Since March, I’ve been very careful with what I do. I don’t leave my house that often. I try to get most of the things I need delivered to my house so I can avoid going to the store. There are a few times I do go to the store to get things, but that’s pretty rare. I usually only do that if it’s a store that I can’t get things delivered to me or if I have an urgent need to get something (like when I needed more bandages and had to go to CVS instead of waiting on a delivery).
I have seen friends and family very few times. When I do see people, it’s typically wearing masks and I’m doing a full quarantine before and after. If I can’t be outside when I see people, usually windows and doors are open. I know that even doing that isn’t as safe as it can be, but it’s better than not taking any precautions and I have tried to limit those visits as much as I can. It’s hard to not see anyone in real life, so having a few times where I can see people has helped in the very lonely moments.
I feel like in a way I have become a bit of a germaphobe and agoraphobic, but I feel like these fears are temporary and should go away once it’s safer to be out and I don’t feel like it’s a big health risk to be out and about. I’m not fearful of anything other than COVID as far as germs go. So once that isn’t an issue, I don’t see why I would still be scared. I want to leave my house and do more, but COVID is the one thing holding me back from doing that right now.
And with all the precautions and measures I’ve been taking lately, I’ve actually started to do more work to keep me safe now. This may seem odd because we now have a vaccine and people are starting to be vaccinated, but that’s exactly why I am being more careful now.
I feel very good about the vaccine. It is amazing how well it is showing to stop COVID and the technology that led to this vaccine might be able to do some great things for other diseases and conditions. I will be getting the vaccine the moment that I am able to. I still have to wait because I’m not in a group that is eligible yet, but I hope that in the next month or two I will be able to get my first shot.
My brother (who works in an ER) has already gotten both of his shots. My parents (who fit into the older age category) got their first one earlier this week and have an appointment for their second one next month. My cousin (who is a nurse) has also already gotten one vaccine. I’m so grateful that my family is hopefully going to be safe and soon I won’t have to worry about them as much as I have been worried over the past year.
And it’s just a matter of time before I will get a vaccine and be protected. But I don’t want to be the person who takes risks before being fully vaccinated and gets sick at the end. I remember reading stories of people who died right before they could have been saved, and to me, that is one of the saddest things. In almost all of those cases, the people died at no fault of their own. But in this case, I can have a little control over whether or not I get sick. I don’t have to take risks now when we are almost at the end. The finish line is closer and I don’t need to rush anything. I don’t love being isolated, but I’m almost done with it. And being isolated for another few months is worth knowing that I am safe and healthy.
I do not want to get sick when I am so close to not having to worry about it. And hopefully, once I’m vaccinated there will be enough people vaccinated that we will see a big decrease in cases. That will protect others who won’t be vaccinated yet. There will be a snowball effect of decreasing risk. And while we don’t know if this is going to be an annual thing that we need to be vaccinated against, like the flu, I think we all need to see that we can get past this time to feel better about any times we have to battle it in the future. If we see the vaccines end the pandemic, hopefully if there needs to be an annual booster people will get it.
I know that I won’t be able to just be free and do anything once I’m vaccinated, but I think it will help take the edge off of my fear about getting sick. I will still take a lot of precautions and will probably stay isolated a little longer until more people are vaccinated and the cases are much lower than they are now. But knowing I’m almost safe and protected is giving me so much hope and I just have to keep going with that feeling.
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