I’ve had times in the past where I’ve struggled with what to write on here. My life isn’t always super interesting and I do try to schedule stuff from time to time because I know they will make a good blog post. And I really felt like I had been doing things lately that were fun, but this week I’ve really struggled with topics to write about on here.
I don’t know what I’ve been doing with my time that feels like I’m busy but I’m really not. I’ve been doing a lot of work stuff lately and doing some random side projects for friends (I’ve recently been doing some graphic design work and am finding that I’m able to do more than I thought). I’ve had some dates recently, but nothing too crazy that it needs to be a blog post on here. And I think I’ve just been very focused on getting better and that has been tricking me into thinking I’m busy.
And I know I’ve spent a lot of time just being lazy. I want to use the excuse of trying to get better as the reason for my laziness, but I know that’s not really it. I’ve just been in a low spot physically and mentally and I think that being lazy is the way I’ve been recovering from it all. I do feel so much more like myself, but I still am having moments where things feel overwhelming and I need to take some time to decompress. But those moments are getting less frequent so I’m happy about that.
It’s also been getting hotter in LA lately. I was hoping we’d still have more June Gloom to help keep the temperatures down. But it’s been getting hotter and that means it’s been hotter inside my house all day while I’m working. I’m so grateful that I have my A/C so I can keep it cooler. I would love to use the A/C as little as possible, but it’s very tough for my house to cool down even when I open up all the windows. For example, as I’m writing this it is 71 outside and 84 inside after running my A/C. And if I opened up the windows, I know that it wouldn’t be getting much cooler inside by the time I go to bed. I know that because I dealt with that for so many years. It’s just the way that my house was build and how the insulation works.
The heat adds to my laziness, but I can’t completely blame it for how I’ve been feeling lately. But because of everything that I’ve been dealing with lately, I’m just trying to be extra gentle with myself and not trying to feel guilty for being lazy. I do have some things planned coming up that will be fun, but I’m not going to push myself to schedule more just so I could have better blog posts. I’ve said it before, but showing how boring life can be sometimes is an important part of this blog. I don’t love having to admit it, but I also don’t want to be only posting the best parts of my life and having a fake online persona. This is the real me and this is really what I’m dealing with.
I do feel bad when my posts on here aren’t as interesting because I know that you all reading these don’t necessarily find them interesting either. But I did make a commitment to myself that I was going to blog every weekday and I’ve been doing that for so many years now. I’m not going to let a lag in my social life ruin that streak I’ve been having.
At least the weekend is almost here and I know I’ve got some fun things next week happening. That doesn’t mean I won’t necessarily have some boring days, but I am looking forward to having something fun to write on here!
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