This past week of workouts was just bad for me. There’s no real way to make it sound better. I can say that I at least did something, but I don’t know if I can say anything more positive than that. And honestly, I wonder if doing nothing would have been better for my mood. I know it wouldn’t have been better physically for me, because something is better than nothing. But mentally, maybe I wouldn’t be so down if I didn’t work out at all compared to feeling really horribly about how I did.
I knew this past week was going to be tough. My nausea wasn’t as bad as it has been in the past, but it was still affecting me a lot. I really worried that I would throw up several times in the middle of the workout. I’m glad I didn’t, but it really made me hesitant. So I was already not doing my full ability and then this gave me a mental roadblock too. I wanted to try to push myself, but I was terrified to do so. And it felt like whenever I did push a bit more, that’s when nausea kicked in. It felt like an endless battle and at the end of each workout I was feeling pretty defeated.
I also had a bit of a weird schedule this past week because I was working around the schedule for my new job. Right now, my schedule isn’t the same every day because I am training and working at different times lets me see different parts of the job. This is only temporary and once I’m fully working on my own I will have a schedule that should be the same every day. It will still change when I’m used to working out unless I find a way to work out a bit earlier than I’m used to. That might be possible, I just have to see how it goes.
But I’ve gotten so used to having my workouts be one of the first things I do each day. Even if it’s not as early as I like to work out, I try to get it done first before moving on to other things with my day. But once I’m working my new schedule, there is a chance that I will be working and then working out after. Again, I may be able to work out before I work, it just depends on a few things. But that also may change if I end up doing the outdoor workouts because I will need to take driving time into account. But I’m not going to worry about that just yet.
As much as I want to do the outdoor workouts and I know that I will probably feel so much better about my workouts if I did those, I just don’t feel ready to do them yet. It’s not just not feeling like I’m ready to get back to hard workouts (which I don’t feel like I am), but it’s about how the number of cases is going here. I know that working out outside where everyone is spaced apart and people are required to wear masks is one of the safer things you can do. With contact tracing, they have shown that most cases are coming from people having gatherings in their homes. But I’m still a bit hesitant. And if I’m nervous about that, I don’t feel like I should force myself to go. It’s not like I’m trying to get myself to work out at all. I am still doing them (even this past week when it felt like I didn’t). I just need to feel like it’s safe enough for me to be able to focus on the workout and not be panicking while I’m there.
At this rate, I don’t think I’ll be doing any outdoor workouts before the new year. This means I will likely be ending my 2020 workouts by doing them at home. And I don’t want to end my 2020 workouts the way I feel now. I want to feel proud of myself for what I did. I want to be happy that I didn’t let a pandemic stop me from trying to achieve my goals. Working out from home for 9 months of the year wasn’t my plan, but it was my reality. And I want to make sure that is a positive memory and not a negative one.
I don’t know if I’ll be feeling better this week or not. I’m guessing at least part of this week will still be days I’m dealing with nausea. But I’m hoping that at least toward the end of the week I will be feeling better. And then I can work on finishing out the year with some of my best workouts at home of the year. I would love to end this year feeling really awesome and how I used to feel doing workouts in the studio. I know that might be possible, but it’s what I’m hoping for and I want to at least try to make it happen.
You Might Also Like
I Hate Having A Hard Workout Week (or Not My Usual Workout Recap)
Not My Usual Workout Recap Post (or I Survived A Bad Week)
A Bad Workout Week For A Different Reason (or I Guess I Was Too Optimistic)
Ringing In The New Year With Workouts (or A Rare 5 Workout Week)
Not The Workout Week I Planned On (or Starting To Prepare To Go Back)
Another Hard Workout Week (or A Repeat Of The Last Week In More Ways Than One)
