Last week was not a very exciting week for me. After everything that happened, I was exhausted. Physically exhausted, mentally exhausted, and emotionally exhausted. If I had just had the convention, I probably would have been exhausted for the week. Having that plus my grandma passing away brought my exhaustion to a new level.
I have realized that I didn’t really give myself time to grieve much in the days after my grandma passing away. I had to stay focused on the work I was doing at the convention and that’s what she would have wanted me to do. I was grateful for the distraction, but that also meant that things finally started to hit me more last week when I had the time to think about them. I had a big breakdown on the day she passed away, but after that, I had mini-breakdowns each day. I have been able to get myself together after a few minutes, and it gets easier each day. I’m worried that it will hit me so much more at Thanksgiving, but there’s nothing I can do in advance to help make that easier.
Crying and grieving is tiring. And being exhausted from lack of sleep didn’t help that feeling. So last week, I really just spent the week doing what I had to do and not much else. I worked and went to my workouts, but I didn’t do much beyond that. The week was a bit of a blur for me, but I honestly don’t think I left my house much last week. I went to the grocery store and ran errands, but I didn’t do anything social. And being home was probably the best thing for me because I could rest when I needed to.
And I also needed to focus on a lot of housework. The days I was working at the convention were packed and I wasn’t home much at all. When I got home, I would put my stuff down, make sure my bag was packed for the next day and go to bed. I had piles of things around my house that I put down and knew I would deal with later. And last week was the later time I had to worry about it. Fortunately, a lot of the things I had around my house was stuff that I didn’t need or had a very obvious storage place. But there are a few things that I still need to figure out if I will keep them and if I do where they will go. And besides organizing, I had the normal cleaning stuff I had to do. I hated how dirty my house felt because I hadn’t cleaned in a few days. I finally have it back to how I like it and it feels much better.
While I don’t love that I basically took a week to recover from a crazy few days, it’s exactly what I needed to do. If I hadn’t taken that time, I think I would still be dragging on a bit right now. I would have pushed myself to do more and I would still be exhausted. I’m still grieving a bit and dealing with the emotional exhaustion, but it’s much easier to deal with when I’m not physically exhausted. And I am dealing with a lot of pain and nausea right now which I think would have been much harder to deal with if I was tired. I still am taking naps occasionally, but this is normal for me when I’m feeling nauseous.
And at least I’ve got some fun things planned for this week and I’m feeling much more up to them than I would have last week. I’ve got some Halloween parties to go to and a Halloween costume to make. I haven’t started the work on my costume, but I have the idea and hopefully, it will be easy to make once I have the supplies. And since Halloween is one of my favorite holidays I think that will boost my spirits even more.
And even though I am not fully back to my normal self, I’m glad I’m much closer than I was last week. I am still being gentle with myself and making sure I don’t overschedule things, but I also know that if I don’t start doing things again that it will also affect me. I just have to slowly add things back in and not be worried to cancel them if I need to.
You Might Also Like
Having Another Lazy Weekend (or Trying Not To Feel Like I Missed Out)
Working Through General Panic Issues (or Dealing With Lack Of Control)
A Bit Of Self-Care Fail (or Maybe I Was Hard On Myself)
A Week Of Getting Back To Normal (or Still Dealing With The Same Old Issues)
A Good Workout Week (or Only Dealing With Old Issues)
Another Weird Workout Week (or Dealing With A Different Type Of Nausea)
