (or There Is More Than Just Romantic Love)

Posted on February 14, 2023 | Comments Off

I haven’t always enjoyed Valentine’s Day. It can be tough when you are in school and never have a boyfriend or someone who likes you. Even as an adult, there can be so much out there implying that if you are single there is something wrong with you. I’ve never had a significant other on Valentine’s Day, and this year is no different. I’ve had random dates that happen to be on February 14th, but they aren’t necessarily Valentine’s dates. And I guess there is still a chance for that to happen this year, but I’m okay not doing anything special tonight.

But just because I don’t have a boyfriend or someone I’m seriously dating this year doesn’t mean that my life is lacking love. I have spent several years realizing that love and relationships go beyond just the romantic ones. I really hate when a guy asks me on a date about my longest relationship, but I’m always tempted to ask if it has to be a romantic one. I’ve maintained platonic friendship relationships for decades before. I think that should count for something. And in the same way, the love I have from friends and family counts as me being loved.

Yes, I know it’s not exactly the same, but when I’m having low moments and wondering if I’m unloveable, I have to remember that there have been people who have loved me for a long time and that proves that I’m worthy of being loved. I am so lucky to have amazing people in my life who are so willing to help me out when I need it and that is showing love. When I was sick and needed cold medicine but didn’t feel safe to drive, my friend didn’t hesitate to help me out and she even went to 4 stores to find me what I needed. When I needed someone to drive me to a medical thing, I’ve always found a friend who would take me and even wait if the procedure took a bit of time. Even with things that I wasn’t going to ask my friends to help me with, like moving, I had so many people offer to help if I didn’t want to hire a moving truck.

When bad things have happened, I can call so many different people and have a sympathetic ear. I might not reach out as much as I should, but I also know that if I did reach out that there are people who love me and would do whatever they could for me. And I would do the exact same thing for them. I’ve always told friends that they could call me any time day or night if they need me, and I know I have the same ability to call them. Some of these friends don’t live close to me, so I can’t necessarily rely on them if I need help in person, but I still know they are there for me.

I do still want romantic love in my life and that is still something I’m actively looking for, but I don’t believe that my life is lacking love. I might not have every type of love right now, but I’m not missing love in general. And I’m choosing to celebrate all the love that I do have in my life today because it is important to recognize any love you are lucky enough to have. And I hope that if next Valentine’s Day I am in a relationship, I still remember to celebrate other types of love. All love is always important to have and celebrate, not just on Valentine’s Day. But this is a good remember to take some time and reflect on that because I know I don’t appreciate all the love I have as much as I should.

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Posted in Celebrations, Dating, Fun Stuff

Tagged dating, friends, love, Valentine's Day

My Usual Non-Plans For Valentine’s Day (or It Seems Like A Lot Of People Felt This Way)

Posted on February 17, 2022 | Comments Off

I don’t normally do anything for Valentine’s Day. I can only think of one Valentine’s Day where I had a date, and that was not something that was planned. It was someone I had gone out with a few times, we planned our next date, and the day of we realized it was Valentine’s Day. So in my mind, that’s not really a Valentine’s Day date.

While I don’t want to be single forever, I also don’t really mind not doing anything for Valentine’s Day. There is a lot of pressure to find the right thing to do and it’s nice to not have to think about it. And this year, I didn’t do anything special for Valentine’s Day just like I pretty much always have.

And it seems like so many people felt the same way. I don’t know if it was because Valentine’s Day was on a Monday or it was the day after the Super Bowl, but it felt like most people didn’t do anything crazy or extravagant this year. Even with one of my day jobs, Valentine’s Day is one of the busiest days for us. The shows we do are typically Saturdays only, but a lot of the locations will do a show on Valentine’s Day no matter what day it falls on. And for most years, that show has sold out weeks or a month in advance. But this year, while a lot of locations sold out, we had a few that had a few tickets left the week of. The shows were almost all sold out by the weekend before, but it took longer to sell out than it has from what I remember from every other year.

I did have a few things that made Monday not just a normal Monday. One of my jobs sent all the employees in my department a gift, so I got a box of nice cookies which I appreciated. And I did a Zoom hang out with my friends since none of us had plans that night. The Zoom wasn’t necessarily Valentine-themed, but it was a good opportunity for us to schedule a time to have a hangout for our group.

And also, the podcast episode that I recently recorded was released on Valentine’s Day! This interview was an update on some of the dating stories I had shared before on the Secret Life podcast. It was fun to share these updates even if they weren’t necessarily happy or positive stories. But I don’t feel like I need to ever hide the negative stuff that happens in my dating life. I know that when I hear other people sharing crazy stories I feel less alone. So sharing my stories hopefully makes other people feel less alone.

I think not being surrounded by a ton of people talking about elaborate Valentine’s Day plans also made me feel less alone. I don’t feel like I missed out on anything even if I still feel lonely and wished I wasn’t single. This year, it seemed like everyone had the same feelings about the day as I did. It was something to remember was happening, but not necessarily something that you had to make a huge effort to do something special for. And I’m aware that I might have very different feelings about things if I was in a relationship, but at least this year it felt like nobody was really celebrating and I’m ok being a part of the majority.

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Posted in Celebrations, Dating, Fun Stuff

Tagged dating, Valentine's Day

Galentine’s Day and Valentine’s Day (or Not Feeling As Alone As I’ve Been)

Posted on February 18, 2021 | Comments Off

I’ve never been a big Valentine’s Day person. I’m assuming this is because I have almost never had a date on Valentine’s Day. The only date I can remember in my recent past on February 14th was a date with a guy that I had gone out with once or twice and we honestly didn’t realize it was on Valentine’s Day until we were trying to figure out what to do. I don’t think that really counts since it was a date that happened to be on Valentine’s Day, not a date for Valentine’s Day.

It was pretty safe for me to guess that I’d be single (and alone) for Valentine’s Day this year. I mean, as much as I’ve tried to date recently, it’s not easy to date during a pandemic. And I know I haven’t been putting as much effort into dating as I have in the past because of how tough it is. I’m still making an effort, but I know it’s not close to what I was doing when I was able to easily go out and meet the guys that I was matching with.

But I do still try to celebrate love in my life even if I don’t have romantic love right now. And I feel like I did a great job doing that this year and might have done better than I have in the past because I wasn’t thinking I might go out and do something with a guy for Valentine’s Day. I knew I’d be home so I was able to have plans in place to celebrate with friends.

Almost all of my plans happened to be on the 13th, also known as Galentine’s Day. It was just a coincidence that it happened that way, but it also was perfect that it was like that.

The first thing I had planned was my regular movie night using Netflix Party with my friends from a Facebook group. We are still watching a tv show on Wednesdays and 2 movies on Saturdays. And right now, we are working through all of the Marvel movies in timeline order. It’s been really fun to rewatch these movies and I’ve been finding myself enjoying them much more than I did in the past! Having these movie days has been such a bright spot in my life in this past year when things have been so tough. And to have one of our nights be on Galentine’s Day was nice because we all were spending the night together (but apart).

And once my movie night was done, I had a bonus friend hangout! My friend Dani (who is also taking a ton of safety and health precautions right now) was free and asked me if I wanted to hang out that evening. There was nothing we were trying to do, we just wanted to have some friend time. I’m so used to seeing her all the time between going to Disneyland and going to shows. And while we have seen each other once or twice in the past year, it’s nothing like we normally do. So we had a fun hangout night at my place!

Even though we are both taking so many precautions, we were still careful hanging out together. We tried to stay at least 6 feet apart from each other while we were inside my house. We had said we could have fun candies and snacks while hanging out, but we didn’t end up eating anything so there were no bags of treats we were both touching. If we wanted to show the other something on our phones, we held the phone to the other person instead of handing it to them. It was weird to feel distant while a friend was over, but I also know it was the only way we could really do that and not take too many risks.

And I really needed this hangout. I know I had only seen my parents a few days before, but I’ve been lacking so much social interaction that I’m craving it so much. I need to be around others and not feel like I’m alone in my house and everyone is so far away from me. I know that I can’t do things like this too often and every time I see someone in person I’m taking a big risk. And I thought about the risk and accepted it so I could do this. I’m still not going to take that many risks and I won’t be seeing other people, but I’m glad I go to do this.

Even with being single and so alone right now, it’s nice to know that I didn’t have to be so alone while many others were celebrating love. I got to celebrate it too but in my own way.

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Posted in Fun Stuff

Tagged friends, Valentine's Day

I Do Enjoy Valentine’s Day (or Celebrating All Love In My Life)

Posted on February 14, 2020 | Comments Off

I know that Valentine’s Day is a love or hate holiday. Some people love being able to acknowledge love in their life or showing how much they love another person. Some people hate it, and I seem to be more familiar with the reasons people hate it. I’ve heard how it’s a holiday that is made up and only to sell things. I know some people think it’s an excuse to have a bad and overpriced date. And others say that it leaves out single people and they aren’t able to celebrate since they aren’t in a relationship.

I’m not going to debate that going out on Valentine’s Day might be overpriced and I have no clue if it’s really a made-up holiday. But I will dispute the idea that it’s only a holiday for people in relationships. I believe that any love can be celebrated on Valentine’s Day. And I’ve written a post about how I celebrate love in my life before explaining this. Things haven’t changed much for me. If anything, I believe even stronger now that everyone should be celebrating all love in their life and not just romantic love.

I’m incredibly lucky that I have as much love in my life as I do. Of course, I do want romantic love and am still searching for it, but my life isn’t less than because I don’t have that just yet. I have amazing friends and family that I love and that I know love me. They support me in all my craziness and I know I could turn to anyone if I needed help. If something happened to me, I wouldn’t feel alone because I didn’t have a boyfriend or husband. When I thought I needed liver surgery, I had friends that said they could come over to help me do the things I couldn’t do for a few weeks. I know that having someone I was in a relationship might mean I automatically have someone who could do that for me, but I have friends who can fill in and I’m fine with that.

For several years, I have celebrated the idea of all the love in my life on Valentine’s Day. But this year I feel that even more. I think that’s due to a realization I had after having a talk with a guy that I was trying to get closure with. In that talk, I realized there is a difference between wanting to be with someone and needing to be with someone. That realization actually gave me the closure I was searching for with that guy. And it made me understand why he and I never could have worked even if he hadn’t done the things he did that hurt me.

But it’s gone far beyond just that closure. I have realized that while I do want a relationship, I do not need it. I am living an awesome life without having a significant other. I am not looking for my missing piece. I am looking for someone who can add amazing things to my life and not someone who needs to fill what is missing. And I think having that thought in my head has helped me remember that my life is full of love even if I don’t have a boyfriend or a husband. And it’s important to remember that love and to celebrate it.

I do try to celebrate the love in my life throughout the year and not just for Valentine’s Day. Life is short and I don’t want to miss the chance to tell someone that I love them or how much they mean to me. I thought about doing something for Valentine’s Day for the people I love, but I just didn’t get it together in time. I did send out holiday cards just about 2 months ago to the people I would have sent Valentine’s cards to, so I do know they know how much they mean to me. I would have loved to have sent out cards again, but it just didn’t happen. Hopefully, next year I can do that.

And as far as my Valentine’s Day plans go, I don’t really have anything planned yet. I have my normal Friday routine with my workout and work, but nothing is planned after that. I might see if a friend wants to meet up and do something. I might stay home and be lazy on my couch. I might end up having a random date (which has happened on Valentine’s Day before). I’m not worried about making plans and whatever I do tonight is going to be the right thing to do. The only thing I know I will do is that I will celebrate the love in my life no matter what because I am so lucky to have what I do have.

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Posted in Celebrations, Dating, Fun Stuff

Tagged celebration, dating, holidays, love, Valentine's Day

Celebrating My Friendship Love (or I Don’t Hate Valentine’s Day)

Posted on February 14, 2019 | Comments Off

I know that there are many single people who hate Valentine’s Day. I completely understand why people might feel that way. It’s a weird holiday that doesn’t mean a lot to people who are in relationships. But when you are single, you are bombarded with the idea that you should be coupled up and you are somehow missing out on something by being single.

I’ve never been in a relationship on Valentine’s Day. Last year, I actually ended up having a date that night, but it wasn’t until later we realized it was Valentine’s Day. We only planned something because we both happened to be free that evening. So it was more of a date on Valentine’s Day and not a Valentine’s Day date. But it didn’t mean more to me than a date on any other night.

And this year, as always, I’m single. I’m dealing with being betrayed by someone who I thought cared about me which isn’t that fun, but I’m getting so much support from my friends and that is what matters more to me than any guy that I have dated.

So this year on Valentine’s Day, I want to celebrate the love I have from my friends. I am so incredibly grateful and lucky to have the friends that I have in my life. They are amazing and so supportive and I don’t know what I would do without them. When I’m upset about anything, even if it’s something really stupid, I know I can call someone and they will be able to talk me down.

With this recent betrayal by a guy, I’ve had friends remind me that I am lovable and worthy of so much more than what I was getting. They also helped me realize that a lot of the hurt that I am feeling is not about what this guy did to me, but the fact that I will never get answers or the closure that I would like. I am the type of person who will research something until I understand it completely. I will never understand why this person decided to hurt me or what made them see me as not worthy of being treated how I deserve to be treated. And letting go of the idea of wanting the answers is tough and I’m working through that.

But my friends also support me in the silly problems I have. When I was stressed out about my procedure with my dermatologist, I was going down a bit of a spiral thinking I was about to ruin my face. A friend reminded me that there are so many plastic surgery options for me if the scar was horrible and if it did create a divot in my face that I could always get fillers done. That’s not something I could do for a while, but just having someone remind me that this does not have to be the end of the road if I’m not happy with the results was enough to calm me down and help me remember that I was making the right decision.

And of course, I try to be there as much for my friends (if not more) than they are there for me. But I still feel like I don’t do enough considering how much they help me out and how often they remind me of things that I need to be reminded about. I know that I have mental health issues that make me think I’m not worthy and I can go to a dark place. It’s never that horrible, but it’s not a good place to be. And my friends never hesitate to help me out when I have those moments. They are never annoyed that it happened again or that they have to tell me something they have told me multiple times before.

While I have had a great example of what a successful relationship looks like from my parents, I also feel like I have been given examples of that as well through my friends. I know that being with someone romantically is different from being platonic, but I have learned how I should be treated by how my friends treat me. I have learned how to have a supportive and balanced relationship through those friendships. And I am hopeful that when I do find the guy that I want to spend the rest of my life with, I will be able to remember the relationships with my friends and use those as guidelines for how that relationship should be.

I’m writing this early enough that there is still potential for me to have a date tonight (although I don’t know if I want to go out with stitches in my face), but that doesn’t matter. If I’m spending tonight alone at home watching tv, that’s fine. While Valentine’s Day doesn’t really matter to me as a holiday, I am using it as a good excuse to be grateful for the love I do have in my life and remembering how lucky I am.

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Posted in Celebrations, Dating, Fun Stuff

Tagged dating, friends, love, support, Valentine's Day

Meeting Tucker! (or Having An Awesome Valentine’s Day Without A Valentine)

Posted on February 17, 2014 | 1 comment

Friday morning, I flew home to my parents’ house. I was so excited to meet Tucker that I only had a minor panic attack on the plane (I think being able to listen to my podcasts during takeoff and landing helps too).

My dad got me at the airport and we went right home so I could finally meet Tucker (and see my mom too).

Even though my parents have been sending me photos almost every day, it was still a surprise to meet the puppy. He’s so much bigger than I thought he’d be! When we measured his height to his shoulder, he’s only about 2 inches shorter than Dante was when he was fully grown! And Tucker isn’t even 4 months old yet! I think we are going to have a very tall puppy.

I spent most of Friday getting to know Tucker and his fun little quirks. For example, he likes to sit really funny. He puts his butt on a stair (or a person if a stair isn’t close) and sits almost like he’s in a chair.

He’s also very much a puppy. He has moments of being wild and crazy and then he crashes pretty hard for a nap. And he is obsessed with food. My parents have to split his meals into a few servings so he doesn’t eat too fast (and each serving is gobbled up and not even chewed).

But he’s super sweet and you can tell that he wants to please people. He tries so hard to be good, but sometimes his puppyness gets the best of him and he does something not so great (like trying to bite your hands).

By the end of Friday, I think Tucker accepted me as a member of his family. When I tried to have my mom take a picture of him and me, all Tucker wanted to do was kiss my face.

And when Tucker was taking his nap before going to bed, he decided to use my shoe as his pillow.

It was really a great Valentine’s Day. I got to spend it with family and the puppy and got tons of love throughout the day!

1 Comment

Posted in Family, Fun Stuff, Travel

Tagged airplane, family, panic attack, puppy, Valentine's Day

Exciting Weekend Plans (or Finally Meeting The Puppy!)

Posted on February 14, 2014 | Comments Off

As you are reading this, I’m on my way to the Bay Area to see my parents and finally meet Tucker! I’m so excited! I’ve been seeing so many videos and pictures of Tucker that my parents send to me, but I’ve been waiting for what seems like forever (but in reality like 6 weeks) to meet him!

And Tucker is no longer a baby puppy. This week he graduated from puppy socialization school (although in the end he ended up being the only puppy to finish all the classes) and my dad texted me this picture yesterday morning.

It’s hard to tell, but Tucker lost his first puppy tooth (right in the middle on top)! He’s officially becoming a grown up puppy now!

I’m also excited to see my parents. It will be my first visit with my mom since she finished chemo (and by the time I get to the house tomorrow she will be 1/3 of the way done with radiation). And I’m planning a fun trip to the gym with my dad (more on that when we get it done).

I’ll also be seeing my brother and sister-in-law on Saturday. My sister-in-law and I have a lot of planning to get done for our trip, which is coming up in a month, so we’ll be working on that this weekend.

Going home will also be a nice break from being in LA and feeling a little lost without a job. But I will say that after my 2 job trial offers I got this week, my 3rd interview resulted in me getting hired! I’ll be working as an on-call personal assistant. There’s no guarantee with hours and the pay is independent contractor (so I have so save a lot of the money I earn to pay my taxes), but it’s something. And my birthday twin, Joanna, is hired by this company as well so I know that it’s a good and flexible day job.

As I’ve said before, I’m hoping that this round of unemployment ends quickly. While I’m getting by with unemployment money, it’s not enough to pay all the bills (or pay down my credit card). I don’t want to be surviving on that money for too long.

But for now, I’m not focusing on my lack of work but my excitement about meeting Tucker (and seeing everyone else in my family!)! And seeing my family will make my Valentine’s Day a day filled with people I love. I hope that you all get to have the same!

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Posted in Celebrations, Family, Fun Stuff, Travel

Tagged breast cancer, chemo, family, job, mom, puppy, unemployment, Valentine's Day

Tag Archives: Valentine’s Day

Celebrating The Love In My Life Today (or There Is More Than Just Romantic Love)

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My Usual Non-Plans For Valentine’s Day (or It Seems Like A Lot Of People Felt This Way)

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Galentine’s Day and Valentine’s Day (or Not Feeling As Alone As I’ve Been)

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I Do Enjoy Valentine’s Day (or Celebrating All Love In My Life)

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Celebrating My Friendship Love (or I Don’t Hate Valentine’s Day)

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Meeting Tucker! (or Having An Awesome Valentine’s Day Without A Valentine)

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Exciting Weekend Plans (or Finally Meeting The Puppy!)

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