Tag Archives: cancer

Enough With Being Sick (or Holy Moly I’m Craving Exercise)

Posted on January 20, 2014 | Comments Off

I really spent most of last week being sick. I worked on Monday and stayed home Tuesday and Wednesday knowing that I was way too sick to work. I went in to work on Thursday but as soon as my boss saw me, he sent me home. I guess I looked pretty sick still. I finally returned to work on Friday but I still wasn’t completely better.

I’m not so good at sitting at home waiting to get better, but that’s what I had to do. For those few days I was sick, even walking down my driveway seemed to wear me out. And I didn’t feel too sick while I was sick, which bothered me a lot. I felt like I could do whatever but then when I tried it I was exhausted. But I did manage to make it out of my house each day while sick.

I’m writing this on Sunday and I’m still not completely better. I had to stop taking decongestants because you can only take them so many days in a row. But I’m still not able to breathe out of my nose all the time. It’s pretty annoying.

Midway through the week, I really wanted to go to SoulCycle. Obviously with a fever I couldn’t go. But I was so shocked that I craved working out. That’s a new thing for me. Normally I’m looking for ways to get out of a workout, not ways to tell myself that I’m healthy enough to go.

But I think I need to wait until I can breathe through my nose before doing a workout like spinning. So I’m still waiting to return. Hopefully in the next few days all my congestion will go away.

I’ve got a few weeks left at work before we are supposed to go on another break and I really want to make the most of my time there before not having any income (outside of unemployment). Being out this past week really didn’t help. But I’m taking extra shifts working at shows on the weekends. I did one tonight (Sunday) and I’m scheduled to do another one this upcoming Saturday night. Every little bit helps. And working is helping me to start feeling like I’m healthy again.

Even though being sick totally sucks, I’m still trying to look at the positives. I used to get sick a lot more often. Before my tonsils came out a few years ago, I seems to have strep throat or a cold every other month. Now, since I don’t have my tonsils anymore, I seem to only get sick twice a year. And I have to be very grateful that I got sick now and not at a time that I’m visiting my parents. My mom is still going through chemo (only 2 more left!!!) and she cannot get sick. I don’t know if it will be the same when she’s going through radiation, but I know that if I was home this past week, it could have been very very bad for my mom.

Hopefully this will be the last post about me being sick for a while.

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Posted in Fitness, Health, Tough Stuff

Tagged cancer, chemo, cold, job, sick, time off, work

Home Again (or Missing Dante)

Posted on December 24, 2013 | 1 comment

First of all, before I get into today’s blog, a quick update. I didn’t get the job I thought I was going to get. So I’m staying at my current job for right now. I just hope that it stays better for a while.

I flew to Northern California to see my parents this past Saturday after my work shift. While I was nervous as usual to fly, I was also scared about how I’d feel going into a house without Dante there.

When my dad came to the airport to pick me up, it was fine. I’m used to him getting me without Dante (or my mom). But when we got home, it got a bit weird.

There was no Dante at the door to greet me. I didn’t hear his collar jangling or him drinking water like crazy (he had an issue where he always would drink bowls of water without stopping). There was no dog to snuggle with while I was reading. And there was no dog coming down the stairs in the morning, nosing open the guest room door, and waking me up.

I know that it’s been much worse for my parents. They were here with him 24/7 and now he’s gone. And yes, there has been crying (I’m tearing up as I write this). But we’ve been trying to think of all the happy memories of Dante and the amazing almost 13 years that we had with him (I can’t believe that we had Dante for close to half my lifetime!).

I’ve also had been saying that we need to focus on making sure that we bring Chaucer into a happy home, not a sad home. We need to focus on the excitement of bring Chaucer into the family. And I know it’s a lot of pressure to put on a little puppy, but this dog is exactly what my family needs. We need a distraction. We need some positivity in our lives. We need something silly to laugh at.

As I write this, we do have Chaucer home. I’ll write more about that tomorrow. But I will say that in the day that we’ve had him, he’s done exactly what we needed and more.

1 Comment

Posted in Family, Tough Stuff, Travel

Tagged airplane, cancer, death, dog, puppy

Goodbye Dante (or An Obituary For My Beloved Dog)

Posted on December 20, 2013 | 4 comments

I’m so sad to let you all know that Dante passed away yesterday. The cancer that he had was very aggressive and he survived almost 2 weeks longer than both the vet and the dog oncologist thought he could. And I am more grateful than ever that I got to see Dante two more times after his diagnosis.

But I want to share more than just his passing with you all. Dante was an amazing dog and you should all know the legacy that he is leaving behind.

We got Dante as a puppy. He was a rescue dog (I think everyone should adopt since there are so many dogs out there looking for a home). And from the day we got him, we knew that Dante was different. We always said that he seemed like a person in a dog suit, not a dog. We knew that he was meant for something special.

We put him in puppy school right away and he was so incredibly smart. He also was always calm around people and seemed to make everyone happy wherever he was. While I was still in high school, my mom brought Dante to school where he hung out in the library. And once my mom saw how great he was with everyone, she decided to see if Dante could become a therapy dog.

Dante passed all the therapy dog tests with flying colors and my mom and Dante started to work with a group called Furry Friends and they visited people in nursing homes and senior centers.

After working with Furry Friends for a while, my mom was inspired to start a pet therapy program at the hospital where my dad worked so Dante could work there. Dante was such an amazing dog (and my mom was a great presenter), so the hospital created a therapy program. Dante was the very first dog in the program, and Dante helped to train all the other dogs there (I don’t know exactly how many dogs they have now, but it’s over 10 for sure). The program will live on for many years, and it all started because of Dante.

Besides being a working dog, Dante was an amazing family dog. He loved to be with my family (especially my mom). He loved being in Tahoe so he could hike in the summer and play in the snow in the winter. He also loved the beach (and loved to roll in dead seals if he had the chance and my mom didn’t catch him). He liked to hang out with the family wherever we were.

This loss is a hard for my family. Dante was a family member, not just a dog. And he became the child of the family once both my brother and I moved away for college. There is a hole in all of our hearts right now.

To close out this post, I just wanted to share some of my favorite Dante pictures.

He had this look he would get sometimes, and we would call it googly-eyes. This photo is the best example I have of that look.

He also was one of the most photogenic dogs I know. He always seemed to know to smile for the camera.

And he put up with all the silly outfits we put him in (this is what my brother chose for him one Halloween).

And celebrities loved Dante! I used to work out with Richard Simmons, and my parents joined me a few years ago when they were in town. Richard found out that Dante was waiting in the car and he insisted we bring him to the studio so he could meet him.

And this is one of the last photos I have of Dante. My mom sent it to me to show me how well Dante was doing on his new medicine. I love his smile in this one.

If you want to see more photos (and a video) of Dante or learn more about therapy dogs, check out Dante’s website.

I’m sorry if this post is depressing. This is a major thing in my life and I didn’t want to not share it because it’s sad.

Dante Levin 1/26/01-12/19/13

4 Comments

Posted in Family, Tough Stuff

Tagged cancer, death, dog, obituary, therapy dog

Countdown To Saturday (or I’m Actually Excited To Get On A Plane)

Posted on December 18, 2013 | Comments Off

Saturday is when I go home to see my family. I have a few days off of work so I’ll get to be home for 5 days this time!

While I’m typically panicky and nervous to get on a plane, there are so many things to look forward to on this trip that I’m actually feeling pretty good about this flight (I’m still going to take my panic meds no matter what).

I get to spend time with my parents. I might go with my mom when she gets blood work done so if I do I’ll get to meet some of the nurses and doctors who are involved in my mom’s treatment (I really hope to be able to do that). I’ll make a couple of trips to the gym with my dad, which is a tradition that we always do when I’m home.

I’ll get to see my brother and sister-in-law on Christmas. My family doesn’t celebrate Christmas, so the date is coincidental (it’s a day that both my brother and sister-in-law have off of work). I’m bringing their Hanukkah presents with me, so I’ll get to give them their presents in person instead of shipping them (a rare treat).

A couple of my friends that I grew up with are planning on coming over to my parents’ house while I’m home. We are still working on scheduling, but even if I only get to see one friend while I’m home that will be special.

Hopefully, Dante will hold out until Saturday so I can see him again. It’s hard to tell how he’s doing. My parents tell me that he’s not losing weight (thanks to him eating lots of people food) and sometimes he’s able to go out for his usual walks. But he’s sleeping more than usual and gets very tired easily. But Dante is very excited for the puppy (he has a pretty extensive vocabulary and really does understand lots of things we tell him).

And of course, I’m super excited for Chaucer to get to my parents’ house! It still doesn’t seem real that my parents are getting him. I don’t know if it will seem real until we know exactly what day he’s coming home (or maybe not until he gets home). I’m so lucky that I’m going to be home when Chaucer is supposed to come home. Otherwise I might not get to meet the puppy for several months.

Keeping all these positive things in mind is helping keep my panic at bay for now. I’m sure on Friday I’ll be taking my medicine as usual. But it’s nice to have so much to look forward to!

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Posted in Celebrations, Family, Fun Stuff, Travel

Tagged airplane, cancer, family, panic, puppy, trip

What Will Happen In A Week (or Why I’m Excited And Scared To Go Home)

Posted on December 13, 2013 | Comments Off

Next week I’m going home for a few days. I have some time off of work so I figured it would be a good time for a trip home. When this was planned, I didn’t know that I would be going home for a quick visit in November, so it would have been a long time since I was home (I think the last time I was home was last year for Thanksgiving).

I’m excited to get to spend some time with my parents. While I got to see them for a little bit last week, this time I’ll have a few days so we won’t feel rushed. We don’t really have any plans for my visit, so it should be relaxing. I’m also hoping to get to see my brother and sister-in-law. I have their Hanukkah presents and would love to give them to them in person. I’m not sure when or if I’ll get to see them, but we are working on scheduling now.

I also might get to see a friend or two from high school. I haven’t really stayed in touch with too many people from high school (not counting FB of course), but my friend Jackie is trying to come over with her little boy for a visit. That would be great since I haven’t seen either of them in a long time.

But I’m nervous about going home because of my dog. He’s not doing so well right now. He seemed fine last week, but according to my parents he went downhill pretty quickly. He’s still happy, enjoying eating people food, and playing with other dogs and that’s important to me. But he’s also sleeping a lot and you can see the tumor on his leg growing.

We don’t know how much more time we have with Dante, but it’s seeming like it’s pretty limited at this point. But as long as he’s happy, I’m happy.

But I’m scared of two different scenarios.

First, if Dante dies before I come home, I won’t get to see him again. My last time to see him will be those few hours last week. And I don’t know how I will react if I go home and Dante wasn’t there to greet me at the door. Or to hear him playing with his favorite toys. Or to take him out on his walks. I don’t know if I could handle that or if I want to handle that (and yes, I understand that it will be so much harder on my parents than on me since they are with him every single day).

But if Dante doesn’t die before I go home, I’ll get to see him again. And I’m totally looking forward to that. But if he’s acting sick or not like himself, I know that will upset me. It was tough when I was home for the 24 hour visit and he was acting off. I’m pretty sure the pain pills were making him act funny, but it was very upsetting to see him acting loopy and confused.

Either way, I’m excited to get to go home and see everyone that I love. And with either scenario with my dog, I know that I need to be there for my parents.

I’m just focusing on the positives with my upcoming visit and knowing that my dog, while sick, is still enjoying his life to the fullest every day. And I should follow his example.

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Posted in Family, Fun Stuff, Tough Stuff, Travel

Tagged cancer, christmas, dog, family, holidays, sick

Quick Family Visit (or My Extra Long Lunch From Work)

Posted on December 9, 2013 | Comments Off

My parents were driving down to San Diego this past Thursday. Originally, the plan was for me to go back down to San Diego again this past weekend and spend time with them there. But my schedule wasn’t going to allow me to be there for too long, so the new plan was for my parents to stop in LA for lunch with me.

My boss at my day job okayed me taking a long lunch that day (as long as I was back by 6pm because I was running a table at the show that night). My parents got to my work around 2:30 with my dog. I was so excited to get to see Dante again! After his diagnosis, I wasn’t sure how many more times I’d get to see him, that’s why I took the quick visit home a few weeks ago. And of course, I was excited to see my parents again.

We went to lunch near my work and had a nice chat. My parents wanted to know all about the film festival and other things going on in my life. And of course, my dad and I chatted about my spin class.

After lunch, we drove down near the Santa Monica Pier and took Dante for a walk. He’s doing so much better compared to the weekend I was home. His incision is healing nicely and he can walk properly again. You can see the tumor on his leg growing again, but it doesn’t seem to be hurting him. And every time we passed another dog, Dante perked up and wanted to play with them. It was nice seeing him act like his old self again.

Before I knew it, my parents drove me back over to my work so they could continue the drive to San Diego (it should only take 2 hours from my work, but it ended up taking them 4). But before they left, we exchanged Hanukkah presents. I got my mom tinted lip balms (I use them and she tried mine and liked it when we were at my brother’s wedding). And when my dad was visiting me a few weeks ago, he mentioned that he needed to buy a new belt. Right after my dad left, I got an Uncommon Goods catalog and saw this belt that was made out of recycled bike tubes. So I got him that and I think he loved it! I also got my brother and sister-in-law presents but I haven’t giving them their gifts yet so I can’t share what they are.

And my parents got me noise canceling headphones! I had mentioned after flying to and from Hawaii that my ear buds weren’t that great on the plane. I could barely hear my movies and that I really should invest in better headphones. I’m so excited to have my new headphones and I’m planning on using them on my flight home soon!

Even though I only got to spend a few hours with my parents, it really revitalized me. I got to see that my mom and my dog are doing great. And it helped me get over the weirdness that I felt over Thanksgiving. I’ll be seeing my family again in about 2 weeks and that time I’ll get to see them for a few days. I’m already looking forward to that!

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Posted in Family, Food, Fun Stuff

Tagged cancer, dog, family, Los Angeles, lunch, San Diego, visit

Catch Up Time (or A Blog With Lots Of Random News)

Posted on November 22, 2013 | Comments Off

Time for a little bit of catching up on life.

First of all, a little bit of news about my dog, Dante. My parents took him to the dog oncologist yesterday. It wasn’t necessarily bad news, but it wasn’t good news either. Basically, right now we are waiting for his leg to heal from his surgery before we do anything else. He’s also getting a new pain medicine to hopefully help him sleep more at night (right now he’s been waking up a lot at night and waking up my parents too). And to help him eat a bit more, he’s also getting a steroid.

I’m starting to feel a bit more normal in my routine after my crazy weekend, but I know that with next week being Thanksgiving and having several days off of work, my brain will be more confused about what day it is next week. But I’m trying to get back into everything that seems to be normal to me. Somehow, I’ve been forgetting to check my daily affirmations in the morning, so I’ve started doing that again. And I do feel a difference in my attitude and how I feel when I do them.

And this weekend is the Beverly Hills Shorts Festival, the film festival that I am running! Tonight is the opening night party and tomorrow will be all the screenings. If you are in the LA area and want to come to the festival, we are selling tickets at the door. I’d love to have some blog readers there to see the amazing films that we have chosen for the festival this year! While I’m a bit nervous about running the festival alone for the first time, I’m still super excited about my new title. And when I got a box of supplies from one of the other co-directors, I couldn’t help but be super excited when I saw my badge.

I promise to recap my experience running the film festival next week! Hopefully everything goes smoothly!

That’s my recap of life for now. I hope that you all had a great week before Thanksgiving week! And hopefully I’ll see a couple of you at the film festival this weekend!

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Posted in Acting, Family, Fun Stuff, Tough Stuff

Tagged Beverly Hills, cancer, dog, film festival, recap

Feeling Jet Lag Without A Time Zone Change (or Back To Home)

Posted on November 21, 2013 | Comments Off

After my 24 hour visit home, I was back to my usual routine in LA. But everything felt off.

It was weird that on Thursday night I was sleeping in my own bed (with no visitors), on Friday night I was sleeping in my own bed (with my dad sleeping in the living room on an air mattress), on Saturday night I was sleeping in the guest room at my parents’ house (my old room is now a gym), and on Sunday night I was back to sleeping alone in my own house.

I felt jet lagged like when I was in Hawaii earlier this year. When I woke up on Monday, I was really confused. I couldn’t figure out what day it was or what time I had to be at work (I’m lucky that Monday is a late shift day). And then when I got to work on Monday, my boss wanted to know how my visit with my dad went. So I ended up telling him about Dante and how my dad and I went home.

I tried to be totally normal at work, but just after my lunch break at 4:30, I checked in with my mom. I wanted to know how Dante was, and of course I ended up crying on the phone. I spent some time calming down after the phone call, but my boss and co-workers had noticed that my eyes were red and my mascara was underneath my eyes. While I’m still looking for a new job that is better for me, I’m very grateful that my boss is sympathetic to what’s going on right now and he’s told me if I need any random days off that I can take them off with no question.

I’ve also got the film festival that I’m running coming up this weekend so that’s been keeping me busy (and making the days seem to blend together and not helping with the jet lag feeling).

Today, my parents are taking Dante to the dog oncologist. The appointment is around noon, and I’ve asked them to call me as soon as the appointment is over. We will have a better idea of what the future will be like for Dante then. So while I’ve asked so many times for positive thoughts already for my mom, if you can send some positive thoughts to my dog as well today I’d really appreciate it.

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Posted in Family, Tough Stuff, Work

Tagged cancer, dog, home, job, travel, work

24 Hour Visit Home (or Another Cancer Patient In The Family)

Posted on November 20, 2013 | Comments Off

The original plan for my dad’s weekend in LA was for him to stay until Sunday night. We had a full weekend planned with the concert on Friday, spin class on Saturday, and we were going to check out a couple of museums on Sunday.

But the night before my dad flew down here, he called me with some bad news. My dog, Dante, was diagnosed with a blood vessel cancer and it was pretty advanced. The vet wasn’t sure if Dante would make it that much longer, so my dad wanted to see if I wanted to come home last weekend. After some debating, it was decided that my dad would come down here and then he and I would fly back home on Saturday after spin class and then I would come back to LA on Sunday evening so I could make it to work on Monday.

On Thursday, my dog had a surgery on his leg to remove blood clots (the blood vessels in his leg burst and made his leg very swollen). He wasn’t eating after his surgery and was not really able to walk. When I picked up my dad on Friday, the situation was seeming very grim. Dante still had not had food and he was acting pretty out of it.

But by Friday afternoon, one of our neighbors brought over some wet dog food for Dante to try (my mom couldn’t leave Dante alone to go to the store) and he finally ate something. Later on Friday, my mom emailed me this picture of Dante looking a bit more like his usual self.

He still wasn’t really able to walk too well, but that probably had a lot to do with the giant compression bandage on his leg.

On Saturday, before my dad and I got home, Dante got his big bandage taken off. His incision still has a bunch of stitches (that have to stay in until Thanksgiving), but he was able to walk a lot more. Once my dad and I got home, he was walking a little bit through the house, but since he had just taken a pain pill, he was a little drugged out.

On Sunday, we took him for a little walk outside in the neighborhood to help stretch his leg and to make sure that he stays strong. We usually take him around this one particular long block near our house, and when we got to that corner, he tried to turn the direction that we usually go. So even though he was still limping and walking funny, I felt better seeing that he wanted to just do what is normal to him.

It was tough to leave Dante on Sunday evening. We really don’t know what the future holds for him. My parents are taking him to a dog oncologist this week and we should have a better idea of what we will do then. And even if the oncologist says that he doesn’t have much longer, that doesn’t mean it’s true. There are miracles out there. One of the dogs that is part of the pet therapy program that my mom runs (and Dante is practically the mascot of) had a form of bone cancer and his owner was told that his dog only had 6 months left. That was over a year ago.

But for now, my family is focused on making Dante as happy as possible and giving him the best quality of life we can (which for now means only wet dog food and people food, no more kibble for him). I’m hoping that I will get to see Dante again when I go home next month, but for now, I’m just grateful that my parents paid for me to go home for one day just so I could be with my dog.

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Posted in Family, Tough Stuff

Tagged cancer, dog, family, flying

5K #8 (or I Conquered The Big Hill)

Posted on November 12, 2013 | Comments Off

This past Sunday was 5K #8, the weSPARK 5K at Universal Studios. This was my 3rd year doing this race, so I felt pretty prepared for it. This was also the end of my crazy 2 weeks doing 3 5Ks.

On Saturday after my work shift, I drove out to the valley to pick up my race number.

I noticed while I was picking up my number that the race course was different from the past 2 years. This year, I wouldn’t get to walk past Bates Motel/House (where I worked at Halloween Horror Nights for 3 years). There was also some changes to the giant hill. The start/finish in the past were right next to the hill, so you went down it at the start of the race and up it at the very end. This year, the hill was toward the end of the course. You went up it and immediately down it toward the finish line. Also, in the past there was a flat street that you walked on in the middle of the uphill, this year it was during the downhill.

I was a little annoyed by the course changes, but since I knew this course had the hill, I wasn’t planning on worrying about my time so much this race. I got my PR a week prior and this time all I wanted to focus on was taking one break on the uphill (the last year I took 2 breaks).

The morning of the race was very cold, but bright and sunny.

I knew it would warm up quickly so I wasn’t wearing a sweatshirt or long-sleeved shirt. Before I knew it, the different groups were getting organized by the starting line. I found the area for 5K walkers and got a quick before picture in.

The race this year started by going next to the LA River. It isn’t very pretty, but it’s relatively flat. Next we went past Amblin/Dreamworks. There were security guards yelling at everyone that there were no pictures allowed, so I couldn’t get a picture of the E.T. crossing sign like last year.

Next, we headed to the backlot sets. We went past the courthouse from “Back To The Future” and there was one of the DeLorean out there for a photo-op. There was a huge line, so I took a photo while walking past it.

We did more walking around the backlot and sound stages (I was focused on walking and didn’t take any pictures for this part). And before I knew it, the giant hill was approaching.

It starts out like this.

You go around a corner and think you are getting close and then there are about 4 sections that look like this.

It was a much longer hill than the past years (due to not walking through the Bates Motel/House section). We also walked up to the top of the hill instead of stopping toward the top where the finish line used to be. My hips were killing me and I was pretty out of breath, but I kept going. And before I knew it, I saw where everyone was turning around. I seriously appreciated the cheering section at the top of the hill by the water station. I turned around to go back down the hill without ever taking a break!

On the way back down, I noticed a golf cart heading by me. Lea Thompson, who was the celebrity who started the race, was in the back of the cart and waved right at me. Of course I took the opportunity for a picture while I walked behind her.

I’m kind of curious to see how the official race that was taken at this moment will look.

We walked through the little Europe section and I knew I had to be close to the finish line. I looked at my watch at realized that I was going to finish either right at or right under an hour. That’s significantly faster than I though I could do with the hill.

Finally, I made it to the end! My watch said 59:37, but I know that I started it a little early and stopped it a little late. So I went over to where the printed official race results were posted (which, by the way, I love that this is being done at the race now).

59:27! Another 5K in under an hour! It’s only about a minute slower than the Hard Rock Cafe 5K and that one was on a very flat course!

I got a quick victory photo with my medal.

I’m so happy that I got 5K #8 done and with an amazing time! My next (and probably last) 5K for the year isn’t for a few weeks, so I have time to recover and hopefully get a bit faster. But for now, here’s to #8!

By the way, there’s still some time to help me reach my fundraising goal for this race! Donations are being accepted though the end of this month!

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Posted in Celebrations, Fitness, Fun Stuff

Tagged 5K, cancer, race, walking, weSPARK

Tag Archives: cancer

Enough With Being Sick (or Holy Moly I’m Craving Exercise)

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Home Again (or Missing Dante)

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Goodbye Dante (or An Obituary For My Beloved Dog)

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Countdown To Saturday (or I’m Actually Excited To Get On A Plane)

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What Will Happen In A Week (or Why I’m Excited And Scared To Go Home)

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Quick Family Visit (or My Extra Long Lunch From Work)

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Catch Up Time (or A Blog With Lots Of Random News)

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Feeling Jet Lag Without A Time Zone Change (or Back To Home)

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24 Hour Visit Home (or Another Cancer Patient In The Family)

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5K #8 (or I Conquered The Big Hill)

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