Tag Archives: books

Not Sure How I Did With My Last Monthly Challenge (or Another Attempt At NaNoWriMo)

Posted on November 1, 2019 | Comments Off on Not Sure How I Did With My Last Monthly Challenge (or Another Attempt At NaNoWriMo)

When I set my monthly challenge for October to be working more on my acting career, I was so excited about the things I had in mind. I had some things in mind that were bigger plans that I knew would be things I would need to save up for, but there were several things I knew I could work on. And honestly, I don’t really know how much I succeeded or failed at my challenge.

I knew that I would have the convention and that would be a big acting related event. And it did help my career in many ways, but my plan was to try to do more than just that. I wanted to do some research into classes, work on organizing things to be ready when I have auditions, and schedule and hopefully take new headshots. And I did a little bit of research work (part of that includes my tv research), but I didn’t do a majority of what I wanted to.

I don’t want to make excuses for myself, but I know why this didn’t happen. First, I was dealing with money issues and that made me hesitant to plan for anything that would require money. I also didn’t expect to be as tired after the convention as I was and that took a lot out of me. Part of being tired (and another reason why I didn’t do much for my career) had to do with my grandma passing away. I’m grieving this loss very differently than I expected and I think part of that has been that it hasn’t fully hit me yet. When my grandpa passed away, I was with my family a few days later. When I have had friends pass away, it felt more real because of how I had been staying in touch with them. This time, I don’t know if it will fully hit me until Thanksgiving. But for the past few weeks, I’ve been just having this weird feeling that is almost like I have a bit of grief and sadness affecting other things. I’m ok and nobody needs to worry about me about being depressed or anything. This is just how I am processing it and it wasn’t what I thought it would be.

Obviously, working on my acting career is a challenge that isn’t going to stop just because it’s a new month. I need to work on this and keep working on this. I still want to accomplish the things I had in mind for last month, so I will keep making plans and trying to get them done. I do still have the same financial restrictions for now, but planning can be done without spending money. And for the things that will require money, I can take steps towards those too.

And for my monthly challenge this month, I’ll be repeating one I’ve done in November before. I’ll be working on writing a book. I’ve stopped working on the book about online dating that I was working on in the past because I didn’t like how it was coming together. And a few months ago, I had the idea to change the book to be more about life lessons I’ve been learning from online dating. I’ve been working on notes and organizing ideas for what these lessons are so that I could be ready to start working on the new book. And I’m planning on working on it this month.

I still do not think I will have a finished first draft for the book after the month is done because I don’t know if the book is done yet. I know that I will have more stories from online dating that haven’t happened yet, so I will want to add those as they do happen. But I want to get each section that I’ve got notes on right now written during the month. I don’t know if I want to work on one lesson/chapter each day that I write or just try to work a bit every day. I’m allowing myself to be flexible and see how it works best for me.

I feel much better about working on the book this time because I do have notes that help me see the flow of how the book can go. I have shifted lessons around so that it makes more narrative sense to me. And I’m excited to be able to write down some of the crazier stories that weren’t going to be in other versions of the book because they weren’t substantial enough. But now, I can’t put a bunch of stories together in one lesson if they work that way. I can’t wait to see what happens as I write and what I might be inspired to edit and change as I work on it.

I do also have an idea for a fiction book about dating that I have notes on, but I don’t have the same pull to work on it as I do with my life lessons book. I also think reflecting on the lessons I’ve learned will be a good thing for me and will remind me that even though dating hasn’t been going the way I wanted it to that I am getting some good things out of it.

Hopefully, when I do my update after the month is done I will have some great things to share about how the writing went. I have high expectations for myself since this is not the first time I have tried working on this. I know how I didn’t succeed before and want to make sure I don’t repeat those mistakes. And even though this book will still be a work in progress after the month is over, I want to feel like I’ve gotten a lot of work on it done and that it’s more of a book than a bunch of ideas.

Good luck to anyone else doing NaNoWriMo this month! I hope you get everything out of it that you are hoping for!

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So Much Entertainment So Little Time (or Scheduling Leisure Time)

Posted on September 26, 2019 | Comments Off on So Much Entertainment So Little Time (or Scheduling Leisure Time)

I have written in the past about how I try to watch at least 1 episode of every show on tv. That used to be a much easier task. While there were a lot of new shows at the beginning of the fall tv season, it was a limited time and I was able to work through all the shows. Now, while the beginning of the fall tv season is when most of the new shows start, it’s not just happening then. And even the time that new shows premiere in the fall is longer. It seems like every week there is something new to watch and it’s becoming harder to stay on top of things.

This year, I think things got crazier for me because my schedule has been busy. I’ve had a lot of other time commitments and other things I go to in the evening. So I’m not home as much to watch tv and I don’t necessarily have time to watch shows between customers as I have before. I know this is a really stupid problem, but it is a problem when I have a way that I prepare for things that I’m used to.

The new tv season really started this week, so there have only been a few days of new shows. But I already feel very behind. I haven’t watched any new shows yet and some of the shows that I watch regularly are still sitting on my DVR. There are some shows that are more of a priority for me to watch the night they come out, so it is helping me decide if there are shows that I might want to stop watching. If I don’t care enough to watch them right away, I probably could just wait until I don’t have other things to watch and catch up on Hulu or Netflix. I do have a bit of hesitation to delete series recordings, but I’m working on being ok with that and not following shows the way I used to.

But it’s not just tv that I’m not catching up on. I love to read and I take advantage of e-books from the library for my Kindle all the time. It’s really helped me cut back on spending because I rarely buy books anymore (but I do recommend that my library buys them so I feel like I’m still supporting authors a bit). I put lots of books on hold because they usually don’t become available all at once. Until they did last week. 6 books I had on hold were available and I downloaded them all because I wanted to see if I could read at least a majority of them. But I don’t know if I’ll have time to read 6 books in 3 weeks.

If it was only the tv scheduling or reading scheduling, I think I could get it all done. But I have to decide what I will do in the evening when I have free time: read or catch up on tv. I’ve been trying to find the balance to do both, but I know it’s not really possible. Every day that I’ve tried to do both I usually don’t really get much of either done or I fall asleep reading or watching tv and then have to pay attention to it a second time.

So I’ve been working on scheduling my tv time and reading time so I set aside the time to do it and not have other things I have to work on. I’m aware how stupid this probably sounds, but since I view watching tv as research, it’s important that I set aside time for it. And while I don’t have to read, it is something that makes me really happy and I feel off when I don’t read at least a little bit each day. And scheduling my entertainment time also makes me find time to relax and not do other work things. It’s so easy for me to not stop working since I work at home. I need to remember to stop work at some point and focus on something else. So scheduling fun time is helping.

I know that once I catch up with the new tv shows and with my library books, there will be more shows to watch and books to read. But hopefully it won’t all come at me at one time so I can spend more time with each thing. But for now, I just have to schedule things so I can get through them and make sure I feel prepared for any auditions I might get for new tv shows and get through at least some of my library books.

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Yet Another Book Rewrite (or Letting My Blog Posts Inspire Me)

Posted on June 11, 2019 | Comments Off on Yet Another Book Rewrite (or Letting My Blog Posts Inspire Me)

I’ve written several times about the book I’ve been working on about online dating. I’ve also written about how I’ve worked on different versions because I wasn’t sure if what I had previously done was right.  I started with the book in 3 sections: guys I’ve gone out with that were decent people, guys that were horrible people whether or not I met them in real life, and the cheaters I caught. Then I decided I wanted to change that up and write the book chronologically because some of the stories only made sense when it was put into the proper timeline. I’ve been going back and forth on those two versions for a while and I never was 100% sure it was right.

I was so conflicted on which version I wanted that I had to stop working on it for a bit. Then I was inspired to work on a novel inspired by online dating (but it would be a work of fiction). I haven’t done much with the novel except doing a brief outline of what the plot points would be along with a few style ideas which are needed because of the idea I have with that book. I’m not feeling a huge push to work on it and I think I’ll probably use it for NaNoWriMo this year. I think working on a piece of fiction would be easier than something that is about my real life because I don’t have to wait to figure out what will happen next. I can make it up and I don’t have to depend on having more dates.

And I think waiting is one of the reasons I’ve been struggling with my original online dating book. I have said since I started it that I didn’t know how it would end. I would love it to end with the story of the guy I end up with, but I have no idea when that will happen and I don’t love the idea that the story needs to end like that. Not everything has to end with a happy ending and I want it to accurately represent where I am in life. Maybe when I finally finish it I will be with my forever person, but if I’m not I don’t want to feel like things are incomplete.

I stopped working on that book a little while ago although I have been adding notes about stories I wanted to include. But I haven’t felt the motivation to work because of the fear that until I know the ending that I can’t work on it. But I have inspired a little bit ago about yet another version of what this book could be and it finally doesn’t seem to require a real ending. And the inspiration kind of came from the blog posts I write about online dating.

Sometimes I do write general online dating posts on here and funny stories. But I also write about lessons that I’ve learned from the various dates and experiences I’ve had. And while I feel like the crazy stories are fun and entertaining, the lessons I’ve learned are probably so much more important. I’ve discovered so much about myself through these dating experiences. I’ve learned what I want, what I’m willing to tolerate, what I deserve, and what I believe. I know that dating isn’t always like this for people, but for me it really has been a journey in self-discovery. Even in the moments of pain and when someone breaks my heart, I am able to learn something from that experience and I want to believe that I am a better person because of those lessons.

Not every guy I was writing about in previous versions of my book are life lessons, but many of them are. Some of the guys can be grouped into one lesson and some guys have multiple lessons. But I feel like there is a great way to organize these lessons where it doesn’t require a specific pattern or even a conclusion. They can just be a collection of stories and what I learned about myself and it doesn’t need me to have a story that is about how I fell in love, got married, and had my happily ever after. It would be great to have that story, but that’s not what I feel this book needs to be about. It’s not about how I met my perfect guy, it’s about my experience dating. And having it about the lessons allows me to focus on that instead of the overall journey.

I’ve only started working on this new version, so I don’t have much done. But just getting the lessons down and connecting which guys represent which story has given me a lot of clarity about what this book could be. And I have shared the idea with a few friends and I think they agree that this is a better idea if I want to possibly publish the book. The funny and crazy stories might only connect with people who know me in real life. But life lessons should be able to connect with those outside my social circle and might be something that others would be interested in reading.

I know I have written before how I feel like I finally found what this book should be and I keep changing it. But I do feel like this is a bit different. I almost have a sense of relief and peace with the idea and feel less pressure that I don’t have to rely on what dates may happen in the future to figure out if the book is done. And even if I change things up again and decide that this is not the right version, I think this will actually benefit me quite a bit. There are still some situations I’ve been in where I haven’t figured out the lesson just yet. This will force me to look at what happened and try to see what I can learn. And those new lessons will just keep helping me become the best version of myself.

Hopefully one day this book is done and I can share it with the world. I know my dating experience isn’t necessarily the most unique, but there are people who haven’t gone through what I have gone through and I’d love to be able to share what I have learned and what I know with them.

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Revisiting Old Characters and Stories (Or A Journey Of Re-Reading Books)

Posted on May 2, 2019 | Comments Off on Revisiting Old Characters and Stories (Or A Journey Of Re-Reading Books)

I have always loved to read. I learned to read at an early age and I was a voracious reader as a kid. I remember reading in bed when I was probably 4 or 5 years old and having a pile of books next to me that I had read that night. I briefly didn’t do much fun reading when I was in college, but I’ve become a huge reader again as an adult. I’m so lucky that the library has free Kindle books because I could easily spend thousands of dollars a year in books.

One of my favorite things is when I discover an author I didn’t know before and I learn that they had an entire book series already or have written lots of books. I love when I find someone new to me and there is an entire collection of books I can work through. It’s so fun when I know the next 5 or 6 books I’ll be reading because I want to read everything that someone has written.

I also love when an author I already know and enjoy has a new book coming out. I usually recommend the books to the library so I will be one of the first ones on the wait list for it. There are a few authors where I buy their books instead of getting them from the library, but I try to limit how many books I buy since they can add up quickly. I know I should support authors I love by buying their books, but I at least am recommending that my library buys the books and I also am supporting the public library system. One day, if I don’t have to worry about money, I will buy all the books I want and I’ll probably go back and buy the books I have already loved. But that isn’t my financial situation right now.

And I have also always enjoyed re-reading books. I like going back to a book I’ve already read and see if there is something different that I pick up that I didn’t notice the first time around. Or I like to see how it connects to me at this point in my life versus when I read it before. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a book you can open to any page and just start reading and know everything you need to know about the story to that point.

Most of the books I read over and over again are books that I read for the first time as an adult. I sometimes will re-read a book within a year and sometimes I wait a bit longer. Sometimes I will read something again just because I don’t have anything else to read at the time, but more often than not I will pick to re-read something and it’s not the only option.

But lately I have gotten into a kick of reading books that I read for the first time when I was younger. They are mainly books that I read as a teenager although there are a few that I think I read for the first time when I was 11 or 12. It’s been a really fun journey going back to these books that I haven’t read in a decade or longer and seeing what I remember. Some books feel so familiar to me that it’s hard to believe that the first time I read them was over half my life ago. It’s crazy how much I remember from those books and how quickly the stories come back to me. It doesn’t bother me that I remember the stories because there are always parts that I forgot about that give me little surprises as I read. And some books have been updated to be more modern and I have to look online to confirm that they have changed the story a bit since the last time I read it.

I’m sure there is something that can be psychoanalyzed about me re-reading books I read when I was growing up. Maybe it is giving me a sense of control because I know what will be coming in the story. Maybe I am wanting to go back to a different version of myself. I know I have changed a lot in the past few years and I am not the same person that I was before. Sometimes it does surprise me how much I’ve changed but I feel like it has all been for the better. But that doesn’t mean that deep down in my mind I am hoping to go back to the old me.

Whatever the reason, I’m getting something out of revisiting these books and stories and it is filling my soul with something that I’ve needed. And thank goodness for the library having all these e-books because it really has made doing this so much easier!

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“Life…In A Word” (or A Wonderful Holiday Giveaway)

Posted on December 7, 2018 | 4 comments

I’ve written about my friend Kevin E. West before on here regarding the amazing actor group he created, The Actors’ Network. When I started at The Actors’ Network, I didn’t know Kevin but I got to know him over the years that I’ve been a member of the group. We had become friends and our friendship has only grown stronger over the years. He is one of the leaders of Union Working so we have continued to work together through that group (and I’m an admin for the Facebook group for The Actors’ Network). He is such an amazing friend and I love that we can be brutally honest with each other and I know that the honesty comes from a place of love.

Kevin has written some books on acting in the past and they have always been very helpful and full of great knowledge. I always recommend them to actors or people looking to buy books for actors. But more recently, Kevin has written a book that is not about acting and I highly recommend for everyone!

“Life…In A Word” is an amazing book that is like a dictionary for a selection of words. Each page is a different word with a short story that is an example of the meaning or definition. I loved that the stories weren’t a straightforward example and you sometimes had to read the entire short story to understand how it relates to the word. It made the book feel like a journey and exploration of what words really mean.

I love books like this that I can open up and just read a section of when I need inspiration or a mood booster. It’s something that I can turn to when I need a quick pick me up or want to escape whatever is happening and be in another universe, even if it’s just for a moment. And I can see this book being a wonderful conversation starter or self-help tool. I knew that Kevin is an amazing and insightful person, but this book really brought that to a new level for me. It really was an incredible read and my only wish was that it was longer (but I do believe there will be more books like this coming from him in the future).

And I’m so excited to share that I have a copy of “Life…In A Word” to give away to one reader on here! Not only do I have a copy of the book to give away, but it’s a signed copy!

As with my other giveaways on here, you can enter to win through the Rafflecopter section below. The required things to enter are to comment on this post if you want this book for you or if you want this book to give as a gift to someone else, to follow me on Twitter, and to follow Kevin on Twitter. You can also earn extra entries for follows on social media as well as bonus daily entries for tweeting about the giveaway!

I can’t wait for one of you to win this book! I’m sure you will love it as much as I do and I hope that for those of you who don’t win that you go to buy a copy of the book. It really is something I think everyone should read and that everyone will love it. There is so much variety in the book that everyone will find something that they connect with and will make it such a special addition to their personal library.

Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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NaNoWriMo Take 2 (or Still Working On The Same Book)

Posted on November 2, 2018 | Comments Off on NaNoWriMo Take 2 (or Still Working On The Same Book)

It’s November and just like last year I’m going to participate in National Novel Writing Month! Last year was the first year I did it and I used the month to work on my book on online dating. It was a great way for me to work on a project that seemed so overwhelming and scary. There is a goal to write a certain number of words over the course of the month, but I knew that I didn’t want to hold myself to that because this book is an ever-changing thing.

I got a lot done last year during NaNoWriMo and continued to work on my book every so often since then. I do try to add stories or at least notes after I have a date that I know needs to be in the book. I haven’t been working on it as seriously as I probably should have, but I also don’t feel a rush to finish it. I still wonder what the end or lesson of the book should be. I know it doesn’t need to end in something significant, but until I feel like I know what I want the reading to think at the end of the book I don’t know if it will ever be done.

Even though I haven’t been working on it that much, I know that I probably should have done more since many of my dates over the past 6 months haven’t really been written about beyond the notes I made. And for what feels like the millionth time, I have changed what I want the book to be like. I have gone back to my original plan to have each story a standalone story and to split the book up into good dates, bad dates (or just horrible guys online), and the cheaters I have encountered. I feel like it is a good way to organize things and makes the book more of a collection of stories versus something that needs a clear beginning, middle, and end.

I don’t know if NaNoWriMo is supposed to be for working on the same book year after year, but that’s what I’m using it for. When you sign up for the challenge each year, you are supposed to announce the book you are working on. I didn’t see an option to say that you are still working on the same book from the year before, so I named my book something that represents what’s happening for me.

I’m not planning on doing the different events that are happening during this month, so I’m not too concerned about if I am supposed to be working on the same book. And when I registered this year and it asked me to update my word count, I did put down how many words the book currently is at. So I look much more accomplished than I really am. But I am using this month as a tracking device for me. I love the idea of working with others to accomplish a goal, but I don’t think doing different challenges or trying to win swag for various reasons is right for me with what I’m trying to do. If I had a novel that I had an outline and grand idea for, maybe it would be different. But since this is the story of something that is currently happening to me, it’s not really fitting into getting it all done this month.

But even though my goals aren’t to challenge other people or to hit certain word counts, I do still have goals for this month. I do want to finish the stories of the guys I have gone out with that I know I will not be seeing again. Most of those are guys I went out with once or twice and I have no plans to communicate with them again. But there are still some stories that have not ended because things are still happening or changing, so with those stories I can’t really finish them. But I can make sure that those stories are as up to date as possible. I know that as things continue to change that I might have to edit my story, but I’d rather edit a story than have to write it all just because things aren’t over. And those changing stories are really just a small percentage. There are maybe 4 or 5 that I don’t think are totally over (not all of them are guys I’m still seeing, but their stories haven’t ended), and I have dozens of stories that are over. So those few can’t be an excuse for me to not work on the others.

I think the first time I did NaNoWriMo, I had much higher hopes for what I would be able to accomplish based on what other friends have done. But I’ve learned that my story isn’t the same as everyone else’s and I can’t stress to hit the targets that others are doing. I just need to be as consistent as possible and know that I am making progress. And maybe during this month I will find something out that makes me realize I have a way to end my story, but that’s not what I’m expecting to happen. But it would be nice to feel like this story is done and I can finish it.

But as long as I go out with guys that end up being super ridiculous stories, I’m going to write about them. Even if I never do anything with this book, I want to have these stories written down and saved. I might use them for a laugh in the future or inspiration for a script or another project. But I still think that one day turning this journey into a book would be a really fun thing to do and I’m keeping an open mind about it all!

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Continuing To Work On My Book (or I Wonder How Many Versions I’ll Have Before I Finish It)

Posted on August 23, 2018 | 2 comments

I’ve shared on here before about how I am going to write a book about online dating. My stories have been so ridiculous and my friends have loved hearing about them. After posting so many of them online, people were encouraging me to put them in a book and I started to think about that idea. And I decided to go for it last year.

Since I had that idea, I’ve worked on it on and off for a while. The original idea of the book would be that it would be a collection of stories. Each guy would have their own standalone chapter or story and it would just be all the stories in one place. I was going to split it up by the guys that I met, the guys I matched with and unmatched with them for various reasons, and the cheaters that I caught online. Having them as standalone stories made them pretty easy to write and I got most of the stories done when I was working on it last November.

But when I finished that, I realized how short the book was. I knew it could get longer because I was still doing online dating and having stories to share, but it still concerned me if I wanted to do anything with the book. But I didn’t focus too much on it at the time. Then after I went through an upsetting situation with a guy, I reconnected with a few guys who I had met in the past. After that situation, I realized that having each guy as their own story didn’t make as much sense because reconnecting with the guys that I had met previously was very connected to the situation that happened to me.

So then I started working on a version of the story that was more of a chronological story of dating. I had the idea to break my story in the seasons of the year because that seemed to be some nice and natural break points in the story. I didn’t get that far into writing that version when I realized that this idea wasn’t making as much sense to me as it did before. So many of the crazy stories that I had weren’t necessary in telling the story and they were better as standalone stories. Also, I really don’t remember when certain weird situations happened because I never met those guys (so I never put dates with them in my calendar).

There was a bit of time where I wondered if I should bother continuing writing the book, but I quickly squashed that negative thought. Even if I don’t do anything with the book, it has been helpful for me. It gives me a place to write down thoughts and decompress after bad dates or after things end with a guy that I liked. I know that some of the things I am writing will have to be edited out if I ever publish it, but it’s a nice place to get things out when I need to do that. Also, it makes me have a better mindset about the really bad dates I’ve had. The past few bad dates have been not as horrible as they could have been because I was sitting there thinking how great of a story for the book this date would be. It’s been a great way to get through things that could be miserable otherwise.

So I started to rethink the book again and now I’m on the third version of the book. As much as I’d like to say this is the last version, who knows what will happen. As of right now, my book is split into 2 sections. The first section is a chronological story of the more significant guys that I’ve gone out with. These are guys I’ve dated for a while, guys who have helped me learn something about myself, or guys that ghosted me or broke my heart. They all deserve to have their stories told together because they work together and you can see how one thing leads into the other.

The second part of the book (which I’m guessing will end up being a longer part than the first) will be standalone stories of the crazies I’ve met. Some of these guys are guys that I messaged with and never met because they revealed their true colors before we made plans and other guys are ones that I went on my worst dates with. There are a few guys in there that aren’t horrible people but are better as a standalone story, but in general this section of the book isn’t flattering for any of the guys I met. These are the stories that you hear as warning stories on why online dating can be bad.

I’ve been slowly working on the book this time around. Even though this is the third version of it, I’ve never finished any of the versions. The advantage I have now is that most of the standalone stories have already been written although I am going to go back and edit and rewrite them. Plus I’ve already had a few new stories to add to that section that I need to work on. But I don’t really have a timeline for finishing it. In a way, I don’t know if it can be finished until I’m in a relationship because then I will always feel like there will be more stories to add.

There’s no rush since I really have no plans for this book. If I end up trying to sell it, awesome. If it just becomes a document on my computer, that’s fine too. But I do like having it as a goal to work on as well as something that has been a useful tool in surviving the online dating world.

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So Much Reading (or Really Taking Advantage Of The Library)

Posted on August 2, 2018 | Comments Off on So Much Reading (or Really Taking Advantage Of The Library)

As you may have seen from recent posts of mine, things have been a bit weird for me. I’ve been going through some things and I know I’ll be through them soon enough. And fortunately, some of these issues have already started to resolve themselves and things are feeling a bit more normal again. It’s still not totally normal, but it’s so much better than it was just a week ago.

Whenever things are weird for me, I do try to find the moments of normal where I can. I’ve learned in therapy regarding my panic attacks that you focus on what is in front of you and real and hold on to that to get over the panic. And when things are weird, I find the normal things and hold on to those. This time of weirdness seemed like it was endless and I couldn’t find much to hold on to, but I was able to connect more than ever with reading and used that to work through things.

I’ve always been a big reader and I am always reading something. For longer than I would like to admit, I bought a ton of books. Even when I got my first e-reader I bought a lot of e-books since they were pretty inexpensive and way too easy to purchase. When I got my Kindle, I was in the same bad habit with buying books since it’s so simple. But when I got more serious about my financial situation, I realized book spending was the one I needed to cut back on and that’s when I got a new library card so I could take advantage of the library again.

I rarely go to the library near me to get physical books because I do love to read on my Kindle. I still love reading physical books, but my Kindle is really convenient and easy. And I don’t feel like it’s looking at a computer screen since it is a reading only Kindle and not the tablet type (like my iPad is). And the library e-book selection really is great and they have been good at getting the books I recommend. So even if the books I’m looking for are a part of their collection when I’m looking for it that moment, more often than not they will purchase it and then I can get the e-book.

I also love how it’s so easy to get a Kindle book from the library. If I’m in bed and finish a book I can just go to the library website to find a new book and have it sent to my Kindle instantaneously. We live in a world of instant gratification and this is one of the best examples of it. I have gotten close to the borrowing limits from the library, but I haven’t gone over just yet. I have a feeling it’s only a matter of time before that happens though.

It’s not always easy for me to find new books to read, but I do look at Kindle recommendations (I just don’t purchase the books) and there are a few different websites that share when new books are released or can recommend books based on other books you’ve liked. Lately I’ve discovered a few new book series that have been fun to read and I’ve been flying through them.

While things have been weird, I have done a ton of reading. It wasn’t just that I was loving what I was reading (although that is a part of it) but it really was just helping me feel centered and away from any issues I had been dealing with. It was my life-preserver for that moment and I think that reading is a pretty healthy one to have compared to what other people might turn to in moments of weirdness. It also helps that right now is the slow time at my work so I have been able to spend a lot of time during my work hours reading as well.

There have only been a few brief times where I wasn’t as big of a reader as I am now. My entire childhood was surrounded by books. So many life moments are remembered by what books I was reading at that time. In college I still read, but it wasn’t something I did every day and I think that had to do with how much reading I had to do in college. But in my last semester of college my class load was pretty much only 1 day a week so I had lots of free time and got back into reading. And since then my love of reading has only gotten stronger and stronger.

But now, I feel like my reading obsession is the strongest it’s ever been. I’ve found a new love for reading beyond just the act of reading. It helped me feel sane when I know that things could have been worse for me. It is my greatest act of self-care and I don’t know if I really considered reading self-care the way I do now. I’ve always considered it a habit that makes me happy and have it on my happiness checklist, but that feels like something different to me. I’ve never considered how good for my mental health reading could be and I’m so glad that I had it to turn to when I was struggling recently.

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Having A Book Nerd Moment (or The Little Things That Make Me Smile)

Posted on June 7, 2018 | Comments Off on Having A Book Nerd Moment (or The Little Things That Make Me Smile)

I’ve shared on here before about how I am a giant book nerd. I’ve loved to read my entire life and I never seem to be able to get enough reading. Thank goodness for the library because if I had to pay for all the books I read I would be spending thousands of dollars a year. I don’t read as much as I would like to every day, but I do read every single day at least in the evening before bed. But there are also days where I spend the entire day lost in books.

Because I read all the time, I read lots of books every year. Some of them I read and forget about because they aren’t super memorable, but fortunately most of the books I find are ones that connect to me somehow and they stick with me. I revisit books I’ve read previously from time to time because I always find something different in them. I also love the comfort I get from reading a familiar book when I’m not having the best day.

I do have some fun stories about book twists that have shocked me or books that made me cry when I wasn’t expecting it. But most of them are normal stories. But there has been one story that sticks out in my head when I think about funny stories about reading a book.

Years ago, when trying to find a book to read I would wander bookstores and find books that stick out to me. I literally was judging books by their covers, but it seemed to always lead me to fun books that I might not have picked out otherwise. I could spend hours looking at all the books and taking notes on what I wanted to read. And one of the books I found because the cover looked interesting was “Body Movers” by Stephanie Bond.

I brought this book with me to Tahoe to visit my parents (back when I had to pack my suitcase with actual books instead of having my Kindle) and I very clearly remember reading that book on that trip. I remember being close to the end of the book and reading on the couch while my dad was reading next to me. And without giving much away about the book, it ended on a cliffhanger and I was not expecting that. I had no idea that this was the first book in what was going to be a series and I couldn’t believe that I would have to wait to read the next one. I think it was about a year until the next book would be released.

I’m sure I looked crazy to my dad because I was ranting about how it sucked that this book was so awesome and then it ended on a cliffhanger. I couldn’t get over it and as soon as the next book came out I immediately got it and read it. Then I got the next one when it came out and the next one. Until last week, there were 9 books in the series (there were 8 main books and then a novella that fit into the story but wasn’t furthering the plot). And every time a new book came out, I was prepared that there would be twists and cliffhangers but that made me happy because then I knew there would be another book coming out.

Last week, the most recent book in the series came out and of course I read it right away. I was sucked back into the story right away and it was difficult to put the book down. Even that night when I was reading at bedtime I couldn’t stop reading. I really try to not stay up all night reading, but sometimes I can’t help it. And this book was one that was keeping me up.

And even though I had read so many other books in this series, when this book ended on a huge twist I was shocked. It was after 1am and I screamed out loud “are you kidding me?!?!?”. Of course, I immediately worried that I woke up one of my neighbors because I screamed pretty loudly. But I think everyone who lives near me was sound asleep and I didn’t wake them. I did have a good laugh because of how strong my reaction was. That’s clearly a sign of how good this book series is and how connected I am to it.

I couldn’t believe the twist and now I want to go back and reread all the previous books because I can read them with a different perspective on the story. And of course now I’m just waiting for the next book in the series to come out to see what happens next. While reading is one of my favorite things, to have a reaction like I did with these books is special and unique. And that just makes me so happy!

 

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A NaNoWriMo Update (or Maybe I Need More Dates)

Posted on November 29, 2017 | 2 comments

At the beginning of the month, I shared how I was going to participate in National Novel Writing Month. I was going to use the month to work on writing the book I planned on writing about my adventures in online dating. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed when the month started, but I figured that I didn’t have to hold myself to the daily goals of NaNoWriMo and just could work on a story every day.

I had been taking notes on the stories that I wanted to write and it seemed like it would take forever to get through it. But I felt better when I had the idea broken down into chunks and I decided that until I got started that it would continue to feel like a huge task. So I got started on the stories and fortunately they seemed to be easy to write and it didn’t take me too much time to get each story done. It was a bit fun to remember the crazy things that have happened to me. And it helped me reflect on how much I’ve grown as a person since I’ve put myself out there more and that I’m much stronger now than I was earlier this year.

I rarely worked on more than one story a day. It seemed better to focus on one a day and it allowed me to write the story and do some edits the same day. I didn’t have to spend too long working on it so it never felt like a task. But then I ran into a bit of a problem.

I ran out of stories to share! I could technically write about more horrible people, but I did try to lump in some of the smaller stories into a single story. There is no reason for me to write about each guy that called me fat or said something about how I was an item on the bucket list for types of girls they wanted to go out with. Those could be combined and that seemed to be the best thing for how the flow of the book was going.

There are still 2 stories I haven’t written. Both are guys that I’m still seeing a bit so I don’t know how things will end. And I don’t want to work on their stories too much yet because I think the tone of it will be based on what happens with them. If one of them says something horrible to me, I’ll be more suspicious of things leading up to that than I would be if things just end because they reach a natural end. One of those stories is probably going to be a longer one and the other may or may not be a longer one (it just depends on how many more dates I have with him).

But even if both of those stories are long ones, my book is pretty short. If I printed it without those stories, it’s only 50 pages long and that includes the cover and chapter page. That’s a tiny book and I know that if I ever want to do something with it the book probably needs to be longer. I have no idea if I will ever try to publish it, but I have had some screenwriter friends express interest in it to turn into a series or something else. But no matter what I do with it, I know that if I want it to be more than just something for me that I need it to be a more substantial book.

I could go back and try to expand stories. I’ve already started to do that and have gone through several edits on multiple stories. I know there is more that I can do, but I probably need to step away from it for a little bit before I can view it again with fresh eyes and new ideas.

Of course, the other idea is that I just need to go on more dates. I’m still not seeing someone seriously and unless one of the guys I’m seeing now ends up being someone who I end up being serious with (and that’s not necessarily going to be the case), I will have more dates in my future. I’ve been less active with the dating apps lately due to my schedule and the holidays. But I’m trying to get better at it again because I want to keep meeting new guys. I don’t like dating lots of different guys, but I know that I need to do that if I want to find someone to eventually marry. I don’t meet people at work (since I work from home) or in my workouts, so online dating really is the best way for me to meet new people.

Of course, if one of the guys I’m seeing now ends up being something serious, that’s fine and I’ll end the book that way. I don’t have to sell the book, but if I do I know I can always have it as a novella and it can be a short book. I don’t expect to sell this book and make a ton of money on it, so a novella is always an option.

But I don’t feel like my story is done yet. I think there are plenty of adventures still out there for me and when they do happen I know I’ll have to write them down. I’m glad I didn’t feel the pressure to stick with the NaNoWriMo targets and that this book is going to be something I continuously work on. I have what I hope will be a majority of it done so adding stories as they happen won’t feel as overwhelming to me anymore.

A year ago, I had no idea that all these adventures would happen to me. While some of them still make me mad, I know that they all happened for a reason. And I guess that reason for some of them is so I could turn the stories into a book. And one day, hopefully this will be something I can share with others and people will get some entertainment out of my adventures.

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