Tag Archives: obituary

A Big Loss In My Family (or Saying Goodbye To My Grandma)

Posted on October 17, 2019 | Comments Off

I’ve worked on this post multiple times and I keep deleting and re-writing it. I wish I had an eloquent way to write this, but my words are failing me. As you can probably tell from the title of this post, my grandma passed away.

She passed away peacefully on Friday. I actually found out while at my convention. I had just changed for the gala and was walking back from my car after dropping off my daytime clothes when my dad texted me. The text said to call when I had a break at the convention and I immediately knew that it was going to be about bad news. Several things went through my head, but I called my dad back right away and he let me know that my grandma passed away. My parents thought about waiting to tell me, but they didn’t want me to see it posted on social media or something before they could give me the news.

I immediately burst into tears. I knew my grandma wasn’t doing well and that she was probably going to pass away soon, but I had really hoped that she would make it to Thanksgiving so I could see her one more time. The last time I saw her or talked to her was last Thanksgiving (she wasn’t really able to talk on the phone anymore so I didn’t get to call her over the past year). So I wanted to see her again so I could feel like I had a chance to say goodbye. I hate that I didn’t get that chance, but I also know that my grandma wasn’t really herself for a few months.

I had been having weird dreams for the 2 weeks before her death that she would pass away while I was at the convention. I don’t know why I thought that, but in all my dreams I found out in the middle of convention voting. I never dreamt it would be as I was walking into the gala. I hung up with my dad quickly since I was trying to pull myself together. A friend of mine saw me crying hysterically on a couch and he went to find some tissues for me and sat with me for a little while. And when I went into the gala, I tried to hold it together but there were several times I started crying. I felt so lucky that I was surrounded by friends that night who were able to comfort me a bit. And I remembered during the gala that the purse I was using was one of my grandma’s that she passed down to me, so that made me happy.

I know when my grandpa died I wrote about his life and what he had done. But I can’t do that with remembering my grandma. I was closer to her than I was with my grandpa and everything about her is a memory of something amazing.

I remember being little and thinking my grandma was so glamourous. When she got ready in the morning, she would do her hair and makeup and then wore this mesh thing over her head while she got dressed to make sure her makeup didn’t get smudged. I loved that she did that. She always was protecting her hair and making sure she looked good. I remember when my grandparents went to an amusement park with us and my grandma agreed to go on a water ride because she thought she’d stay dry. Our raft got stuck under a waterfall and she was the only person under the water. She was soaked and we were all laughing so much.

She was also an amazing cook. When they had their house in San Diego, their kitchen always smelled delicious. It seemed like she could make anything and I was lucky that my mom had the same cooking skills. When my mom and grandma cooked together, the food was just that much better.

And my grandma loved playing backgammon. I think everyone in the family learned to play because of her. She was easily the best backgammon player and we joked that she was a witch because she could always roll exactly what she needed. She loved that she was able to kick all of our butts and never went easy on us. She played to win every time and her face lit up as soon as she knew there was no way for her opponent to beat her.

And just like my grandpa, she loved to travel. My grandma went to all 7 continents and loved to explore new places. And I loved traveling with her. I remember when we were on a cruise in Belize and there was a dance contest one night for all the guests. My grandma ended up dancing with the boat captain and she was dancing up a storm! I know we have a video of that somewhere and I’m so glad that I can watch it again one day.

I really wish I could say enough so you all could know how amazing and incredible my grandma was. Losing her was heartbreaking, but at the same time I know she wasn’t doing well for a while so I’m glad she’s no longer a shell of who she used to me. When I saw her a year ago, she wasn’t the same person I remembered most of the time. But every so often, the old grandma would reemerge and she would be who I remembered. Last year, the moment that stuck with me the most was when we were watching old family movies. We were watching a birthday party when I was little and my dad was on the screen. My grandma turned to me and asked me who that was. I told her it was my dad and she turned to look at him sitting on the couch near us. My dad in the video had hair and my dad now is bald. My grandma turned to me and said in a totally serious voice that my dad looked much better when he had hair. It was so funny and made me so happy to get a glimpse of the grandma that I remembered.

I tried to find a nice way to share photos on here, but there are too many that I love and no great way to organize them in this post. So here are some of my favorite photos of my grandma that I had on my computer (I don’t have any of my favorite photos with her from when I was younger).

And this is one of my favorite recent photos with her. I had picked my grandma up from where she was living in San Diego to meet up with my family. She couldn’t find her sunglasses but I had some extra ones in my car. They were much flashier than what she would wear, and my dad took a picture of us because he said my grandma looked so cool. I just love this photo of us.

The last photo I have with my grandma is from last Thanksgiving. We were trying to get a nice family photo and it was difficult. So I told my uncle to set his camera to take a video and I would find a still image that would work as a family photo. But instead of selecting a posed one, I love this candid one of us all and my family seemed to love it too. I’m glad that I have a silly photo of all of us together last year.

I’m going to miss my grandma so much. I don’t know if it’s hit me since I wasn’t expecting to see her until Thanksgiving. I think this Thanksgiving is going to be a tough one, but my grandma would want us to celebrate her and not be sad. She would want us to have fun, be silly, make crazy jokes, and enjoy life. And that’s what I’m going to try hard to do.

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Posted in Family, Tough Stuff

Tagged death, grandparents, obituary, sad

Goodbye Grandpa (or Remembering A Full Life)

Posted on April 7, 2015 | 7 comments

Early on Thursday morning, my grandpa passed away.

As you are reading this, I’m in San Diego spending time with my family. Our focus is on my grandma and making sure that she is ok and that everything that needs to be taken care of is done.

But I wanted to share with you all how badass my grandpa was. He and I had a complicated relationship, but he loved me and I loved him. And he really did live so much in his 92 years (he would have turned 93 next month).

I don’t know a ton about my grandpa’s childhood. I know that he wrote down his history and his family history on his computer somewhere, and I hope that we are able to locate that document. I really want to have that myself so I can remember where he came from and what happened when he was young.

My grandpa was not someone who talked about the past a lot. In fact, I had no idea that he was in Germany in WWII fighting the Nazis until he was talking about it maybe 5 years ago.

When he and my grandma got married they first lived in Lake Charles, Louisiana.

They lived there for a while (my mom, aunt, and uncle were all born there) before moving to LA.

I’ve been to their houses in LA before, but sadly I don’t have any photos of that on my computer. But they lived in the valley and had some really cool houses.

While they lived in LA, they lived it up! My grandpa got a boat and he, my grandma, my mom, my aunt, and my uncle sailed on it a lot. I’ve heard so many stories from their time on the boat, especially when they were in Catalina. My favorite story is actually one about my mom when she was hit in the face with a flying fish one evening in Catalina. But I think my entire family thinks that story is pretty awesome.

He also loved to fly. He flew a small plane that was just big enough for the family.

They flew all over the US on lots of different trips. They would fly to Louisiana to go back to visit family and my mom, aunt, and uncle got to travel the US by plane quite a bit. I think that if he could have flown that plane for the rest of his life, he would have.

Once my grandpa retired, they moved down to San Diego. But even in retirement, my grandpa never slowed down. He designed the backyard and swimming pool at their house, and I don’t think that anyone could have done it better. And they had the best orange trees and the orange juice was freshly squeezed every visit.

I think if I had to pick one of his favorite things to do, it would be to travel. My grandparents always seemed to go on these epic trips, both within the US and internationally. My grandpa traveled to all 7 continents (even Antarctica!) and inspired me to hope to do the same in my lifetime.

Sometimes my parents, my brother, and I was lucky enough to get to join my grandparents on the trips they did. One of the most epic trips that we did as a big extended family was to go to Africa together.

This trip was for my grandparents’ 50th anniversary. All 3 generations (this was way before my cousin had her kids) of the family were there to experience the safari together. Besides my grandparents’ anniversary we also celebrated my parents’ 15th anniversary, my cousin’s 15th birthday, and my 14th birthday while we were in Africa. That was definitely one of the best birthdays that I ever had. My grandpa really wanted all of us to go to Africa together because he had loved it there when he and my grandma went before and he wanted to make sure that we could all experience it as well.

But more than traveling, he loved my grandma.

Last September they celebrated their 67th anniversary and they seemed in as much love as ever.

Last Thanksgiving, almost everyone in my family was able to be together (only one cousin wasn’t able to make it). We took a family photo after dinner and I’m so glad that we were able to get one more (almost) full family photo.

While I am sad that my grandpa passed away, I can only admire how full of a life he lived. He really maximized every day that he had and I don’t think that he had any regrets of things that he wasn’t able to do (except maybe to keep flying a plane later in life).

I will always remember my grandpa as the one who got me to drink martinis (and I got him hooked on blue cheese stuffed olives), who loved to email dirty jokes to the entire family, and the one who gave me my love of traveling.

Thank you Grandpa for everything that you did for our family and for loving us all as much as you did. I know that there will be a hole in our family now that can’t be filled. But we will all try to live life to the fullest to honor how you lived your life.

Robert Joseph Fry (May 29, 1922-April 2, 2015)

7 Comments

Posted in Family, Tough Stuff

Tagged death, grandparents, obituary, travel

Losing A Friend (or Life Can Be Just So Unfair)

Posted on April 22, 2014 | 2 comments

I got some pretty bad news yesterday. My friend Keri passed away after an almost 2 year battle with advanced cancer.

I had known that this was coming, but it didn’t make it any easier. I’m heartbroken.

I met Keri in 2005 at my cousin Stephie’s wedding. Keri and my cousin Adam had been dating for years by then and the wedding was the first time that she and I got to meet in person. Before I got to meet her, but after she started dating my cousin, Keri had been diagnosed with a brain tumor. It wasn’t cancerous and they removed it, but it did cause some health issues. But she beat that tumor and when I met her, she was the most vibrant and friendly person ever.

A few months after the wedding, Keri and Adam had invited me to Portland to come and visit them. That trip was so much fun! I really got to know Keri and realized then that she was just a super generous friend and so many people in Portland loved her.

We got to go out on my cousin Adam’s sailboat during that trip and even though there was no wind so we couldn’t really sail, we had an awesome time.

That trip is so memorable for all the fun that we had, but also because while I was walking in the Portland airport to take my flight home, I collapsed in pain. I didn’t know it at the time, but that was the start to all my hip issues. While I was dealing with all my hip issues and misdiagnoses from my doctors, Keri was someone who I could call and vent to. She always was happy to listen to me and give advice when it was asked for.

The next time I got to see Keri was in 2007 at my grandparents’ 60th anniversary party. I was at my skinniest then, and as soon as Keri saw me, she said that I was beautiful at my heaviest and beautiful as I was then too. She said that she would love me no matter what my weight was and all she wanted was me to be happy. At the time, she was the only person who I felt felt that for me and it meant so much that she said it out loud for me to hear.

I only got to see Keri in person a few other times after that. But we always stayed in touch. We called when we could and Keri also wrote me the most beautiful handwritten notes that she mailed to me. Sadly, I lost a bunch of those notes when I moved into my current house (they were in a box with all my non-digital pictures and somehow that box never made the move), but I still have one.

Keri and I were also birthday buddies. My cousin Adam and I have birthdays close together (his is August 7th and mine is August 9th) and Keri’s was right in the middle on the 8th. Every year I would call Keri on her birthday and she would call me on mine. It was pretty funny to have calls 2 days in a row, but it was special. And at the end of every phone call, birthday or not, Keri always ended the call with saying that she loved me.

Sadly, about 2 years ago Keri had gotten in a car accident and had some abdominal pain. It was discovered that she had very advanced cancer and that it had already spread. Traditional treatment options like chemo or surgery were not options for her. So she used holistic treatments as well as positive thinking and she did amazing! The doctors had only given her a few months, and she almost made it 2 years.

My Aunt Cindy (my cousin Adam’s mom) called me last week to let me know that Keri wasn’t doing too well. She let me know that the end was probably near and she wanted me to know. For the last week, I panicked every time my phone had an alert because I was terrified that it was bad news. I checked Facebook all the time for news.

And today, after I had gotten home from a dentist appointment, an email from Aunt Cindy came saying that Keri had passed away in the morning.

The news hit me so hard and it felt like I was punched in the stomach. It just wasn’t fair. Even though I knew it would eventually end like this, it just sucks. Keri was so wonderful and had overcome a tumor already. Why did she have to get cancer too? And if she had to get cancer, why couldn’t it have been treatable?

She was doing so much good in the world and there was so much more good she could have done. Keri was a teacher and I’m hoping that her students carry on her legacy by being as kind and gracious as she was. I know that that’s why I’m going to try to do.

I wish I had more to write about Keri. I wish I had more pictures of us together. I wish her story in my life wasn’t ending like this.

2 Comments

Posted in Family, Tough Stuff

Tagged cancer, death, friends, obituary

What Also Happened On Christmas (or Our Sweet Chaucer)

Posted on December 27, 2013 | 1 comment

While I try to be completely honest all the time on here, there are some things that I can’t share right away.

While I did a recap of my Christmas, you might have noticed that there was no mention of our new puppy Chaucer.

We picked up Chaucer on Sunday. He seemed absolutely perfect. The only thing was his neutering site was a little infected (he had licked at it and the incision opened up). We were told that he would be fine and that the incision was re-glued. When we brought him home, he was a wonderfully squirmy puppy. He did everything a puppy should do. He ate like a pig, cried when we put him in the kennel or “gated community”, and just wanted to be loved on and cuddled.

Monday was pretty much the same as Sunday. He did all the usual puppy things. We worked on training with him and was so pleased to see that he already knew some of his commands and was even very close to being potty trained. We showed him off to lots of our neighbors and friends that day.

Tuesday morning things changed. Chaucer vomited and refused to eat. He also seemed very lethargic. We rushed him to the vet that my family has used for decades and the vet didn’t seem too concerned. This vet wasn’t the usual vet that our dogs have seen, but she was the only one there so we saw her. The vet said that he might just have a stomach bug and that would explain the vomiting and refusing to eat. His blood sugar was extremely low so they gave him fluids and glucose to perk him up. He didn’t perk up right away, but we were told to give things time. We were also given medicine to help with the nausea and the infection at the neutering site (which didn’t really seem that big of a deal to the vet).

All day Tuesday we fed him baby food and water (what the vet told us to do). We fed him every 90 minutes. He was still going to the bathroom so we figured we were doing what he needed. In the evening he started to perk up so we thought maybe he was getting better.

Then early on Christmas morning, my parents heard Chaucer making noise in this kennel. They thought he needed to go out to potty, so they got him and took him outside. He was having grand mal seizure. Thinking it was related to the blood sugar issue, my parents fed him maple syrup. They woke me up to tell me that they were rushing Chaucer to the emergency vet. While my mom was driving, Chaucer had another seizure and died in my dad’s arms.

When my parents took his body to the vet yesterday so he could be buried, the vet believed that he had sepsis due to the infection from being neutered. There was nothing else we could have done to save him. The infection was there when we got him and it was probably too far along. His little body couldn’t fight it.

We are all so devastated that this happened. We spent a lot of Christmas in total shock. It almost didn’t feel real. It didn’t feel like we ever had Chaucer.

I wish I could write an obituary for him like I did for Dante, but sadly we were just getting to know Chaucer when he died.

What I can tell you is that Chaucer was such a sweet dog. He was loving and greeted pretty much everyone we introduced him to with a kiss. He was also unbelievably smart. For only being 8 weeks old, he already knew commands and how to listen. And he picked up where in the backyard to go potty on his first day home.

Chaucer had his whole life ahead of him, and I know that he would have been an amazing dog. There’s no doubt in my mind about it.

My parents aren’t sure when they’ll get another dog now. They do want to add a dog to the family, but this hit them so hard that they are being very cautious. They want to make sure that the next dog is as healthy as can be.

Some people have asked me if they can do anything for Dante’s memory. If you would like to do something in honor of Dante and now Chaucer, you can donate to Pound Puppy Rescues. They are the organization that rescued Chaucer and all his puppy siblings from a dog hoarder. They foster all the dogs in homes so they don’t have to go to shelters. I know that any donations made there will go to make sure that all dogs find wonderful forever homes.

And hopefully soon, my family will find our forever dog.

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Posted in Family, Tough Stuff

Tagged death, dog, obituary, puppy

Goodbye Dante (or An Obituary For My Beloved Dog)

Posted on December 20, 2013 | 4 comments

I’m so sad to let you all know that Dante passed away yesterday. The cancer that he had was very aggressive and he survived almost 2 weeks longer than both the vet and the dog oncologist thought he could. And I am more grateful than ever that I got to see Dante two more times after his diagnosis.

But I want to share more than just his passing with you all. Dante was an amazing dog and you should all know the legacy that he is leaving behind.

We got Dante as a puppy. He was a rescue dog (I think everyone should adopt since there are so many dogs out there looking for a home). And from the day we got him, we knew that Dante was different. We always said that he seemed like a person in a dog suit, not a dog. We knew that he was meant for something special.

We put him in puppy school right away and he was so incredibly smart. He also was always calm around people and seemed to make everyone happy wherever he was. While I was still in high school, my mom brought Dante to school where he hung out in the library. And once my mom saw how great he was with everyone, she decided to see if Dante could become a therapy dog.

Dante passed all the therapy dog tests with flying colors and my mom and Dante started to work with a group called Furry Friends and they visited people in nursing homes and senior centers.

After working with Furry Friends for a while, my mom was inspired to start a pet therapy program at the hospital where my dad worked so Dante could work there. Dante was such an amazing dog (and my mom was a great presenter), so the hospital created a therapy program. Dante was the very first dog in the program, and Dante helped to train all the other dogs there (I don’t know exactly how many dogs they have now, but it’s over 10 for sure). The program will live on for many years, and it all started because of Dante.

Besides being a working dog, Dante was an amazing family dog. He loved to be with my family (especially my mom). He loved being in Tahoe so he could hike in the summer and play in the snow in the winter. He also loved the beach (and loved to roll in dead seals if he had the chance and my mom didn’t catch him). He liked to hang out with the family wherever we were.

This loss is a hard for my family. Dante was a family member, not just a dog. And he became the child of the family once both my brother and I moved away for college. There is a hole in all of our hearts right now.

To close out this post, I just wanted to share some of my favorite Dante pictures.

He had this look he would get sometimes, and we would call it googly-eyes. This photo is the best example I have of that look.

He also was one of the most photogenic dogs I know. He always seemed to know to smile for the camera.

And he put up with all the silly outfits we put him in (this is what my brother chose for him one Halloween).

And celebrities loved Dante! I used to work out with Richard Simmons, and my parents joined me a few years ago when they were in town. Richard found out that Dante was waiting in the car and he insisted we bring him to the studio so he could meet him.

And this is one of the last photos I have of Dante. My mom sent it to me to show me how well Dante was doing on his new medicine. I love his smile in this one.

If you want to see more photos (and a video) of Dante or learn more about therapy dogs, check out Dante’s website.

I’m sorry if this post is depressing. This is a major thing in my life and I didn’t want to not share it because it’s sad.

Dante Levin 1/26/01-12/19/13

4 Comments

Posted in Family, Tough Stuff

Tagged cancer, death, dog, obituary, therapy dog

Tag Archives: obituary

A Big Loss In My Family (or Saying Goodbye To My Grandma)

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Goodbye Grandpa (or Remembering A Full Life)

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Losing A Friend (or Life Can Be Just So Unfair)

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What Also Happened On Christmas (or Our Sweet Chaucer)

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Goodbye Dante (or An Obituary For My Beloved Dog)

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Goodbye Grandpa (or Remembering A Full Life)

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