I have had no regrets at all since doing the surgery to remove what turned out to be a benign tumor on my chin. I was a bit worried going into it based on what other doctors had said to me, but I quickly realized that my fears were not going to be realized. I was not going to have a massive scar or look disfigured from having this removed. Maybe the doctor who told me that before really believed that and surgical techniques have improved a lot since then or maybe he was warning me and didn’t think it was guaranteed to be that bad. Either way, I’m so glad that the original doctor was wrong and I found a new doctor who was confident that he could do it and didn’t think it would be a bad decision for me.
Before I had the surgery, I was so self-conscious and aware of the mark on my face. Not only did it feel like everyone was looking at it and it was the most noticeable thing on my face (although I know that wasn’t true), it was painful too. The skin on it would sometimes break and it would start bleeding. I know that’s gross, but it’s the truth. I hated how it would hurt and I was so embarrassed when I realized that it started to bleed. The skin around it was so irritated from both the past treatments I had done and all the trauma to the skin that the breaks would cause. While my main motivation for the surgery was for appearance, the physical issues were a reason too.
I did whatever I could to make the mark blend in with the rest of my skin. I had so many concealers I would use and I wouldn’t leave the house without using at least one. Even when I was going to my workout, I would put concealer on that spot and it would make me feel better about myself. It’s crazy how much one little thing (that most people didn’t even notice) affected my life and had me working around it.
Since the surgery, I’ve been doing treatments to keep the scar soft and as minimal as possible. It’s not that much work and it’s been easy to have as a part of my normal skincare routine. I’ve only had one follow up with my doctor and he was very happy with how the scar looked. I’ll be seeing him again at the end of the summer when I do my normal skin/mole check, but I’m guessing he will be looking at the scar too. I think he will tell me that I have been doing a great job with the aftercare and that I should probably continue with the same plan as long as I can. I want the scar to look as close as possible to the skin around it, so I will do anything I have to do to accomplish that.
But I realized this week that I don’t really need the acknowledgment from my doctor that I am doing the right thing. I haven’t been putting concealer on my face like I was doing before. I still put some on when I wear makeup or am going out because the skin is a bit more red on the scar than on the surrounding skin. But I don’t feel the need to wear it when I’m going to work out or when I’m just going to run a quick errand. Considering how important my concealer was to me before surgery, it’s amazing to think that it’s not even something I think about anymore.
I have been skipping the concealer for my workouts or quick errands since my surgery. But it was only like that right after surgery because I wasn’t allowed to put makeup over the scar. At my follow up I was given a timeline as to when I could start using it. But I actually don’t remember how long I was supposed to wait because I never thought about it again. I think it was another week or two after the stitches came out, but by the time I was able to do so I wasn’t worried about it.
I know that there is no requirement to wear makeup or to conceal any blemishes or marks, but for me, I was covering it up for me and not for what others thought. If I forgot concealer and had to see a bunch of people, I couldn’t focus because I was so worried about if anyone would notice it. It was really a big time suck in my life and I love that it’s not anymore. And to know that I didn’t even realize that I’m not worried about it anymore makes it even better and more proof that it’s a non-issue for me now.
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