I don’t think there is anyone who is single and trying to date right now that doesn’t think things are weird. Dating during a pandemic is just so odd. There are so many things you have to worry about. You have to build a lot of trust before meeting someone, which wasn’t how it was before. So many people are getting very serious very quickly because that’s almost what you have to do. People who were in a relationship before the pandemic started are also having weird things happening. You might stick it out more than you normally would because you know you can’t really date. Some people are discovering quickly that they are not meant to be.
We are over 6 months into this and it’s still tough to figure out what is safe and what is stupid. For the most part, I’m not really dating right now because I can’t. I’ve tried, and I’ve found things that stopped it from progressing. I am still active on various apps and I have done quite a few virtual dates (like using the video chat feature on an app or watching a movie together over Netflix Party). I have met someone in person, but that was after we both were making sure that neither of us was sick and we had taken a lot of time to build trust before we met. Unfortunately, even though we had chemistry when we were texting and talking on the phone, it didn’t translate to in-person chemistry so that didn’t go anywhere (although we are still talking and have said we want to be friends).
I really miss dating. I don’t love dating, but I still miss it. Dating did bring some excitement to my life. And even my bad dates brought some entertainment to me. And I like knowing that maybe the next guy I go out with will be the right guy for me. I also think part of missing dating is missing all physical touch. Cuddling with someone, getting a hug, holding hands, or just sitting with someone on the couch are things I can’t really do right now. And while a lot of those things were things I got from my friends, I also got them from dating. And I also miss having opportunities to go out and be social. Again, I got that a lot from friends but I also got it from dating.
It does feel odd to me that I miss dating this much. Until a few years ago, I didn’t date a lot. I would meet someone somehow and would go on dates every so often. But I wasn’t using dating apps and I didn’t have that many opportunities to meet people to date. I don’t know what the longest stretch was that I had without a date, but I’m guessing it’s probably similar to how long we’ve been dealing with the pandemic. Back then, I didn’t miss dating. Possibly because I had a lot of other things filling up my time. But I think it was mainly because I never was a big dater. No time in my life compares to the past few years with dating. So I didn’t miss things because I never knew any different. But now I do and it’s hard to not miss it.
I will say, I am trying to stay grateful about being single right now. If I was dating any guy that I was dating before right now and was stuck with them all the time, I think I would have been miserable. I might not have the courage to end things because I wouldn’t want to be lonely and there’s not an easy way to date now to meet someone new. I try to convince myself a lot that being lonely is better than being miserable. It’s hard sometimes to believe that, but I know that it has to be at least a little bit true.
Who knows when things will be safer for everyone. I hope it will be soon, but the longer we are in this pandemic the longer I think we might have to wait it out. I’m still trying to find ways to date and be safe, but it’s really limited. I know that if I’m not able to date for several more months, it’s not the worst thing. It’s not great, but I can live without dating if that means I don’t take unnecessary risks and won’t get sick. Maybe having a break from dating will help me be better at dating when I’m able to do it. I guess I’ll find out whenever we are able to be out and social again.
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