Tag Archives: burnout

Keeping My Calm (or So Much At Once)

Posted on July 30, 2021 | Comments Off on Keeping My Calm (or So Much At Once)

Even though I just have posted about new job stuff and how I will be working more hours, this post has nothing to do with that even if it seems so. I actually haven’t made any changes just yet, so it’s probably better that I’m having this happen before it does.

I have a problem with being overscheduled, busy, and stressed and then swinging hard in the other direction and being bored. And right now, I’m in a time of being busy. And it’s just the way that everything happened to fall and not something I could have prepared for. I’m trying to stay calm and remember that I don’t have to do everything myself and it’s ok to ask for help. But it’s hard to do that when I want to feel capable and not held back.

Work stuff has been crazy lately, but that might actually be easier when I’m working more hours. I try to clear all the work before my shift ends, and soon I will have twice the time to accomplish that. I don’t want to rush because that’s where mistakes can be made, but I always feel bad if there are things I didn’t get a chance to take care of when my shift ends and someone else’s begins. And I’m aware that I take on a lot more of the work because I handle all the overnight stuff, but I still don’t want the person doing the second half of the day to have anything left when we switch even though they have said it’s ok if that happens.

At my other customer service job, things have been crazy just because that’s how this time of the year goes. We also are almost fully open with about half the staff. So that’s tough for us all and I only am working minimal hours there. So I know I’m lucky but at the same time I still want to get everything done since I am not the person in the morning and don’t want the others to have to do work I couldn’t get to.

And I’m in the middle of election season for my union. This is stressful to go through but so rewarding. And in the past I had a bit more free time to work on things. There’s also the added change with not doing anything in person and having much more done online, which makes my job a bit more than in the past. But I’m working on my time management as much as I can so I have the time to do all my responsibilities or realize early enough that I need help so someone else can jump in.

And I’m sure the fact that it’s been very hot here recently and I’m pretty isolated in my house isn’t helping. I’m not going out and being social outside of my workouts and the rare hangout with a friend. I know I need to take mental health breaks, even if they are just something inside my house. I need to make sure I don’t hit burnout because I know that it will affect me harder than normal when I don’t have ways to mentally escape.

I know that this is temporary and I will likely be feeling bored again. But until that happens, I just have to take care of myself and make sure that these extreme moments don’t become too hard for me to get through.

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Posted in Acting, Tough Stuff, Work

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Wishing For A Vacation (or Finding My Own Time Off)

Posted on July 26, 2019 | Comments Off on Wishing For A Vacation (or Finding My Own Time Off)

I wrote about how I hit burnout recently. I’m getting much better from that low point and I’m glad I’m not feeling how I did when I wrote that post. Weirdly, it’s good that right now I’m experiencing nausea because it forces me to slow down and do a lot of nothing. It’s not really a great break from things since I’m feeling awful, but it does allow me to relax a little bit. And I’ve been trying to take advantage of the downtime that I’m being forced to have.

Since I’m only working one job right now, I do tend to have free time between customers. I’ve been enjoying watching shows that I have been meaning to catch up on or playing lots of random games on my phone. Anything that is a distraction from work has been nice when sometimes I only have 2 or 3 customers to help over a 7-hour shift. I do need another job, but I needed to give myself a break and enjoy a little bit of time that isn’t as crazy as it has been.

And I have been thinking about why I’ve been needing this break and I think I have thought of something. For so much of my life, there have been set breaks in my schedule. When I was in school, there were school breaks in the summer and for different holidays. When I was working at the Broad Stage, we had a little break in the off season. And most people who work full-time jobs get time off so they take vacations or take time off occasionally. But I don’t really have any of that now. Each week is the same as the week before and there isn’t much change for me in the day to day work that I do. Time blends a lot and I don’t have a big event or break to look forward to.

I have been able to take the occasional weekend away and I’m so grateful for those. But it’s been a long time since I’ve had a significant time off of work. And even longer since I’ve had a big trip. I know both of those ideas aren’t a reality for me right now because I can’t afford a trip nor can I afford to be unpaid to take time off. I just have to find my time off in other ways and that’s what I guess I’ve been trying to do with watching shows between my customers.

I wish I could do more with the fake time off I have, but I’m tied to my computer. I guess I could work from somewhere else because I have done that, but there’s nowhere else I really could work from right now that wouldn’t make things a bigger issue. I just have to find how to maximize what I can and it is limited. But at least it’s something and I don’t have to be stuck somewhere miserable every day or have a job that doesn’t allow for any breaks. I’m very lucky with the job I have even if I don’t get time off or vacation time (we basically only get Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years Days off).

I know that I’m complaining about things that are not that bad and that many people have it much worse than I do. I think my opinion is a bit skewed because of the lives a lot of my friends live. Many of them make 4 or 5 times what I make and they get paid time off, so they have the ability to travel and I am a bit jealous. I know that if I decided to give up on acting I could probably find a job that pays me significantly more and I could do the same. Right now, acting is still more important than money and travel although I do hope that one day I can have all of it. I am aware of the choice that I made and while right now it’s not making me completely happy it is still making me happier than I would be without acting in my life.

I think that all the random time off stuff I’ve been doing at home has played a bit part in helping me feel more like me as quickly as it has been happening. I have been allowing myself to be selfish and that has allowed me to have some more fun in my life when I probably should be doing more serious things. But sometimes I need that break and it has to be while I’m working since I don’t have a vacation or a complete break from my work.

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I Tried, I Still Hit Burnout (or Finding Some New Limits)

Posted on July 19, 2019 | 1 comment

It was only a few days ago when I wrote about having to not go to plans that I was looking forward to and needing to be selfish so I could prevent burnout. I had hoped that recognizing it when I did would help me not get to the point where I needed a real break and that I could take the time I needed to recover. But of course, plans don’t always go the way you expect and you can’t always help what happens.

After I wrote that post, I had a lot of things that hit me back to back that just got me to a bit of a breaking point. First, we are now experiencing the heat of summer. Things are so much better for me now than they were before since I have my little a/c unit, but they still aren’t perfect. I did finally get over my fear of the cost of a/c since I know the unit I have isn’t as bad as most, so I do run it a lot during the day now without worrying about the cost. I know my power bill will be higher, but it’s worth it. When I have to sit at my computer for a full work shift, my computer starts to get hot and that makes me even warmer than normal. As soon as I am done with work, I go to my room to lay in front of my fan. That helps me recover, but it’s still not easy while I’m working. It’s also affecting my sleep right now, which isn’t helping me recover each night. But I’m doing whatever I can to try to stay cool, including drinking more water than normal which I know has more benefits than just cooling me down.

I also am starting to deal with my monthly pain and nausea. I will say it’s not as bad as it has been recently, but I think the combination of that plus the heat is making it feel worse to me. I’m trying to do all the things I know that help me feel better and most of them are working. The one that I am not doing right now is using a heating pad. I don’t necessarily feel like I need a heating pad right now, but even if I did I don’t know if I could tolerate it with the heat we have right now. I guess I should be grateful that I don’t feel like I need it, but I am just feeling so irritable right now that the pain and nausea are just annoying me.

I think the final thing that made me hit a point of burnout was some work-related stuff that happened. Nothing too horrible happened, but several issues required more time than it should have taken or needed me to repeat the same task multiple times because of random errors that were not able to be fixed by me. It was overwhelming waiting to see if I had to do something over again and waiting on others to fix the mistakes. Just like with my pain and nausea, I don’t know if this would normally bother me, but with it compounding with everything else it just hit me hard. After that, I hit a real low point and just had to have some time to be a hermit at home.

I did take a bit of time to myself yesterday and canceled some plans that I had made for a date (I wasn’t super excited about the date so this was a good excuse to cancel). I stayed home with the a/c on and just watching dumb videos on YouTube or reading. I’m still not feeling totally like myself just yet and I’m being cautious about what I plan. I wanted to not get to this point because I knew recovering from it was going to take time that I don’t have. Unfortunately, due to circumstances out of my control, I got there and now I need to take the time to fix it. I know it could get worse, and I’m doing everything I can to stop that. I have set new limits with myself and with others so I don’t get too overwhelmed. I also keep reminding myself that so much of what I’m dealing with is a temporary situation and will be over soon. That thought does help.

I have some fun things coming up over the next few weeks, but they are more spread out than things were the past few weeks. I’m finding what I can take off of my schedule to allow myself more downtime and more time to mentally and physically recover from things. And I do hope that these efforts I am making will help me get back to the normal me soon. All I can do is try and hope for the best. And maybe having that hope will help make it become a reality.

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