Tag Archives: shooting

I have written about shootings before on here. And it seems like every time I write about a shooting, I have the same things to say. Or not to say. I am in disbelief about what has happened. I am sad for our country and that a minority of people seem to be in charge of what happens. And I am angry that for some reason, the rights of guns seem to be higher than the rights of people. I don’t know what else I can say about it. 

And because of how often mass shootings happen in this country (which is a very sad thing to say to begin with), I don’t write about each one. That doesn’t mean I’m not upset or that I think this is normal. But if I wrote about each one, I might not be writing about anything else. But after what happened this week, I have to write about it. 

I am disgusted at what happened in Texas this week. An entire classroom has been killed. Those kids were innocent and were just getting ready to enjoy their summer break. Instead, going to school that day was the last thing they would do in their short lives. And I can’t imagine the grief their families feel. I can’t imagine the guilt some of the parents might feel after dropping their kids off and thinking they would be safe. How could they know what was going to happen that day? And I read that there was an award ceremony earlier in the day so some of the parents got to see their kids receive awards and then later their kids would be dead. It’s just unthinkable. 

And every time there is a shooting, it seems like the same things happen right after. Some people will say we should not do anything but grieve the lives that were lost and others will call for action. And I’m someone who is calling for action. If we wait until the grieving process is done, we will have another shooting and nothing will be done. I think so many of us thought something would be done after the shooting at Sandy Hook. But somehow, it seems like it has only gotten worse. 

I am not a gun owner. I don’t think there is anything wrong with owning a gun, but I do think that there are some guns that are really not necessary for personal use. If you have a gun for protection or hunting, do you really need something that is used in a war? How many shots do you need in a few seconds to feel protected? But I won’t get into that issue because as someone who doesn’t own guns, I can’t fully understand why someone might have the type of gun they choose. But from my friends who do own guns, I do understand that they, along with a majority of the country, think we need more regulations regarding gun ownership.

If you want to be able to drive a car, which can be a deadly thing, you need to learn how to drive. You have to pass a test. You receive a license to drive and you have to have insurance in case your actions as a driver cause harm to another. And from what I’m hearing from gun owners, they agree that these ideas for guns seem to be a good idea. If you are going to own something that can kill dozens of people, you should know how to use it and how to make sure you keep it safe. If you harm others by accident or on purpose, you should have insurance to pay for the care of those you harm. If you are injured in a shooting, not only do you have to deal with the aftermath and recovery related to that, you may have hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills to deal with once you are recovered. You should be able to make the person responsible for your injuries pay for that. Again, it’s just like having a car. 

I know adding these regulations and rules won’t end all gun violence, but it shouldn’t be as easy as it is right now to get a gun. You can get a gun even if you are too young to drink or rent a car. Some states allow people who have a history that makes them a danger to others to buy a gun. If people who want to end abortions are all about preserving life, why aren’t they fighting for the lives that are ended from gun violence? I know they will say it is different, but I don’t see how it is. While I disagree that an embryo is the same as a child if someone believes that how do they think it’s ok for a child in elementary school to die? And I know there is the argument that teachers should be armed or have more guns to protect schools. I don’t know any teacher that wants to have a deadly weapon in their classroom that could accidentally harm a student or that a student could use against them. And the school in Texas had armed police that tried to stop the shooter before he got inside and was able to do the horrible things that he did. 

I don’t have the answers to how to fix this other than that something has to be done. We have done this for years and things are only getting worse. And I don’t know how much worse it can get and I don’t want to have to see that. Nobody is saying to take away all the guns, but we need to stop allowing the gun lobby to decide what protections we get and ignore what a majority of the country is begging to have happen. 

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I do not want to always write about sad things on here, but sometimes I have to because I am not willing to be a voice that doesn’t speak up. I have spoken up about many different issues on here, but one I have written about a few times is mass shootings. This is something that happens often enough that I haven’t written about many of them on here. But on social media I usually do and I really am so tired of the same news repeating over and over again and politicians saying there is nothing they can do.

I know the statistics show that we’ve had over 300 mass shootings in 2018, but not everyone likes to use that because a mass shooting is any time at least 3 people are shot and it’s not always what people think of when they hear mass shooting. If a man shoots his wife, kids, and neighbor some people might want to think of it as a domestic issue and not a mass shooting. Technically it is a mass shooting, but because some people have a very specific idea of what a mass shooting looks like I’m not doing to debate how many we have had this year.

All I know is that we have had too many.

And in past 3 weeks we have had a major shooting each week that has gotten the attention of the country. Even if you don’t believe we have had as many mass shootings as statistics show, I can’t imagine anyone who doesn’t think that one a week is not an issue.

First we had the shooting in Pittsburgh at the Tree of Life Synagogue that targeted Jewish worshippers. We have had shootings at churches before and I know many politicians said that it was an attack on the Christian faith and they were very harsh in criticizing those who attack people in a place of worship. When this shooting happened, many people did cry out about how this was an attack on the Jewish faith and that this was an act of anti-Semitism. But not all politicians wanted to say that and I know they got a lot of backlash about it. They still aren’t all as upset about this attack on Judaism and they were about previous attacks on Christianity, but at least the public is not letting them get away with it.

As many times in the aftermath of the shooting, some politicians (the President included) were saying how this wouldn’t have happened if people had guns with them. However the security guard at the synagogue was shot so being armed didn’t help. There have been attacks on temples and synagogues in the past so they typically do have a lot of security. I remember years ago when I interviewed for a job at a Jewish school and I had to go through a metal detector, my car was searched including a mirror underneath to make sure there was nothing there, and there were multiple levels of secure spaces inside that I had to go through. I can’t imagine having more security nor do I think that people should be terrified to worship where they choose to do so. It is so wrong to blame people for wanting to go to a place to practice their religion but not want to have a gun with them in case someone decides to attack them.

Last week, there was the shooting at the yoga studio in Tallahassee. This was a man who had shared online on various forms of social media about how he blames women for not dating or sleeping with him. This is a story we have heard before with other mass shootings. He felt like he had the right to have the women he wanted and was not ok with them rejecting him. I haven’t seen in the news that he targeted that yoga studio because a particular woman there rejected him or he just picked it because he knew a lot of women would be there. Either way, this was a man who targeted that studio for a reason and he injured many and killed 2 people. And again, to suggest that these women are to blame by not being armed is disgusting. Yoga is a place to be peaceful and nobody should have to be carrying a weapon to feel safe to do so.

And then yesterday (or technically I guess since it happened before midnight it was 2 days ago), there was the shooting at the Borderline bar in Thousand Oaks. This is a bar that many of my friends go to but I personally have not been there. It was college night at the bar so you didn’t have to be 21 to go in and there were many college freshmen and sophomores enjoying a night out. They were having fun when a man decided to go inside and start shooting. This is all very new news so there isn’t much known about the shooter. They have said that he is a veteran and that he served overseas. But they haven’t said anything about a motive, if he had made threats in the past, if he had a connect to the bar, or anything.

I woke up yesterday and since I had gone to be early the night before I didn’t know the news until I got up. I usually listen to an NPR podcast each morning as I get up that gives a quick recap of the news from the day before. But yesterday morning, there were 2 episodes of the podcast. One was the regular one and the other had the title “Thousand Oaks Shooting Update”. I immediately looked at the news online and read the horrific story of what happened. I watched a lot of news yesterday but had to turn it off after several hours because I was getting too upset about it.

While I never went to Borderline, I remember lots of bars like it that I went to in college before I was 21. They were always fun places to go out and be with awesome people. I can’t say that I always felt safe, but it had nothing to do with gun violence. I was worried that someone would slip something into my drink or that I would have something similar happen to me. But I never thought about a gunman coming into the bar and shooting.

The news is saying that many people survived the shooting last night because they have been raised in a world where these mass shootings are a common occurrence. They have heard stories about how to survive and instinctually did that when the shooting started. They knew places to look to hide or how to play dead. They broke windows to escape and teamed up to make sure that their friends and people they just met got out safely. While I am so grateful that so many people got out safe and alive, I am heartbroken that they knew so much about mass shootings that they had plans on how to live even before the shooting started.

While some people are scared of people coming from other countries to terrorize citizens, all of these shootings were done by citizens and not some outsider. There are a lot of other things I could say about the shooters, but I’m not going to. We all know that this is an issue. We all know that mental health care in this country isn’t doing enough to help those who need it and might be stopped from doing something like this if they were able to think clearly. We all know that guns are very easy for people to access even if they don’t have a legal right to own them. These are all things that could be fixed but I don’t know what it is going to take to finally have some action made on the steps to fix it.

I don’t want to have to live in fear that someone will shoot me in a place of worship, a fitness studio, a bar, a school, a business, or anywhere else. I want to feel safe being in public and not feel like I need to carry a weapon just in case. I’m so tired of reading about these stories without change. But I’m going to keep writing about them because I am not going to stand by and feel like nothing will happen because it never has before.

One day there will be a change. I just really hope it will be sooner rather than later.

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As a girl, society has taught me to be scared of many things. Many of those things are about men. I’ve been taught to not walk alone at night because a man might rob, rape, or murder me. I’ve been taught to smile and say hello or thank you to a stranger who speaks to me so I don’t make them upset. I’ve been taught to wear a fake wedding ring if I want to prevent men from hitting on me. I’ve been taught not to outright turn a man down if I’m not interested because that can cause them to become violent. I’ve been taught that I should not give a man my address if we are dating until I can trust him because I don’t want him appearing at my home unannounced.

I know that not all men will do these things, but there are bad seeds that we have to worry about. And the good guys out there will do what they can to make sure that I’m not in those situations (walking me to my car or pretending to be my boyfriend to stop a guy from hitting on me).

But I never really had to be fearful of guns.

Until now.

Now I need to be careful when I go to a school because I might be shot. I need to be careful going to work because I might be shot. I need to be careful going to a medical facility because I might be shot. I need to be careful going into public places or near crowds because I might be shot. I need to be careful going into a foreign country because I might be shot.

I’m usually not taking a strong political stance on here, but serious this is getting ridiculous. There have been so many mass shootings lately. In fact there were multiple mass shootings yesterday but the others weren’t reported on because the one in San Bernardino was bigger.

There needs to be some sort of gun control policy set to help prevent these crimes. I’m aware that there isn’t a way to stop all mass shootings, but guns and bullets are far too easy for unstable people to get a hold of. I’m aware that there are thousands of responsible gun owners. They can keep their guns. In fact, many of my gun owning friends are in favor of more gun control and regulation. Why not require background checks and licenses? Is that so unreasonable?

The responsible gun owners are like the good guys who walk me to my car because I’m scared of being attacked. They understand why I (and others) are fearful and are willing to do what needs to be done to help prevent the fear. Why can’t more people see that? I don’t know a single person who is for gun control who wants guns to be banned or taken away from responsible gun owners.

I have a couple of friends who had a friend injured in the shooting yesterday. From what I understand, their friend is going to pull through. But the friends and families of the 14 people who were killed for no reason yesterday will not have that good news. They will be mourning the loss of someone who was killed because they happened to be at a holiday party at a building. That’s not a reason to die.

As much as I want to say that this act of violence will change things and that politicians will wake up and realize a difference needs to be made, I doubt that would happen. I was so sure that would happen after Sandy Hook. But instead of seeing the tragedy of children and their teacher being killed while in school, some politicians said that teachers need to be armed to prevent this. So I’m guessing that the response this time is that all employees should carry guns just in case someone will come into their workplace and shoot. Not prevent that person from coming into their workplace with a gun.

Sorry for the rambling post. I’m pissed and saddened that this is happening again. Hopefully one day, we will look back at this time and realize how stupid it was that it took so many mass shootings for the country to wake up. And I hope that realization will come within my lifetime.

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After the shooting at UCSB the hashtag #yesallwomen starting popping up on twitter and Facebook. The hashtag started in response to men saying that not all men act the way that the gunman in the shooting acted (feeling like women owed him sex and that they had no right to reject him). But the #yesallwomen movement started because even if very few men act that way, all women have encountered a man who treated them horribly.

I’ve seen posts over the last few days with people sharing their stories about how they were raped or assaulted. I’m one of the lucky people. I’ve never been hurt, at least not too badly.

In college, a guy on my campus tried to grab at me. I was lucky that he was very drunk and I was able to fight him off by hitting him with my shoes. I’ve been on dates where guys think that I owe them sex because I agreed to go out with them. I’ve had guys tell me that if they did anything to me it couldn’t be rape because nobody would ever want to rape a fat girl. I’ve been groped and grabbed more times than I can count.

One incident sticks out in my mind. It was a few years ago at one of the LA Actor Tweetups. Those events are usually fun hangouts and catchups for me. I get to see people who I haven’t seen in a while and meet new like-minded people. But at this one particular tweetup I was standing in a corner talking to a friend of mine (I think we were talking about the SAG-AFTRA merger which hadn’t happened at that time). While we were in the middle of the conversation, a guy walks up to us and grabs my breast. Then he takes his other hand to introduce himself. I smacked his hand away and he said that he didn’t mean anything by grabbing me. He just wanted to get a better look at my name tag. Needless to say, my friend and I walked away but the groper left the event before I could report him to the organizers.

It’s sad that we live in a world where this sort of behavior is expected. It’s sad that women are supposed to be responsible for how men think of them. If you wear something short or tight and you get raped, you were asking for it. I remember when I was at summer camp when I was 12 or 13 and an older female camper was assaulted by a male camper. Our cabin counselors talked to all the girls in my cabin that night and said that the girl should have never walked with the boy by herself. We were all told to stay with a buddy no matter what.

Just because you walk alone with someone does not mean that you are consenting to anything more than walking with that person. Just because you are drunk or high does not mean that you are giving up all your rights.

I’ve always been taught to protect myself. I know how to fight back. I know never to walk alone at night (even to this day I will not walk to my car alone). I know never to let my drink out of my sight and if it has been, I know to throw it out. When I got my first apartment, I was given pepper spray as a gift.

But as women, we cannot control what men think about us or what they try to do. And I’m glad that my friends who have sons have been sharing online that they plan to educate their sons about consent (which has been missing from most boys’ upbringings in my opinion). And while most men who were not educated about consent will be good and still make sure that they have consent before doing anything, there is always the exception who doesn’t know (or doesn’t believe) that getting consent is important to them.

So if you were online over the last few days and didn’t understand the #yesallwomen hashtag or disagree with it, know that you might not be a part of the problem, but pretty much every woman you know has been a victim of it.

And that since I’ve only been called horrible names, been groped and grabbed, and had someone try to attack me that I’m one of the lucky ones. What I’ve been through is nothing compared to almost every other woman I know.

And to the women who have been brave enough to share their stories, I’m so inspired by you all. I know that it must be very difficult to share those stories with people and take the risk of being judged. But hopefully by the open conversation that you have all started more people will realize that this is a problem and there needs to be a change.

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On Friday morning, I was rushing to get to work. Fridays are one of my early days, so I was trying to get dressed and eat breakfast quickly. I had the news on in the background, and as I was about to step out the door, the news anchor mentioned something about a shooting at a school. They didn’t know if anyone was injured or hurt at that time.

Later at work, I was checking twitter and the news just kept getting worse and worse. It was a shooting at an elementary school, there were adults who were killed, there is an entire class missing and feared dead.

It was awful. I was trying to focus on working, but I couldn’t stop watching my twitter feed. Then I saw a tweet from my friend Heather. Her friend’s nephew was killed in the attack. That just made it hit home for me so much more. I don’t know Heather’s friend or her nephew, but my heart still broke.

I was hanging out with another friend and her kids that afternoon and it was nice spend time being silly and not focusing on the horrible things going on.

The monster who did this should not be acknowledged. Part of the problem is how the media will glorify the killer but the victims names are forgotten.

I won’t let that happen, at least in my mind.

I’ve learned that my friend’s friend’s nephew was named Noah. He had just turned 6 last month. His twin sister and older sister were in other classrooms and survived. His favorite color was blue. He loved Legos and superheroes. If you’d like to help Noah’s family, there are some ways to help at this link.

I read about two different heroic teachers who made the ultimate sacrifice to protect their students. Victoria Soto was 27 and was killed while she shielded her students from the gunman. Lauren Rousseau was 30. She was a substitute teacher at Sandy Hook. That hit me really hard. I am a K-12 substitute teacher for a public school district in Los Angeles. I would only hope that if something this horrible would happen while I was subbing that I would have the same courage that Lauren Rousseau had.

There are far too many victims to talk about each one. I found this website where all the victims are named and some memories of them are shared as well. I appreciate that the killer is not included on this list. I want him to be forgotten but the victims to be remembered forever.

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