This past weekend was my niece Presley’s 2nd birthday. I was happy her birthday fell on the weekend because I was able to drive up for the day to celebrate with everyone. I wasn’t able to do that for her 1st birthday, but I still was able to go up the next day to be a part of a mini-celebration. But I was excited that I could be at her birthday party this time.
It was a small birthday party. The only non-family people there was another family that has 2 little boys around the same ages as my niece and nephew. But I think a bigger party might have been overwhelming for my niece, so a small party was perfect. And it was a really nice afternoon.
For most of the party, all 4 kids were busy playing with all the different toys my niece and nephew have. They have a few different little motorized toys, like garbage trucks and bulldozers. And they are still young enough that they weren’t turning them into bumper cars or anything. But what I think was one of the biggest hits was actually a gift I got my niece and nephew for Hanukkah this past year. I got them a mini-bounce house that was set up in the backyard. It was the perfect size for all the kids to play on it and they all kept going down the slide into the grass.
I’m so glad that my niece and nephew loved the bounce house since it can be tough to pick out good gifts for kids. But I had a good feeling that would be a hit and it was nice to see that it was!
Of course, since it was a birthday party, there were presents and cake (but cupcakes since it was a small party).
Opening all the presents was a bit overwhelming for Presley, so she opened most of them while I was there. But she did open the gift I got her, which was a little flower-building kit, while I was there and she did start playing with it right away. So I think that gift was another hit! I know that she has a lot of toys already, but I wanted to find something fun for her. I’ll probably try to find non-toy presents in the future, but it was fun to find something cute this time.
After a couple of hours, it was naptime for all the kids. So the other family headed home so their kids could nap and then my brother and sister-in-law worked on getting my niece and nephew down for their naps. Both kids were probably over-exhausted and were fighting a nap, but they went down after a bit of a fight. And when they were asleep, that was time for me to head out.
I could have stayed and hung out with my parents for a few hours, but I was going to see them again in a few days when they got to LA, so there really wasn’t a discussion or plan for me to stay in Santa Barbara through the afternoon. And I had things at home that I wanted to get done, so I was fine making the drive home so I could have the afternoon and evening to get things checked off of my errands list.
My nephew’s birthday is only about 6 weeks away, but since his birthday is on a weekday I’m not sure if I’ll make it to his party. I’ll just have to wait and see what day his party is planned for. I did give him his birthday present early since I didn’t want to have to ship it (and he wouldn’t really know the difference between getting it now or later). If I don’t make it to that party, I’m sure I’ll make it to Santa Barbara another time in the future. And I’m so glad that I was able to make it to Presley’s birthday party and have a nice family afternoon with everyone!
I’ve been celebrating my half-birthday for as long as I can remember. And I really doubt I will ever age out of celebrating it. I know it can seem like a childish thing to recognize, but I like having a bit of a checkpoint for myself. I do this with annual goals, but this also sets a separate checkpoint for myself when I’m halfway through an age. I don’t necessarily set goals for what I want to accomplish by each age, but it still gives me a chance to check in with myself and see how things have been going for me.
When I was younger, I definitely had ideas of where I wanted to be by certain ages. I had a bit of a tough time letting that idea go, but I think as I was getting closer to turning 30, I realized that those hopes I had for what would happen in my life just weren’t realistic for what was going on in my life. I remember being in high school and thinking I’d be married by 28 at the oldest. I’m glad I didn’t stick with that too much because the guys I dated in my 20s would not have made good husbands.
I think because so many of the ideas I had for my life were things that I expected to happen in my 20s, I really struggled with the idea of turning 30 for a while. It got easier as I got closer to that birthday, but I remember struggling with turning 28 and 29 as well because 30 was looming ahead and I was nowhere I expected to be in my life. It’s tough when you have all these ideas and expectations and none of them are happening by the random deadlines you set in your mind. It almost feels like you missed out on life or will never accomplish those ideas. And yes, some of the things that I thought I would do in my 20s are now things that I don’t necessarily want for my life, but I also have relaxed a lot more with the idea of things needing to happen by a certain age.
And I think because I have relaxed with those ideas, I’m not scared to turn 40 in 6 months. I’m actually excited about that birthday. It is a milestone birthday and I have no idea what exactly my life will be like in 6 months, but it’s still something big that I will celebrate even if it’s just on my own. I also think that aging doesn’t scare me as much as it used to. I have a lot of friends who are older than me, and I can get an idea of what my future holds. Turning 40 now is very different from turning 40 in past generations. And even though there is still a stigma with aging, I think that most people accept that 40 isn’t old anymore and that you can still have a lot of life to live after 40.
I’m going to enjoy the last 6 months of my 30s. Honestly, my 30s have been so much better than my 20s. It hasn’t all been easy, but I have been able to enjoy my life so much more in my 30s. I haven’t cared as much about what others think, so that allows me to live more freely. I have gained confidence that I never imagined I could have when I was younger. I don’t want to say I’m totally confident in my body and how I look, but I feel more in control of my appearance and I appreciate things in my body that I didn’t before such as my strength. I might do some things to feel younger like dye my hair, but that doesn’t mean I’m not proud of who I’ve become in my 30s.
If the last 6 months of my 30s are anything like the last 9 1/2 years, I’m sure they will be filled with a lot of awesome things. I know that there may be some heartache and pain, but I expect to finish out my 30s even more excited to turn 40 and see what my 40s will bring!
Posted onAugust 18, 2022|Comments Off on An Almost Free Dinner (or Continuing The Birthday Tradition)
I haven’t done a lot for my birthday this year and I don’t know if I’ll be doing much else. As I said before, I’m ok not celebrating as much as I used to, especially with how busy I’ve been with work and other things. But I do still like to celebrate and continue traditions when I can. And the tradition I look forward to the most is going to Truxton’s with my birthday twin, Joanna. We aren’t exactly sure how long we’ve been doing this, but we know it’s been at least 11 years, which is a pretty long time. And while we rarely can do our dinner on our actual birthday, we get it done within our birthday month.
2 years ago, we ordered take-out and had our dinner as a picnic since that was the safest way for us to have a meal. Last year, we were able to return to the restaurant and eat there. And this year, we continued with having dinner at the restaurant. If either of us felt uneasy about doing that, I know we could have done a picnic again. But I’m glad that eating there was an option for us. And because we went on a random weeknight, there was almost nobody else there so that helped us feel like things were a bit safer.
As we have done since the birthday deal changed to a dollar amount and not just a free entree and free dessert, we knew we’d order an appetizer to split, entrees for each of us, and a dessert to split. In the past, our meals have been completely free. And if we only ordered entrees we could have done that. But it’s ok that it’s not free anymore because we still get a total of $40 off of our bill, which is usually almost the entire thing.
We knew we wanted to have monkey bread to start, so we ordered that and ate it while we looked at the menu to figure out what else we wanted for dinner.
And once we ordered the rest of our meal, it was time for our catch-up chat. We had seen each other a few months ago when she helped me put together my bed. So there wasn’t as much to catch up on as there normally is when we get together for dinner. But we both had updates on our lives and our homes. When she was helping me with the bed, the renovation wasn’t done so I updated her on that. And she’s also going to do a renovation on her place so she updated me on that progress with planning everything and picking out what she wants. And as always, we had some gossip about dating and other random things that have been going on in our lives.
For our dinners, I had a burger and she had nachos. We’ve only had delicious meals at Truxton’s and we both really enjoyed our meals. But since we knew we’d be having dessert, we tried to save some room and not fill up too much.
We do like to give our server a heads up that we are using their birthday club coupons since sometimes they have to do the bill a different way (lately, they split the bill and then apply one coupon to each half to let us use both). So when our dessert was brought out, they put candles on it and sang Happy Birthday to us!
We got a new dessert, and I think we picked the perfect thing! It was a lemon cake with strawberry sorbet on top. It wasn’t too heavy, which we needed after a big meal, and it was so flavorful! I’m glad that’s what we picked because I think some of our favorite desserts would have been just too much for us.
Our meal wasn’t free, but it was pretty much under $10 for each of us so we could leave a really big tip. What we’ve been doing lately is tipping $20 each since that’s what our coupons take off the bill. So we spend the same amount we would have without the coupons, but that also allows us to leave a nice tip for our server and hopefully make their day a bit better. I love that we have always paid it forward because I know sometimes people who get a discounted meal tip on the discounted amount. We like to make up for that.
We were both really full after dinner, but it was worth it. This is one of the best birthday traditions and I think my birthday wouldn’t have felt complete without it. And since I rarely go out for dinner these days, it feels like a real treat.
I’m not sure if Joanna and I will be able to hang out again before our traditional cheesecake outing around the new year, but even if we don’t see each other until then we know we will have another great catch-up when we have our next meal!
Posted onAugust 15, 2022|Comments Off on Getting In Some Birthday Workouts (or Switching Up My Schedule For This Past Week)
This past week, I got to celebrate my birthday at Orangetheory. My original plan for last week was to take my birthday off since that is usually the weekday I don’t go to work out. But I found out a coach I hadn’t seen in a while would be there for that class and I knew that I would regret not going to class more than I would regret getting up early on my birthday. So I switched up a bit of my schedule to make it work.
Monday was my normal class and it was the last class I would have as a 38-year-old. I know age is just a number and I don’t feel my age at all, but it’s still cool to see how much stronger I am now than I was in the past. Maybe having the regular workouts in my routine is keeping me young or aging me backward. This workout ended up being a 2 group class instead of a 3 group class, so I didn’t have quite as much rowing as I expected.
For cardio, we had 3 blocks. In the first block, we had rounds of a 75-second push pace, 30-second all-out, and 1-minute recovery. We did 3 rounds of that and I really worked on trying to pedal faster for the all-outs since they were short and I wasn’t pushing myself with the resistance levels more than I normally do. In the second block, the intervals changed up a bit. We had a 1-minute push pace, 30-second all-out, and 1-minute recovery. And again, my main focus was on the all-outs and going as fast as I could. And the last block had 30-second push paces, 30-second all-outs, and 1-minute recoveries. By the last block, I was getting a bit tired since I’m usually not on the bike that long, so I was at more of a normal speed and not pushing myself quite as much.
And on the floor, we also had 3 blocks and each block started with a 300-meter row before we moved on to the rest of the floor. In the first block, we had chest presses with weights, push-ups, and hip dips. In the second block, we had lunges, squats, and back extensions. And in the last block, we had sumo deadlifts, hip bridges, and bicycle crunches. I did try to go heavier with the weights since I had time to work a bit slower than I normally do. And I did go very heavy for the sumo deadlifts and hip bridges.
Tuesday’s workout was special for multiple reasons. It was my birthday class, Benzo was back as the coach (who I hadn’t seen in months), and it was a signature workout. This was the Everest workout, which isn’t one of my favorites and if it wasn’t my birthday I wouldn’t have switched my schedule to go to a class on what is normally a day off. But I knew starting off my birthday with a good workout would be the right thing to do.
For cardio, the entire block was doing the Everest workout. For Everest in a 3 group class, you have 14 minutes and every minute for the first half you go up 2% in incline until you get to the top and every minute for the second half you go down 2% in incline. For me on the bike, I changed my resistance level by 1 each time, but I didn’t start much lower than my normal base pace level. If it was a 2 group class, I would have started lower so that I didn’t get too high in the resistance levels. Everest always starts pretty normally since they are the levels I’m used to using. But once I got above what I use as an all-out level things get really tough. Once I was at the top of the hill, my legs felt like they weren’t moving that much. But I wanted to push as hard as I could go because this is also a distance challenge to see how far you can get in the workout. I didn’t pay attention to what I had done before, but when I was done and entered my distance in our tracker, I realized I got a new PR with the furthest distance I’ve done for a 3 group Everest class!
On the rower, we had 2 blocks. The first block started with a 500-meter row and then we had lunges once we were done with the row. We continued that pattern and decreased the row by 100 meters each time. And in the second block, we started at 100-meters and increased by 100 meters each time. We had the same lunges between the rows in the second block as well.
And on the floor, we also had 2 blocks. And most of the exercises in both blocks had a rep range we could use so we could try going heavier with the weights than we normally do. We had single-arm low rows, overhead tricep extensions, single-arm reverse flys, and hammer curls that had rep ranges. In the first block, we also had side planks without a rep range. In the second block, we had crunches without a rep range. I did try going heavy with the weights since I could do the lower amount of reps, and I think I did pretty great.
And of course, I had to take a post-workout birthday photo!
Since I worked out on Tuesday, I skipped Wednesday and then continued my workouts for the week on Thursday. I don’t know what happened, but it seemed like everyone on Thursday struggled to sleep. This wasn’t just with people at the workout, all my friends were saying similar things too. So I was dragging just a bit in the workout. Thursday’s workout had 2 blocks for each section of the room, and I just tried my best.
For cardio, both blocks started with push paces and then we focused on all-outs for the rest of the block. The first block started with a 90-second push pace followed by a 1-minute base pace. Then we had 3 rounds of a 1-minute all-out and 30-second recovery. Only having 30 seconds to recover isn’t a lot and it almost felt like endless all-outs. In the second block, we started the same way with the push pace and base pace. Then we had 3 rounds of a 45-second all-out and 45-second recovery. This was a bit easier to do since the all-out was shorter and the recovery was longer. But it was still a lot of all-outs to do in one day.
On the rower, both blocks were all about doing 400-meter rows. In the first block, we had lunges between each row, and in the second block, we had rainbows with the medicine ball between each row. A 400-meter row isn’t a really long row, but it’s also not a sprint so I did have to work on pacing myself so I didn’t burn out too quickly each time.
And on the floor, both blocks had 3 exercises. In the first block, we had reciprocating rows with weights, bicep curls, and lateral step downs with toe taps. I did do the step downs instead of switching to lunges, but I made the bench shorter so I didn’t have to step down quite as much and I did balance by holding onto the wall. But I still think that’s better than not trying to do those at all. And in the second block, we had bicycle presses, tricep extensions, and hip bridges.
And I finished up my workout week on Friday like I normally do. I was a bit less tired on Friday, so I felt like I could push myself a bit more than I did on Thursday.
For cardio, for both blocks we timed ourselves and we had distance challenges. For both blocks, the treadmills had a .25-mile challenge, and I had a 1-mile challenge. In the first block, we started with 2% more incline/resistance than we normally do and after completing the distance we had 30-seconds to recover. Then we went down 1% in incline/resistance and repeated the pattern for a total of 3 rounds. In the second block, we had the same distance and recovery, but we didn’t use extra incline/resistance levels so we could really push with the speed. I noticed a difference between each block and how easily I could complete the distance and how I felt in my recovery.
On the rower, the first block had 200-meter rows. I tried to sprint as best as I could, but I know I need to work more on my rowing form again. Between each row, we had in and out hops. And in the second block, we had 150-meter rows. Again, I tried to sprint them as best as I could, but I know my form is holding me back. And between each row, we had high knees.
On the floor, we had 2 exercises for each block. The first block had split squats (which I did as lunges) and hip bridges using the bench so there is a bigger range of motion. And in the second block, we had chest flys and single-arm high rows. And to finish out the workout, for the last 45-seconds on the floor we were doing push-ups.
Overall, I think I had a pretty great birthday workout week. I was feeling good, which honestly makes the week so much better. I tried to push myself when I could, and I got an unexpected PR. I don’t think I could have asked for a better way to kick off being 39!
Posted onAugust 10, 2022|Comments Off on A Very Chill and Low-Key Birthday (or Being Ok With Not Doing Much)
This is going to be a bit of a shorter post. But I first wanted to say thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday yesterday. I really appreciated each and every message, text, comment, and phone call I got and it made my birthday feel special.
As I expected, my birthday was a pretty low-key day. I had my workout, then a full day of work, and I ended up ordering in so I didn’t have to cook and could have something a bit nicer for dinner. And all I did after work was have dinner and catch up on tv. And while it would have been nice to spend the day with other people or doing something really fun, it was totally fine with me to not do much.
Obviously, since it was a work day and I didn’t want to take a day off (nor could I really due to some meetings), I knew most of my day would be filled with work. And I don’t always have a ton of energy after work so I tend to be pretty lazy at home on weeknights. And I didn’t want to do anything crazy when I knew I’d be tired from work. If I’m going to go out and celebrate, I want to make sure I feel up for it and can really enjoy it.
I remember hearing when I was younger how you stop caring about birthdays when you get older. And I don’t know if that’s really the case for me. But I’m not as particular about when I might celebrate or doing something that isn’t as elaborate or crazy. I care but in different ways. And for me, at least for this year, spending the evening after work at home and just relaxing was the perfect way to kick off being 39!
Posted onAugust 9, 2022|Comments Off on It’s My Birthday! (or Starting Off My Last Year In My 30s)
It’s my birthday today! I’ve been someone who celebrates throughout the month, but the past few years have been harder for celebrating. I haven’t been able to do a big party because of the pandemic or my lack of organizing something. I still don’t know if I’d want to do a big thing because of the risk of getting sick. I’ve tried to keep up my birthday traditions however I can, but it seems like there are fewer traditions I’m keeping these days so my birthday celebrations don’t take up as many days. But I do still love to celebrate my birthday even if I’m not doing much for the actual day.
For today, as far as I know, I won’t be doing too much. I have my usual work routine plus I am doing a workout this morning even though I normally don’t go on Tuesdays. I don’t have plans after work, but I know that could change if I decide to do something or if a friend reaches out to me to see if I want to get dinner or something. But even if I don’t do much other than work, that’s ok. I have my other traditions that will happen on other days and I’ll be able to feel like I’m celebrating then.
I don’t usually feel my age, and I think knowing that I’m turning 39 now makes me feel even more disconnected from my age. I know that what other generations were doing by 39 doesn’t really mean much for what I should have in my life. And I know that I don’t look how I would expect 39 to be. Of course, I think so many people of my generation says that as we age and look at what our parents or grandparents were doing at our age. And I’m lucky that there isn’t any pressure from friends or family to be at any specific lifetime milestones so I don’t feel like I’m missing out. There are things that I wonder about and if I’ll have things in my life, but it’s not really a feeling of sadness or missing something. It’s more of a curiosity.
And I do love that everyone my age is redefining what this age means. I remember when I was younger and people were talking about getting close to 40 or turning 40 and how they were old and over the hill. And yes, I know that I could be past the halfway point of my life, but I also don’t see it that way. I see getting older as something interesting now. I don’t fear my age and I don’t lie to people to seem younger. I’m proud to be 39 and there’s nothing wrong with not having kids, being single, or anything else that is happening in my life right now.
Just because I feel good mentally about being in the last year of my 30s doesn’t mean my body is the same. I do have more pain now than I did before. I notice certain foods affect me in different ways and if I’m not sleeping well it takes longer to recover. But that just means I need to be more aware of what I do each day and accept that sometimes I might not recover from something crazy the way I used to. That’s nothing to be too upset about, just to be aware of.
I think I had a much harder time as I was getting closer to 30 than I am now. I didn’t really write about things when I was turning 29 about worrying about being 30, but I do remember being a bit more nervous about leaving my 20s behind and what my 30s would bring. And while there were negative or sad moments in my 30s so far, there were also some really great things that I never could have imagined. My life isn’t what I thought it would be, but that’s not always a negative thing. I have to celebrate the unbelievable things that have come my way as well. Even a year ago for my 38th birthday, I had no clue that the place I had been living in would be sold and I would be moving.
So much can happen in a year, and I’m excited to see what comes in my last year of being in my 30s to kick off a huge milestone birthday next year!
Posted onApril 6, 2022|Comments Off on A Very Fast Trip To Santa Barbara (or Getting To Celebrate My Nephew’s Birthday A Little)
This past weekend, my nephew Rory turned 2! I was excited his birthday fell on a day I had off so I could go to the little party my brother and sister-in-law were going to have for him. It was just going to be a party with family, so it wasn’t going to be a big gathering. But it was still a nice day I could spend with family.
And I was so excited to give Rory his gift. I had let my brother and sister-in-law know about the gift in advance, but I got him a balance bike! I wanted to make sure he wouldn’t get it from someone else and that they would have a helmet ready for him, so I couldn’t make it a total surprise. But at least it was going to be a surprise for Rory.
Since I couldn’t wrap the gift, I knew I had to get a really good bow for it. I found a bow that is supposed to be the type you put on a car if you give someone a car as a gift, but I figured a ridiculously big bow was the right choice. And when I put the bow on it, it was almost bigger than the bike!
The plan for me was to drive up to Santa Barbara that morning, spend the late morning and afternoon with my family, and drive back to LA in the late afternoon or early evening. It’s pretty much what I do every time I go up there since I just go for the day and not spend the night. And that morning, I was preparing to get into my car and make the drive when plans changed quite a bit.
Unfortunately, some of my family was exposed to Covid and things weren’t going to be able to happen the way we had planned. Because I wasn’t with my family while they were likely most contagious, I wanted to try to stay as safe and healthy as possible. But I wanted to still give my nephew his bike and try to celebrate him a bit. So I talked to my family about it and we decided that I would drive up to give Rory his gift, but I would stay at the end of the driveway so we would be outside and I would be at a distance. It’s not what I wanted to do, but it was what needed to be done so I could see everyone that day and also not put myself at extra risk.
The drive up to Santa Barbara isn’t that bad, and I’m glad there wasn’t really any traffic so it was a very simple drive. And I was able to bring the bike to their front porch before walking back so I could keep a bit of distance from my family. But I was able to stay there for a little bit so I could see Rory getting his bike and I think he liked it!
He didn’t like the helmet he needs to wear while riding it, but he was checking out the bike and I think that he’ll get more excited about it the more he gets to play with it. And I know he loves seeing kids at the park on scooters and bikes, so now he can join in too!
I didn’t get to see Presley because she was napping while I was there, but I knew since I was only going to be there for a few minutes that could be a possibility. I wish the timing worked out better, but it is what it is. I was glad that Rory seemed to be warming up to me more. I know I don’t see him that often so he can be a bit shy. But this time he was much more smiley and happy while I was around. He did still seem a bit more excited to wave goodbye to me, but that might have been because they were going into the house to play with his other new toys and he was just more excited about that.
I wish I could have spent more time with my family and gotten to celebrate Rory’s birthday more, but I also know we are still dealing with a pandemic and there was no need for me to be exposed. And staying safe and healthy now makes sure that I can celebrate more birthdays in the future so missing one isn’t the worst thing. And fortunately, Rory is young enough that he probably won’t remember that I had to miss this birthday with him.
And I am grateful that it seems like my family is going to be ok. This is the first time my family has been this affected by the pandemic and I know that we are very lucky that we have gone so long without having to worry this much. And we are very fortunate that even with this situation we are not as affected as so many others. This might not be the way we all wanted to celebrate my nephew’s 2nd birthday, but at least we did get to celebrate together (at a distance) in a way.
Posted onFebruary 22, 2022|Comments Off on Celebrating My Niece’s Birthday (or Another Santa Barbara Day)
During the pandemic, I’ve gone up to Santa Barbara for day trips quite a few times. It’s usually because of a celebration (like to meet my nephew and niece) or a holiday. And this past week, my niece turned one! So of course, I knew I’d be headed up there for the day again.
My niece’s actual birthday was on a Friday, and because I couldn’t take off work I couldn’t be there for the little family party they had (it was just immediate family so it was small). But I was able to take time off on Saturday so I could go up for the day then and still get to celebrate a bit!
And since I was going up for a birthday, I had to find a present! Getting gifts for babies can be tough, but I asked a few of my friends with little kids and a couple of them mentioned that at their kid’s preschool they had stacking dolls. It’s good for motor skills plus they can be fun. And I thought that sounded like a great idea. My niece’s room has a llama theme, and I found a set of stacking dolls that had different animals on them but the biggest one had a llama! So that seemed perfect!
Since my brother and sister-in-law had my niece’s party the day before, when I went up it was just a casual hangout. We went to the country club that they belong to so my nephew and niece could splash in the kiddie pool and we could hang out and have lunch. My sister-in-law’s parents were also there, so it was awesome to get to see them too.
My parents hadn’t seen the work done to the condo yet in person, but they had seen photos and been on FaceTime with me so talking about the renovation was a big topic. The last time I had seen most of this part of my family was at Thanksgiving which was right after we bought it and we hadn’t started to plan the renovation yet. Fortunately, I take a ton of photos so I had a lot on my phone I could show everyone.
And of course, it was awesome to see my nephew and niece. They haven’t seen me a ton, so I’m still a bit of a stranger to them. But they have both warmed up a bit. My nephew was trying to give me half-eaten bits of hot dog, which is one of the best compliments a toddler could give you. My niece smiled at me a bunch and was giving me high fives.
The only downside to this day trip was that I didn’t really take any photos. I wasn’t focused on doing that, which is good. But I wish I had some. I did get some photos from the day before that my mom took, so that makes it a bit better.
Once it was nap time, I went back to the rental house my parents were staying in to go over some condo things. My parents were going to come to LA the next day, so we didn’t have to do a lot. But we planned out what we needed to accomplish and also went through some catalogs to get ideas for what things I want to look for in stores when I’m getting more things together for my move.
I didn’t stay too late since I knew I’d see my parents again the next morning. Normally when I drive back to LA, it’s already dark. But this time, I got a pretty nice view as I was headed home!
But I’ll be back in Santa Barbara soon because in a little over a month my nephew is turning 2 and I’m very excited about the gift I’m giving him!
Posted onSeptember 1, 2021|Comments Off on Celebrating And Future Planning (or Preparing For What Comes Next For Me)
Last month, my challenge was to celebrate what I could in my life. I knew I needed to do this. I have been focused on a lot of negative things lately and I wanted to change that. Things are still not normal or feeling really safe, but there are still good things happening in my life even if they are silly. And celebrating the silly things was kind of what this challenge was about.
There were the obvious things to celebrate like my birthday and how I celebrated my birthday. I didn’t celebrate my birthday as much as I would have liked to, but I still celebrated. And seeing friends and going out for a meal are really things to celebrate these days. I celebrated little victories I had in work like when I got good news or figured out something that will make my work better. And I celebrated anything I could think of. I still use grocery delivery a lot (I have to admit it’s pretty convenient), and I would celebrate if I got everything I ordered without a substitution or something being out of stock. I celebrated when I found a good deal on things I was looking at buying. I celebrated when I felt like I accomplished everything I wanted to within a day.
I really did notice a change in my mindset as I celebrated things. I have been doing gratitude lists every day as I’m getting ready for bed, so I usually take some time each day to focus on the good things that happened to me. But I usually don’t think about it all day, just when it’s the end of the day and I’m reflecting on things. But this past month, I did keep it in mind as I went about my day. Even taking a moment to recognize something to celebrate put me in a better mood for whatever I wanted to do next. I don’t know if I’ll continue to celebrate everything I can the way that I did this past month, but I want to continue at least some of this habit because it did help me each day.
And this month, in a way my challenge is a bit of the same thing but also a bit of the opposite. I know a lot of people do this in different situations, but I tend to think way ahead in the future whether it is good or bad. If I have an amazing audition, I think about how my life might be if I booked the job. If there is something that worries me that may be happening in the future, I start thinking about all the bad things that might come. I was doing that recently when I found out about my landlord selling where I live. I dream of what the future might look like, whether it is good or bad, and I get myself either worried or excited about things that might not happen. So I want to work on curtailing that.
I know that I can’t prevent it completely nor do I think that would be smart. I do want to plan ahead, both good and bad. I do want to celebrate if a good thing could happen and imagine some great things. But I don’t want that to be a big focus for me. I want to maybe spend a little time on that future planning and then move on to things that I can work on at that time. For example, when I was panicking about my place being sold, I spent a lot of time wondering what I would do and where I would go. I started to stress out about a lot of things that may not happen for months depending on how quickly my landlord finds a buyer. Instead of worrying about all the things that might be coming, I refocused on what I could change. I started looking at options for where I could move instead of just imagining a plan. I started to make a plan that I think will be a really great thing (but more to come on that when I have more information). I can’t change how quickly some things might happen, but I can be prepared for what I have ready at that time. And that’s how I want to manage my future planning.
The same idea can work for when my future planning is about good things. Using my union election as an example, I can imagine how great it would be if the people I want to be elected win and what it might be like if I am elected to the local board. But right now, I can focus on the work I was doing to get out the vote and help other candidates campaign by what I post on our social media. Planning for the future with tangible things and not just daydreaming.
I’m curious how this will work out for me this month. It might be a great thing or it might feel stifling. I’m not sure yet. But that’s why it’s a challenge I’m going to try out and see how I feel in a month. And if I love it, I’ll keep doing it. If I don’t, I’ll adjust as I feel necessary and maybe try again. And maybe in a month, I’ll be writing about something new I learned about myself or how I manage things that come my way. That’s what these challenges are all about. Pushing myself to try something and see if it benefits my life and if I want to keep doing it.
I guess we’ll have to see in a month what happens!
Posted onAugust 17, 2021|Comments Off on Returning To A Birthday Tradition (or A Rare Meal Out)
I’ve had my birthday tradition of eating at Truxton’s with my birthday twin for a long time now. I say every year how much I love having this tradition of going to dinner with Joanna because we always set aside this time for each other each year. We don’t necessarily get to hang out as much as we’d like to over the year, but this time is sacred and we will always make sure we find a way to have this dinner.
Even last year when things were so unclear with the pandemic, we made it happen. We might have had a picnic instead of what we were used to and we were both being so cautious and careful about everything we did, but we still had our dinner. And at that point last year, I was seeing so few people that any real face-to-face time was special to me.
So even though things have taken a turn for the slightly worse with the pandemic recently, we knew we would still have our birthday dinner. We didn’t decide until the day of what the final plan would be. For me, I really did want to eat there if possible, but I wasn’t sure how Joanna would feel about it. But since they had tables outside that were set pretty far apart from each other, we agreed that eating there would be nice and safe enough.
We ended up arriving at the restaurant within about a minute of each other, and since there was nobody sitting outside at the time, we were able to be seated quickly. Since the pandemic, I’ve rarely gone to eat at a restaurant. I’ve gotten take out and delivery, but this dinner was only the 3rd time since March of 2020 that I have sat down at a restaurant and had a meal. Even if this wasn’t our birthday dinner, that alone would have made this feel so special.
Even though we have been going to Truxton’s for a long time, we always still see what is on the menu in case there are new things. And I’m not sure if they changed things earlier but last year it was a limited menu or if these were more recent changes, but there were so many new items on the menu this time!
We pretty much always get monkey bread to start and then share a dessert, plus we each get our own entrees. But this time, there was a new burrata grilled cheese sandwich that sounded so good to both of us! So we decided we’d get 2 sandwich meals and then each take half. So we got the grilled cheese and the turkey avocado club (which is a sandwich that I have gotten before and really like).
And I’m glad we split the sandwiches because the grilled cheese was so good but so rich! I never could have the entire thing myself!
Besides enjoying a nice dinner out and having a good meal, of course I loved getting to catch up with Joanna too. Both of us haven’t had a ton going on because of how we are being careful, but there is always something to update each other on. I was filling her in on some random dating stories that happened recently and she was telling me about a trip she was going to go on soon. Despite all the craziness going on in the world around us, this dinner was a nice sense of normalcy that I feel I don’t get to have that often. And while I can’t escape thinking about everything happening in the world, it was so nice to have just a bit of time to focus on something else that is more positive.
And yes, it was almost a free meal. The completely free meal isn’t really an option for us, but that’s ok. It ended up being about $5 each after our discount and we each left $20 (so our server got a $30 tip). The meal was beyond worth the $20 each!
And considering that our last 2 traditions (our birthday last year and cheesecake around the new year) had to be done in an unusual way, getting to have this almost normal dinner tradition was really one of those things that made me hopeful and grateful that more normal things might be coming soon.
I have no clue if by the end of this year or the beginning of next year things will be normal enough for us to have our cheesecake dinner the way we are used to. Worst case, we find another way to do it like we did the last time. But at least for our birthday dinner, we did get to return to an almost normal way of us celebrating.
Celebrating My Niece’s Birthday (or Another Santa Barbara Day)
